Arie Lips are Teaching Us a Valuable Lesson

Confused by the title of my blog? Honestly even as I typed it into my computer I cringed. But I’m going to stand by saying it because I really do think that women can learn something from how Arie is behaving on some of these dates. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to hate on Arie or defend him really. I like Arie and always have but I think he sending some very confusing signals. I’ll get to why I think Arie is actually teaching women all over America (or the world! Wherever people are watching!)  a valuable lesson. But first let’s talk about these dates.

FYI, the below shirt is in honor of Ari’e lips. His very, very active lips. Ewwwww.


Becca Date

I’m confused by Becca’s date. I thought for sure that she and Arie could end up together but this date totally threw me off. That seems to be the theme with me this season. I just CAN’T figure Arie out at ALL! He said he was unsure if he should bring her to visit his family. That tells me one of two things.. 1) He isn’t sure about her and she’s unlikely to end up with him. OR 2) The producers asked him to say that on camera to throw us off. I dunno. The fact that he feels like they have to work to get back what they had at the beginning isn’t a good sign in my mind.

Other than that, there was just a bunch of making out on this date. But that’s the norm on pretty much any and every date this season.

Jacqueline Saying Goodbye

I’m always really impressed when someone decides to send them self home . I kind of just chuckled to myself after I wrote that because I realize that I actually sent myself home when I was on the Bachelor. But that’s not why! Ha! I guess I just think so many people on the show get caught up with the winning and like Jacqueline said, falling in love with the idea of falling in love rather than falling in love with the actual person on the show. So I always find it refreshing when someone realizes that and goes home on their own. So good for Jacqueline for listening to what her heart was telling her and choosing to leave. I was actually pretty surprised that Arie said something along the lines of her coming back to him if she changed her mind. I’ll be very curious to see if she does change her mind! And many of you may be wondering why she was crying so much if she was sure about leaving him. I think the answer to that question is the same reason most girls cry when leaving the show. You’re not just mourning the loss of the guy, but your mourning Having to leave all your girlfriends that you’ve gotten so close to on the show. And being sad that you’re leaving the experience in general. They are in Italy after all and are for sure heading to some other fabulous destination after home towns. You’d cry if you missed out on that too! Ha! That’s why some people stay to the very end even when they’re not committed. So it takes a really genuine person in my mind to leave on their own before getting to experience all of that.

Lauren Date

The daytime portion of their date was definitely better than the daytime portion of their date last week. That said, it was still pretty boring. I’d like to say that the editors must be editing out all of their interesting conversations but I highly doubt that’s the case. Interesting conversations make the show more interesting. Moreso than dead silence. I honestly found myself zoning out during their date multiple times. I had to rewind it and re-watch to make sure I didn’t miss anything. But of course I didn’t miss anything because they barely said anything to each other.

The most interesting part of the entire episode in my mind was during the night portion of their date! Why in the world did Arie walk away after Lauren told him she was falling for him?! I mean, he obviously left to go talk to a producer quickly. But about what? We didn’t see any of his interview. And then when he came back he said he wasn’t himself because he was vulnerable, but that doesn’t explain why he got up and walked away. The only explanation and my mind is that maybe he walked off camera to talk to a producer about whether or not he could tell Lauren that he was falling in love with her too. But the reason I have a hard time believing that’s what he did is because when I was the Bachelorette it was made very clear all the time that you shouldn’t say I love you until the end just in case you change your mind about who you end up choosing in the end. So I feel like that’s something Arie would’ve been prepped for. But who knows, Maybe he was caught up in the moment. I just think he handled it in a very weird way. I would’ve been super offended I have if I was Lauren. And in the end he made her cry which I’m sure wasn’t his intention

I’m so curious as to what is said about that in any interviews he does coming up. However, I don’t think he’s done any interviews since the beginning of the season so I doubt we’ll ever find out. Unless they end up together, and in that case, maybe this moment will be revisited at After the Final Rose. I sure hope it is addressed in more detailed at some point.

And he told her he was falling deeply in love with her. Based on what?! They barely talk to each other. I feel like he’s falling in love with the idea of her or in love with the way she looks or something. I’m just so confused as to how he could have such strong feelings for her when he doesn’t know her. They basically met last week. Anyone else as confused about this as I am?!

Sienne Date

My gut was that Sienne would go home when we first saw that she was getting the one in one day. However, Arie is so passionate and romantic that I was a little unsure of whether or not he would be able to send her home since they developed a pretty good connection at this point. But then I looked at the other three girls that were going on the group day and I couldn’t imagine two of them going home. Sienne just seemed like she didn’t have as strong of a relationship with Arie as the other girls did. So I’m glad Arie stuck to his guns and ended up saying goodbye to Sienne. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t sad to see her go! I think she is a beautiful soul and I’m sure we’ll be seeing lots more of her on future shows! Maybe even the Bachelorette?

And I was just thinking that I find it strange that Arie spent so much time with her. He had to know at the beginning of the day that he was sending her home and I’m surprised that he wasted that time when he could’ve spent it with one of the other girls. That leads me to believe that Becca and Lauren are going to be his top two in the end. Because he obviously wanted to make sure he got in that time with those girls. And to put someone you’re really interested in on a group date at this point would just seem odd to me. Again, Arie has been completely throwing me off all season long. So who knows!

Group Date

The group date was interesting. To be honest, I’m not quite sure how I felt about Tia bringing up her feelings about Bekah to Arie at this point. Not because I don’t think people should bring up concerns about other girls at this point in the process. I think it’s always a good idea to bring up your concerns if they are serious. I just wasn’t quite sure what her goal was for bringing up why she thought Becca wasn’t ready. She said it wasn’t necessarily because of her age, but rather her lack of experience. Which yes there is a slight difference between the two but really for the most part the older you get the more experience you have. Unless you’re 35 and have never been in a relationship before. I guess the better way to say it is the younger you are the less experience you have. Since you can be older and have little experience as well. Oh well, I still adore Tia I just don’t know that I agree with her decision here.

And I think Arie knew he was keeping Tia when he gave Kendall the rose. I’m sure the producers just asked him to get her the rose first so we got the dramatic two-on-one with Bekah and Tia. In the end, I think Arie sent Bekah home because he knew it wouldn’t work out in the long run. And I think he chose to send her home now because he probably didn’t want to face her father and explain why a 36-year-old man wanted to date his 22-year-old daughter. Heck, I wouldn’t want to have to explain that to someone’s father either! If my daughter Molly comes home one day at 22 and tells me she’s dating a 36-year-old I’m gonna have a lot of questions for the guy. Especially if that guy is telling me he wants to ask for her hand in marriage after knowing her for only two months.

A Lesson for Everyone Watching

I know I sound like a broken record since I say this every single episode, but it just bothers me every single episode. I really wish Arie didn’t make out so passionately and lovingly with every single girl! It just makes it seem not as genuine. On two dates in this episode he kissed the girls with such passion and then sent them home. I just don’t remember doing that on my season. I feel like if I sent a guy home on a date, I hadn’t kissed him earlier on that date. I honestly feel like this is almost something good for many young women out there to see. Not even just young women, any woman i the dating game. I think it shows that even if the guy kisses you like he loves you, that doesn’t mean he necessarily loves you. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I remember being in a relationship with a guy once and thinking that because he kissed me so passionately and our physical bond was so strong he must love me even though he did things to me emotionally that were wrong. I think sometimes when you love someone so much you want to believe they love you back and I used to say, because the way this particular guy kissed me, he must have loved me back. I think all the single women out there watching Arie kiss every girl this way should almost take it as a learning lesson that just because the guy kisses you passionately it doesn’t mean you’re the only woman in his life. And I’m not hating on Arie in any way! I really like Arie and I don’t think he’s trying to deceive anyone. I just think he’s a passionate kisser! But I still think it’s important for women watching this to know that passion doesn’t necessarily mean loyalty. It certainly hasn’t in this season of the Bachelor.

So in honor of Arie’s lips and the lessons they have taught us, I’m sharing my favorite “lips” tops. Ha! I own the 1st three tops and love them.

Well that was a long blog post. I just had so much to say. And now we all have SO much to discuss!!! Let’s do it in the comments below.

And before you go, check out my favorite looks form this week below 🙂



196 Thoughts

196 thoughts on “Arie Lips are Teaching Us a Valuable Lesson

  1. When Arie told Jacqueline to *come back to me* I thought his fiancee *now* must be mortified – not abt Jacqueline in particular, but abt his lack of readiness.

    I believe he believes he *should * be ready for marriage and parenthood ( prompted by his younger brother’s marriage ) but isn’t – in the conventional sense, anyway.

    The more I see of Lauren, physically, the more she echoes the Emily Maynard mold that Arie loves/favors. I think that and what producers Aren’t showing us, is the glue between them.

    Bekah M is a star. ABC is promoting her, and I’m tuning right in. The contrast and mirroring between she and Tia was Gold. Who is the *grown up*, who is the baby *brat*, who is the competitive *schemer* and who is the *true heart*, taking it one breath at a time ?

    I bow to both of them.

    Thank you to Ali: for this great space to share and compare notes ~

    1. Oh my! In thought I was the only one who said Lauren is the equal to Emily. Agree with ali, stop making out with everyone. This season seems to be boring versus the past.

      1. I agree , arie.was love with emily and he picked the woman this season that looks the most like her , he was looking for a emily look alike along

    2. Just FYI that lip shirt is sold out.
      He creeps me out with all the making out eweeeee!
      He told Lauren he was falling in love with her. Why doesn’t he just give her the ring and let’s all go home.

    3. I agree with you and think Arie might be caught up with a lot of images; of his brother’s marriage, of Emily’s looks, of how someone should kiss etc. This would lead one to think he’s not ready for marriage, yet in other areas he seems to he mature. In the end.I agree Ali – I like him – but not am confused by him! I also agree that the finalists will be Lauren and Becca. I also agree with you – Bekkah is a star, a natural one!

    4. I sooo agree. Arie likes Lauren’s looks. We all know it’s not the connection OR her personality. Have ya all read reality Steve?

      PS my husband never watches but he did this week and about Lauren said “he wants a trophy wife”. All about looks.

    5. If Lauren goes back to Arie she’s got to be crazy. Arie either doesn’t know what he wants or he’s a narcissistic control freak or both. None of the above are good or healthy.

  2. Oh yeah: I’ve been noticing Kendall cries hard when cast mates leave at rose ceremonies.
    Harder than I’ve seen past seasons…I don’t think it’s a great sign. 💔

      1. Seems like a big swing from her onscreen time – which is *brainy* and contained in a lovely way. Feb 6 I thought Oh she really cares abt the girl sent home. Last night I thought Wow, she is sobbing – castmates arw consoling her, saying Oh Kendall. Tbat seemed different than other seasons. Maybe it’s too rough for her. (I couldn’t handle the competitive climate).

        Does she fear she is Next?
        Is the pressure hurting her too much? It seemed too painful, to me. Like funeral tears. I worried for ber, and thought it a little weird that we weren’t r e a l l y shown much. Like it was something editing couldn’t chop out, but def something they didn’t want to depict ( and since when does Bach avoid the emo?)

        Would love to know what you think💭

  3. YES, I agree so much on that lesson! Something it took me a while too to figure out – as you say, when you are really, really into someone (or even in love) you so desperately want to have those reassurances but I think you learn with age how to spot the real ones vs the ones you WANT to be signs.

    I love Bekah M but to me it just seems healthy if she is not ready to marry a 36-year-old she barely knows! For me, early 20s were typically a time when you feel pretty adult (“I’m not a teenager, I’m an adult now!”) but still have so much growing to do. I think she has amazing charisma though and she will do really well in whatever she takes on next. There are many impressive, wonderful women this season (like Seine and Jacqueline) that will be just fine.

    I can’t wait to see the rest of this season because it is so WEIRD! What’s going on with Lauren?! What is their connection more than that she looks a lot like Emily? They don’t even seem to have that overpowering physical bond… it makes me feel like there’s so much we haven’t seen but I agree with you! Watching them now makes for painfully dull TV so if there was something interesting, wouldn’t they show it?

    Are you going to watch Winter Games? Being from Sweden it’s so weird to see some Swedish contestants mingle with the American ones!

    1. Ha ha, love that you too are from Sweden! : )

      Ali, oh goodness the dullness to this bachelor in general, and to the duo of him and Lauren. Zzzzzzz!

      1. I love Becky M too. She’s very mature for her age, but I can see why he sent her home. I thought it was ok for Tia to say something to Becca , but not Arie. It really made me not like her even more. She wasn’t my favorite. Can’t wait to see which way this goes. I think Tia will go home after hometown

  4. I could not wait to read your post today!!! I agree 100% with everything you said!! I just don’t see real connections on this season. Are they cutting things out?!?! I’m just so confused. And deep things are being said that leave me thinking “what the…” every single week!!! Lauren’s date and what was said blew me away because you’re right… they don’t seem to talk much! Idk! I’m feeling so confused this season! 😑

    1. They are for sure cutting things out. Their dates last ALLLLLL day and we only see about 15 minutes, maybe??? LOL. Lauren and Arie’s daytime portion of their date in Paris was like 5-10 minutes, if that. Obviously they were together LONGER than that before they had dinner that night. Editing is probably my worst pet peeve of any reality show but it’s necessary, obviously. We cant see 24 hours of their day lol 🙁

      1. Im starting to think producers are just focusing in on all the kissing because that is what people knew him for before the season started. Feels like there is a lot of missing peices in most of his relationships that he is forming

    2. I agree with you, this season, I start thinking that he is not ready and he might not propose at the end, He is playing with these girls emotions. I really see him end up alone or break the heart of the one he will pick. I am sad for these beautiful girls falling for someone who isn’t taking them serious.

  5. OH. MY. GOODNESS. I was totally thrown off when Lauren received a rose. I honestly thought that would be his opportunity to send her home because as a viewer I do not see the connection. I also noticed how he said he was falling madly in love with Lauren compared to how he worded how he felt with Becca??? I can’t remember the exact words. I really like the girls this season. Kendall is truly amazing. But I have a hard time seeing who would end up with Arie.

  6. I saw an interview with Arie after last weeks episode. He said then that some fun stuff from his and Lauren’s date was edited out, but that the first part was in fact a little awkward… Or something like that. But I just found the video on youtube again. It’s called: Arie Luyendyk dishes on ‘Bachelor’ editing, Krystal, eating worms and more… If you want to see it too. 🙂

    I too was a bit surprised about what he said to Lauren and also how he walked away. But I think that there must be something that we don’t get to see, and that can’t necessarily be shown through smaller conversations. I feel like there must at least be something to get him to say that.

    I love your blogs on the bachelor, and that you write them so quickly. Sometimes it’s even more fun to read this than seeing the episode itself. 🙂

  7. I feel the same way. The kissing is just too much. I can’t remember a lead in any previous season kissing as many contestants (let alone with that amount of passion) ever! I find the group dates slightly repulsive because it’s like a revolving door of make out sessions. It seems like whenever there is a lack of communication or someone says they’re confused he just goes in for the kiss. Based on how he acts with all of the women I am not even sure he’s ready for a real relationship. He seems so confused about what he wants…. Honestly I can’t begin to guess who he’ll end up with but I have a feeling the relationship will be short lived regardless.

  8. I am so glad you posted your thoughts early this morning, I just wanted to confirm if me and my husband’s brains are twisted ha ha! You are so on point in every level. I should tell my niece the lesson you mentioned, I totally agree.

    I told my husband this morning that Arie ‘should’ end up with Lauren because he already told her he was ‘madly falling in love’ with her. If not, the girl Arie will get engaged (whoever is she from the group) will go ballistic if she watches this episode.

    I think Arie comes next to Pablo as the worse Bachelor. Just saying.

  9. It’s not just Arie’s lips that bother me, it’s his hands! He kisses AND touches each one of the girls so sensually that it just feels… wrong. Yuck.

    And I agree with others that Lauren seems to be similar looking to Emily, and he seems to be falling in love with the idea of her, or her looks, rather than her true self. Like everyone is saying, she barely speaks! How can you fall in love with someone you don’t even know?!

    I love reading your recaps, BTW. They’re so fun! 🙂

  10. That t-shirt is a hilarious little (playful) poke at Arie and his kissy lips. “C’mere, girls! Let’s smooch!” Ha ha! Also: yuck!

    Oy, Lauren. Arie’s attraction to her is purely physical. I’ve known guys like Arie who get obsessed with an attractive woman like Lauren just because the woman happens to be really pretty. Like you said, if there was interesting conversation going on between them, I doubt the producers would edit it out completely. I feel like all the other women are in color, and she is in black and white. Just boring and blah. Arie is not thinking with his brain on this one.

    I’m baffled as to why he would let his connection with Becca fall by the wayside when they had such a great first date. In the same way that I’m confused about how/why he likes Lauren so much when it seems like they only just met, I’m confused about why he would keep Becca at a distance week after week and not spend more time with her when they established such a good rapport so early on.

  11. I have a question. This may have been addressed before, but I’m new here.

    Is there a reason to hold the rose when the girl is being sent home? That just feels so cruel. It seems like something the producers say. “Always pick up the rose when you’re making your decision.”

    1. This also bothers me. I don’t recall anyone else doing that.My husband says he is after a trophy wife like almost every other race car driver.Becca is our mutual pick.

      1. My hubby and I said the same thing about the rose dangling!! It’s like ‘See this here rose 🥀 well ya can’t have it’ So cruel!!

  12. I still think Becca is Arie’s match. I think they’re editing out the “good” parts so it’s more of a surprise in the end. My thought when he walked away from Lauren was maybe he had a “poop attack.” That sounds so gross, but sometimes those things hit at the most inopportune times for me, and I wonder if that’s what happened. I mean how do you say that on a TV show?! I love Bekah and thought she made the show so fun!! I really hope she finds somebody great and maybe even comes back at the Bachelorette, but I just don’t think she was “the one” for Arie.

    1. I too thought he suddenly had some GI distress. The way he looked around first made me think he was scoping out a bathroom. Whatever it was, it seemed awkward and I felt bad for Lauren left sitting there.

  13. I also think we are missing something with Lauren and Arie. One thing I noticed is why the young Becca hardly had on any makeup – she needed some.

    1. No, she didn’t. If she wanted to wear them, fine. If she didn’t, that’s fine too. She is beautiful either way.

    2. Kudos to Becca for wearing less and sending a good message to the younger population that you can be beautiful with no makeup or less.

        1. I can’t see Arie with Kendall and all her stuffed animals. It will be very interesting to see how he reacts to all her taxidermy on her hometown date. Honestly if it were me and s guy took me home and had all those stuffed animals around there would be no way I’d be sticking around! That’s just weird!

    3. If you notice in the interviews after she talks to Tia she has on makeup… when she starts crying her tears are straight black from her mascara. I’m thinking that she cried most of it off/was asked to remove it to prevent further messiness by the time she got to Arie.

    1. Right!?!? He’s so gropey with those long fingers holding everyone’s head up – not digging it at all! He looks so scripted- like he’s rehearsed his two ‘hold and kiss’ moves –

  14. You, of ALL people, should understand how edited these shows are. I’m not a super big fan of Arie, but I think you’re being way too critical of him. It’s like you forget what it’s like to be in his position. His kissing is annoying, perhaps, but it’s obviously just how he kisses. And for you to criticize Tia for bringing up Bekah…do you not remember when you brought up Vienna to Jake?!? And how extremely whiny and immature you were (portrayed) on camera??
    You are quite the hypocritical judge, especially considering you’ve been in these people’s shoes before. I’m just disappointed in what these blog posts have come to from you. I used to enjoy them more. Not so much this time around.

    1. I think you are missing the point of why is he passionately kissing girls he is sending home. He had an idea going into it who he was going to choose. Ali has said several times that you usually know who your final two are going to be-but you have to keep the others around for the show.

      Also-Vienna was a TOTALLY different person than Bekah. There’s nothing wrong with Bekah besides the age difference. Vienna was a conniving, fake person-WAY different situation that Ali brought up. Not to mention that it was 7 years ago-her blog is how she feels today after being through it and growing up and maturing.

      If you don’t like the blog-don’t read it. No reason to spread hate. I don’t believe she is being hypocritical at all-in fact, I love that this is the first season she has been more honest on the people as opposed to defending their behavior.

      1. I’m not spreading hate. Quite the contrary. What is the point of Ali’s bachelor blog other than to pick apart and criticize….

      2. And yes, Perhaps Ali has grown up a bit since her season. But, even more reason to have a bit more empathy for the people in this show. I just hate how she is so critical of how someone else is choosing to act on the show.

        1. Then don’t read it. You’re choosing to read something you don’t like, and then doing he exact thing you’re accusing Ali of doing-being critical!

    2. Ali’s blogs are the best and if you don’t like her thoughts then don’t read it. She says everything that we are thinking and she’s been there so she can give us insight in to what really goes on behind camera. Love you Ali!

    3. I agree! Ali, as always, is promoting herself and so she is on a mission to be politcally correct and not offend anyone. God forbid she piss off the Arie lovers. If she says one more time “I really like Arie, but…” Say what you really think Ali, that’s what makes a blog credible.

      1. Maybe how she really feels is that she really does like Arie. It sounds like you don’t like him, and u want her to dislike him as well. She’s being very honest. She likes arie but maybe she doesn’t like EVERY thing he does.

      2. Yes! It’s like if you’re going to pick apart and criticize, just do it. Don’t hide behind “I always try to be nice BUT, or I really like Arie BUT and Bekah is mature for 22 BUT….”

    4. Have you read Rachel Lindsey’s? Now that is one filled with rude comments, including “Baby Becca.” There is giving your opinion in a tasteful way and just being an ass. I don’t see anything wrong in what Ali is doing

  15. I don’t think 22 was too young to be married or ready for that kind of comittment (I got married at 22 and at 28 I have 4 kids!). I do think she was too young/ too free spirited for Arie.

    Lauren confuses me. I was genuinely hoping this date would be less boring but it was another
    snooze fest.

    I really have 0 idea who he picks. Sometimes I read spoilers cause I can’t wait – but this season I don’t even want to read them…. I’m not that invested. I find Arie a little boring! Kissing seems the only thing he puts any enthusiasm into. Ha ha

    1. I think they must have edited out a lot from Arie and Lauren’s date. She can’t be that boring to watch…She reminds me of Lauren (Ben’s ex) equally super boring to watch.

      1. Maybe that’s exactly it. Some guys just want a pretty, made up, quiet, submissive woman on their arm. That’s not what Arie said he wanted but maybe deep down, that’s it? So sad if that’s true. I wanted to see a love story not someone looking for a trophy wife.

        1. I totally think he wants a trophy wife who will quietly comply with whatever he wants to do.

          His interest in Lauren is creepy in my opinion. The way he looks at her makes me so uncomfortable because there’s been zero intellectual or emotional connection shown between the two of them, so it comes across as a purely physical attraction and it seems like he can barely contain himself.

          I also think she reminds him of Emily, which further creeps me out.

  16. I spaced out a lot with this one. Honestly he just not fun to watch. Every girl now matter if they are sent home or stay, he is the EXACT same way. Nothing seems special. If he picks lauren B., I would think it’s because he misses His ex. They kinda look alike and have similar personalities- quiet, introvert, soft spoken, put together.

  17. Bottom line whoever he picks the relationship won’t last. How can it possibly last when he acts the exact same way (almost) with every girl. Poor Arie – he needs to figure out himself and completely get over Emily before he can find his forever partner.

  18. I reeeeeeeally don’t get the Lauren thing. She’s freaking gorgeous, obviously. But there’s zilch going on there personality-wise or emotion-wise. I truly think Arie just “sees” himself with her more than any of the other girls. Race car guy, hot blonde wife…. I dunno, I truly just think he wants it to be her more than anyone else and is trying to force it. She’s so boring it’s painful to watch. Ugh.

  19. I couldn’t wait to read this today. The entire time I was Watching last night I kept Telling my husband that Ali was going to have something to say about this.
    Our bottom line last night is that we think he thinks Lauren is Emily. He has the idea that they are so much alike. But it’s not there. Physically yes but emotionally I feel like they have next to nothing.
    And of course I agree, this kissing is just too much. Lessons learned for the future I suppose.
    Thanks for writing, you make us enjoy the show even more.

  20. I personally think Arie is a little dorky!! And….the endless kissing is just plain awkward to watch. I really can’t believe any of these girls are the least bit interested in him because he seems so boring!! His time with Lauren is really a snoozefest!! I’m glad I record this so I can fast forward the boring parts. The only thing wrong with that is all I end up with are the commercials!! I’m sure he is probably a very nice person in real life and I do hope he finds happiness, but he certainly has not been portrayed very well in this season!

  21. I’m super intrigued about the hometowns next week…I’m not surprised at all by who is left but I think Arie has an uphill battle with many, if not all 4 of the families since he is a little more well-known and has a bit of a reputation as a playboy. I know the editing makes it look like all the hometowns are bad, which we know won’t necessarily be true but I do think it’s going to be a challenging week for him.

    I was dying to know how this season plays out so I read the spoilers but I seriously don’t know HOW it ends up the way it does so I’m searching for clues in each episode…seriously I have nothing. I’m so confused and agree with some of the other comments…maybe he really isn’t ready for a serious relationship, he just thinks he “should” be settled at this point in his life. This whole season is so bizarre.

    I look forward to your insight every week Ali! You’re always right on the money with your thoughts! 🙂 xox

    1. I agree-I didn’t read the spoilers, but I also think he is not ready and is just trying to settle down because he feels like he needs to at this point in his life. But I don’t see it lasting. I don’t see a strong connection with any of the girls-at least not strong enough for marriage!

  22. I am so confused by this season!!! When it started I felt like Arie was very genuine, but not I question that. He seems a bit like he is saying what he thinks he should be saying. I also want to know why such a big deal is being made about Bekahs age at 22, but Lauren is mature enough to be with a 36 year old….she is only 23??? I don’t get it.

  23. I agree on some of this. I think a lot of this season was poorly edited in the beginning. We saw so much of Krystal’s craziness and now she’s gone and it doesn’t matter, that we missed out on a lot of the talks and relationships developing. Arie even tweeted once that they didn’t air a lot of his meaningful talks. That being said, I do think a lot of the dates shown are pretty boring. I mean it’s better than doing a lot of excursions that you won’t actually do in the real world, but not a lot of talking going on that we’re seeing.
    As far as the kissing, I couldn’t get over Jacqueline breaking up with him while she continues to go in for the make out sessions. BUT I will say, Arie romantically kissing these women is better than past Bachelor/Bachelorettes skinny dipping at night and admitting to sleeping with another contestant early in the game (I love Kaitlyn, but I think that gets forgotten). Regardless, I don’t think Arie truly knows who he wants to be with at this point and I think we’re really confused because the past few seasons of both Bach/elorettes it’s been pretty obvious by now. They’re trying to make good TV with these edits, that’s for sure.

    1. FINALLY somebody said it. Do we all forget about past bachelor and bachelorettes and the sexual choices they made. All the guy is doing kissing these girls with passion. He’s trying to find his forever and you have to kiss a lot of frogs to get there. I truly believe he’s trying to do the right thing and falling for multiple women in the process. That’s what this is about and I can’t truly appreciate that. I must be crazy but I can see so much chemistry with Arie and Lauren yes they have awkward moments but don’t we all have awkward dating moments they just aren’t televised for all to see 🙂 I respect what everyone is saying believe me I had moments of confusion this season but I think he’s a nervous nelly and doesn’t always know how to handle the pressure at times. I find him to be super vulnerable and honest around Lauren so I’m rooting for them. Dating is hard whether you are on television or not so let’s extend some grace to Arie as he continues his Bachelor journey.

      1. I agree with you Michelle. I too see big time chemistry between Arie and Lauren. I think Lauren is strong, knows what she wants,and gives him just enough to keep him wanting more. The way he looks at her is like none other,and he always seems concerned about her feelings. He gives her a lot of attention. As far as the kissing complaints, every season since season 1, I’ve cringed over people kissing too much on the bachelor/bachelorette, especially when they know they are not picking these people.

        I see Arie with Lauren. I think he’s crazy about her.

    2. I’m with you on this. The focus on Krystal took away from the other ladies. They have focused a lot on the women who are NOT on the dates and have not shown enough of the dates.
      As for the kissing, I’m on the fence. But I did notice it looked like he was thinking about kissing and looking at lips during conversations! But I agree, I would rather see him kissing everyone than having off date escapades like past cast!

  24. I absolutely love your commentary. It is always real, honest, and genuine. Thank you! I also love that you nicely call him out on certain things he does such as lead girls on such as passionately kissing them minutes before breaking up with them! I also appreciated you highlighting the fact that the thong costumes were crazy. I always admired your straightforwardness and class as the Bachelorette. Thanks for the great read!

    1. Yes, true he kisses even as he is not seeing a future with someone, but he really showed the other side of himself when he refused to kiss Annaliese, even when she asked him to! He showed grace ( how could he know that she would put him on the spot like that?! ) and character ( that he does not kiss Everyone ) when he admitted to her why she would not be getting a kiss. It was an awkward situation to handle and I don’t know if I wouldn’t be sweating bullets under the same circumstances …

  25. Regarding the date, Jacqueline going home was good because I believe he would have sent her home anyone. Sienne, I never saw that connection. Tia, while I like her, I don’t see her and him together. I don’t think it was necessary for her to say anything to Arie about Becca especially this far into the relationship. Becca (with the short hair), I have never understood her and Arie. I am surprised she stayed this long.

    I think the kissing passionately and then breaking up with them is not cool, but it is Arie, so…

    I don’t think whoever he ends up with it will last. I think they are keeping the closeness and connection of Lauren and Arie away from us because they are going to end up together. They did this with Sean and Catherine – I never saw that happening.

  26. I dont get the Lauren relationship either. I dont get their connection or how he can be so in love with her. They dont talk, or at least they havent shown them talking. I really dont get it. I find this season so confusing too. I have no idea who he is “really” into and dont know if anyone he chooses will really end up being his wife.

  27. I do think that the strong connections are lacking this season. But when it showed Arie talking about Lauren at the end of there date, he looked genuinely excited and happy, saying how he is falling for her. I haven’t seen him look this “excited” about any of the other woman this whole season yet. He just truly looked like he was so happy to hear her be vunerable, which in turn caused him to open up to her and show his vulnerable side!

  28. Hi Ali! I love reading your blog every week but I’m actually here to comment on that white and blue dress you are wearing at the bottom. Wow! You look really beautiful 💜. Have a great week!

  29. I’m SO confused about the date he had with Lauren. I truly thought he was going to send her home, then says he’s falling madly in love with her, to her??? I was shocked. I thought the bachelor/Bachelorette weren’t “allowed” to confess their love before the final rose? Just odd. They seem to have zero chemistry or anything in common. I think she has a very similar personality to Emily, who Ariel fell in love with prior, so perhaps he’s reliving that idea of love? Can’t wait for hometowns.. That should be interesting!

    1. I totally agree about the chemistry. It’s so confusing as they’ve only been on two dates and have showed very little correspondence otherwise. He definitely has a “type” and Lauren fits the bill. I’m honestly not sure if he’s looking for a real connection or a trophy wife… this is disappointing because I was so looking forward to this season.

    1. Yes, I find him to be unauthentic.
      As so many have said he want to get married because he feels like he should.
      Him and Lauren are so boring!!
      I don’t like that he kisses the girls he sent home, it’s messing with their minds.
      This season is boring in general.

  30. You’re very wise Ali! I think every girl on the show will be confused by being sent home. I say that because they are all kissed so passionately.

    Isn’t Lauren only 25? Not THAT much older than Bekah!

    1. .. Oh and I feel like Arie has a “type” that he needs to bring home to mama and friends. That’s disturbing to me. His ex-girlfriend also looked very similar.

  31. Ali, Did you notice he was ‘chewing’ when he excused himself? I think he had something he couldn’t chew/swallow and needed to spit it out…..hope he told her the real reason later!

    Also, have the timeframes gotten ‘shorter’….because I just feel like the ‘first’ date shouldn’t be so late in the process, and looking back, I feel like it used to feel like you got more time….with your season, i remember the first one on one was the high wire, then some alone time with Lion King, a little alone time in Iceland….and then one on one in Portugal, it just seemed more natural.

  32. Kendall is the best! If she’s not the one in the end I hope she’s the bachelorette. And, I don’t see the connection between Arie and Lauren… I feel like I am missing something too. I guess we will see next week.

    1. I really HOPE she doesn`t end up with Arie, she is way to good for him! I would love to see her as the next Bachelorette!

  33. I feel like Arie was trying to get Sienne to end their relationship. He was asking the same questions he asks all the girls, “how do you feel about our relationship”, “do you think we’re progressing”, etc but the way he was asking them made it seem like he wanted her to realize they weren’t so he didn’t have to be the bad guy. I’m not a fan of Arie. I was excited when they were bringing back an older bachelor instead of pulling from the same pool but it hasn’t worked out like I thought it would. He’s just annoying

  34. Hi Ali,

    I’ve been reading your blog for a number of seasons now and always enjoy being able to reflect on an episode from a different point of view, especially given your experience as the bachelorette! Quite often you write what I felt while watching the episode. I’ve never felt the need to comment because most of the time I agree with you (which I now realise might have been nice to say in a comment as well).

    About your lesson this week and your comments about Ari’s kissing this season though.. I can’t quite understand why you (and many people reading your blog) find it inappropriate how Arie kisses all the women so passionately. I don’t see any problem with it. I’ve been wondering if it’s a culture difference (I’m Dutch). It’s not at all that Dutch people are known for passionate kissing (quite the opposite hah), but maybe in Europe sex is just considered less of a big deal than it is in the US? I feel like passion and love can be separate and can be up and down in the moment, meaning however Arie kisses the women in the moment he can feel something different when he’s by himself or with another woman. I don’t know how much sense this makes so I’d love to talk about this more with any of you to see why our opinions on the matter differ so much!

    I’d appreciate no judgment or hate though :)!

    1. Nice to hear this different perspective! I definitely think people in the US are more hung up about sex than in Europe and I personally think we are too comfortable with violence and not comfortable enough with sex.
      I think I agree with you!

    2. I don`t care if he is kissing a lot of the girls, while still trying to figure out what and who he wants. But I don`t get how he can still kiss the girls so passionately right before sending them home, by then he should have made up his mind.

    3. I agree with what Therese has said. The passionate kissing doesn’t bother me or even how much and how often. What does is him kissing them and following shortly after with a goodbye. He has to know he will be asking them to leave. It’s just so weird and would upset me.

  35. This season = boring. But I am still watching.
    Also my thoughts about last night’s episode – I’d hand you a tissue if there were any tears. Alot of single forced tears and the sounds of crying, but that was about it.
    As far as the kissing, when Arie has nothing to say or there is awkward silence, he kisses. It is his default. I don’t think he even realizes it. The women are beautiful and totally into him so why not kiss them.
    Sienne for Bachelorette.

  36. I think Arie is not the guy people (including me) thought he was. He is not very genuine and I think we can see that in tv. I think that he will choose Lauren in the end just based on her looks. This guy will bring us a lot of surprises, but don’t think he will last with anyone. Sorry for Arie fans, you should all wait and see….

  37. I still feel like there is not a lot to Arie. Like he’s not very intellectual. He kind of talks about himself like *he* would be the trophy husband and not vice versa? I feel like they picked him because maybe they knew the girls would walk all over him and he’d eat it up and there’d be drama when he couldn’t make a decision in the end. He seems really into Lauren for no apparent reason other than her looks. He seemed more natural with Sienne, right up until he dumped her for no reason. I think he may be interested in settling down, but he doesn’t know what he really wants. So he’s trying everything on to see if it fits. Maybe he can get cast on a soap after this. He definitely has the cheesy kiss down.

  38. I’m not he biggest fan of this season, but I don’t dislike Arie either. I also don’t necessarily agree with you on the kissing. Maybe we view it as a passionate kiss, but for him, that’s just the way he kisses. Probably hard for someone on the outside to decipher or have a strong opinion about.

    Clearly the rules have changed on the whole ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m falling in love with you’ lines, since you were the bachelorette given Ben told both Lauren and JoJo he loved them. I think everyone sees what they want to see … I saw a man that was waiting on pins and needles for her to open up and tell him how she was feeling and she finally did and his emotions got the best of him. Again, maybe not the way we would have reacted, but everyone is different. 10 people can sit and watch that and have 10 different opinions! It’s what makes the world go round! 🙂

    I hope he finds love! I think he has the best shot of doing so with Lauren. There is clearly much more to their love story than we are seeing! 🙂

  39. I was so sad about Bekah going home. I know that she’s young but she is one of the most mature people there. I think her reaction to Tia could’ve gone so many different ways and the way that she reacted showed her maturity, seriousness, and her true self.

    I really loved Bekah and Arie together. She brought out a side of Arie that none of the other girls did and he knew that. Just like he said at the end he talked himself out of it. Love is scary but you can’t go with the safest bet you have to go with your heart not your head.

    As for the other girls, I’m really confused why he kept Lauren and Kendall. Nothing against these girls but their relationship is no where near Tia and Bekah and even Sienne. I was surprised he kept them as he even said himself that he had the strongest connections with Tia and Bekah. Seems that he is not following his heart and it’s going to mess him up in the end.

    As for Tia, I understand her reasoning as to why she wanted to talk to Arie. However I strongly believe that if Tia had not said anything to Arie that he would have kept Bekah. I loved Tia but there was a little bit of fire in her that seemed shady. When she got the rose and it showed her interview, she acted as if she had passed a mission. I don’t know it felt maybe that she could’ve talked to Bekah about that first rather than Arie. Maybe she was a bit jealous and weary that she wasn’t going to get the rose and sabotaged Bekah? I mean in reality Tia is only four years older than Bekah. I really think that if Arie did not know about Bekah’s age that he wouldn’t have sent her home. He’s just looking at the cons rather than the pros. He’s scared and I think it’s a shame because I loved their relationship the best.

    1. I thought Seinne had one of the best exits. Pissed but classy, she told him she was blindsided and she told him why – without drama.
      He really scooted away, no extra *facetime* from our kissing bandit. I think he knew he was guilty of being misleading.
      Being direct is Not his thing – it looks like a lack of accountability and maturity.
      He’d be a fun dad, but a wonderful partner? Questionable.

      1. Hey Delyla,
        Arie told Tia *I wouldn’t harp on that* when she brought up Bekah M. I took that as his signal that Bekah was already cut from his list.
        Maybe they can bring her back in a couple years as Bach- ette, after she spins the globe a bit more (if she doesn’t become uber famous in the meantime – hmm, they’ll prolly have her on DWTS first – its a natural right?)

    2. These are my thoughts exactly, Deylya. 100%! Arie got scared of his connection with Bekah and closed off. She affected him and he couldn’t handle it. And poor Bekah…: feeling the shut down but not knowing what’s going on and flailing and becoming more desperate because he was completely gone at that point. Ugh, who hasn’t been there with a guy?! Or who hasn’t done that to a guy?! Seeing it played out on TV was so heartbreaking. Arie missed his shot at love because he let logic and head take over instead of his heart. We should always pick the one that makes no sense!…the last person we could imagine ourselves with! He was crazy about Bekah, and will think about that one for the rest of his life.
      And Tia is a spineless wimp who knew she’d lose to Bekah, so threw her under the bus. Jealousy at it’s worst. She couldn’t tolerate her own insecurity. She’s lame. Regardless…Bekah was saved from a boring frog-lipped Phoenix life, and will find herself greener pastures.
      This show is great because it reminds us of the tragedy of life. Not listening to our guts, missing opportunities, picking the wrong people. So human. We’ve all been there. But man this dude is a coward, not a cowboy. Hard to watch.

      1. *he’ll think abt Bekah for the rest of his life*
        Y e a h.
        Unforgettable, ( and uncomsummated.)
        After seeing Tia go home tonight I can’t help but think how much easier it would have been on everyone if he chose Bekah last week. Less heartbreak for Tia. A more interesting hometown for us watching. (And who wouldve blamed him for letting a 22 year old *go*?!)
        Tia’s crit of Bekah looks even more desperate now that she got cut. To lose to Kendalls, who’s first one on one date was a hometown…o u c h. Who would have believed.

  40. I was also shocked when he professed how deeply he was falling in love with Laren. I agree that he is in love with the look of Lauren and I can’t help but to think that maybe subconsciously that he still hasn’t gotten over what happened between him and Emily. I’m sure this process brought it all back for him. I have seen no depth with him and Lauren, so I’m baffled at his show of feeling for her. Let’s hope he figures out that you need more then loving someone’s looks for it to last a lifetime.

    Side note – Ari did indicate that he is was not sure of his self worth then it comes to intellect in last weeks show. Maybe he likes that he feels more in control emotionally and intellectually in their relationship and that is why he is drawn to her???

    1. This is true! I think he is intimidated by an intelligent, accomplished woman (Jacqueline, Seinne) and wants a more passive, soft-spoken, malleable woman by his side.

      1. I agree with this too. The other women challenge him. Becca called him a nerd (as a compliment). Bekah said that he didn’t like that she didn’t need him. Jacqueline couldn’t commit to moving to Scottsdale because she still had 6 years of school. Sienne and Tia (Ivy League and Dr.) ask thoughtful, meaningful questions. Lauren is passive and will just go along with whatever life he has planned. She’s easy, no risk. I’m afraid it will not be fulfilling in the long haul though and I’m sad for him if he chooses her for that reason.

  41. I honestly don’t believe Arie is the type of man who will be happy settling down. He seems way too much of a player to me. I find it very odd that he never seems to be interested in what the women have to say, but instead basically quiets them with a long drawn out kiss. Does he even have a personality or social skills? He is turning out to be a disappointment as the Bachelor. I don’t have a good feeling about how this all ends up. I think he’s very superficial.

  42. I totally agree that Arie is so hard to read… just to add to the lesson to women everywhere! Some guys like him are just sweet and romantic with EVERYONE.

    However, I do think his gut feeling is that he really likes Lauren the most. What he is basing it on seems to be primarily physical attraction and a gut feeling. But I would say she is his #1 crush right now. And Becca K. is the type of woman he thinks he *should* end up with in his logical mind.

    Regarding Bekah M.’s age: Lauren B. is only 25, so I don’t see that being so different compared to 22! Lauren is also very young. By the same token, Arie is still a bit immature when it comes to relationships so being with a woman in her 20s probably makes more sense than being with a woman in her 30s.

  43. My Husband was my first REAL SOLID love I ever had and I dated a few others before him. Even with the “experience” of dating a few other guys. I don’t believe that made me an expert on love. Love and relationship is something you learn your entire life. Marriage is beautiful and it’s hard work. I married when I was 22 and I was with my man for a little over two years before we got married. We will be married 11 years this summer. I’ll be 34 and he’ll be 37 this summer, as well. Even at 34, I am always wanting to grow more as a woman and a wife, as a human in general. I want to grow and learn until the day I die. So, when people put perimeters around age, specifically when someone becomes a legal adult, it kind of bothers me. Age and what someone is ready for or not ready for is so relative. I disagreed with Tia’s comment to Bekah but that is just her perspective on life and age, as I have mine…

    I see more of a connection with Lauren and Arie than ANYONE ELSE on this show. First of all, two people who love each other can be completely comfortable in silence with each other. Maybe Arie is comfortable with silence but there is nothing wrong with it. Lauren is being herself, she is on the quieter side and having adapt to certain situations that make her uncomfortable. I think Arie gets this now about Lauren and is more accepting of it rather than seeing it as a concern as he did in Paris. There is absolutely NO WAY we are seeing all of their dates and conversations. I think they are being edited horribly. To me they seem like they mesh together really well. I see them together at the end. I just wish viewers would see the love 🙂

  44. Is it just me or does this season seem unusually short? He has spent so little time with these women he has left. I feel like he has not spoken to any of the women about anything of importance to lead them to have a solid foundation and lasting marriage. Maybe the editing team just cuts that stuff out. I feel like he doesn’t know anything about these women and they don’t know much about him.

    Bekah M. needed to GO. I follow her on insta and her life seems like it would NOT mesh well with Arie’s from what she shows on her stories, etc. I think as far as Lauren goes, he is just very physically attracted to her and he is leading with that. They have no other connection, super boring, and very “vanilla”. He’ll probably end up with her LOL. He should pick Tia or Becca if he wants any chance of a relationship lasting.

    1. Yeah, it’s like two dates and I Love You – or Maybe I Don’t- Bye!

      I suspect the editors are blindsiding us!


    2. I disagree about Bekah. I was looking through Arie’s old instagram pics where he actually seems to have a personality, and I think they would actually mesh well. He seems young at heart and the Arie we are seeing on TV is not half of the personality that I think he has– which is why I think he and Bekah do have a connection.
      Lauren is definitely vanilla!

  45. Hi Ali,

    *2nd time writing this as I wrote a huge post and it didn’t accept my email then poof my comment was gone.

    So, normally I am nodding away agreeing with all your views when reading your blogs, but I have a few differences this time. I 100% think Arie is getting a ‘bad edit’, and I feel like the production team have jumped on the ‘not Peter’ plot and are making people dislike him/think his character is shallow/not showing his deep conversations. At the beginning of the season he tweeted a sarcastic post along the lines of ‘Glad they showed my in-depth conversations’, and I feel like that has carried on through the show. He also linked an interview he did last week on his instagram after last weeks show and it really showed his intellect, his feelings and that he really is in this for the right reasons. I believe they have focused on the Krystal drama, age drama, and all the drama in between and that has taken away the screen time of the deep conversations.

    That brings me to my next point – I wholeheartedly believe that they aren’t showing the whole story with Lauren and Arie. There is something so loving and connected between them, and you know what, sometimes these things go un-said, and you just know. I feel like Lauren’s relationship with Arie is true to real life situations in those first few dates and moments. She is nervous, but noticeably giddy and happy to be in his company. And I think the same goes for him, he is clearly nervous around her and its not just because he isnt sure where he stands and how she feels, I think its because he already feels so much for her and maybe that scares him. I also think this is why he walked away, that he was overwhelmed to hear those feelings and thoughts from her and was also so relieved but maybe didnt want to give too much away?! Whatever is going on with them, I believe there is a true love and chemistry between the two that isnt being shown but I think its sweet that they know the truth and what they really feel.

    Next comes the kissing debate! Props to Arie for being a great kisser (apparently). Even though it does seems as though his way out of an awkward moment/stuck for something to say is to have a passionate kiss, I think that is just his style of kissing and I dont think that should be judged (maybe he should have held back and not kissed every girl in what seemed like the 1st episode but if thats how he was feeling in the moment, then let it be). I do think that his kissing game gave him away tonight – did anyone else notice the way he kissed Bekah K and Lauren was different to what we have seen? It was a casual kiss here and there, a lot of ‘pecking’, and what seemed like genuine kissing – not so much a passionate ‘french kiss’. It came across to me as very natural, romantic and in the moment.

    I’ll finish on Bekah M. She has a deep soul, she knows herself and is so content and happy with who she is. I love their chemistry and how they are both truly happy in each others company. I was sick of the girls using that against her and talking about it with Arie (Also think she showed her maturity when Tia told her last night), and I think the tears came because she was over that being said over and over again! I feel like their was jealousy from the get go because there chemistry and connection was clear from the start! I think it’s easy to get caught up in other peoples story, and I think Tia panicked that she could be going home, so used that play which was very uncool and seedy. I think Arie and Bekah will continue to have a great friendship long after this show.

    Kels xx

    1. I really hope its just a bad edit. As a viewer, I would actually love more depth of the dates and less of the in between drama that doesn’t matter in the end. I don’t even think it makes good tv. But knowing why he likes Lauren so much or why he thinks his connection has fallen with Becca would make good tv. For me anyway.

      1. Harrison said we have to hang in there w Arie, perhaps they’ll deepen him up near the end…?

        I think Bekah M should have her own reality show. Traveling and Dressing and Dating w Bekah ( but she wants to be a performer, right?)

        I agree w Kelsi abt Tia hitting the panic button. Because she cared for him, but also because she didn’t want to Lose to the 22 yr old.

        And Bekah r e a l l y handled the Tia reveal (of throwing her under the bus) Brilliantly. It was the best I’ve ever seen. #Lemonade. Total props, and star quality.

    2. Agree agree agree! There’s no way they don’t have footage of him getting to know these women more and vice versa. I love this show but I think they’ve really started focusing too much on the drama to when the drama leaves, of course we feel bored with the other relationships that actually matter.

    3. I agree with the bad edit perspective. If you read Arie’s recaps on People, he always mentions the conversations and activities that didn’t end up in the episode that would have shown how the relationships developed. For some reason the show has decided to focus on just the kissing scenes.

  46. Interestingly enough, he barely kisses Lauren B.! With the other girls he’s like “we should talk more” and then immediately starts making out – with Lauren B. he seems to really be trying to get to know her more (even though we aren’t seeing any actually conversations happening)

  47. Here’s my take on Arie…..he doesn’t have a great, spontaneous personality, so when there is an awkward silence, he goes in for a kiss. And, to make matters worse, why the heck does he kiss the girls right before sending them home? He did this with Krystal, Bekah, Sienne, Jackie (well, she was making all the moves on him, while saying goodbye)!

    I think he has nothing to say in those moments and so he uses his kissing to fill in the gaps.

    Arie is so ready to be a family man, but I think he could have done something normal and found a good girl, instead of taking up a spot on TV, when he really doesn’t have the personality to carry it through.

  48. I actually like Arie. I don’t think he’s boring at all. I think there is a lot of editing being done. I felt like there was something missing when he was saying goodbye to Bekah. It was so abrupt to me, besides the fact that I was so surprised. They must be cutting out a lot of conversation between him and Lauren as well. I think she’s the one though.

    1. Yeah we are not seeing the full cut of all their dates and conversations. The show would have to be 5+ hours long per Monday and at that point, we STILL wouldn’t have all that happened LOL.

  49. I think for many guys, kissing passionately is a sign of the depth of their feelings or their loyalty but definitely not all men. It IS confusing to see it play out that way and it explains why all the women are so into Arie right away. They all think he’s head over heels for them too.

    I also agree with most of the posters that his “falling deeply in love” with Lauren is confusing. To me it seems like a rerun of Emily. I think he fell quickly with Emily because she was so beautiful and intriguing and in his mind, he thought she was out of reach. For whatever reason, I think he thinks of Lauren in the same way. I think he believes she is more beautiful/young than he would normally meet in his day to day life, even if her personality is a bit blah. To be honest, I think the fact that she comes across as cold or maybe standoffish at first makes him see her as more beautiful than he may think otherwise. He interprets that to mean she’s more of a challenge. Personally, I think the other women are equally beautiful, maybe even more so. Kendall is just classically beautiful (those eyes!) Becca K is stunning whether she’s wearing a $1000 gown or a t-shirt and jeans and barely any makeup (also those eyes!) Bekah M is adorable and youthful and should definitely be on TV. Sienne is just drop dead gorgeous. Tia has that southern belle appeal. I’m surprised he kept Lauren around to be honest.

    On one hand, Ari says is looking for someone who is independent, fun, intelligent but he is falling for the one person who doesn’t seem to be any of those things (It’s very Italian, Why is it leaning?) I’m afraid if he does “get” her, he will get bored because the challenge will be over and there won’t be the same substance that he might have had with the others who have more personality, independence, adventure. I have a feeling she would quit her job (does she still have one?) move to Scottsdale tomorrow and want to get married yesterday. At first, that may seem great but then what? She’ll get bored, he’ll wish she had friends, activities, interests. It was painful to watch her with the kids on the soccer date and to me that is very telling. He’s looking for a wife and someone to start a family with so that was an important test, not just how nice she looks on a make believe date.

    I loved the date with Becca. We got to see more than her funny, down to earth side and I loved it. You can tell they have a connection and love that is REAL. To me, saying you are falling for someone AND you really care about them is more what true love is about. To really care about someone will last you through the ups and downs a lot more than just thinking someone is hot. And that wall kiss. And when he was playing with her lip. Love them together.

    I appreciate when contestants leave if they’re not feeling it or if they are maybe not actually ready for marriage. Arie is taking this seriously so the women who are there should be too. That was brave of Jacqueline to do.

    Bekah M vs. Tia – I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, Arie was so physically attracted to Bekah, and (unlike what we’ve seen so far with Lauren) they do actually seem to have a deep connection too. She gets him. But the reality is that she’s not ready for marriage. She has a lot of living to do before she gets to that phase, especially with all the opportunities that are definitely coming her way now. If the other woman are seeing signs that this is just a competition, a free vacation or a way to build her “brand” for Bekah, then I think Arie SHOULD know. Even after knowing her age, he kept her around so he obviously wanted to believe her when she said she was ready. I think Tia was only telling Arie something he already knew in his heart was true. Bekah will be fine and Tia gets to continue on to hometowns. A win-win.

  50. I am beyond confused by Arie. The things he says and what he does don’t match up. I don’t know about you, but it frustrates me.

    I mean, take Jacqueline for example. He was kissing her passionately during her whole monologue about leaving. Then he says “come back to me if you change your mind.” Did he really mean what he said? And if that was me, I don’t know if I would be making out with someone who was trying to tell me that they wanted leave.

    And I was truly honestly surprised with Sienne’s date. I felt like she would go home, but everything seemed to go really well and just before they left the Day portion to the night portion that he was happy where they were and is ready to progress. But then he said just before the night portion of their date how the other two one-on-ones said they’re falling in love, so if she doesn’t exactly say that then that’s why he said no. Maybe I read into that wrong, but that’s how it felt. I know maybe they don’t have as much of a connection as others, I just felt the whole dynamic of what Arie was saying and doing on this date didn’t make sense. It was almost as if he was trying to make her say things to justify his choice to let her go. Or am I the only one feeling like that?

    And then there is Lauren. I just don’t know how to feel about them besides BORING! I don’t see the connection, and I felt like Lauren said she was falling because she wanted to bring him to meet her family. So does she really feel that way, and if she does why doesn’t she express it more? Arie says she is shy, but I don’t think she is acting shy. I think something else is going on. If you like a guy, you talk to him. You’re flirty and giggly, and say more than 2 words in between conversation. But when she does say something, he walks away…I’m sorry, but why? He was waiting for it. Then once he gets it, he acts like that. It’s weird. Is he just feeling so in love with her because of he whole Emily thing? I don’t know. So I just don’t get why he feels so in love with her, and why he can’t express the same with Becca. Especially when they seem to be more connected(I mean a lot of kissing was happening on their date, but I also felt like those two talk more than Lauren and Arie).

    I agree with you about Tia. I just took it as her feeling panicked and wanted to make sure she was still on his mind for hometowns. It wasn’t right, and I don’t agree with it. I just think that was her own way of dealing with the added pressure of the three-on-one date.

    I’m with you. I’m not hating on Arie or any of the girls. I just don’t know how to feel about this season anymore. So very, very confused.

    1. Seriously what a cheese ball! It seems like all the girls could do better than him would be settling if they ended up with him. HES A TOTAL BORE

  51. He is pretty boring with his cardigan sweaters and lack of fun stuff on the dates. I definitely think Kendall should be the next Bachelorette!!! Smart, beautiful, speaks well – I love her!! Glad Becca went home. That relationship seemed weird.

  52. Dude has full on junior high make out sessions with every girl, whether he is really into them or whether he’s going to send them home in 5 minutes. The first night he was making out with someone, and I turned to my wife and said “Wow! He must really like her already!” But who knows?

    And I agree…I don’t get the Lauren thing either. Maybe it’s editing. They don’t say a whole lot.

        1. Is your Mrs blogging with us, too ? Id love a husband wife blog – clearly I can’t get enough with *just* Ali 💑

  53. I’m still waffling over the Tia/Bekah situation. First of all, even if one’s intentions are good, talking about another girl/guy is ALWAYS a disaster. Always. I don’t necessarily think Tia’s intentions were malicious. Maybe they were. Maybe they weren’t. Where I waffle is on her telling Bekah about the conversation. At first I thought, “Good for you, Tia. You didn’t let Bekah get blindsided when she sat down with Ari, plus you didn’t twist what you said to him.” Then I thought it was a bit cruel to send her in to him like that. Then I thought it was probably the only way to keep the situation from spiraling out of control. Ultimately, I think I’m leaning towards Tia shouldn’t have said anything, but since she did, I think maybe she took the best approach. Though I confess, I was never a Bekah fan. I don’t think it is her age that makes her not ready for marriage but more the sizeable gap in their ages. Not impossible, but definitely brings an extra load of challenges into any relationship. Many comment on her maturity, but I think she acts exactly the age she is. We all think we’re mature in our early twenties. And we honestly believe it…until we take a look back from our thirties. But then again, I live in a college town, and not a day goes by where I don’t look around me and miss those “ignorance is bliss” days. Because it truly is *sigh*

    1. Glad you brought up the questionable-ness of Tia telling Bekah M .

      I think she did it becuase of the cameras. Thinking ahead, not wanting to look like she hid anything when they all reunite on Women Tell All.
      A preservationist, that Tia. (It had to be galling to see a young kid winning Aries favor.) The edit of her waving the rose – a bit immaturely, ahem- probably made her cringe.

      I’m w you on *youth*, too. It really is a special kind of immunity you don’t know you have, until it’s gone. I remember how I used to look at older people, some seemed so sad, or tired, and some just seemed too busy – or I didn’t notice them at all. Now I get it, they had miles on the battlefield, and I didn’t even know there was a war.

      So: escape is half the reason I watch the Bach. And figuring out human nature is the other!

  54. Wow, a lot of comments. Some good/some bad. Here is my thoughts. Jacqueline felt a connection with Arie but not enough for marriage. I think many of the woman when they leave the loss is not so much for the Bachelor but for the dream of what could be. I think she probably would have been sent home anyway but at least she got to do it on her terms. I also had mixed feelings about Tia’s comments about Bekah. Everyone should know by now saying negative thoughts about the other people doesn’t usually bold well for you in the long run. I wanted to like her because if Raven, but she seems more like the Raven that was on BIP rather than on the Bachelorette. As for the other Becca. Often when you get one of the first one on one dates you tend to loose momentum as the dates continue and sometimes you are having to play catch up. I agree with confusion of who he picks because the most of the relationships seem the same. I am ready for this season to be over and to know who the next Bachelorette will be. I still would love to see Kristina from Nick’s season but she seems to have distanced herself from the franchise. Ali will you be giving thoughts on your blog about the Winter Games?

    1. Good question abt Winter Games.

      (So far I am resisting.
      Addicted enough to this blog n
      Monday nights.)

      Haven’t seen Kristina around – I agree, she would be a great From Russia with Love bach- ette!

      Jacqueline may wind up on BIP.
      I thought she had a * love is pain* belief going on as well, separate from her feeling for Arie. Wise to leave.

  55. Hi Ali, Lauren might look a little like Emily, but comparing their personalities is a non event. Emily is amazing, and definitely wouldn’t just sit there like a wet blanket!! I’m sure Lauren can’t really be like this away from the camera,she doesn’t appear to have any emotions or personality,which is quite sad,as she is beautiful. As for the age debate, Bekah has a lot more maturity than most of the Women on the show,in saying that, I think she has way too much personality and love of life than Arie could cope with.
    Love💗 watching and following you and your gorgeous family ,looking forward to meeting the new little person. Molly is just the cutest 💕 Love from New Zealand xx

  56. I could not make it through all the comments, so hopefully this is not a repeat question: what if a 36 year old Molly brought home a 22 year old guy that she was serious about? Would your hair not seriously catch fire???

  57. I normally agree with everything you say except about Tia this time. I think she was so mature and just very classy about how she approached her concerns. I think it’s somethinng that had been weighing on her about whether Becka was ready for that type commitment. It was down to those three and she had to express how she felt. I loved that she went to Becka afterwards and confided in her about what she had said with Arie. She handled it all so gracefully, she did not at all come from a place of malice, like how Crystal behaved last week. I look forward to your blogs every week and your daughter is seriously the cutest !!!

    1. Tia was wrong. Bekah did nothing wrong. it was up to arie to decide. Tia was getting nervous, so she had to do something.I glad Bekah left, he is not worth it. heard he left the winner already and is dating the runner up. loser, he does not know what he wants at 36.

      1. I agree that Tia was wrong. Arie should be able to tell who is mature or not mature enough and she should have kept her mouth shut. I was really hoping she would go home. Bekah M was such a natural and although she might not have been ready for marriage, they seemed to have lots of fun together. I think Tia was scared she would not get the rose and plotted to make a big deal of Bekah M. Just my opinion. I don’t like tattle tales.

    2. I agree with you. Tia spoke her mind at what was concerning her – nothing wrong with that. She handled it very well. Nothing she said swayed Arie’s decision.

  58. Ali,

    Your post was right on. Was waiting to see what you would write. I think that you are right about the top two. Looking forward to see what happens on the home town dates. And I you watching the winter bachelor will you bio about that

  59. My friends and I were discussing Lauren last night and had a couple of thoughts. He must have walked away to stop himself from blurting out that he loves her.
    Also we think he is SO into her because she looks very much like Emily – other than that I’m not sure what he’s seeing, compared to some of the other ladies.

  60. The dates have been boring. This show was so weird, like parts were missing. Then for Arie to get up at the table like he was upset to come back & basically want to” put a ring on a finger” was soooo weird🙃

    Anyone going to watch Bachelors olympic games? I wasnt but I was suckered in with the commercial.It may be better than the boring Bachelor. If I want boring, I can just live my life. Lol

    What happened to fancy dates like in past shows?

      1. So how’s it go??!!

        I resisted the Games ..just saw Kystal expects to do BIP (she was interviewed by Ellen’s staff on Ellentube – worth a peek)

  61. I think he is definitely into Lauren because of her looks/being his “type,” and I just don’t see him and Becca K working out in the real world. It’s sad because the only person I actually saw him having a connection with was Bekah M, and not just a physical one. He’s said over and over how she’s different and he’s never dated anyone like her before which is GOOD thing because obviously it’s never worked out with the girls he usually dates! But I think he cared too much of what people would say about the age difference to keep her around.
    Let’s be honest, chances are he’s not going to marry who he picks in the end, at least pick someone you connect with and have a chance to be happy with outside the show. In 2 years when she’s 25 no one will second guess if she’s ready for marriage.

    That being said this show needs more diversity in its casting, not just ethnicity-wise, but just people from different walks of life and different personalities. ‘Cause let’s face it, this season was pretty boring. Even the resident villain can get predictable.

  62. I am SO FREAKING CONFUSED this season. I agree – I can’t read him! But I can’t read Lauren either. Both dates with Lauren, I thought went horribly. There was nothing there. No connection of any kind let alone love. What they’re showing and what they’re saying aren’t syncing up. I realize this could be editing to throw us off but, I don’t know… I just don’t see anything there! Not even chemistry, and he seems to have that in spades. I don’t know if that’s something that sets his relationship with her apart, but that doesn’t seem like a good thing. And yet he’s not only keeping her around, he’s giving her so much more verbally than the other girls. Falling deeply in love with her? Am I missing something?! They feel like two actors doing a read through without putting anything real behind the lines.

    I was actually surprised Jacqueline was still there after last week. There was a very clear cut moment during their date when they clearly both realized they wouldn’t end up together and couldn’t make it work outside of this, and then it’s like they both just ignored that realization and decided to just go with it. I really love her, but it was obvious they were in different places. Her going home was absolutely the right choice, but Arie say to come back to him?! That was pretty shocking, and talk about making it harder on her to do the right thing and leave!

    Bekah was too young for him and too inexperienced to be ready to get married. Tia’s choice to bring that up at this stage wasn’t a good idea. At this point, you really need to be focusing in on your relationship with him, and bringing up someone else and making your time together about them is a bad move this far along. I agreed with her. But I don’t think she should have said anything. Even Arie pretty much told her not to go there. Yikes. I like Bekah, and she is by no means immature. Just…not ready and I think it was clear that she wasn’t taking it as seriously as the rest of them. It was about moving on to the next stage. Tia has really strong feelings for him, but I don’t think he’s as into her and she’s into him.

    He didn’t have a strong enough connection with Sienne. Kendell’s adorable and fun, but I don’t think their connection is strong enough either. I think Bekah and Lauren are his top two as well, but although there’s more there with Bekah than with Lauren, that’s not really saying that much. They had that great first date, and then it just kind of sat for too long and went flat. Everytime he says, “I love that,” I just get this creepy vibe, like he’s saying all the right things, but when you can see how many women he’s saying them too, it doesn’t feel genuine. I think Arie wants to get married, and I think he’s really good at compartmentalizing the individual relationships – too good… No one should be that good at carrying on multiple relationships…

    1. I will add that it’s clear Arie WANTS to love Lauren. He was super vulnerable in their first one on one date. (I was shocked at the level of vulnerability he showed – I think that was his way of desperately trying to get her to open up and be vulnerable)

      1. I was thinking the same thing. He wants to have those feeling for her but I’m not sold they are there on both side. We will see.

  63. This has nothing to do with The Bachelor but I wanted to say that I see so much of Molly in you in this picture! I have no idea why I notice it more in this picture (maybe it’s the expression or angle) but it was my first thought when seeing your post.

  64. At first I thought kissing was his was of reassuring the women of his feels but at last few episodes when the women are really starting to have feelings I believe he is misleading them to believe he has a real connection with them. I can understand why some are shocked to go home they were just making out with Arie an hour ago. I also wonder if he does it to fill in the awkward silence. I feel the conversations are really lacking this season.

    The dates,

    Jenna is one of my top picks but I was nervous based on Arie’s interview on how things would go.

    I’m not a 100% sure about Lauren. Arie’s reaction was so odd when she told him how she was feeling. Almost leads me to believe he has strong feels and was caught off guard.

    Sadly I knew about 5-10 minutes into the date Sienne was going home. It was one of a few times I could tell Arie wasn’t really into someone.

    Group date, hmmm. Love Kendall and Tia. I like Bekah but I think she is at a different point in her life than Arie no matter the age difference. I think she could have fell in love with Arie but I’m not sure it would last.

    Three of my initial picks are in the top four! Miss Chelsea.

  65. This whole season has seemed so staged and fake to me. I feel like he spends all the time kissing because he doesn’t have anything to say! I don’t see him with any of these women! There aren’t any connections. All nice people just really flat this time.

  66. I’m confused by this season too. I can’t tell if the producers are trying to throw us off because most of the time we have a good idea of who’s getting the final rose.

    I thought it was odd that Arie walked away when Lauren said she was falling in love too. It was just so abrupt & then we didn’t see him talking to the camera or anything. I’m wondering if maybe he had an upset stomach or something that they didn’t want to share on camera. I know that sounds like it’s coming from left field but sometimes stuff like that happens especially when you’re traveling like that. Anyway just a guess.

    I always respect people who self eliminate too. These relationships go both ways & if someone isn’t feeling it they shouldn’t lead anyone on or take away precious time from anyone who really wants to be there.

    I honestly lost respect for Tia when she went to Arie about Becca. I’m glad she told Becca about it herself but I just didn’t think there was any reason for it. She was actually making me angry, part of it could be because there’s about a 20 year age difference between my sister & her husband. So many people had something to say about it, and I do admit I did have some concerns early on. However, there was this moment early in their relationship when I just knew he was the one for her, and that I would share that at their wedding one day. And of course I did. So that said I’ve been very supportive of Becca from the beginning. I also don’t think it was Tia’s or anyone else’s place to decide what Becca is or isn’t ready for. I feel like she felt threatened by Becca’s relationship with Arie & she let it get the better of her. I don’t think she’s a bad person or had mal intent, but it just made me lose respect for her.

    I was surprised that Kendall got a hometown given the fact that they haven’t really had a 1:1, but the way this season is going maybe she’ll get the final rose. I absolutely LOVE Kendall, and want to see more of her regardless.

    I think Arie did the right thing sending Becca home. I absolutely love her, but if he wasn’t feeling it he shouldn’t lead her on. I really hope to see Becca on Bachelor in Paradise or come back in a few years as the Bachelorette as you suggested in a prior blog.

    Hopefully next week will provide some clarity on where Arie’s heart is.

    1. I wonder if producers coaxed him to keep Kendall over Bekah to let Bekah do press leading up to DWTS, and expose us more Kendall for further franchise interest. Like you and Sharleen Joynt pointed out- giving a hometown visit to K without a one-on-one is weird.

      It also dawns on me how happy he must have been to do the two on one w Krystal, because he knew it meant not having to hear any goodbye conversation from her. Crafty kissy Arie.

      I agree that.Tia tarnished herself – makes Becca and Lauren look better, too.

      1. Oh yeah, meant to say: I think be r e a l l y wanted to go to bed w Bekah M.
        And: I really wanted to go to her hometown – maybe we’ll *get* thar on Her S💍season.

      2. Oh yeah, meant to say: I think he r e a l l y wanted to go to bed w Bekah M.
        And: I really wanted to go to her hometown – maybe we’ll *get* that on Her S💍season.

  67. Hi Ali!
    Love from Canada 🙂

    I know this isn’t bachelor related, but I am curious about the clothing you recommend from SHIEN. Do you find the quality is good? Or would you stick to designer names you recognize!

    Thanks for your time!

  68. What i love the most about this episode was… seeing my beautiful country on TV ☺️ Glad that ABC brought a bit of our Tuscany to all of you in the US.. or wherever you may be
    Sooo.. I think Lauren and Becca will for sure be his top two. His time with them was so different than that with the other girls.. also, as confusing as he is in general, he talks differently about the two of them. Like he kept saying his time with them was hard to top for the others etc.
    not sure I liked Tia calling out on bekah m. Either, however, she did have a point. It may be just editing but this episode it really seemed like it was more about “winning” than actually being with arie at the end.
    And the promo for hometowns?? Wow. I must admit, I heard spoilers on how this ends.. if that’s true.. well.. that’ll change my opinion of Arie and his readiness for love and marriage.

  69. I agree with everything you said. I also want to note that I don’t think it was appropriate of Arie to keep macking on Jacqueline after she was pretty clear about leaving. He’s a passionate kisser no doubt, but at the very least, leave it for the women who are interested and might make it to the finish line with you! It’s a little degrading to all the women who are “dating him” when he’s kissing a woman who is on her way out (basically to Ali’s point about making out with the girls passionately when he knows he’s letting them go).

  70. The ONLY reason I like this season is because my daughter (who is about Ali’s age) and my 2 DIL’s group text each other through the whole show and have a few laughs! Most of the texts are like “is this guy for real?” “he HAS to have herpes”, and “are you KIDDING me?” lol so I am getting some side entertainment out of it! I even read Reality Steve’s spoilers because for the love of GOD I just needed to END it lol

  71. Ok so are we gonna ignore the fact that Ali looks fire in the last pic she posted in the blue and creamy dress???? You look so stunning in that dress!!!!!!!

  72. I do think Arie is “ready” for love, but I just don’t see the LOVE of his life in the final 4. It seems like there really hasn’t been a front runner from the beginning so now that home town dates are here, it seems too soon. It’s almost like they need a few more weeks to develop stronger relationships that are strong enough to meet the folks and to lead to an engagement. Anyway, #teamMinnesota

  73. I totally agree about Arie and his kissing!!! Also, if anyone happened to notice Bekah M’s super cute Necklace from this episode, it’s Irina Victoria Jewelry and can be found at 🙂

  74. Ali , your analysis of the last episode was spot on! Arie has been surprising me with his passionate kisses to multiple girls ! Even for the girl/s that he was about to send home , it was like , let us make out before I could let you go ! It is so confusing !seems like he has strong , passionate feelings for different girls at different moments ! Has he recovered from the pain of losing Emily ? Not sure ! Is he ready for a life time connitment ! If he ends up putting a ring on one of the girl’s finger , I have no doubt he might in the end pull a Masnick ! His heart going back to one of the girls he sent home !

  75. Arie also left the scene once before on his
    last two on one date. Before he sent Krystal home, he asked to speak with Kendall and their meeting was not shared (unless I missed it). He then returns to table, talks to the ladies, and sends Krystal Home. Did anyone notice?

  76. I truly don’t understand this supposed connection he has with Lauren. She is so incredibly boring. I hate to be mean to her, but watching her is painful and I agree that it isn’t just bad editing. They seem to have nothing in common and their conversations go nowhere. I really think he just has an attraction to her that can’t be explained. Now, there are tons of gorgeous girls this season and she doesn’t stand out over the others, but he obviously likes something about her look. And, her look is similar to Emily and her demeanor is also reminiscent of Emily, so he clearly has a type. It’s just sad because he and the other girls are so much more interesting together and he is obviously forcing himself to make this work for some reason. If he does choose Lauren at the end (which I am guessing he does), I don’t see it working out long term because they don’t seem good together.

    1. I also wanted to say that I think Arie left after Lauren told him that because he was overwhelmed with emotion. I don’t think he thought she would ever get to that point and he was very sad at the thought of having to let her go. So, it shocked him (in the best way) when she said exactly what he wanted her to say. I think he wanted to happy cry and jump up and down, so rather than doing that, he had to take a moment to compose himself so he wouldn’t give the ending (and his real feelings) away too early.

      1. Just watched hometowns. Laurens mother gave a key insight when she told Lauren how she saw them as a couple…have you seen the episode yet?

  77. If I’m being brutally honest, Arie hasn’t been in love since he was on the bachelorette with Emily. Could he maybe really, really like (love) Lauren because she is a sweet, soft-spoken, blonde just like Emily? Just wanted to point that one detail out 😉

  78. The kissing that goes on this season is ridiculous I don’t know what’s worse arie kissing and sounding like he’s walking thru mud or him moaning when he kisses the girls ugh cannot stand it.I loved Tia hated to see her leave and honestly I thought they had a better connection to each other than him and Lauren but that’s my opinion

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