Slowing Down… And Nesting. How to do both?

On Wednesday I’m officially 34-weeks pregnant. Which means exactly 6 weeks until our little baby arrives. Well, to be honest with you, I’m actually hoping he comes a lot sooner than that. If he came in four weeks I would be one happy mama. I say that now but the more I think of it, I might not be ready AT ALL in 4 weeks. Only time will tell. And btw, I am shocked that I am still able to find cute non-maternity clothes to wear. Because my belly is HUGE! I am so happy that brands are making such cute clothes, like the dress I’m wearing in these pics, with high waists that I can wear while pregnant and well after! This dress is on sale for 40% off BTW and will be great for breastfeeding. And I love that it looks great with boots because they are so much more comfortable than a dress shoe.

UPDATE: I found the dress available HERE in all sizes! (since it’s starting to sell out on other website!)

  1. DRESS | 2. BEACH BAG/PURSE | 3. BOOTIES | 4. FEATHER BRACELET | 5. LAYERED CUFF | 6. GOLD CUFF

Anyway, I feel like I’m going through a really weird stage of my pregnancy right now. I’m definitely to the point where absolutely everything is hard to do physically. My aches and pains are constant and I know I should be slowing down. But in the same breath, I’m also in full on nesting mode. You guys are going to think I’m crazy, but we’re actually smack dab in the middle of designing and furnishing our entire house. Pretty much every single piece of furniture we had from our old house is being sold or donated because it just doesn’t work in our new home. And we are completely refurnishing the entire house. Thank goodness I have the help of a fabulous designer named Veronica Valencia. But even with her taking on all of the work she’s doing, there’s still a lot for any woman who is almost 9-months pregnant.

That said, I’m really trying to figure out how I handle my urge to nest and finish the house, but also listen to my body telling me that I need to slow down.

This week I did that by taking the week off of work. I don’t officially start maternity leave from Home & Family until after the baby comes. But I’ve significantly cut back on my days there and this week I was even able to take the entire week off. I’m very fortunate that I’m able to do that and that my company is so understanding of me taking care of myself both mentally and physically. How great would it be if every employer did that? I think about the women that work jobs where they are on their feet all day and work right up until giving birth and I just truly can’t imagine or figure out how they do it. Those women are true super heroes to me!

  1. DRESS | 2. BEACH BAG/PURSE | 3. BOOTIES | 4. FEATHER BRACELET | 5. LAYERED CUFF | 6. GOLD CUFF

But even though I was able to take some time off at Home & Family, as many of you know, I still work on a lot of other things. My main focus this week is going to be our house. We’re actually just finishing up our baby boy’s nursery this week! We’ll be sharing it with all of you soon! I’m really excited about that because it came out absolutely beautiful. I also have a few other work projects happening that I am going to be focusing on this week, so even though I’m not working on TV, I’m definitely still working. Just not non-stop like I normally do.

Another thing I want to do this week to help myself slow down is learn to put my phone away when I’m spending time with Molly. I’m really starting to get emotional about the fact that in a few short weeks I’m going to have a little baby boy that needs almost all of my attention and it really breaks my heart. I talk to other parents about this and they say that what usually happens is the daddy takes over with the older child since the mommy has to spend so much time nursing and caring for the infant. Kevin is an amazing dad, and honestly when I’m swamped with work, he takes over most of the parenting anyway. But the fact that I’m going to be so stretched thin with my time definitely makes me feel sad. So this week as part of my effort to slow down, I’m going to put my phone away as much as possible and focus on my time with my little girl.

And last but not least I’m going to schedule some time with my girlfriends. I was very fortunate to get some time with my girls at my baby shower last weekend, but during the shower I realized how much I miss spending quality one-on-one time with them. When you become a parent I feel like sometimes your friends sit on the back burner, and that’s OK. They have to because your husband and your child have to be on the two front burners. So this week I have two dates with friends. I’m going to an event with my friend Ashley on Tuesday, and then on Thursday I’m doing a play date with three of my girlfriends and all of our kiddos. I feel like it’s been so easy for me and my friends to say “let’s see what works” and then end up getting together last minute or not at all. But this time we made commitments, I marked in my calendar, and I’m keeping those commitments like they were business meetings! I consider those play dates self-care, and who knows how much time I’ll have to see my girlfriends once our little boy arrives.

Anyways, I’m not just sharing these things to tell you about myself. But I’m hoping this resonates with other women and encourages all of us to slow down and take care of ourselves when we feel like things are building up. And these are just the 3 things I’m doing right now to try helping myself slowdown and gear up for this baby, even though I’m in full on nesting mode at the exact same time! I’ve got to make some time for myself somewhere, and I think these small changes will help me feel more centered and ready for baby number two. And as always, I would love all of your advice on how you slowed down when you brought home another baby. Or if you weren’t able to slow down and had to “go go go” until the last minute, how did you stay sane? Would love to open the floor so we can all discuss and hopefully help each other out, so comment below. Us mamas have to have each others backs!

  1. DRESS | 2. BEACH BAG/PURSE | 3. BOOTIES | 4. FEATHER BRACELET | 5. LAYERED CUFF | 6. GOLD CUFF

37 Thoughts

37 thoughts on “Slowing Down… And Nesting. How to do both?

  1. Hi Ali
    Thank you for sharing your feelings & insights. I’m happy you have the week off work. Have fun with Miss Molly, your girlfriends & the play dates.
    You’re a sweetheart (& Kevin is too)
    xo

  2. You might want to schedule a little time for a full-on pity party, Ali. I always come out of those feeling so much better! Just some time to let it all out, and then gather yourself back together and march on.

    1. I’ve honestly had a few of those over the last 2 weeks. I try not to do a “pity party” on my blog, but I’m definitely had breakdowns lately. It’s healing sometimes. I think once I get through this stage, I will blogged about it more in depth.

  3. Hi Ali,
    Slow down!! It’s a shame how this world has become the way it is.. we’re always rush, rush, rush, stressed out, got to get this done.. it’s sad! 😔

    I am so glad that when I had my son in the eighties that there were no cell phones, no fb, no tweets it was such a different world back then!

    Spend time with Miss Molly! Relax, Relax, and Relax… Enjoy mommy and Molly time.. take naps together, play together, read her favorite books to her…

    You will find out and you’ve probably already see and say how fast they grow and grow..

    You know that your body will be changing and us moms can be real sensitive also after we receive our gift from God and us moms
    also can feel guilty and regret and say “I should have” and we can’t get the past back.

    So turn off your phone, turn off your blog and your house for a week.. Their not going anywhere..

    Be blessed,
    di 💕

    1. It’s so hard for me to pull myself away from my blog. And my blog is really like therapy for me sometimes. I love connecting with you guys and getting advice. SO I will absolutely slow and, but I will still be blogging. I write them at night after Molly is in bed and it’s calming for me 🙂

      But you are right, I won’t get this time back. So I am going to go snuggle Molly RIGHT NOW!

      1. If doing your blog is therapy for you then do it. I’m sure when the time comes you’ll know what you will want to do. And if you take a break from us I’m sure we’ll understand!
        We’ll miss ya, but we’re not going any where..
        Your friend,
        di ❤️

  4. I may be a little late in comments, but I am sure your love will grow and not be stretched out thin, you will have more experience in loving your new bundle of joy with Molly and Kevin as a family. Enjoy your nesting time! -Michelle

    1. I know you are right. But I still feel sad about one chapter ending. Even though I know the next chapter will be even better!

  5. I first want to say that I read your blog everyday and I can definitely relate to most things as a working mom myself! This is my first time commenting but I just felt compelled. I have a daughter who is 2 1/2 years and I just had a son 6 months ago. I remember feeling so anxious about how life was going to be when my son was born and how guilty I felt for essentially adding another kid and taking all of that time away from my daughter. BUT I was so worried for nothing! And I hope this will be the case for you. My daughter is absolutely the BEST big sister and there is nothing better than seeing her with her brother. It’s a totally different new normal but in my opinion there isn’t anything greater. She seemed to grow up over night and is the best little helper! It might seem crazy to some but 2 is almost easier than 1 for us anyway. My daughter was born to be a big sister and seeing the love that she has for her brother is incredible! Heart melting for sure! 🙂
    Wishing you nothing but the best and hope you take time for some much deserved rest! Growing a human is no joke!

    1. Cassie – First thank you for reading my blog everyday. Your support means EVERYTHING to me! And thank you for commenting! It makes me feel understood and like all the work I put into this is worth it! So thank you!

      I love your story. I really believe Molly will be the same way. So many parents have told me that it’s great having an older sister because they are so nurturing. Molly is so sweet and I am sure she will love on this little baby!

  6. Hi.

    My son is 2 years old. I’m full time working mom. And every single day I go to work I’m sad. I’m never going to get back the time I missed with him because I have to work. Right now I do have to work and it’s killing me. I’m struggling with this so much but quitting is not an option (unless I find 3 days good paying job) I be so much happier with working 3 days and being home 4 days.
    But anyways that’s the reason we not trying for baby #2 which I would love to have. I can’t stop thinking how would I be able to do it??? Working full time and then how would I be able to give both of my kids enough time. Omg. I don’t know what to do.

    But my sister told me it’s “quality over quantity” it’s not how much time you spend with your kids it’s how you spend it. So there is no tv on in our house. No phones in our house. It’s spending time as a family in our house. It makes me happy when we do that.

    But I’m still struggling…

    1. Just want to say that I respect what you are doing! Being a working mom is no joke. It’s really tough and it sounds like you work a lot of hours. Thank you for sharing the quality over quantity because that really helps me. I am trying to spend more time with Molly but I’m not super present because I have so many other things going on. Maybe more time isn’t the answer. Just better quality time! Thank you!

    2. Angelika,
      Im glad you brought that up. I cant remember what Instagram post I saw it on, but a “Negative Nelly” made a judgement comment in that, “parents would rather put their children in childcare just so they can have their nice car and home”. I educated her in a nice way about how all the Mommas Ive ever known cried that very first day (and more) when they dropped their baby off at daycare and how I never met a mother who liked to be in the position she was in. I wrote a really loooong reply, but I really felt that my voice needed to be heard on behalf of all the hard working Mommas out there.

      Thank you for being the voice on a very important and educational part of motherhood.

  7. Try to grab a few moments each day to rest. It will truly make a difference in how you feel. I too had a baby girl first and then a son four years later. It was very hard for me to think about having to share my time with two kids and take time away from my daughter. Your feelings are so normal! Trust me, it ALL falls into place and your heart grows twice as big and somehow you find that time to spend quality time with both. You’re a fabulous mom! I love watching Molly on Instagram. She is such a sweet soul! That says a lot about your parenting skills. ❤️ PS: I’m now a grandmom of a beautiful 19 month old granddaughter, Hannah, who is the sunshine of my life!

    1. So many parents have told me this that I have to believe it’s true and have faith that all will be great!

      Congrats on becoming a grammie! Your granddaughter is so close in age with my Molly 🙂

  8. I took the week before my due date off from work but I had a bunch of last minute things I wanted to get done so I didn’t really slow down too much.

    I definitively feel the guilt of having less time with our oldest now that I’m caring for a newborn but I try to have special time with her when hubby is holding the baby.

    1. How old are your kiddos? And I am leaving sooo much to this last month that I feel like it’s going to be hard to slow down. But I am hoping I can!

  9. I am getting ready to return to work In a short three weeks. It makes me so sad, I leave my new precious baby. I worked the day before I had her, I tried to do at least 15 mins of something needed to get done. Make a list!! Lol I’m a list person and then marked them off as I got them done. I also felt accomplished when I saw stuff coming off the list. You will find the time! Just slow down and enjoy the moments. You do work for an amazing company, I would love that. Good luck with it all!

    1. I am so a list person too! But my list is loooong right now! Completely designing and furnishing the house in the 3 months before the baby arrives might have been a poor choice in retrospect. Ha!

      Congrats on your new bundle! I know going back to work is so hard! You can do this mama!

  10. I’m almost 37 weeks and still running around at work non-stop! It’s really hard to remember to take care of myself (and baby) especially when so much is still being asked of me. I need to force myself (and those around me) to realize what’s about to happen a few short weeks from now and take it easy mentally and physically. Thanks for posting on this! Best of luck to you and your adorable family. It’s been fun sharing this pregnancy with you (from afar 😉

    1. It’s funny because even I forgot how hard being SO pregnant is after I had Molly. I would see other pregnant women and think “Ohhh I loved my big belly” when the reality is that my first pregnancy was HARD! Isn’t it so weird how we forget? It’s almost like the only people who really get it when you are going through it is others that are going through it.

  11. Hi Ali!
    I absolutely love reading your blog! I’m in the same boat as you, my daughter is a few months younger than Molly and I’m due with baby #2 (a boy!) just a month or so after you.
    I’m having such a hard time of setting aside a little time for myself, as I too, am still working and trying to spend as much time with my daughter.
    Thank you for sharing some of your tips on how to prepare for baby number 2, I definitely took some mental notes.

  12. Hi Ali

    Ugh the last few weeks is so hard physically!!
    I actually found the first couple months to be great bonding with my older child. The baby sleeps sooo much and being on maternity leave in the summer was so nice. I did so many fun things that ended up being more for the older one because the baby slept through it- we went to the zoo, played on the yard and kiddy pool and the baby slept through most of it. I felt I was able to reconnect with my older child and the baby for right in… I will say it’s much harder to give them equal attention now that the baby is almost 1 and on the move because the older one is now very jealous and they are both just always on the go!

    When I’m feeling stressed I think of the country song “you’re going to miss these days” and it helps me appreciate every moment more 🙂

    1. I love that song!

      And that’s the thing, I know it will only get harder for the first 1.5 years after the baby arrives!!! So that’s what I’m afraid of. It being really hard for a long time. Oh man. We knew what we was doing when we tried for this second baby. But that doesn’t make it less scary now that he’s almost here!

  13. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!! I’m 39 weeks pregnant with my first and still working. Some days I don’t mind eirking as it keeps my mind off everything that is going to happen (obviously a little nervous about the birth) but I do start to feel I should be home and making sure everything is just 100percent perfect and ready to go for once the baby comes. It is such a fine line and hard to find the right balance.

  14. The new baby will obviously take up lots of your time with nursing especially but I was able to have my first born (who was 2 1/2 at the time) sit next to me when I was nursing and we would read together. It was definitely multitasking at its finest! Also, newborns sleep so much in the beginning that I was still able to spend a lot of quality time with my first born especially while he got used to not being the one and only. Lastly, we had my son pick out a gift for his little sister before she was born that he was excited to give her (it was one of those little blankets with the stuffed animal attached) and we had a gift for my son when the baby came that we told him his little sister got for him. He was so excited!

  15. Hi Ali,
    I’m hopeful you’ve taken some time for yourself in these last few weeks before baby arrives.
    I had a question about all of the hip pain you were experiencing a few months back. I felt for ya! My son is 14 months and we’re thinking about trying again for another but I’ve been living with a lot of back pain since he was born. I’m wondering if you got some relief from the pain before getting pregnant again or if it subsided for you. I hope you did anyway. We know that pregnancy can be uncomfortable and painful even at the best of times. Any thoughts and/or recommendations would be helpful. Thanks and take care!

  16. Ali,
    I was wondering how you pick non maternity clothes online? what are you looking at in order to determine that it would look cute with your bump? flowy? empire waist? etc. I am newly pregnant and just curious how you do your maternity shopping. You always have such beautiful clothes.

  17. I feel for you with your little Miss Molly getting up so early. Maybe she’s transitioning to a later bedtime. My kiddos eventually worked up to a bedtime of around 8:30 pm. Always good sleepers at night and during the day but there are always hiccups along the way. Just be sure she know you’re the boss and not her. It’s ok to tell our kids no. Or in this situation. Lay her back down. Say shhhhh and don’t interact. Close door and say night night. Little ones can manipulate even at the earliest of ages. The more manipulating the smarter. 🤓 Good luck. Mama needs her rest with that big ole boy getting ready to come soon!

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