A Challenging Week for Me

This week has been ridiculously challenging for me as a parent and in some cases as a person. It’s such a juxtaposition from last week. Last week I was on a total high surrounded by nothing but love and positive vibes in every aspect of my life! This week has been a little bit different.

1. EARRINGS | 2. BLAZER | 3. JEANS | 4. PURSE

I mentioned on Instagram stories last week that we had hired a part-time nanny who will come help me out until 11:30am everyday. She was here last week and it was super helpful! That’s probably part of the reason last week was such a high for me. I guess didn’t realize how badly I needed the help in the mornings until I had it. However, she had had a vacation planned for quite a while for this week so she’s not with us this week. She starts officially on Monday. Which after this week I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. Trying to keep up with my business endeavors, run my blog, and take care of my two small children has really proved to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t even know if I can say it’s something I’m “doing” because I feel like I’m not even accomplishing it. I just feel like I’m failing at it. Yesterday was literally the first time I’ve showered in a week. And most of the time during this past week, I stayed in pajamas all day. In fact, there was one day where I wore pajamas to bed, then wore them all day the next day, then back to bed, and then for half of the next day. Gross, I know. But if you’re reading this and if you are a parent yourself, then I’m sure you’ve been there too. Especially if you have more than one child. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like with three or more young children.

I’ve also lost my cool a lot in the past few days. I’ve lost my temper with Molly which I’m embarrassed to even say or admit. But I’ve just gotten so upset with her at times when the baby is screaming and she’s throwing a toddler tantrum for no reason. I’ve broken down in tears myself and when Kevin gets home from work. I’ll even throw my own little tantrums to him. It’s just been a really hard week.

1. EARRINGS | 2. BLAZER | 3. JEANS | 4. PURSE

Honestly, I find myself feeling angry at Kevin sometimes because he GETS to go to work everyday and get a break. I remember going to work after we had Molly and feeling like it was a vacation and not even work. And my “mom job” at home is 10 times harder now that we have two kids, so I bet going to work will feel like a spa day once I go back (when I’m emotionally ready to leave Riley – but that’s a whole other blog post).

So I guess the reason I wanted to write this today was to show you guys that I just don’t have it all together. I know I post really pretty photos to Instagram and here on my blog. And I write about how much I love my kids all the time because quite frankly, I do love them to pieces! But at the end of the day I’m a normal parent like all of you and I have breakdowns and failures. I hope you guys don’t only look at my photos but also watch my Instagram stories to get more of a sense of the real me. The mom that is just struggling to get by and sometimes failing miserably.

But, I always try to end my blogs on a positive note. And I will say that I did get myself pulled together to go to a quick meeting yesterday. And I actually have an event for my job to go to tonight! The show I work for, Home and Family, has their big event for Hallmark that all the on air employees go to. So I’m grateful to get out of the house tonight and spend some time with my colleagues that I’ve missed so much since going on maternity leave.

1. EARRINGS | 2. BLAZER | 3. JEANS | 4. PURSE

These photos are of the outfit I wore to my meeting yesterday. The blazer is part of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale and it still fully in stock! So many things from the sale have already sold out so I am pumped this blazer is still in stock. I think that’s because the photo on the Nordstrom’s website doesn’t make it look cute at all. I didn’t buy it online, otherwise I probably would’ve skipped over it based on the photo. But I saw when I was shopping in the store and I immediately fell in love with it. There’s only two reviews on the website but they’re both really good. One is 4 stars and the other is 5 stars. So if you’re considering getting it, go off these photos and not the photos on the Nordstrom website. Size down if you get it. I’m wearing a small. My earrings are also part of the Nsale, FYI

Anyway, this post is really just to let you guys know what’s going on my life right now. Even though this is been a challenging week I know things will get better and there will be amazing weeks in my future and even harder weeks in my future. I’m just taking it one day at a time and remembering to be grateful for these amazing children I have.

148 Thoughts

148 thoughts on “A Challenging Week for Me

  1. One day at a time is right! I am not even juggling the same things in life but I have to remind myself of this daily.

    Thanks Ali for keeping it real. We totally ALL have sunny days and then not-so sunny days – pretty sure that is just l i f e.

    Keep pushing forward!

    Kate

      1. Hi Ali!
        I had such a hard time adjusting to 2 children! I was an emotional mess! My girls are now 5 and 3 and I still have challenging days! I feel overwhelmed quite often with trying to balance it all! Being a mommy, a wife, a friend and a nurse!
        We think about having another one and that quickly leaves my thoughts lol!
        It’s hard work being a parent and you are completely right when you say just take one day at a time!
        Thanks for sharing and being real!
        Now for me…..I have to take my car into be serviced and my 3 year old who hardly naps anymore, decided today was a good day for a nap! 🤪
        Have a wonderful day!

      2. Ali I know exactly how you feel . Our kids are actually lined up in age (my girl just turned 2 and my boy is 11 weeks)n. Two kids is hard!! I could’ve wrote your post today its so similar to my experience currently.
        Keep on mothering! We got this!

  2. If there’s one thing I know without a doubt about parenting is that no two weeks (or days or hours for that matter) are ever the same. There’s the bitter and the sweet and through it all, we love our kids fiercely but that doesn’t mean we don’t get frustrated at times. And really who cares how many days you wear the same clothes or don’t shower? In the grand scheme of things, it simply doesn’t matter. I can say that now, because mine are in their 40s and 30s and at this point, none of that ever mattered. You’ll laugh, but for me, the easiest part was the adjustment to 3 kids. And the hardest was to the first child. I felt like 2 and 3 were not much different. My son and his family just had their 4th and they feel like things didn’t change that much. And they both work full time and have kids going in all directions every morning. So have more kids and it gets easier! Haha. Anyway, hang in there, you are doing great and you have happy healthy kids which is all that really matters anyway!

    1. I totally agree. The more kids you have you just learn to let things go. I just had my third and ths only difference I’ve noticed is the bed time routine can be a bit tricky.

  3. Girl, I’m at home with a toddler and a newborn and feel like I could’ve written this post myself. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve left the house or washed my hair. So appreciate you putting this out there, and know that you are not alone! Xoxo.

  4. I have four kids under the age of 6 (our youngest is 9 months). It’s crazy town around here. We also run a large dairy farm which I help with chores morning and evening. To be frank sometimes I feel like everything’s just a giant gong show!!! I keep trying to remind myself that I’m enough. I’m enough for my hubby and my kids – and they love me regardless of how frequently I’ve showered or cleaned the house that week!!

  5. Oh Ali, your post is SO refreshing, real, and authentic! And as a folllowernof you I for one can say I appreciate your honesty in adjusting to a 2nd child. I have a 21 month old and she is pretty demanding with my attention at home, and it’s bard for me to think of a 2nd baby right now.
    I actually enjoy going to work for a “mom” break. I feel guilty too but I give SO much props to stay at home moms because it really is the toughest job in the world. Sending you lots of positive thoughts! You’ll look back at this time a year from now and see how much you’ve grown as a mom. I enjoy following your story!

  6. Your doing a great job!
    I can relate! I have two that are 2 and 1.
    10.5 months apart. Also, I seperated my symphasis pubis ligament during child birth with my first one and now my pubic bone is significantly seperated and I am still on the mend.
    Two under two is very challenging no matter what the situation is!
    I hope things get better for you! And thank you for always being so real!

  7. The fact that you aren’t showering and getting dressed each day shows that you’re putting your children first! You will be blessed for sacrificing for your kids and Molly and Riley are blessed to have an unselfish Mom. ❤️

  8. Thank you for your honesty! As a first time mother, it is good to know that I’m not alone in my struggles. Mommin’ ain’t easy, that’s for sure!

  9. Love all your posts Ali, and also have to say these more recent ones where you’re more vulnerable and sharing some of the more trying experiences and recovery process from the pregnancy really speaks to me. I definitely appreciate your honesty and openness.

    Also totally relate to feelings around going to work. Work is now a staycation to me where you can eat at your leasure and go to the bathroom in peace. If your office has a shower that’s like finding a magical unicorn! Family leave is such a blessed magical time that you wish would never end and sometimes wish would pass faster…at least that was my experience.

    If Riley is the completion of your family, then this is the last maternity leave, right? Sometimes those thoughts gave me a little moment to appreciate the chaos knowing it would never be this way again.

  10. If you didn’t feel all of this i would say something is wrong. LOL. All of this is 100 percent normal and just means you are human. I feel like i was reading about my own experience. I remember that feeling of being upset or annoyed with my husband when he got home from work, i was jealous he had a lunch break and his own time. I remember him walking through the door and not even fully in… and me passing the kids, crying, saying i NEED to shower it has been a week! Having 2 is tough for sure… especially so close in age, but i promise things will get easier. It is very important to have time for yourself though….. even if it means a 20 minute shower with no noise, a walk to grab a coffee, etc.
    You are not alone, you are a great mom and wife, and these days will soon be just a memory! Good luck momma!

  11. Thank you for sharing Ali. It does make me feel better to know other Moms, who seem like they have it all together, have their moments too!

  12. I can definitely relate! Being home with my 14 month old daughter is much more exhausting than I anticipated! I’m also 18 weeks pregnant so that adds to the exhaustion. I honestly feel jealous that my husband gets to SIT at a desk all day and interact with adults. Thankful for these precious moments with my daughter but man, I am tired! Hang in there!

  13. I feel your pain! I have a 7 week old who just wants to eat constantly and only takes cat naps during the day. The saving grace is the 5 hour stretch he’s been sleeping at night! Obviously I love him more than anything and there is nothing I’d rather be doing, but man is this hard!

    1. Have the same feeling! Alil I love how realistic and practical your blog is.. your a REAL person with REAL emotions. Social media can oftentimes represent a different image and I am SO happy that you talk about that in this post. I watched you and am now starting to go through your blog!

      Thank you for being so raw. I know it can be tough to be judged but its needed!

  14. I seriously feel like I could have written this blog as it’s been my week as well! I have a 22 month old and 6 week old and this week has definitely been challenging. Thanks for sharing- it helps me feel not so alone in this mom world. Thank goodness the weekend is almost here!

  15. Ali, I feel like I wrote this post myself! I am home with our five-week old baby and he (and, consequently, I) had a really tough couple days this week. Just wanted to let you know I really look forward to your posts, and I appreciate you keeping it honest and authentic. Hang in there!

  16. Girl, I can relate SO much. My kids are 3 and 9 months and this whole parenting 2 kids at home thing is not for the faint of heart. I struggle on a daily basis with just keeping my cool, listening and understanding, trying to just breath, and just remember that this too shall pass. From the moment they are up at 6am usually, to sometimes 9pm when my 3 year old finally falls asleep, it’s a 15+ hour work day, 7 days a week. I can’t believe I ever thought I was tired or exhausted from my 9-5 before I had kids! Lol between toddler tantrums, baby teething, diapers, feeding two kids that have totally different picky food preferences, running errands, keeping the house somewhat clean, keeping up with bills, I mean it’s just a lot. The 15-20 min I get in the shower usually around 10:30 pm is like my zen time lol I never find time to see or hang out with friends, my husband and I basically say hi to each other when he gets home at 4, we make dinner, eat, he showers, we both start getting the kids ready for bed, kids go to bed by 8 and we are both so exhausted we just want to pass out. It’s sure a crazy, busy, tiring, but oh so rewarding and always a life full of love. And that’s what I always try to tell myself. My life is full of so much love every day. So many giggles, smiles, hugs, cuddles, and I love you’s. I am so beyond grateful for all of it 🙂

  17. Just wanted to say that I am loving your blog posts even more lately! I just had my second boy in June and my first is 22 months! I recently tried to take both of them on an outing by myself and it ended in all three of us in tears and my husband leaving work to come rescue me! It’s so hard! No advice, cause I’m right there with ya, but I know these little kiddos are worth it all. Keep up the real talk, it’s so refreshing! <3

  18. Thank you SO much for you honesty. First time mom here and I’m loving it and love my boy to peices but I have been having a hard week as well and I only have one baby! I think you’re a rock star and really look up to you as a woman and as a mother. Keep doing you!

  19. Oh my gosh, I feel you on every level. I’m a year into this 2 kid thing and there are still days when I don’t get dressed or shower. I get jealous that my husband gets to go to work ( I always feel insane for being jealous that he gets to go to work and I get/ have to stay home). Everyone keeps telling me it gets better and I’m just waiting for that day.

  20. One is like one, two is like twenty. It’s so so so true and I know because I have a 3 and a 5 year old. And God, that first year was hard. It still is, but in a less I-want-my-old-life-back-i-can’t-do-this type of way.
    So amazing that you’ll have a part time nanny. Wish I could’ve afforded one. But when you don’t….still shower. Not because it matters. But because you need to feel normal. I’d put my daughter in a bouncer and close my son in the bathroom with a toy, and shower. I needed that. It made me feel like a person. And when my husband got home. After dinner, I’d lock myself in the bathroom and shower for 30 minutes completely alone. You need your sanity. People say it all the time to moms, but you cannot pour from an empty cup. It’s so true. You have to take care of yourself. And it’ll still be so so hard. But at least you feel better equipped to deal with it.

  21. Hang in there. Your doing great. It’s a ride that’s for sure. The good the bad and the ugly. They good days over power the bad ones. Love Molly’s room it’s beaituful.

  22. Being a mom of one young one can be hard enough but two little ones is a job for a super hero! You Ali are a superhero to both Molly and Riley <3 one day at a time and when that seems too overwhelming sometimes it’s ok to take it one minute at a time!

    I love this post! Two of my three are 19.5 months apart I still remember these days vividly and am so thankful they are now teenagers who come with a whole other set of wth is going on moments 😉 my third is a toddler and I couldn’t imagine doing that again. Thank you for keeping it real and being such a positive influence in this world!

  23. One day at a time! I had 2 boys 17 months apart, and it was not easy. Lol. My husband is AD Army and was gone alot, and weirdly enough I found myself jealous of when he went away for weeks of training or schools because that meant he had a full nights sleep, and I was home up multiple times a night with both boys. I have had zero help since we dont live near family. Sometimes I totally failed. And I knew it. But guess what my babies didnt. They still loved their momma. They still hugged me, kissed me, and thought I was the best thing in the world. Luckily they dont remember our failures ( yet 😉 ). Being a momma is hard. But so good. Mine are now 4 and 3 and getting easier, (in some ways ha ha) and I can’t imagine doing life any other way. Love your blog posts and keeping it real.

  24. I so relate to this post and appreciate that you wrote it! I’m home with a 2 year old and a 4 week old so I can absolutely relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed. I’m finding my toddler to be the one who is the biggest challenge right now. Keep in mind that newborns go through peek fussiness around the age that Riley is right now, so it’s completely understandable that this week was so rough. And also that each difficult time is just a phase – hoping that this challenging phase for you is over soon. ❤️

  25. You’re doing great girl! I am home with a newborn and although it’s just the one, some days are hard and some are easy! Keep your head up. The hardest part is not getting a break for sure. And no matter how amazing husbands are, they will never understand!!

  26. I feel ya! I have a 5 week old and a 2 year old. We still send our 2 year old to daycare 3 days a week while I’m on maternity leave (he normally goes 5 days a week while my husband and I work), and sometimes I feel guilty that I really look forward to those 3 days. You don’t realize how “easy” it to have 1 child until you have 2!

  27. Hi Ali, I have almost 2 year old and 3 month old… love my kiddos to the moon and back… but I will be honest I was waiting for your blog on this subject. I felt like the worst mom ever for sometimes loosing my cool and thought maybe I was doing something wrong. I know it will sound awful but I am glad to hear you experience similar things… I guess it’s just natural part of motherhood… We are doing our best but being under stress, sleepless nights etc. affects our performance. I am sure with time it will get better but I don’t expect it will be all rosy in a near future, haha I totally agree with you, one kid was easy peasy :), now with two is much much harder! One day at the time approach I take… all the best to your beautiful family! Love your blog!!!!!!! Xoxo

  28. Your post was actually just what I needed to see today! I’m not a parent but I usually feel like I have things under control and this week has been about as out of control as possible. I really admire how you are always so honest, and also so positive. Thank you for just being you!!

  29. Thank you for being so honest! This makes me feel so much better about where I’m at! I have a daughter who is 3 weeks older than Molly and another daughter who is 1 week older than Riley so I’m literally in the trenches with you. There are days (or even weeks) where I’ve felt so overwhelmed. Losing my cool with my toddler and even losing my cool with the baby sometimes. I’m human 🤷‍♀️ And then actually getting mad at my husband for getting to go to work and then completely melting down when he gets home! It’s exhausting but it doesn’t mean you don’t love them!! I love following you and seeing all the pretty pictures and family posts but I do sometimes forget that’s not always “real life” so thank you for being so honest with this post! I’m glad I’m not th me only one!

  30. Going from one to two kiddos is hard work especially when they are both so little. I am pregnant with number 4 and I can tell you that going from one to two was much much harder than going from two to three and from what everyone tells me going from three to four is a breeze. Keep doing what you are doing. Loving on those babies is your most important job. Showering, getting dressed, those are just extras in my book. I’m happy if I brush my teeth every day. Lol.

  31. Hey Ali! I can totally relate and I have to admit that I have gone many days in a row with no shower and I am definitely currently wearing the pajamas I slept in last night and will likely sleep in them tonight! And the mommy breakdowns I have are so real. So you are not alone! I have my three kiddos now, but I will say the hardest transition for me was transitioning from one to two children. It was so hard to figure out how to give both children all of the attention they were needing from me. Eventually things settled down. I want to thank you for your honesty! It means the world to me and so many other women I am sure and it’s so refreshing to see that I am not alone! Thank you! You are doing a great job!

  32. Great article! My girls are 18 mos apart and I was home with them FT for many many years until they were in 3rd and 5th grade. Even now im home w them in the summer. I remember those days very well of being nonstop busy and changing 2 diapers and feeling so tired. Thankfully I got them both on same nap schedule when my youngest was maybe 6 mos old so I was able to nap too at that time or just time to myself. The days goes by slow and the years go by fast ! So so true , try to enjoy the days of them being so little. Mine are now 11.5 and 13 and I miss those days. Hang in there and embrace each new day as a new start. But we all have been there w parents ! Your kids are adorable ! Thanks for always keeping things so real always.

  33. I feel ya! I’ve got a 5 year old and a 2.5 month old and man on man I’ve lost my temper more times then I’d like to admit and the 5 year old has watched way too much tv. But these days it’s how I’m surviving!

    Keep it up mama you are doing a great job!

  34. I am, by no means a young mom anymore! I had 3 small children at one time, and I wish back then I would have felt ok to feel the way you do now. I carried so much guilt that it affected me mentally with my children and my husband. I went through some really tough times and I was never able to deal with it. I had no family that lived close, no one to reach out to. My husband worked nights and had to sleep during the day. And I worked full time. No blog to right on for other moms to see. I was embarrassed to feel the way I was feeling. And I carried that with me until my youngest – my son went off to college and then all hell broke lose. So I do understand what you are going through, Ali! You are doing the right thing by getting it out there in the open and dealing with it. Yes, do things for yourself to make yourself feel better. And by all means – be heard!!! I wish you all the best. Your little ones are adorable. It is all worth it in the end, trust me.

  35. THANK YOU! Thank you for being real. Thank you for knowing that there are MANY people here to love and support you. (Unfortunately there will also be trolls.) God gave you those babies to love and to raise. They dont cone with manuals, they dont get one for you either. Most parents with littles get where you’re coming from. I have a 3y.o. and a 2y.o. at home. CHAOS! But when they laugh and smile and throw their little arms around my neck – no matter how many times I fail, the know they are loved. Thats what matters.

    I have NO DOUBT your littles know they are loved. Breathe. We will all get there. “The days are long but the years, they fly!” You’ll look back and miss this soon enough.
    DeeDee

  36. I have 2 under 2 as well so I feel your pain! I work 12 hour night shifts as a nurse and my husband does 12 hours day shifts as a paramedic so we basically tap out and hand the kids off to each. We each have the kids for so long by ourselves until the other person gets home, and we often throw our own tantrums to each other cause we are so burnt out. My husband didn’t even take his bonding time off because he wanted to go to work to get some time away and have adult interaction! Going back to work was a struggle, but also a relief for me, so don’t feel bad about wanting to have a piece of your “normal” life back!

  37. This is a great reminder to all of us who put so much pressure on ourselves day in and out to have it all together all the time. It’s just not possible. Give yourself a break and a pat on the back for all that you do. Also, I think it would be helpful on the days of complete chaos to remember that you are blessed to have two children, some are still waiting for that blessing (myself included) and would kill for the chaos of two children. You are doing amazing and I love following you and your journey. Thank you for always being uplifting and real!!

  38. Being a parent is so hard. None of us have it together 24/7 or really ever. Plus as parents, our job is constantly shifting as our kids grow and change— and it all happens without warning. Plus postpartum is just HARD.

    Having a basic schedule for our days at home has helped tremendously. It helps keep me going when I start to feel overwhelmed.

    Also, find a few things that YOU, as a person, NEED. Whether it’s going out with friends once a week or working out or going for a walk (by yourself!) when Kevin gets home. Just something that you can look forward to every week that makes you feel like Ali again and fills up your mental and emotional reservoirs. Then schedule it in the calendar and don’t compromise on that time.

    I’m in the trenches right now with you with 3 boys (11, 5, 14 months). It’s hard- but we’re stronger!!

  39. The good news is that every day is a fresh start! I am a Mamma of 5 grown kiddos, but still clear are the memories of balancing babies and the no time for myself/no shower/pity parties!
    I remember most days I wore the same pajamas on repeat, if ever I changed to jeans the kids would ask “are you going some where?” 😀
    My salvation was to pass the torch when my husband got home from work, and “escape” for even a short while (usually a little retail therapy was involved!😂). Then I would come home renewed and feeling better about things.
    What I learned and my motto is:
    “The days are long- but the years are short”.
    Hold those precious babies close and give yourself grace knowing that motherhood it is not a easy job!
    The daily challenges are tough but it will get better! You’ve got this!!

  40. Awww Ali… oh how I wish to go back and relive those moments. My babes are 16 and 12. Remember they’re only moments and this too shall pass. God never gives us more than we can handle. Major HUGS all around 🙂

  41. I’m a mom to a 22 and 17 year old. I like you have my girl and a boy. I’ve had my fair share of tough times. You get thru it the best you can at the moment.

    Ali, the way you carry yourself in todays world is to be commended.
    Your body image post (Lordy the strength that must have taken) and now this one on your tough week is just what I think new moms needed.
    You have a voice and to use it the way you have and even more now should be an example to follow for many in this crazy social media world.
    By keeping it real and difficult as it can be so helping so many others!

  42. I feel ya! I just had my third in three years and I’m BEAT. Most days I feel totally defeated but the good days make up for those hard ones. Never did I think a shower in silence would be such a treat. You’re doing great, Mama! Those babies are lucky to have you!

  43. I had 4 kids that were born May 2005, twins may 2006, and July 2007. Honestly those years were/are a blur to me. My husband was a traveling service tech at the time, so he was never home. Actually the day I brought the youngest baby home, he left out of town for the week. I did luck out a bit and they napped at the same time, that was my shower time. I learned to take 10 minute showers when they were little (I also have/had hair to my mid back and lower plus thick). Now things like laundry and dishes would get put off more often then actually getting done. When I did have the baby though I did become a stay at home mom. I think it may have also helped that the latest any of them finally slept through the night was 7 weeks old. The twins didn’t walk until they were 20 and 22 months old after therapy so I could kind of contain them a little more. Just know that you are not alone and these days may become a blur but it will get better. They will get bigger and grow. Then they will be teens and preteens and you will feel like pulling your hair out again lol.

  44. Thanks for the honesty and keeping it real, I appreciate it because in your pictures it does look like you have it together and no issues as a parent. I love your honesty about this week and last weeks post regarding your body. Thank you.

  45. Thanks for your honesty! My 2nd was born a few weeks after Molly, and the first 6 months were pretty much miserable. My 2nd was a very difficult baby, and in many ways, I regretted having a second kid. Didn’t regret my son but didn’t realize how hard having 2 would be. I’m a SAHM (with no local family), and every day was filled with a baby crying, a toddler whining and acting out, and my husband and I bickering.

    They are now almost 2 and 5 in a couple of months. I still want to lose my mind some days, but it’s amazing how much happier we all are. Hang in there. You don’t have to enjoy every minute (hate that line). But it does get easier in a lot of way as the baby gets older.

  46. Ali,

    I also have 2 young children, our boy Jack just turned 2 and our baby girl is 8 months old. Let me tell you, I STILL go to bed in my pjs, go a whole day in them and then head back to bed in them after consuming a few glasses of wine (necessary lol). Overall, some days I feel like a super mom; I make awesome meals, clean the house while wearing baby girl and my boy is napping, and manage to squeeze some fun in for him at a park for the afternoon. However, others I feel like I am a failing Mom and the guilt is worn on my sleeve in the evening when my husband gets home. Being a Mom is the most difficult job I’ve ever had. I love it and yet find it so exhausting.
    No matter what, as a Mom, every day has its challenges and it’s highs. Life is beautiful, complicated, and always a challenge. You’re doing a great job, and the fact that you do your Mom life plus keep up with a blog etc. is amazing to me! Keep movig forward, us Moms are a whole culture of our own, in my opinion, and we need support and love one another! I hope you feel the Love!

    Sara

  47. You are by far one of my favourite people on earth. I myself am a new mom to two young ones and there are days I cannot get the energy to do anything and there are days I go without showers or a fully enjoyed meal I havent had to devour as quickly as possible. There are days where I have also been wearing the same clothes for two days and the gross part there is definitely spit up action. My son just turned 3 and i have a month old boy. My 4 month old is super glued to me already. I often feel jealous of my husband and the amount of me time he gets versus the amount I get. Your post last week about your postpartum body makes me feel like i am not alone but i wish i shared your positivity because i am having a hard time adjusting to my new figure. You put a smile on my face everyday, you keep it real and you are a beautiful soul. Thank you for your inspiring insta stories and posts as well as your blog.

  48. I really appreciate your honesty, Ali. Thank you for such a refreshing post. I have an 8 week old and a two year old and I was frankly blindsided by how challenging it is. I have a very fussy baby that I can hardly put down and caring for her and a toddler seems downright impossible at times. Reading posts like this and seeing that others are struggling too makes me feel a little better. More people need to talk about this!

  49. I am no longer at this stage, but Ali I can totally relate to this post in so many ways, all you can do is take it one day at a time. You got this mama and know that you are doing the best you can even when you don’t feel like you are.

  50. This is my life right now 100% I had a baby boy about 1 month before you, and I also have a 2 year old girl. It’s SO much harder than I thought it would be, and I feel a little guilty about how much I miss work. BUT- we get through it 🙂

  51. When my twins were newborns I think I went two weeks without showering at one point. My twins just turned two and it’s gotten easier but now we have surprise number 3 on the way, so we’ll have three under three 😳 Everyone makes it look easy on social media but the truth is if you’re a Mom at all you are a Super Mom. I’m glad that you are honest because most Mom’s can relate. I lot of us don’t want to admit we are stressed and need help because we want to portray we can do it all. It’s hard work taking care of littles! But then they look at you and smile and you forget how sleep deprived and smelly you actually are.

  52. Thank you for posting this! I just had my baby girl 3 weeks ago and my son is turning two in two weeks. I end up wearing my little girl most of the day and having her sleep on my chest in a recliner because she has reflux. I haven’t laid down in my bed for weeks. Most days I’m barely keeping it together and I can’t tell you how many times I lost my cool with my toddler and my husband. Then I feel guilty and start crying.

    Just know that you are a good mom and Molly won’t remember this period and will not be scarred for life. In a couple months it will be better and a year from now you’ll forget all about this tough time.

    I love reading your blog BTW. Keep your head up, you can do this!

  53. We all have those days….such is motherhood! Also, pretty sure it is a full moon this week because my kid has been off the rails! Hang in there! ❤️

  54. Oh man I hear ya, Ali! I am a stay at home mom with two littles (4 year old girl and 9 month old boy). The transition from 1 to 2 kids was so much harder than I thought it would be. My daughter had a hard time after my son was born and I had PPD. I had so many days and weeks like yours. Anger with my husband, too (who really is so great). It gets better. I promise! I still have rough days of course but oh man, it gets so much easier. Thank you for this. Sending love your way!

  55. I used to be (wait, who am I kidding… I still am sometimes!) so jealous of my husbands commute to and from work, reserves weekends and classes. I wouldn’t want to do any of his work, haha, but those 20, 30, 40 minutes alone in the car each way?! GIVE ME THAT, PLEASE.

    So, I totally get it, Ali!
    Keep on loving those babies because that will truly be all that gets you through some days 😊

    🧡 a Mama to almost 6

  56. Oh momma, you are not alone. My girl is 2 and my newborn is 2 months so same as Molly and Riley. It’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done! We don’t have any family around to help or give breaks! I find myself getting mad at my 2 year old when the newborn is screaming as well, I don’t have answers except you are not alone. And it will get better! I live by the saying ‘this too shall pass’ and one day we will even miss some of it!

    As far as sanity goes, I’ve established a night routine already with my newborn and he goes down in his bassinet between 7-9! And sleeps decently well. I make sure to shower after he goes down cuz well it’s my only ‘me’ time of the day! Maybe it’s something you can try? It’s silly but something as simple as a shower by yourself can be nice and relaxing! I know this can be hard if all he wants is to be in the carrier!

    You got this momma.

  57. Thank you Ali, you could not have posted this at a better time. I went back to work this week and I have a 12 week old daughter. I struggled with infertility and had my daughter via IVF. I’ve never wanted or loved someone more than her but I was not prepared for how hard this would be. Ive always struggled with anxiety but in the last month or so ive had such extreme anxiety thats been physically messing with me, my daughter had colic and the witching hour was brutal.I have never been on meds but reached out to my doc this week for fear this can worsen. I just tell myself one day at a time, it won’t always be like this and i know the time will come when i yearn for my baby to be this tiny again

  58. Ali, I’m 68 and feel your pain. Wait until you go back to work. Don’t want to scare you but it gets harder. Getting back to work will give you some relief from all the craziness but guilt will slap you hard.
    My advice, take time for yourself. Go out by yourself for an hour if that’s all you can get. My friends and I would fantasize about spending one night in a hotel, alone!!
    It will get better. Just savor the memories. A new phase will happen soon. When you are 68, you can sit back and smile

    1. I’d have to disagree with this. I am also in my 60s and my 3 kids are in their 40s and 30s. I always worked full time but for me, going back to work made things easier. For one thing, I HAD to be more organized, plan ahead more, and set schedules. Like meal planning for a whole week, getting things ready at night, getting up an hour earlier to have some ‘me’ time, etc. I did not feel guilty working at all. My children were cared for by loving people and I had good quality time with them and could provide for them. They all tell me now that they feel I instilled a good strong work ethic in them. I think everyone’s situation is different, but for some women, going back to work is the best solution for all.

  59. Ali,
    My kids are 10 & 12 and I am a business owner who works FT from home….I STILL have fays where I’m envious of my husband qhen he gets to leave the house to go to work 😜😁 Although my kids are older abd “some” things are easier, they actually need MORE of your time as they get older. It’s sometimes hard to juggle the career, home, & kids, but just know we ALL struggle. It takes a village!! Hang in there mama 😘

  60. Wow! Is it selfish of me to be relieved you’re facing the same struggles I am? My girl and boy are the exact same ages as yours, within a week. It’s been so so hard. My doctor diagnosed me with PPD, and through my disability insurance I am getting two additional weeks off from work. I’m so relieved because I was NOT ready to go back on Monday. After talking with a wellness counselor she said I more likely have an adjustment disorder. It’s associatrd with the adjustment of going from one to two kids, etc.

    It’s so hard and i have definitely had PJ days, and my toddler is in daycare!!! I just know I wouldn’t be able to handle her being home. She has been acting out since the baby arrived, and even shown signs of regression. She’s been demanding milk in a bottle and throwing mega tantrums. I love reading that you’ve thrown tantrums of your own. I’ve definitely been there. Most recently just trying to plan a family outing to leave the house and it not working out.

    Anyway, there are definitely days where it’s impossible to get anything done other than survive the day, you know? I love reading your stories and following your Instagram. It makes me feel like we’re in this together. Keep up the great work, cause you’re doing an amazing job with this mama thing!

  61. You’re doing great Ali!! Every parent has these times in their life and it’s okay. On another subject, I was watching the bachelorette fantasy suites episode and saw a few dresses of Becca’s that I LOVED and was wondering if you’re ever looking into the fashion anymore. I’m sure it was a lot of work and now with two kids it may be more difficult. Love you and love that you’re so open with your fans.

  62. I’m having one of those weeks too! Three kids has really been a game changer for me!! It’s so hard!! My 4 month old doesn’t like naps or night sleep, but I still have to take care of my 6yr old and 3 yr old. They fight like cats and dogs when mommy is busy with baby! The funny thing is even know they drive me crazy most days, I’m so sad that school starts in three weeks and I’ll miss them.

  63. I’m having one of those weeks too! Three kids has really been a game changer for me!! It’s so hard!! My 4 month old doesn’t like naps or night sleep, but I still have to take care of my 6yr old and 3 yr old. They fight like cats and dogs when mommy is busy with baby! The funny thing is even know they drive me crazy most days, I’m so sad that school starts in three weeks and I’ll miss them.

    I get the going to work thing too! My friend I were just talking about that. Yes work is hard, but no one is following you to the bathroom. 😂😂

  64. THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS! I feel like I could have written it. I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 8 week old. I work from home and just started back on Monday and feel like I can’t get anything done. I’m breastfeeding and my 8 week old wants to be held all day and my 3 year old is throwing tantrums all the time and its exhausting. Thankful that my husband is a teacher and still on break but I have no idea how I’m going to make it all work when he goes back to work when its even hard with him here. Its all just so hard. I’ve lost my cool more than I want to admit. I live in my pjs and am lucky to get a shower. I know I’ll look back on these days and miss all the craziness because I really love my kids more than anything and I’m so grateful to be their mom but damn its hard.

  65. Hang in there! You are doing awesome – you have two beautiful kids you love and who love you! Always remember that in the hard times. And if nothing else, remember that we’ve ALL been there, whether we share it publicly or not!

    In the first months with my daughter, I was discussing what felt like failures and embarrassing parenting shortcomings to a friend who had a son about a year older than my daughter and she offered the best advice – she asked me, “But would you ever judge a friend in these situations? What would you tell a friend and how would you offer her support? You have to give yourself the same credit, the same love and support because you deserve it too.”

    I try to remember that in the hard moments and then fake it til I make it. 🙂 Sometimes, you just have to survive and that’s okay!

  66. You are AMAZING. I have a 3 year old and am due with #2 in October. I am so nervous, because I already feel like I can barely get through each day as it is. I still get such resentful feelings towards my husband, because he can come and go as he pleases. Hang in there mama, the best is yet to come.

  67. I don’t know how I feel about this post. I have a 26-month old and a 4-month old. I started following your posts when you were pregnant with Molly because they were pretty identical (feeling hungover without the drinking!). But now, I’m confused. Most people who have 2 kids have them 2 years apart. Also, most people don’t have nannies. You had a one week boot camp when you actually have to care for both of your own children at the same time. MOST mothers, this is our daily life. It is not a bootcamp and it will not end when our “nanny is back from vacation.” Also, most mothers now (myself included) work from home. . again, without help. Actually, I have showered most days. I want to be positive but it sounds like you’re throwing a pity party for the every day life and you are returning to your, well, privileged life after one short week. I would rather see, “Wow! I don’t know how you mom’s do it! I’m drowning here.” This is not permanent for you? Anyway, I would like to end positively, too. So, I will give you the advice to empower your husband as much as possible to take care of the baby. Our 2 year old goes to bed at 8pm. No matter how difficult your newborn is, you have 10 minutes to shower and it will actually empower him/give him bonding time, and make yourself feel human. I find a lot of times mothers unknowingly get in the way of the bonding with dad and baby because they point out how husband’s do things wrong, etc. Get a yoga ball, swaddle the baby, give him a paci, and tell Kevin to bounce him because you are going to have 10 minutes to yourself to shower and 10 minutes to do WHATEVER! For you. So, I am actually going to sympathize with you at this point that the time management is skewed. It is possible. It’s hard, oh so very hard. The resentment is real. Work (out of the house) is a vacation. Oh, and stay hydrated. I ended up at the ER needing fluids because I got dehydrated around this time because it seemed like I didn’t even have time to drink water during the day when I was alone with them! Finally, it gets better.

  68. Oh, BOO HOO your nanny wasn’t available for one week. Come on, Mama. Take care of your own kids…like pretty much every other regular person does.
    I love watching other mothers like Catherine Lowe, Ashley Rosenbaum, Trista Sutter…they handle themselves with such grace. No doubt they struggle too. But you are ALWAYS so over the top dramatic. For everything. NO SHIT having two kids is hard work. You’re not the first person to do it. *eye roll*

    1. That’s how I read it, unfortunately, too. Apart of this industry is knowing your audience, no? Because most of your audience doesn’t have a nanny. It read along the lines of in Chandler Bing’s words: “My wallet’s too small for my fifties and my diamond shoes are too tight.”😂 Motherhood is hard but it’s not relatable when it’s hard because your nanny is on vacation.

    2. Don’t forget that her husband is home from work at noon and does a huge amount of the work with the kids and the house. How nice would that be?!

      We all have our stories and struggles, but we all made the choices that got us there. At the end of the day, she chose to have two kids under two despite tons of advice about hard it would be.

    3. Don’t forget that her husband is home from work at noon and then does a ton of work with the kids and house. Wouldn’t that be nice?!

      We all have our stories and struggles, but we all made the choices that got us there. At the end of the day, she chose to have two kids under two despite receiving tons of advice about how hard it would be.

  69. I’ll keep this short and sweet. I don’t disregard the struggles you are going through as I am sure having two young kids has it’s challenges. But as you vent, keep in mind how lucky you are to have them as there are others out there struggling with infertility or like myself, secondary infertility. I’d give anything to have a second child.

  70. I just cried reading this post because I had a day like that yesterday. I snapped at my son, I was not in the mood for my husband and it honestly makes you feel like the worst mom, wife and person on the planet. It’s so hard. Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had in my life.

  71. I have a 4 year old and a 10 week old. I feel you. It haven’t washed my hair in a week. And I’m only *half* sure I brushed my teeth this morning.

  72. Thank you sooo much for posting this! My kids are 2 years and 4 months and every day is challenging. It’s nice to know that other moms struggle too!

  73. We just had our second on July 8 and my first is 2.5 and realllllllly struggling. So I am also really struggling!!! I am lucky that my husband works from home most days so he can help with lunch and doesn’t have to rush off to work in the mornings but we are also in the process of moving and so he has been trying to handle our new (old!) house which is about a 40 minute drive from where we live now. Anyway, it isn’t easy!!! I managed to take them both to target today with no meltdowns which felt like a huge win. I also lost my cool with my toddler earlier this week and yelled at him which I never do and he was so upset by it that I am still feeling awful about the whole thing. I am trying so hard to remain calm when he gets upset (which is so much more with this new baby!!!!) even though I am tired. And also trying to remain calm with my husband at 3 am 🤣. Enjoy your event tonight!

  74. I don’t even have kids yet and I still go days in the same pjs I slept in sometimes, so don’t be too hard on yourself! You are still a total role model to me and millions of other women – no showers, tantrums, and all 🙂

  75. Hang in there Ali! I was totally you 2 years ago when I had my second and a 2.5 year old. The baby was the easy part!! Toddlers can be so challenging, and having ZERO downtime with more than one kid can really catch up to you. I will say things have gotten a little easier (or I have learned to embrace the chaos)… but now I am ready to welcome my third (5 days past my due date and counting, ugh!!!). I think what I’ve learned in the last 4 years of motherhood is that there are amazing days and really difficult days.. but it is all such a blessing. Give yourself grace and know you will miss these moments someday. I also want to add that you mentioned going to work is a “break” and I will agree with you a little bit, but I am a full time working mom (outside the house) and that is also SO hard!! Having to leave your babies every day is emotionally very tough, but also you still have to do all the same things stay at home moms do when it comes to taking care of the house, etc. Trying to fit it all in and not feel completely guilty about how much quality time you’re spending with your kids is so difficult. All the moms out there- stay at home or working in or out of the home are rockstars!!

  76. Ali, I can’t thank you enough for your honesty and openness through your pregnancy and through Riley’s life so far. I have a 2 1/2 week old so I’ve kinda been on the same journey with you. All your posts have been so timely for me as I’m going through a lot of the same Happy time and rough times as a first time mom. It’s nice to hear my experiences are common and normal and all part of this crazy ride as a mom! Thanks again and hang in there mama! You’re doing an amazing job! What an example you’re setting for Miss Molly and Riley!

  77. Thank u for this post. I really needed to hear that today. Currently sitting on the couch with my 5week old baby boy. Been stuck here for 8hrs because he’ll go crazy if I put him down. When he’s not destroying my boobs he’s falling asleep only to startle himself awake and start all over again. I am covered in spit up and dying for the bathroom. Also the 89degree balming weather is not helping. Here’s hoping it’ll get easier for the both of us

  78. This is so amazing to read. I have a 5 week old baby boy and a 2 year old boy. My husband was lucky enough to be given some time off from his work, so he has been home with me since our littlest one was a week old and it has been so great to have the help. With that being said, he goes back to work on Monday and I will be alone with both boys and I am terrified. Not only is my oldest in his terrible two phase, but he is also struggling with the adjustment of having a baby brother so he has been really acting out on the daily. This has been so stressful with both of us home but I have NO idea how I’m going to do it by myself. Having two kids is much harder than I thought as well but reading your post makes me feel like I’m not alone so thank you.
    Parenthood is no joke – but the highs are so worth all the lows!

  79. Thank you for being so open and honest. I have a 3 year old and a 4 year old who are 13 1/2 months apart. The adjustment to having two was sooo hard! It’s so great that you will be able to have help in the mornings-I did as well-and that helped save my sanity. When there are multiple kids crying and you are taking care of everyone else’s needs every minute of the day, it definitely feels overwhelming. There were some days I wanted to run out of the house screaming like a crazy person!! I would often feel jealous of my husband walking out that door in the morning to work while I had two cranky toddlers hanging on me. Don’t beat yourself up-what you’re feeling is totally normal. It’s still challenging-and some days I go to bed in tears feeling like a complete failure-but we are all doing our best. I love my kids-and despite the times I am angry, short with them, tired, irritable-they know how much I love them-as do your kids. It’s ok to love them beyond anything, but also feel like you need a break! I always try and remember this quote by Rachel Martin-Breathe sweet mom.
    Your kids need you. Not perfect. But you.
    With your worries.
    And your laughs. And your fails. And your try agains.
    Your love.
    Your showing up.
    That’s what matters.
    Breathe, sweet mom

  80. Ali, as a parent myself to two now teenage boys 14, 17, I can say been there, done that! I was a stay at home Mom in which no one ever gets credit for! I had some really hard days where I would lose it and scream and other days where I was able to get all of us up and ready and out the door for an adventure! We are all human! Know when you feel like this, it will pass. Always ask for help when needed rather it’s a friend, relative, neighbor or sitter! Sometimes a mini break lets you refresh! I am currently a daycare teacher with 3 year olds and all I can tell you is…I love it!! Every day is a new day with different moods! They make me laugh, challenge me, hug me, tell me they love me, say NO to my face and sometimes throw tantrums! I wouldn’t change any of them for the world! It’s all about making adjustments in your own ways to tolerate and pull forward! At the end of the day, it’s the most rewarding job ever!! My own children are my heart and sole! Everything I put into them, shows up! They’re on the honor roll, respectable, funny, hard working, lovable, have morals. But dating is a whole new ball game! Therefore, my gray hairs keep popping out! Every day I remind them that I have eyes in back of my head! Stay strong, let it go, laugh before you cry and keep swimming!

  81. Totally understand what you’re going through Ali! I remember after my second was born, I kept thinking ‘man, and I thought life was hard with just one!’ It’s a whole different story when you add more and more kids to the mix. Once Riley gets into a routine though, and a little bit older, things will fall into place. You’ll look back and this phase will all just be a memory. But I know how challenging it can be. Don’t feel bad about losing your temper with Molly and Kevin either. Being a mom is such a tough job. I did the same thing (and still do occasionally). Now we have three kids- ages 6, 4, and just newly turned 1. It’s much easier now that they are all getting older. One day at a time, and before you know it, things will be so much easier. ❤️❤️

  82. Omg I am so there with you. Two kids is HARD. I hate myself for being impatient with my toddler because I am so tired and I don’t want her to wake her brother up. Also right there with you on the back pain. The fact that you are blogging and handling both of them alone is AMAZING and I agree going back to work can feel like a vaca when you get two minutes to sit and take a coffee break by yourself!!

  83. I can 💯 relate. It’s day by day over here with my nearly three-nager and 8-week-old who wants to nurse every hour and be held for all his naps.

    Have you tried showering at night? That’s my me time and self-care.

  84. My baby girl is 4 weeks and your posts and honesty have given me life these past few weeks! It’s SO hard. I can’t imagine having a toddler, too! I’ve felt the husband resentment, know all too well the lack of showers and twars (mine and baby’s!). Thank you for being so honest and real, Ali! You have no idea how much you’re helping all of us new moms!

  85. Let’s get real – any mom who doesn’t have it all together at least sometimes and doesn’t lose it on her kids & hubbs at times, just isn’t real! Those moms are unicorns. I do both more than I would like to and guess what, I’m not ashamed! We all love each other and that’s what matters.

  86. Thank You for being honest Ale. I am certain that many Moms will be able to relate to what you have shared.
    Anyone who has had young ones can relate to the challenges you are experiencing.
    Settle in for the long haul😉. This is not meant to be bad news, but I believe it is important news to share. I say this because when my children were younger I remember the hard days, thinking when they get older it will be easier-and it was…although the challenging things just looked different than my youngest who was up all night, and our oldest who was super busy and into everything! Sometimes I was so busy looking forward because I felt frustrated, ineffective, and like I had failed as a Mom, that I failed to settle right where I was and develop strategies that would assist me to see my family through through the challenging season. Once I recognized this, I was able to adapt my mindset accordingly and grow through the days, and eventual seasons of challenge.
    Parenting is likely going to be one of the hardest things you will ever do-that being said parenting can be one of the most rewarding things you will ever do. It is a one day at a time process at times, especially on the hard days a moment by moment process. And that is ok! I have two children, 20 and 18 I can say that there is a reason we are given years to raise them up-because with consistency, NOT perfection we will see the fruit of our labor!
    I found when I had babies a good place to start was with me. I found that showers, getting dressed, a little makeup and brushed hair went a long way to setting me up for the day. It was a sacrifice to make it happen for sure! Alrhough, the 20 minutes it cost to do so-made a calculable difference in the bigger scheme of things. If I made an effort to look human, I felt it was easier to ACT like a human! I did have pj days for sure, although I fought to not allow that to become a way of life-even temporarily. I found the dividend of making the effort to be dressed, far outweighed the sacrifice it took to get put together-and it made such a difference in my demeanour with my babies, and my husband-and others.
    I wish you the best in your journey!

  87. Wow I love this post! I am soon going to have 2 under 2 and while I am so excited, I’m also so scared because I know I am going to have days like this. I stay home full time with my son now and that feeling about being jealous of your husband going to work is definitely something I have experienced with my son already! Although I wouldn’t trade being home, it is tough some days and A LOT of work! Thanks for sharing and hope it’s gets easier soon xoxo!

  88. I see you have a coffee and for me, just going out to grab a coffee makes everything better when I am having a hard mom day or a hard teacher day. My daughter is 15 months old and my husband wants another, and I’m so nervous about the amount of craziness that comes with another! You’ve got this, and none of us are perfect as moms, so just keep doing the amazing job that you are doing! By the way…love the blazer with the jeans!

  89. I can completely relate to your sentiments. After I had our first I felt like my life completely changed in every aspect (which is a completely true for any new moms) and I would find myself so angry at my husband that he got to go back to his normal life just weeks after she was born. Not to say that his life didn’t change at all with the birth of our daughter because it clearly does change both parents lives, but he got to go back to his job and continue his life like “normal” when mine was completely upside down… My body was different, I was miserable breastfeeding and pumping, I was so sleep deprived from being up at night so that he could rest before work, and then there was the complete loss of my independence. Going from a very career driven workaholic to a first time Mom was tough…it’s still a struggle at times 18 months later. After that first year life became more manageable (or I just got better at coping with it). It is so hard being a mom.
    Each day is a new day though and I live for those little Mom moments where you feel like you’re rocking it all. Just remember you are always enough for your children no matter what you do or don’t do!

  90. I love reading your posts as I can relate to them so much and they make me feel like I’m not the only one going through all the highs and lows of mom life. I have a 27 month old and a 2 month old so I totally understand the rollercoaster of emotions from day to day. Thankfully the good times out weigh the bad moments even when a 5 minute temper tantrum from your toddler feels like it lasts forever! So thank you for being so open and honest with your life because it’s so nice to read something so realistic and true to what is as moms are experiencing and feeling.

  91. Yes, one day at a time… We just have the one kiddo (toddler now). I cannot imagine having more than one. I feel like it’s easier now than when Layne was an infant, but I can’t imagine taking care of an almost 2 year old and an infant. No way. More power to you! LOL.

  92. My daughter is 5 and my son is 4. I remember how tough it was. My whole life was work and Mom. I forgot to take care of myself, or I just didn’t have time. I learned to schedule in self-care. Time for me to do things I enjoy (walk the beach or waterfront, grab a drink with a friend, get a massage, etc). Calling a babysitting shouldn’t come with guilt. We are our best when we look after ourselves and it’s good for the kids to see. My kids love the babysitter too. It took me a long time to balance things. Hubby and I fought more as we were drained. I seriously lost myself so take care of yourself guilt free. Kids are the greatest gift, but the greatest challenge. They challenge me in ways I couldn’t imagine. But, my rescue dog Charlie and my two littles are my greatest loves. You’re amazing! I’ve been following since you were the bachelorette. You are so real, honest and you post about things that matter. You keep things real and honest. I think that helps more people than you realize.

  93. I’ve been totally dealing with resentment with my husband about that very thing! I haven’t found a great balance yet, I have a one year old and I’m home full time, and so making sure to schedule time and activities for just me hasn’t really been a thing yet. My husband has work, softball and goes golfing quite often and I can feel it wearing on me that he gets breaks without any thought where I struggle to do that for myself. So glad I’m not the only one!!

  94. I have 2 sons ages 29 and 26 and my husband worked long hours so I was always home with the kids, however mine were 3 years and 4 months apart which made a huge difference. It was definitely alot of work but I can imagine how much harder it is when they are so close together. Hang in there before you know it they will be playing together and hanging out with each other and also beating the crap out of each other…lol. This period will pass, you are doing great.

  95. Hugs!! I totally understand with what you are saying!! I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Both boys and I’m so tired. Thank you for sharing!!! You are doing amazing!!

  96. Thank you for sharing this. I am so sorry this has been your week 🙁

    I totally relate to this post and I don’t even have kids yet! HA! I think any human can just relate to days in our lives where we just feel overwhelmed, stressed, and failing on every front. I think what has helped me personally, in my own day to day life, is recognizing what is in my control and what isn’t, what has to be done and what can wait, what is derived from too hard of expectations on myself (in other words what I am thinking needs to be done that is actually from pride, perfectionism, and what other people will think if I don’t do it, etc…etc… Small achievable goals in my daily life has really been a life changer 🙂

    You are a great Mom whether you are dressed to the nines or wearing pjs! 🙂 What makes you a great mother is your HEART and how you CARE for your children 🙂 It’s going to be a great week!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 But it’s okay to have a bad week, bad day or even a bad moment…it’s how we move forward from it 🙂

  97. I had the hardest time from 1 to 2. Someone once told me one is one and two is 100 and I believe that to be true. It’s also very isolating being at home with two young children. It’s hard to go out because they’re both so little but honestly even if you just walk around in your driveway, backyard, etc. with them it makes you feel so much better. You will get into your groove and having help will make you feel so much better. I had 3 babies in 3.5 years and when the 3rd came we hired someone in the evenings to help with dinner and baths, etc. and it saved me! Know you aren’t alone even though it may feel like it at times. We mommas can do hard things. 💛

  98. Let me tell you – two kids is NO JOKE! But let me also tell you this – you have to cut yourself A LOT of slack right now. You are so deep into the newborn fog, emotions are everywhere, and it’s so much work keeping your sanity.. not to mention keeping littles alive and well! 🙂

    You are an amazing mama. We all have days, weeks, etc like this and you are so brave to put it out there for everyone to read. Mama tribes are REAL and IMPORTANT!

    Hang in there and know that it will change soon – it doesn’t get easier (just a different kind of hard), but you will build confidence day by day and remember what a rockstar you are!

  99. I was a nanny for an 18 month old girl and newborn twins before I had my son who is now 9 months and boy what a difference it is. I thought it would be easy to care for 1 after that experience but…I was wrong. Being a stay at home Mom is so much harder than being a nanny. I can only imagine having 2 kids, a home to care for and work.
    Keep on keeping on. Your kids are alive healthy and loved that’s the important part.

  100. I’m sorry you’ve had a rough week. I love all of your posts and how real you are. As a mom of an only child, I found myself being overwhelmed very easily with just one. People have different coping levels and get overwhelmed at different capacities so your comment about parents relating escpeically if they have two kids is a little upsetting. I went through many days of not showering and living in my pajamas with only one and I’m sure you did too when you had “just” Molly. Hope the days get better once the nanny starts.

  101. I love your honesty so much. Im a mom of a 2 yr old and had a hell of a time this wk. Tantrums and meltdowns. My baby has had a share of health issues since birth and i dont have any help with her. Everyday is a struggle and i dont know why i felt relieved reading this knowing that im not the only mama who “losses it” and get super frustrated at their toddler. You are amazing and you dont even know how your blog touches people’s life. Thanks for sharing the beautiful photos but also the real life struggles. I will support your blog the best way i can because you are an amazing mama/blogger.

  102. This was the BEST post and my favorite so far. It is not easy putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. Thank you for your courage in being so real and honest, we appreciate it more than you’ll know. And getting help if you can in any way is a smart decision. I hear you and totally understand and relate. We are in this together! Much love your way 🙂

  103. Ali-
    I love reading your blog. I read it as often as I can. I have a 7 month old and I remember feeling the exact same way towards my husband and sometimes towards my son as you’re describing here and it makes me feel better when I read things like this to know that I’m not alone. One thing that I have to remind myself often (& my husband) is that our son is still a baby and he’s still learning every day in this thing called life, just as we are still learning to be parents. Just take it one day at a time. Parenting is hard and you don’t have to love it every second of every day. But at the end of the day, it’s so rewarding and you love your kids and they love you. Keep going, mama! You’ve got this!

  104. Hi Ali,
    I have a 14 month old and I’m currently expecting any day now with my 2nd girl. This is my biggest fear juggling two under two not to mention the other added stresses of life. Hoping I can keep my sanity especially during PP phase! Thank you for your honest post -it’s encouraging to say the least. Xxoo

  105. I still just have one baby (10 months old) and I can relate to so much of this post so I can’t even imagine how hard it must be with two little ones. It is so refreshing reading about your real mom moments!! Thank you so much for sharing the not so glamorous parts of your life as well!! You’re awesome! ❤️

  106. I could have written this myself. Sometimes I feel so bad for my 3 year old, I lose my temper with him and constantly saying things like don’t, stop, no, watch out for your sister, she can play too.
    He’s my first sweet baby, and I love him so much. He is a handful and on the go 24/7.

    My baby girl is about to be a year old, and this year has been a whirlwind. It’s so hard at times but so good at other times.

    You can do this and just know your not alone at all. I am so grateful that you wrote this knowing that I’m not alone either.

  107. Ali, I’ve been a fan since the Bachelor days. Let me tell you something. I’ve always been a fan but never before more than I am now. Your body positivity post and now this? You’re a credit to women. A credit to moms. A credit to humanity. Hang in there. You got this and you’re doing a great job. ❤️

  108. Ali, this post resonated with me so much and obviously many other moms based on the comments. My kids are much older now, but if I could go back I wish someone had told me how common it is what you are feeling now. We call it the dark years in our family, the times when our kids were your kids’ age. It took such a toll on our marriage and I too felt so much resentment towards my husband and felt like I gave up everything for our kids. My advice is make sure you spend as much time as you can with your husband, date nights, whatever and your friends, get all the help you can, and keep in touch with who you are outside of being a mom. We want to give it all to our kids but you have to take care of yourself first.

  109. I totally feel you! My kiddos are about the same age as yours. My oldest is turning 2 in about a week and my little guy is 3.5 months. My husband and I decided to put our daughter in ‘summer school’ and that has helped us tremendously!! We also have our parents that leave near by to come and help me during the weekend when my husband has to work( he is a realtor). Just hang in there and I always wake up with zero expectations on how my day will be and it has helped me keep my sanity!! ❤️❤️❤️

  110. The transition from 1-2 kids was SO HARD for me! Reading this was like stepping into my life 7 years ago. I have 3 now and a husband out of state half the year, and 2-3 was a breeze for me, but I spaced them out. Hang in there, Momma. One day at a time. Try to have something to look forward to at the end of every day, a show to watch, book to read, bath… try to take at least 30 minutes when Kevin comes home to just be alone. I promise it get better, soon! xoxo

  111. Ali, can I suggest you add a “like” button to the posted comments? Because I could agree with almost each and every one!!!

  112. I have been a stay at home mom of 3 for the last 6 years. It is so much harder than working at my prior position as a CPA. I have found that you have to get out of the house EVERY DAY even if it’s a walk around the block with the kids in the stroller. It does so much for your mental and emotional health.
    It’s also so helpful to have your house cleaned if you can because it makes you feel accomplished.
    Routines also definitely help. I still haven’t figured it out as it’s a challenging and rewarding season of life but hope these things help you!

  113. Thank you, thank you for sharing. I’m going through the same thing and you are helping me through it.
    We can do this.

  114. You will survive, I promise! I had 3 under 3 and I lived to talk about it. There were exhausting days but now they are all grown up and I survived. I even decided I should do it 2 more times! 4 girls 1 boy! Now I’m enjoying 2 beautiful granddaughters and I couldn’t be more thankful for my children. I promise things will get easier!💜

  115. You are not alone in this. It was an incredibly hard transition for me. I was a mom of an only child for six years (took several years trying for baby #2). After baby #2 arrived I was shocked, upset, angry, and frustrated at how difficult it was for me to adjust. It literally took me about a year before I could mentally handle things. Hang in there Momma because the days are tough…. But always remember that you’re not alone!

  116. I have 4 month old twins (first children) and I routinely recycle outfits that don’t have spit up on them. I also still wear pjs as you described because sometimes it’s a stay at home day, or DAYS and our kids will love us regardless ❤️

  117. Tell me about it!! I feel your struggle, my daughter is 6 weeks old, wants to nurse every hour (growth spurt I think), and will NOT sleep on her own. She has been sleeping on my chest every night and will not go in her bassinet. She will go from asleep to wide awake the second I put her down 😫

  118. You are doing great, Ali! Being a mom is truly the hardest thing……ever! Having your nanny is a great addition to help out. You, just like all of us need to feel adult, and part of that is feeling wanted by other entities besides our children. Breaking up the monotony will help. :). Don’t beat yourself up……..I’ve been there before (my second and third are 19 months apart), and it really does get better….promise! Take care, give yourself a hug, your family one too, and remember you are amazing! P.S…….sleep will happen soon enough which will help too! None of us can function normally without good sleep!

  119. I can totally relate to this. Some days/weeks I feel like I have this 2 little babies thing nailed and other times I’m like “Wow this is the hardest thing ever. Why did I think this was a good idea?”. I’m so jealous my husband gets to go to work and socialize with adults and drink warm coffee and eat lunch with both hands if he pleases! Anyways, as they say, “this too shall pass” and things will get easier – probably in about 5 years LOL

  120. Ali, I love that you keep it so honest and real! I have a 9 month old and there are days where I am completely overwhelmed, exhausted, cranky, and want to cry. I sometimes get mad at my husband because I just don’t think he “gets it”. Being a mommy is the best and I love my little guy more than anything, but it is also the hardest job. Sometimes I feel like something is wrong with me when I feel like I can’t do it all!! It is so nice to hear the other side of being a mom and to know that I’m not alone. You are amazing and thanks again for sharing with us all! ❤️

  121. I repeat to myself over and over again on those hard days with two kids, “just keep swimming, just keep swimming”. You never know when a Disney movie is going to help you in everyday life ☺️😂☺️ Finding Nemo to be exact ❤️

  122. Thank you for this post Ali. I can totally relate to everything you said. My oldest son is a month younger than Molly and my youngest son is a month younger than Riley. Having 2 young kids is also definitely more challenging than I had imagined but after having my first I know how quickly time passes and how fast they grow up. Hang in there girl! You are doing awesome.

  123. Not sure what you expected but yes of course 2 is hard, especially at their ages. And I hate to say this but it’s not going to get any easier anytime soon. 3 & 4 year olds are super hard in diff ways. You are fortunate to be getting a nanny to help you.

  124. This is exactly what I needed to read, thank you for sharing the vulnerable and real tough moments in the parenting journey. I struggled to have a child and I get hard on myself for having all the thoughts and emotions you described and I so appreciate knowing that others go through it too and that these experiences are valid. May this ebb past soon and bring some flow and relief even if for a brief moment. Sounds like you are doing the very best you can. That IS ENOUGH. ❤

  125. As Moms, we know what you’re feeling! 2 kids 2 years apart is not easy at all! What happened to all your followers that said having kids close together was great. It’s just hard. Mine were 3 years apart so I didn’t experience it but I can see how it would be very difficult. Hang in there, it will get better!

  126. Love this! I have a 2.5 yr old boy and 3 week old boy and couldn’t have said most of this better. When it gets hard I just try to focus on “no one said it would be easy, but they promised it’d be worth it!” 😊

  127. Hey Ali,

    This is my first time commenting on your blog but I have been following you for years. I first want to thank you because when you posted the blog about the sleep coach and the steps you took with Molly to sleep train it changed our life for the better. I have a 4 yr, 2yr and 5 month old so we are kinda in the same boat. We used tips from the sleep coach with my second and it worked like a charm. I’m trying to implement the same things with my 5 month old but she is not adapting as well. I’m not sure if its because she is so much younger because my second was 10 months when we trained her. Are you planning on training Riley? When do they recommend we start training?

    As far as parenting goes girl its stinking hard but so rewarding! I think you are a great mom and really inspiring. You love your babes unconditionally and that’s all that matters. So you keep swimming because you have a lot of other moms right there with you!

  128. Ali,
    I cannot tell you how much I relate to these blog posts. I find myself envying my husband all the time for getting to go to work! He is an amazing husband, and I too break down sometimes to him when he gets home. I share your posts with him so he knows I’m not the only one in the world that has these thoughts! Motherhood is amazing but it can be lonely, especially when you had a strong identity in the workplace before motherhood. I look to your posts for comfort all the time. It feels better just knowing that I’m not alone with these thoughts. We will be trying for a second next summer and my little boy just turned one. He is everything to me and I can’t wait to have another one but the struggle is definitely real and I am so thankful you are spreading the message and helping so many moms. I’ve never commented on a blog post ever, so yeah… you have really impacted my life. Thank you!

    Amanda

  129. Thank-you for keeping it real!! I hope you have a better week with everything 💙 I totally understand- was a single momma for 6 yrs and sometimes things just get to be too much:( I hear you about the early days with little ones. Showers? What?? I can relate-🤷‍♀️😉 It is definitely ok to let it out and no prob if you get upset. Better than holding it in. Also, taking care of yourself is definitely a must! 💖💖💖You are an inspiration to so many!!

  130. I can relate to EVERYTHING that you said about adjusting to two kids. My second son, Henry, was born at the end of March. Juggling two kids (toddler and infant) is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. On some days, when my baby is screaming and my first born is throwing an Academy Award winning toddler tantrum, all I can sometimes do is cry right along with them. I also feel so bad when I loose my patience with my toddler, but the truth is, I think every parent has done it at some point or another. Thanks for being so honest about parenthood! It’s refreshing and therapeutic to me!

  131. I come from a very small town, and people who grow up there and stay there to raise their families, usually had at least three children! Many had several! But the key to keeping sane in those families, were having there own families in the same area. My mother had nine children, and I was number nine with a twin brother! Family members and neighbors helped each other all the time! Happy to see you have a part time nanny, much deserved, and she will probably become like family before you know it! My niece has 3 kids, no family around, but has joined mommy groups, and after time, they have all gotten to rely on each other. They also get together without the kids, but many outings with all the kids. She said it’s improved her mommy skills immensely, and she has made many close friends! And her biggest delight was how much better her toddler was around the new baby when exposed to the same with other children. She said she still, of course, has bad days, but can’t wait every week to be with other mommies. Hope this helps

  132. Ali, I remember those days well. Mine were 17 months apart. I still have guilt feelings about giving my son rice cereal at his late night feeding and visualizing it would swell in his stomach because my daughter was going to be up the crack of dawn. I thought I was going crazy. It is so hard. I am a grandmother now and my 46 yr old son died of pneumonia last yr. I would give everything I have to go back. Just love them, take an hour at a time. Sometimes a minute at a time. Get as much help as you can afford. If it is just a regular babysitter every Saturday night for a couple hrs while you go out and sit down with hubby and tell each other how great you are. Only positive reinforcement. No negatives. I wish I had a sitter come during the day even once a month so I could go to lunch with a friend. Get cleaning help. Once or twice a week. I wish I would have followed my advice. Good luck, Ali. This to will pass. Be kind to yourself. You are beautiful and accomplished and you are helping other mothers survive this busy times in their lives.

  133. Just having one was so hard for me. When I went back to work it was totally a vacation! I felt terrible feeling that way since we had fertility issues to even get him. Even now, he is almost 3, and it is still a vacation to go to work! haha But I love him to pieces!! Like you said it is a season and it will get better!!

  134. This was a great post because it is refreshingly honest. When I had my first I felt very overwhelmed. Then when I had my second when my first was 23 months, I felt like the dumbest person in the world. I could not wrap my head around why people had more than one child and how I would ever be able to manage them. I was scared to drive with them. I was worried about not having enough breastmilk. I couldn’t figure out what to do with them when my husband or nanny wasn’t around. I thought I would never have a career again. I wasn’t working out, etc.
    And then I decided to have another one!
    Now I have three sons who are 10, 8 and 6 and I have returned to work and am in a management position with great benefits, great responsibility and a great team. My husband and I somehow figure out how to make it work, but it’s not always easy and it’s not always fun. We make time for the kids, for each other and for ourselves. I’m even training for triathlons. I’ve done two in the past four months and will do my third in September. It’s a lot, but it keeps me sane and happy. You know what they say? Happy wife, happy life!
    You have great perspective. You are definitely in the thick of it. Cherish it. It’s like the podcast, “Longest Shortest Time.” That phrase really resonates with me. I’m definitely able to appreciate my 6 year old more than I did his eldest brother when he was 6. With time, you start to relax and really, be able to relax as the kids get more independent….The day we got rid of that diaper pail was one of the best days of my life!!!
    Good luck. You’re doing great!

  135. I know this post is old, but this was seriously exactly what I needed to read today! Our kids are similar ages – my daughter is 2 years old and my son just turned 1 month. Holy moly, juggling two kids is seriously hard. Some days I feel like super mom, but these past few days have been REALLY rough. Between my daughter wanting to be held 24/7 or she throws a temper tantrum and holding/nursing a newborn, this mama is struggling. Thanks for normalizing this whole process. You’re doing a great job, mama!

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