The Bachelor – Fantasy Suites and I Love Yous

I want to apologize in advance for this blog being a bit confusing. I feel like I wrote this almost like I was writing in a journal. So hopefully you guys can actually follow my thought process. Because I have A LOT of thoughts about last night’s episode. So let’s discuss everything!

Kendall Date

How weird is the show? I mean really. In any normal relationship, you don’t ever face pressure to feel ready to get engaged to someone after such a short amount of time. Well, I guess unless someone asks you to marry them in a short amount of time and you aren’t ready. But all of the stress on Kendall for not feeling ready is because her and Arie just aren’t ready. And she shouldn’t be forced into feeling ready. I mean, I guess no one is forcing her, but the format of the show is forcing her to address it when in real life no one would have to do that yet. I’ve said this a bunch in past blog posts about the show, but in reality, no one is ready to get engaged at the end of the show. And that’s the truth. Do I think it’s possible to be ready to marry someone after 8 to 9 weeks of dating? I do. But not after 8 to 9 weeks of dating multiple people. I think you need time as a couple to get to know each other, without other people involved, before you know whether or not your ready to get engaged. That’s why all of the couples on the show have super long engagements. They’re actually just dating after the show to see if it’ll work or not. And once they are ready, ABC plans their wedding in a matter of weeks! So the engagement at the end of the show is almost fake in a way. It means nothing. What really matters is what happens after the show and whether or not the couple decides to stay together and really commit to each other. In my opinion, there’s no lifetime commitment between these couples until they actually tie the knot.

Lauren B date

I feel like Arie and Lauren are also forcing something that’s not necessarily there. She says she’s struggling with opening up and really connecting with Arie because she has walls up. I definitely think she has some walls up, but I also think she’s forcing a relationship to form that’s not forming on its own. So I’ll say it again, the show is so bizarre when you really think about it. Bizarre, but I absolutely love it! Ha! In the same breath I guess I don’t think every season turns out this way. Other people form much more real relationships than the ones they have seen from this season. But even the ones that seemed super real to us as viewers in past season are still a bit weird since the people getting engaged don’t really know each other. Ok, I’m talking in circles. Hopefully I’m making some sense. It’s late while I write this and I’ve had a long day so cut me some slack. Ha!

I will say, I was pretty shocked when Arie told Lauren he loved her. Not because I don’t think he thinks he feels that way. But because they’ve barely said two words to each other. It’s almost like Arie thinks he’s in love with her because in a way she’s playing hard to get. I don’t know if “playing hard to get” is the right way to put it, but you guys know what I mean. She’s more unattainable for him so he’s almost convincing himself he’s more into her because she doesn’t seem as into him. Does that make sense?

I don’t know if you guys got the same sense, but I feel like based on what Lauren said after they woke up the next morning from the fantasy suite, it seems like they talked about a lot of things off-camera that Arie wouldn’t say on-camera. I bet you, without the cameras, he told her that he’s picking her in the end. Whether or not he does is yet to be seen. And I kept thinking when I was watching last night that there’s no way she’d be cool with him going off on a date with Becca after he told her he loved her a bunch of times. Then I thought maybe the dates were filmed out of order and maybe he already had his date with Becca, and Lauren was the last day. And then even if that wasn’t the case, I’m guessing off-camera he told her something like “I just have to get through this last date because I’m under contract of the Bachelor but as soon as it’s over it’s going to be me and you so don’t worry about anything.”

I guess in the end what really got me going is how many times he told her he loves her. He said it soooo many times and in really intimate ways. If he doesn’t pick her in the end, how messed up will that be? I’m hoping he does pick her so I don’t have to be mad at him (ugh…but he said it to Becca multiple times too, so I will be bummed with him no matter what!). If I was Lauren right now, I would be 100% convinced that I was going to be the last one standing.

Becca’s Date

We are all aware that Arie told Becca he loves her too. Which brings me to my next question. Do we think it’s possible to love two people at once?

I keep going back-and-forth on this. In one breath I want to say no it’s absolutely not possible. If you truly love someone part of loving them is not to be in love with anybody else, and only loving them! But then again, maybe it is possible to care that deeply for two people at the same time. But the truth is, I honestly just don’t know because I’ve never been in that position. Since I’ve never been in that position, it makes me want to say it’s not possible. But just because you or I haven’t experienced something, doesn’t mean that it’s not possible. But this is what I’m sure of, even if you technically can love two people at once, you definitely have to love one more than the other. So knowing that, why would you tell both people that you love them knowing you love one more? I don’t know, I feel like I’m talking in circles throughout this whole blog but that’s because I just can’t really understand anything that’s going on in Arie’s brain.

And this is another thing I’m sure of, when he told Lauren he loved her and when he told Becca he loved her, both of them believed they were the only person he was saying that too. That I can be pretty sure of. And that really sucks.

Ross Arrives

I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for Becca when she saw her ex. I can only imagine that a huge part of her wanted to believe everything he was telling her since that relationship has so much history. However, it’s so crazy because when Ross was talking to Arie, he seemed so confident about his feelings for Becca. But when he talked to her about it, he almost couldn’t get the words out. I think he said something like “I was going to come here to propose to you” or something like that. Instead of saying right off the bat like, “I’m here because I want to marry you! Will you be my wife?” I’m really glad she didn’t fall for what he had to say. It seems like that was a very toxic relationship based on what she has shared about it, and going back to him is definitely a bad idea. It will be interesting to see in the next few weeks is if Becca ends up going back to her ex if she doesn’t end up at Arie.

Rose Ceremony

I think it was pretty obvious to all of us even before the episode that Kendall was going home last night. Then as we watched the show and saw Arie tell Lauren and Becca that he loves them, it became even more obvious. And deep down I think it’s probably what she really wanted. Even though her and Arie got closer during the fantasy suite, I’m sure she still wasn’t in a place where she felt like she could get engaged. But I will say that I totally appreciate and respect Arie not making her go through the rose ceremony and just pulling her aside from the very get-go and saying goodbye. That was a classy move!

Anyway, I feel like today’s blog post was a bit like word vomit. I just couldn’t keep a straight thought. I blame Arie for being so confusing! Ha! Kidding. What did you guys think of last night’s episode? Do you think it’s possible to love 2 people at once? Is Arie going too far by telling each woman he loves her?

I want to end by saying I know that Arie isn’t perfect and I know I pick apart what is is doing on the show (really we all do), but really is anyone perfect? No. I think he is doing the best that he can and I do think that we should cut him some slack. Being the Bachelor isn’t easy and none of us know exactly what he is going through. Aren’t we all perfectly imperfect in a way? See how I tied in my t-shirt there? Ha! No but really, this Modcloth tee is so cute that I wanted to share it with you guys! I’m wearing a medium FYI.

  1. PERFECTLY IMPERFECT TEE | 2. HEADBOARD | 3. WHITE COMFORTER | 4. TABLE LAMP

 

 

Thoughts

192 thoughts on “The Bachelor – Fantasy Suites and I Love Yous

    1. I think he does feel THE START of love and I agree. It’s too fast. This show puts pressure on a proposal and it’s just not there. Which is why we have scenarios like this. And Jason & Melissa / Molly.

      1. I feel like whoever he picked, this will all go to hell in a hand basket after watching it back!! I feel like that’s what is the undoing of the Bachelor relationships is watching it back. Bachelorette’s seem to be more careful with their choices and actions. Not putting men against women, but it seems like a theme especially in the last few years.

        1. Hopefully they will do like Chris and Desiree did (or was it Sean & Catherine) and won’t watch anything but their own dates because they just didn’t want to know. That seems like a good idea.

    2. Ali….I thought you couldnt tell anyone you loved them from previous shows??
      Andddd didnt you hear Arie say to the cameras he wished he could stop right here (meaning after him and Becca together) ??

  1. Hi, Ali,

    I’m from Brazil and I’m a huge fan of you.
    Love your bachelor’s blog! And agreed with everything,
    Arie is the most confusing bachelor ever!

    1. He does love both. He needs to NOT propose. See it out and date outside and then commit. This is going to be a sad ending for both girls.

  2. I couldn’t deal with all of the ‘I love you’s’ – one of these girls is going to be totally blindsided. Haven’t been a huge fan of Arie, tbh. Great journal type recap!

    1. I do like him. I just think he isn’t handling the role of Bachelor super well (But can we blame him. It’s a WEIRD position to be i). But I have no problem with him as a person.

      1. Maybe Arie is less camera shy than other bachelor’s who probably said in the Fantasy Suite, off camera.

        There must be alot of I Love You in the Fantasy Suite, right?

  3. I read that they showed the dates in the order they happened, so Lauren did “allow” him to go on his date with Becca. I think listening to him last night, it really sounded like Becca is a front runner by him saying he could propose in the sand dunes and could end the show that day of her overnight. BUT like a lot have people said, Lauren has something that he can’t grasp and that’s what is holding him there. She obviously feels very strongly about him with what she says in her ITM so it’s not like it’s a one sided street, this is where editing has came into play and we’ve missed out on more than what’s been shown. I kept thinking their overnight talks had a lot to do about their future together, not necessarily reassurance about him for sure picking her in the end. I keep going back to Ben Higgins and him telling both Lauren and JoJo he loved them-same concept as this. Ben received less flack than Arie is because his season seemed like there were always the 2 front runners, as with Arie it’s been more confusing. Plus Ben just seems like a stand up guy. I think Arie deserves some slack though, it’s not a normal setting and he may truly believe he LOVES both of these women. Next week’s episode I think truly shows how confused he really is when he was talking to his parents. I’m really interested what they will think.

    1. I agree he is not the first one to say I love you to 2 girls. And I feel the same ARie is getting more negativity then Ben did. Maybe he really is in love with 2 people. I have been there my self years ago but I had also been in a relationship with both guys one for 4 years and one for 3 years. So I kept going back and forth til I realized it was so toxic for me. So I ended both of them. And found my soul mate 18 years ago.

      1. Interesting story.

        I wonder how you view those two relationships now…what insight have you gained in the years since. What would you tell someone in that situation?

    2. I agree with most of your post. I’m I the only person (maybe it’s the Marriage & Family Therapist in me; I watch for both content and process) who observed that Arie told Lauren he loves her first, whereas he told Becca he loved her in response to her telling him she loves him? Maybe it’s editing also. I just feel like Arie has a way that he cares for Lauren, that he doesn’t have with Becca. I DO think he is struggling between his emotions and logic. Logically, Becca might be safe(maturity, experience), but his heart appears to be with Lauren, and that’s very important. Love may become wavy, but Like is constant in lasting relationships. In other words, on days that you don’t feel in love with your partner, it is your likeness for them that sustains the relationship until the love returns.

      1. I noticed he told Lauren first. I don’t think anyone else ever has done that. They’ve said it in response, but not first. It seemed a little insincere to me in the moment too — like he was just telling her the one thing that he thought could assuage her fears because all she would talk about was being scared of losing him. So he didn’t say it because he was feeling it, but because it would make her relax. (I mean, obviously I don’t know how he really feels, but that was my interpretation)

      2. I totally agree. There seems to be something about Lauren that he is so captured. Meanwhile, Becca seems to make more logical sense.

      3. I 110% agree! You nailed it! He has gone out of his way to reassure Lauren that he is into her! And then initiating his “I love you” to her first. In my opinion the show was over after the episode where Lauren opened to him at dinner and he excused himself in order to collect himself. He is in love with her! She is the one!

        Becca makes sense to him from a logical perspective. She’s an incredible person who wouldn’t marry her?! But, she doesn’t have that unexplainable “it” factor for him. He has that with Lauren and that is what makes the difference.

        He will choose Lauren and if he doesn’t he will regret it the rest of his life.

        1. But that’s only based on his insecurity and immaturity because Lauren is emotionally “unavailable.” What happens when he grows up? Or another thought, is he really gay? He comes off effeminate, but he may not have come to terms with it yet. Immature and insecure Lauren is the perfect excuse for avoiding that realization.

    3. I almost feel he proposes to Becca because her ex came and he felt territorial and he is mixing in that new emotion with the one he already has for her. Jealousy is a strong emotion. But if the spoilers are correct…. I think a little more time with both of them would not have allowed what goes down to go down.
      I do not see it with Lauren, I think he is leading with her looks and that she is unattainable right now. Ah but the spoilers….. so sad!

    4. I believe I did call Ben out for doing it during his season too. I never think it’s ok to tell 2 women you love them. But I do think Arie took it to another level by saying it SO many times.

      1. Agreed. I actually yelled at my TV last night “stop saying it!” because he was saying it so naturally knowing he’d probably say it to the next girl.

      2. I agree, I thought he said it so much, but every time he said it it felt so fake. It almost felt rehearsed to me, like there was no emotion what so ever behind it towards both of them.

      3. In Ben’s season he told the girls that he was in love with both of them. I think that makes a difference. Arie is making these girls believe they are the only one he is in love with.

        1. But…why aren’t the women asking if they are the only ones…Lauren And Jojo both wondered abt Ben…
          Or
          Maybe Becca and Lauren are questioning it and it’s but making the final edit.

  4. i was so uncomfortable watching all the “i love yous.” regardless of the outcome, i cant even imagine how lauren and becca feel watching that, especially the part when he says he just wanted to propose to becca and be done with it. that was AFTER the date with lauren. ugh. this season has been a struggle. i cant agree with a lot of what arie has done, but i also feel like its an impossible situation for anyone. i know the spoiler (i tried to avoid but caved) and i just dont understand…im also scared to watch the finale!

      1. Even if the spoilers aren’t true, you can still feel badly for one of the girls. Someone will always go home broken-hearted. This just may be worse than usual because of the way he has handled it.

        Question: It seems there is no After the Final Rose. Do you think that is because of the supposed “spoiler?”

    1. As if the Lauren date never happened! And like he didn’t just tell her he loves her a few hours ago! At least with Ben he was acknowledging that he is in love with two people and that’s a problem. Arie is just moving along casually as if this is what people normally do and has no push and pull in his heart. He enjoyed his fantasy suites without any hesitation and loving his bachelor ride.

  5. I just can’t with Arie. I’m sorry but I got the feeling Arie was telling these girls I Love You to get in their pants. He even told Kendall “I’m falling in love with you.” I mean….come on! And for him to act so angry that the ex showed up? He was saying I love you to Lauren like there was no one else on the planet and now he’s mad that Becca may no longer be an option? Sorry, but he can’t have 2 girls in the end. Both these girls are gorgeous, but I just don’t see the undeniable eternal love with either of them. I think they know it too, but they have come this far for this guy that they have to see it to the end at least.
    Kendall dodged a huge bullet!

    1. I agree totally. Between the kissing and I love you’s, it almost feels to me that none of it is real because he does and says it so much. I am just ready for this season to be over. I know it probably is not an easy thing to do, but maybe Arie isn’t cut out for this type of show afterall. I just don’t know anymore. Really not enjoying this one and I just hope that if hearts are broken, they can heal and all can just move on.

  6. I just couldn’t believe how many times Arie said I love you, to each girl! When Ben H. said it, I believe we only saw him say it 1 time each? Arie kept saying it over and over!!

    I totally agree, I was thinking he told Lauren she is the one at the end. But did you see the clip for next week when Becca says something like, “but I don’t know his love for Lauren” so if he picks Becca (which that’s who I hope) but I think Becca would be able to handle the telling I love you to Lauren as well, better than Lauren could handle it in the end, I don’t think she would be able to get past it like Becca can. just a thought!

    1. I agree with you regarding how Lauren and Becca will handle Arie not choosing her. Lauren will be absolutely devastated and Becca will be crushed but will be able to accept it and move on. Lauren’s broken engagement, which I gather was not her decision, left her so fragile and unable to completely trust Arie. I can’t imagine how she will deal with life if she is not his choice in the end after all of the I love you proclaimations he made to her on last night’s episode, and her telling us all she now felt secure with him. Ugh! Becca is such a strong, positive, happy person. I adore her and hope if she is not Arie’s choice in the end that she will not go back to Ross. Everything she said to him and how she behaved around him led me to believe she had long since realized and accepted she should not be with him. Her comments, over and over, led me to believe that she is sooooo much more mature and stable than Ross. I think she could be happy with Arie for awhile, but I think she needs a more worldly, adventurous, broad minded, curious man.

      1. I suspect anyone who goes on the Bach or Bach-ette is adventerous, adrenaline loving, a bit exhibitionist, and either insecure or a bit too confident.
        Not sure stable is *enough* to overcome the need for drama.
        Ross plays into that romantic idealism same way dating Arie does.

  7. Ali your bio is right on don’t think Arie should of said I love you to the remaining Lauren and Becca. Because when the couple watches it back they may have a lot to talk. In the end I hope it works out for all of them. Your journal is amazing.

  8. Arie just needs to convert to Mormonism so he can have multiple loves/wives. Seriously though I feel so sorry for whomever he ends up choosing – he loves everybody and makes out with everybody too – how is a woman supposed to feel like she’s “special” and that she was always “the one”. From what I understand that is exactly why Lauren couldn’t stay with Ben. I have long adored watching The Bachelor franchise, but this season is just too much. I have fast forwarded a lot because I can hardly stand to watch all the make out sessions! So gross! I mean how can Arie even do that all the time and not have any release? Or maybe he does? I dunno. Sorry for the ramble. I just can’t take this anymore. Thanks for you blog, Ali! It does help calm me down!

    1. I agree with most of your comment, aside from the first sentence. I am
      Mormon and we don’t have more than one wife. I encourage you to visit lds.org or mormon.org for accuature information regarding a faith that helps to make my marriage stronger. ❤️

    2. He made me feel uncomfortable talking to Becca when he said “I was afraid someone might not choose me back”
      I think he’s saying I love you to make 100% sure these girls are IN. He’s so afraid of this not working. Desperate almost.

      1. I find myself thinking Needy as he seeks approval . It’s not a crime, we are all human, but it does create doubts to his maturity.

  9. I feel bad for Lauren and Becca in the end. To have someone tell you I love you and then a few days later break up with you has got to be horrible!!

    However, can I just say, what was up with what he was wearing when he left Lauren the morning after? Did anyone else notice the gym shorts, tall socks and tennis shoes? I chuckled. 🙂

      1. The rolled collar sweaters, plaid, corduroy, etc. He really does dress like an old man. Waiting for him to pull out a corn cob pipe!

  10. Is this a sign we are getting older? This season has made
    me so turned off by the entire premise. I could have sworn he told Kendall he loved her too! (and that little edit of the next morning that alludes they were physically intimate!)

    I don’t know if it goes back to the age gaps like it has all season to me but it seems so sleazy and creepy older man telling multiple people he loves them!

    Also super wondering about next week if it’s ‘live and two nights’ because of the leaked spoilers and maybe they are NOT going to include what we’ve read to make it not look so bad?

    This season man, woof!

  11. I am dumb and looked up the spoilers. This episode was rough to watch because of that. I really try to give Arie the benefit of doubt but he is difficult to watch. He just comes off as a player. I truly wonder if he actually wants marriage. I have a feeling it’s not going to work out with which ever woman he chooses. Especially when they watch the season back.
    PS this makes me sound shallow, but can we at least agree that Bekah’s ex Ross was Extremely Handsome?! He certainly rocked that suit.

    1. I was thinking Becca’s ex Ross could be the next Bachelor. He definitely was a cutie. Read in earlier posts that their relationship was toxic according to Becca. There are two sides to every relationship. I felt he was very genuine and Ari was an ass for no reason. At least this guy Ross was in love with one girl not multiple girls. I wouldn’t be surprised if Becca and Ross unites after the show if not, Ross for the next Bachelor.

      1. But I’m sorry….SEVEN YEARS and THEN he decides he should marry her, after a year apart? He had 7 yrs to ask her, move on Ross.

  12. Hi Ali! I love reading your bachelor blogs. This is actually the first time I comment but HAD to. I know Ari is not perfect and I can just imagine how difficult it must be to be in that situation but I can’t help but feeling disgusted and frustrated and cringing every minute last night watching him act the exact same way with all the girls. And poor girls, they think they are the ONLY one he’s saying I love you to. My heart was breaking for Becca because she seemed absolutely smitten and convinced that he’s the only one that loves her. I was in a relationship where my ex was supposedly in love with me but he was also in love with my close friend. So maybe it is possible to love two people, maybe. But you’re gonna love someone a little bit more and I felt extremely hurt when he told me he had feelings for the both us. Maybe that’s why I feel a little disgusted with Ari right now. I’ve been watching the Bachelor since your season and I’ve never had such negative feelings till Arie’s season. I just can’t with him! YUCK!

    1. I’m sad when I read your ex was involved with your friend.
      At least the women on Bach Know others are involved – there’s no way someone in your position would have expected that.

  13. I think Arie is a good guy, I really do, but something is just bothering me about this season.
    I genuinely do not understand the Lauren relationship. She doesn’t really talk, she’s scared of being on the show and I don’t even really see a real connection. I don’t get it at all. She’s a beautiful girl and my only explanation is that maybe he is just into the Emily Maynard type??? Because they do look similar. But I’m just kind of done with that relationship.
    I like him and Becca but i just don’t think they are meant to be together. I just don’t see those two together in the long run.
    Knowing the spoiler, I’m kinda antsy to see how this works out… i just don’t know! I’m ready for the bachelorette I think. 🙂

    1. We don’t get to see all the conversations Ari has with the girls, We see a few minutes. I know they get many hours that we don’t see. Producers are making Lauren more shy than she is.

  14. If he picks Lauren, she will break up with him for sure. She will not be able to handle him sharing I love you’s with so many other women. It’s Ben Higgins all over again. Arie seems very sensitive and caught up in the moment when he is with each woman. Based on how he went about communicating his feelings though, I doubt he has found a long term relationship here. It will be a lot for his new fiancé, Lauren or Becca, to look past. I can’t wait for ATFR.

    1. I agree that this Ben all over again but I also feel like Ben had more self-awareness and was really upset with the situation. But maybe it’s just editing.

  15. Enjoy your blog, Ali!

    I do believe it’s possible to love two people (or more) at the same time. To be honest, I would not be a Psychologist if I did not have this capacity. These are all different human beings and different relationships. My patients have also shared that they have been in this position- so this is part of the human condition. That said, with romantic love, the love “levels” may feel different.

    I’m still a girl, so I can empathize with either Becca or Lauren being told something they might feel is only for them (e.g. the words “I love you”). But, then again, this is still the Bachelor. These things happen.

    Relatedly, I think Arie should be cut some slack about passionately kissing women. It is his choice to be on the show. And it is their choice to be on the show, as well. Perhaps the way he kisses has much more to do with his expression of emotion and search for passion than hurting anyone? I think we- majority women- are being a bit too judgmental on this one. Case in point- if he appeared to be a horrible kisser and kissed without emotion, would we be more satisfied? Would we judge him for that too?

    1. I LIKE ARIE AND I HOPE HE FINDS WHAT HE IS LOOKING FOR. I HOPE HE PICKS THE PERSON HE CAN SEE HIS LIFE WITH AND THE LIVE HAPPY EVER AFTER.

    2. I’m putting this as a reply instead of my own comment because Elle said what I was going to say! I’m not a psychologist, but I enjoy psychology / sociology.

      I’ve been married (happily!) for 28 year, so my dating was primarily in high school. But, I can see falling for more than one person at a time. I hope that whatever happens (I’ve seen the spoilers) both women can appreciate that the situation intensifies feelings.

      I would also agree with Elle to cut Arie slack about the kissing! Kissing is enjoyable, a natural response to attraction, and a way to test (and show) your feelings and their feelings. Kissing is actually one way we gather information on an instinctual level about potential mates! They are all adults. I assume at this point they all have seen the show. So if they develop feelings and make it to the proposal, they should be understanding.

      And Ali, I love your blog! I can’t always watch live, but as soon as I get a chance, I come back and read your take on it!

  16. I’m just wondering who would be a better bachelorette and then I would know who he picks? Becca would be best for that. I think he picks Lauren because Lauren is guarded and dating 25 men would be hard on her compared to Becca. Kendall is not the type to speed date. I really liked Kendall the most for Ari.

  17. Completely agree that it was wrong for him to express his love to 2 women! Someone is going to get hurt when they see last night’s episode. I did think it was interesting though that the dinner/fantasy suite with Becca was in the desert-seemed to be the best location of the three! Also, if he was going to pick Lauren-why would he be so upset about her ex coming back? This leads me down the same path as you Allie-in that maybe he thinks he is in love with both? I am from MN, so am rooting for Becca, but in a way I feel that both these ladies deserve better than Arie. Maybe this is unfair, but I have lost a lot of respect for him based on his actions this season! Thanks for great blog post as always :)!

  18. Ok. I really try to put myself in the Bachelors shoes for this. As I’m sure everyone does. But goodness I don’t think I could tell both people that I love them & want them in the end when I know I’d have to choose!!!

    I think he will pick Becca because he even said she’s the “safe” relationship. I said this before and I’ll say it again- I REALLY think Arie relates Lauren B to Emily Maynard and that’s why he likes her so much and is so drawn to her. I could be wrong, but they’re both quiet and self spoken, beautiful blondes! Just h two cents.

  19. Hi Ali,

    This episode was so cringeworthy with how many times he said “I love you.” Personally, I feel bad for Lauren B with how people are talking about her. I can be very social but in certain situations I can be very reserved. Worried about being judged or looked at for saying the wrong thing. I think Lauren is very aware of the cameras and the producers are taking advantage of that. I think she is being edited to look “boring.” She said something after the rose ceremony about how she can’t wait to meet Arie’s family and that she has heard so much about them. I laughed out loud, when did you hear about them? I think they are editing out a lot when it comes to Lauren. I feel like the same thing happened with Lauren B on Ben’s season. Also, Bekah M had said in an interview after the women tell all that she herself was actually very catty and talked about the other women a lot. She said she was happy she got a good edit. I feel like we are missing so much this season.

    Now as for Arie’s I love you to Lauren. It’s almost like she is flipping the roles on him, making him work and prove to her that he is serious about her. I totally get why she is doing it and she is getting the confirmation she needs. Did you notice how after he said it she looked the opposite way of the camera. She seems invested and emotionally but she doesn’t want the world to see. Of course that’s hard because she is on a television show. I think she is very smart with how she is presenting herself and how she isnt giving the producers extra drama to use. Unlike a Krystal, who gave producers so much to use.

    Just my two cents and wanted to show Lauren a little support. I feel like the Bachelor is a sorority house. You have the popular contestants and the quieter ones. I can’t believe how mean grown people can be but everybody wants to say love over hate. It seems hypocritical. I would never want my girls on a show like this. Sorry for the rant, as a girl mom it’s hard to read grown women and men rip these people apart.

    1. Just wanted to say I am in total agreement. All the tweets I read about how boring Lauren is makes me sad and I hope she doesn’t read them. It’s OK to be quiet…there is a lot edited out like you said. But saying all that…if he does pick her I hope she dumps him after she watches last nights episode.

    2. I agree with you about editing. I don’t think the Bachelor folks got it right this time. I think they focused so much on Krystal’s drama and Bekah’s age that they missed the parts we all want to see. Granted, they try to keep the suspense going. But in this case, it’s leaving everyone confused.

  20. Truthfully I don’t think it is the same love for each girl. I have to believe he thinks it is love for them both, but one is more of an infatuation love ::cough, cough Lauren:: he knows they don’t click, but he has said from the beginning he thinks she is the most beautiful girl and goes on and on about her beauty, but never says anything about her communication or really her life. So how much does he really know about her and their “connection”? I believe he really does love Becca, and sees more of a future with her, but is so drawn to Lauren’s beauty that it is clouding his judgement. Who knows what he will do. This is one season that I have no idea how it will end.

    1. Neither Lauren nor Arie seems able to articulate what they like about each other, which is kind of baffling, to be honest. What the heck are we not seeing (aside from pheromones, maybe)?

  21. Morning Ali,

    Last night as I was sitting there watching I just kept saying stop telling them that you love them, just stop it. Ari is trying to do the best he can, but i just can’t with him because he can’t make clear decisions, I am glad he pulled Kendall aside because she knew she wasn’t ready to commit to him long term. As for the final 2 I am rooting for Becca because she seems like the better fit, but we will have to see how it all turns out since it is supposed to be really dramatic I am thinking that he ends up not proposing to either one of them or he ends up alone at the end and then goes back and chooses one of them to date.

  22. I don’t know if you can fall in love with two people at once either, but I sure didn’t like watching him say it to two women. No matter who he ends up with, they would have a hard time believing he’s sincere.

    I think he and Becca fit together the best, but who really knows? There was soooo little dialogue this whole season.

  23. Oh my gosh, you guys are killing me! I feel like I have to look up spoilers! I can’t believe we have to wait a week! I can’t figure out why he’d say so many I love you’s to both women either. Going to bite him in the butt for sure. Both girls are really different, that’s for sure.

  24. I haven’t watched this season until last night because the franchise is becoming mind numbing- or I’m getting older and over it 🤷🏼‍♀️

    It’s CLEAR to me that Lauren is forcing her feelings for him. And why shouldn’t she? She’s only 25!!! He’s 36!!! That’s a BIG age difference. I can totally see Lauren being that giddy little school girl for a guy she actually likes. She has reservations because in 4 years this guy is going to be 40 and she’s still in her 20s. Age is “just a number” but when you’re in your selfish 20s… late 30s is a different world. I’m 30 now and would be weary of dating someone 36. I love being with someone who is also 30 (we met at 27).

    They say your brain doesn’t fully develop until 27… which is why Becca has the ability to actually be in love with Arie. I believe she is. She is serious about moving to wherever he is and making it work. She is mature and committed.

    100% will not work out with Lauren if he chooses her. 100% could work out with Becca but she’s not his style (too transparent, doesn’t play hard to get).. which is why he’s probably still single right now. He needs to grow up and see girls like Lauren and relationships like that (lust filled) for what they are. He needs to not be turned off when someone truly feels the same way (much like Dean syndrome). Until he does- he won’t find a “companion for life”. Sorry, Arie ✌🏼

  25. All I see at this point is someone desperate for something and I am not so sure it’s love. He is acting like a player and there is no way that I believe he is truly in love with both of those women…or either of them for that matter. Anyone else I might give the benefit of the doubt but I do not believe him. Ok, I admit he’s not in an easy situation but still no excuse for handling things the way he has and for acting like a hound dog in heat. It’s totally gross to watch him devouring the face of each woman and professing his love over and over when it all seems so fake. I know who he chooses and who he ends up with and I would say she is definitely NOT the “winner”. The ones that were not chosen dodged a big bullet and should be grateful. I do not believe for a moment the one he picks in the end will last. He may be 36 but still doesn’t know what he wants and I think he used the show for ulterior motives. Just my opinion.

    1. I disagree on the ulterior motives. I think he does want to settle down, find a wife. Bachelor asked HIM on short notice. Once in, you follow the process. His wanting to find a wife might be influencing his ability to determine his true feelings. But might I add, the dates they gave him (group dates especially) were not as good at connecting with the women as past shows have been.

      I don’t completely blame Arie for this season. I blame production just as much.

  26. What you said about Kendall is spot on what I was trying to articulate last night. It’s not crazy to not be ready to get engaged to someone after two months of dating non-exclusively. And I don’t necessarily think Kendall and Arie are right for each other, but something I was thinking about a LOT last night and last season of The Bachelorette with Rachel and Peter (even though they weren’t necessarily right for each other either) is this: You are going to get to marriage a lot faster by picking the right person and waiting a few more months (after you’ve gotten to know each other more in real life and exclusively) than picking the wrong person just because they’re ready and eventually realizing it won’t work and breaking up. It’s so frustrating to me that someone not being able to “get there” just in the Bachelor frame of time is a dealbreaker. Sure, that’s what happens a lot on the show and that’s what people expect — but are you really going to break up with the person who is best for you because they need a few more months’ time?? So frustrating.

    And so upset for Becca last night with her ex. And you were right about the way the ex talked to Arie vs. Becca — very strange. It just made me so sad for her because he seems like he knew it wasn’t going to work, and it wasn’t about just telling her so she knows in case she wants to be with him instead….it was more about playing a mind game and making her confusing and messing with her feelings. I’m not saying that’s true, that was just my interpretation, and it just seemed so manipulative and cruel.

    If Becca ends up single after all is said and done, I hope she ends up as a serious contender for Bachelorette. She seems like such a sweet woman and deserves to be happy.

    (Also a big contender for me — Kendall. How much fun would a season with her be??)

  27. I tend to disagree with some of your thoughts. I think Arie does love both women. When he continuously asks the women to be open and vulnerable, it would be hypocritical of him to hold back and not tell them both how he feels. What you have viewed all season as him leading women on, I view as him compartmentalizing the relationships so he can give his full attention and be in the moment when he is with each woman, which I think is smart and necessary. He saves comparisons for the rose ceremonies when he has to decide who to send home.

  28. Ali you hit the nail on the head! You were so spot on. I always feel sorry for girl not chosen but this is different. Basically if things don’t work out with one he chooses then he will have ruined things with other girl,.., he’s screwed now with all the “I love you’s” can you imagine how the family of the girls feel too? Yikes kinda feel sorry for Arie but he made his bed & will have to deal with consequences. He isn’t a bad guy … just not handling things well. Maybe that’s why he’s still single in his late 30’s ??

  29. I believe it is possible to feel like you are in love with 2 people at once, especially in this scenario where there are opportunities to spend time with different women but with limited time. I feel like Arie has taken a lot of time to get to know each and every woman individually. He gives them his full attention and listens carefully to what they say. I think he is very serious about finding his one true love and that the strong feelings he has for Lauren and Becca have really confused him and that he did not expect to be faced with such a difficult choice between 2 amazing women. It’s clear he can see himself with each one and can envision their future together. his dilemma seems to be that he is freaked out about making the wrong choice which he has mentioned a few times. Because Becca has been more outgoing, it’s easier to imagine that life. However , he has an undeniable connection with Lauren which has nothing to do with Emily. I do not think they are alike in looks or personality. They are both blonde which is where the similarity ends. It makes me sad to hear so many people trash his relationship with Lauren. I think she is a very classy and intelligent woman whose reserved personality makes her even more endearing. She may not appeal to the fans because she is so shy, but she mentions an unspoken connection with Arie that I think is an undeniable strong bond between 2 people. I think Arie is being true to himself and that he is a very passionate man which he expresses through his need to connect by kissing. In any case, what any of us think has no bearing on the choice he needs to make for his life and future with either of these women. Our opinions don’t matter since this is the life they choose and I really don’t think he does any of it on purpose. I do not believe it was ever his intention to hurt anyone but just to make the right choice for himself and future wife.
    On a side note, I was not a fan of Bekah, she seemed like an immature 22 year old at best and she displayed that on that last episode dressed like a 12 year old and sobbing like a child

    1. I agree with everything you say except that I did enjoy Bekah this season. I think she is smart, funny, intuitive and adventurous, but has much growing up to do and would never have been happy, long term with Arie, nor he with her.

    2. Thank you- drives me crazy when people compare her to Emily! Other than the blonde hair, nothing a like. And it’s okay if someone has a “type”- maybe he leans toward blondes, for example- but I highly doubt he’ll choose his wife based on hair color.

  30. I think Arie told Lauren B he loved her first to see where she actually was. He wants it to work so bad, and I don’t know if she would’ve told him on that date if he didn’t say it first.

    1. He didn’t say it first. She told him at dinner on their Tuscany dinner date. He was so caught off guard he had to leave the table and compose himself.

  31. Hallo. I am from Estonia and I liked Arie allready at Emily ‘s season. I hope he gets a happy ending. I like Becca and I hope he picks her. Fun of bachelor and I Been watching bachelor and bachelorette for years. I like your blog Ali! Also your season of the bachelorette. But happy for your marriage and family.

  32. To me, it seems like he loves Becca more than Lauren. He even stated that he felt like he should propose to her right then and there. I do think Becca is the best choice for him. They seem to be more connected than him and Lauren. That’s just my opinion. We will see next week.

  33. I know it’s possible to love two people, but he knows he can only pick one in the end and should have waited to tell the one that. It just hurts both even the one he does pick because she has to be with him knowing he also loved the other woman. I also feel like emotions are more forced on this season. I think they all want it to work so badly. I actually thought it was super romantic that her ex traveled so far to get her back. I do agree that he seemed so certain talking with Arie, but couldn’t get his words out when talking with her.

    1. I think the reality hit Ross.
      She wasn’t vibing him the way he had hoped…and he just had to get through it, cameras loaded.

      I can’t get over how wonderfully outfitted he was…and there was Arie, in his chilax-wear, letting dude go propose to Becca – e h. That really felt too uninvested to me.

      That bouquet of flowers. Left on the concrete steps. A Bacheler Moment, forevs.

  34. I think Arie just LOVES WOMEN in general! I think he loves being in LOVE (or lust maybe?). Maybe he’s not the type to get married and settle down if he has such a love of women! Can he stay faithful to just ONE the rest of his life?? It’ll be interesting to see!

  35. Ari saying “I love you” repeatedly really showed his insecurities and the need to be told “I love you” that much. He’s the one that needs reassurance. He’s terrified of being alone and wants to make sure someone chooses him back. It’s not really about the women, it’s about him.

  36. I really don’t think this Bachelor season is any different than any other one. I remember when Desiree was the Bachelorette and that one guy near the end (I forget his name…was it Brooks?) sent himself home. Desiree was soooooo devastated. EVERYONE was SO SURE it would have been him in the end if he didn’t go home but then Desiree got engaged to someone else. Everyone was questioning if the guy she ended up with was not her first pick. Well now they are married with a kid! So, I think there was definitely love there!!!

    And then when a guy like Brad Womack actually comes to terms with the fact that he cant marry either two women in the end (SMART DECISION) let alone date them off the show, he was a villain for awhile. I’m not sure why. So, everyone wanted him to pick someone just to appease the world only to probably break up? The relationship would have left the show as a lie (to Brad at least). As a woman, no thank you! It was great that Brad was honest with himself, and these ladies, however painful and upsetting it was.

    Look at Molly and Jason and how their story turned out- married with kids!

    All of these stories are complicated and confusing to us viewers but it’s really not our lives or decisions in the end that we have to live with. We’re not Arie so therefore we cant possibly understand Arie’s relationships…the few minutes each week we actually see of them. This is just my two cents! 🙂

  37. I think in the end Arie will choose Lauren just because she fits into the mold of a “hot trophy wife/hot blonde” type. Arie has said that Becca is “perfect”. He also said that Becca will be a good mother. So he knows that Becca suits him more in the long run. However, the ex showing up did taint the possibility of Arie & Becca being together in the future.

    During the Women Tell All, one former contestant told off Arie “I know what you did”. So maybe Arie really messed up at the finale.

    P.S. I want to see either Kristina or Danielle (from recent Paradise) as The Bachelorette!!

    1. I agree on Kristina – Russia…going there would be beyond Awesome. She is a spitfire and a class act.
      I think she’d be a great Bach-ette!!

  38. Whoever he picks, if he does pick someone, will be totally turned off watching the season and it will be a thorn in the relationship to come. How could either of them feel like he is totally devoted to just them? It wouldn’t be a surprise if he ends up with no one! He didn’t look like he was in love, or confident on bachelor tells all. It was strange how Chris was relating to Arie, and didn’t seem to congratulate him for finding someone.

  39. I didn’t think you could love 2 people at the same time till I had an incident with my cousin. He was dating 2 girls and fell in love with both for different reasons. He ended up marrying one over the other because one was more ready for marriage. They’ve been together 15 yrs.

  40. I really watched how Arie interacted with Lauren and Becca. With Lauren he was very ‘soft’ – meaning he was very sweet to her and careful how he held her and he made sure to tell her he loved her a lot, because that was the reassurance she needed. With Becca – he’s totally in love. She turns him on. He’s like a puppy dog in her presence. She controls that relationship and he’s happy to let her. So yes, I think he can love two people but he’s really only “in love” with one.

  41. hi ali,
    i think there is the possibility to care for 2 people a lot..but being in love with 2 no I’m sorry..I don’t think so..at the end he has to pick one and that one is the one he will love the most…

    in the mean time i’m loving the show.

  42. I was cringing constantly last night..he seems to want his cake….
    This season does seem forced and I still question how into the whole thing he is..
    He seemed generally disturbed by Ross but was it a pride thing versus I love Becca so much.. who knows
    Anyways I am sure the finale will be a 💩 show…and who ever he picks can’t see it lasting😔

  43. Also the show has changed since your day and BIP and winter games are a testament to it
    Most contestants are into Insta payout and quick fame and not ❤️. Dick head Luke is a perfect example of this

    1. Ugh what was with him on the Games? Or more like on the after show? Man- so glad they never chose him as Bachelor! He’s a piece of work!

  44. I agree with you can fall in love and get married in 8 weeks but you are focused on that one person not dating multiple woman at once. I think Arie and Lauren have similar lives outside of the Bachelor and see that working in the longer term. He was soooo nervous at hometowns he obviously had feelings for her otherwise he wouldn’t care.

    I couldn’t believe how much he said I love
    You I was dying and saying stop stop. Does he not realize they are both going to watch this in the future!

    Btw Ben Higgins told JoJo he told Lauren he loved her. He is a stand up guy and admitted it to her… Arie is blindsiding them both..

  45. This whole season is pretty much of a bust, can’t stand Arie and I’m not really sure why I KEEP watching, OK, let’s be real, of course we all know why we are watching…. Har Har. Am I the only one who noticed he picked two Emily clones? Lauren seems vapid and distant along with seeming to be VERY needy. My pick from the first night is Becca. She was a pretty good sport about the tent overnight I MUST say. It was soooo obvious to me that he slept with all three of them, and I find that just a little disturbing too. Way too much emphasis on what is supposed to be going on in the fantasy suite… And I’m also done with all the enhanced kissing noise….

  46. I agree that he should NIT have told them both. But, didn’t you have two guys in the end too? And say you could see being married to both?
    Did you not feel like you loved your final pick?

  47. I honestly think its sad no matter which way you slice it. As I was watching it yesterday, I said.. in this situation as hard as it is—I would prefer NOT to be picked by him. Its almost sadder to be the one picked in this situation. It almost feels like who he chooses, is by a means of “splitting hairs”. If someone was THATTTTT confused and torn and felt so deeply for someone else, thank you but no thank you – you can go with the other person. I know that sounds funny but its true!! I get the man is going to have feelings and develop a relationship with others but to me, Arie is crossing a line.
    Its sad for the girl who is blindsided and not chosen and its sad for the girl who is chosen having to know all this. And if the rumors are true—I really, really can’t imagine wanting to be either girl !! Am I making sense? LOL

  48. I’ve watched the Bachelor/Bachelorette from the very first season (with the exception of Jake’s season because…well..EW! EW! EW!) And right from the get-go my overall thought about the show is that dating 25 people at the same time would good for figuring out what qualities you are looking for in a person because you have such a variety of people right there in front of you to compare and contrast. But on the other hand, just because one person is a better match than another person doesn’t make them the BEST match for you. They’re just the best match from the small pool you’re in. There are other bodies of water out there. So, while I do watch the Bachelor, I never have a preference for who should be chosen in the end. Sure, people say they are there to find true love, but season after season, all I see are people settling. It’s like a “get rich quick” scheme, only with love instead of money. The danger of contentment is that we stop looking for something better.

  49. Ali, what are your thoughts about Caroline’s comment from the Women Tell All? I wonder if that has to do with last nights episode and Arie telling both women that he loves them. I don’t see this season ending happy.

    1. Yes! What was that all about?? Poor Chris, did you see his face? I can’t wait to know if they will ever talk about that comment again.

  50. I just have such a hard time with him telling both forks he loves them. Not that it might not be true but it’s just so painful for the one he doesn’t pick and confusing. Yes, Ben did it too, and from what I read it’s what put them in counseling and ended their relationship ultimately. It just doesn’t foster trust.

    I have to stick up for Lauren in how people talk about her. She’s somewhat quiet but that doesn’t make her un-fun or unlovable. I’m not the most outgoing girl in the world but that doesn’t make me any less of a person. A lot of outgoing guys can be very attracted to women who are quieter and less showy than them. It’s the opposites attract rule. I also feel like this environment has been hard for her to thrive in. Who would? It’s hard to throw caution to wind as a thinker when you know the guy you’re falling in love with us dating other ppl. Yes, I know it’s the bachelor, but that doesn’t make it normal or easy! Cut the the girl some slack.

  51. I’m so done with Arie. I can see where he loves both women, but I’ve never seen any excitement from Lauren about ANYTHING! She’s just so boring….pretty, but boring. I can see them go for long periods of time with nothing said if he picks her. I like Becca, she’s a much better match for Arie, in age, in life experience, from what we’ve seen, and they have lots to talk about when they’re together. His loss, if I read right. Lauren looks like she is his daughter. Ick.

    1. Becca is only two years older than Lauren, though… but I agree, Becca physically looks like a better match. Lauren looks very young.

      I think he will get with Lauren but I am not sure whether it will work out.

  52. Love ur blogs!! And I’m with everyone else why tell 2 people you love them repeatedly especially if u knew u wanted to pop the question to becca!! 💯% gonna be the most dramatic twisted finale that, it’s over two nights. So glad our Australian franchises don’t have to get down on one knee & can just walk away happily in a committed bf/gf relationship

  53. I kept covering my face during the show….like I was embarrassed for them LOL!! Why do they have to get engaged at the end? When a couple breaks up after the show, what happens with the ring? Do they need to return it? That is a huge waste of money for the show! (they probably don’t care ha!) Anyways, I think he should pick Becca.

  54. What confuses me about the X is how can someone really contact someone at the Bachelor and they fly them half way around the world, it is this kind of things that make me question the authenticity. He not only told Becca and Lauren that he loved them but in such a personal and convincing way. Either one he picks is going to be hurt and upset about him telling the other. Also wondering why there is not an after the final rose show?

  55. Hi Ali!

    I love reading your blog- I check it first thing Tuesday mornings. Question for you, it appears after each rose ceremony, the contestants and bachelor or bachelorette, spend some time together- making a toast, talking about the next place, etc. How long do they actually all spend together after a rose ceremony? I can’t imagine too long as we never see footage afterwards.

    Thanks!
    Courtney

  56. I do think it is possible to love two people at once, or to be in love with two people, if that’s any different. I haven’t, nor do I think I could ever love two people at the same time. But who’s to say someone can’t? Of course you can. There are no rules for that, or studies for that matter, no right answer. People are different.

    I think Arie is desperately looking for a WIFE. A life partner. Someone who he wants and likes and someone who also chooses him. And this is where in his mind, Becca makes MORE sense than Lauren. But what he doesn’t get is you don’t ”choose” who you love, not at first anyway. Becca may be the smarter choice, but Lauren just might be the right choice, the right one. However, it doesn’t guarantee anything. Love is taking a leap of faith, and sometimes, hopefully not many times, you come up short. Maybe Lauren can’t forgive him his I love yous to Becca. Maybe Lauren won’t trust him anymore. And Arie is scared of that, he’s scared of losing a chance to get a wife. So he propably chooses Becca, who he clearly cares for and maybe even loves. But given that this is his life after all, he propably really wants to be with Lauren. We’ll see how it all plays out I guess.

  57. In my much younger days I fell for two guys at the same time. Not love, but deep falling. It was hard and confusing, so I emphasize with Arie’s situation. I got out of the situation as fast as possible.

    I’m really sad that he told both Becca and Lauren that he loves them. It will cause so much heartache for each woman in different ways. That’s exactly what Ben did, and look at him now!!

  58. Hi Ali,
    I would just like to say that you have many wonderful people following your blog. I was so impressed with their comments and personal stories last week, when you asked them about marriage and religion.. I just couldn’t stop reading them. Thanks all !

  59. This is totally not bachelor related at all! But I just watched your FFF Facebook video and insta story and wanted to say I just love how excited you get about everything lol! You have such a happy personality, and you’re so real and down to earth. Super excited for your reveal pics:)

  60. I actually think he does have a good connection with Lauren, we just didn’t get to see it happen. I think they spent so much time in the beginning of the show concentrating on the Krystal drama (cause without it, it’s a relatively boring season) and we didn’t get to see that connection forming. I didn’t even know who Lauren was until her 1 on 1 date and I thought she would go home! I think he does love both but at the end of the day he knows in his heart who he will pick. Which will be totally devastating for the other one!

  61. Reminds me of Ben telling Jo Jo and Lauren he loved each of them. From what I heard Lauren say after she and Ben got together, she never got over that he had old Jo Jo he loved her.
    But I have read, Arie picks Becca then breaks up with her and goes back to Lauren…and that’s why Caroline said at the WTA “I know what you did and I don’t know how you can do that” Caroline was close with Becca on the show.
    My 2 cents

      1. It’s hard to avoid them at this point. I was pissed a couple weeks back when i tripped over spoilers, but have enjoyed viewing the show anyway.

        They usually miss something in the spoilers anyway, so tuning in still makes sense. 😏

  62. Ali

    If the t-shirt is perfectly imperfect, then remove it! Because I’m sure he hides both a sublime woman and a perfect mom.

    With love.

  63. I think it’s possible to love 2 people at once, but impossible to be “in love” with 2 people at once. I thought the way he said it was very different. He said “I love you” to Lauren B. and said “I am in love with you” followed by “I love you” to Becca. Very different in my opinion. You can have a lot of love for someone and not be in love with them. JMO

  64. I don’t know but my mind always goes to is he saying “i love you” to them to get something out of them from the fantasy suite night? I’m not sure how many people actually hook up there and I’d hate to think Arie is that type of guy but to say it going into fantasy suite to multiple girls…?! And even if you’re feeling it why the heck would you say it out loud knowing how badly in the end that’s going to hurt them. It’s very bothersome to me.

    1. This is why I think they should rename the Fantasy Suite. Call it something else so it doesn’t imply that you’re going to hook up. Each one of the women mentioned spending the night talking, which I’m sure happened, but I would bet they all got physical to some degree.

      “Fantasy Suite” sounds like something that would exist at the Playboy mansion, LOL.

      1. And the fact that Kendall made a face when he asked he she was feeling after last night, and he said “I mean emotionally, not physically.” In other words, they totally did it. And then he dumped her. And he knew he was dumping her. The only good thing is she seemed to know he was dumping her too so that makes it feel more honest. I wish he could just tell the girl he’s leaving that he’s leaving her, but that they can choose how they want to spend that last night. Sometimes the Bachelor or Bachelorette may genuinely not yet know who they are sending home, but I have to believe by this point they basically know who they are going to end up with.

  65. I love reading your blogs from the Monday night’s episode of “The Bachelor!” Were you ever in love with both Roberto and Chris Lambton as the final two guys of your season? How did you meet Kevin?

  66. It’s almost like Arie feels like he has to tell two women he loves them because that is what Ben did. Like the show would be boring if he didn’t like this is the new norm! Unfortunately!

  67. I do believe he is falling hard for both of them and it could be love. I have experienced loving 2 people I dated at the same time. I wound up ending it with one of them and doing the other for awhile…
    I think in this situation though it is wrong to tell both of them that he loves them. If he wants to discuss this to the camera or his family ok but both of them are sure he is picking them…

    I personally would be asking him about it…

    I love Kendall I will miss her. I think she could be right for him. As you say it is so quick and other ladies involved it’s a big deal…

    I have liked him so much until last night… we shall see

  68. I feel like a lot of us 🙋🏻‍♀️ Have picked on Arie this season saying stuff from he’s so boring, and he uses his hands weird and how he kisses, he’s cold to the girls etc These last couple episodes I feel like he’s kind of come out of his shell a little. I actually loved Arie on Emily Maynard’s season and was happy to learn he was gonna be on the show. I think Arie is naturally more reserved and super laid back. On this show I’m sure that can come off as boring. I think Lauren and him have very similar personalities which is why their dates and time together have come across as boring and bland, but to me he has always seemed to have this soft spot for her, when he looks at her, he looks like he has this high school crush going on lol I definitely think there’s alot more depth to their dates and time together than what is being captured and I would be shocked if at the end, I mean the real end if he didn’t end up with Lauren

  69. Hey Ali!
    I read your post all the way through but I didn’t read all of the comments, so my thoughts might be repetitive to this blog! 🙂 I think you nailed it in the Kendall portion. This show is completely out of the normal day to day dating life! The engagement at the end of the season is more of like a “hey, I choose YOU to continue life with.” versus “lets get married tomorrow.” That is more of a realistic goal.
    Out of Becca and Lauren, I think Arie is going to choose Lauren. IF he chooses somebody! I haven’t read any spoilers, I like to ride it out until the end, but what I am picking up, I don’t think he chooses anyone! If he does, my prediction is Lauren. It might have just been me, but he didn’t seem 100% during his date with Becca.
    By the time his third date of the night rolled around, his “I love you” did not seem genuine! Who knows what order of dates he went on, but saying “I love you” to each of them is still not okay! I just felt like it was a little fake.
    I’ve been a little over this season and sadly, “fake” has been the theme to me! I really do hope Arie is happy and in a strong relationship with one of them. I guess only time will tell!

    Love your style, blog posts, and your cute little family! I watch your IG stories when they are out there and am obsessed with the cuteness of Molly!! xo!

  70. Haha you crack me up girl! I feel the same way. I literally texted my mom back when she asked how I was today that I was tired and don’t understand The Bachelor 😂😂. I’ve heard rumors and can’t wait to see how it plays out, but my heart goes out to those girls. And can we please nominate Kendall for Bachelorette?!

    Xo Jackie http://www.instinctivelyenvogue.com

  71. Hey Ali!

    I love reading your Bachelor blogs! I’ve pretty much agreed with you this whole season.

    I definitely think you can love two people at the same time. I don’t recommend it though 😂

    I think this whole time he’s wanted things to work with Lauren that he’s forced them. He’s kept her around even when dates were awkward and she wasn’t engaging. If he wasn’t super into her, then her lack of conversation and walls she has up probably would have sent her home a few weeks ago.

    But with Becca, it’s seemed that their connection has been natural from the beginning.

    I’ve also wondered if they’ve edited it this way to make us think him and Lauren don’t have as good of a connection. Because in an interview, Arie stated that he was disappointed that they didn’t show his and Lauren’s deep conversations on that same date. Instead they kept showing Lauren saying “wow” over and over. I’m not sure!

    Although I do think you can love two people at the same time, I don’t think in this situation that you should tell them both. I can’t help but wonder if he wanted each girl to know how much he truly cared for them. But I feel like at this point, he should know which one he feels stronger for and he should have only told her. He could have told the other girl how much he cared for her (because I know he does), but not used those 3 special words.

    Everyone gets hurt in this situation- Arie hurts bc he’s breaking one’s heart, the one who doesn’t get picked is blindsided, and the one who does get picked finds out he told the other girl he loved her too the day before!! Ugh! I wish he would have thought before he spoke 😞 For everyone’s sake.

  72. I actually don’t care much for Becca. I saw a photo of her sticking up her middle finger in protest against a political figure. How disrespectful and immature. I would NEVER do that regardless.

    Arie said Becca was the safe one. So I imagine he proposes to her, and she accepts. But I suspect that the relationship doesn’t work. And Arie realizes he’s in love with Lauren. Arie clearly loves women, so I’m not sure that he will get engaged to Lauren. But there’s no doubt in my mind that editing was done to make Lauren look boring. Most likely to throw us off. From what I’ve read, Lauren is a very sweet and likable woman in real life. Yes, I believe Lauren is in love with Arie and wanted reassurance. Arie said with Lauren he has a strong connection and it doesn’t make sense. Love isn’t logical. Becca is the logical choice, but in Arie’s heart I believe it’s Lauren he finally realizes that he is in love with.

    I know for a fact that Jason Mesnick proposed to Melissa because she was safe and it was logical. But he realized he got engaged to the wrong woman and that Molly was the one.

    It’s happened before. I suspect the Mesnick flip flop will happen with Arie.

  73. Ali, I know you ordered a size medium in your shirt, but is that a roomy fit or true to size? it looks very lose fitting. Trying to figure out if I should order a S or M. Thanks!

  74. This episode made me uncomfortable for two reasons, the first reason being the fantasy suite and the second being the spoilers that have come to light.

    Is it just me, or is the idea of the fantasy suite kind of outdated? Maybe it’s just the name of it, or the way the key is presented? Something about the way Arie said, “What do you think?” to each one of them after they read the note grossed me out. He was SO eager with each woman, and because it’s hard to gauge his sincerity, something about that felt wrong.

    Re: the spoilers, I won’t go into detail, but if what I have read is true, Arie needs therapy and a lot of alone time.

    1. I totally hear you but I think the fantasy suite is sooooo important. Not because a lot of couple get intimate. But because it’s your first chance to actually talk OFF camera. You become so much closer with that privacy. But I agree that they potentially sleeping with 3 different people in 6 days is a bit hard to comprehend.

  75. SO…..of course I didn’t read all the comments but I will say my piece. I think this is by far one of the best seasons. Arie is super down to earth and goes with his heart. I don’t know if you can truly be in love with two people but Arie believes it so I won’t doubt his feelings. I do think he is forcing his relationship with Lauren and I am truly not feeling a love connection there. Right from the beginning i loved him and Becca together and hoping their relationship works out. I’m wondering about all the negativity here, why watch the show???!!!!

  76. Maybe the Bachelor take away for the future is: when the Bachelor tells you he loves you…believe it, BUT ask if her loves you and only you! I think the assumption is when some one tells you they love you, that you believe you are the only one he loves. Apparently this is NOT the case.

    1. I agree! I would totally ask if I am the only one he loves. And I would ask if I am the only one he is having sex with in the Fantasy Suite! Granted, if he is planning to dump you anyway he might lie. Or if he is honest and the answer is that he loves others and/or is having sex with others, it would likely cause conflict on your own fantasy date… but better to find out before than after! What the Bachelors often do not seem to think about is how their final choice / future fiancee will feel watching the season back and whether she will be okay with his actions throughout this process. I think Sean Lowe and Catherine worked out because he was a gentleman throughout the whole process, and watching it back he was clearly most giddy about Catherine compared to anyone else.

      1. Brad Womack must have been pained that they Cut so much of he and Emily…it was clear he treated her above others, so they (producers) showed us very little.
        And then she had to sit there and watch him week after week.*with* the others.

  77. I was super irritated by the “I Love You’s” being spoken so freely to the two women. He is definitely giving mixed messages and it will cause a lot of heartbreak in the end. I really feel that no matter what, that kind of talk should wait until the end when the final woman is chosen. There are lots of other words that can be said, but “I Love You” is very special and should be saved until you are sure of the person you want to be with. I cringed every time he said it.

    1. “Yeah but “…isn’t it weird that none of the women are questioning if he is giving that to the others?
      JoJo and Lauren both had qualms that Ben had, and it made airtime in their interviews.
      So…have the gals wondered and we aren’t seeing it??
      Or are they really thinking It’s just them? Hard to know. Certainly they have seen the bachelor before.

  78. I couldn’t believe he told both Lauren and Becca I love you and multiple times!! I remember when Ben Higgins did that on his season and didn’t go over well in the end. I think for whichever lady gets picked if she ever watches the show back, it will cause conflict. I don’t know if I believe it’s possible to be that deeply in love with two people at once, but I could understand how being in such magical places and not normal dating world circumstances could twist someone to think that, when in the moment. It’s all kind of weird! I’ve also had a hard time understanding why the show casts young women for a 36 year old man (and I’m saying that as someone in my thirties). I hope he picks Becca, but I feel like it will be Lauren. I don’t know if they will last. If Becca doesn’t win I think her or Tia would be a great next Bachelorette! P.s. you’re still my favorite “Bachelorette!” 🙂

  79. Question! Does the next date come the same day he wakes up and has breakfast from the previous date?! It’s just hard for me to understand How he could leave Lauren the way he did that morning, change his outfit, and go meet Becca!?

  80. Also, I bet Arie has sex with all 3 of the girls if they are willing. By the comment he made he clearly had sex with Kendall and then dumped her. Which sucks because I think he new all along that he was going to dump her before the final 2 (and it is surprising that he didn’t dump her last week. But maybe he wanted a Fantasy Suite with her more than he wanted it with Tia?)

    Honestly I feel like the whole Fantasy Suite thing is really lame, and the whole proposal thing is lame. It should just be where a serious relationship but not a proposal is expected at the end and that only one person gets a Fantasy Suite.

    1. It looked to me like the women were happy to give the fantasy suite a try, knowing they are one of three.
      Thats one thing that has changed over the years. Nobody is ashamed to have an overnight w a guy, then walk away *unchosen*. Sex is fair game. And, it seems preferable than no sex, for either gender.
      Progress!

  81. Also, based on interviews, I feel like Arie is a Bachelor who was not liked very much by his contestants. A lot of them had made comments like “I thought/was hoping it would be Peter” (Bekah M., Krystal). I think most of them want to win, want to get air time, want to travel, want the chance to become the next Bachelorette. But I am not sure how many truly liked him.

    I think Lauren does like him. However, I think she is not the best fit for a situation like the Bachelor where the guy is dating multiple people. Plus, I m not convinced Arie will be a committed, monogamous husband, though maybe I am wrong. From the comments she makes, she says that her parents “haven’t had an easy marriage” and that she has “deep-seated trust issues,” so I am taking that to mean one of her parents, likely her father, may have been unfaithful, or something to that effect. So I really hope that Arie, who is a lothario, does not eventually hurt her.

    Becca seems to like him too, as did Tia, but honestly it is hard to differentiate whether they like him for him or whether they just want the Bachelor to choose them.

    On another note, I think Becca would make the best Bachelorette of anyone else on the season. I also want to see more of Bekah M. and Bibiana, perhaps in Paradise.

  82. Ali, can you share your thoughts on the behind the scenes of Becca’s ex showing up? Does the show fly him there? They try to make it seem like he just showed up on his own, but really?? I love your insider perspective!

  83. Ok I’m shocked you didn’t mention the kissing in the episode. I feel like I’m watching a horney teenage boy! It’s way too much. The girls can’t even finish a sentence without him raming his tongue down their throat!

  84. Can Ross be on Bachelor in Paradise? 😂 He was on the show for a second and I already want him to find love more than Arie

    1. Yeah, producers Must like.him, they fave him a good amount of airtime. hunky!
      And Arie.juat let him walk on to Becca, on his own..no on getting up to see her as well…that freaked me out a bit.
      Too laid back.

  85. Hi Ali! Here’s what’s been weighing on my mind. By the way HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to your beautiful family on the news of you guys having a baby boy!! Okay so we’ve heard one too many “I love you’s“. And at least one “I’m falling in love with you”. Not to mention the misdirection and hope he gave poor Tia (oh my gosh bless her heart!). And I don’t really hold it against him as far as what’s going to happen at the finale bc I can see how it could be extremely difficult to understand the direction your heart is leading you in this very unique experience but here’s where I do have a problem… So far in the two seasons he’s been on the Bachelor we’ve heard Arie claim to have fallen in love with Emily, Becca, and Lauren and falling in love with Kendall as well as giving strong mixed signals to Tia that she may be the one. I mean aren’t most of us lucky if we find one true love in our lifetime? 🤨 Hmmmm

  86. Ok, I feel like no one is saying this, but I will … I think Arie is gay. Anyone else?? As for the I Love You’s: I don’t know if I believe you can be IN love with two people at the same time. I think you can have love for two people, but being IN love is different. I do feel like he thinks Lauren is more unattainable and he senses her insecurities so part of him telling her he loves her is to try to reassure her and get her to relax and open up a bit more so he can see if they can be together.
    Regardless, I think it’s going to end up blowing up in his face. I do feel like Ben got a lot of flack for saying I love you to Jojo and Lauren. And every interview I saw of Ben and Lauren after the show, people asked Lauren how she felt about him telling Jojo he loved her, too. And you could tell it bothered Lauren and made her feel insecure. I can’t imagine that didn’t play a role in the demise of their relationship.

  87. I was backreading all your old entries! And I know this may sound kinda odd…. How do you like your bedding? LOL. I see mixed reviews on the Amazon link you provided. So I’d love to know your thoughts!

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