This week has been ridiculously challenging for me as a parent and in some cases as a person. It’s such a juxtaposition from last week. Last week I was on a total high surrounded by nothing but love and positive vibes in every aspect of my life! This week has been a little bit different.
I mentioned on Instagram stories last week that we had hired a part-time nanny who will come help me out until 11:30am everyday. She was here last week and it was super helpful! That’s probably part of the reason last week was such a high for me. I guess didn’t realize how badly I needed the help in the mornings until I had it. However, she had had a vacation planned for quite a while for this week so she’s not with us this week. She starts officially on Monday. Which after this week I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. Trying to keep up with my business endeavors, run my blog, and take care of my two small children has really proved to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t even know if I can say it’s something I’m “doing” because I feel like I’m not even accomplishing it. I just feel like I’m failing at it. Yesterday was literally the first time I’ve showered in a week. And most of the time during this past week, I stayed in pajamas all day. In fact, there was one day where I wore pajamas to bed, then wore them all day the next day, then back to bed, and then for half of the next day. Gross, I know. But if you’re reading this and if you are a parent yourself, then I’m sure you’ve been there too. Especially if you have more than one child. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like with three or more young children.
I’ve also lost my cool a lot in the past few days. I’ve lost my temper with Molly which I’m embarrassed to even say or admit. But I’ve just gotten so upset with her at times when the baby is screaming and she’s throwing a toddler tantrum for no reason. I’ve broken down in tears myself and when Kevin gets home from work. I’ll even throw my own little tantrums to him. It’s just been a really hard week.
Honestly, I find myself feeling angry at Kevin sometimes because he GETS to go to work everyday and get a break. I remember going to work after we had Molly and feeling like it was a vacation and not even work. And my “mom job” at home is 10 times harder now that we have two kids, so I bet going to work will feel like a spa day once I go back (when I’m emotionally ready to leave Riley – but that’s a whole other blog post).
So I guess the reason I wanted to write this today was to show you guys that I just don’t have it all together. I know I post really pretty photos to Instagram and here on my blog. And I write about how much I love my kids all the time because quite frankly, I do love them to pieces! But at the end of the day I’m a normal parent like all of you and I have breakdowns and failures. I hope you guys don’t only look at my photos but also watch my Instagram stories to get more of a sense of the real me. The mom that is just struggling to get by and sometimes failing miserably.
But, I always try to end my blogs on a positive note. And I will say that I did get myself pulled together to go to a quick meeting yesterday. And I actually have an event for my job to go to tonight! The show I work for, Home and Family, has their big event for Hallmark that all the on air employees go to. So I’m grateful to get out of the house tonight and spend some time with my colleagues that I’ve missed so much since going on maternity leave.
These photos are of the outfit I wore to my meeting yesterday. The blazer is part of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale and it still fully in stock! So many things from the sale have already sold out so I am pumped this blazer is still in stock. I think that’s because the photo on the Nordstrom’s website doesn’t make it look cute at all. I didn’t buy it online, otherwise I probably would’ve skipped over it based on the photo. But I saw when I was shopping in the store and I immediately fell in love with it. There’s only two reviews on the website but they’re both really good. One is 4 stars and the other is 5 stars. So if you’re considering getting it, go off these photos and not the photos on the Nordstrom website. Size down if you get it. I’m wearing a small. My earrings are also part of the Nsale, FYI
Anyway, this post is really just to let you guys know what’s going on my life right now. Even though this is been a challenging week I know things will get better and there will be amazing weeks in my future and even harder weeks in my future. I’m just taking it one day at a time and remembering to be grateful for these amazing children I have.