Happy New Year!!!! I know I know, I’m a little bit late. As you guys may have noticed, I’ve been pretty MIA both here my blog and social media lately. Honestly I needed a break. I needed to disconnect from the Internet. Unplug and unwind. I originally wanted to because it was the holidays and I really wanted to focus as much as I could on my family and spending as much quality time with them as possible. So I promised myself I was going to take a few days off of my blog. And I’m so glad I did. From December 20th (which is the last day that I blogged) until Christmas day, I was so happy and relaxed. I went from spending about 7 hours a day on my phone (I have Apple’s screen time feature to thank for giving me that number. I can’t believe I spent that much time a day on my phone!), to spending almost no time on my phone at all. It felt weird but it felt nice. And I can say that this Christmas with Molly was absolutely magical! The excitement and magic of it all and seeing it through her eyes is something I’ll never forget. She got all the “pink wrapped presents” she asked Santa for, a Moana crabby and a Molly-sized police car that she drives around – her favorite thing to do is arrest Riley and give him time outs. Ha! And of course it was Riley’s very first Christmas as well. And everything he’s a part of is just better because he’s such an awesome little dude!
1. MOLLY’S CAR | 2. MY JACKET
But the plan after Christmas was to jump back into my blog. I wanted to recap my 2018 and thank all of you for making this little blog/business of mine so successful this year. I want to talk about my New Year’s resolutions, or really my lack of New Year’s resolutions. This year I really just want to focus on accepting myself, loving myself and being the most authentic version of me. I planned on writing about all of this and encouraging you all to do the same. But every time I would sit in front of my computer I would stare at it blankly for sometimes up to an hour almost paralyzed. I couldn’t start. I couldn’t move. I didn’t know what was up with me and I started to get down. So then I thought I’d go to social media for some inspiration. Reading my comments from you guys always invigorates me because I know I’m touching peoples lives out there and that’s what keeps me going every day. But after I would read some of your amazing comments, I’d start scrolling my feed and crippling anxiety would take over me. I was seeing all the things people were doing all over the country with their families and I started to feel sad. And it was the weirdest thing to me because I have the best family ever! Not only my extended family but my little family of Kevin, Molly, Riley and our dog Owen. I am so incredibly fortunate and lucky to have such an incredible family to call my own. So why was I feeling depressed about what other people were doing with their families? I couldn’t figure it out.
1. JUMPSUIT | 2. RUG | 3. DRESSER | 4. HEADBOARD | 5. FAUX TULIPS
It finally dawned on me that maybe I was suffering from postpartum depression. Is it possible to suffer from postpartum depression late in the first year? So I started googling it right away. I knew of course that many people get down around the holidays, but this seemed like something more to me. And I’ve never really been the type of person to feel sad after Christmas was over. So through my research I saw that women can actually experience postpartum depression anytime within the first year after giving birth. More specifically, I was googling postpartum depression at 7 months postpartum (since that’s what I am right now). And I found so many stories of women that experienced it at this exact time. Also, I just got that D & C surgery to remove the leftover placenta in my uterus and that has really thrown my hormones out of whack. It totally messed up my cycle (yes I got my cycle back at three months postpartum even though I’ve been breastfeeding consistently). So I thought maybe that had something to do with my hormones and could possibly be postpartum depression.
I talked to Kevin about it and of course he was more than supportive. He told me to take anytime I needed and he would help me in anyway he could. So for a couple days I napped a lot. Which at first made me feel worse because I felt like I wasn’t being a good parent. But after a few days of that I started to force myself to get out of the house, and I felt so much better. Almost instantly honestly.Which made me wonder if that’s why some people feel down around the holidays. I mean I know people feel down for a number of reasons, especially if they’re having a hard time in their life or if they aren’t very close with their families. The holidays can be a very hard time for many. But I also think it has something to do with being cooped up in your home for an extended period of time. Taking time off of work is so important, and not only did I take time off of my blog but I took time off of the show I work on so I really didn’t leave the house much over my holiday break. And I think staying cooped up inside just kind of drove me a little crazy. Once I started getting outside more I started to feel better. But the day I really started feeling like myself again was this Wednesday when I went back to work at Home & Family for the first time. Some of you may have seen on Instagram story that I did a story saying that I was feeling better and apologizing for being MIA for so long.
1. JUMPSUIT | 2. RUG | 3. BASKET
Anyway, all this got me thinking. Do I have a bit of postpartum depression? I’m not sure. I snapped out of it so quickly and getting out of the house and working again almost instantly made me feel better. Maybe it was a situational small bout of depression? I’m still not 100% but I’m MUCH better. Depression runs in my family so I’m very aware of it and it’s something that I’m constantly on the lookout for. I’ve seen what it can do to people and it’s absolutely devastating. Not only for the person experiencing it, but for their family as well. So I just want to do mental health checks with myself more often. Make sure I’m not only taking care of myself physically, but more importantly mentally. And sometimes the two of those things go hand-in-hand. So while I thought I didn’t have any New Year’s resolutions besides accepting myself, I actually think I do have one. And that’s making sure I’m taking care of my mental state in 2019. It’s so important and it’s something that I don’t want to forget.
Anyway, I feel like I’ve rambled a little bit in this blog. I just wanted to explain to you guys where I’ve been for the last couple weeks and be open about what I experienced. I encourage you guys to share your stories as well as you know I read all the comments on my blog and respond to most of them. I love you guys and I thank you for all the support and I’m hoping to move forward in 2019 refreshed and ready to connect with all of you on an even deeper level!
144 thoughts on “Postpartum Depression? Holiday Blues? A Mental Health Check In”
Thank you for sharing! I have an 8 month old and felt practically the same way a few months ago! I’m so glad there are others that go through the same thing!
Thanks for reading Kayla! Sounds like you are feeling better! I hope so!
You are Amazing!!!!! Prayers for you all… Hang in there. Motherhood is tough, but oh so rewarding.
My baby is going on 18 months and I still have postpartum I also went through it with my first child.dont like the feeling at all….who does…lol? I’m waiting on health insurance to go get help
Hang in there girl, you’re amazing! Yes depression is a horrible feeling, and for no reason it comes on
Thank you for sharing. I have a 6 month old and first time mom. I didn’t go back to work but actually have the “luxury” as my husband would say to work from home full time. Sometimes I go days with out leaving the house but I use excuse like. It’s okay it’s freezing out I didn’t want to leave anyways. But I find myself when I do have the opportunity to leave and get our for a couple hours on my own I’m rushing back home to be with the baby. I get waves of sadness for no reason but I’ve started working out again ( at home) but it instantly makes me feel better. My 2019 resolution is to try n relax more when I get the chances.
We missed you! Glad you are doing well now!
I MISSED ME!!!! I missed you guys too!
I had anxiety really bad after holiday. Crippling anxiety! I also live in Canada and the weather has been rainy and dark for weeks no sunshine. Anxiety is very situational for me mostly but right now it’s for I reason other than weather. Plan on getting on an exercise program to help it. Thank you for sharing! I have grown children do not post part I’m just weather and self esteem issues from recent weight gain. Menopausal.
I think exercise is going to be KEY for me. Not to lose weight but just to FEEL good and to get out of the house.
I’ve been in a bit of a slump too accompanied by anxiety and can’t blame postpartum (my boys are teenagers)😊. Exercise definitely helps me feel better, especially helps with anxiety (and I haven’t been to the gym in a couple weeks). Hang in there! I appreciate your honesty and enjoy reading your blog posts. 😊
Exercise is key! For me, it’s just 2-3 days a week for my mental health! I’m not trying to lose weight either (3year old + 3 month old)… but the mood swings are for REAL! I get out (even if it’s for a 30 minute brisk walk in my neighborhood alone) and it makes alll the difference! And my husband appreciates it too because my mood is much improved!
Thanks for being down to earth and honest! It makes other mothers like myself feel less alone!
Thank you for saying this Ali! I had my little girl 8 months ago and I started to feel sad this last week or so and I think that maybe being in the house and not getting out as much may be part of it too! I’m a SAHM now after my second was born so it’s been quite an adjustment. I started to wonder if I was having post partum but I got out with the kids yesterday and honestly it felt like a really great day! Also my parents watched the kids for a couple hours so I could go run some errands. I think it’s important too for us to check in with ourselves and as moms I find that me and my friends check in with each other to see how we’re feeling and offer support. It’s inportant to talk about mental health and I love that you are sharing how you’re feeling! Thank you for always being open and honest! ❤️
It’s good to know that anxiety doesn’t just happen to some of us! Glad you are doing better!
I want to wish you & your beautiful family a Happy Healthy New Year. Always make sure you take some time for yourself each day, even if it’s just to have a cup of coffee & look at a magazine for a half hour , you deserve a break from the daily routine, sometimes known as “daily craziness”. You’re doing a great job Ali. 😘♥️
For me it’s always different after a hot relaxing bath and a good nights sleep.
I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster, I have highs and lows and it is so rough! So glad you are feeling better! Can I ask if you ever started Riley in formula? I have a 6 month old and I recently had an episode of Mastitis that killed my supply. I can’t seem to get it back up and I’m really down about it. Going to look I go formula this week but was wondering if you found one that worked for Riley?
I use Holle and it’s great. I was devastated not to breastfeed any longer and this formula has made me feel better about it. I buy it from http://www.organicbabyshop.com; it’s German and sort of hard to find. The consistency even resembles breast milk more than other formulas and my son’s poops are similar to breast milk poops also (well…it’s important)! Just wanted to share :).
I forgot to say that I do add Baby’s DHA and probiotics to the formula. All of this is a recommendation from a nutritionist. The DHA is from Nordic Naturals and the probiotics is from Klaire Labs. Worth looking into!
Thank you so much!
My daughter was nearly 2 before I was diagnosed with late onset postpartum depression. It started out as a day or so of feeling really down, I would be able to pull myself out of it. But eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t pull myself out. I would be down for weeks and weeks. It was effecting me of course, but also my kids and husband. I just chalked it up to being tired, overwhelmed, overbooked and ignored it for so long. I eventually went to my dr and was prescribed medication to help me manage it and I have to say after a few days I felt like my old self. An old self I had actually forgotten all about! I didn’t realize how bad I had gotten until I could see and feel clearly again. I still have bad days but I know they are old temporary. Mental health is SO important and I think your resolution to focus on that in 2019 is the best thing you can do for not only yourself but your family. Thank you for always being so open and honest. Just know you are NOT alone.
I literally could have written this! I went through the same thing over break- how could I be envious of everyone on Instagram and Facebook? As if their holidays were “better” than mine. I have the most amazing family, husband, and 2 kids…. I was napping A LOT over my break (I work at a university and we were closed for 2 weeks) and I was feeling so “blah”…. I actually called my mom and asked if she thought I was depressed! I went back to work Wednesday and felt SO much better- my energy returned, I felt happier, and felt productive. I had some guilt about this, feeling like I shouldn’t be excited to leave my husband/kids, who just had 2 weeks off with me, but work is something that is a part of me and I love my job. So I decided not to feel guilty- I don’t feel 100%, but so much better already. Thanks for sharing- I don’t feel so alone!
I love your resolution! It is a great reminder for all of us to make time to nuture ourselves.
Happy New Year!
I feel like saying ‘Don’t ever apologize for shutting off the media and spending time with your family’ but I know that this is your business as well. Still take all the family time and me time you need..your true fans will understand!!❤
Happy New Year Ali! First, I wanted to say thank you for posting a few months back about how your 4th trimester went at home with the transition to 2. It helped me so much. My daughter (2nd child) is two months now and I feel like your explanation has been spot on. She’s SO different than my son and cries the second we put her down. Its been such a rough go but Im always encouraged by your vulnerability and honesty here. Second, I wanted to see if you’ve read the postnatal depletion cure! I havent yet but plan to get the book this week…its all related to how diminished we are after birth and nursing and it doesn’t always hit us right away, in combination with our fatigue, contributing to some depression and a HUGE lack of vitamin D during this season. All the best to you and your family!
Hi Ali, am interested to know, when you do a ‘mental health check in’ what steps do you take? What questions do you ask yourself? I have an 8m/o and mostly feel happy and content but do feel fairly overwhelmed at times as well which seems fairly normal but I’m not sure how to get the perspective you talk about x
Hi Ali! Thank you for always being so honest, you definitely make a difference in peoples lives. I don’t have a baby yet, but I got my masters in mental health counseling and specialized in postpartum depression. It’s amazing how many more women are talking about it and breaking down the stigma :). I think equating mental and physical health is so important and still lacks in society, so thank you for making that connection! All the best 🙂
Your post came at the most perfect time. I have a 3yo and a 2mo old, and this past week has been really rough. I have history of depression, and have been worried that this “funk” I have been in was postpartum depression. Unsure if it is, but I agree that it is so important to validate how you feel, and get the help. It helps to know that I am not alone, and I truly appreciate your vulnerability and honesty. Hugs to you, Ali. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this. So often, we only see happy happy posts on social media, it’s great that you share all sides of life 🙂 So happy you’re feeling better and so happy to see you back (so I can go back to stealing your fashion ideas haha). Happy New Year 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing and helping to remove the stigma of anxiety and depression. I have anxiety myself and definitely know what you mean with the conflicted feelings and thoughts. Nothing is “wrong” but things feel wrong. Power to you mama…keep on keeping on 💗
Thanks for your honesty, Ali! I think as parents, we focus so much on our kiddos that we neglect our own needs. I think that may have had something to do with the way you’re feeling. I felt similar after I had my daughter. Maybe once in a while, go out to lunch/dinner/brunch/coffee/ (whatever!) With your girlfriends! That helps me a lot!
Glad your feeling more yourself. I live in a very cold state in the winter and we had to put an extra window in our living room because the darkness was making me feel down in the winter. I definitely agree that not getting out can make you depressed. I have to leave the house at least once a day or I go crazy!
PS we got our boys an electric car for CMAs.. But since we live somewhere cold they’ve been driving it in our house and ruined our wood floor haha so worth it to see the house it brings them!
Thank you for talking so openly about this! I struggle on and off with depression… it can come on for absolutely no reason. But other times I do think too much social media sets me off too. Looking at what other people are doing, have etc. I know I have an amazing family and friends and have just what I need in life, but sometimes seeing the other stuff makes me depressed.
Love following you and your adorable family. Thank you for being so real 🙂
Thank you for sharing! I have been feeling the exact same way for the last few weeks. I am a stay at home mom of two kiddos that are about the same ages as yours (2.5 yr old daughter and 10 month old son). As you know, having two kids so young and so close in age is tough but I feel like it’s only been getting more difficult (shouldn’t it get easier?). To the point where I was on the verge of breaking down nearly everyday, bringing myself to tears at least once a day. My husband has been gone a lot this year (his father recently passed away from brain cancer) and we live in a newer town without many friends and family close by. As you said, I’ve been couped up inside for too long with two little kids that need 100% of me and it finally started to break me down. The moral of the story is I feel you and cheers to taking care of ourselves in 2019… because you can’t pour from an empty cup! Xo
I’m so grateful to you for always being so open! I have a history of both severe anxiety and severe depression, and with both of my pregnancies I’ve dealt with extremely severe anxiety both during and after. It’s something I’ll have to face and be aware of for my entire life. That being said, I had a very similar experience right after Christmas this year. My husband took a week and a half off which meant a lot of just hanging around the house in our pjs. I’m a stay at home mom and it really messed with the schedule I have for myself and our two girls. I make it a point to get up and get dressed every morning, but I wasn’t doing that while my husband was off, and I was SO tired! I frequently fell asleep on the couch while the girls played in the morning and my husband made breakfast. It was so strange, and I felt like I was slipping deeper and deeper some days. My husband went back to work Wednesday, and while I LOVE having him home, it truly felt like a weight was lifted. My girls and I have been getting back into our own routine which has really helped my mood. It truly is amazing to see how much our moods can be impacted by any change in routine.
You always impress me with you ability to be YOURSELF – thank you! I sometimes tend to take on others sadness, so even if I am in a great place, if other people in my life are struggling, I find myself falling in a slump. I have to pull myself out by getting out, and writing down blessings in my own life. It took me so long to figure it out! I hope each day continues to be better.
I was wondering where you’ve been! Glad you are feeling MUCH better. Mental Health is so important. I need to work on that too. 🙁 I get sad a lot and it’s even worse around Christmas.
Would you be interested in doing a blog on what you did/do to take care of your Mental Health? I’d love to hear what works/doesn’t work for you.
I have watched you since bachelor days and I Love your realness on IG and your blog. Thank you for your honesty. Love watching your cutest children growing up. With love from South Africa.
Even being on vacation yet cooped up in a hotel room with my family can cause a bit of craziness for me. All of our moods and needs are in each other’s face all the time! I agree with you that our daily (work/school) routine is comforting. Thanks for being brave enough to share your authentic self.
Thank you for sharing! It’s so nice to hear other moms be vulnerable and talk about their mental health. I have an almost 11 month old and expressed the worst anxiety/depression from months 2-5 post Partum — it is awful! Now being on the other side of it, I want others to better understand the warning signs and options. Glad to hear you had a wonderful holiday! Always enjoy your blog, never feel guilty for ME time. 🙂
Thank you for always keeping it real and bring so transparent with us. You are truly one of my favorite parts of Instagram-love following you and your sweet family! You were missed and I’m glad you’re feeling better 🙂
I got teary reading this because I experienced depression and anxiety for the first time in my life in 2018. I felt kind of blindsided by it and really frustrated. I, too, have depression in the family so I knew what was happening, but couldn’t figure out what triggered it. Long story short, I found out that my thyroid was pretty out of whack and that was messing with my hormones. Once I got my hormones under control, I started feeling lots better. I’m super aware of my mental health now and my word for 2019 is HEAL. I’m looking forward to hearing how you focus on yours this year. Please blog about it! It’s helpful to learn from each other and also to know you are not alone! Hugs. 🙂
Hi Ms. Ali,
I’m sorry you have been feeling down. You are a terrific mother, wife, and person. Sometimes when we get caught up in our own negative thinking of ourselves we forget that people don’t view us the same way we view ourselves. Keep up your hard work and I’m glad you are better now. Have a good weekend😊
Hey Ali! Thanks for sharing – this is so normal for mama’s. I go through it to. Can I share something that really helped me that I now swear by and SO many fellow moms/wives (and husbands) now take. My OBGYN told me about an over the counter all natural supplement called SAM-E. It is for “mood enhancement and joint pain”. I used to take a prescribed antidepressant and anxiety pill and now I just take one of these a day and it has helped me SO much. And so many others. Just wanted to share because I shared on my Instagram and a lot of people messages me thanking me because they had never heard about it. It truly helped give me that boost! So glad you’re feeling better and thanks for being real and sharing your struggles. ♥️
Would you mind telling me the brand Sam-e and the mg you are taking?
I use nature’s made and 400 mg. I tried the doctors best but it was more expensive
Thank you for posting this.:) I’ve struggled with anxiety & joint pain with my hypothyroidism. I’m going to try this to keep from using antidepressants if I can get away with it. It’s worth trying.
I think what you went through, many people go through but don’t talk about it. I know I go through bouts of feeling down here and there during the year. Often, like you, when I’ve been cooped up at home or haven’t been social for a bit. Personally, I’ve had a few more bouts this past year as I’m currently 10 months post partum and am still on mat leave and am home all the time. Hopefully, speaking out about taking charge of your mental health will encourage others.
Glad to see you are back. You do need to remember to take those rest times, especially with 2 young children and working full time (and then some I’m sure). Taking that extra time is sooooo important. I think your body was trying to tell you something. Good thing you listened.
Cheers to a Happy and Safe 2019!
Carla from OH
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself, Ali. Not only the good things but also the not so good/uncomfortable things going on in your life. I agree that excersize is HUGE at aleviating any sort of blues / anxiety / stress. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself! Even if it’s just a walk around the block.
As always, Ali, thank you for your honesty! I’ve missed your posts especially because I’ve been in a real shopping mood and waiting to see your latest recs. 🙂 I’m a Mom to a 5 year old girl and 3 year old (today!) boy and I also felt pretty awful after being cooped up at home for over a week. I went back to work Wednesday and felt like myself again. Routines are what keep me sane and holidays/vacations throw everything, including me, out of whack. I love having quality time home with my kids but I am also so grateful to go back to the grind of real life. I do know the hormones and nursing and all of that make things that much harder to deal with. Good for you for taking time for yourself. Also – I find myself getting depressed if I am on facebook too much. I made a rule with myself that I only go on facebook on my real computer during daylight hours and it has helped me immensely. No mindless scrolling on my phone at night (I deleted the app) and I’m a lot happier focusing on myself/family instead of constantly looking at what others are doing. Just a thought! No need to stop with social media entirely, especially because that is how you make part of your living, but you can set limits that can be really helpful for your mental health.
As a momma who dealt with some PPA/PPD, I just want to say, “THANK YOU!” Thank your giving yourself the time to work through it in your own way, but also for using this amazing platform you have to spread awareness of PPA/PPD in any way. It’s definitely something that needs to be talked about more so more mommas know it’s okay to not feel okay! Glad you’ve bounced back! You have been missed!
Thank you for this blog! I’ve been experiencing this too lately. I’m 4 months post partum with my second baby and I’ve been feeling like I’ve been in a funk lately too. I’m a stay at home mom so I’m literally ALWAYS home. Also NYE did really go as planned for me as I would have liked and that upset me more than I’d like to admit so I’m not sure if that started my funky mood or not. I didn’t experience post partum depression with my first so maybe this could be a minor post partum depression for me. I don’t know. But thank you for bringing that up in this blog. PPD needs to be talked about more because it is a real thing!
Hey Ali! I had postpartum depression/anxiety, crippling at 9 months post- partum. I like you, had babies close together ( 13 months to be exact) and I think all of my hormones and drastic changes in my life CRASHED all at once. I found myself alone in my house with my two babies, and not physically able to pick up my baby because of my anxiety, luckily I had a close family member I could call and I went straight to my OB…. they were AMAZING, and with just TALKING about what I was feeling and medication for a bit ( I’m not on anymore) I was back to myself… It was scary and depression runs in my family as well so it really freaked me out! Thanks for being so open about it and letting other women know that they are not alone!
Glad to have you back, Ali!
Kudos to writing a well-expressed, relevant article to start off the year. I experienced similar feelings last January and February, so much so that I went to a therapist because I thought I was depressed. Although therapy helped, I too found that getting outside (Vitamin D) and doing things I love (like running) helped me the most. It sounds so obvious, but when you are in a low and/or paralyzed state, it’s hard to think clearly.
I’m glad both you and I are feeling better!
PS – I love the “Gift Guide” section of your blog! Is that new, or did I somehow miss this before?
Ali, thank your for sharing! Happy New Year – glad to hear you’re feeling better. We missed you. I have an almost 4 month old, and recently went back to working (I work from home some days, go into the office some days, and teach nights!) and I have not been feeling like myself. I have been feeling like I am being a mediocre mom and a mediocre employee/business owner. Today, I was working from home and couldn’t even get myself to answer emails or get dressed. I decided to take my little one for a walk, and it totally flipped my day around! I am now being productive (well, and taking a small break from that productivity to read your blog! ha!) and my little one is down for a nap. It’s refreshing to talk about mental health – and sometimes you just need a little break and a breathe of fresh air (literally) to get back to feeling like yourself. xx
Thanks for being so open and honest! I experience really bad post partum anxiety starting around month 6-7 and it lasted until my baby was about 10 months. It was so strange and I wasn’t prepared because a.) I think everyone warns you about post partum depression but not as much about post partum anxiety (although they can go together!) and b.) I thought you only had to worry about that in the first few months! I didn’t even connect it to being post partum anything until I was much better and could look back at it from a new perspective. It’s so great you are doing mental health checks on yourself and getting out of the house + exercise is huge! You’ll probably never know for sure if it was related to post partum hormones but it sounds like you are doing all the right things to feel good! And phone/social media breaks periodically are so good for the soul. So glad you are feeling better xo
Thank you for being so open and real!! Wishing nothing but the best for you and your family this year!!
I can totally relate to you, Ali! I don’t have any kids, but I felt down and sad right after Christmas too! I’m glad you brought up the point about being cooped up at home, because that’s what I think it has to do with too. Getting back to work helps as you mentioned, and thinking about all the exciting things coming each and every day helps too. Writing in a journal with question prompts first thing in the morning with a cup of coffee helps me if you haven’t tried that! Xoxo -Kelly
Thanks for sharing. I’m currently pregnant with twins, my 2nd & 3rd and have had SO much anxiety during this pregnancy that I didn’t experience with my first. We were really thrown for a loop when we found out we were having twins and I’m so scared about so many things. I’m really worried this pregnancy anxiety will manifest into PPD or PPA after the babies are born in a few weeks, so I’ve made sure to give my Husband and best friends a heads up because I want to be really aware of my feelings and emotions to hopefully catch it, if it does happen.
what a true and honest post Ali! I think the baby blues are definetley normal and you did all the right things in order to help yourself. Leaning on your biggest support system your hubby is so important! That’s why they are there right to help us be our best selves. I got prescribed a low dosage of lexapro when my second turned a year for my anxiety and it has helped me so much! I always think back to that analagoy used on the airplane please secure your oxygen mask first before helping your child with theirs. Stay strong and enjoy your little ones this time is so precious 🙂
Much love from Chicago! xxoo suzanne
Wow, thank you for sharing! I’m 8 months postpartum and the PPD hit me like a wall a few weeks ago. I try to stay away from the internet and “the google” in general when parenting questions strike, so thank you for having the courage to post. Wishing you sunshine!
Thank u so much for sharing! My little guy is 3 months and I have been feeling the same way since christmas….At first I thought it was the holidays…In the past few years I have recently lost my parents and my uncle…but like you it felt more then that…I have been trying to stay busy ..I have 5 kids so I always am…but im feeling blah….I havent yet said anything to my husband but listening to what you said…Im going to tonight…Thank u so much for letting me know im not alone…im sure a lot of us moms can agree….xoxoxo
My first son was born almost four years ago and as I am reading this, I remember way back when thinking if I too had some kind of delayed postpartum depression. I always thought it only happened right after you had your baby. I would get sad for no reason at all or would randomly cry and think,”Is there something wrong with me?” As the time passed, it got better, but to this day, it has always stuck out in the back of my mind that maybe it was something more. Motherhood is so wonderful, but can be so overwhelming. Three months ago I had my second son and I’ve been feeling really good. Maybe it’s because going through this the second time you don’t put so much pressure on yourself. I know this parenthood thing is not always easy. Yesterday was my first day back at work and I anticipated the worst, but at the end of the day realized it will be good for all of us to get into a routine or as I have been calling it, our new normal 🙂 I loved being home with my two boys, but it’s nice for us Mamas to have something for ourselves. Glad you are feeling better! Thank you for opening up and sharing your story. I think a lot of us can relate. Love love love following your story on Instagram. Your kiddos are so cute!
So glad to see you back online today Ali! But I’m glad you took some time for yourself to figure out what is going on. I think it is so important to unplug and just chill with your family! You did the right thing and I am so glad you are feeling better! The holidays are hard and exhausting I felt the same way I have a 2.5 year old and I’m 7 months pregnant and I hosted Christmas this year for the first time. It was A LOT! I was so exhausted I literally couldn’t walk the next day. My husband and I took the next few days to just relax and sleep and it felt so wonderful!
Like I said so glad to see you back you are such a breath of fresh air on my Instagram. I missed ya!!
Happy New Year and here’s to better days ahead! Xoxo
I am a new mama of a 3 month old, so a lot of what you are writing about totally resonates with me. Thanks for sharing!
Also wanted to let ya know something I discovered a few days ago … you can set a time limit for yourself on Instagram and you will get an alert when you have reached it. (Upper right hand corner —> Your Activity —> Set Daily Reminder) I set mine for 30 mins and I hit that time limit before noon on the first day! So now i try to be meaningful with my time on there. I didn’t realize how much mindless scrolling I was doing!
Anyway just thought I’d share! Happy Friday!
I’ve been missing your blog!!!! So glad you’re feeling better.
I think we can blame social media itself for part of the problem. For us and for our kids (although you don’t have that stage quite yet…). It forces us to compare our lives to others, see what they’re doing and what WE might be missing out on. It shows us what we have and what we don’t have, what we need and what we think we need, etc. I am 58 years old, mother of 2, ages 17 and 20 and if I could wipe social media out of the universe, I would. It does have it’s benefits, like connecting us and sharing our lives, but I think we are going to find that, in the future, it’s done more harm than good.
Thanks for being honest and so real with your life! It helped myself reading your blog that I’m not alone because I’ve been dealing with this for a couple weeks too, one day I’ll feel good and the next I’m all sad again. This last year has been a hard one for myself with losing my mother-in-law. I have three littles 5 and under and it’s so hard to think that they won’t have their Nonnie around and then now my mother was diagnosed with cancer. We moved to Arkansas four years ago and I can’t can’t get comfortable with living here too, it doesn’t feel like home. I’m happy I have the best family but the last few weeks I have been feeling down and hair not myself. Anyways, thanks again for your thoughts. I’m glad you are feeling better and you have the cutest family!
Happy to see you’re back with a blog!
Thank you for writing about this topic – it’s always nice to know you are not alone in what you are feeling. I can relate to some of these feelings – I have such a great life, and wonderful people around me and sometimes I just find myself needing to go have a cry, just to release!
I think this is apart of life and to accept that you can’t always be happy and cheery all the time and that is okay, just take a few moments, let it out, and know the feelings are temporary.
Anyways, thank you for being transparent and writing about this 🙂
Wishing you healthy and happy days ahead!
So excited to see you blogged 🙂 love reading them. Totally with you on doing self check and making sure all it good with yourself so you can be good for others. This last year working full time and have got a toddler, I forgot to do things for me. Start this year taken the time to read or relax and I’m feel so much better 🙂 momma need to take care of themselves so they can be there for there babies and others 🙂
I did noticed you seemed MIA (just yesterday actually). I’m so glad you’re taking care of yourself and feeling better!
I’ve gone through the same since becoming a mom and I totally think feeling cooped up is a contributor. I’ve also set the same resolution for this year. To accept myself, my body, everything. And find a balanced, healthy, active lifestyle, not to lose weight or change my body, but because I love it… and I want to show my 9 month old daughter that too.
Anyways, now I’m the one rambling.. this post just really spoke to me. Thanks for being so honest and encouraging people to take care of themselves. And as usual, you’re not alone! Xoxo
Ali, thanks for sharing. I deal with anxiety and before I actually got help I lived in constant fear and worry! I was still the happy go lucky person I always was but something was just different. So i finally got help and let me tell you, i couldn’t believe I dealt with it for so long. I have a 2 year old, and now pregnant with our second. I’ve had tough days but i know that it isn’t forever. Don’t be ashamed or afraid to talk to someone and even go on something.
All the best <3
Ali, at 10 months post partum with my first (right about when she was really fighting me/cutting back on breast feeding) I was struck with anxiety and depression out of the blue. It terrified me. I think a traumatic work situation triggered it (I work in a PICU), in combination with the shifting hormones of weaning. I don’t have a ton of advice other than seek help. From your loved ones, a doctor, a counselor. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health. I’m in a much better place now, and so thankful I got help when I did. Hugs to you, momma!
Thank you for your honestly Ali! I think your struggle is totally normal! I have a 4 yr old and 1 1/2 yr old. After my second son was born, even tho he was by far an easier baby than my first, I really struggled off and on. I am a therapist and at times wondered if I was experiencing depression. Over time I began to recognize the need for very intentional self care. It has made all the difference in the world!! Self care if not selfish. It’s so vital! Love reading your blog!
Omg did I need this! I’ve been feeling the exact same way. I even googled postpartum depression after 5 months! Lol. I don’t know what it is that has me feeling like this. The post holiday let down, my house in complete disarray the kids and everyone home and stuck inside, the social media filters? I don’t remember feeling this way with my first three but thought maybe with the 4th I’m just feeling more overwhelmed. Anyways im so glad to feel I am not alone and I appreciate you posting this so very much! I know it can be so hard to be vulnerable and especially to all of the public! ThAnks again for this.
Happy new year to you and your beautiful family!
I love your open and honest approach to parenting and blogging! I had my third child in April 2017 and in the summer of 2018 hit a major wall of postpartum type depression. It was truly horrible and I felt like the worst mom and wife and friend and daughter in the whole world. I have a very big and busy life with these three little creatures but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I wrote a blog about it in my deepest moments of how I felt I lost myself. If any other mama’s out there want to read my story, check it out! https://barrowsfamilyadventures.blogspot.com/2018/08/somewhere-along-way-ive-lost-myself.html.
I LOVE YOU ALI and think you are doing an incredible job as a Mama!
I personally had the same feelings this Christmas. Our family doesn’t live here and it was just my little family for Christmas! Our holidays started off with my daughter having a fever and being in bed for 5 days! Which was so sad for me because my husband usually only gets 1.5 weeks at Christmas off and rarely gets vacation during the year…. Anyways… I’m pregnant (27 weeks) with my 3rd girl and I had been previously struggling with horrible crippling panic attacks anxiety and depression before this pregnancy and I was so scared it was coming back.
I would look online at other families with their extended families this Christmas and just get anxiety and so so sad!
I ended up spending 2 days crying on and off! It was not the way I thought my holidays would go. I didn’t have a reason to feel sad, but I was hopelessly sad!
Thank goodness I was able to snap out of it! I feel so much better now! Phew!
I had never had panic attacks EVER in my life until after I stopped breast feeding my second daughter at a year old. It must have been the change in hormones or something! It actually made me physically ill! I lost weight and thought I had something seriously wrong with me!
Eventually I couldn’t drive, or even have people over. It made me feel like I wanted to run away from my own body. Not to mention: nauseated, have kidney pain, dizzy etc etc! Very very scary! It was real and very horrible. I never knew panic attacks were so horrible!
I got help and I am now doing so well!
I now know the way to help myself when or if they ever come back! I hate that there is a stigma attached to it! I definitely know it is very hard for someone to understand it unless they have experienced it. Until I experienced it I never would have known it was so debilitating and horrible!
I believe that people who suffer from depression, anxiety, panic attacks etc are the toughest people out there! Not weak etc as sometimes society likes to think!
These people have to deal with so much more than just the normal day to day struggles, but also internal struggles! I’m glad there is so much help and support out there now 🙌
I’m glad you took some time away and feel better! Sometimes that’s what you need to do!
I ❤️ the holiday season, love decorating for Christmas, baking and finding all the cool gifts for my friends and family. However after the big day I always find I get down, I don’t leave the house and sleep a lot. I have never been able to pinpoint why maybe just the high of everything and then the low of knowing it’s over for another year and I have months of Canadian blah to face, either way I always snap out as soon as I get back to work! Thanks for sharing your story and happy to hear your back and smiling bright! Keep shining girl!
Thank you for always being so honest and bringing light to issues that so many of us mamas face. As someone with postpartum anxiety/depression, I know how crippling and devastating it can be. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. You are so strong to recognize that you need to keep a check on your mental health and make it a priority. I hope what you’re experiencing turns out to be a case of the holiday blues. Either way, know that there are so many of us rooting for you, wishing you well, and feeling thankful to you every day for sharing your experiences. Sending a big hug from one mama to another:)
Beautiful (inside and out) Ali,
I never, ever, EVER write on these types of things (first-timer here), but I was so compelled to write you today. Everything you wrote is so incredibly relatable… it actually made me burst into tears. I was just mustering up the desire to contact my mental health counsellor, because I just couldn’t pinpoint was has been going on with me lately.
I have a two year old (born just a bit after Molly – he’s a November 2016 baby). I’m used to being home because I am a stay-at-home-mom now, but not as much as we did over the holidays. Between all of the celebrations, the relaxation, and then everyone getting sick right after Christmas, it makes so much sense that I was getting stir-crazy. I left the house today on my own for the first time with my son in days for his dentist appointment, so it forced me out of this slump. It was the first time I’ve gotten out of sweatclothes in days. And seriously, I feel like a new woman. Yet, I still didn’t put two and two together until I read your post.
Christmas is the best time ever, but with social media and the ultra-awareness of others’ daily activities, it is so hard not to compare. I found myself feeling sad through the holidays seeing what everyone was posting, yet I love my little family more than anything. So I just completely get where you’re coming from! Whenever you post about how kind-hearted Kevin is… it reminds me a lot of my own husband. So then the guilt kicks in when feeling so down (because… how lucky are we???).
Basically, I could go on for days with how much I appreciated your post today. It was so necessary for so many. Reading through others’ comments, it’s nice to see that you didn’t just improve my quality of thought-processing and life today, but you’ve improved many others. And for that… you should be very, very proud. Thank you for writing about the good stuff, the bad stuff, and the stuff that matters the most. Lots of love and hugs to you!
PS. I just went back and forth about a million times on whether I should post this or not. It may never be read, but it sure feels great to just relate to someone over the tough times. But oh boy, I need to get outta my head! Haha.
Thank you for posting it!!!! I am so glad you did! I’m in tears over here reading it! Thank you for sharing and for making me feel so good today! xoxo
Thank you for sharing your story Ali! I have been wondering if I have PPD, but then I go to research and I find myself dazed and not wanting to read into it. But it is nice to hear other people encouraging other moms that it is okay to accept the fact you may have a bit of PPD, but keep trucking forwards and lean on your support system. Hugging the babies helps a lot, but I still find myself crying and not exactly sure why! Thank you for being helpful and giving the experience you went through! Glad you have a wonderful husband to help keep you in good spirits! Being a mom is not always easy, but having a good daddy sure does help!
I can TOTALLY relate to all of this!! At the time, you feel like you’re truly depressed but the moment you feel some sunshine on your face and a little dose of normalcy, you’re like “oh yeah…this is what I needed!”. But you get a case of “the dumb” (what I call it) when you’re in that funk! But I’ve truly missed your IG posts and stories so I’m so glad you’re feeling better. 🙂 Keep spreading that joy! When you teared up, I totally teared up watching!
Here I am crying again! I love you guys so much!!!!!! Seeing all this love and support means the world. I love that we are all hear for eachother 🙂
Thanks for sharing. Your transparency and authenticity are encouraging and inspiring. Glad you’re feeling better. Thanks for keeping it real.
I know exactly what you mean! I went through something similar after having a baby (he just turned 1) and over the holidays, I took time off from work, and spent the days home with hubby and kids. It was SO nice to just be with them and not even look at my phone that much. I feel like we spend so much time looking at SM and others that it ends up taking a toll on us emotionally. Being away from it helped me focus on me and my family vs. others.
Good for you for taking a break. I know this is your “business” “job” but either way we all need just a break in the end 🙂
Thanks for sharing! I am so grateful you found your strength and courage to do so. It inspires and reminds me, that we always have that, even amidst all the anxiety, fear and uncertainty. I found it so real and relatable about how seeing others can oddly make you feel down, and then you question yourself for that and for me, it fills me with shame and self-doubt. I’m hoping I can always gauge my need for a break from social media, and goals to accept myself more and more are always there. I’m approaching my late twenties now and you inspire me so much! I love seeing you smile and hearing your laugh! Anyway, I always think, by the time I’m forty I’ll be such a badass! Hahah cheers to 2019! Much love!
Thank you for sharing this! I actually struggled with Postpartum anxiety and for both of my kids it didn’t start until 6 month postpartum. You are not alone… hugs to you and your family!!
PS: I was so happy to see you back on Wed. I went back to work on that day too. If you read this and get a chance to, can you please share the earrings you wore to work on that day? They were gorgeous hoops with what looked like little stones in them!
I wish I knew! When I fill in as co-host the shows stylist dresses me so I don’t know! (Otherwise I dress myself) Sorry!
I love this. My husband and I just moved to a new state (and away from ALL family & friends) in May of last year and had a baby in August. I quit my job and am now a stay at home mom. Our worlds were turned completely upside down, but I wanted to be supportive of my husbands new job. Now and again I get really down and depressed and everything feels like it’s piling up & I just can’t stop it. I feel like I bad wife & mom, and on top of that I miss everyone back home – 8 hours away. I love that you shared your story because it doesn’t make me feel alone, and I know things can get better!
I totally relate to this. This is a BIG reason Kevin and I have talked about moving closer to family. Sometimes you just need YOUR MOM!
OMG Ali. I literally feel like you just told MY story. It’s amazing how alike our story is. I’m in awe but now I don’t feel like a bad mother because feeling that way made me feel like I wasn’t being good to my kids or husband. I had such guilt that because I wasn’t my usual happy go lucky mom/wife, that I was failing them. But this reassured me more than anything, so thank you for your honesty!! I truly appreciate it 😘🙏🏻
Thank you for being so open and transparent. I always tell my patients and myself, mental health is just as, if not more important than physical health. Side question…what lip gloss are you wearing?! I love it!
Ali thank you for your honesty! It’s so refreshing, not many can openly admit to themselves littleown a huge following of people. Social media has been scientifically proven to cause: depression, social anxiety and almost a kind of jealousy, feelings of inadequacy and feelings of what am I doing wrong compared to them. Some people experience Facebook envy where all you see are the big diamonds wives got from their husband, vacay after vacay, perfectly posed photos and basically everyone knows it’s a lie and the more you post the more lonely and miserable you are. Presenting an appearance of everything being amazing, perfect marriage, job, kids etc let’s people see how great your life actually is! But anyone with common sense can see through this and I have to personally admit I few better when I don’t go seeking out Instagram, Facebook etc because I shouldn’t base my life as less than based on what I am seeing or reading about. Maybe social media is a business for people and it is their job to promote or endorse but I shouldn’t feel sad from all the luxury I see and know I can’t afford. Everyone thought you me body was perfect after baby Riley (it is) but you showed the world what only you saw which empowered your followers to be more authentic! It shows so much growth within you as a brand, business woman, blogger, mom etc! We like you because you’re relatable💕insta perfection is just an illusion maybe the people who have to do insta pics al the time are secretly depressed and want to stop doing social media, but it is their only income! Just know your honesty is truly empowering and refreshing and I’ve never LOVED your blog more than I do right now in this moment. It’s true people do “worry” when whoever they know or follow when they don’t have much presence on social media and for you to come back and say I wasn’t well mentally and something was off is truly empowering for you I hope you continue to grow and keep it real for 2019💕🙌🏻I seriously consider posting a status update that is a true reflection of life: sleeping separate from husband, kids making me crazy, lost a friend, illness etc I wish it could be REALBOOK not this whatever face you want to show book. Cheers thanks for reading the novel🤣
Girl take all the time away you need! Your first priority is You and your family!! Ali you are doing the best you can. Im here To tell you that you are worthy and enough!! Also I have high anxiety and what helps is those cuties oranges. Instant stress relief. If you are ever feeling down remember you are loved. Sending so much fan love to you and your family!!!
Thank you for always being so real and honest! I admire that so much. I suffer from pretty bad postpartum anxiety. I’m on medication, but sometimes, I still feel a little anxious and it can make me feel small bouts of depression. It’s SO good to be aware of how you’re feeling and to have those mental health checks like you talked about! My husband frequently checks in with me to see how I’m feeling, and anxiety and PP depression run in my family, so I’m very aware of how I’m feeling. I went to the gym today and it felt good. I spent a lot of time inside the past few weeks with rain, cold weather, and the holidays. I’m looking forward to getting back to normal life now that the holidays are over!
Thank you for sharing! I love your blog and I’ve really chosen to only follow a few people who bring me joy- you are one of them. In ohio it’s been cold and rainy- this time of year is rough! Being out of our normal routine definitely is a factor and honestly this Christmas I felt a lot of anxiety because there’s just so much pressure for things to be “perfect”. Nice to know it’s quite common! Keep doing you because you’re awesome and real!
I love following you on Instagram but am rarely a blog reader! Your Instagram
Post about this blog made me come on over and give it a read. I had a very similar experience with anxiety and depression coming into the new year. Having never really felt this way before and not having any reasons to pinpoint “why” (while you never want anyone to suffer from these feelings) it’s helpful to know your not alone! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing and being so real, Ali! I love watching your stories and reading your posts because you are honest and relatable. I don’t have kids and am not sure I want to be a parent, but I’m convinced Molly is one of the cutest out there!! Seeing the joy your kids bring you makes me consider being a parent more. Your family is adorable.
I was feeling this way after the holidays, as well. I spent a lot of days at home and even worked from home. I wasn’t able to run as much as I usually do so that made me feel worse. Being in the house constantly made me feel overly down and stir crazy. Once I forced myself to run errands and get some fresh air for a few days, I finally started feeling better. It’s not always easy or enjoyable to get outside in the winter living in Iowa, but I’ve decided I need to get out more during the winter. Even if it’s frigid, I’ve resolved to make myself bundle up and get some fresh air – especially on sunny days.
Thanks again for sharing and being honest about your struggles. You’ve made me feel better and know that I’m not alone. It’s also nice to know what helps others beat the blues. Take care!! ❤️
I really needed this today !! i been feeling the same way & i think you are right!! it’s fine to focus on my metal place and get back right!! i think it is very important to get out of the house!! i am also going to try to go workout at least two times a week. thank you for sharing your story!! i hope you get back to your normal with your family!!!
I developed a form of PPD and anxiety about 4 months after my second daughter was born . I think it was a combination of the time of year I had her (in Canada it’s our winter) and the adjustment of having two little kids and not sleeping well at all. Plus I had a difficult delivery and was having issues and eventually needed surgery . It’s so important to get out of the house and ask for help ! It’s also so nice to talk to other moms that have gone through or are going through the same feelings and challenges! Thanks for sharing – I always love reading your blogs and posts 💕
I have been feeling down the past few days myself. I have a 7 1/2 month old and I was always happy with him until this feeling a few days ago. I’m a stay at home mom and it does get very isolating at times. My closests friends a about an hour away so that’s been hard. Just trying to snap out of this and wish I could. Thanks for sharing your story!
I think it’s normal to go through feelings of highs and lows in life and I don’t think we necessarily have to label it. A marriage in your close extended family recently ended shortly after it began and I can imagine that brought upon a lot of sadness to you and Kevin and Kevin’s family, who you love. When my BIL and SIL had marital problems and almost ended their marriage, it made me sad for quite a while. I felt a range of emotions, actually. It brought many deep conversations between my husband and I which almost always turned emotional. So, what you have been feeling could be postpartum and it could also be a reaction to life happening around you. Maybe it took some time to hit you and now it’s sinking in. Hang in there xoxo
Thank you for sharing! After my first i didn’t realize I had post partum depression and anxiety until about 7-8 months too. Once I realized what it was and started taking better care of myself it made such a difference. I’m so glad you starting to feel better. It’s good you realized social media was triggering you and found a way to protect yourself. Don’t be afraid to unfollow people that although may be inspiring to some can be triggering to others. That’s why I follow you. You have pretty perfect pictures but your Instagram stories and blog posts are so real that I can connect to it. All the best in 2019.
Missed you Ali. Found myself “looking” for your posts. You are so down to earth, it’s like you are part of our family here. But, you have a life and you deserve down time. From my experience w Post Partum depression is that it’s very important to tell your doctor. As you mentioned, you are still in that timeline where it can happen. Also, with your recent surgery, it can happen. I always wonder how you do it all!!? Do you go to the studio everyday? You have 2 active kids as well. Love reading your blog, but that also takes time to write. You just need to be the best you can be. Be true to yourself and you can weather any storm. Happy New Year! Joanie
Ali, I have looked for your blogs every day since your last and was so worried about you and each member of your family. I am so glad you were able to recognize your funk and I am so happy that Kevin is your husband! Here’s to you for elevating your mental health to the top of your 2019 goals, especially because you know the devastating effects poor mental health can have on you and your family. Here’s to a terrific 2019 for you and your family! Your 2018 was so busy and exciting, it’s not a wonder you experienced a letdown. Love to you,❤️
You are amazing and I can 100% relate ! I sought help for PPD 10 months after my first babe, and it didn’t start right away. I thought for sure it was too late in the game for those feelings to start appearing. Our oldest is now 3.5 yrs and we have a 3m old.
Yesterday my husband had the kids while I used some gift cards to Ulta & TJ Maxx then of course ran to Starbucks and oh my goodness – I felt like a whole new woman. Just getting out of the house and having some me time makes all the difference. I even jammed out to all my old burnt CDs from 10 years ago and it was just the best. Little things I used to take for granted. Us mamas need some time to feel like humans again. By the time I got home I was ready to squeeze my babies. Xoxo
*It won’t be like this for long*
Thank you so much for sharing. You literally described my exact feelings. I too, had a baby 7 months ago (June 10th). I totally unplugged during Christmas break. My kids weren’t in preschool, and we did absolutely nothing but hang out at home (decorating, baking, Netflix, playing with new toys). It was awesome, but also a bit depressing being off our routine. The day after Christmas I thought I was coming down with a cold and spent the next few days in and out of bed. I had a wonderful Christmas, but couldn’t figure out why I felt so bad. I quickly snapped out of it within a week. Getting back to our routine has helped immensely. Also, creating small things to look forward to has helped as well. Planning excursions and small trips with the kids throughout this upcoming year has been awesome helped keep my mind upbeat. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better! Cheers to a happy and healthy 2019!
The biggest thing I have been doing is morning yoga stretching and meditation. It’s amazing when 10 minutes can do for your mental health! Totally helps.
Ali – Thank you. It’s only two small words; but they can mean so much. I have struggled to accept my own path with mental illness. It hit me hard two years ago when I was faced with the realization I am unable to have children. I have had to mourn that and it took me almost a full year to seek help. I have found deep solace in hearing strong beautiful women like you freely acknowledging their own struggles and it provided me the courage to keep working on my mental health. Please know that while you may never read all of these or know how far you reach; only one life impacted can be important. It may give another woman, mother, daughter, sister the courage to ask for help. So. Thank you
Ali I’m glad your feeling better, you have your hands full with 2 children, your blog, etc. good for you taking time for yourself.
Just a quick note to you about my own experience. I was diagnosed with PPD and anxiety when my 2nd son was 7 months. It was probably long overdue, but definitely something I’m so grateful to my doctor (and husband!) for helping me through. My son is now 16 months (and I have a 2.5 yo) and I’m doing better than ever! Just know that this can happen anytime, not just right after baby is born. Just listen to you and your body 🙂 Thinking of you!
This Christmas was rough for me as well. My job that I absolutely loves closed it’s doors without any notice or severance on 12/5. That got me down a little. But I have 3 wonderful kids 1 of which happens to live in heaven. My 23 year old daughter who was a twin and he passed away during delivery, informed me she was expecting. That took me down a while rabbit hole of emotions. I want to protect her as much as I can and I’m so worried about her experiencing the loss of a child or a miscarriage, I had 5 between the twins and my youngest. I want to wrap her in a bubble and protect her but I can’t. Then my youngest was in a horrible accident but thankfully he was only mildly injured, my car didn’t survive. I could barely move for about 3 weeks much less breathe. Then I remembered something Robin McGraw said..”The best gift we can give our children is a healthy mother.” So I pulled up my big girl panties and put one foot in front of the other and that’s all I can do for now.
The thought occurred to me that perhaps you could have fallen into a slump, because you truly did unplug over Christmas and you aren’t used to doing that. I’m a busy bee and I find that when I slow down, it can take me a while to get back in the groove. It could have just been your body telling you it really needed the break! Just had to share with the hopes its helpful – xo
Thank you for this post. As soon as Christmas ended I felt the same way. I couldn’t figure out why. I have a blessed life & a beautiful healthy family. I was feeling down & sad for no apparent reason all the way up to New Year’s Day. Getting out of the house was key for me, along with some exercise. I’m feeling better, but need to be aware of these feelings. I’m glad you’re feeling better. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerable post. It’s not easy.
Thank you for sharing this on your blog. My baby is about to turn 10 months old and the last month or so i’ve not been feeling myself. I’ve been really irritable and emotional and my family has taken the brunt of it. Reading your post is making me wonder about my mental state…I need to do some self checking. I’m glad you shared.
I can totally relate. I had postpartum depression with both of my children (currently pregnant with my third) and if I look back, I realize I had a lot of circumstances that impacted my emotions to be confused. All the tangled emotions caused me to go into depression. My parents, being first time grandparents, were crossing boundaries left and right so I was constantly fighting for that balance. At the same time, a couple of my in laws were also struggling with bipolar and epilepsy. Both of which got diagnosed recently so were all confused for a while. This all happened in the span of the last five years we had children! Hindsight is 20/20 and now we have a clearer understanding of all that went on but at the time, I was adjusting to motherhood and problem solving the stressful circumstances from both my side of the family and my husband’s side of the family.
I’m glad you snapped out of the funk quickly! Mental health checks are a great idea and I hope you can share often what you do to help you. Praying to God and leaning on good friends during that time was a huge help for me.
Thank you for sharing! It makes me an even bigger fan of you Ali!
After my 2nd baby when I got my cycle back, I started to suffer from depression or even some mood swings right in the middle of my cycle. It’s like PMS symptoms times 10! I have never experienced it before and feel down & out for no particular reason. I still have it every month and am not sure how to get rid of it! Exercise & getting out helps, but would love any other tips!
Last year after having my second child I had crazy postpartum anxiety. It would come out of nowhere and would last for days. I stopped breastfeeding after back to back children a few months ago and I can already feel how different my hormones and body have changed. The postpartum after effects, affect women way longer than I think we all assume. Best wishes to you.
Would you/have you considered therapy? It can be so helpful to not just know that you need to keep a check on how you are feeling, but also to regularly and consistently chat with a professional who can help in the maintenance of your good mental health as well. You’re so right, it not only affects you, but also all those close to you. So, rather than having this burden of making sure you are okay all on your own, therapy can really help lighten the load and keep you in a good place.
Love your blog and proud of you for sharing and being in touch with such an important issue!
I love your blog! Happy you are feeling better!! I went through the same after my daughter was born, it’s so common! Getting out of the house does help & excersize too! I agree with you about taking breaks from social media I’m so much happier when I do the same. You have the perfect little family. Think we saw you while traveling a little while back , we vacation pretty often , next time I’ll come say hi, our girls are around the same age. 😊 Feel better & take those breaks when needed! Happy New Year! ❤️
Love you, Ali! You’re always an inspiration. I love your writing voice and always get so excited when I see there’s a new blog post. Xo, Shannon 💕
I would highly recommend the book Babies are the Worst. You can get it on amazon!! It’s a great, super easy read and a great reminder that you are not alone!
I had horrible post partum anxiety after my first, and it was so similar to what you described. I’d have a list a mile long at work, but couldn’t force myself to do a single thing. I’d just stare at the list with my heart pounding, holding back tears. (And that’s SO unlike me, normally.) I felt like I was failing at everything all the time.
Now with #2 I know what to look out for. I take a small dose of medication that helps keep me on track, and I ask for help when I need it. I have good days and bad days, but on the tougher days I know that there are better ones ahead, and that also helps.
I applaud you for sharing something so personal and I do believe it will help others. Mental health should always be a personal priority but it’s often hard but I think having a good support system is so key. You are a beautiful person inside and out and I think so many wish you and your family unlimited health and happiness!
Maybe you should talk to a professional. 😁 We are birthday twins and both from the Greater Boston area so we have a strong work ethic plus with kids it’s a juggle even if Molly has a nanny (not sure if she still does) and goes to school to give you a break. Heck maybe you have a house keeper. We don’t in our new house and it’s a lot of work. You have a great house in a great neighborhood, a great partner in life and a thriving career with an abundance of opportunities.
If social media is bugging you, take a break if you can afford to. It’s not worth it.
I hear you on the exercise. I need to get back but I’m tired and I’m tired bc I need to get back to my more fit self!
Don’t sweat the small stuff and as you are looking at other people’s social media feeling green, let it go bc you do great things all the time and others are probably looking at you with a little envy. Sadly as much as social media is fun, it does make others feel inadequate. “This too shall pass. 👍🏻
Ugh….you are so self centered. I’m
Sorry, but a few “off” days do not mean you have PPD, honey. If you really had it, you would know what it feels like without any doubt. And 7 hours a day on your phone?!!! I’m GLAD you decided to take a break. What kills me is you always try to be this “normal” mom and downplay the celeb part but you know you soak.that.up. Every bit of it! Glad you’re feeling better, but just bc you had a bad day….we all have those. Get over yourself.
I don’t have PPD but every year after the holidays I feel so sad and then guilty for feeling that way. The holidays are supposed to be like in the movies (so I thought), and I thought I should be happy and joyful all the time, but instead feel completely exhausted and overcome with emotion. Every year I have all these plans in my head for things I want to do with my family, but when the time comes, I would rather sleep and be alone ☹️
Yes! You are not alone! I have an 8 month old and I’m a teacher so I’ve been off the last 2 weeks(I’m very thankful). My daughter goes to this amazing daycare center while we are at work but i kept her home while I was off and wanted to spend time with her too but after a week I was getting so so so moody. I was in the house for 4 days straight just keeping up with cleaning and laundry and I never left even once. I barely showered or even washed my face. I think for me, when I don’t have the ability to go to work or have something of my own I get depressed. I felt like I lost my self all over again in just those 2 weeks although I was very happy spending time with my baby. I was able to spend her first 6 months of life off on maternity leave and I know during that period I had bouts of depression. It’s just hard. Being a mom is so damn amazing and so worth it by it’s hard because you feel guilty when you don’t give all your time to your child but you feel miserable when you don’t get time for yourself even if it means jut going to work. It really is, in an odd way” time to yourself. So thanks, Ali, for sharing your story. I’m sure there isn’t one mom out there that doesn’t feel this way sometimes!!
I suffer too. I’m wondering what you mean by mental health check. How fo you do that. I just really feel like I can’t get over the hump.
Totally of topic of this blog post.. but curious about potty training. I know you mentioned Molly went potty a week or two ago. Are you starting potty training full force or are you just feeling it out right now? Also, are you thinking you want to move Molly to a big bed and then train or get day time training down first then move to big bed and work on night time training? So curious as my daughter will be 2 soon. I don’t want to rush, her I kind of want to wait until she seems ready and understands but would love to see a blog about you thoughts and comments on others experiences. Thanks for reading this! You are doing a great job!!
I have heard recently from a specialist that magnesium can mess with emotions, anxiety in a negative way… (I had always heard online about positive things with magnesium) however this specialist noted anxiety/edgy side effects as well. Noticed from your posts you are taking magnesium so thought I would mention! Hope you have gotten that spring back in your step 🙂
Ali, thank you for sharing your feelings with all of us. A few years ago, I noticed I felt blue around the months of late January/early February. This happened several years in a row, so the next year I came up with a plan to get ahead of the blues by making a Winter Project List. In the late Fall I would write down about 20 household projects that I wanted to tackle, but I wouldn’t allow myself to do any of them until after the holidays. What this did was #1 – help me acknowledge that my “winter blues” were a seasonal thing, and #2 – gave me something to look forward to, plan for, and work on during those blue months. This was such a life saver for me and the great thing is, it broke the pattern of the blues after I did my projects for a few years in a row. I think that when we go through things like this, we anticipate it next time and get even more anxious, so find a way to break that thought process (which you now know can be as easy as getting out of the house). Around that same time, I was reading Amy Grant’s memoir and she said her greatest tool for depression was taking a walk outside. Whenever she would start to feel blue, she would immediately step outside and start walking. Everyone will find what works for them, and it’s good to know that we all go through similar seasons.
Thank you Ali for being so open and honest. My daughter will be 2 in March and for the first time I experienced a bout of depression for a few days after the holidays as well. I did the same thing. I napped (mostly because she was sick over the holidays and I was exhausted) but then I felt guilty for napping. Her sleep schedule is all over the place and so I’ve been feeling out of sorts. It was reassuring to know other women feel this way sometimes too. I feel like so many women experience many of the same emotions but are too afraid to talk about it because of fear of judgement. So when you share your story, you open the door for communication and help us feel less alone in our struggles whether it’s depression, body image, motherhood, etc. So, thank you and I’m glad you’re feeling better! Keep up the great work!
You’ve been missed (& your blogs)
I understand how you’ve been feeling & you’re not alone. Depression & anxiety can be debilitating & very often difficult to over-come without help/support.
Talking about your feelings helps, especially to those that care about you…
Kevin is a very supportive person & it shows!
I care about you & I can tell many others do as well by reading the comments.
Take care & I hope 2019 is a year filled with peace & joy for everyone.
Molly & you in her ‘police car’ is an adorable photo. 🚓
Thank you being so honest on here and in your IG story reacting to the negativity. It sucks that people can be so mean. Hopefully it humbles people and they realize their comments hurt. You are an inspiration to so many – don’t ever stop sharing!!
Just want to comment as a mental health therapist who works with a lot of moms postpartum. It can be overwhelming at times trying to balance it all and you can have some “down” days where you can’t seem to be yourself. A clinical depression would be considered feeling like this for 2 weeks straight with no break. When we sleep a lot, are less active and definitely not getting sunshine, it has a negative impact on our mood. Making sure you get plenty of sunshine and exercise can definitely help if you are not feeling like yourself. If it something more like a clinical depression or Postpartum depression, then those things will help a little, but you will still not feel like yourself. Sounds like you are feeling better now, which is great! Just make sure you continue to work on self care and just watch out for symptoms if you don’t seem to feel better overall. Sounds like the D&C might have made everything off balance for you as well. You are doing great momma!
Thank you for sharing this! It encourages me to take a moment for myself. I have been struggling with post partum depression and anxiety for 3 years. Yes I know that’s a long time for it still to be called that. It came on very quickly after my 2nd daughter, then 6 months in my dad was diagnosed with cancer. After a year, my dad passed away in Jan 2018. I say all of this because just because it’s been years doesn’t mean it’s not postpartum. That’s what I learned it. The diagnosis comes from when it started. If someone out there is still struggling years later because you werent able to seek help when it started, you aren’t alone. Help is still there for you and I encouraging you to seek it. I finally admitted to myself a few months ago that I couldn’t do it on my own and that didn’t make me weak. It made me strong. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you again for sharing your story.
So you can get postpartum even after years? I am just wondering. Do you still call it postpartum? As a mom of a two year old I am kind of struggling.
Hello! I am just wondering how long after getting the depo shot twice back to back. How long did it take some to get pregnant again?