THANK YOU!

Happy Monday everyone! I really wanted to write a blog post today to thank those that sent me a DM or commented on my Instagram post on Friday! For those of you that don’t know, I just did some Instagram stories talking about how I felt a bit off lately and lonely because we don’t really have family in LA with us. We do have Kevin‘s brother and his fiancé Jill which is great. They’ve been such a huge help to us, and my dad does live a couple hours away, but lately I’ve just been feeling lonely. I get caught in the rabbit hole of watching other peoples Instagram stories and seeing them surrounded by loved ones, friends and family. And I start thinking about my own life and how I’m alone with Molly most of the time. It’s such an ugly thing to compare yourself to others. It ultimately will always leave you feeling empty. But I’m human, and I can’t help but feel sad when I see other people surrounded by family and we don’t really have that right now.
 
Anyway, I’m a bit tired this morning so I’m probably not explaining myself well. But the point of this blog post was just to let you all know that I spent the weekend really lifting myself up. I stayed in pajamas all day on Sunday which was really nice. I had to work at Home & Family on Saturday, but when I got home I made myself some tea, threw on a cozy sweater (because it’s finally cool outside here in LA!) and snuggled in bed with Molly, Owen and Kevin. And it made me realize, that even though we don’t have a lot of  family here with us in LA, we do have each other. And my little family is better than I could’ve ever dreamed of.

  1. OVERSIZED SWEATER | 2. MIRRORS ON WALL | 3. COMFORTER BEDDING | 4. HEADBOARD | 5. COFFEE CUP
 
So I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for supporting me and being there for me. Know that I’m here for all of you too! I really try to make it a point to comment back on almost every comment here on my blog. So if you have something you need to get off your chest, know that I will read your comment and do my absolute best to respond and be a support for you.
 
I hope you all have a wonderful week. Love you guys!
 

P.S. I can’t help myself but comment on my sweater before I go. Ha! I tried my best not to but it’s just so cozy and perfect for Fall that I just had to tell you guys that it’s totally worth spending a little bit more on because it’s one of my absolute favorites!

 

  1. OVERSIZED SWEATER | 2. MIRRORS ON WALL | 3. COMFORTER BEDDING | 4. HEADBOARD | 5. COFFEE CUP

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91 Thoughts

91 thoughts on “THANK YOU!

  1. Awe, I know the feeling Ali! We mostly just have our friends in the area and while our families are a little over an hour away its rough at times! I know an hour seems like nothing but I am sure you understand the struggles of traveling with a toddler! Glad you turned around your day with snuggles from your family! Those are the best!!

  2. Oh boy do I know that feeling. I live in Canada, close to Toronto and my mon lives in Florida. Its been so hard, especially because I’m pregnant with my first child! As exciting as it is I get my days where I just feel sad.

    1. Your baby will bring you so much joy but I feel you on the distance. I’m in CA and my mom, brother and sister are in MA. Have you considered moving? It’s something we are considering in the next 5 years.

      1. Ya I would move but my finance’s family lives around here and our friends. Hopefully once our baby arrives we will see each other more. She is coming here once the baby is born for a couple weeks.

    2. We moved th the Bay Area this past January for my husband’s job (which is a great job and he’s doing great) but both our families are back in North Carolina and I’m definitely feeling the distance now that I’m expecting our first child too. It’s just weird not being able to see either set of parents on the weekends or have the moms to do baby stuff with like we used to when we lived in the same town so I totally get it!

  3. I understand you completely. My situation is a little different, most of my friends/family are so busy and have other people in their lives as well, that its hard to get together. And its sad seeing all other families together all of the time on social media. You, Kevin and Molly should plan a fun fall outing! It will help you get out of your funk!

    1. That’s great idea! We are trying to stay in more to save money since we are moving soon. But maybe staying in all the time is what has me in a funk!

      1. I get that too. My husband and I have two boys. And as much we need to save money, we try to do something with the kids just to get out a little. Staying inside makes you go stir crazy! And of course as soon as I get to bed at night, even if I am exhausted, my mind races and I cannot sleep!

      2. Ali I love you! You are so realistic. Sometimes you can be surrounded by friends and still feel lonely. Its a funk and being a new mom I go through it so much more. Were all gonna get through it everntually!

  4. Life is hard and becoming a mother can change a lot of things. Friendship dynamics change, other mom friends aren’t available at the drop of a hat to come have a drink when you’ve had a rough day and family members can get busy with their own families too. On those lonely days it’s easy to get into a funk, and we are all entitled to those days – but at the end of the day its your sweet little family that reminds you how blessed you are 🙂 Hang in there!

    1. All my girlfriends out here had babies around the exact same time and it changed A LOT for us. We are all so busy that we barely see each other. I guess that’s just a part of life. But yes, I am so grateful for my little family 🙂

      1. My daughter chose to be a stay at home Mom. She has friends that take turns planning a different park to go to. They enjoy their time and the kids get to make new friends 😊 As much as we love our children we need girl time! You are blessed with a wonder family ❤️

      2. Ali, I love your blog and fashion sense! How do you balance social life and being a new mom? My husband and I are thinking of starting a family next year, but I am fearful of the changes it will bring in my life. I am scared of being isolated and losing my social life. How do you make time for that? We don’t have much family close, either.

  5. I wanted to send you a quick thank you right back! I so appreciate how honest and real you always are. I enjoy reading your blog & Instagram posts not only for the wonderful, affordable fashion advice, but because you make me feel better for having similar feelings that I’m sometimes nervous to tell others about. Even though I am so lucky to have my family close by, I still sometimes feel lonely and a bit off. I’m experiencing some major changes in my life, and it can be overwhelming. Anyway, I just wanted to say THANK YOU for being you!

    1. Awww thanks Laura. I appreciate you saying all of that. I’m sorry you are going to a lot of changed right now. I feel you. So I am! And change us hard and scary. But hopefully will we both come out stronger on the other side of all this change.

  6. I can totally relate with this post!
    I live thousands of kilometres away from my family and life long friends, and have just a couple of true friends where I live now.
    It’s hard to be by yourself most of the time (hubby works crazy hours and I am at home raising our 2 months old baby until he turns one) and that your baby can’t feel the love and warmth of your family and friends.
    But I eventually come to the same conclusion you made: they are the world to me, and everything else can be remediated it over time.
    We will bring family over, visit them, try to make new friends, etc.
    You are not alone! I think we ALL have those feelings every now and then.

    1. I agree. I knew others were feeling that same as I am so that’s why I felt compelled to talk about it. Thank you for coming to my blog and sharing YOUR story and feelings. xoxo

  7. Oh I know the feeling.. I immigrated to the USA from Vancouver Canada in 2012 (my husband is American). Moved myself and at the time 9 year old daughter to Minneapolis MN. I had been used to having ALL my family so close by all my life and suddenly I was alone.. I knew this would be an adjustment but took me over a year to get used to. In 2015 we decided to move to Oregon to be closer to family and was tired of the cold Minnesota winters. Now we have about a 6 hour drive instead of 6 or so hour flight (my daughter and I are both not a fan of planes) I still will always miss family. For years my sister and niece lived next door back home and I’d have them over for a big breakfast or dinner or just to hang out with the kids. My daughter and niece are really close as well… I was always really close to my grandma and back in summer 2015 she passed away and I was not able to attend the funeral. So many things that makes me miss being close in proximity to my family.. This really hit home for me. Thank you for your blog post.

    1. I’m so glad you guys moved closer!!! But still a 6 hour drive is a lot. ANd I was very close with my grandmother too. So I completely understand. xoxo

  8. We moved hours away from all family a few years ago, and I still struggle too. We just started fostering to adopt two little boys so that has helped. It gets better over time!

  9. I feel you, Ali…. We don’t have any family near us, and it’s tough. I lost my mum when I was 19 and am not close to my dad. My husbands family
    live a few hours away. I feel like when we see his family, my hubby and I are so grateful for a babysitter, we end up having a date night and not spending time with our visitors! I too get lonely, but so, so lucky to have amazing friends. I make sure my days are filled with play dates and fun times. So refreshing to see that you guys are just a normal couple- so many “celebrities” put on a picture perfect image, and it can be deceiving. Really admire you xx

    1. I actually had a play date this morning with a friend which was really nice. I wish we did them more often. It’s just hard because everyone is so busy. And no one has a perfect life. I have to remind myself of that as well (because it seems like people do on social media)

    1. Make sure you have an updated version of the app. And the stories are on the very top of the screen when you open the app. Click on the circle with the persons picture.

  10. I completely understand! My husband, daughter, baby girl and fur baby live in Portland while both of our families live in SoCal. I absolutely get lonely and wish I could be around them more but we know we can provide a full life for ourselves up here too (and afford to buy a home in the near future). I try to remind myself that friends can be family too. I wish you all the best! Thank you for sharing your sweet family and life with all of us!

    1. You are totally right. We have DEAR friends that are like family in San Diego that we are actually going to see this coming weekend. I just wish THEY lived closer.

  11. Hi Ali! I can definitely relate. I’m a stay at home Mom to four little ones and even though I am never alone (ha!), I can’t help but feel lonely when I’m constantly taking care of everybody else. It’s exhausting when you don’t have other adults to talk to. I do have my parents close by which has helped me keep my sanity! It does get easier as they get older and gain some independence. My oldest (8yr old girl) is a great helper 😊

    1. I guess I’m never alone either (always with Molly) and Kevin is around a lot. I guess I meant to say that I wish we had more connections. But I’ll just have to make it a priority to reach out to friends and make new ones too!

  12. Ali, I literally cried to my husband about this same exact thing yesterday. We have a 17 month old and we moved out of state 4.5 hours away from all of our family and friends in August. My husband works really long hours and since taking this amazing promotion he hasn’t been able to take weekends off either, which leaves me and my daughter alone basically all of the time. We have luckily started taking some mommy and me classes and met some amazing people but it’s just not the same as having your best friends and family around. I can 100% relate to feeling lonely when seeing everyone else surrounded by family and friends, especially with a little one and this time of the year when their are so many festive things going on. I just wanted to write to say I’m totally in the same boat as you and fee the exact same way. It’s tough but we’re so lucky to have the little families we do! hugs from a far!!

    – a former MA resident as well! : )

    1. Hey Nicole. I’m glad you confided in your husband. It’s good to talk it out. I agree that I’m sure it’s because it’s this time of year. And this is the first year we aren’t going home to see family because we need to save money. And because we might be moving right around the holidays.

  13. Thanks for opening up Ali! I’m in a similar place with not living near family. Though my husband and I don’t have kids yet I hope we can move closer to extended family or make time for fun visits once we do have children. Thanks again for sharing!

  14. Thanks for sharing! I completely understand how you feel. I moved to Washington 7 yrs ago and all my family is over 1200 miles away. Our daughter was born July 10, 2016 and it’s difficult not having them here to share memories, help, etc. Even though I talk to my parents and brothers daily, it’s just not the same. Also my husband doesn’t have family here either, so we literally have nobody. And to top it off we just found out we are expecting #2 in June. Which is so exciting but does make me sad because it’s just another memory for family to miss out on. I think this time of year, with holidays coming makes it especially harder.
    Anyways, just wanted to say I totally understand your feelings and I appreciate you letting me express myself as well. You have such a beautiful family, please keep posting pics of that sweet baby girl.

    1. Thanks for sharing Nikki! It helps me too to hear everyone’s stories including yours. Makes me feel not alone as well 🙂

  15. I completely understand Ali! I live in Tennessee, my mom in Spain, and I have three sisters (Atlanta, Dallas, Paris) and a brother in Houston, so I do feel very lonely at times. I have a little boy (15 months old) and he’s my little companion! When my husband is not home we just try to keep busy so that it doesn’t affect me that much! But it’s tough!

  16. A wonderful gal who machine quilts was explaining to our group to enjoy ourselves in the quilting process and she had a quote that I’ve used in all aspects of my life, “Comparison is the thief of joy” I’m new to Instagram but like Facebook, I’m sure most people only show the good stuff. Everyone has “something” Its okay to feel like you do and it sounds like you had a weekend that you needed. Blessings to you and your family

  17. Do you have a local mom group mearby? I’m beyond grateful for the group I found in my city (not too far from you) called My Postpartum Tribe. My family is almost an hour away (thanks, horrific LA traffic) so the relationships I’ve formed with local mamas has saved me! Luckily for me and my little, this group is super active and usually has one or two events a week so I get some adult time and my 14-monther gets much needed toddler time. Things can get lonely as a SAHM so I kinda built an honorary family around me (and hubby and daughter). I hope you can find your Tribe, mama!

    1. I started at a mommy and me class about 14 months INTO the class(it was an ongoing class). So all the other women were bonded already so I feel like I’m a bit of an outsider. But I hope to join other new classes soon

      1. I started a women’s group in my area called United Sisterhood. I felt exactly the same as you. Many very close friendships spawned from it but sadly none for me. I watch those ladies on Facebook and feel like maybe I had a purpose for them. We never know what God uses us for. The group has 3500 women in it with new ones coming in weekly. Impressive for a small military area with so many transient people.

  18. Ali, I love your posts. I don’t always comment but trust me I look forward to them. 🙂 I love that you are so real and open and honest about your life. Can you do a post about your decor in your home? I love your decor and would love to see more of it!! Oh…any how in the world do you keep your whites looking so white? LOL

    1. Hi Lil! Thank you for reading and I’m so glad you commented! I love to hear for you guys! And almost EVERYTHING in my house is Living Spaces. I went to town there when we first moved in. I am going to redecorate with new things when we move and I hope to do lots of posts about that!

  19. Hey Ali!

    I totally understand. I live in Redwood City, CA with my husband, who travels quite a bit for work, and our 10 month old daughter and 3.5 year old fur child 😉 While my husbands parents are local mine live right outside of Philadelphia, PA. I’m very close with my family, especially my mom, and this has definitely been one of biggest challenges in my life.

    I never imagined starting my own family and not having my mom right there with me for support, and I too spend quite a bit of time alone with my daughter. I find I struggle the most right after they leave from a visit. It usually takes me a couple days to stop feeling sad and lonely.

    To feel better I really try to focus on the love and support I DO have nearby in close friends and my husbands parents. I also feel that ultimately it has helped me become more independent and confident in my own ability to be a good mom and make decisions for our little family.

    You’re doing a fantastic job!!
    Hugs from NorCal!

    PS. I’m an original fan of yours from The Bachelorette 😘

    1. Two of my DEAR friends live in Redwood City. We might even go there for Thanksgiving. Such a great area. I lived in Palo Alto for a few years (and SF). And yes, it’s always hardest after a visit for me too.

  20. You are such a great role model. I really enjoy your Instagram and blog. It feels very real. I have a new baby and so often have gotten down looking at others social media and how seemingly “perfect” their life is – but have to remember that what you see isn’t often reality. I appreciate that you have your “brand” but do share your real self and life. 😊 much love!

    1. Thank you for seeing both side of me! My “brand” and the not so pretty sides of me! Both sides is what makes all of us so great.

  21. Aw Ali, I totally understand, my twin sister lives 10 hours away from me! I have other family in the area, but I miss my sister. I treasure the times we’re together, quality time. I hear you’re tired a lot, I use to be and found an amazing product! Can I share the product with you?

  22. Thank you for sharing your story. I have actually been laying in bed all morning watching Home & Family feeling just worn out and down in the dumps. I have been taking care of my mom who has breast cancer that has spread to her bones. We are extremely close and I’m scared to death of a future with out her. I have no idea what I will do with out my mom. I do know that in order to take care of everyone, everything, and working full time…. we need time for ourselves too. It’s ok to be sad and it’s ok to lay around and do nothing. As long as you get up the next day, brush it off, and kick butt again. Family is everything!! Hope you have a good Monday! Hugs!!!

    1. I’m so sorry to hear this Nicole. I’ll be thinking about you and your mom. Sending you so much love!!!! Please give her a hug for me. HUGS

  23. Hi Ali
    I really like reading your blog.
    I think we all feel lonely sometimes, but we need to be thankful for what we have 😀 and you have the cutest family 😘
    Have a great and healthy fall
    Cheers
    Navit from Israel 🇮🇱

    1. I always find international perspective interesting. Through traveling I learned that American happiness is very different from the rest of the world. A lot of countries take the “ups and downs” as they come. They know some days they’ll feel lonely. They know some days they’ll feel great. However, it’s a very American concept that we should be happy 24-7 and that if we aren’t then something is wrong and we need intervention ASAP. I am all for seeking help and striving to improve our lives daily. But I try to keep in mind no matter how much I achieve (“when we get a house with a backyard..” “when we live somewhere with seasons…” “when we make more $..” “when the kids are a little older..”) there will always come those days you’re looking forward to other boxes being checked. It’s apart of life in general. It’s really unfortunate the expectations that we’ve put on ourselves every day for how we should feel. I also teach Chinese kiddos online every day and have first hand experience with how a whole other culture operates and it also helps to put things into perspective. The Chinese fill their schedules up so much that it’s silly (note, never use “silly” with Chinese, it translates as “stupid” to them!) for them to sit and reflect about being sad. I’m not saying avoidance is right either but overall the American expectation is very skewed.

  24. Love your blog Ali and I totally understand how you feel! It’s hard not to compare our lives to others especially when we can see others lives lived out on Instagram, Facebook, etc. I have lost both parents and my only sister and as far as family it is only my daughter and I and our sweet dog Allie;) (I’m a single mom). It can get lonely at times (especially around holidays) but I try my best to focus on all the positive in my life! Much love to you and your precious family!

  25. Ali,

    I can only imagine how you are feeling! Though I do not have children (yet!), as the only one of my best friends and siblings who does NOT have children, I am currently going through a different kind of funk. All of my relationships have changed so much (not for the better or worse, just change) with every marriage and child and it sometimes makes me sad. I try to remember that this is life and my siblings/friends are so incredibly happy but we all have those moments of insecurity and sadness! Good to know there are women, with and without children, who are dealing with the same things. Your blog helps bring us together so thank you!

  26. We moved from Silicon Valley to Seattle to be close to family when I was pregnant with our son (now 2). Though we live about an hour from them, we still see everyone once a week and I can’t imagine what life would have been like without that. We had to shift some career stuff around to make it work, and ironically I’m far more successful and happy in my career now than I was when I “thought” I had found my dream. That said, we also have a parents group here in our neighborhood with all the kids born around the same time frame and because we live inside the city, we are able to see our friends with kids the same age at least once or twice a week. You mentioned that your friends all had kids at the same time, have you thought about making a mom’s text group? Just having that could be super helpful – and help foster those crucial relationships you feel like you’re lacking. Several of our mom friends don’t have family near by but having the support system to be able to shoot off a text about sleep schedules or just saying “anyone else having the terrible twos at 15 months?!” can make you smile and feel less alone. It really does take a village. I think Ali we actually have some friends in common from my days back in Silicon Valley, so please feel free to email me if you ever want a humorous voice in the void to chat with about all things baby. My kid is slightly older than Molly, but not by much, and I fully relate to the unbelievable life shift that comes with motherhood. (moving, home purchases, all the million decisions that come with that, supporting your partner, alternative work schedules – all my life!) xo, Cady

  27. Thank you for sharing Ali! I totally feel ya–We have raised our sweet daughter away from family and it was definitely lonely. She just left for college (wow!) and looking back, I guess I would say if you’re not going to move, just spend the money to see them as often as possible. We went through most every milestone without my family. And this was before Facebook and social media, so I was printing and mailing pictures (which I rarely had time for since I work full time).
    Being a parent is really hard!
    We’re all here for you 🙂

  28. I totally understand how you feel Ali!! I love reading your blog! My husband and I also live in LA but our families are all on the east coast. I am pregnant with our first child (a girl!) and I’ve definitely been feeling the loneliness and isolation lately especially since I’m not currently working. I’m worried that I will still feel like this even when the baby comes in April since I will be a stay at home mom for awhile. We have friends here but it’s just not the same! My mom is coming to visit this week and I could not be more excited. After reading your blog post today, I feel better – I’m not alone! Thank you so much for always being so honest and relatable to us all!! Have a wonderful week! : ) xo Kelly

  29. Thanks for sharing! I love that you pointed out comparing ourselves to others leaves us feeling empty. My husband and I have recently started trying to have our first baby – and it’s not happening as quickly as we hoped. Of course that means I’m noticing EVERYONE else getting pregnant with ease. Its difficult to open up to others about, and whenever I do I get the ‘it’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen response’ – different from your scenario, but lonesome all the same. I am sure there is something in my life that others look at and wish they had, it’s difficult, but essential, to find joy in the things we have. Always enjoy your posts, but this one felt very raw and relatable.

    1. I just wanted to respond and give you some support with TTC. I felt the exact same way about everyone getting pregnant around me! My husband and I tried very actively for 1 year and then completed IVF and we now have a beautiful healthy 6 month old daughter. When we were TTC we heard it all, just like you are hearing now. Everyone says such wrong and unhelpful things!!! They think they understand but they just don’t. What helped me was thinking about how every woman who gets pregnant didn’t know it would happen until it did. I read a quote that said “the moment you are about to give up is right before the miracle happens”, and that also helped me. I also liked reading some of the TTC message boards with other women in my same boat. Just hang in there and know you are not alone and it will work out! My hubby and I say we just needed a little help from science. Also if you end up needing help from science too, don’t believe the negative stuff about IVF – it is not bad at all and so worth it! These kinds of experiences make us women so strong and it is preparing you to be such a great mom. It’s such an emotional roller coaster. You will get to the other side and be writing messages like this! 🙂

  30. It’s so refreshing reading your blog. My family is a 3 hour flight away from me. I have 2 young daughters and having my loved ones away makes it tough especially with the holidays coming up. You’re not alone. Thank you for the reminder that sometimes we just need to be thankful for what we do have!

  31. You’re not alone sista! I moved out of state when I married my husband because of his job. I’ve had to rebuild my life here and it’s not exactly easy making friends at our age! My son is 17 months and he takes up all of my time after work so I find that I don’t always want to put in the effort to go out with “work friends” or whoever. It’d be so much easier if my family and friends lived close by and I could just see them when I want to. They say having a baby changes everything and when we got pregnant we were over the moon and all like *bring it on!*. But now, I feel the distance and experience the daily little things that are hard. Like not having my mom to watch him so I can run to the store, or bringing him over to my sister’s house so he can play with his cousins. Little things like that are hard because I want that closeness for him just as much as for myself.

  32. Thank YOU for sharing this Ali! It makes me feel not alone to hear that someone that I look up to as having such an amazing life that I yearn for (loving husband, beautiful child, job they love) say that they too sometimes feel down and compare their life to others. I’ve been struggled lately with feeling discontent with my life and took a bit of a social media hiatus. As much as I love keeping up with everyone, scrolling my newsfeed was stealing my joy and making me play that destructive game of comparison, in turn making me feel like I wasn’t “good enough” because I wasn’t at the place in my life I envisioned for myself at 34. I was concentrating so much on the fact that I’m not married and don’t have kids yet, that I was overlooking all the beautiful things that I DO have in my life! As a dear and wise friend once told me, “comparison is the thief of joy.” We are all on our own paths, and it is important to not compare your path to anyone else’s, and to stand in yours proudly.

    Thank you for being vulnerable with us Ali. Glad you found joyful moments this weekend with your sweet family! XO

  33. Ali – girl, let me start off by saying… I am so sorry! And you have the sweetest soul, because whenever you say something that’s bothering you, you immediately say something positive because I’m sure you have such critics out there that would say, “your life is perfdct.” So, I’m sorry and thank you for being so candid all the time. I have a 2 year old girl and my husband travels Monday-Friday, every week, across the country, for work .. so I get what you’re talking about. Getting into the groove of mommyhood in general took a long time for me. You kind of have to reframe your mind into thinking “hey, I’m not alone! I have Molly and Owen.” And even going to a coffee shop or to Target gets you smiles from adults or small convos with adults, and I have found that those little things help immensely! Hang in there, Mama. You’re fabulous 🙂

  34. I completely understand!!! I live 5 hours from my entire family. My husband and I have 2 year old twin boys. I also work from home. So I totally get feeling off and sometimes lonely. My sister visited this weekend with her kids and I had to hold back tears when they walked out the door yesterday…. 41 years old and holding back tears. 🙁 But you’re right, I wouldn’t change it…. I love my boys to the moon.
    Hang in there girl!

  35. Hang in there! When Molly starts in a mom’s day out or preschool, everything will change. You meet and hang out with all her friends and the moms and they will all become instant family. Your world will open up in ways you can’t imagine. There are so many more moms out there that aren’t with their families than are, and they’re all looking for what you’re missing too.

  36. I seriously could have written this myself! My husband and 15 month old baby lived in Brentwood and we had to move to Dallas for my husband’s job and I get SOOOO lonely! We have zero family here. We have made friends but it’s just not the same. I miss being able to go to my moms house for dinner or even be able to drop the kiddo off on a Saturday with them so we can catch up on chores at home. It’s so so so hard not having family here and with a baby it makes me even more sad. And it breaks my heart that my little one has so many cousins the same age in California and New York, and yet we are stuck in Texas. We are going to try to move back to California or New York to be closer to family eventually bc it’s been so so so hard on me.

  37. My husband’s family is all close to us which is great but my family is about three hours away and it bums me out when I see us doing dinner with our newborn and my in laws and not getting those last minute occasions with my parents so I absolutely understand! My husband is also gone some nights for hockey practice and my close girlfriends are about 90 minutes away so I can feel lonely too. Thank goodness it’s almost time for Hallmark Christmas movies, they always make me feel happy.

  38. I really needed to read this today.. My mom passed away December 25, 2004 and even though it’s been almost 13 years it never gets any easier. Paisley Kayte, my five year old daughter, is home sick today and it’s days like today that make me super sad that she is gone. So Thank You for reminding me of what I Do Have! ☺️

  39. I definitely know how you feel. I definitely feel lonely, because of the same thing too. My family is 4 hours away and we have no family here. (Like not even an uncle or aunt or distant relative) I bring my girls everywhere with me and it can be exhausting. (Which I think adds to my loneliness)
    My husband works hard for our family and works lot so I have the girls by myself 90% of the time.
    I am finding it hard to get back into the work force because daycare is scarce and I have no family to jump in to help me out.
    I do get a tad jealous seeing and hearing my friends dropping their kids off at the grandparents, having family dinners etc.
    I definitely try to remember that no ones life if perfect and we all struggle with something even if it’s not apparent at first, but don’t get me wrong I still feel envious! I think it’s only human nature.
    I do try to go to playgroups and meet new people. I have quite a few friends, but I have recently met some women who are in the same situation as I am and somehow it’s comforting to have a friend who understands what it’s like.
    I have started to do family photography and cake making as hobbies for friends etc to keep my mind busy and as a creative outlet! It’s something I enjoy doing so it fills a bit of the void of not having family around.
    I hope you feel better and keep your chin up!

  40. I can’t tell you how much this post resonates with me. We live in North Carolina and we have a daughter who will be 1 year next month. Like you, we have zero family with us – my whole family and friends are up north in Michigan and I feel like they’re missing her grow up into this beautiful human I am so proud to call my daughter. I often feel lonely as well and left out when they gather for Sunday dinners or football tailgates at our alma mater. I struggle with being content in the now and holding on to every current moment and your point made me feel so much better. Embrace what you have and be thankful for the beautiful family you have created with your husband. I actually had to give up social media for months because the comparison was killing my soul. Thank you for this post – it’s so nice to know I’m not alone in feeling this way! Xo

  41. Hi Ali
    I understand how you feel. Keep being the honest, sweetheart that you are.
    Hope it helps knowing I feel like we’re friends, along with the many other people here that care about you. 💛

  42. Totally get it, Ali! We live in Los Angeles too, and don’t have any family here! Everyone lives in Texas, Arkansas and Florida!! So being is near to my heart. Sometimes I wish I just had someone to adopt as family to have Thanksgiving and Christmas with! lol. Hang in there. It gets better…sometimes. (((Hugs)))

  43. Hi Ali! I went through the same feelings several years ago. My husband & I moved to CA from IL 12 years ago because of a job transfer for my husband. We didnt really have concrete plans at the time how long we will live in CA. My parents actually moved to CA a year before we did which was great. Im an only child so I considered (still do) my friends as my family. I missed my friends I left in IL soooo much. My in-laws & my husband’s family were also all in IL.

    We went through being home sick after being in CA for a couple years. It hit me even hard after my 1st son was born. I wanted to move back to IL sooo much & be with my friends & other family. For a few reasons, we couldnt move back. Then we had our second son a couple years later. After a few years, we met more people who became our “family.”

    We still contemplate on moving back to IL, but mostly because of the high cost of living here in CA. However, I feel more settled in CA now especially since my boys are now in elementary school, that I actually dont want to move anymore 😬 I still do miss my friends in IL & still wish that we are sharing experiences with our kids together. We’ll see what the future holds.

    Hoping you will find comfort at some point. Thank you for sharing your story. Take care.

  44. I compare myself to other families too.. we have our parents about 1.5 hours from us, but we don’t see them on a regular basis, and I don’t really know why. My husband works away for weeks at a time, which means I’m a single mum most of the time. His parents only want to see us when he’s around (interesting), so that kind of limits the time the kids have with that set of grandparents.

    My parents have made the effort to come to me many times as I didn’t want to drive the distance with 2 little ones in the car, so that has helped a lot. Still, it’s not like they live close enough to help out with little things, or even babysit, so it’s just me most of the time. It can be lonely, but I have some good friends close by if I need them. Even seeing friends is hard, as it’s hard to coordinate our times to find something that suits, especially after they went back to work, and I didn’t.

    I have a lot of support offered by people but they are busy with their own families and lives, that it’s never something I consider asking.

    I hope the kids get to know their grandparents during the next few years, but they aren’t the type of kids that run up and hug people so it’s like starting from scratch each time.

    Families are complicated, but I think we just need to make the best of what we have, right? At least we have things like Facebook and FaceTime, to bridge the gap a little.

    Thinking of you!
    Asti xx

  45. Awww, I lived like that for five years. Me and my husband with a 3 year old a new born were living 4 hours away from my family where we moved for my husbands job. It was lonely and very challenging as it is very hard to build trust with someone enough to trust them to babysit for you when you really need it ! The last couple of years living there got a bit better as you slowly get used to it however eventually an opportunity came and we moved back to where my family and friends were . It’s been now almost 4 years since we came back and I am so happy. However when I look back at our life then , it really made us such a tight little family and I can definitely say that I was involved in every little moment, milestone or hardship in my little once life which might not have happened If we had more choices (grandparents babysitting). You never know where life might take you in a few years, so keep your head up and remember that there is always something positive in each and every situation we are in. Sending you lots of good vibes and hugs

  46. Ali,

    Love your blog and your family. Molly is adorable.

    I can relate to your post I have no family my Dad passed away 3 yrs ago and my Mom when I was 15. I have my husband and my 3 beautiful girls but it’s hard. I get in a funk and cannot get myself out at times.

    Thank you for saying we all are Human and sometimes just need a break and to just snuggle.

    Love ya

  47. Loved reading this ❤️ Me , my daughter (Molly):)& my hubby just recently moved to Colorado. Leaving all family & friends in Illinois:( brother & sister in law are here , but yes it does get lonely !! I work from home too, which can make it even harder . I to have been in the dumps about the same thing! So reading this today lifted my spirits a little 🙂

  48. Awe, hugs. People tend to show the best of their lives on social media. You know we all have our highs and lows and in betweens. We need to count our blessings and be grateful for what we have, and try to avoid dwelling on what we don’t have. My mother died young, and I lost my father 20 years ago. Since I didn’t have any siblings, I don’t see any family other than my immediate family (husband and 2 sons, one son is away at college). I have the best bestie, but she lives 6 hrs away. But I am happy and very blessed. I find that doing something unexpected and nice for someone else gets rid of the blues. You are beautiful, have the cutest personality, have a loving husband, cutie pie daughter, and loving pet. Plus you are a celebrity. May the sun shine on you, and lift your spirits, XO

  49. Hi Ali,

    I know exactly what you are talking about. My husband and I moved from Canada to USA and are thousands of kilometers away from family and friends. I used to get lonely and would hang out with people out of desperation, but I realized the right people would come to my life at the right time. For a while I was ‘friends’ with people I had nothing in common with and slowly started appreciating my peace and time alone with hubby. My husband and I grew so much closer as a result and I rarely feel that void nowadays even though I don’t have a lot of connections. I do miss my family like crazy though. Mom and dad keep getting better as I age, or they have always been great and I have just started realizing it. Either way I wish they were close. Sending you a warm hug.

  50. Hi Ali, God bless you and your loved ones, I love ur blog , you are so true to yourself and that’s rare. Anyways, to make u feel a little better is that I live with my husband and my two toddlers in Oregon and all of our friends, relatives, family are overseas, so so far away, and it’s just so hard making silly genuine friendships after marriage and kids, I wonder why. Anyways , I could so relate to your content! At the end of the day we all have somethings others don’t have . So being grateful is the key.

  51. Thanks for posting this, Ali. I really look up to you and all you have come to be over the past few years!

    My husband is gone half the month every month (he’s a pilot)- so even though I have family and friends close by, I often feel like I live in an alternate universe because our schedule is so wacky. It doesn’t help that I’m the only married one in my group of friends so I have a tendency to feel extra left out sometimes 🙁 What’s worse is we just started trying to have a baby and his schedule couldn’t be even more unhelpful to the cause. I find solace in I have a roof over my head, a steady job, a loving husband and family. But it’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling alone sometimes.

  52. Hi Ali!
    I love reading your blog 🙂 I’m a 21 year old from New Zealand and I totally know how you’re feeling (minus the baby hehe). I live away from home and study in a different city and I find it really difficult being away from those I love! I just remember that they’re always there, even if they’re not super close.
    Sending hugs from NZ 🙂

  53. Hi! What size do you have in the sweater? I love it!
    Also- I follow you on IG and I did the same mommy and me class as you, both with my firstborn and then my twins. Brings back memories!

  54. to make you feel better, I live in CA and my family in Iran. it’s a 24 hour flight all my family members ( my husband avd 2 children) need visa to fly to Iran, the ticket is over $1000 / person!
    So even though I feel how you feel there are so many of us that dont get to fly back home or see our families every few years.
    I relate to the loneliness! I miss having my best friends around, and going to my mom’s house for lunch on a weekend but that’s life!

  55. I so understand— especially with the Holidays coming it’s hard to see big family celebrations when you aren’t surrounded by family. We have lost both my parents & my husband’s mom in the last 3 year’s. We each only have a brother & neither is married right now. We have 2 boys, 9 & 11, and I feel bad they aren’t surrounded by cousins & family on the holidays.

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