I Finally Showered! Ha!

Yesterday was such an up-and-down day for me. Or really I guess I should say down-and-up since it started out pretty rough and then got so much better. As many of you know, yesterday was Kevin‘s first day back to work. I have been dreading him going back ever since Riley was born and after yesterday, I think I was dreading it for good reason. Taking care of two kids under the age of two is hard work! And of course, the night before yesterday morning was Riley‘s hardest night yet. He was up almost every hour and then woke up at 4 AM for the day. I think I got 3 hours of sleep total. If that. It was so bizarre, he normally sleeps all the time (waking up often to nurse) but for some reason he was up from about 4 AM until 11 AM. And that’s after being up every hour all night long. So with him up at 4 AM and then Molly up at 6 AM I was absolutely exhausted yesterday morning.

1. MAXI DRESS | 2. BAR NECKLACE | 3. OVERSIZED WALL CLOCK

And in general, Molly is just at an age now where she’s needing constant attention. And she’s throwing toddler tantrums left and right. I think part of it has to do with her age and a huge part of it is probably the fact that she’s feeling jealous of baby Riley.  So to make a really long story short, I basically had a mini-breakdown yesterday morning where I was in tears because I was feeling so overwhelmed. And really I was just feeling so exhausted that I needed a good cry. When Kevin walked in the door from work, I basically melted into his arms and just let myself cry. I’m honestly pretty embarrassed to even admit this since it was only my FIRST day home alone with two kids under two. I have to do this for years! And here I am breaking down on the very first day. I think I was just so exhausted that I couldn’t think or function rationally.

So when Kevin got home from work around noon (Yes I’m super lucky that he goes to work at 4 AM and is home by noon every day), he insisted that I go take a nap and then take some time to myself. So I did just that. I took about an hour and a half nap and then I jumped in the shower, put on some make up, blow-dried my hair and put on a cute maxi dress just to wear around the house. The reason I did all that is I just really needed to feel like myself even just for a couple hours. Riley is going to be 3 weeks old tomorrow and in the last 3 weeks, I’ve only showered 3 times and the only times I put on any make up is when we did a family photo shoot and a home tour photo shoot of our house. I never just got ready for the day to get ready for the day. And I needed to do that to feel like me again. And you know what?! It felt really nice! Of course I had to snap some pics for the blog and gave my very best Angelina Jolie leg. Ha!

1. MAXI DRESS | 2. BAR NECKLACE | 3. OVERSIZED WALL CLOCK

And let me just rave about this maxi dress for a minute. I first wore it when we did our home tour photos a few days ago, and I have to say that for the first time since I gave birth, I actually felt like I looked OK in regular clothes again. And don’t get me wrong, I’m still 19 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight and my belly is as jiggly as can be. It hangs over my jeans and I’m totally OK with that! Actually, who am I kidding, I don’t wear jeans these days I only wear leggings but it hangs over my leggings. Ha! But what I love about this dress is that I feel pretty in a piece of clothing again (I haven’t since giving birth). It’s just super flattering and the material is forgiving. I’m wearing a size medium which is my pre-pregnancy size. It comes in yellow too.

Oh and while I have you guys I have to tell you about the amazing clock on the wall in the staircase behind me! It’s a big oversized white clock that is meant to look like the clock in Chip and Joanna Gaines’ house. I’m obsessed with Fixer Upper so naturally I love it! I got it from a small shop on Etsy called West Warren Clocks that is owned by a husband and wife. I messaged back-and-forth with one of the owners, Nicole, and she could not have been sweeter! She answered all my questions promptly and I could tell that making these clocks is a true passion project for her and her husband! If feels really good to support her shop and if any of you are looking for a gorgeous clock for your home, I couldn’t recommend their shop more! The quality is beautiful and the prices are so good for what you get! THIS is the exact clock we have. I’ll share more photos of it when we do our home tour reveal in a few weeks.

Anyway, I just want to give you guys a little update on me and fill you in on what’s going on in the Manno household. I have someone coming over this morning to help me with Molly so I can focus on Riley and hopefully have a less stressful morning. If there’s one thing I’m doing differently with Riley then I did with Molly, it’s asking for help as much as I can and whenever I need it! It’s so important to realize you can’t do it all on your own and I will happily admit that and take all the help I can get! Hope you guys have a great Wednesday!

100 Thoughts

100 thoughts on “I Finally Showered! Ha!

      1. Ali, make sure you are not going thru post partum depression. So so common. Talk to your doc. One day at a time. xoxox

  1. It was so refreshing to read this and to feel not alone! I have a daughter Molly’s age and my youngest is 4 months old (love following you as our pregnancies and experiences are so similar!) Taking care of two under two is the hardest job! There are times I can’t help but cry as well especially when I’m up at 5am for the day and my husband doesn’t get home until around 6pm! It’s long days and some days are great and others are mentally and physically draining. Just know you’re doing an amazing job and you’re not alone! You have a beautiful family!

    1. I truly can’t image not having Kevin home by noon. I know how lucky I am. Those 7 hours (from about 5am until noon) until he gets home are so hard and doing it until 6pm would make it even harder! Hang in there my friend!!! I am glad you are a part of my blog! We need to be here to support one another!

    2. Same here, my daughters are 23 months and 4 months now – 2 under 2 is no joke! And my husband works very long hours as well, often 6-6 or later and we have no family in the city with us. But as Ali said, asking for help and accepting it has been the lifesaver for me. I have had to let go of a lot of things like meal prep and tidiness and laundry being all up to date, haha! And now at the 4 month mark I am finding it’s JUST starting to get a little easier in some ways. And soon my youngest will be sitting up and then eating at the table with us – it all changes so quickly! Way to go, super moms!!

  2. I used The Wonder Weeks app Which saved my sanity when my son was very little! It tracks cognitive growth spurts and often gives you reason for their rough patches (bad sleep, more fussy, etc). Just having a “reason” behind those rough days made me understand and be so much more patient! Good luck!

    1. I had that with Molly but the weeks didn’t seem to line up with her. I will try it again with Riley! Thanks Alison!

      1. One of the things with the Wonder Weeks is that it’s based on the due date and not the birth date. So, maybe that’s why it didn’t add up? Just a thought.

        It’s pretty amazing how much we learn from one baby to the next. With our first son, I didn’t want anyone else to take care of him or to even leave the house really. With my second, I was totally willing to go out and leave the baby with family. Sometimes I’d also use time away from the baby to give my first some one-on-one time.

  3. Ali, as an older mom, let me just say that all that you are experiencing is normal! I had 2 who were 31 months apart and experienced the exact same thing . I’m so happy that you have assembled the troops for support and that Kevin gets home at noon because as you said that’s amazing. Don’t worry about Molly when she’s with Kevin imo – she’s getting that attention and you can focus on baby. With 2 – especially close together – the ideals do slip but that is OK! I wrote in a baby book and took tons of pics with my first and with my second I think I made one entry lol. It got much easier when my oldest started pre-school and he was occupied 3 hours a day and could could count on that time w/ baby and in the afternoon they both napped. Tag-teaming is good now and sleeping like today when Kevin came home is the most important thing. For sanity! I think as you alluded to, when you have “just” one, it can feel unexpectedly daunting with 2, but you are in early days and things WILL gel, you WILL adapt, you WILL get sleep, and it WILL get easier! Keep up the great mothering!

  4. Ali, I think you are looking great. Its been two years and I am still struggling with my pregnancy weight! You will be fine, you just need time to get a system in place. I am kind of OCD so make lists and after making the list it kind of takes the pressure off me. Not sure why it works for me but it does. So you will find your system soon enough.

  5. I feel you, girl! I have a two week old and an almost two year old (who has become quite the handful) and I’m dreading when my husband goes back to work! I’m sure I’ll be in tears on the first day as well. It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job though, and you look great. Try to be kind to yourself and hang in there. In the grand scheme of things this is just a fleeting phase!

  6. Oh Ali! I can only imagine. And I just want you to know you are a lot stronger than you think!
    I have a 2.5 year old and I’m having melt downs every other day and I don’t have a new born lol 2 years old is HARD and the fact that you are tackling a 2 year old and a new born just amazes me. You deserve a good cry and if that has to happen everyday for the next little while that is okay! Just know you are such a good Mommy and you are doing the best you can!

    I hope you have a better day today and always ask for help when you need it 🙂

  7. I just want to reach through the screen and give you a hug! I had my 2nd only 2 weeks after my 1st turned 2. It’s fresh in my mind how hard it was! Don’t feel any shame or embarrassment that you lost it! And thank you for being open about the real struggles of parenthood and that it’s not all rainbows and sunshine! It will be an adjustment for everyone to being a family of 4 and definitely for little miss Molly. Mine acted out in the form of really bad sleep regression but alas, my 2nd is 1.5 now and things get better and better. Hang in there and enjoy the newborn snuggles!!

  8. Ali, I LOVE your blog, I look forward to reading it every day. I don’t have kids yet so I can’t relate to the tiredness your’re describing but this post just once again shows how real and relatable you are in your posts.
    Also I am dying to see your home tour. My fiance and I have been decorating the house we recently bought and preparing it for our upcoming wedding taking place in our backyard. Can’t wait to get lots of ideas from the tour! From the glimpses so far it looks beautiful!!

  9. Hi Ali
    Your honesty is so refreshing, I understand how you have been feeling. You’ll find a routine that works for everyone…but I’m happy that you are asking for & getting some help!
    I enjoyed watching your mamavideo the other day.
    (I have a clock similar to yours & I love it)
    Sending you a mama to mama hug!
    Ps. Kevin is a gem!

  10. Hi Ali
    I’m happy you’re asking for and getting help!
    You’ll find a routine that works for everyone…it takes time but I know you’ll continue to be a great mom.
    I enjoyed watching your mamavideo the other day.
    I have a clock very similar to yours & I love it.
    Ps. Kevin is a gem
    Sending you a hug

  11. I’ve been looking for maxi dresses to wear this summer, and this one keeps popping up in my searches on Nordstrom.com. Do you mind if I ask how tall you are? I’m just over 5’2″ and usually end up ordering petite sizes in dresses because the length usually works better for me, but sometimes the regular sizes end up being fine. I noticed this dress does not come in petite, so I’m wondering if it would be too long…

  12. Hang in there my blog friend.. 🤗😘
    Remember your body is going through a lot now which of course brings on no patience, more stress and a lot of tears.

    Which my mom had said, to me at one time when I was a mess full of tears.. “that’s why God gave us tears” and there’s no reason to feel like a failure at being a mom.. we’re all human and we’re not to be perfect!

    Your doing great! And what Jolly Molly is going through is completely normal. Of course she’s going to act this way since she has had your attention all this time and she sees your attention more towards Smiley Riley now..

    What you need to do is when Kevin is off or someone comes over to help.. make a special day for Jolly Molly and Mommy time together as you did before!

    Have her get excited as you plan your day together.. and if you can try to do this once a week.
    Get a calendar that she can see when the day is coming… put it in her room and count down to that day…That way she’ll be excited to know it’s just Mommy and me Day!
    It’ll be good for both of you.. and she’ll see that she still has Mommy and me day..
    And let Kevin also do his time with her!

    Hang in there! It’ll get better! One day at a time remember! And don’t forget you can always ask God to help! 🙂🙃😘💕

    🤗😘💕💙 to Jolly Molly, Smiley Riley, Devin Kevin and Fuzzy Owen 🐕
    And you of course 🤗😘💕 xoxo

  13. This is giving me flashbacks to silently crying while holding a sleeping 2 week old when my husband had to go back to work. And that was just with one kid! I can’t imagine 2. I’d say the first day is probably the hardest in terms of the most shocking. Soon it will just become life. Life that you’ll need a me-time break from once in a while, sure. But life.

  14. I’m so glad I’m not the only one breaking down. I’m exhausted… my first son turns 2 in July and my second was just born on 5/22. It’s only noon here and it’s my first day home with both by myself. We’ve had two toddler meltdowns, both babies crying at once and I thought to myself how am I ever going to do this without wanting to cry?!

  15. You sound smart and together !! Cry whenever you want! Feels so much better after the cry! I don’t have babies yet but follow ladies like you so I feel good and ready when I do. You’re a beautifullllll mom and wife and role model for all of us! YOU GOT THIS, You really do 👌🏻💕👑

  16. I have a 3 month old and a 21 month old and I promise you it does get better. The first 3 months are survival. Here is a post from when I started to turn the corner that hopefully gives you comfort…

    The last 3 months have been the wildest time of my life. With a colicky newborn and a very demanding, energetic 19 month old, I often didn’t know if I was coming or going and everything in between. So many people told me I was going to have my hands full but nothing could have prepared me for just how true that would be. An indescribable love that seeps out of every pore in your body mixed with an emotional, mental & physical exhaustion that can’t be explained. #sleepdeprivationisnojoke
    Trying to navigate my way through this new season in life while finding balance, was and still is a daily challenge for me. I kept waiting for my superhuman powers to kick in like all the amazing mamas around me but to be honest, I often found myself struggling just to keep my head above water. A good friend’s words never rang more true, “damn mama, grab that life vest and get in the freaking boat!! Learn to ask for help and when others offer, accept it and then hold on tight to the vests that are all around you.” My gosh was she right (love to you, Aubrey)! Learning to accept help was difficult for me but those life vests are what saved me. They say it takes a village and isn’t that the truth. My tribe, my people…are beyond AMAZING! From family to friends, from physical support to moral support, so much love for my tribe ❤️I am forever thankful! Another great friend shared with me an excerpt from a letter she had received that I often referred back to during the hard times. “You’re in the trenches right now and you’re going through the most difficult time of parenting but the trenches are where moms are the strongest.” Thank you Katie for sharing, in the trenches is where I found my strength.
    Motherhood. The toughest job I’ve ever loved and one that I am grateful for every single day. #grabalifevest #mytribe #turningacorner #igotitfrommymomma

    1. Your writing and the two notes from friends are so terrific! Ali will love this post, I’m guessing!❤️

  17. I love how real and open you’re being about this! I have a 15 month old son and 32 weeks pregnant with another. I stay home and some days are so overwhelming I am getting terrified for how it will be when I am alone with two! My husband does work long hours so I will be very alone lol so many people just say oh you’ll get the hang of it. It won’t be so bad. I want to hear the nitty gritty scary and bad so I mentally prepare and also know it is ok to cry lol thank you 🙂

  18. I love this! I just had my first baby and have a dog. Not the same but I had my baby by c section and we live in an apartment. While I’m still recovering it is SO hard to do much and my baby will only nap during the day on me 😑 I’m glad your husband was so understanding! I felt refreshed for you to have just time to feel yourself! Momming is a full time 24/7 job!

  19. It gets easier is what I can say! I had my baby girl on my other first girls 2nd bday!! So going thru the tantrums and some little jealousy at first ! Luckily now 8 months later there’s no more jealousy and or tantrums but still being a stay at home mom until husband gets off around 7pm is still tough! I feel you! But you are doing a great job and have such cute kids!

    Ps: my baby girls name is Rylee 🙂

  20. I was the same way! My son was born a week before Riley and my daughter turned 2 a few days after that! I was a wreck when my husband went back to work and cried my entire first day by myself! The tantrums from my daughter caused me to cry instantly when she started.

    It gets easier, and I’m only a few weeks in with him back to work! Ask for help when needed, it’s a life saver! You’ve got this!

  21. My daughter is now 18 month and my son is about to be 4 months old, so my two are 14.5 months apart!!! It’s hard work girl, I cried when my husband left for his first day of work and I stayed home with them! It’s hard being a momma especially when the older one doesn’t totally understand why Mommy can’t help and be with her all the time:( it gets better!! I promise

  22. I remember two weeks after delivering my twins baby girls, I was on my own. My husband worked until 6pm. At 4 pm the babies both screamed for two solid hours on the first day. Nothing I did worked. Don’t be too hard on yourself. This mother thing, while amazingly rewarding, is no joke! Glad you have a good hubby that gave you some time! You’ll get he swing of it. It just takes some time! You have a beautiful family!

  23. My kids are now 16 and 12 and I can barely remember those days, but it will all work out that I can assure you. Dont worry about the messy house and things that need to get done. Try to live in the moment, getting dressed and ready does help you feel better. All the best, you got this!!!

  24. It gets better!!! Our daughter turned two yesterday and our son is 9 weeks old, so they’re about the same ages as your little ones. Every time I had to nurse the baby, my toddler would cry and say, “Mama, hold you!!” so there were lots of tears from all of us early on! It’s so hard at first, so give yourself (and Molly!) lots of grace and time to adjust 🙂

    Also, I know you sleep trained Molly later on but you NEED to check out Taking Cara Babies! It’s a sleep program for all ages but she has a newborn class we did online and started when baby was 4 weeks old and he’s 9 weeks old and slept for 10 hours last night! She’s amazing!!

  25. Thank you so much for writing this!! I am in the exact same position as you and even a few hours alone with both my girls (just turned 2 and 6 weeks) alone leaves me in tears. It is SO hard and it’s ok—you do not need to be embarrassed at all. But I know it will get easier and it’s ok for it to be super overwhelming right now. I’m really trying to not let my feelings of being overwhelmed impact my feelings about myself as a mom. You seem like a great mom, keep it up!

  26. I’m right there with you! My second was 3 weeks on Saturday and her dad had to work 5 days in a row (usually he does 2-3 days in a row since he works 12 hour days Friday through Sunday). It was ROUGH and I have definitely cried a few times (per day😂).
    My oldest is also struggling with fits just like Molly! (He’ll be 2 in August). I’m so glad you reached out for help, I need to remember to do that too!

  27. Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with your kiddos. You needed a good cry. Being a Mommy is so fun and hard at the same time. Hang in there!
    You’re doing GREAT! Enjoy this sweet time!

  28. Hey Ali —

    I dont have any kiddos yet but hopefuly will soon!! Your sweet family is family goals for sure!! Love all of the honest advise we get from you.

    I just wanted to drop in and tell you how inspiring you are and how much I look forward to all your insta stories, insta/Facebook lives, blog post and everything in between!! You are just so real and I admire that so much!! Your sweet family is so adorable and so real and I just love that about yall!! Dont ever feel you have to be picture perfect because everyone’s live is beautifully crazy!! You will start to get in a routine that is perfect for your family and everything will start to piece together a lot easier.

    Thanks so much for sharing this clock, I have been looking for something just like that and I think Im going to purchase that. My husband and I are building a “Joanna Gains style house” goosh love her!!

    Dont ever forget you are such an inspiration to sooo many people! Life gets crazy sometimes but you are incredible and will make it work!! Dont ever change!!

    PS you are rocking the Angelina Jolie leg 🙂 … seriously you look great!! 🙂

    xoxo Brittany

  29. My kids are the same exact age difference as Molly and Riley. It’s no joke but you will find your groove. One thing that helped me with my daughter was getting her involved with every aspect of my son. “Want to help change your brothers diaper?” (Hand her a diaper to hand right back to me), “want to turn mommy’s pump on?”. She started feeling like she was part of everything and always included. Now at 2.5 and 9 months respectively, it is seriously THE best.

  30. Hey Ali –

    Just a suggestion, please don’t take this as me being judgmental. But have you considered pre-school or a mother’s morning out program for Molly? I know where I live there are some half-day programs or even some that are just a few days a week. I was just thinking she’s at the age where she might enjoy being around/playing with other kids. Finding something that you trust and are comfortable with is key! Either way, good luck with the kiddos. I’m sure in a few months you’ll get down to a good routine! I’m expecting my second and have a 2 year old, and I’m definitely nervous about the newborn/toddler combo!

  31. Hi Ali,

    I follow your blog and I just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. I recently had a baby in the middle of May and my other baby just turned two. My husband went back to work a week after she was born and I was by myself with the two girls. I cried the entire day… it was awful. It was so stressful and overwhelming. But I have to let you know it does get a little easier once you figure out how to manage your new life. Keep up the good work. You’re doing great ❤️

  32. Honey you got this! The first 3-4 months is really hard! I have a 3 year old and a 8 month old, by 4 months I finally saw light at the end of the tunnel! You will get thru this. Try to cherish little Riley as a newborn, I don’t remember anything from my baby’s few months. I just needed to survive! But now, they are interacting and playing together… there is nothing better! You got this mama!!

  33. You are not alone! I think it’s soooo much harder going from one child to two!! I have a 4 year old and a two year old and there definitely was an adjustment period. The whole first year was hard! But you will find your groove again. One day things will just *click* and you’ll have a new normal. I had big brother help with the baby and I tried to make him feel like it was a team effort to take care of his little sister. That helped a ton! And I try to have “dates” with each kid every once in awhile. He knows he isn’t number one all the time, but he is still loved and special and important all the time and little ice cream dates or movie dates help show him.

  34. I 100% feel your pain, Ali! I currently have a 22 month old daughter, and a 10 day old son! Daddy went back to work after just 4 days off, and his first day back was HARD! My day started with a meltdown between Daphne and I over a diaper change, she cried, I cried, and then she went the rest of the morning with no clothes on because I just could fight with her. She has always been extremely attached to me, but with Merrit here now, she is very jealous, and very testing. I try to reason with her the best I can, and I totally understand where she and her feelings are coming from, so I’m just hoping with a little extra love and attention the phase won’t last long! You are an inspirational woman and mother, and you are doing great! I love watching your instastories, and Daphne always has a big smile on her face when she sees Molly in them!
    Also, Congrats on little Riley, he is perfect!

  35. I am so glad you wrote this blog post. I have a 17 mo the old and a new 1 month old. My newborn is up all the time to nurse and takes forever to go back to sleep. My husband went back to work 5 days after he was born because he gets paid on commission and if he doesnt work we don’t make money. I still feel overwhelmed most days with both kids and with little sleep my patience runs thin. I am terrible at asking for help because I don’t want to inconvienence anyone but I’ve learned in the last couple weeks I need as much help from family as I can get. Some days I break down with a good cry too and I feel like there’s something wrong with me so I am so happy to hear your similar feelings. Hang in there mama… I keep telling myself, every stage is temporary so soak it in and enjoy it while it lasts!

  36. First of all, you look beautiful! And doesn’t showering make you feel like a new woman?! 🙌

    Second of all, just wanted to say how great you’re doing. I remember when I had my second and my hubby went back to work and I cried and cried and cried. I have two little girls (11 months apart) so believe me I know exactly what you’re going through. It’s hard but amazing at the same time. Just know you are doing great and the time will fly before you know it. My girls are about to be 1 & 2 and I don’t know how we got here already! It’s been the hardest but greatest year of our life! You’ll feel the same way!

    Keep being awesome!

  37. It DOES get easier. My daughter is 2.5 and my son is almost 4mo. My husband works 6 days a week and is out of the house from 5am to 6pm. One day, it will just click. You’ll find ways to make your life easier. Molly will adjust. The lack of sleep will always be hard, but that too shall pass. Hang in there. You’re amazing and beautiful and honest and inspirational. You got this!

  38. I have 3 kids 3 and under, and the best advice I ever got was to shower every day! It helps me stay sane, plus the 10 minutes of alone time is so nice!!! Me time is so important- even 10 minutes a day!

  39. Hey Ali! I so can relate to the day you had! Going on 10 weeks with my second and things are slowly starting to feel normal. My favorite part of the day is plopping him on the “boppy lounger” on the bathroom floor…even if it’s just for a few minutes! And he loves the sound of the running water! Omg what a good shower means these days haha try it! Love your blog! Xo

  40. I feel like I could have written this exact blog today! We had our newborns on the exact same day (May 24th!) and I also have a two year old daughter at home. I literally almost had a nervous breakdown about an hour ago trying to deal with the needs of a sassy toddler and a newborn that only wants to be on me at all times. Having two is tough and it’s so much tougher being alone when the guys are at work. I’m right there on this journey with you, hoping it gets easier each day. Good luck and fingers crossed for us. 🙂

  41. 2 under 2 is no joke! Mine are almost 3.5 and almost 19 months now and it does get easier, still crazy, but easier! I work full time so my kiddos are in daycare all day and I always say that going to work (for me, not speaking on behalf of everyone) is easier than me being home with them by myself all day. Major props to stay at home mama’s!

  42. Yes! I need to shower (even a quick one) and put on real clothes (not pajamas) to feel like myself, and it’s so hard during the postpartum weeks! Go easy on yourself, and enjoy those naps when dad gets home!

  43. I feel the same way my son will be 2 in August and my other son was born 5 weeks ago so very similar ages to your two…I am also breastfeeding and I feel so bad for my older son cause he gets so jealous whenever I am holding or feeding his brother which is all the time ha ! I love reading your blogs I feel the same way and can relate in so many ways to your stories! My only night I actually watch a show is Monday’s for the bachelorette 🌹❤️ I am off all summer because I work at a school but I find my older son needs constant attention which breaks my heart here’s to hoping things get easier 🤞🤞

  44. You look so pretty in this dress!! Also love all the white in your house, looks so refreshing. When will your house tour be posted? I can’t wait to see it 😍

  45. When I saw this blog post …., I literally started crying, because I relate to this so much ! When we had our first daughter Marian 3 years ago she was a dream newborn she literally slept through the night after her first week and would sleep sixteen hours a day !!! I could not believe it …and then when we got blessed with our second baby girl Molly on may 2, it was a polar opposite! She is sooo alert, and colic and sometimes fussy. Eats non stop, she was 5 pounds 6 ounces when we left the hospital and a month later is 7 pounds 10 ounces !!! She is filling out fast ! She will sleep all day and does well in the beginning of the night . For example last night she fell asleep at 8 and slept till 12 midnight and I gave her a bottle, she fell back till about 2 and was up wide awake till 4 am and then finally fell asleep till 830… I am exhausted 😩 and as I am typing this to you still in my pjs ( I live in scranton, pa ) so it’s 1:30 in the afternoon lol and literally when my husband went back to work, he works from home, but he is not available at all during the day, so I literally got nervous from the time I gave birth till the week off he got during my recovery, I had a csection. The first day was so awful having two kids under the age of 3..is exhausting! Marian in the beginning was not taking it well when Molly was born she cried when she visited me in the hospital and would cry anytime she cried or made a noise, because she is very jealous and I was getting so frustrated and would cry 😭 myself during the day, so I feel for you ! And it does get better , Marian is doing better and better with the baby Molly everyday! It’s all worth it in the end
    Thanks. Meredith

  46. Hi Ali! My name is Elizabeth, and I work with a group created to support moms called MOPS. It stands for Mothers of Preschoolers, but I kinda think of it as a no-pressure sorority for moms. Please email me if I can help connect you with other moms of young kiddos … As all the kind comments say, what you’re feeling is totally normal. Mothering truly is one of the hardest (but best!) jobs on the planet. The key is to mother along with other moms … and don’t try to do it on your own. Let us know how we can help you.
    :)Elizabeth Billups, MOPS — http://www.mops.org/

  47. For me going from 1 to 2 was not that difficult, but as a caveat, mine were 16 months apart so my older one was not in the throes of the two-year-old stuff yet. So basically I had two babies, and it was a lot of fun. And yes, I didn’t shower often, and my house wasn’t always clean, but who cares? I think you’re doing great, and I also know that in a couple weeks it will be so easy, you won’t know what you did with your time with only one. It’s kind of funny the more kids you have the easier it gets…..when I had baby #3, I would sometimes tell people, ‘I only have two of the kids tonight’ and they would be like, what do you mean ONLY two? It’s all a matter of perspective. Some night when Kevin takes Molly somewhere and you only have Riley, you will feel so free with ONLY one! Haha

  48. Ali .. thank you for being so real with us. I only have 1 boy he’s 9 . He’s a handful. He is autistic and adhd.. but would not have it any other way. I love reading your blogs. I have been a fan of yours since the beginning. You have a beautiful family. God bless! Amy

  49. I have 4 kids ages 8-15. I can tell you it gets so much easier. Hang in there!! You are doing great. I think feeling overwhelmed is completely normal. You’ve never had two kids before. Give yourself a break. 🙂 Way to go getting someone to help you out and taking time for yourself. I love reading your blog because you are so real. Thank you!!

  50. I know you really like wee sleep but I highly highly recommend taking cara babies online sleep class. It really teaches your baby good sleep habits from the beginning. I think of it every time I read your posts about Riley not sleeping well etc. Everyone that has taken it has been successful myself included. Just a thought……

  51. Hi Ali, First time looking at your blog. I just had my 4th baby. She is 6 weeks. One of mine is also a toddler. I just wanted to tell you or anyone this might resonant with this. That when you have those really hard moments especially when the the baby is crying and you tried everything or EVERYONE is crying and you just want to go and hide in a closet…. that during those minutes that feel like hours say to yourself “This will pass. It won’t always be like this.” It really won’t. It gets easier. Newborns are not meant to be easy, just beautiful. I also remind myself that when they get close to 3 months they are smiling all the time, less gassy, less fussy and more happy and more fun.

  52. Oh and if you don’t already…. Take that time when the baby finally sleeps and grab your toddler some bath toys and take a shower with her. Kill 2 birds with one stone and toddlers love playing in the water! You will feel so much better and refreshed if you take a shower every day.

  53. You forgot one contributing factor to your meltdown – hormones! In the first couple weeks post-partum with both my girls, everything made me cry! Hang in there mama! My 2 year old goes to daycare all week so I only have to focus on my infant. You’re doing great!!

  54. Even though my girls are in their tweens and teens now(gulp!) I can still remember exactly how you feel! This is SO normal, Ali. Having two littles while you’re beyond exhausted is hard. Just remember to give yourself a break-what you are doing is huge!
    Also-yes to what the other woman said about MOPS! That was a life-saver when I had a 2 year old and a newborn. Having a mom community is everything!

  55. Ali you are an absolute GEM! The way you share the ups and downs with us and you are so honest is so refreshing! Thank you for that! You are doing an incredible job! I’m due with our 2nd in under 2 weeks & our little girl is 4 and I’m nervous even though Charlotte’s 4! You look gorgeous in this dress!

  56. I think it’s so sweet that you’re being so honest about what you’re going through! It’s helpful to so many of us who have or are going through the same struggles. You are such a dear-heart and so absolutely adorable. ❤️

  57. Hi Ali,

    I’ve been a fan/reader of yours for quite some time, and have not posted before. However, I wanted to thank you for sharing this honest post. I have ONE and feel like crying from being tired, etc. Before my daughter was born, I had this “image” of what mommyhood would look like. Was I ever wrong! Some days are easier than others, of course but at end of the day, our babies are loved and well cared for. So glad you’re asking for an extra pair of hands when needed. You’re doing awesome, Mama! 😀

  58. My little guys are exactly 2 years (and 3 days) apart. My youngest is 8 1/2 months and while it definitely gets easier, I still occasionally have days where I melt down as soon as my husband walks in the door. Life with two little ones so close together is just hard. You’ll have plenty of days where you’re thinking “I’ve totally got this” and then days when everything just feels harder. It’s amazing what a hot shower (without an audience!) will do for you once your husband gets home to take over! Hang in there, you’ve got this!

  59. Omg… I remember those days so well! My first day or so home with both kids alone was hard! No one can ever prepare you for the transition from one to two but my best advice is to try to create a new routine that works for everyone! After a few days you will feel sooo much better! You got this! ❤️

  60. Whats your approach to toddler tantrums? Did you read any parenting book about discipline? Not sure where or when to start on that!

  61. This sounds like my first couple days home alone with my kiddos too. I have an almost 2 year old and a 3 month old. Two under two is no joke, you will get into a groove after a while and it won’t be as hard but give yourself grace these first couple weeks, it’s definitly an adjustment! Love reading your blog and watching your family grow.

  62. A toddler and a newborn is so hard! My first son was 2 1/2 when my second son was born. So we were already having tantrums, but the tantrums were taken to a whole other level after #2 came along. It does get better! I found that if I was able to take just a little bit of time, even 5-10 mins and give #1 undivided attention, it really helped! Granted that was just not possible at times during the first few months…
    You are doing so great!! Sometimes it’s just front through the day! And that’s ok!

  63. Ali,
    I am a mom of 3 boys! I have a 14 year old who has autism. (He is equivalent to about a 6-7 year old) then my youngest too are 14 months apart and are now 10 and 11. It does get easier. It’s been a mess in our household as my husband took a new job 2.5 hrs away and is staying with family while I try to get the house sold instead of him driving back and forth. My autistic one is not handling this change very well and we have been dealing with lots of meltdowns. All we can do is be the best mom we can be. If I could give any advice it would be take at least one hour a day and spent it with Molly. You don’t want to break that mother daughter bond. Take her to do her own special thing. I still have to do that with my two that are 14 months apart because even at 10 and 11 they are jealous of each other and you don’t want that.
    Much love,
    Sarah

  64. Ali I have always loved you since The Bachelor and have passively followed your Instagram until today when your Insta post caused me to read your blog. I am SO thankful that you are willing to be so real. Telling the world about your lack of showers and meltdown on Kevin’s first day back at work is so freaking real. Mamas need that. We need each other. We need to know that people like you feel what we feel. Thank you for being willing to be vulnerable and use your celebrity platform for good. We are all better that you are doing what you do for the world. And you are a great mama to two beautiful kids. ❤️

  65. It becomes your new normal. My son will be 2 on Monday and my daughter is 4 1/2 months. My husband unexpectedly went away for work in the beginning of May and was only able to come home for a week since (he finally returns on Sunday….for only two weeks 😔)! Two under 2 is incredibly difficult and I basically would cry at night after I put them to bed and my house was a complete disaster, only having to peel myself up and clean/do dishes and get ready for the next day all over again. Luckily you have help at some point throughout the day, but you’ll get into a groove. A few pieces of advice that helped me were when they both meltdown at the same time, which they will, tend to Molly because she understands what is happening. As long as the baby is safe, he’ll be ok to cry. The second is to have a few special toys or even arts and crafts in a place only you can reach so that when you’re nursing/feeding the baby, you can let Molly play with her special toys. My son loves the baby, and he can be very helpful, but as time went on and it was only me home, he started to become jealous of sharing me and these two things have helped! I actually got them both asleep at the same time tonight and for the first time am sitting down. I follow you because our babies have been the same age and even if it’s virtual, a Mom tribe helps!!! Keep keeping on!

  66. I feel your exhaustion!! After my youngest was born and my mom wen back home (5hours away)…I called her crying saying “I can’t do this!!” She replied…”you don’t have a choice now! Make some pancakes and have an extra cup of coffee”. She gave me no slack and tough love!! Hang in there mama, it gets easier and more fun!!

  67. Is Molly in any type of Moms day out or little pre-school program? She seems so smart and interested in things, she would likely love a program where she can play and have fun with friends. This would also give you a few days a week of time with only Riley and it would make her feel special and proud to go to “big school”. I had three kids in three years and when my youngest was four months, my husband and I split up. It was so incredibly hard being a single mom of three kinds 3 and under! Structure and routine are key! Hang in there.

  68. Girl, taking care of 2 under 2, not to mention boy and girl is no easy feat when you’re working, but you’re doing a great job. Girls are much better sleepers than boys so hang in there. I promise it will get better. I have a 3, 2, and 1 year old (all boys), work full-time,and just started sleeping through the night. Crazy, but wouldn’t change it for anything. I keep reminding myself that in the blink of an eye I will be wishing my teenagers were still babies. It’s not easy, but embrace your time with Molly and Riley, even when your most tired and irritable. You’ll never get this time back especially with Riley being your last. Love you, your beautiful family, your style, your puppy, and best of all your transparency. Keep on truvkin’ Superman!!!!

  69. Ali, mama! Give yourself some grace. Pregnancy hormones are real, and so is the overwhelming feeling of finding your families new normal. I can’t think of anything more normal than having a breakdown on day 1, two kids is your new norm, you will ease into it, you will find your way, and you will continue conquering your life. Sending you all the love, if your weren’t a famous girl (who would be creeped out I’m sure) I would offer to bring you a meal, some sweats/leggings company and someone to just check on you, cause you are important too! Keep you head up, you will find your normal❤️. Hugs and 😘

  70. Hey Ali!
    Not sure if you are going to read this, but I would love to read an entry on all your Etsy findings. I realize now that you have been mentioning different artists along these couple of weeks, and I just think it would be great to have all of them together in one entry, for an easier access in the future.
    Regarding the main topic here, YOU CAN DO IT!!! I know it must be hard, but you must be a very strong woman (as far as I can tell from the things you and Kevin tell about yourself). Just try to remind yourself in those difficult times that you are AS STRONG AS HELL and capable of anything.
    Sometimes we are our worst enemies.
    A big hug from Spain!
    Ale.

  71. Reason why people “want” 2 under 2 buffles my mind. Why in the world would you want to put yourself through that.

    1. Not everyone plans it that way, haha. I did not plan mine 16 months apart, but once it happened, I loved it. I didn’t find it so hard going from 1 to 2, or 2 to 3, but by then my older ones were 5 and 6. My biggest adjustment was zero to 1.

  72. You can do it. My first is a couple months younger them Molly and my second is five weeks old. Lack of sleep is a hard one and having two under two is a hard one. But I have learned you need to take care of yourself and feel good and then it makes for a much
    Better day. Hang in there hopefully it gets better. Love following your family and seeing how you guys are doing.

  73. My transition from 1 to 2 was really hard. The first 3 months I cried a lot but that’s ok. It’s not supposed to be easy (my transition from 2 to 3 was hard too because, turns out, parenting kids in general is just hard! Who knew?! 😉) This is my advice, which may be hard because you use social media for your work but here it is anyway: get off social media as much as you can. There are SO many accounts out there that post these gorgeous, peaceful images of motherhood that while they are fun to look at, are very far from reality. And there are mothers on there looking put together and beautiful while making homemade baby food and teaching their 3 year old to read in their perfectly styled home without a tantrum in sight. My point is, social media is skewing our perception of motherhood and when we have hard days or haven’t showered in a week or aren’t living in a peaceful state of baby bliss, we think that maybe we are doing something wrong, or that we are failing or we just become discontent and distracted from our own reality. Go unfollow accounts that aren’t helpful to you in this season and leave your phone in another room as much as you can. Reach out to real people you know in real life for help and connection. Don’t mistake internet connection for real, tangible connection. This will help get you through the hard parts, I promise. I struggled with everything I wrote above and only recently have realized how much it has messed me up and not surrounding myself with unrealistic images of motherhood has helped a lot. This transition is not supposed to be easy and it will be hard for a while but it WILL be worth it. You got this.

    1. This is great advice and maybe why I did not find it hard to go from 1 to 2 or 2 to 3. Back when there was no social media, no judging, no expectations. My first two were 16 months apart and I just took care of them and did what I needed to do, and went back to work. Maybe that’s the key…..I never read about all those perfect moms who do it all….I just did what I felt was the best way and what worked for me and my kids. And no lofty goals to try to match to. I think you hit the nail on the hard. And yes, I remember long days between showers, but I really didn’t care, my babies were healthy, happy and loved. Again, nothing to compare it to.

  74. Ali- I have one word for you…Snoo. It’s the bassinet sent from heaven. It is made by the Happiest Baby on the Block guy (5 S’s). My newborn went from waking up every hour to sleeping up to 5 hours (her weight allows it), the first night. It gently sways the baby and plays white noise. It lays flat and is approved for overnight sleep like any other bassinet. It’s not cheap, but the best $800 I ever spent!

  75. My kids are 21 months apart and the first few months were rough! My friend and I were talking about this the other day and as she said it’s like learning a new job without any training. It does get easier but each stage has its own challenges. My daughter will be 3 in October and she’s just started following directions the last couple months which has helped enormously but now that my son is 10 months and getting more mobile by the minute I really can’t take my eyes off of him even for a second! Hang in there you will figure it out and it does get better!

  76. Ali I appreciate your posts bc they are honest, real and the pics are beautiful. Thank you for letting us into your world. 🙂

  77. Ali, sleep is everything. I can haul all day long, but if I am sleep deprived I am super emotional and don’t have normal perspective. I remember my husband leaving to fly his week his week on and feeling like I was nervous. I am independent, capable, whipper snapper, CA girl, married later in life, Bob the Builder, and have years of RN experience. I used to get nervous about my kids getting sick of all things. My mom used to tell me, “Do you think your life is going to be like this forever?” The days are long, the years are short. I wish I could start a nationwide organization that allows moms even just an hour to refresh and shower without interruption when they are raising children. I know I am awful at asking for help and delegating, as I never want to burden anyone with my needs. There are people out there who really want to help you though. Take them up on it if they offer for your own sanity. Your family and you are adorable always.

  78. Re. your story about talking on the phone – mine both HATED it too and I honestly don’t know any kid who liked it either lol. I think it’s bc they see it as paying attention to someone else – even that the someone else is an inanimate object. But I guess I can their point – it’s still paying attention to to something else lol.

  79. Hi Ali,

    I had 2 under 2 as well but my older one was at daycare.i would.keep her home once or twice a week and picked her up early so we all still had plenty of time together. That saved me and my older one loved it, could be helpful one day for u too 🙂

  80. Hi Ali, I’ve loves you since the days of bachelor! You look great and you truly inspire me to be a better person and mom each day. I had my first baby on May 26th so I’ve been following your journey with baby Riley everyday. I am going back to work in August and I’m starting to pump and store my milk. I am exclusively breastfeeding right now which is exhausting and stressful. I am not sure when to introduce bottles because I do not want to lose our girl to the bottle as I love the bonding time of breastfeeding. Do you have any advice?

Shop Ali's Feed

Click an image to shop
@alifedotowsky