I feel like I’m constantly on the hunt for the perfect way to spend time on myself. So often when people have kiddos, their “me time” gets put on the back burner. We want the very best for them, and this often means we forget about the self TLC that we need. I’ve started looking for ways to give myself that time, and have found a few that seem to be working for me! I thought that I would share them with you today on the blog in hopes that they will help some of you too! We’ve got this mamas!
1. HAT | 2. JEANS| 3. $10 SHIRT | 4. BAR NECKLACE
Dress for Success(ful) Me Time!
I have said this so many times before so I just want to mention it briefly. I am a firm believer it’s truly important for mental health to wear items that make us look and feel our best. I for one am most comfortable in a easy to through on top (mine is $10 FYI and I’m wearing a Medium) and jeans – like I am wearing in these pics. Quick side note, how gorgeous are these lupine flowers that we found! Anyways… this is what I would call step 1. Even if you are unable to get out of the house, putting on an outfit where you feel confident can give us such a boost! And take 5 minutes to throw on simple makeup. Tarte products are really great for that and they are natural. Anyway, I feel like this first step is a crucial step for me during my me time, because when I think I look decent, I feel so much better. And “me time” is ALL about feeling good and self care! Ok no to the real tips!
1. HAT | 2. JEANS| 3. $10 SHIRT | 4. BAR NECKLACE
Tip 1: Have Your Me-Time Scheduled
One of the ways that I have found that I am able to get the most me-time in, is to have it permanently built into the schedule! 2-3 times a week, I have chunks of time (whether they are 10 minutes, or 2 hours) on my calendar where I use that time to do whatever I want to do, just for me. I go to hot yoga, or meet a up with a friend, or get my nails done. Or really whatever I feel like doing during that time! The 2 hours time slots are usually once every month or two (let’s be real), but I like to schedule in 30 mins here and there throughout the week to stay sane. I totally recommend getting a planner, like this one, and using it to keep track of your (crazy busy) schedule! I use a planner, white board in my kitchen AND my phone to try to keep track of… well – life with kids!
By planning this time into your schedule, you are making a commitment to yourself. I know it seems hard to plan me-time into your schedule when your life revolves around your kiddos, BUT this time for yourself benefits the both of you. It gives you the recharge that you need in order to be your best self for you little babes! For you, that may be going on a walk, getting to the gym, or even just time to read a book. One suggestion that I recently read about was making a list of things that you like to do for yourself that take different increments of time, like 10 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour.. etc. That way when it comes time for your scheduled me time, or you happen to have a moment to yourself organically, then you can remember all the things you love to do for yourself that fit into that time frame!
You might have noticed in my post the other day that I got in some pool time! I scheduled some childcare so that I could take a little time to myself and tan by the pool with a virgin cocktail! I cannot tell you the last time I did that! Oh! And I have to mention that my swimsuit top is only $7. I know this post isn’t about my purchases, but I cannot NOT share this since it is so cheap! I’ll pop the photo in here again so you can see what I mean! It has the perfect amount of coverage, especially if your girls are like mine and don’t look like they used to. Ha! I also found sunnies identical to mine for only $9.
1. BIKINI TOP| 2. SUNGLASSES | 3. SIMILAR $9 SUNNIES | 4. SELF TANNER
Tip #2 : Hair Goals
As moms, it’s no secret that a lot of the time we just throw our hair up and call it a day. Sometimes it is days before we actually get around to showering, let alone washing our hair! For me, this is a big one and it has slowly gotten a little easier now that both Molly and Riley are sleep trained. BUT I have come to realize that having my hair done is such a treat for me – and that is why this trick is all about treating your hair like the gorgeous built-in accessory that it is!
There are multiple ways to do this! First of all, I would make sure that all of your hair appointments (for cut and color) are scheduled well in advance. That way no matter what, you know that you will be getting treated at least that one time. Not to mention that a lot of the time when it actually becomes time to get our hair done, we are busy and so is our hairdresser! It becomes a Tetris game trying to find free time in both the hairdressers schedule and our own that work together. So definitely, definitely plan those in advance! You will feel so much better knowing that it is on the calendar and when it comes around (faster than you would think) it will feel so great to get that time to yourself.
1. HAT | 2. JEANS| 3. $10 SHIRT | 4. BAR NECKLACE
Another way that you could treat yourself that can happen as often or as little as you like would be to get a blow out! I know this idea may seem slightly far fetched at first, but just hear me out. One of the most relaxing feelings, at least for me, is having a scalp massage! When you get a blow out, not only do they blow try your hair, but they give you a full wash. And the time it takes, is basically equivalent to the time that it would take to do it yourself – without the distractions! Usually about 35-45 minutes, including wash and dry time! If you could get in just an hour to leave the house, this would be the perfect quick pampering treatment, that will leave you with clean hair, that is styled and ready to go! Usually for me, this means that I am now in the clear of washing my hair for a couple of days! Not to mention you guys feel all around put together!!!
The last hair tip doesn’t involve leaving the house! Much like getting yourself into one of your favorite outfits, having your hair done is one of the best go-to feel goods! Even if you can’t leave the house on a given day, just being able to do your hair can make life feel more put together. One of my friends recently recommended this Beachwaver, where you only have to section your hair into about five pieces! She said it takes her only about 5 minutes to have perfect hair. I haven’t tried it but I trust her. I found some refurbished ones that are almost 50% off! It curls the hair for you, and leaves you with flowy beachy waves! I know I will have to try it soon, so I thought I’d share it since it is such a fast option! I also use dry shampoo to make my hair last a little longer in between washes. I’m always switching it up regarding what I use, so here’s a bunch of options at different price points!
Tip #3: Trade Your Time with Friends
I know that it can become hard to get childcare just for me-time, especially if you’re on a budget! I have found the perfect solution for this! Remember how I said going to the blow dry bar only takes about an hour? Or how in my schedule, I set time for myself? There’s no doubt in my mind that your mama friends want this time for themselves too! So here’s where you use each other as the best form of care! Free care!
Swap hours watching the kids here and there so you can get in that much needed time for yourself, without worrying about the cost. You can drop your kids off for an hour while you head to get a blow out, grab some lunch on your own (or with another friend!), or head to a workout class. And you can offer the same to them! Mamas helping mamas, I love it! This is even something you can add into your schedule. Once a week, you can watch each others kids at the same exact time! This will even help with the kiddos schedules, because they will get used to this, even if it is only a short amount of time! I’ve just started doing this, and already loving it!
1. HAT | 2. JEANS| 3. $10 SHIRT | 4. BAR NECKLACE
Truly, the time you spend on yourself matters! Even if it’s just a little bit here and there! Scheduling in some me time as made all the difference in the world for me, and I hope it helps you too! What do you do for yourself? I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments below.
27 thoughts on “Quick Tips for “Me Time””
This is such a great topic, thank you for sharing your self care ideas Ali! I agree with all of these. Having a glass of wine in the evening and watching an episode of something on Netflix or DVR is also a big one for me!
That is our thing EVERY night too! We had the news on this morning for 5 mins and I realized that I haven’t watched the news in over a year! I am so not up to date on current events. But we just don’t watch TV anymore beside one show at the end of the night. Can’t have the news on with kiddos around.
How true about the news. When my grandkids are over here, we keep the TV off except if we are watching a show with them. The news is not fit for any little ones to hear anymore, and I even have to have my finger on the mute button or remote even for commercials if they show an upcoming movie clip that is inappropriate or something that they ask questions about. I don’t really want to explain Erectile Disfunction to my 6 year old grandson, who loves to watch our local football and baseball sporting events, and yes, they show those commercials.
What size are you wearing in the top??
A medium. Definitely not for women with bigger chests. The buttons wuldn’t button right. I am going to review it more fully on here on Friday!
Thank you for writing this article! My son is almost 16 months and I really haven’t scheduled in any “me” time..it’s a weird time of being elated watching my little one grow, but mentally exhausted from not having the breaks. My husband is a huge help but he is currently doing a renovation and when he’s not at work he’s there..kudos to all the single parents out there, I don’t know how you do it! You’ve truly spoken to me, that it’s ok to schedule those breaks and ask for help! Thanks girly..love your little family and how real you are! I appreciate your honesty and real ness in all of your Instagram stories/blog!
Having ‘me time’ is so important. I like to drive to a park along the Detroit River (on the Canadian side) to watch the boats & barges go by.
People watching, too. 😉
I like taking my dog, Lucy for a walk.
That sounds so wonderful!!! I would love to do something like that!
I find that dressing up for me time really helps! If I look good, then I automatically feel good. Even if I’m just staying home! 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
Thanks for posting this Ali. Mom’s NEED mom time!!
A couple years ago my girlfriend’s and I started a “fun moms group.” Aka kid free and in the evenings when our husbands are home to be with the kids. were pretty consistent about doing it monthly and we’ve done paint nights, hay rides, wine tastings and even went to Vegas for a weekend! I swear it’s what keeps my same with 3 like kids!!
Love this post. I like to read books but with 2 young kiddos and one on the way, I don’t have a ton of time. Sometimes I’ll read just a chapter before bed. I also keep it affordable by getting books from the library. A lot of libraries now have apps and books you can check put digitally. ❤️📚 And I completely agree about scheduling a hair appointment in advance.
Awesome tips Ali! I’ll definitely be trying this once our second one arrives (any day now)
For me right now I have a 3 year old daughter and usually I take her nap time as my me time. Whether it’s to shower, blow dry my hair or make myself a tea and a fun snack and pop on an episode of my favourite tv show. It’s nice to have that down time at home! But I do feel it’s so important to get out of the house as much as you can too! I will for sure try to do that once the weather gets nicer here!
The one thing I wish more women would do/ be careful of is how they post about “mom self care.” Single moms, moms who have zero family or friends nearby etc. do NOT get to get away or even get to put clothes on by themselves. It’s suffocating and reading about how you aren’t a good mom if you are running on empty or not “filling your cup” only makes it harder on them. Or watching what feels like every other woman on the planet go on girls nights, spa days, workouts, quiet time alone etc. is nothing short of demoralizing.
Sometimes I wish people would be careful about preaching too much in terms of self care. There are women who can’t and NEVER get a break.
Thank you for some of your simple things. That’s actually helpful. I appreciate your tact in approaching the very popular subject.
As a single Mum working full time, and add a special needs child to the mix – I totally second this. For the last 15 years I have had almost zero me time, just getting more than 6 hours sleep is hard. A girls night out, a spa, the gym, going out for a quiet coffee – what are these things? Even watching TV is a mystery for me.
Having said that, now I’m coming out the other side… I have no idea what to do with myself. So for those of you with zero me time – it does change.
My kids are now teenagers, and really don’t want to hang out with Mum.
Suddenly I have found myself with a little bit of time, and to be honest I really don’t know what to do with myself as its been such a long time.
This is wonderful to hear! And a big congratulations to you!!! You did it!!!!
Hoping as this “mom self care movement” continues, people will be aware of how they post to be sensitive to those who it just can’t happen for. Thank you for responding!!! You give us hope for survival and success!!!!
Hi Ali,I love your posts about everything. I loved the play area with big rug covered. What size is it? I want to get big rug but not overly big.
This is lots of good tips for moms, although I very rarely had ‘me’ time when my three were little, or at least not until they went to bed. For me, since they were at sitters during the day while I worked, it seemed unfair nor did I want to have them with sitters at night. Also, when I first had kids, I worked days and my husband worked nights. Then, when I was a single mom, well, ‘me’ time just doesn’t exist then….however, all that being said, I used to read after they went to bed, and boy did I enjoy that! Sometimes it took me forever to get through a book, but that was my time! And then, the few times when all 3 of them were invited to a birthday party, I would drop them off and go the grocery store ALL BY MYSELF. Haha. Now they are in their 30s/40s with their own kiddos and I have tons of ‘Me’ time!
I know this will sound crazy but any tips for how NOT ago feel guilty about taking this time? My husband works so he is always out and about without kids. But being a stay at home mom, I crave time to myself but then feel guilty the second I leave. Like I should be there with my husband and kids or I’m “bailing.” We also have an out of town wedding in 2 weeks, we will be gone for 40 hours total (2 nights), but I’m having so much anxiety over leaving my 9 month old and 2 year old that I’m worried I won’t even be able to enjoy it. Meanwhile, my husband is counting down in excitement lol! WHY IS THIS A THING?!
I hear ya! I call it mum guilt. I have battled with this guilt since my daughter was born over 2 years ago. I have now a 3 month old son as well and still working in this. What I have found helps so far is to TALK about it. I talk to people about it all the time and tell the guilt it is not welcome or needed. Good helpful quotes help. I Google quotes all the time. Last but not least, mindfully switch your brain “off” and just dare to take that time to yourself. Just do it. Try to lose yourself in whatever you are doing. Next time you do it it will be a tiny little bit easier..and over time you will actually feel good about it. All the best to you. Go and get your time ♡
I definitely do not take time for myself and I really need to start! Thanks for this blog! My little one is 8.5 and I just feel guilty taking time. Maybe if it’s 10-20 mins after I put my baby to sleep I feel like would be a good start. Xoxo
I just want to say that i think the things you write are truly inspiring. I have loved you since you were on the Bachelor!! You are such a great Mom and i think your husband is adorable, so happy you found your perfect love..❤
Great post, so important!
Just wondering (no judgement) if you got botox again recently? I’m curious as I’m approaching the point where I’m considering it also. Wondering about price, process, how frequent do you need to go etc.
I have two little ones that are the same age as yours! For the past few years I have been so wrapped up in pregnancies, and babies and breastfeeding and just the craziness that these littles bring, that I have definitely put myself last. At the beginning of this year I promised myself I would start doing things for ME again, especially now that the neediness of breastfeeding is over 🙌. Its usually just a spin class or a short (kid free) walk but it’s good for the soul. And I booked a girls weekend to Toronto this summer 😬😬 (already nauseous at the thought of going !)
Definitely tried to dress for me today. I thought “who cares if I’m staying home all day? I’ll feel great in my brand new shirt”. And I made it halfway downstairs before my baby spit up on it! Oh well!
This is such a good blog post and a really important topic. There’s a dj/tv presenter here in the uk, called Fearne Cotton who you should follow on Instagram, she is full of inspirational ideas on this and other general mental health care.
I love following you and your lovely family, keep up the amazing job you do to inspire woman, mummies and daddies!!
I totally needed this today, the guilt I feel sometime is real. I need to realize it’s okay to take a little time to myself and that I don’t have to be constantly doing something in the house, work or playing with her. Thanks for always sharing and being open.
I love these ideas, Ali! I scheduled a mani/pedi with my two best girlfriends for this weekend after I read this post 🙂 Looking forward to some self-love and fun girl time. My husband loves his alone time with our little 7 month old girl, so it’s a win-win!