I want to apologize in advance for this blog being a bit confusing. I feel like I wrote this almost like I was writing in a journal. So hopefully you guys can actually follow my thought process. Because I have A LOT of thoughts about last night’s episode. So let’s discuss everything!
How weird is the show? I mean really. In any normal relationship, you don’t ever face pressure to feel ready to get engaged to someone after such a short amount of time. Well, I guess unless someone asks you to marry them in a short amount of time and you aren’t ready. But all of the stress on Kendall for not feeling ready is because her and Arie just aren’t ready. And she shouldn’t be forced into feeling ready. I mean, I guess no one is forcing her, but the format of the show is forcing her to address it when in real life no one would have to do that yet. I’ve said this a bunch in past blog posts about the show, but in reality, no one is ready to get engaged at the end of the show. And that’s the truth. Do I think it’s possible to be ready to marry someone after 8 to 9 weeks of dating? I do. But not after 8 to 9 weeks of dating multiple people. I think you need time as a couple to get to know each other, without other people involved, before you know whether or not your ready to get engaged. That’s why all of the couples on the show have super long engagements. They’re actually just dating after the show to see if it’ll work or not. And once they are ready, ABC plans their wedding in a matter of weeks! So the engagement at the end of the show is almost fake in a way. It means nothing. What really matters is what happens after the show and whether or not the couple decides to stay together and really commit to each other. In my opinion, there’s no lifetime commitment between these couples until they actually tie the knot.
Lauren B date
I feel like Arie and Lauren are also forcing something that’s not necessarily there. She says she’s struggling with opening up and really connecting with Arie because she has walls up. I definitely think she has some walls up, but I also think she’s forcing a relationship to form that’s not forming on its own. So I’ll say it again, the show is so bizarre when you really think about it. Bizarre, but I absolutely love it! Ha! In the same breath I guess I don’t think every season turns out this way. Other people form much more real relationships than the ones they have seen from this season. But even the ones that seemed super real to us as viewers in past season are still a bit weird since the people getting engaged don’t really know each other. Ok, I’m talking in circles. Hopefully I’m making some sense. It’s late while I write this and I’ve had a long day so cut me some slack. Ha!
I will say, I was pretty shocked when Arie told Lauren he loved her. Not because I don’t think he thinks he feels that way. But because they’ve barely said two words to each other. It’s almost like Arie thinks he’s in love with her because in a way she’s playing hard to get. I don’t know if “playing hard to get” is the right way to put it, but you guys know what I mean. She’s more unattainable for him so he’s almost convincing himself he’s more into her because she doesn’t seem as into him. Does that make sense?
I don’t know if you guys got the same sense, but I feel like based on what Lauren said after they woke up the next morning from the fantasy suite, it seems like they talked about a lot of things off-camera that Arie wouldn’t say on-camera. I bet you, without the cameras, he told her that he’s picking her in the end. Whether or not he does is yet to be seen. And I kept thinking when I was watching last night that there’s no way she’d be cool with him going off on a date with Becca after he told her he loved her a bunch of times. Then I thought maybe the dates were filmed out of order and maybe he already had his date with Becca, and Lauren was the last day. And then even if that wasn’t the case, I’m guessing off-camera he told her something like “I just have to get through this last date because I’m under contract of the Bachelor but as soon as it’s over it’s going to be me and you so don’t worry about anything.”
I guess in the end what really got me going is how many times he told her he loves her. He said it soooo many times and in really intimate ways. If he doesn’t pick her in the end, how messed up will that be? I’m hoping he does pick her so I don’t have to be mad at him (ugh…but he said it to Becca multiple times too, so I will be bummed with him no matter what!). If I was Lauren right now, I would be 100% convinced that I was going to be the last one standing.
We are all aware that Arie told Becca he loves her too. Which brings me to my next question. Do we think it’s possible to love two people at once?
I keep going back-and-forth on this. In one breath I want to say no it’s absolutely not possible. If you truly love someone part of loving them is not to be in love with anybody else, and only loving them! But then again, maybe it is possible to care that deeply for two people at the same time. But the truth is, I honestly just don’t know because I’ve never been in that position. Since I’ve never been in that position, it makes me want to say it’s not possible. But just because you or I haven’t experienced something, doesn’t mean that it’s not possible. But this is what I’m sure of, even if you technically can love two people at once, you definitely have to love one more than the other. So knowing that, why would you tell both people that you love them knowing you love one more? I don’t know, I feel like I’m talking in circles throughout this whole blog but that’s because I just can’t really understand anything that’s going on in Arie’s brain.
And this is another thing I’m sure of, when he told Lauren he loved her and when he told Becca he loved her, both of them believed they were the only person he was saying that too. That I can be pretty sure of. And that really sucks.
I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for Becca when she saw her ex. I can only imagine that a huge part of her wanted to believe everything he was telling her since that relationship has so much history. However, it’s so crazy because when Ross was talking to Arie, he seemed so confident about his feelings for Becca. But when he talked to her about it, he almost couldn’t get the words out. I think he said something like “I was going to come here to propose to you” or something like that. Instead of saying right off the bat like, “I’m here because I want to marry you! Will you be my wife?” I’m really glad she didn’t fall for what he had to say. It seems like that was a very toxic relationship based on what she has shared about it, and going back to him is definitely a bad idea. It will be interesting to see in the next few weeks is if Becca ends up going back to her ex if she doesn’t end up at Arie.
I think it was pretty obvious to all of us even before the episode that Kendall was going home last night. Then as we watched the show and saw Arie tell Lauren and Becca that he loves them, it became even more obvious. And deep down I think it’s probably what she really wanted. Even though her and Arie got closer during the fantasy suite, I’m sure she still wasn’t in a place where she felt like she could get engaged. But I will say that I totally appreciate and respect Arie not making her go through the rose ceremony and just pulling her aside from the very get-go and saying goodbye. That was a classy move!
Anyway, I feel like today’s blog post was a bit like word vomit. I just couldn’t keep a straight thought. I blame Arie for being so confusing! Ha! Kidding. What did you guys think of last night’s episode? Do you think it’s possible to love 2 people at once? Is Arie going too far by telling each woman he loves her?
I want to end by saying I know that Arie isn’t perfect and I know I pick apart what is is doing on the show (really we all do), but really is anyone perfect? No. I think he is doing the best that he can and I do think that we should cut him some slack. Being the Bachelor isn’t easy and none of us know exactly what he is going through. Aren’t we all perfectly imperfect in a way? See how I tied in my t-shirt there? Ha! No but really, this Modcloth tee is so cute that I wanted to share it with you guys! I’m wearing a medium FYI.