My Social Media Rules

I’ve been thinking a lot about social media lately and how it affects people. In my mind, there are so many positives and negative‘s to social media. I for one love it because it’s a way for me to connect with so many wonderful people from all over the world. I told you this guys before but I’m really proud of the community we built here on Ali Luvs. Of course there tends to be a negative comment here and there, but generally speaking I feel like the community people that come to my blog to connect with me and other readers are very positive, uplifting, and supportive. But of course social media and the Internet in general has a darker side. But instead of focusing on that on my blog today, I instead want to talk about the social media “rules “that I follow, or follow for the most part, that I think if everybody did these things it would make the social media world a better place!


Be generous with your likes!

Every so often someone I follow on Instagram will thank me for being so supportive and liking so many of their photos. At first I was kind of surprised how many people would say this to me. I remember thinking “of course I’m liking your photos. You’re posting them so obviously those pictures are important to you, so I want to support you.” OK OK, saying the photos are important to that person might be a stretch in some cases. But when I’m trying to say is that when somebody posts something to social media, they’re usually doing it for some sort of recognition. Which is totally fine! So in my mind, it takes me all of a half a second to like someone’s photo and if they want to post it (for whatever reason), I’m going to like it to support them! In my mind, it’s as simple as that. So when I go through Instagram, I pretty much like every photo on my feed. I just feel like it’s such an easy way to support someone so why not do it.

I actually first started doing this a couple years back when one of my friends (Catherine Lowe – she’s the best!) would like a lot of my Instagram photos. And I remember thinking she was so sweet to support me in everything I was doing. When she liked my photos it made me feel good, and I wanted to be the type of person that made other people feel good too. So my number one social media rule is to be very generous with your likes! Show others that you support them – even if they’re posting a photo of their breakfast that you reeeeeally don’t care about. Ha! I’m totally guilty of posting things like that by the way 😉


Be Nice.

This one is kind of obvious but I couldn’t leave it off the list. Be nice. The old saying if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all definitely applies to social media. Remember this even when you’re commenting on a celebrity’s account or a news article about a public figure. I know this sounds crazy, but back when I was the Bachelorette over 8 years ago (I can’t believe it/s been that long), I would read comments on articles about me that were negative and they really hurts my feelings. Just because someone’s a public figure doesn’t mean that they’re not real people with real feelings. And obviously I’m not writing this just to talk about celebrities or people with large followings. This applies to anyone and everyone. If you’re on Facebook and see if photo of someone maybe you’re not super fond of – don’t say something negative about them. I’m not telling you to say something nice  about someone you don’t care for, but it’s better just not to say anything.

But being nice goes beyond just not saying anything negative. Go out of your way to say something nice about somebody you do like! Take it a step further and spread even more love online by commenting and saying something nice on someone’s photo. So you’re not only liking it, like I talked about above, but you’re telling that person that you appreciate their post. Commenting on other people‘s posts something I’m trying to get better at. I just think it’s a nice way to show someone your supporting them.

Photo Approval.

I go back-and-forth in my mind whether not people should ask for someones approval before posting a photo of them to social media. I don’t necessarily think you need to ask for approval but I do think you need to be aware of what photos you’re posting of your friends on social media. For example, I always find it comical when someone will post a photo of themselves and their friend where they look absolutely perfect and their friend looks a bit haggard. Meaning their friend either has their eyes closed or is making a weird face. So I always say that if you’re going to post a photo of another person online, just take a minute to think about whether not they would like that photo of themselves. And if the answer is no, then either don’t post that photo or crop them out 😉

I want to end this by saying that I don’t think anyone should base their self worth off of how many likes they’re getting on social media. I know a lot of us tend to do that and that’s definitely not what I’m suggesting here. I just think social media is a part of our lives and here to stay and these are just some simple rules that I follow that I believe helps make social media a more positive place.

That’s all I’ve got for today. I hope this post inspires you to spread a little love and kindness today. Next time you hit up Instagram or Facebook, Spread a little extra love by liking every photo you see! You never know who’s day you’re going to make!

P.S. My t-shirt is part of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale and it’s on sale for only $17. It’s only left in limited colors but black is one of the colors and I think everyone needs a really great black tee.

37 Thoughts

37 thoughts on “My Social Media Rules

  1. So true, Ali! I feel like social media is so reactionary — if people would pause and think or cool down before they immediately respond to something, I think the negativity would go down a lot more. It’s fine to disagree or share your opinion, but it can be done in a respectful way that encourages constructive, not defensive, conversation!
    Side question – how do you keep your white and light-colored furniture clean with a pup? I have 2 dogs that love to jump on the couch and bed, and I feel like their little paws are my #1 issue with keeping everything looking clean for long.

    1. Scotch guard is something we are about to do. But right now, we cover couches with throw blankets and then remove when guest come over. It’s really easy to do and keep them from getting dirty! We also wipe our dogs paw every time he comes in from outside. Ha! Seriously 😉

  2. Social media is everywhere. It’s consuming people. I don’t have Facebook. I used to have Instagram that I don’t go on anymore. It’s very time consuming. But I like your tips. I think ppl should follow them.

    1. It totally is consuming. I spend WAY too much time on it. But if I am going to spend all that time on it, I want it to be positive and time used to spread love!

  3. Nicely said! I hope you are having a good day. You have a good photographer, who takes the pictures?

  4. This was so refreshing to read! Social media can be a very dark place and honestly coming to pages like yours always brightens my day!!

    Hope you are having a better day and your weekend is filled with fun and lots of sleep 🙂

  5. Love your tips! I generally try to live by these myself. However, I did get to a point where I would notice someone had hundreds or thousands of likes so I would be like, “What’s one more?” And would just scroll by but if it’s something that does look important to them I do try to double tap as I’m scrolling. Unless it’s advertisements. I loathe some of the promo posts. I realize this is where some make their $ but I wish it was maybe one a week instead of one a day. I tend to not ‘like’ those as much. This is one huge reason why I love following you so much. You are so down to Earth and REAL and it makes me feel a part of it all with you. Thanks for sharing!

  6. And this is why I follow you Mamabear!!! You are positive, dignified and encouraging and you bring light to those around you. Great way to use your platform!!!

  7. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on your rules for social media. I agree with all of them! No wonder I love seeing and reading your posts! The one thing I would add is to also unfollow any negative accounts or “friends”- I haven’t had to block or unfriend many people but if I don’t love the vibe I don’t follow. Then I have such a happy experience when I scroll ❤️

  8. You make total sense.. I however am guilty of looking at a photo and scrolling down without liking it on Facebook and Instagram. I should like photos and posts more often 😞 I just don’t want to seem overbearing to people with notifications etc.. I wonder how much would be considered too much? Silly I know but it’s why I don’t hit like on many

  9. I totally agree with all of this. I try to post an uplifting quote every morning and pictures of my fur baby and family outings. I try to like everyone’s posts (as much as I can) and try to always comment something positive. When I get the urge to rant bc someone’s post made me angry I find if I type it out in the comments and then delete it instead of hitting send or enter it makes me feel better bc I’ve gotten whatever off my chest but then it also doesn’t open me up to further comments or drama attached to it. I love seeing your posts and reading your blogs. Have a great day Ali and keep spreading the love!!!❤️

  10. Ali this is such a timely post for me. I have recently gotten caught up in noticing that people who I’d think should care about things important to me that I share, deliberately won’t “like” or even acknowledge something of mine in real life, for whatever their reason yet they are the first to want that on their stuff. And I in turn have noticed that bc of that I will deliberately not pay any mind to things they post. It sounds so petty to type that out especially as an adult, but it’s the truth. I am not proud that I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in that and do something out of my character, which is to show someone that I care, even online. Thank you for the reminder to love on others and show support. I am learning that whether good or bad, social media does not and should not determine how I treat another even if they do the oppposite of good to me.

  11. Hey Ali, I Love your rules!!!

    And I was wondering: do you think about not showing your kids on social media? I feel like in Germany for example parents choose not to show their kids faces because there are a lot of weirdos who could use pictures for disgusting reasons and parents sometimes don’t want to show their kids if the kids can’t decide yet who can see their pictures and might be embarrassed in the future.
    You have a huge community and thats why I was wondering how or why you decided to show your kids 🙂 I hope you don’t get me wrong! The question just came to my mind after reading your post.

    But I am glad you do show us your children because they are the cutest!!!


  12. Great rules! I always love the content of your posts and the way you talk to your readers, even if I don’t get a chance to leave a comment often. Looking forward to more of your house posts! Love that you’re bringing us along with you and sharing all your good finds and being so open about the decorating process and your home. I know you get a few negative comments, but I really hope they don’t get you down! Unfortunately, I think its just other people’s hang-ups. Hope you have a great weekend!

  13. Hi Ali, I am a 72 year old great-grandmother, known as “granny” (young at heart) and I have followed you from the very beginning. I just liked everything about you in every way. I don’t watch any of the other Bachelorette shows. Yours was so special, the others just don’t compare, so I just keep following you. You are so right when it comes to social media. I don’t do Facebook and you are the only one I follow on Instagram. I have commented a few times.
    I just love your little family and I think it is great how you are able to share everything. Your home is beautiful and I love the decor. I am in the process of doing some changes in my home to reflect the farmhouse style. I am using some gray paint and will be doing a gallery wall.
    Anyway, just wanted to say keep doing what you are doing. Your Blog, Instagram and my emails are the first thing I check each day. I enjoy you so much.

    Best Wishes always!

  14. Let’s all take a moment here to remember that social media is Ali’s job. And she must do quite well at it to afford a 5-bedroom house in LA, furnish it with entirely new things, and hire a nanny, decorator, photographer, and make up artist. Good for her.

    But part of being an influencer for a living is having people disagree with you and call you out when your message does not resonate. All influencers have to deal with it and Ali has lucked out until recently (and even the recent stuff has been mild). For her to react to it in this way is very disappointing. Her messages, in general, are very positive and empowering and I would hope that she could learn from or at least ignore the honest critiques instead of getting preachy.

    1. Agreed! When you put yourself out there like Ali does and share every detail of your life (TMI) you have to expect that not everyone is going to agree with you or relate to the life you are living. I was expecting this post from Ali because she is very sensitive to any kind of perceived criticism. What she doesn’t realize is that in order for a blog to be interesting you have to embrace different ideas because that is what gets the conversation going. I’m not sure she is emotionally mature enough to handle that though.

      1. Lucinda,

        You write a lot of negative comments on the majority of Ali’s blogs. It is fine to have a difference of opinion but why do you have to take it to another level by saying that she’s not emotionally mature?

        1. No, I don’t write a lot of any kind of comments on Ali’s blog because I don’t read it that often. When I do it’s because I feel strongly about something and want to express my opinion. Ali takes a lot of pride in being a strong women so hopefully she can handle it.

  15. Speaking of social media rules, I wish everyone would follow Jillian Harris in the fact she wants to remain authentic and turns down a lot of money not to promote/sponser anything & everything that comes her way. I I think it goes a long way. She did a whole insta story on it & I couldn’t agree with her more.

  16. Hey Ali!
    This was a good post about being kind to each other and inspired me to finally comment to you and share my support as well. I have been reading your blog for awhile and hearing about your mommy tips and challenges has been super encouraging with my 7 month old. So here is a long overdue “thank you!” We briefly knew each other at Clark (as transfer student roomates) and I am so, so happy to see you doing well and happy with a beautiful family! ❤ I know you’ve had a tough week (me too), remember to be kind to yourself too!

  17. Love you, Ali! When you liked & commented on an Instagram photo I posted wearing a dress I got from your blog, it absolutely made my day!! A little kindness definitely goes a long way. Thanks for being a good example of these rules.

  18. I think it’s amazing that you’re a mom of two babies, a wife, and have a crazy busy life and you still take time to comment back to us on here, Facebook & insta. Your interaction throughout your busy schedule and life is awesome. You’re so down to earth!!! On another note, Facebook commenters seem to me to be so much more unforgiving on photos of celebrities or stories about them. I generally won’t even read some after seeing a pic or topic I know people are not going to be nice about because it really bothers me how mean social media has allowed some people to be. I always think, would you say it to their face? And I would hope some people wouldn’t say some of the things I read to anyone’s face. But there are many nice people and I love reading someone just being nice to another human! Being mean is just not worth it. Your posts are always real and that’s awesome!

  19. Keyboard trolls are just the worst! I find sometimes commenting on social media can come across bitchy or be misconstrued as being rude when perhaps a follower just wants to connect from a different angle and offer another perspective. It must be so hard being a well known “celebrity” and blogger because it does just seem to open up that people can say whatever they want and not use a filter. Kindness always wins☺️

  20. I love these rules! I too try and make sure to like near every post of everyone I follow. I mean why not? It always blows my mind when one of my photos will get a lot more likes than the other? Also, even if people don’t care to see too many photos of my kids on IG or on my stories, people are still browsing and watching them. I am still supplying you with something to do while you wait for your coffee, lay in bed, go to the bathroom even!

  21. Love your blog, Ali. My wardrobe has gotten a huge update since I started following your blog. These rules are really important for this day and age. Thank you for all your blog posts as a working mother, and for being honest as always

  22. I really like this post, especially your first rule: Be generous with your likes! Right after I read it, I knew it would stick with me because I used to take an opposite stance – I was the type who was very stingy with likes (and posts). For whatever reason, my stubborn side didn’t want to “give in” to someone wanting recognition, but then you reminded me of how it feels when others like MY posts. It goes back to The Golden Rule – treat others how you want to be treated!

    Not only do I like this post, but I enjoy reading all of your posts! You have given your followers a broad (yet relate-able) range of topics to read and discuss. Over the last month, I have shared your blog with a handful of my friends – some new moms, some future moms, and some who love fashion/style/interior design…which is ironic, because I initially started reading your blog for your Bachelor/Bachelorette recaps 🙂

    So to conclude my rambling, I want to thank you for sharing your advice with us, and thank you specifically for changing my social media perspective into a more positive one!

  23. Hi Ali!
    Wow, that was a really great article. Your tips are very helpful. I use Instagram fairly often and I like having these tips on how to make it more enjoyable for me and others. The idea of being generous with your likes is such a good point, it’s so easy so why not do it? Also I really like your white home decor, it’s so pretty! The wood pieces you got for hosting are beautiful as well, you have great taste!
    -Emma 💗

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