Bachelor in Paradise – Demi

Tonight’s episode is truly all about Demi. It’s so important for so many reasons and I really wanna give that situation the attention and respect it deserves so I’m going to leave that for the end. First I have a few comments about some of the other relationships and Bachelor in Paradise right now. So let’s start with those.

Blake, Caitlin and Kristina

What happened to Kristina?! I really like her and I know her personally, but she’s coming across as so harsh the season. When in actuality, she’s one of the sweetest girls ever! It’s like she came into Paradise with a big chip on her shoulder. And I hate that for her! Because I know that’s not who she is. I do agree with her that Kaitlin shouldn’t have really been concerned with Kristina trying to get a friendship rose. That’s Kristina’s business. And she should just focus on Blake. But Kristina was just mean to her.

I honestly think Kristina’s gonna watch this back and wish she handled that differently. She is such a sweet girl and I don’t think we saw the best side of her tonight. Also, just a side note, but Caelynn seems so supportive of Caitlin pursuing Blake, and it again makes me think that we don’t know the entire side of the story!

blake kristina BIP bachelor in paradise

Chris, Jen and Katie

I definitely feel for Katie. So many women out there can relate to putting up walls and saying we don’t care about something as a defense mechanism – I did it countless times in my 20s. I call it the “cool girl” syndrome. You’re trying to act cool but really you’re not being honest with the other person or yourself. But let me tell you this. If you’re a young girl reading this looking for love, don’t ever play the cool girl. And I can say that because I did it so many times. When you meet the right one you won’t have to play cool girl.

chris katie bachelor in paradise

When I first started dating Kevin I remember how easy it was. All the games that I had played with guys in the past were done. I didn’t wait to text him two days after I date, I texted him the second I walked in my front door. Or the second we walked away from each other. So if you’re out there looking for love, drop the games. Be your true authentic self and say what you truly feel and if the person doesn’t reciprocate that then they’re not the right person for you.

Demi + Kristian

I absolutely wept when Demi saw Kristian for the first time in Paradise. Their love for each other was so evident and raw. I know there’s been some speculation out there that Demi knew that Kristian was coming on the show. And obviously I can’t know for sure one way or another whether or not she knew. None of us can. Only Demi knows that. But I will say that as a viewer she seemed utterly shocked to see her. All of that emotion that we see come from her when she first sees Kristian is without a doubt real. I wholeheartedly believe that she had no idea.

demi kristian bachelor in paradise

You have to put yourself in Demi shoes. Some people have compared her going on the show with a girl from back home, to the same scenario if she had gone on the show with the boyfriend back home. I strongly disagree with that sentiment. It’s comparing apples to oranges. Demi was still trying to figure out her sexuality. And while I’ve never been in the shoes of someone who is coming out of the closet, from what I understand it is one of the most emotionally challenging times in someone’s life. So for anyone to say she was stringing Derek along is just not fair.

I will say that I do think that Demi asked for Kristian to come to Paradise. I feel like when she sat down with Chris Harrison she must’ve asked him that or they must’ve had the conversation about it. Maybe he asked her and she said yes she wanted Kristian to come. Because when Demi sits down with Derek to talk about it she even says that she wanted Kristian here. So there’s definitely something we didn’t see. But it doesn’t really matter. I’m guessing they cut it out of the Chris Harrison conversation because they didn’t want to give away that Kristian could be coming.

Derek’s Heartbreak

And man, my heart breaks for Derek. Both Derek and Demi are both incredible people. And their love and respect for each other was evident in their conversation when Demi told him about Kristian was there in Paradise. But my goodness, do I hope he sticks around to meet somebody. I feel so invested in his love story now and really want him to find love.


Final thoughts

Demi and Kristian’s date was perfect. What else can I say. I found myself in a puddle of tears multiple times throughout this episode. Mostly because I am so proud of Demi! And of Kristian! The strength that it takes to put yourself out there on a show like the Bachelor with a relationship that not all people understand or respect is an extremely brave thing to do. I always had respect for Demi. I’ve always thought she was strong and outspoken but still kind and funny! But now my level of respect for how fearless she is is it a whole other level. Some tears tonight are tears of happiness for her! And some are tears of fear for her for what she’s about to face. Most importantly tears of hope for all the young men and women watching that show who now see their relationship represented.

I feel like there are so many great candidates for the Bachelor this year! Now that we have seen this whole situation unfold with Derek and Demi and how genuine he is, I think it definitely puts him in the running to be the next Bachelor, along with Pilot Pete and Mike! Who do you think it’s going to be? And who do you want it to be?

Demi Visited Bachelor Happy Hour Today!

Also, earlier today I sat down with Demi, and Rachel called in, to record an episode for a podcast. And let me tell you it was really special. We laughed, we talked, we cried. I truly felt lucky to sit down with Demi and tell her how amazing I think she is. When she first walked into the room to do the podcast I could see how nervous she was. This poor girl in her early 20s is putting her life out there for the world to judge. A life that not everyone’s going to agree with.

And as soon as she walked in and I saw her I wrapped her up in my arms and gave her the biggest hug. I told her how exceptional she is and how she is going to change so many lives by selflessly sharing her story. I loved hearing everything she has to say about her journey so far and why she decided to open up. She also addresses so many questions that I know you all have so I hope you tune in to the podcast first thing tomorrow morning. Subscribe here if you haven’t already.

demi ali fedotowsky manno bachelor happy hour BIP

 1. $16 TEE | 2. STRIPED SHIRT | 3. JEANS

Fashion Recap + BIP Cast Outfits

I hope you have been enjoying my weekly fashion recaps, as much as I’ve loved going them! I feel like I am really getting good at finding contestants outfits! Ha! I’ll update if I find anymore! Last night’s post also had a ton of outfits linked, if you wanna check that out here.


This red and pink top keeps popping up in almost every episode so I thought it was a good one to note! I’m on the hunt for her purple tie dye outfit.



I found her knotted swimsuit, but it was sold out in yellow. I thought the reversible blue was really cool and it’s on sale!





I’m pretty positive that this is Nicole’s ruffle bikini top!


Okay now a recap from the past week!

First of all, if you haven’t checked it already, I just redid Molly’s reading nook! Definitely check that out if you haven’t! I am so excited that she is loving her new space as much as I am. She truly is reading all the time and I am glad that this space will encourage that even more! Did you see her “Mr. Whale” bookshelf and new rainbow painting?!

My dress from this photo is only $11! And it’s a great dress for 11 bucks! Molly’s outfit is $10, for both the top and shorts. So I can proudly say that I dressed both of us for just $21!

kids reading nook flower kids

whale kids room flower kids


Thanks so much for visiting my BIP blog post! See you soon!



140 Thoughts

140 thoughts on “Bachelor in Paradise – Demi

  1. Be who you want to be. I just am not able to watch homosexuals together! If Bachelor nation goes down that path I’ll have to tune out.

    1. Wow there really are still people like this.
      Why someone would ever have a problem with two people loving each other is just f#cked. Tune in to life!!

      1. Hi Rena – Please: Let’s not make it worse than it is.. Jill isn’t condemning gay ppl, but saying she doesn’t like viewing same sex make outs.
        Personally the Hannah straddles didn’t bother me on Bachlorette, but alot of people cringed. For whatever reason on BIP all the tongue covdrage grosses me out….I think make out tolerance is really idiosyncratic.

        1. Hi Missus! I was one of those who cringed every time Hannah B straddled all the guys, which was ALOT. And when she bragged about her sexual escapades and how many times. Then complained that people called her a slut….um, yes. But anyway, thank you for what you said. I also don’t condemn gay people, but I find it very difficult to watch them together and will turn away if I see it, particularly the tongue kissing and caressing. Just not something that is comfortable for me to watch. Maybe because I am older and I just don’t understand it, I don’t know. I get completely what Jill is saying.

    2. Jill, I agree with you. I want people to love who they want, and if they are homosexual, so be it. I have a cousin who is gay and has been ‘married’ to his boyfriend for many years. However, I am uncomfortable watching homosexuals kiss or be together, just not something I care to see. Maybe because I was raised in a different time, or because of my religion, I don’t know. But that doesn’t mean I am condemning gay people, I just have to look away when there are displays of affection. I get completely what you are saying.

        1. They live in a state where they cannot really get married, legally. Not all states have that option yet. Hence the quotation marks.

          1. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions then, but regardless of whether the marriage is legal (and how sad for them that it can’t be yet), I would hope it is considered as legitimate as any heterosexual partnership.

      1. Hi Jill/Jackie,

        I understand where you’re coming from and have heard this same sentiment before, even from fairly liberal-minded people. I think it does have a lot to do with your generation and what you’re used to seeing. Personally, I’m from a younger generation and grew up in Vancouver, Canada, which is quite liberal, so it’s not only something I’m morally okay with – it’s something I’ve been exposed to. I would just encourage you to challenge yourselves to try to make it something you’re more comfortable with, instead of accepting that it simply isn’t for you. I think for the most part, people just aren’t used to seeing public displays of homosexual affection, which is why it’s so great that it’s being showcased on a major show like the Bachelor. Hopefully this will help to make people more comfortable.

    3. The show is about love. I rather watch a true connection between two individuals than fake relationships in a heterosexual relationship.

      1. hhhaa – God knows we’ve seen plenty of That. O Sarah- too true.

        Between producers encouraging make.out screen time and contenders Wrong Reasons …the moments of Real Love sure stand out.

        Its why all of us watch!! #Love

  2. I completely loved this episode and am so happy Demi is being true to herself. I also have always liked Derek but even more now, I think he handled the whole situation with cuz class and he didn’t have to sit down with them but he wanted to. Class Act!!
    I would LOVE to see him as The Bachelor of he doesn’t find love on Paradise.
    The one thing I do not agree with is that Kristan staying on the beach, I think that Demi and her should leave the beach together. She is not part of Bachelor nation so that is the only negative thing I have to say.

    1. It definitely looks self-serving on Demi’s part to stay. I get why producers want her there. And, I get her ambitions and career goals – but wouldn’t she have had almost as much of a platiform if she Left!??

      I g u e s s the big reason it might be OK is she was only a few weeks in with Derek??But I gotta say her sticking around with a gf will only slow his recovery. It’s really unhealthy.

    2. She’s being true to herself and hurt an awesome guy (used) him to figure out who she is , not right , she should have done this not in Paradise , and the way she behaved on the Bachelor with Colton!!!!

      1. Colton seems so long ago.

        I get little weirded out by that. Hannah seems not that recent too. Can I blame my smart phone for this??

  3. I’m so happy for Demi and her journey of self discovery and her budding relationship with Kristian. The only thing I was confused about is why they decided to stay on the show. It just doesn’t seem like it’s what paradise is about. It’s not about meeting someone at home and then bringing that person to the beach and getting a free vacation. It’s meeting someone there and getting to know them in this unique experience. I just feel like it’s odd that they would want to stay there and in some ways flaunt their love in front of Derek and kind of ruin his time in paradise. I’m sooo supportive of them and their love and commitment and I’m happy for both of them. I just think it’s kind of changing what the show is about and tainting Derek’s time there when he does want to find love there.

    1. I completely agree. I think the main reason is that ABC wants to take this opportunity to promote a gay relationship when they’ve been criticized before for being too cookie-cutter. I can respect that. I just feel badly for Derek.

  4. I cried so much this episode as well!!! Cried for Demi, I can’t imagine how hard this has been for her and hope now she can focus on Kristian. They are very cute together!!

    But I was also crying for Derek. He seems like such a genuine and kind guy. It is going to be so hard for him to watch Demi pursuing her relationship.

    I am totally on board with Derek at the next bachelor!!! He deserves to find a great lady!!!!

    1. Derek is the Most Deserving E v e r.

      And yeah D&K are so appealing together – but w h y would you want to stay ?? Its like having a honeymoon with a bunch of buddies . No thanks.

  5. I love love love demi. Side note you look like you could be her big sister!
    I love demi and Kristian I feel like there connection is real and genuine. However I feel like since she knew the moment she walked in it was her then they should.of went home, only because she isnt bachelor nation and to be fair to derek. I think showing that connection and bringing her girlfriend was the right thing but since she didn’t have anything to figure out anymore that they should of left.
    But I loved theepisode. I’d honestly love to see derek be the bachelor. Wasn’t really ever a fan of Mike.

  6. I think the show is portraying Demi as the bad dumb annoYing girl. Every season has one. In reality I can tell Demi just is finding herself. I wish more people would give her a chance.

    1. She’s the star of the show.

      America loves her ( for now anyway).

      If your post is a joke, I.wish I found it funnier.

  7. Girlfriend or boyfriend back home doesn’t matter it’s the fact that she went on the show already having feelings for someone else and then getting feelings for Derek. And when the producers brought her gf she ended it with Derek. She shouldn’t have gone to Paradise to begin with.

    1. I agree she shouldn’t have gone on the show if she had a relationship with someone back home!
      Now you have broken Derek’s heart and just played with his emotions! Just unnecessary! She and her girl should leave the beach! Staying there is just rubbing that all in Dereks face and it isn’t cool!

      1. on the podcast Demi says they weren’t exclusive.
        Not a peep abt Derek having to watch it continue – b/c R&A n e v e r asked.

    2. I think the whole Demi storyline is ridiculous. The whole thing was planned from the get go. She was not surprised to see Kristian. Very good acting on her part. I think the show wanted to have it go in this direction and planned it to show diversity. I have read on social media that supposedly this is not Demi’s first time with a woman and was with someone before she appeared on Bachelor. She should have never gone on either show if this is the case. The person you should have had on the podcast was Derek. Enough of the “wonderful” Demi show. We have to watch this play out on the remainder of the episodes and see them all over each other in front of Derek. I have nothing against gay couples whatsoever but this show is called Bachelor in Paradise. If they ABC wants to go in a different direction then do a show on same sex couples finding love.

      1. Hey MG – I disagree abt Demi acting. I foind Kristian very credible and resonant too. Just posting to say how insulting it is to viewers and castmates to hear Nothing from Derek’s friends there about the Super Akwardness.
        The little I’ve gleaned of Derek making any comments have been in support of Demi – which is cool and genuine enough, I ammsure

  8. I loved this episode so so much. I have loved
    Demi from the moment we met her on Colton’s season, and her bravery now just makes me admire her so much more. Watching Derek was truly heartbreaking, but Demi was true to herself and so gracious in the way she communicated and handled the situation. I agree with production allowing/asking/whatever happened that made it happen for Kristian to stay in paradise because we as viewers are emotionally invested in these relationships and I think it’s fair that we get to see the whole story.

  9. Too much focus on Demi and her girlfriend, that’s her choice ok, however once the girlfriend arrived they should have left Paridise , I felt so bad for Derek! Remember how crazzeee , nean Demi was on the Bachelorwith Colton, OMG

  10. Totally felt awful for Derek, like my heart broke while my heart was exploding with joy for Demi! Derek for bachelor!!!!

  11. I am loving that everyone is talking about Derek for bachelor now! I have loved him since JoJo’s season and then when Taylor and him were together and he just seems like the sweetest most real guy ever. Totally would love to see him find love!

    1. Am I misreading Ali’s comment:
      *i’m guessing they cut Kristian visiting from the Chris Harrison conversation because they didn’t want to give away that she could be coming* ?

      This makes no sense to me – the show gave away the same sex relationship in previews early on (the groin to groin make out sesh)..

    2. Derek was Amazing with Taylor.

      He’s got some complex ladies in his lane.

      I loved Every Single Word/Tear/Glance from him tonight

  12. Just watched your Instagram story… completely forgot about Ashley I’s sister when she was on it! You’re right, who cares!

  13. I love the direction the show is going in… everyone who judges just needs to deal. You love who you love. And Derek for Bachelor FOR SURE. Tonight we saw how amazing he truly is and my heart absolutely broke for him.

  14. While I applaud someone being open and honest while trying to figure out their sexuality, this was just too set up for my liking.

    My dislike for Demi has more to do with her rude comments, especially the one to Tanner, than anything else.

    I do hope that Derek is the next bachelor.

    1. Yes, twittering Tanner that she could school him lessons in oral sex was remarkably off. His reply back pretty winning – it also highlighted the difference in maturity levels between the two.

      I agree about the set u being unusally forced – but the three of them were so beautifully expressive that I am simply grateful to have been given access to their hearts.

      That Demi is on board with having Derek be subjected to her affair on the island ribs me the wrong way

      1. Agree with this!! I felt like it was different than how others have to watch the person they were with go on dates… if Demi and her girlfriend already had that history, he was kind of thrown into watching them be together, even though she gave him hope in their relationship. I do appreciate that she expressed her confusion with everything early on to Derek, but it really should have been something expressed to him right away. He showed a lot of wonderful qualities though in his support of them and I really hope he’s the next Bachelor! He would definitely deserve it!

        1. Have you caught the Ali Rachel podcast w Demi yet?
          I just heard it today – one thing that really stood out: No One Asked Demi abt having Derek endure Kristain’s stay.

          The fact that was left out feels pretty major. Like ABC is really calling the shots ( or R and A don’t want to rock that boat). But: It’s Demi – s u r e l y she could have handled the question. And probably boosted Derek chances -happily- at Bach, too!

          1. There was so much they didn’t ask her. Why not ask about her ex girlfriend? I feel it’s very ABC driven

    2. I agree about Demi’s rudeness. Some of the comments she makes about fellow ‘cast mates’ are basically making fun of them and as a parent and grandparent, this is something we teach our kids NOT to do. I hate to see her portrayed as such a strong brave ‘role model’ for young women when she has to tear others down. The comments about Annalise in the earlier episodes were uncalled for and just makes her look catty to me. Maybe it’s all for the show, who knows any more???

  15. While yes Ashley I’s sister went to paradise she wasn’t there to date anyone. She went to hang out and support Ashley. They were also a package deal when handing out roses.

    I think Demi can date whoever she chooses and she should be able to find love but I don’t think the show was fair with how they handled it and I feel like the show only did it for the ratings. Others would have been asked to leave if they said they were conflicted because or an outside bf/gf. Maybe the show should allow other outsiders who haven’t been on the bachelor or bachelorette to come to paradise. Might be more interesting. It’ll be interesting to see how the rest of the season plays out.

    1. For a minute there I thought I should go in the show. What the Hell, right??

      Didnt love Ashely having her sis there either. It just throws things off. Also: how.much fun is it for Kristian?? Everyone knows everyone. D e r e k is there – not the easiest reminder…

      It’s such a monumental moment – but these details – v e r y real details – are unsettling.

    2. I agree. Nothing on these shows is out of the blue or unplanned. Somehow I believe that Demi and Derek were told by producers what to do and why they were being brought on the show. Of course they did it for the ratings. Realistically Demi said she is fluid so she isn’t gay or straight. She is attracted to both sexes. Bringing Kristian on was not a fluke the producers did that to have this relationship be on tv because something like this can really only happen on paradise. Demi can love whomever she wants that is her choice and her right. She should have just left with Kristian after realizing she was wanting to only be with her. Kristian is not part of the bachelor nation. How will the Rose ceremonies be? Will Demi just give a rose every week to Kristian? Also the fact they got a 1 on 1 date just bugged me when others on the beach in relationships haven’t even had a date. Anyways happy for demi but she should have just gone home after Kristian arrived. It’s just going to be all about them the rest of the season. That’s my two cents.

      1. It seems like Kristian packed her suitcases knowing she would stay (but forgot her sunscreen !) and laid out her schedule anticipating a stay.

        It’d be weird for D and K to Rose each other week after week. maybe they do depart a few weeks out…

  16. This episode really made me feel all the feels, awkward, happy, joy, anger, so manny more too!! This show is all about LOVE so how could they not celebrate it when it so clearly seems Demi has found that with K. Demi has been a complete gem to watch and her sexuality has not changed my opinion about her one bit! She seems as genuine as they come and I truly believe she is helping so many young boys and girls who struggle with same gender attraction and coming out!!
    I am very curious to see how this changes the history of the show… will we no longer see “men vs women” week to hand out roses? I am curious to see how that will work with a girl couple!

  17. I can only imagine how difficult this was for Demi and the criticism she is going to face. It wasn’t said but I don’t think is Kristian’s first relationship with another women like it is for Demi which to makes it understandable about Demi coming to BIP. She was not only wanting clarity about another person but a major life choice. I agree with most others that when that decision was made they should have left BIP. Kristian has no affiliation to Bachelor nation and it had to be an awkward situation for her and Derek both. I really like Derek and was sad when his relationship ended with Talor, I really they would be another BIP forever couple. His actions showed what a really nice guy he is and think he would be a great Bachelor. I am hoping he finds his forever.

    1. I had high hopes for.the Taylor Derek relationship, too. I wish we knew more about what ended it. Maybe Ali will get to ask him.

  18. I love Demi!! She is so brave and hopefully this will help so many others to have that courage to just be who they are freely and openly. I just cannot wrap my head around why anyone would have a problem with two people loving one another. Love is a beautiful thing!!❤️

    1. I too cried. I could feel the emotion when Demi saw Kristian. Coming out of hard enough let alone doing it in front of a national audience. Brave doesn’t even begin to describe her. I really hope they can make it in this crazy world we live in. I think Derick is a truly spectacular person. What a stand up guy. He deserves to find his great love. I also teared up a bit for Katie. I know self sabatoge all well and it’s a struggle for so many women. And lastly, Kristina is ruining my paradise experience! Lol I have always loved her but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to come
      Back from this attitude she has. Bitch doesn’t really look good on her. As far as the bachelor goes, I’d be happy with mike or Derrick!

      1. I don’t think she will face much criticism. BN is behind her, her parents were great, she has her girl, and her friends are supportive. I don’t think she’s the type to care what random trolls who are strangers to her say online, so I don’t get why she was acting scared (unless she was worried about instagram sponsors).

        Most people would be more afraid to say (and be judged more harshly) for having a parent who did hard time, and even that she handled with grace and was supported for (especially since it wasn’t her fault). The show has shown her positively, she is surrounded by family and friends and fans who adore her… don’t get the fear or worry here.

        1. Interesting point, Happy Girl.

          Clearly ppl around Demi knew abt her fluid status. On the podcast it is revealed that Krisitan is a roommate to a Bach alum. So: this relationship was in the Bach pipeline, and Demi was aware that many insiders in Bach World were aware – and seemingly accepting.

          Another thing she revealed on the R&A podcast is no one in her extended family had ever come *out* -so going public was major for her.

  19. I think once Kristin showed up and Demi said she knew that she wanted Kristin they should of left the show. Wasn’t fair to Derek to watch their romance bloom in front of him on the show.

    1. I can support Demi and Kristian’s relationship. However, I think they should have left BIP because of hurting Derek any further. It’s just not right! My second however is showy them completely making out with tongue and all. Very distasteful!!!

      1. It’s like.the cast has been told the more tongue they show the more air time they will get.
        Wr haven’t had this before – why, right??

  20. I am excited to see Demi pursue what will truly make her happy. But can we talk about Derek…I was totally Team Mike for the next Bachelor ( though Peter would be great to watch too, I just think Mike is more mature), now I’m thinking we need to see Derek find his person. I was so, so impressed with how he handled the situation, and I found myself crying for him. Now I’m torn on my next Bachelor pick!!
    Can’t wait to hear Demi on the podcast tomorrow!

    1. The Derek time we got was great – but I would have l.o v e d hearing castmates talking with him about how he was dealing.

      Also: was no one freaked out that Demi was staying on the Island with her gf, essentially subjecting Derek to more grief??!!

  21. Other Stand Out Moments:

    Nicole performing her to Clay.- but did he love it??

    Demi not knowing who Nelson Mandela is.

    Katie coming clean and comitting, yet Chris still feeling sore..

  22. Can Derek PLEASE be the next bachelor???? He deserves to find LOVE!!!! The way he treated Demi was the most compassionate I’ve ever seen a man. He really is a special soul.

  23. Don’t think she should have went on show. It’s a double standard. She had feelings back home for somebody boy or girl it doesn’t matter. Such a dumb story line .

    1. Undeniable logic there. Lauren – but:
      It’s Demi – and Demi is Exceptional.

      I wonder how this will look down the line. I’m still weirded out that no cast interviews or hangout chats showed concern abt Current Relationships Outside Paradise & Staying On The Island. It was wonderful to see everyone’s joy for Demi – but we know Derek is well-liked…it is warped to not be shown castmates interest in him. In that way ot felt like a school assembly where students were basically shut down.

    2. Totally agree. I don’t think she is brave. I don’t think she is exceptional. I think she is a mean girl and boring who lied for a storyline.

      1. Yes! It is amazing to me how many people are writing that she is so wonderful. She has been the mean girl and producers have given her a disproportionate amount of screen time to exploit this whole storyline for ratings. So fake

  24. I feel bad… in my last comment on part one of BP I did make the comment that Derek was perhaps being strung along. This blogpost made me feel bad for saying that.
    I am sorry if I hurt Demi or anyone else with that comment, truly…

    I think we can all agree that we want Demi, and others, to feel safe, loved, and not judged!

    All that to say- I hope everyone can find the love they are suppose to find in this life, be happy, be healthy, and hopefully the rest of this season is less drama filled and more love filled! <3

  25. I’m happy for Demi and Kristian but I don’t think it’s fair that they got to stay. They found love and Kristian is not from bachelor nation so they should go home and have their relationship. It’s a huge double standard because Demi criticized Hannah for being conflicted between Dylan and Blake and she did the same thing to poor Derick. He doesn’t deserve to sit there and watch that. The show would never do this if she had a guy at home she was deciding between. I’m all happy for her love but just think it’s completely unfair to everyone else involved and truly it’s left a terrible taste in my mouth. I also feel like the show exploited her for ratings and that’s just sad.

  26. It’s too bad Demi is being attacked because it’s very brave and courageous of her to do what she did on such a huge stage. However, I do believe the producers were not thinking this one through and opened a can of worms. They should not have allowed Demi and Kristian to stay together on the island. Demi now has clarity and knows who she wants to be with…Awesome! But allowing a previous love interest to continue on a show when that person is not part of Bachelor nation allows this to happen across all shows. They cannot NOT allow it to happen now because of this. I know why they did it, but like I said they didn’t think it all the way through. So if anyone is being attacked it should be the producers and whoever made this decision to let them stay. I think they could have showed them seeing each other, talking…etc and then let them leave together. The staying on the island part made no sense at all and has left everyone very confused! It allows the Jed’s of this world to do exactly what he did but take it one step further. The difference with Demi is she was honest. And I think she’s adorable and I wish her all the best!!

  27. I am all for Demi finding love whether that is with a male or female. But I do find it very contradicting that she gets to stay on the show. Anyone else who wants to pursue something that is back home leaves to pursue it. So I believe she is being favored. And I think it’s because society would flip if producers sent her home bc she liked a women. That’s not what it’s about. It’s not that we don’t support lgbtq it’s that anyone else would have to leave in this situation. Why does she get to stay? Ali I have read your blogs for years, but I knew your blogs would change with this podcast and not that that is a bad thing. But they’ve changed because now you are meeting these people and you speak with more an emotional side because you know them and see them instead of a logical side. I was always connected to you because you blogged just like an outsider. I don’t know them personally and neither did you. But now you do. Again, I’m a supporter of Demi finding love no matter who it is with. But if it is not someone that is cast for bachelor in paradise then she should have gone home. Just like Oneka she didn’t feel anyone there was right for her so she went home. You are too wrapped up in this is a first to realize that it doesn’t matter the bachelor gave her a platform to stand on that no one else gets.

    1. This. Non-bachelor nation people popping on to the show was always lame. You don’t need to be on tv for that. I fast forwarded through most of the episode last night. It just wasn’t related to the point of the show (a second chance with other Bachelor contestants).

      1. Kristian held her own, I thought.
        I don’t recall any other *outsiders* doing so. It also dawns in me that the show vetted her tv-ability. Which makes sense, but Stinks
        What would they have done if she was not considered tv attractive and able to speak on camera ?

    2. Hi Emily – The ABC sanctioned podcast does seem to dilute the objectivity of Rachel and Ali. I mean, for a former prosecuter to NOT ask Demi abt Staying On is c r a z y.
      It makes total sense that meeting/befriending cast would alter Ali’s view of them, too. IRL castmates are *only human* – it would have to affect any bloggers viewpoint.

      All this feels sad to me – like we have lost a part of Ali’s voice.

      I don’t want an insider only. I want an insider/outsider.

      Thanks for posting.

  28. I didn’t see an issue with how Kristina handled Caitlin. When a girl asks to talk to you privately like that, and questions your motives – that’s already her kind of coming at her. Like clearly Caitlin already went into it annoyed af w Kristina and Kristina knew that. She just answered her questions and when Caitlin didn’t approve or like the answers, that’s when Kristina started to be more assertive for herself. I think Caitlyn and Caelyn were the mean girls of the night.

    1. Totally agree! Caelyn has been bad-mouthing Kristina the entire time…even referring to her as a “b*tch” when Kristina went off to talk to Dean upon his arrival. Her actions make me wonder what really happened between her and Hannah B. even more.

  29. Can we just take a second and realize how amazing of a man Derek is. I hope one day he finds love because he truly deserves it.

    Ali, Could he be the next bachelor?

  30. If Demi has made her decision she should be sent home, not the center of attention. The others are trying to find live connections and its a distraction and so disrespectful to Dereck

  31. Watched the episode, and Caitlin is ridiculous. If Blake likes her (he doesn’t, he said he still prefers Hannah G), he’d give her the rose and that’s that. She doesn’t need to complain to Kristina and tell her to NOT accept a friendship rose (or ask for one, or any version of that) from Blake. That is just HER scared of not being able to stay, and trying to get Kristina to leave the show instead so Caitlin can have some time on BIP, and that’s not how this works. I get that Caitlin wants more air time and instagram followers and sponsorships off the show, but there is nothing between her and Blake and if the guy you are interested in puts his friend first, he doesn’t really like you. It’s NOTHING for Blake to say to Kristina “Hey, I like this girl so I’m going to see how that works out… if it doesn’t, you got my rose” but he didn’t, because as he said in his ITM interviews, he’s not that into Caitlin… she isn’t his first choice by a lot.

    Caitlin and Caelynn commiserating over Kristina’s relationship with Blake- hahaha! I know Caelynn wishes Blake DIDN’T hook up with Kristina the day before her, and wishes Kristina hated Blake as much as she does, and wishes he never got a rose and was off BIP, but targeting Kristina for her hate now is weird.

    I’m not a fan of the whole Demi bringing in her other person onto the show thing, because I was NEVER a fan of people who aren’t part of Bachelor Nation coming on (Ashley I. bringing her sister on in a past season was annoying, and times they brought “super fans” into bachelor pad was annoying too) so I just don’t have positive feelings about this. Demi should have left the show with her outside-bachelor girlfriend and continued there, instead of this stunt for ratings/instagram followers/etc. I’m happy she found love, but just NOT interested in seeing regular people added into the mix that have no history on the show just to make a statement. Others LEFT the show when they person they realized they loved was elsewhere.

    1. Also they got a 1 on 1 date where others haven’t even had a date. I didn’t like that! Super unfair. Good for them they found love together again but go home to build on it!

      1. Derek and Kristian are both unusually supportive people/partners.

        I.guess Demi is irresistible – IRL and certainly on my tv, flaws and all.

        And yeah. Super unfair as you say, Amie.

  32. I feel the whole Demi and her girlfriend thing was prearranged. Several people from Bachelor Nation have spoke out saying this was going to happen, so I believe it. Regardless, I don’t think she should have gone on being in a relationship confused or not. It hurts whoever she is hooking up, in this case Derek, who is amazing. I also think she should have left once she decided to stay with her girlfriend. I also think non Bachelor people should not be allowed, it is silly and boring. But I think this season stinks. I find Demi to be a mean girl – when she was on The Bachelor, this season, on a twitter to Tanner, shall I go on. I am also a little confused about how Demi is breaking the mold for people and a saving people’s lives. This isn’t her first relationship with a woman. She was in a relationship with prior to being on The Bachelor. I feel she came on the show and came out, acting like she was in her first relationship with a woman and confused – which is untrue. Many untruths are being told when many people struggle with their sexuality. I feel this has been made into a circus with a lot of untruths.

    1. Omg I can not agree more! First of all, Demi is such a mean girl and literally just makes fun of people on the beach all day long and somehow now we are “so proud” of her for being BRAVE to be in a relationship with a woman? How does that make it okay? It’s like she can get away with anything she wants and say and do anything she wants and it’s all okay because she’s in love with a woman. Guess what, NO ONE CARES YOU LOVE A WOMAN. Second of all, it was 100% planned by producers to bring her girlfriend on the show and blow it up. Demi knew she was in love with this girl before going on the show…so why go and lead Derek on? It’s so fake to me. And also::: WHY in the world would the two of them stay in paradise because it’s such a PERFECT place to fall and love and get to know each other! Yeah it sure is cuz you’re on freaking vacation on a beach away from the real world! No need to stay…you both clearly want to be with each other and go back to LA to work things out…

      Also: how is it okay that Demi had someone back home that was CLEARLY a serious relationship? But yet if any other guy or girl
      Did that…Chris Harrison surely would not be contacting them to bring them on paradise so they can figure things out. This show has such double standards anymore and I’m really starting to get annoyed with it.

      A disappointed bachelor fan….

    2. Hey Jamie – when you say *several ppl from Bachelor Nation have spoken out that rhis was going to happen* do you mean viewers alums, or spoilers like Reality Steve ?
      If you can elaborate please do – I can only follow so much on social – any intell shares wohkd be appreciated.

  33. The episode frustrated me! I am OK with Demi and her sexuality, but the rules should stand for all. She had relationship before coming on the show. I also am not happy that the producers lets someone on the show who is not in the Bachelor family. JUST WEIRD

  34. God does give us a free will, and you choose who you want to be, BUT a sin is a sin, and what Demi is doing is a sin, and there are consequences. Yes, as people we are to love one another but not to love & accept their sin. God hates the sin and it separated you from Him. And He does love Demi, but God did not create women to be with women and men with men. As soon as I saw that Chris talked to Demi, I knew he was bringing in that other girl and I changed the channel. Don’t approve of what Demi does and will NOT accept it either. I am sure Demi is a wonderful person and she is beautiful, but what she is doing is not right! I love God too much to even go against Him. I pray for everyone that does not know the truth to open your eyes and maybe start reading the Bible, cause that’s Truth and this world is beginning to get so corrupted with so much sin and everyone is okay with it. Well it’s not okay!! The bible talks about Hell & Heaven and not everyone is going to Heaven like they think, We are at the end days when Christ will return and if we are not ready our destination will not be heaven. Think about your children, wouldn’t you want the best for them? Well that is how God feels about his human creation. He does not want anyone to perish, but like I said, He has given us a free will. God will not force you to accept Him as your Lord & Savior. You either accept God’s promises or you choose to go against all His promises and at the end, are in a place of torture. Start focusing on God and all the good things He has for each and everyone of us. God does not bring anything bad into our lives, we do it ourselves, because of the sins we commit. I am so disappointed even at you Ali that to you it’s okay, and that is so sad.

    1. Thank you for speaking truth. Sadly, we are living in a time when sin is not only accepted by many, but it is celebrated. This is disappointing, but not a surprise. The Bible speaks of times when people did what was right in their own minds. And judgment followed.

  35. What are your thoughts on people saying that Demi has already dated women in the past?? Reality Steve confirmed it, and there is photo evidence of it. So she’s deceiving everyone by saying she’s “figuring herself out.” It just seems like this whole scenario with Demi and the girlfriend was pre-planned and set up. And now her girlfriend gets to stay for a free vacation and s free engagement ring? I’m not into it. I’d much rather see screen time from the rest of the cast! Also…Derek for bachelor! He deserves it after getting caught up in this fake storyline.

    1. I’m so glad someone brought this up, thank you Amanda! Reality Steve (among many others) have confirmed that this whole thing WAS pre-planned and that she had a serious ex gf in the past (the ex was very public about their relationship on Instagram).

      The only thing Demi CAN do is deny it…otherwise both she and the show come off as phony!

      1. And yessss why should they get a Neil Lane ring?! I want one! Lol…. not hating on them but come on totally staged and her Derek was in on it too. Had to be!

      2. Insane the things Demi Wasn’t asked!!!
        Major disappointment in the R/A podcast. Won’t take it seriously going forward

  36. After all of this that has happened so far, I think I have actually changed from wanting Pete being the bachelor, to Derek. He just seems to be such a great guy. And so deserving of love. It was nice to see another side of him after his last time on Paradise with Taylor. Demi’s fun loving nature brought out a side of him that we didn’t see last time. Go Derek!!

  37. It was revealed that this isn’t Demi’s first same-sex relationship, so the path that they chose to go with the whole “she’s exploring her sexuality” is really unfair and untrue. I also have to wonder this: what if it was DEREK who had a relationship back home that he was confused about and they brought HIS girlfriend to Paradise so he could ‘figure it out’? We’d think he was a monster for that. To me, this isn’t much different than Hannah B kicking off that guy on night one because Demi ‘heard’ he had a girlfriend back home, or even Jed having a relationship going into the season. She still strung Derek along for a time with self-serving intentions.

    1. Y e s, Erica!
      When is the whole Demi sleuthing a extracurricular relationship on HBs Season, adm HB endorsing Demi’s extra relationship, on BIP going to bite Fleiss & Co on the ass???
      W h e n !!??

  38. I read every week (multiple times a week☺️) and respect your opinion but I completely disagree about the Demi situation. If she made the decision to choose Kristian why didn’t they both go home? Kristian isn’t a part of the show and if someone else decided they had feelings for someone back home they certainly wouldn’t be allowed to bring them on the show. I truly believe this is being “allowed” to show that the show supports their relationship, but they can support without giving special treatment. It just seems very unfair to me.

  39. I really enjoyed last nights episode. However, I agree with other peoples thoughts and feelings about Demi and Kristian staying. It’s not fair to Derek, or the other cast members, or the viewers. I am proud of Demi for staying true to who she is, but I feel like that after the celebration in paradise and they should have left together. I truly feel like they were kept on the show to show that the bachelor franchise is evolving. However, since Demi said that Kristian was the “one” and she “knew” I don’t see the point in them continuing their journey there. Also, I don’t feel like having Ashley I’s sister on is even the same scenario. Apples to oranges.

  40. I agree Ali on your thoughts about Derek possibly being a contender for the Bachelor now! I actually said it outloud (although i was watching it by myself – ha) during the episode! I wouldn’t be opposed to it although overall im still team Peter!

  41. I’m tearing up just reading your blog… The Demi/Kristian relationship had me in tears. I am so happy for Demi. And I LOVE Derek. He is now my number one choice for Bachelor!!! He would be a great Bachelor. He is mature, sweet, kind, smart, and so good looking.

    I agree with you about Kristina. She is better than this. I am surprised at what I am seeing…

    1. I agree , after the unnecessary Hell Demi put Derek through he should be the next BACHELOR !!! And check the woman our make sure no Demi’s apply !!!!

      1. I’m pretty sure there is Only One Demi, Chrissy!! I hope the Derek thing hasn’t peeked too early and some other horse nudges across the finish line – he is So deserving!

  42. So… this scenerio is so two sided for me. I love that she found a way to find her true self and was brave to come out…. however… I feel awful for Derek! I feel like how huge what’s happening is, overshadows how screwed he got. He had invested three weeks into just Demi- he didn’t explore anything else thinking she could be it for him. And after things not working for him with Taylor, he came back to try again and basically he just got screwed. Now, I think it’s possibly too late in the game for him to find someone and wouldn’t be shocked if he goes home because he can’t see her with Kristian. I just hate how this ended for him. And now, I’m actually all for Derek for bachelor!!!

  43. Honestly bachelor in Paradise is NOT the place to figure out your sexuality !! As soon as she made her decision to be with the girl they should have left Paradise ! There’s no reason for her and the girlfriend to stay , give them a trip away from Paradise, Also in so disappointed with Demi and how she used and hurt Derek !! That was just wrong , he’s an awesome guy and feel he should be the next Bachelor, until next week, hopefully it won’t be another Demi show , I don’t want to see it

  44. Ali I’m usually right there with you on your opinions, but this week I just can’t. You can say it’s apples and oranges but it’s really not. We either want equality or we don’t and I’m sorry she shouldn’t get a free pass just because it’s emotionally difficult and it’s a same sex relationship. She figured things out at the expense of Derek’s emotions and that’s not fair at all. If she needed to figure things out she should have stayed home and even taken a break from Kristian to do so. She shouldn’t have left and pursued a man who had no idea what was going on. If she would have told Derek from the beginning (not 2 weeks later!) I could have been on board.

  45. I feel Demi should not have gone on the show. She apparently is bisexual. She was in a same sex relationship so why explore a heterosexual relationship. I find it too bizarre.

  46. After this episode I am totally on board for Derek to be the next bachelor!! I thought it would be Mike but they aren’t giving him much screen time at all so now I’m now sure.

  47. This episode strongly solidified my dislike for Demi! I have never been a fan of her from the beginning and this episode really solidified that!
    I do want to start by saying i applaud her coming out, choosing love, and following her heart. I strongly believe that love is love and she should be with whoever she wants to be regardless if its a man or a woman! I can’t even imagine how difficult that must have been and she was incredibly brave to do it on national television!
    I also think that Demi is incredibly selfish and doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings! She really shouldn’t have come one the show and led Derek ok, made him think like he stood a chance if her heart was else where! It is absolutely not said to Derek nor to Kristian. I am tired of Demi getting her 15 minutes of fame and camera time for being such a selfish person!

  48. Watching Kristina trying to hold Blake’s hand made me cringe. I felt so embarrassed for her! He clearly isn’t into her and although she is calling it the “friendship rose” I think she truly wants more. I thought it from when she asked him on the date and was visibly disappointed when he spoke about their friendship. It seems as if she would be happy to take whatever she can get with him 🙁

    As for the whole Demi storyline, yes it is great that she has come out and she should be supported. But if she has already chosen Kristen then why are they staying on the island? The whole things seems to be incredibly staged and does not seem genuine – Hannah going to Mexico to talk to her, the talk with Chris Harrison etc. It has been given an incredibly large amount of screen time and it is enough already. I am so done with it.

  49. I am so proud of Demi! While her portion of the show was my favorite, my second favorite was the small bit we saw of Nicole and Clay!! I think they are just absolutely adorable! And her little song she wrote and sang for him as so cute and how he reacted just melted my heart. I really hope they make it and are engaged at the end of this. I feel like their personalities really mesh.

  50. I whole heartedly feel that Demi went on BIP for more fame. She knew just how much she was into Christian before going on the show. If a man or woman did that with the opposite sex they would be ridiculed, but because she’s doing it with a same sex person- she’s brave. She could of stayed of BIP and lived happily ever after with Christian without breaking Derek’s heart.

  51. Omg …..I’m so tired of seeing the focus on Demi. It’s enough already. I watch this show to see people genuinely connecting and the dynamics around it. The whole Demi thing seems totally fake – she is just trying to maximize her 15 minutes of fame. Her staying on the island after she made her choice is ridiculous.
    I want to see more fun moments like Nicole’s song, JPJ and Tayshia’s interactions, and other spontaneous moments. It just seems that after each commercial they spend so much time recapping the same issues over and over.
    Love the concept of the show, just wish they would fire some of the tired producers and get in fresh talent who can make a reality show interesting and genuine.

    1. Good point abt all the rehash time and double rolling of footage. A slightly shorter show – OR a longer run w freah coverage – would be So Welcome.

      It’s ABCs #1 show, right? We deservea bit better, Christina! ( the JPJ moments have been my Fave, loved Nicole’s goofball song too)

  52. I really don’t see how what Demi did was any different than someone else going on the show with someone back home. I get that she’s figuring herself out, but i don’t think it’s a coincidence that this is all happening on tv instead of her staying home and pursuing her relationship with Kristian off camera. They seem super in love tho. I think it was all pre planned but I don’t think she was trying to hurt Derek or anything.

  53. Hi Ali! First time commenter here! 🙋‍♀️Love your blog and posts! Had to comment on this one. My issue with Demi and Kristian staying on the show is that if she (or a guy) had a significant other back home that they decided to be with, I think ABC/Bachelor Producers would just have them leave to be happily ever after. Thoughts? Seems like the only reason Demi and Kristian are being allowed to stay is because they are gay and the network wants to show diversity and inclusion of all. Having them stay doesn’t seem to equal “sexual equality” though does it? Like if Demi decided to be with a guy back home, I don’t think we would see Their happy ending play out in paradise. They’d go home and live their life. Im happy for them and I think Demi seems so genuine and brave. But if they’ve found their “person”, why stay on?

  54. So I get that Demi is a brave woman for doing this, my point is WHY did she have to hurt someone as awesome as Derek ????? Unacceptable !! and she literally threw herself and made a soectical of herself with Colton on the Bachelir, she’s really messed up , I would advise her to go into therapy

  55. 1. I was so disappointed in Kristina’s behavior tonight and have been honestly since she came on paradise this season. She has seemed so vindictive and manipulative… I hate it.
    2. I love Demi. I love her strength and courage and am so happy for her BUT with that said – I disagree – gay or Straight or sideways or anything in between – there was a HUGE double standard with her not only dating someone when she came on but talking about it, bringing that person on, everything. That to me is so disappointing. The fact that Hannah B. Of all people could come on inquiring about the person she was dating when she came into this show all seemed some sick irony seeing she just ended an engagement for the same reason…you say it’s different but kristians feelings didn’t seem to think so… that was wrong and such a double standard in my opinion

    1. It is asking a Shit Ton of Derek AND Kristian – and Bach Nation. Having Hannah condone it – without teasing out the differences – is a little queasy making. And seems to point to Hannah’s great need – and possible fear of – suiting ABC. I mean how f**king rich to be asked to do That!!

      As far as keeping Demi on air: the other option could have been remote footage updates of K and D back in LA.n

      I do *hear* Demi when she speaks abt what a special set-up Paradise is – that things get spoken about that don’t IRL – but it’d be cooler if they had their own private paradise, imo.

  56. I have to say I usually agree with 95% of what you say but tonight I don’t. I agree Kristina is coming across as mean and harsh but I will say I do feel that it was Kaitlin’s business about the rose. ONLY because She was interested in Blake and Kristina was wrong to try and get in the way of him finding someone. She already wasted a date card that ppl desperately want.
    As far as Demi I 💯 support her and I understand her confused feelings. But I also feel after she showed up they should have left together. For the main reason that it’s bachelor nation. And because of dereck. Why hurt him anymore. I know Demi didn’t mean too but he was a casualty. But I always love reading what you write Ali 🙂

  57. I loved your happy hour podcast with Demi! She is fearless, courageous, and speaks from the heart! Thank you and Rachel for having her on! I, like all three of you were bawling my eyes out! Wow!
    Derek for bachelor! He handled himself with grace, dignity, and most importantly respect for Demi. Albeit, he was heartbroken what a genuine, loving mature guy!
    I have watched you from your days on the bachelorette, and continue to watch you every day on your insta stories! Love your family! You are doing this “life” great! Keep up the great work!

  58. Here are my thoughts, I disagree that it’s comparing apples and oranges. I think ABC is jumping on the opportunity to show a same sex relationship. If this was a heterosexual relationship that Demi had back home it would have been portrayed in a completely different light. I feel it was wrong for her to come on the show when she had feelings for someone (male or female) at home. I think Producers knew about Kristian from the get go and were always planning to bring her on the show in some shape or form. I don’t like that they are staying on the show. And again I feel like if it had been a man that showed up for Demi from home they would have been going home 100%.

  59. I’m glad Demi made up her mind but I feel horrible for Derek. I don’t think they should be staying on bachelor in paradise to be together. This season has kinda lost my interest. It’s really unfair for Derek to have to watch that. He should definitely be the next Bachelor! Love him!

  60. I was pretty sure that Demi has publicly dated other women before, so I was confused as to why this was supposed to be all new. I’m happy for her, but am confused as to why they are letting them stay on the show. In my opinion, I’m fine with Kristian coming, but why didn’t they leave and start trying to figure out their feelings since Kristian was never a part of the Bachelor franchise. Just seems like it’s all a dishonest marketing ploy to me. I truly hope everyone is happy and I’m glad for them, just a few of the pieces seem odd.

  61. “This poor girl in her early 20s is putting her life out there for the world to judge.” Incorrect. Demi is not a victim here. She knows this is going to play out on national television. How about this BRAVE girl in her early 20s is putting her life out there for the world to judge?

  62. Derek for Bachelor!!! My original choice was Peter and I still think he’d make a great choice. But after seeing how amazingly selfless and mature Derek was with the Demi situation, I feel like I need to see him find someone. He’s also a bit older which would be great for a change! I prefer seasons where the Bachelor is in his 30s, and the girls are a bit older. It just feels like it has a better chance of working.

    1. I really don’t care who Demi loves, but I think it is ruthless that they flaunt the relationship in front of Derrick, that is just mean. As with everyone else said, they should have left to purse their relationship, but with that being said, I feel this season is the Demi show. She sure has had a lot of camera time. Don’t get me wrong, I like her but she gets interviewed the most and almost seems like a 2 nd host. I feel like I hardly get to see the other relationships grow or burn. For example, clips on other couples have been short, like Chris and Katie, boom. all of sudden they are in love…enough said! Just my humble opinion

  63. I love Demi, and I understand that what she did on this episode was hard and a big step. But I also think that once she choose Christian that they needed to go home. Anyone else who has has feelings for someone not on the show has always gone home to pursue that relationship. It’s not fair to Derek. Now it’s like Demi and Christian are in a different world than everyone else on the show.

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