The Bachelor – This is Too Much to Handle

I don’t know about you, but I’m finding this all too much to handle, as a viewer and for the women! Let’s get right into Fantasy Suite week!

This Is Too Much

The very first thing I thought as soon as the episode started was how bizarre it was that all three of the girls were together having conversations about their relationships with Matt. Normally at this point in the season everyone is separated and the girls are not required to interact with each other, except for at the rose ceremonies. Two weeks ago during hometowns, I thought it was weird that they we’re still living together, but I thought it would be the last time and then made split up. But the fact that they still have them all together is just cruel. They should have separated them in separate areas of the resort.

Also, the fact that the girls know who goes first, so potentially who he is sleeping with first, it’s just so disturbing. When you’re separated and there’s so much time, you honestly don’t even really realize who’s going first or second or last. For example, when a lot of traveling happens in the show, you don’t really realize what’s happening on the days you’re not being filmed or with the Bachelor. He could be taking a day off or traveling or on another date or production could’ve stopped for 1 million different reasons. You don’t really know when you’re kind of in the dark. From hometowns, the only thing you’re aware of is your relationship with the Bachelor and nothing else. So the fact that they’re so aware of what’s going on this season is just more than any person should be expected to be able to handle emotionally. I feel so bad for them.

Michelle’s Date

Honestly I thought Michelle would be the one to go home this episode while watching their entire date. He just seemed so serious, not super happy, on their date. Almost like he knew in the back of his head that every time she said I love you, he was never going to say it back. I don’t know what it was. But I was really surprised that she wasn’t the one sent home to be honest.

Bri’s Date

I guess I shouldn’t of been super surprised that Bri went home, but they just giggled and laughed so much together on their date that I just found myself smiling and laughing along with them. I think they make such an amazing couple. But I do think it probably progressed a little too slowly for them to move forward at this point. But gosh, I love Bri and I would absolutely love to see her as the Bachelorette. She’s so beautiful and well spoken and smart. I just think that she would be an absolutely outstanding Bachelorette. I’m sad that we didn’t get to know her better this season. I feel like we never even really heard from her besides the first date and then the past couple episodes.

Rachael’s Date

It just feels so obvious week after week that Matt is choosing Rachael in the end. She’s the only one he tells that he has fallen in love with her. Unless he told Michelle and it was edited out. I don’t think that’s the case because I feel like the producers would definitely leave that in. And I felt horrible for Rachael this entire episode. Again I’m just sitting here sweating and pacing thinking about how awful it would be to be in these three girls situation this week having to see each girl come back from her fantasy suite. That’s just not something we normally see and it’s just not okay and too much to put them through. So I guess I don’t have much to say about Rachel’s date other than I felt bad for her. But I think she’ll end up with Matt in the end.

Thoughts on Next Week?

So much to discuss! Did you also think that keeping the girls together was too much? What are your thoughts on how next week’s finale is going to go? Any theories (no spoilers!) on why Matt is upset in the preview? I am really interested and excited to see how the ATFR goes with Emmanuel Acho as host! Let’s all chat below about tonight’s episode!!

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70 Thoughts

70 thoughts on “The Bachelor – This is Too Much to Handle

  1. They have all been together for fantasy suites since Peter’s season I think! I don’t like it either, but it isn’t new!

    1. I was thinking the same thing but I was wondering if I just made it up. But I knew it wasn’t the 1st time. Still not fair to anyone I couldn’t even imagine having to go through that.

      1. It was a few seasons ago they started that. In know on Coltons season they were all together untilthe end. It’s so awkward for them. I looked it better having them separated after hometowns.

  2. I definitely think it’ll be Rachel in the end. I think maybe he’s upset in the final episode because he’s so torn. And, I totally agree that the women should not have been together! That was so awful!!

    1. I also wasn’t thrilled about the conversation with his dad. It seemed so forced to me. It was one that definitely should have been had in private and not on national television. I cringed almost the entire time.

      1. Can’t agree more about his dad’s visit. Probably a good one to have but in private. There are some things that just don’t need to be televised.

        1. I so agree. Regardless of what his Dad did or didn’t do, he didn’t deserve to be ambushed on national TV. Whatever issues Matt had, he should have dealt with them before even going on the show.

          1. It’s aggravating to watch such an important – and real – conversation and then hear Matt criticise the show for airing it. I had no negative judgement til I heard he complained- as if the show doing what the show always does was somehow unfair to him, as a biracial person.

            I found his father’s response moving, and Matt’s experience key to understanding him. Honestly I can’t imagine the season without it now. I wish Matt James could have faith that a non black audience could witness such a vulnerable exchange with compassion and interest.

  3. I’m so over this season. What could have been a groundbreaking season with the first Black bachelor and such a diverse cast of women was instead wasted on mean girl drama. We know next to nothing about the final 3 and Matt himself.

    There have been other seasons where the contestants were together for fantasy suite week (Peter for sure, maybe Tayshia?). It’s definitely weird. I found this episode to be boring and full of awful dates. I know they aren’t traveling, but come on, there are way more exciting things to do in Nemacolin (I’ve been).

    1. I agree. Each season the dats get worse and worse. What’s wrong with a nice dinner and actually letting us get to know the contestants and see how they interact with the lead?

  4. I agree 100%. The girls should not have been together. It was sad to see their pain watching the other girls come back from the date.
    Bri is so beautiful and smart. I hope she finds happiness.

  5. This isn’t the first time The Bachelor has kept the final girls together. During Peter’s season, they did the exact same thing. I think it’s torture for the women to be together at this point. It’s not right.

  6. I was surprised Bri went home, I feel like they have a lot in common and a lot of fun together. I think the last few years they’ve kept the last few contestants together. I remember thinking it is awful for them to do that during Coltons season! Not fair to the girls at all! I do think he picks Rachael but don’t think he’s still with her! 🤷🏻‍♀️

  7. I agree 100% that the women should not have to see each other return from the over night dates.

  8. I also thought it was really unfair. Those dates are so intense and personal and to see each woman coming back must have been so difficult for the women still at home. I really felt for them! I just adore Michelle. I have as soon as she arrived and they have seemed to connect so well. I’m pulling for her!

  9. I agree 100% , it’s horrible how they had to watch each one come back to the point Rachel asked the other two , what they did on their date! Terrible choice.

  10. I agree – it seems like he chooses Rachael based on editing. If he doesn’t choose Michelle, I would love to see her or Bri as next Bachelorette.

  11. They have been doing this since Peter’s season and it was awful then and it’s awful now. I can’t believe the producers think this is ok! I get creating drama but this is just cruel

  12. I really can’t stand how they do this to the girls. Honestly the show has gotten so bad- between how mean the girls are to the total over producing of the season- I just hardly even watch any more.

  13. They did this on Peter’s season to maximize Madi’s discomfort, and then with quarantine I think they just decided to keep doing it for Tayshia’s men and now Matt’s women. It’s gross and so unfair to them.

  14. I remember them doing that for Peter’s season. I hated it too and thought it was a tacky production move to stir up more drama and tension between the girls. But as a viewer, by this time I don’t want to see the drama anymore between the girls. That should be behind them by now and the focus should be on the relationships with Matt. The drama and cattiness is fun to watch when it’s a house full of girls, but down to the final 4, those girls have gone through so much to get to that point and they shouldn’t be subjected to that nonsense anymore.

  15. The 3 being together is
    A W K W A R D! Yikes! I felt terrible for them. Super surprised he kept Michele over Bri, but 100% convinced he picks Rachael (whom I LOVE with him). The dates were lame to say the least. Dying for next week to get here!!!!!!!

  16. I don’t like how they have done this the last couple of seasons. I almost feel as if they are keeping the women together just to get a reaction and also for the hopes of creating more drama. It has to take a huge emotional toll on the women witnessing each other returning from the overnight date. Also, I found it weird that it looked as if he had three consecutive dates with no day in between. Each day when someone would return one of the other girls would get up and say they had to get ready for their date. Isn’t there usually at least a day in between dates?

  17. Totally agree that they should be separated now and not be subjected to the other girls overnight suite dates! This was painful to watch!

  18. Totally agree just too much.. I kept cringing that they were forced to watch one another come home from overnights .. just felt so distasteful by the franchise .. ugh they need to not let this happen again..

    1. I think it’s on us viewers to make a protest. The.show keeps running with it because they believe we accept their choice.

      I’m.guessing even blog chatter is an endorsement to them. Probably only financial consequences will get them to stop…like viewers confronting advertisers and Disney.

  19. I agree, they need to go back to keeping the girls apart after hometowns. I know due to Covid they have few options but it’s awful to put these girls in a position like this. I hope next season they go back to the way it use to be.

    1. They’ve have a whole resort! They each could be given their own run. They started this way before covid. I remember the girls on Coltons season being together too.

  20. I agree, they need to go back to keeping the girls apart after hometowns. I know due to Covid they have few options but it’s awful to put these girls in a position like this. I hope next season they go back to the way it use to be.
    I thought Bri was staying. When she was sent home i was shocked.
    I’m not sure what’s going to happen next week. I hooe he picks Rachel.
    I really hope the producers learn their lesson and don’t show the mean girl stuff over dates. We want to learn about the bachelor/ bachelorette not see the mean girl stuff going on.

  21. I would just like to say, I think all 3 of these women are great ladies. I agree, it was hard to watch them walk in from their dates with Matt. I believe Rachel has his heart. I’m so sad to see Bri leave. She would be a fantastic bachlorette.
    I also felt like it was interesting to show two black men having a heart to heart about serious issues. I loved it. I’m a product of divorce, and was abandoned by my father. So to see Matt try and heal and move forward was a beautiful and mature thing. I think if you want to be successful in your future you have to deal with the past. Bravo to Matt! I hope he finds love with Rachel. I hope Michelle and Bri find their perfect matches!

    1. Regardless of race the issue of abandonment is a very important one especially when it comes to how people view marriage. Men of all nationalities abandon their families and have double lives and it affects how their children view relationships, so I agree it was important to show it. But I did feel bad for his dad because he really did not seem capable of dealing with it – especially on TV

  22. My friend and I watch all Bachelor shows and I said the same thing during the Bachelorette as the last 3 remaining men were still all together during fantasy week. I said I get it’s COVID but separate them. We get to the same week on Bachelor same thing. But now you have ladies in this situation which is even WAY worse than the men. I couldn’t imagine having to listen to what is said or even implied about each overnight.

  23. First of all, I think Matt James is an incredible man. He is kind, thoughtful, compassionate, smart, fun-loving and handsome. Aside from all of the ridiculous mean girl drama this season, we have been introduced to many very smart, fun, well-rounded, successful and beautiful women. Unfortunately, there was too much drama and not enough serious relationship building shown to us.
    Matt’s final four women are all outstanding women. Pieper, Bri, Michelle and Rachael, all are terrific women, in my opinion. And yes, I am totally aware of all of the controversy regarding Rachael’s behavior in her past and the pain the Rachel Lindsay and Chris Harrison interview has brought to light the racial inequities The Bachelor franchise has perpetuated for years.
    I have this feeling, and I DO NOT read spoilers, that Matt WAS planning on choosing Rachael, but I think all of the information regarding some of her actions in college were shared with him somehow and he just couldn’t go through with his intended ask. In the previews, we see Michelle double over sitting on a couch and we see Rachael and she says “He wouldn’t even see me today.” So, did he tell Michelle that he has to let her go, learn about Rachael’s history and then have his meeting with Chris Harrison and say he’s unsure if he can go on OR did his time with his mother and brother just unhinge him and convince him that he is not ready for an engagement with either woman?

  24. Honestly I think there has been so much wrong with this seasons bachelor. It has definitely been an odd season. I agree with you that he’s going to pick Rachel. Every week Im surprised about something.

  25. Absolutely agree about the women being together after each overnight date being awkward. These women should not have to be subjected to this. I highly doubt they are sharing rooms so having to face each other after the dates is cruel.
    I thought Michelle was the one going home as well. All three of these women are amazing and I hate to see them get their hearts broken. It appears he chooses Rachel but my concern is if the relationship can withstand all that happened these past weeks.

    I use to love this show but it seems drama not love is the focal point and there is little respect extended to the participants.
    I think Ari’s season was the last that resulted in a lasting relationship and that one had drama of it’s own.

    I wonder if the franchise has just run it’s course and time to retire or find a different format. Of all the franchise types Bachelor Pad was my favorite and I would love to see it revived.

  26. They did this for peters season too, I got bored with Clare/Tayshias season so I don’t remember that one. You would think though that if they closed this resort down for filming they could have found a way to keep them all separate, it’s not like it’s a small place.

  27. They did the same thing during Peter’s season where the women were together. I don’t like it at all. It was always after hometowns that the contestants are separated. I definitely think he ends up with Rachel.

  28. They’ve got the cast together during fantasy suites for the last couple seasons and I hate it! I definitely liked back in the day when they would separate the cast. I also agree Matt ends up with Rachael, and maybe his emotion is bc he feels bad saying goodbye to Michelle? Idk I’ll be shocked if he doesn’t end up with Rachael even though I find him and Michelle so cute. But you’re right, he’s just not that into her(or it’s being edited that way!)

  29. I agree I think that sucks for the girls. It’s been like that for a couple seasons now where the final 3 are all together and I hate it. And it’s been obvious for weeks now he is picking Rachael! But I think the most important part of the episode was his Dad! First why did that conversation have to be televised?! I mean obviously for drama and ratings but man it was so personal and I felt so uncomfortable watching it! It sucked for them both. Matt calling out all of his Dads demons and his Dad not taking any responsibility (at first) all for millions to see. Not a fan of that!

  30. I totally didn’t think it was fair that the girls were not separated and I thought bri and Matt looked so cute together. I’m wondering if Matt is upset next week if he’s having second thoughts on proposing maybe the commitment?

  31. First of all, I thought his conversation with his father was extremely awkward and should NOT have been on tv! Secondly, I’m so happy he sent Bri home because I want her to be the next Bachelorette! I was texting my girlfriends the same thing. She’s beautiful and articulate. I love her!

  32. Completely agree! So awkward to watch them see each other after the dates! 😱 I did think Bri would be the
    one to go, unless he 100% knew it wasn’t Michelle and wanted to spare her feelings. Rachel definitely is his top pick, but next week I think his family feels that Michelle is a better choice. Puts a wrench in his plans! 😳

    1. I think he knows it’s Rachael, and kept Michelle to extend her time and set her up for Bachelorette.

      I totally think his mom sees Michelle as marriage material and Rachael as not ready, and he is super rattled by their visit. But he gets to a ring, we see.that…its been stressful viewing I can’t imagine living through it as he has. He is a good man, and deserves good things.

  33. Also, ( dont shoot me ladies ) I’m a small percentage of people that likes to watch shows like the bachelor all at once. I have not watched one minute of it and if I see anything posted about it, I skip over it. Lol. Sorrrry. Would love to give my input or comment on it but I’m very impatient and want to go from first episode to last! Booo, boring, I know! Haha

  34. I found that this season of the bachelor wasn’t as intresting
    as it has been in past bachelor ;last nights eposide was nice I do like bri and Michele but, I would have choosen bri or Rachel

    1. I think Matt knows Michelle is the one but he is deep down afraid of messing it up because of his commitment issues….therefore, possibly not choosing her in the end…kind of like self-sabotage, because he’s not fully ready to receive real and mature love that Michelle is ready to give/receive.

      Did you see how he called her from the balcony and blew kisses? Some might say that that was staged, but the air kisses were not staged…hoping they figure out the way to each other in the end! 🙂

      1. I like your idea that they could still have a future together…but I don’t see Michelle taking him back(out of dignity and faith in a bigger love). She is the mature grown up choice, but the Bachelor probably isn’t ready as much as he longs to be.

  35. It isn’t new that the contestants all remain together it has been that way since Peter’s season. I feel it is unkind, insensitive and cruel. Honestly I’ve never missed a season since the beginning but I feel the way things are handled now are not ok.

  36. They did the same thing with Peter Weber’s season when it came to fantasy week. This isn’t the first time it’s happened.

  37. I agree ! So awkward to do that to them. I may be way off but feel like 24 is just way to young to get engaged in terms of spending literally a few days with a guy. Absurd to me.
    But anyway – great post and we will of course see if he ends up alone ?

  38. This will sound super picky but for those of you who haven’t deleted the episode, watch from about 1:28 to 1:32, Matt’s convo with Rachael… her hair goes from messy to perfectly smooth back to messy again, within seconds. I’m aware there’s a ton of editing but this felt so manufactured and a bit manipulative toward the audience. Again totally aware of editing but it’s so blatant. A bit disenchanting IMHO.

  39. I also felt it was super strange to have the two girls there when the one came back from the overnight date…awkward!!
    Also Bri is so so mature for her age and well spoken as you said. I think they would have made a great coyote especially since they have something big in common- both raised with single mothers.
    I think Matt is emotional on the next episode because he finds out about the news that Rachael had posted pics back in 2018 attending an antebellum party etc. Maybe that causes a bit of upset and drama…!?

  40. I agree completely. I think it’s cruel to keep them together at this point. It’s uncomfortable to watch, so I can’t imagine how these women feel.

    I wasn’t surprised that Bri went home. I wish we had gotten to know her better this season as well. I love her & would love to see her as the Bachelorette.

    I LOVE Michelle & keep hoping that he’ll choose her, but it doesn’t seem likely. Unless they’re really trying to throw us off.

    I’m looking forward to the finale & the AFTR special. I’m not sure what Matt’s breakdown is about, I think they’re trying to make us think someone leaves. I wonder if he found out about Rachael’s tweets. Anyway it’ll be interesting.

  41. One kind of upsetting thing to me, unless it was a poor edit, is that he seemed to come thinking this was supposed to be a celebration meanwhile producers had to know and had to have been pushing Matt to have that conversation with his dad before fantasy suites.

  42. I think he chooses Michelle. From the beginning it seems like they both would do well together and raise a family well. I don’t see Rachel talking real life and facing hard things with Matt.

  43. Honestly I’ve always loved watching the Bachelor but I haven’t been able this season. So much bullying. So much going on behind the show. Knowing he picks Rachael in the end then after everything comes out about her he dumps her it’s just not even worth keeping up with. I think the show has run its course and it’s sad.

  44. He said the same things on every date! Very boring. Cruel for the girls to be hanging together. No my favorite season to much drama and mean girls!

  45. I don’t know when they started it but for a couple seasons now they have had the final three together. They did that with Madison p and Hannah Ann on peters season too I remember. And I think it’s horrible. It is absolutely gut wrenching. I also feel like they didn’t show much of Rachaels date like they did the other girls. But I agree I think bri would be an amazing bachelorette!

  46. Totally agree with the degree of uncomfortablness with the remaining 3 ladies. Awful. But this isn’t the first time they have done this. I forget the season.

  47. Sorry but isn’t reality tv entertainment based on humiliation: making someone feel bad? I wish this was not the case. Are the producers trying to mix up the formula? Yes. I only watched two seasons of the Bachelor 15 years ago but this show needs to be taken off the air. Better ways for woman & men to make empowered choices and find true love.

  48. I agree with everything you stated in this column. It is just horrible to have all the women together at this point. They are exploiting the situation because they are not traveling. Under no circumstances could this be a good idea. I also feel it is obvious that it is Rachel by the dates she gets with him. He also does tell her he loves her as opposed to the others. I just feel this show, without traveling, is missing a lot. The separation towards the end made the decisions more plausible. Unfortunately, the next show will be the same.

  49. This was my least favorite Bachelor Season ever. It used to be more fun to watch this show. I don’t know if it is because Matt was never on it before so we don’t know him and also he doesn’t have the experience of being on the other side so he lacks the empathy of how that feels as one of many dating one person. I also don’t recall such a level of disrespect to the producers and host. It really bothers me that Chris Harrison was defending a contestant and has such a backlash. Yes he was out of line to say what he said most definitely but to have all of these former and current contestants want to fire him? He sincerely apologized. He sincerely is learning. It is getting out of control and losing the whole original premise of being a show to find love, not fame on social media. If Chris Harrison doesn’t come back I am done with this show and I think a lot of people will be. Just out of principle against cancel culture. And Taylor Nolan…what a hypocrite. She was the one putting out a cancel Chris petition. The whole thing is out of control. The things she said are SO much worse! Be diverse yes, be respectful yes, cancel culture no.

  50. Honestly, after the Rachel Lindsey and Chris interview, I quit watching. And now, knowing that Chris isn’t coming back, I’m done. 21 years of watching and they’ve now turned this into a race issue and it’s ridiculous. Rachel Lindsey has thrown her fit, gotten her way, and I’ve totally lost interest, because now this show will no longer be about love, but about proving something and we’ve got enough platforms out in the world trying to prove something. We just wanted to watch some good love stories, but now that’s ruined too. So good riddance.

  51. Rachel took responsibility for her racial ignorance and the work she has yet to do to educate herself on what growing up Black in America is like as well as the fact that that clearly hurt Matt deeply. What I’m failing to comprehend is why Matt never took responsibility for choosing a white woman who couldn’t realistically possibly understand that. The fact that he wasn’t even willing to acknowledge that she couldn’t possibly know that, because she was not only white but female, and help her see what their future would be like, is unfathomable to me. He chose her. I’m my mind, if he loved her, he would have come to terms with the fact that he would need to help her with these difficulties and what lay ahead for them and their future. To lay it all at her feet was unconscionable, irresponsible, and an easy way out for him. Rachel isn’t the only one with work to do.

  52. Such a disappointing season. Matt did his best but there was too much going against him. Producers spent wayyy too much time on Victoria drama instead of getting to know the girls better. Did not have to air the horrible rumor about possible escort. Conversation with his dad crossed the line airing on tv. So unacceptable on so many levels. However, on a positive note… many many lessons learned and so happy to finally see people speaking up and demanding change. Having Emanuel Acho step in was so needed and something that should of happened a long time ago. So much work still needs to be done but happy to see progress. Time for this producers to start airing what the show was meant to be and stop focusing on petty immature bs. It’s actually embarrassing for the show and people are sick of it. Looking forward to watching Katie and Michele .

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