I’ve been thinking a lot about balance lately. We hear that term thrown around a lot these days. How do you balance it all? How do you do it all? How are you able to run a website, go to a job, raise two kids, and still look so put together? Well, the answer to all these questions is I don’t. I truly don’t have balance in my life and I don’t think anybody does.
You know the saying, there aren’t enough hours in the day? Well it’s true, there aren’t. For anybody to have balance, somehow they have to create more than 24 hours in a day. And that’s my take on it. When I’m totally focused on my kids and a All-Star mom, my work suffers. I post less on Instagram, I write less blogs, I connect with all of you less, and I suffer personally. Why is that? Because I LOVE my work. Creating my blogs and connecting with all of you about all sorts of things. It gives me a sense of purpose and community. I’ve been pretty open about this before and told you guys that I don’t have that many super close friends. I have a ton of acquaintances and girlfriends that I hang out with here and there. But truly I have only a few that I’m super close with and see all the time. And they’re busy moms themselves! So sometimes when I need to talk something through, I come to you guys and I’m so grateful for that. So I don’t wanna give that up and I shouldn’t have to just because I’m a mom. Does that make me less of a parent? Absolutely not! But when I’m working on my blog and capturing photos for it and connecting with all of you – The truth is it takes time away from my kids and my husband. But that’s life. And that’s OK. I find ways to make up for it.
In the last two weeks I think I’ve written 4 blogs. I used to write one every single day. And that’s because for the last couple weeks I’ve been really focused on my family. They come first and my work has had to suffer. And that’s also OK. I feel like it’s a constant juggling act where you give a little time to one thing and take a little bit of time from something else.
And then there are some weeks where I get four or even five blog post up in a week. And during those weeks I don’t spend as much time with my kids. during those busy work weeks, I become an expert multitasker. I usually put Molly in her learning tower with some crayons or her letter board and then stick Riley in his highchair with some snacks and hope it keeps them occupied long enough so I can answer a few emails. Or gasp, so I can get a photo up on Instagram or respond to some comments from you guys. Does it make me a bad mom that I try to distract my kids so I can get on Instagram? No it doesn’t. Whether you’re getting on Instagram for a minute for some brainless scrolling to distress or if you’re getting a Instagram to connect with people you care about. If you’re taking a few minutes to do it, that’s OK. Oh and I’ve totally put on the TV or given Molly an iPad in this exact situation. No shame here!
Side note: We got Molly this this insane crayon/marker set for her birthday and she’s going to lose her mind when she sees it. I got her a smaller version of this last year and she’ll literally spend hours taking each one out of a slot and putting them all back where they belong. We are getting another set since those markers started drying up. And yes, I definitely plan on pulling this out when I need her to stay occupied for hours so I can work. And FYI, my top in the below pic is only $12!!!!
My time with my husband has also been on the back burner recently. Between both of us working and juggling our careers and raising two kids, our love life has suffered. I know I’m not the only one out there. But we know this is just a season in our lives and that the time is coming that we will be able to focus more on us again. And that time is coming soon! I’m not willing to put us on the back burner for too long. We keep daydreaming about the day Riley turns two and will actually feel comfortable enough leaving him and Molly for a long weekend to jet down to Mexico for a romantic getaway. Seriously I get giddy just thinking about it! The idea of laying on a beach with a cocktail in my hand and my husband by my side without a care in the world sounds like… well, a dream!!!! Almost like it’s not even possible. It will be THAT good!
And spending time with our extended family has suffered recently. Kevin and I used to hop on a plane to head to see our parents and siblings all the time. But the idea of getting on a plane with a two-year-old and one-year-old is quite frankly my version of hell. Ha! We could technically keep Molly entertained with an iPad for the six hour flight. But anyone who’s had a one-year-old knows that it is impossible to keep them in one place. So, we aren’t gonna be traveling to see family this year which is a bummer, but we know is appropriate for this time in our lives.
Let me get back to that word, balance. It just doesn’t exist. And for anyone out there to suggest that it does is honestly a huge disservice to women in my opinion. Maybe you’re not a mom, and you’re a 25-year-old young woman who is trying to find her career path in way in this world. Some days you’ll have to put your friends on the back burner and miss happy hour on a Friday because you’ve decided that you want to make fitness a priority. You’d love to be able to go out with your friends and make your cycling class. But somethings got to give. Maybe you’re a stay at home mom with three kids. And you’d give just about anything for a few hours to yourself to read a book while laying next to a pool drinking a frozen cocktail – I feel you by the way, mama – but, you don’t have anyone to watch your kids and with everything on your plate at home that’s just not a possibility at the moment. By the way, if you are stay at home mom reading this, let me just tell you now that you are my hero! I truly with all of my heart believe there is no harder job in the world. Point is in all of this that if we had balance we would have it all. And nobody, I mean absolutely nobody, has it all.
Anyway, the reason I want to write this blog today is that lately I felt like we as women are made to feel like we should do it all. A woman should keep a clean house, while taking care of the kids, having sex with her husband, while having like a size 4 figure and perfectly groomed hair. Not happening, right ladies?! So as you scroll through Instagram today or read a magazine, just know that not ONE of those women you’re looking at who seems like they have it all, actually has it all. None of us have balance. None of us are perfect. We’re all just doing our best. Just wanted to write all this down in case anybody out there needed to hear that today. Love you guys!