The Bachelor – Uncomfortable Conversations

First and foremost, I need to start and just say how incredible of a job Emmanuel did. Honestly I felt butterflies in my stomach and was so nervous for him! To be put in the position to host such an iconic show, which has only ever known one host, but then to host it and talk about such serious and important topics has got to be extremely overwhelming. I’m sure he felt an immense amount of pressure, but he handled it so well. I watched his Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man series many times and I’m just such a fan of his.

Last Night May Have Felt Uncomfortable

I also want to say this because I’ve seen a lot of talk online from people about how disappointed they are in this season. Look I get it, the season was heavy. We saw a lot of drama and these conversations around race can feel uncomfortable. I know, the majority of people watch TV to escape from life. Heck that’s why Hallmark channel is one of the highest rated cable channels on TV if not the highest rated. People want feel good stories right now because frankly, the world in real life is a pretty scary place. We’re in the middle of a pandemic and we have gone through some very turbulent times as a country in the recent years. More so than I can remember in my life up until this point. Or I just was unaware in my adolescence and in many ways, I was ignorant.

That said, I get the wanting to escape. The thing that everyone has to remember is that these topics are sooooo important. Talking about racism and having an open dialogue where people can learn and grow is important. This wasn’t supposed to be feel good TV. Emmanuel said himself, these conversations feel uncomfortable. But we HAVE to hear them. And we MUST learn from them.

Matt

I felt for Matt so much when he talked about the pressure he felt the season. Can you imagine stepping into the shoes as the first black Bachelor with everything going on in our country? The social injustice, the conversations around racism, the death of George Floyd and so many others – all of it. It’s got to be so much to take on. I can’t imagine the weight he must have felt and still feels. But this is what I do know, I know what it’s like to be in that position in terms of being the lead of the show. The pressure and scrutiny and hate is intense. So I can only imagine with everything going on in our world, the extra level that he had to deal with and how hard that has to be on a person. It’s too much for any one person to take on. The sadness and pain in his eyes was gut-wrenching. So I have to say that I completely respect him for how he handled everything. I don’t think I could have done it.

Racheal

I believe Rachel has shown how committed she is to learning and growing and being better after all of this. I think everything she said were the right things to say (I say “I think” because it’s not my apology to accept) and I believe she’s staying accountable for this and hoping to be better at the end of the day. The only thing I’ll say is that I feel bad that she didn’t feel comfortable expressing her own hurt in the situation. For example, when she first came out and Emmanuel asked her how she’s been.

She said it was a loaded question, but that she didn’t want to victimize herself. I get that she doesn’t want to victimize herself in terms of the fact that she attended an antebellum party – which was WRONG. She is NOT the victim in that case. But it’s okay for her to talk about how hard it’s been dealing with the hateful comments and the bullying that she has undoubtedly received. Yes, she made a huge mistake. But that doesn’t mean she can’t say “Hey, I’m not okay because the hate I’m receiving is horrible”. I personally might get some backlash for saying this, but it’s how I feel. Honestly I’m writing this super quick this morning while I drink my coffee and I’m feeding breakfast to my kids. But that was just the one thing I sort of felt bad for her about and honestly, I feel like it’s just in my nature to want the best for everyone and to hate when anybody’s hurting. This show is intense. The fans are intense. The hate is intense.

Rachael and Matt

In terms of Rachael and Matt’s relationship, I think it’s fair to say that there’s no way their relationship could work at this point. There’s too much pain and too much hurt… and quite frankly too much to take on. Look, I’m not putting myself in that position because I’m not black and therefore I cannot understand what it’s like to be Matt, but what I can understand is what it’s like to be the lead of the show – the amount of pressure the public puts on you is so intense that it makes your relationship more complicated. So on top of the hurt he expressed and is feeling, and it being too hard to come back from that hurt, he also has hundreds of thousands of people criticizing the relationship in one way or another. And that I know, has got to be almost impossible to get through together. I feel for both of them.

And I’m sorry my comments are only on after the final rose. I didn’t get a chance to watch the whole episode. But I usually don’t say much about the final episode other than I wish the best to the happy couple. But obviously that’s not the case here. But I will say I wish the best both to Matt and Rachael. I hope they’re able to heal from this.

Two Bachelorettes!

I’m a huge fan of both Katie and Michelle also I am pumped for both of them! I think they will both make incredible Bachelorettes and I plan to watch both seasons! I guess I’m a little confused as to why they chose 2 women for two seasons. Does that mean there’s no Bachelor in Paradise? So one season is just taking the place of the Bachelor in Paradise season? If that’s the case I’m honestly a bit disappointed because I love Bachelor in Paradise. I know many of  you reading this are more up-to-date with all the spoilers out there than I am, so if anybody has any insight I’d love to know in the comments below!

While Your Here

Before you go – big update to my site! I did an entire blog post about my discount codes that will now live at the top of the homepage on my website. This is so if you guys ever want to get any of the products I recommend you can easily come back to this blog post to find the link and discount code to get a deal on it! I get so many questions about my codea via DM and messages that I figured this would make it easy for everyone!

While you’re here on my site if you wanna check out my emergency prep blog that I wrote yesterday, you can read it here. Plus you can see the ridiculous use Kevin has for the helmet I bought him. I’m telling you, he’s gonna be happy we have that helmet when a big storm hits! I share a few other things that I bought to prepare. If you don’t have an emergency kit prepared take this as your sign to prepare one now!

Love you all. Let’s be kind to one another and try to listen to others. Especially when they tell us they’re hurting. This should go without saying, but I’m going to say it to keep this a safe place. Any comments that condone any form of racism below will be deleted. Let’s lead with love and kindness and understanding when choosing our words – today and always. xoxo

49 Thoughts

49 thoughts on “The Bachelor – Uncomfortable Conversations

  1. They are doing Katie’s season first (which I think they are already quarantining for.) Then Bachelor in Paradise, followed by Michelle’s season! Hers is filming July/August I believe? I heard she didn’t want to miss any more time from her students which I just love! Then the Bachelor after Michelle’s. I personally enjoy the the bachelorette better than the bachelor so I’m excited!

  2. I enjoyed this season to a point. I liked how Matt took control of issues in the house and removed the women causing them. But I did not like last nights episode where he sent Michelle home without giving her a chance for closure. He was all about himself and not respecting the two women he had left. He disrespected Rachael when he cancelled her final date by sending Chris. He couldn’t be bothered to even send her note, but left her to stress all day.

    I didn’t like the fact he calls himself a Christian, but judges Rachael for her past. He professed to love her but couldn’t stand by her and help her understand, teach her his history and how what she did hurt people and help her grow. He had a chance to share with people how educate people. But he couldn’t even look Rachae in the eyes. He couldn’t even speak to her at the end. He was a disappointment to me.

    1. I totally agree with you, Bree. It was so sad to see Matt and Rachael together on ATFR. It was obvious how they feel for each other but I think that he is choosing not to be with her because he’s afraid of the backlash which is sad. She’s apologized and she’s doing the work. Even Emmanuel said that he didn’t think what she did was malicious – she was insensitive and ignorant but didn’t even know it because she didn’t think about it. That was her mistake. I don’t think she’s a racist and I think that Matt should have stood by her and helped her with the work. Perhaps he really is too immature to be in a committed relationship. Who knows. My heart broke for both of them while watching.

      1. I agree. I feel like he should have not abandoned her when things got tough. If your significant other had a drinking problem or other issue would you just say “I’m out of here and you need to do the work on your own?!” Be supportive. I feel like he isn’t ready for a relationship. He didn’t give Michelle the closure she begged for and then sent Chris Harrison to tell Rachael that he needed more time?! Life is hard. Your parents relationship is not your doom. I really feel like
        He needs some therapy. He wouldn’t even hug Rachael at the end of the
        Show. That was heartbreaking and not very Christian like in my opinion.

        1. I can understand where a lot of people are coming from thinking that Matt gave up on their relationship or isn’t ready for commitment and this is an easy way out. I think the piece that is missing though is the acknowledgment that even if Matt loves Rachael (and he clearly still cares for her based on last nights episode), it’s not his responsibility to teach her and educate her about these things that have already been an additional weight on him every day throughout his life, simply because he loves her. This is very different than a partner having a drinking problem because it directly confronts Matt’s identity. I think it’s reasonable and thoughtful that he is thinking about the future and the children they may have, and considering if someone who has this ignorance, is truly the person he wants raising his children. I empathize with Rachael, but I think in the end they were clearly not a good fit and I’m pleased that Matt is strong enough to end things to protect himself from additional burden and hurt.

    2. I totally agree too. Matt was so damn self-righteous. Heck, this whole season was so damn self-righteous. Whatever happened to “he who is sinless cast the first stone.” Rachael dodged a bullet. She’s better off to find someone who’s willing to give her some breathing room to grow and doesn’t say outrageous things like “I broke up with her because she doesn’t understand what it’s like to be black in America.”

      1. When she said she doesn’t understand what it like to be black man in America. Well duh she’s a white woman. And I feel like he is not with her because of backlash he’d get. I hope I don’t get judged on things I did in college. So sad because I think he’s a good guy and she a great girl. just wish he didn’t care so much what others thought.

      2. I agree with you Courtney. Matt was looking for an out anyway. The ridiculous self-righteous attitude was totally ridiculous. The new host was twice as worst. If the new host wanted to really keep it real and discuss ignorance, he should have brought up why Matt picked the white girl over the black girl. It symbolizes how black men feel in society. 9 times out of 10, a young black man will choose a white girl over a black girl as if it’s some kind of trophy. Matt got his trophy, he is now conveniently free and can now chase after more trophies with his 10 seconds of fame. It’s the hard truth that deep down inside nobody is brave enough to talk about.

    3. I 100% agree! That girl has jumped through hoops to be with that man. Did she make a mistake? Yes, but when you love someone and their willing to educate themselves on the mistake, you let it go. Nobodys perfect! My heart broke for Rachel. I think Matt has to make some changes within himself, before he can be in a healthy relationship.

    4. I agree totally with Bree. He was a cop out. He was not willing to even hug her? She is better off with someone else. So disappointed in him and the whole season.

    5. I agree with you 100%. Matt was the first to take control of the negative issues and take action in the house, which has always been a problem in the show and created unnecessary drama. I also didn’t like how he treated Michelle and the disrespect he showed Rachel…unacceptable. I also was upset that he calls himself a Christian, yet he did not forgive Rachel, nor offer to help her with “her education” of the issue. How many people would like to be publicly humiliated for what they did at 21? Not too many I’m sure. I feel so bad for Rachel and Chris; they are the only victims here.

  3. I thought Rachel was very mature last night. She didn’t want to make herself look like a victim and was sincere in her apology. My honest question because I don’t know what it means by saying she has a lot of work to do. What does that mean? She said she read books watched documentaries etc but Matt and Emmanuel kept saying she has more work to do. Also I think Matt put too much emphasis on his mom saying love isn’t the end all be all. In her case she’s right but I believe love can conquer a lot of you truly love someone things can work out.

  4. I agree with you Bree. I did not like the way he treated Michelle or Rachael those last days. He behaved like a weenie. He let what his mom said shake his confidence and cause him to have all these doubts. But I also think he really wasn’t ready for commitment even without that.
    He’s obviously hurting and you can easily see it in his face, his eyes, his body language. I feel bad for him in that regard. But I don’t like how that hurt has not seemed to make him grow as a person and in a relationship. Of course we can’t know what transpired between them when this all blew up but it doesn’t seem he was willing to stand by her and help both of them through this. She’s obviously not a racist…she fell in love with a black man. Did she make some stupid mistakes, yes. She appears to be owning them and not allowing anyone to make excuses for her. That’s huge in my book. But I feel bad for her that he didn’t love her enough to help her…he kind of abandoned her to do it all on her own. Liked him in the beginning…didn’t like him in the end.

  5. I think Matt James is an outstanding man for so many reasons. He is kind, gentle, compassionate, sensitive, fun-loving and sweet. He is a complicated man. He is tortured by his father’s infidelity to his mother, their subsequent break-up and the affect that had on Matt, his brother and mother. He is terrified of repeating his family history. He is not in a headspace that he feels comfortable in trusting his feelings and making a commitment. I think he adored Rachael but cannot get past what she did in her past and is completely hung up with what the public would think of him IF he stayed with her. I am crushed for both of them because I think they both fell in love, but he just CANNOT stand by her and commit to a future. I think it is best for Rachael to move on and try to heal her broken heart. I think Matt may be incapable of EVER being able to forgive her and believe that she is not the insensitive person her past exemplified. I think he would forever be holding her past over her, looking for her to not understand racial hurts and inequities and she would feel like she was forever walking on eggs to prove to him that she has educated herself to understand her ignorant, racial insensitivity in her past.

  6. My heart broke for Rachelle and she deserves so much better. At the end when Matt was all over the place…she told him she wanted to be by him no matter what. She wanted to help him when he needed help etc…She loved him and he didn’t do the same for her. When you love someone you stand by them in good times and bad, the good and the ugly and he “cancelled” her out. That is what’s wrong nowadays. It’s the cancel culture.
    She apologized…what more does he want from her. She said she’s was 100% wrong and wished she did more research behind those parties. She admitted not knowing what those parties stands for. She knows now how wrong that was and all he could think about was how hurt he was. Hurt from what…come on?!!! He’s more like his Dad and that showed during the after rose. He said she needs to learn on her own…why??? Why not help her? That’s what loved ones do for eachother. They don’t dump and run when the going gets tough.
    He also said she doesn’t know what it’s like to be black…ummm that’s because she is white. He has no idea what it’s like to be white either. People have choices…it’s not about color unless you make it about color. You get to make choices and how you decide you want your life to be. That’s on you!
    He definitely needs to learn as well…learn how to accept an apology especially when a person meant no harm.

    I think it’s time for the bachelor franchise to end. It’s not what it used to be.

  7. I’m so glad to read that others had similar thoughts watching this season and in particular, last night’s episodes.
    I think the issues that were brought up with the photos and racial insensitivities are absolutely something that needed to be addressed, learnt from, etc. There is no doubt about that. However, it was fairly obvious that for Matt, that was just a convenient way to get out of a relationship that he was not ready for. The emotional immaturity was awful to watch; just another “Peter” season where we watched a mommy’s boy get brainwashed (I don’t think it was intended to be that way, with Peter’s mother, it 100% was malicious).
    Rachael will come out of this stronger, more educated and aware and will find her right person to grow with. Matt, in the other hand, has some work to do to learn how to be a partner.

    1. You are spot on with this. I was so angry with the way he spoke to her at the After The Final Rose. She dodged a bullet, she doesn’t realize it yet.

  8. First of all, can Matt please shave that beard. I think it looks awful!! He is a good looking, kind man and I’m not sure why he wants to hide himself behind that beard!

    Secondly, I was disappointed how this season ended. If you are going on the Bachelor, then be ready to commit plain and simple. It’s obvious he used what happened with Rachel to get out of this relationship. Such a shame. He couldn’t even hug her!

    I hope the next season is a little more light hearted. Does everything always have to be scrutinized to the max? Rachel made a mistake, she apologized, owned up to it, is learning from it, can’t we move on? Chris Harrison misspoke, apologized, and was ousted!! I just don’t like the whole cancel culture idea. Teach people, work with people, educate people, but don’t cancel them out!!! We talk about equality and acceptance….well where is the acceptance of Rachel and Chris for their mistakes? Are people not allowed to make mistakes anymore? Rachel wasn’t malicious and neither was Chris but people are acting as though they set out to purposely be racist.

    I hope the bachelorette shows will be better suited to enjoyable TV or I may be done watching these for good. After Hannah Brown’s disaster, Peter’s disaster, and Claire’s disaster, and now Matt….I can’t take much more. I did like Tayshia’s season and I hope as the host she can make this more enjoyable to the long time viewers of this show in Chris’s absence.

    1. I’m just sick about all of it. I really loved Matt until his mom ruined love for him. He is definitely a mama’s boy and she obviously has issues. The fact that Rachael was comforting him, yet Matt couldn’t even look at her was awful. The franchise has lost me as a loyal fan of the show. I’m done.

      1. I agree with you. I may be done with this whole program. Matt’s mother really disappointed me, making her issues Matt’s. Not very loving at all, which may be why Matt has difficulty with love and committing himself in a relationship. I think Matt’s failure to look at Rachel and that awful beard he is sporting, is his way of covering up his insecurities. The biggest issue I have is the lack of forgiveness for such a Christian man. Rachel asked for his forgiveness; Matt didn’t offer any. I believe Rachel loved Matt with her whole heart, but even in the final rose ceremony, Matt still didn’t want to commit to her. I believe that this break up is not about racial “ignorance”, it was Matt’s way out of still not wanting to commit to any relationship. I think that Matt needs more help than Rachel. Who would want to have something thrown in their face about what they did at 21??? Rachel didn’t understand what she was participating in….and she certainly didn’t do it to be malicious. If Chris Harrison is being ousted forever from ABC, I will never watch this show again. The only ones I feel sorry for is Rachel and Chris….this is just not right. From now on, I suggest to avoid any future racial issues, the contestants should be the same race as the Bachelor/Bachelorette.

    2. I agree with you all. I’m so sad for Rachael and Chris. I hope they bring Chris back soon, and Rachael is able to move on. And about the convo Matt had with his father. I think it was necessary that we see that, cause it showed us where his head was at, as the bachelor, not as a black man. There has been plenty of exploitation going on, over the past 25 seasons, with also white bachelors and bachelorettes. It all makes good TV.

      1. I’m going to say this, not being a black man myself growing up in America, I will NEVER pretend to understand how Matt feels about seeing Rachael’s past behavior.
        Clearly they really fell in love and are still in love, that was obvious and neither of them denied it. HOWEVER, I think everyone is very quick to forget that if Matt and Rachael had dated in the real world he probably would have discovered those pictures or met friends that made him uncomfortable eventually. Because in the show they are so removed from reality and the entire world in this experience they don’t know each other as a whole. While I agree that when you love someone you want to stand by them and help them, sometimes there is growth that the person must accomplish on their own.
        Matt is not responsible for teaching Rachael why her past actions were insensitive. Just like it is not any black persons’ responsibility to explain or teach white people how to grow and help people of color. We all, as adults must take responsibility and do this work on our own.

        With all that said, being a romantic, I would love them to be able to come back together. sigh 🥀

  9. I think with different races on the show I would like to know if they have had conversations on what it will look like being in a black/white relationship in the real world. I’m happy Matt stayed true to himself and didn’t jump into a proposal at the end.

  10. Okay-I will get filleted for this comment but are we going to destroy every person at that inappropriately themed party? I get it was just a few years ago-and at a certain age, you should know better. I went to a “white trash themed party” a neighbor invited me to even though I was extremely uncomfortable with it. So, I want to apologize to everyone born in a trailer park, the inner city and in poverty because I was insensitive to your circumstances, the injustices, pain and trauma you went through at no fault of your own. Forgive me & thank you God my husband was at this party so he does not abandon me for a shitty choice.
    This poor girl.

  11. Coward. That’s the only word I have for Matt. If he loved Rachel as much as he professed, he should still be by her side. People make mistakes and in this case, did he really believe that Rachel was and is a racist? If he does, then he needs to be educated. Not everyone knows every single issue out there that has to do with any race. The woman made a mistake. She fell on her sword and now she’s made out to be an ignorant racist. An apology and being educated isn’t enough. What the heck is wrong with society that we cancel everyone for making a mistake?
    Matt is not ready for any relationship from watching what I saw on the Final Rose. Marriage means taking the bad and the good in death do you part. And what did Matt do? He ran. He caved under the media pressure. So disappointing. Coward

  12. Im really ticked off these days how all this black lives stuff is taking over. Our country is getting so critical about everything. Wow. Yes blacks have problems with society. They still are stuck on slavery when none of them have been a slave. Rachels life is being torn apart all because she was a teenager and went to a party at her college and in 2018 noone thought twice about it. She went to have fun. Im 69 and Ive never heard what the theme of the party even ment. Are we all looking for excuses to critize and bully everyone. Gosh if the dance was at the college why has nobody mentioned the college was at fault instead of blaming young students. Matt is a self centered boy he seemed to want popularity not a wife. He used this against Rachel i doubt if he ever really cared. The last seasons of the show have been awful. Itscturned into who is more popular who can be bullies and rude. And so much sex involved. It seems once on this show now they never go back to their original jobs. They all tour have fun party. I feel this is all so wrong esp for the young generation watching and dreaming their should be like this. I probably have over spoke I hope some get what im saying. Speaking from the older generation and seeing things not quit right anymore.

  13. The left used public shaming to advance their agenda and the left wants everyone to think that everything is racist.
    Its pathetic. The left wants to play the race card for everything..
    There was no reason to drag racism in this show.
    Its totally ridiculous.

  14. I am seriously happy most here see things for what they are, and that gives me hope this world hasnt gone entirely crazy.

    I wrote this on a social media post and stand by it: “Nothing Rachel ever does in the future will EVER be good enough. Best that she accept it and move on from the spineless Matt James, who instead of trying to love, understand and forgive, chooses instead to vilify her.”

    Matt went from this outstanding, sensible young man to a whiny-ass, mommy-approval seeking child in one episode. The way he crushed Michelle then callously walked out of the room, then had Chris do his dirty work notifying Rachel, was extremely cowardly in both instances. I couldn’t believe what I was watching. Thirty-two women, (33 if you count Heather) survived a scare.

    RUN RACHAEL, RUN… as fast and as far as you can away from this child. And don’t look back!

  15. My impression of Matt has gone way down! I don’t think he was ready for a relationship! The way he treated Michelle and Rachael at the end was rude! He wouldn’t have made it with any woman after talking with his mom. He needs to grow up and shave that horrible beard!

    1. Cherie, I agree with you on this. I just think he changed his mind and wasn’t that into her.

  16. As always a very interesting post Ali. I love following you and your family. You guys are like watching Donna Reid, Father Knows Best and all the other family sitcoms that I grew up with. Stay who you are and thanks for sharing your life. It makes my day!

  17. My heart ached for Rachel as this Beautiful Soul was 18 years old when this happened. and sorry I didn’t like how they both ambushed her. We all have made mistakes in our lives. For God’s sake Rachel is madly in love with Matt and by the way he is Bi-racial not just Black as he kept referring to himself. Matt wasn’t in to her like he said and now that is a Star he is full of himself. I will not be watching any longer this cancel crap is not for me. Give People a break.

  18. This is a very sad event and just one of many now taking place in our Country today.
    While I am an old “white” woman who grew up with 2 very best friends…brown and black to be more specific… I am so saddened to see cruelty like we all witnessed in the last few weeks of this season.
    First…. Chris Harrison….a dedicated and sincerely good person with no prejudice in anything he says or does…..(unless you are seeking to villainize him too). To, Chris I am truly sorry your compassion , empathy, understanding and tolerance was met with such negativity and rejection. We need more people like you who do try to reach out and understand and empathize with others even if we do not agree with them. I commend you and please do not change to please a singular group who is so short sighted, unforgiving and uneducated on young people and their sometimes simply stupid silly choices in life.
    Second to Matt who was raised by a very loving and classy caring mother in a more stable and privileged way then many young black children are living in today. I feel it may just be that you my dear sir do not know what it is like to be a black man in America either.
    Further for a black person to agree to go on a dating show with somewhat naïve, young white woman raised in middle class America for a potential marriage partner and then state “she does not know/understand what it’s like to be a black man” is the dumbest thing I think I have heard yet.
    We will all see the true motive behind his decision to be the first black bachelor. When he becomes an “important and well paid” lead, host or spokes person for the franchise. His motive will be shown. .(of course Harrison expected him to propose as that IS in fact what the guy SIGNED UP FOR) Where was Matt’s integrity?
    Figure it out BEFORE you agree to go on national TV and commit to a relationship!
    He obviously was not ready for a commitment as even his mother clearly knew……she knew her own son. He was not a good representation of Black men that last night on the Final rose, IMO. He felt lofty enough to judge another person. Uncaring enough to show NO compassion and cold enough to reject a simple need for human acceptance. He chose a young and very sweet white woman over a very sweet, young black woman, telling the later “I cant get there with you” … OMG! Then complained the woman he did choose ” did not know what its like to be a black man.” He tried to dump her at the lake but she was so naïve and in love that she was willing to “wait for him to be ready”
    Everyone has had times of struggle and prejudices to deal with in their life. EVERYONE!. Women could not get credit with out their husbands co signing for them in the early 70’s. We could not get a mortgage loan and could not buy a car unless we paid cash. We could not rent a home or an apartment. So While young Rachel does not know what it is like to be a black man evidently Matt does not know what it is like to be an elderly white woman or he would not be so punishing to Rachel for her lack of knowledge. Should we humiliate him in public too? So who needs to educate him and many in his generation?
    While no one knows the weight of a cross another bears we all must be ready to realize that everyone has a place, a time a situation that was caused by injustice or short sightedness or yes even prejudices that caused pain and suffering. Its just a fact that has been happening since the beginning of time. The first slaves sold on an auction block from the 1400’s through the 1800’s were Caucasian. All of the MILLIONS of Holocaust deaths were due to prejudice. How do we as humans pay for all of the suffering caused by ignorance and how can it ever be made right? We can not un ring a bell but we can move forward not as victims but as human beings who will not judge or humiliate someone and will be better than those before us. Woman are still fighting for equality and are still being controlled, beaten, maimed and killed. And we can now add humiliated on national television for entertainment!!

    ALL JMO

    .

  19. I agree with many of the thoughts below but differ on a few. A comment was made that it was not his place to teach her, if not him then who? I think he did love her but not enough to help them navigate through this. I agree with Emmanuel and Michelle who said this was not done with malice and Rachel has a good heart. My thought is if she was truly racist Matt who have seen something in her actions. She acknowledged she didn’t think how her actions could be offensive to others and it was her own lack of knowledge which she trying to learn from . All anyone can do in a situation like this is acknowledge your actions, sincerely apologize and learn from your mistakes. My issue with Matt is a man of faith had absolutely no grace for her. Dare say any of us have lived a life that we don’t owe an apology for something.
    I agree the odds of this relationship being mended at this point is nil, but I don’t feel that failure is 100% Rachel’s.

  20. I read through all of your comments and you are all very wise people. I agree with all of you on your thoughts of the show, Matt and Rachael. I’m afraid that after all of these years, I’m signing off of Bachelor franchise. I’m disappointed beyond words for the actions of this show.

  21. I didn’t watch After the Final Rose because I was so disappointed in the finale. Let’s take out race and what happened with Racheal and see what truly happened. Matt was not ready for commitment. If he was truly ready, his mom’s comments would have been something he respectfully accepted, but known that his parents’ relationship is not his. What was the point of his disturbing conversation with his dad? I have seen several people come from broken homes and have successful marriages. It takes being willing to focus on the present and your relationship. It is also not true love if you can’t stand by your partner. In a marriage you promise to love each other through the good and the bad. There will be lots of good and bad to varying degrees throughout the relationship. Both people just have to be willing to work through these things together.

  22. I agree that Emmanuel did a really good job.

    I have to say that I feel really bad for both Matt and Rachael. I think there is far too much public scrutiny for their relationship to continue which is really sad because they clearly love each.

    I feel for Rachael, I really do. Yes she made a mistake, one that has cost her dearly. It was a mistake made out of ignorance, not malice and she has more than paid the price for it. When Chris Harrison tried to defend her it was because of the the amount of hatred that she and her family were receiving. She went on the show to find love, not to have her life ruined. She made a mistake but she does not deserve this amount of hatred being aimed at her. She lost Matt, she is clearly suffering and I hope people back off now 🙁

  23. With everything that happened the fact that Matt did not propose was kind of overshadowed.
    Considering that he had deep conversations with some of the women of color on the show, I would think that he would have had serious discussions with Rachael about racism, and raising mixed children. It was his responsibility as the Bachelor supposedly looking to get married to bring up these discussions and make sure that they were on the same page.
    I found him to be thoughtful and considerate for most of the show and I applaud how he handled the bullying but it seems that he is not in the proper headspace for a committed relationship. He seemed so smitten with so many girls (I wish the Bachelor Franchise would lower the number of women, but that’s another issue), but did seem particularly attracted to Rachael. It appears though that it was just infatuation and not strong enough to propose, or even stay together during difficult times. No, it is not his job to educate her, but if he loved her and was committed to her he would have stayed with her and supported her while she went through this.
    And it was very wrong of him to not give Michelle the closure she needed, or even hug Rachael. He still has quite a bit of maturing to do.

    1. I did read online at MSN Entertainment that Bachelor in Paradise was canceled this season due to the pandemic. So apparently it will just be the summer and fall seasons of The Bachelorette.

  24. No this season was so stupid. Making drama where there isn’t?? Matt should’ve forgiven her. As a man of faith he needed to let go and display that on tv, that he is compassionate and kind. But did he do that?? No. It was the “woe is me show”. As far as rachel putting in work goes… what work needs to be put in? She apologized for something that happened in college that she was ignorant towards. We’ve all done and said ignorant things. Let’s move on. If you love her Matt, then you will walk by her side and love her through it all. Forgiveness is a huge part of life, once you learn to accept that there is sin, and will always be sin in this world you can ask for forgiveness. just like Christ forgave us, we forgive people. Why do we keep focusing on hate? I can bet you Matt had made mistakes in his life too…Extend a loving hand to rachel who’s life is probably ruined now because of all this & realize that she made a mistake.

  25. Well for one Matt is half white and black. He was so rude to rachel during the end of show and on aftr. This show will never be the same without Chris harrison and probably won’t last much longer. Happy to hear he has an attorney. I wish everyone all the best and luck with this bachelor stuff. I was pretty much done watching several episodes before matt’s. way to much drama and stupid stuff

  26. Unfortunately, I will not be watching anymore Bachelor, Bachelorette or Paradise. ABC or The Bachelor franchise did not support Chris Harrison at all. I think Rachel Lindsay screwed up. She said the plantation party was not correct now & not in 2018. In the early 70’s there was an iconic show called “All In The Family”. It had black people, Asian people, Jewish people and one very ignorant man, Archie Bunker. Could that show be on TV now? Absolutely not! But at that time, everyone was able to laugh together! It even had a spin off show, The Jeffersons. Rachel is too young to understand how we could laugh then. She is NOT always right & this is something she needs to realize & apologize for!

  27. I don’t believe Matt was ready for any of this. He needed an out & this was it. If he loved her, he would have stood by her side and helped her. Also, I think Matt’s Mother gave some bad advice. She said love fades, does it?? For everyone??

  28. Ali, the negative and accusatory comments on here against Matt (and Rachel Lindsay) are quite horrifying and appalling. My stomach dropped reading them.
    If anyone were to fathom a guess who they are from – most likely from white people who have no idea what it is like to be a black man or person in America, as they just seem to just want to defend white people – Rachael K. and Chris Harrison and not extend any of that grace or understanding to Matt (or Rachel Lindsay) and the struggles they encounter everyday as black people. This was a very disturbing read of comments.

    Knowing how you like to spread positivity and kindness – I hope you take the time to address these rather negative comments somehow – whether it be yourself or by having a guest poster that has more understanding of this situation, so you can try to spread some more awareness and understanding on extremely important and serious issues in the US. Racism has taken on new heights and it is deep seated. Those in privileged positions due to their race often have no idea of the depths of struggle and complications that races other than white have to deal with daily. Obviously many of your readers need to explore their own perspective of their own beliefs, the forms of racism and the difficult struggles of other races in this country. I hope that you can help this conversation.

  29. I heard your post when you were congratulated Colton on coming out. A follower said something to the effect of, him being a stalker. You said your life is so busy that you don’t follow up any gossip. It’s NOT gossip. He put a tracking device on Cassie’s car (after they broke up) He would sit in his car behind Cassie’s parents home in the middle of the night. He pretended he was being stalked too, hoping this could bring them together (He admitted he lied about that. I just wanted to let you know it was all real & not gossip.

  30. As far as The Bachelor or Michelle or Katie, I will not be watching. I found it absolutely disgusting how ABC & the show itself did nothing to support Chris Harrison. I have deleted all future recordings, I have unfollowed everyone assoc w/the show. I will not be watching any more.

  31. It’s Episode 3 of Katie’s Season.
    Wouldn’t it be nice – and respectful – to hear from Ali that she has signed off for now…

    Is it that hard to show basic appreciation to us fans who tuned in years back, and have basically supported her endeavors as a social entrepreneur?

    Feels lousy to have to guess.

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