That’s right guys!!! I’m pregnant! I can’t even tell you how relieved I am just share this news with all of you. I don’t know if you noticed over the past few months, but I kept talking on Instagram story about how I was feeling off and not myself. The truth is, I was super tired and so sick from my first trimester! It was so hard not to talk to you about it and be open about it. So much harder than the first time I was pregnant. I’m not sure why that is. Maybe I’ve just found that through motherhood I’ve become so much more open and connected with all of you. Not just those of you who are mothers, but any female. Probably because I’m the mother to a daughter. And I’ve just been so open with all of you about my life through my pregnancy with Molly and through my first 16 months of motherhood, it was so hard keeping a secret from all of you! I almost felt paralyzed every time I got on Instagram story because I felt like I had this big fat secret that I was lying about. I hated it! Honestly, if I could’ve told you guys I was pregnant the day I took the test I would have! Well, I guess there’s no law that I couldn’t tell you. But let’s face it, it’s not exactly the recommended thing to do. Anyway, here and there throughout my first trimester I jotted down my feelings in the notes section on my iPhone. I found it therapeutic and it helped me get through the days feeling like I was talking to all of you even though I really wasn’t at the time. So I wanted to share some of what I wrote. There’s a lot so I’ll share the rest later. But here’s a start.
And yes, Molly’s face below is a pretty good way to sum up how I’ve been feeling. Pregnancy symptoms are no fun.
Oh one more thing, I swear I’ll get to my “journal” in just a second, but I want to say that I am fully aware of how blessed I am to GET to be pregnant. I am in no way suggesting that the discomfort I’m feeling in any way is bad enough that I would rather not be pregnant. I am thrilled to be pregnant and know how fortunate we are. So for those of you who are struggling, know I am here for you if you want to share your story. A couple of my friends are right there with you and I can only imagine the pain you may feel (this also goes for those of you who have experienced loss). This blog is just my outlet to share my story. But know I am here for you to hear YOUR story. xoxo
6 weeks 5 Days (October 8th)
I’ve decided to start journaling about my pregnancy systems. I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed and need some sort of outlet.
I’ve been extremely tired this weekend. Napped on both Saturday and Sunday. We took Molly to a pumpkin patch on Saturday and it got really hot while we were there. I just about passed out in the middle of the patch. I’ve also been very moody. I wasn’t moody at all when I was pregnant with Molly. But this time I feel myself going slightly nutty. But mostly the fatigue is killing me right now. I want more than anything to blog about all this RIGHT NOW! I want the support of my Ali Luvs Family! It almost feels silly to me that it’s a “rule” to wait to tell people. If something ever happened, I would honestly share it with all of you because I would need your support and wouldn’t want to feel alone. I dunno. Maybe it’s crazy that I’m even thinking that way right now. But honestly I feel a little crazy.
7 weeks 4 days (Oct 14th)
Am I seriously already showing?!?! I put on a pair of high waisted pants this morning and can’t believe it, but I’ve totally popped!!! Even my friend Ashley noticed right away (she knows I’m pregnant). I don’t think I started showing until I was at least 13 or 14 weeks with Molly. But I guess from what I’ve been reading that if you have babies close together your uterus immediately pops back out when you get pregnant with your second. And in general even if you wait a while to have another baby, if it’s your second baby you’ll show a month sooner. That’s just what I’ve read. But it seems true for me!
I’m kind of nervous because I don’t know how I’m going to hide it for four more weeks. In my every day life it won’t be too bad but I’m more concerned about when I’m on Home & Family (the show I’m on on Hallmark Channel). No one there knows yet and I want to try to keep it a secret until we officially announce. Maybe we announce at 10 or 11 weeks this go around? Instead of waiting until 12/13 weeks?
8 weeks (October 17th)
I’m really struggling today. I’m just so tired and so nauseous. Many of you have been noticing that I’m not on Insta story much these days. It’s because I feel awful! Everything I post I feel like I have nothing to say other than “I’m sooooo tired” and the few times I have said that, many of you started guessing that I’m pregnant! Ha! So radio silence it is. Kidding. I’m going to try to interact more, I just need to find the energy to do it.
8 weeks 4 days (October 21st)
When I was pregnant with Molly I also had nausea. But it was different than it is this time. With Molly, I remember only being able to eat dry toast and clementines. And while toast and clementines definitely make up some of my diet this time around, I find myself sometimes feeling so sick and feeling like the only thing that will make me feel better is eating more. So, needless to say, I’m eating a lot more this time than last time during my first trimester. I actually lost weight during my first trimester with my first pregnancy. This time I’m going up and down. I initially lost about 7 lbs in the beginning. Probably from cutting out alcohol. But it’s creeping back on pretty quickly. It’s because I can pretty much only eat carbs and fruit. Anything fried or with too much flavor makes me feel sick. So when Kevin and I cook at night we make our food two ways – one version pretty bland and one version with flavor and spices for him.
We were supposed to go to a Halloween event today. But I just can’t even muster the energy to shower never mind do my hair and make up and go to an event outside in the 90° weather in LA. It’s a bummer because I’m sure it would’ve been fun. But I just don’t have it in me these days. I also have a photo shoot with Instyle Magazine tomorrow that I’m super nervous about because not only do I have to hide my pregnancy from them (and I’m totally showing at this point), but I have to be full of energy and “on” all day long. I think it’s a 12-hour photo shoot day. And I know I know, poor me having to go to the photo shoot. But I’ll tell you this, I’ve worked a lot of jobs in my life and doing photo shoots all day long is honestly one of the most tiring things I’ve done.
9 weeks (October 24th)
I’m a living, breathing stereotype. I haven’t bought a jar of pickles from the grocery store in probably two years. Maybe even three years. And today when I was grocery shopping with Kevin, I couldn’t help myself but to pick some up. Since then I’ve just been eating them out of the jar. I didn’t have this craving at all with Molly. Maybe that means I’m having a boy this time? Who knows! But I can’t help but laugh at myself for eating pickles straight out of the jar while pregnant. Our first OB/GYN appointment and ultrasound is tomorrow! I’ll make sure to update this journal/ blog then!
My “new” 9 weeks (October 25th)
So based on my calculations, I was nine weeks and one day today so that’s what I’ve been going by. But since today was our first ultrasound! Yippee! We found out the baby is measuring exactly 9 weeks. So that’s why this is my “new” nine weeks. It was pretty weird to see the baby for the first time at nine weeks since when I was pregnant with Molly, I already had two ultrasounds by 8 1/2 weeks. But our little nugget looks great and has a strong heartbeat! In fact, I’ll go back in about 10 days to get a blood test to screen for chromosome abnormalities and as a bonus, to find out the gender! The test takes about a week to get back so in a little over two weeks we’ll know if we’re having a boy or girl! So crazy!
10 weeks 3 days (Nov 4th)
My sense of smell is out of control! I smell EVERYTHING!!! It’s hard for me to feed Molly because the food I make her smells so strong! And if she poops while across the room from me, I can smell it RIGHT away! It’s bizarre. And don’t even get me started on people’s breath. Ha! It’s so weird because this all just kicked in a couple days ago. Anyone else get super smell powers 10 weeks in?
11 weeks 2 days (November 10th)
We almost announced our pregnancy today. But at the last minute we both decided not to. I don’t know, it’s so weird because this entire first trimester I’ve been dying to tell all of you that I’m pregnant. However, now that it’s getting time to announce, we don’t feel ready. It’s almost like we want to hold onto this little secret for just a little while longer. I’m thinking maybe we will sometime next week. Because even though it doesn’t quite yet feel like it’s time, it’s also really hard to keep it a secret any longer since my belly is so huge! I honestly can’t believe I’ve able to hide it this long. I guess technically it’s still a little early to announce. Most people announce after 12 weeks or even 13 weeks. But I don’t think I’ll make it much longer than 12 weeks. Also, like I just said, I definitely can’t hide it anymore.
12 weeks exactly (November 15th)
We are announcing tomorrow! I’m full of so many different emotions right now. I’m excited and nervous and happy and even sad a little bit. I guess the sadness comes from letting go of this little secret we’ve been holding for the past few months. Well I guess it’s a pretty big secret! But I’m mostly excited. I can’t wait to connect with all of you and talk about this pregnancy.
12 weeks 1 day (November 16th)
We shared our news with all of you today! What a relief! And I feel like I can finally be open and honest with you guys on Insta story and open and honest with you all on my blog. I hope to get this journal I’ve been keeping over the past few weeks up on my blog soon! But with the holidays coming up I feel like it’s going to be kind of crazy. I will say however, my nausea kind of lifted today. Up until now, I felt slightly nauseous all day long every day. But I just don’t feel it anymore! I’m sure most of it was because of my pregnancy, but now I’m wondering if some of it was the anxiety of not sharing my news. It’s almost like as soon as I shared the news I started feeling better. Thank you all so much for all of your love and support today! It means the world to us! 🙂 Molly can’t wait to be a big sister!
13 weeks 2 days (November 24th)
Thanksgiving was yesterday. We didn’t do too much. I made a small meal for Kevin, Molly and I and we mostly just hung at home the whole day. My dad is coming to have a Thanksgiving dinner with us in a few days so we’ll see some family then which will be nice. However, remember how I said in my last entry that my nausea had gone away. Well, not exactly. I don’t feel sick all day long anymore, but I almost always feel sick after a full meal. I think I need to stop eating full meals and instead just snack throughout the day. And I’m still feeling so tired all the time! I’m lucky that Kevin is such an incredible husband to me because he lets me sleep in every single day that he has off of work. He goes to work at 4 AM every day and on the weekends he’ll wake up at 5:30 or six with Molly just so I can sleep in. I feel bad, because I want to let him sleep in since he wakes up so early all week long. But of course he won’t have it and wants me to get as much rest as possible! I’m so lucky to have such a solid partner to do this whole life thing with.
Before I go I want to share some of the things I could not live without this 1st trimester.
I’m A Big Sister Book – I will explain in a future blog post why this book is so important to me. Basically I used it to tell Kevin he was going to be a daddy AGAIN! But it’s a long story and this blog is long enough. Ha. SO I will share that story in a blog post next week!
$19 Leggings – These aren’t maternity leggings. But I just wasn’t ready to wear maternity clothes 8 weeks in. Ha! So I pretty much lived in these leggings.
Fiber Shell Pasta – Ha. It’s true. It’s basically all I ate for a few weeks during my 1st trimester. And I choose to believe the fiber made me more regular. I had HORRIBLE constipation when I was pregnant with Molly and I’ve barely had any this time around. Oh and sorry to talk about food and constipation in the same paragraph. Ha!
Smooth Move Tea – I also credit this tea for keeping me more regular this time around 😉
Anyway, I’m gonna wrap up this little mini journal of my first trimester because I want to get it up on the blog in the next couple days to share with all of you! I’d love to hear your thoughts. For those of you who are pregnant too, are you going through the same things that I am? I was very happy to see on Instagram after we announced that many of you said you’re due around the same time as I am! That makes me feel like I have a little tribe of women to go through this with. And if you’re not pregnant right now, I know many of you can relate to everything I just wrote! So let’s talk, mamas! Why does the first trimester have to be so hard on us? And why is the first trimester, which is the hardest trimester for many, the time where we have to keep it a secret and act like everything’s fine? Did you keep it a secret the first trimester? And if not, who did you tell other than your family? Or did you not even tell your family? There’s so much I want to discuss with all of you!
And don’t forget to enter my $100 gift card giveaway HERE! You have until tomorrow morning to enter because I am announcing the winner on my blog tomorrow 🙂