Postpartum Depression- A Guest Blog by Amy Davidson

Hey guys. Today on the blog I wanted to take an opportunity to spread awareness about postpartum depression. I feel extremely fortunate that I didn’t experience postpartum depression after I had Molly. However, one of my dear friends Amy Davidson did and is bravely sharing her story. Amy first confided in me about what she was experiencing shortly after her son was born at a friends bridal shower. I remember her telling me that her son was the best thing that ever came into her life and how much love and joy she felt having him in her life. But at the same time, she couldn’t understand why she couldn’t stop crying. She told me all of this through tears. I remember feeling so heartbroken for her and wishing there was something I could do to help her. Since then, Amy has been very passionate about opening the door to conversations about postpartum depression. So I want to give her an opportunity here on my blog today to share her story…

My Struggle with Postpartum Depression. By Amy Davidson

Postpartum depression. How does that make you feel when you read it or say it out loud? I feel like it’s a term that people are getting a “little” more comfortable with, but I also believe it’s a term that scares people. You don’t hear it very often, and if you are the one with postpartum depression, you tend to feel incredibly alone. My postpartum depression after giving birth was one of the most intense experiences that I have ever gone through. It hit me hard- emotionally and physically… It didn’t make sense. Nothing really made sense. I was looking at this gorgeous baby boy who was exuding nothing but love, and I could NOT STOP CRYING. Now I want to be clear, my postpartum depression had nothing to do with Lennox and our connection. He and I connected instantaneously, thank you, God. I know that this may be the case for some of you mamas out there, possibly you had difficulty connecting with your newborns. And that is 100% OK. We have never met these little beings before, so sometimes it doesn’t happen instantly. And that’s ok… Looking back, the only way I can make sense of things is to realize the snowball effect magnified everything I was feeling. I loved being pregnant. It took us a very long time to get pregnant and when I was carrying Lennox, I felt more alive and vibrant than I had ever felt in the past. I had a fairly easy pregnancy and I really think it’s because getting there was such a long road and my gratitude was off the charts. I did not take that for granted, I knew I was very blessed. My heart goes out to all of you mamas who had challenges with morning sickness or the slew of situations that occur during pregnancy. I mentioned the snowball effect, and what I mean is it was like one thing after the other kept happening. First off, Lennox had to be induced at 37 weeks. I was not ready, not at all. Like I said, I loved carrying him and growing him inside my body. I wasn’t ready for that time to be over. I felt ripped off and I felt like it was too soon. I had to get Pitocin and in my opinion, Pitocin is the devil. After 11 hours of a challenging labor, I ended up in a C-section that I prayed my entire pregnancy I would not have. For some reason, it felt so inhumane to me. So in my head, my baby was being cut out of my body early, ending the experience that I had grown accustomed to loving so much. I knew how to carry Lennox inside of my body, I didn’t know how to be a mom quite yet.

Once he was born and cuddled into my chest, everything felt right in the world. I remember him nibbling on my nose and it was the most connected I’ve ever felt to another human being❤️ Those first few days were magical and I started to accept what would be our new journey. It was about three days later where it started to turn again. I had difficulty breast-feeding and that just really hit me like a ton of bricks. I so desperately wanted to have that experience and it wasn’t turning out the way I had hoped. During this time, my husband didn’t really understand- that was something I wished people had talked about before I had given birth. Why didn’t any of my friends tell me how challenging it could be with my husband? Why was it until after the baby was here and the challenges started happening that people started opening up about it? We should tell our pregnant friends that there are possibilities for some challenges within their marriage after the baby arrives. I’m not saying all couples go through this, but I do know that the majority of my friends struggled at one point or another with their husbands. I think it’s just because bringing home a new baby is so intense and I don’t know about you, but we had no idea what we were doing?! We actually sat on the couch when Lennox was maybe six days old, looking at each other and laughing because we couldn’t believe the hospital actually let us take home this little human being!!!👼🏼 But you figure it out, don’t you? Somehow you know how to be a mama or daddy. It blows my mind! Our instincts are so extraordinary. I know now that I am doing something right. I don’t know how I got here, but I do know that I have a happy little boy who truly lights up any room. THAT reassures me that I am a good mama. When I question myself, and I do it all the time, I look at Lennox and how happy he is, and I know I am doing something right.

Please join me in being open about postpartum depression. I truly think there are so many women among us that need support and may not feel comfortable reaching out on their own. My doctors saw the signs of my postpartum depression, so if you see a new mama who can’t stop crying that’s your biggest clue. I took control of my situation and it was the best thing I ever did. The first step was acknowledging to myself, my husband and my doctors that I needed help. I followed my doctors lead and let them put me on medication, knowing that it would help me out of my darkness and support me in a time where I was feeling helpless. I also started going to therapy to help work out what was going on in my mind. My therapist helped me understand that so many women get postpartum depression and that I was definitely not alone. And finally what really supported me as a new mom was joining a baby and mommy group. It was a class that my son took from 5 months old until he graduated at 18 months. I’m still friends with these moms today and no matter what topic comes up, we are there for each other with advice and support.

I’ll leave you with this, I never knew how strong women were until I became a mom. I am more proud to be a part of this club than any other club I could have imagined. I look at my own mom in a completely different way now. I am proud to be a mother, and I’m proud be a mommin’ right alongside you. I hope you have a lovely day and know that you are doing a really good job. Raising babies ain’t easy!




I want to thank Amy for being so brave and sharing a story here on Ali Luvs. Since writing this, Amy has written an update on her blog I encourage you all to go check that out to see how she’s doing today and how life has been since battling postpartum depression. And I want to take this opportunity to open up the comments section of this post for us all to have an open discussion about how postpartum depression has affected our lives or someone in our lives. My hope is that the comments serve as a sounding board for people to open up and hopefully lift each other up! Let’s make this a safe place where we can all help each other.




49 Thoughts

49 thoughts on “Postpartum Depression- A Guest Blog by Amy Davidson

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this post. I am currently struggling with post partum mood disorders, and I found myself nodding my head (and tearing up a bit) reading Amy’s words. It’s definitely something not talked about enough. I still haven’t opened up to a lot of my friends and family about it. So every post like this matters! ❤️

    1. Thanks for your comment Kate. I hope you find the strength to talk to your friends and family about it. You need their support! Sending you so much love.

    2. I too am hoping you feel comfortable to reach out for help. We mamas have to stick together. Thank you for reading my post. 🙏🏻 Good luck! It calms down. I promise.

  2. I have a long history of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. While I am in a MUCH better place than I was even 5 years ago, I still take medication and go to therapy. I am pregnant with our first baby and PPD is already on both my psychiatrist and psychologist’s radar. I did an early screening a few days ago and I do fall in the “high risk” range. Its definitely caused me some extra anxiety but knowing my therapist is on my side and involved in my life has eased my mind quite a bit. I know if it happens I will not suffer alone.

    1. Thank you for sharing. Congratulations on your pregnancy! When are you due? So glad you already have support in place!

    2. Congrats!! I wish I had prepared myself better just “incase.” I think that’s so smart. Please rest assured knowing your team will help you thru “if” you battle PPD. It may not happen. That’s a possible intuitive too 🙏🏻❤️

  3. This post really resonated with me, thank you for sharing. I experienced some of these feelings as well. Especially the spouse part. I used to say to all my friends, why didn’t you warn me. It almost felt as if my life completely changed and his stayed the same. (Even tho I know now that’s not the case) I was resentful at times. Talking to others was what really helped. Knowing it wasn’t just me. I learned so much during that time.

    1. I’m so glad Amy’s words helped you. I know she posted an update on her blog. Maybe that will help you feel less alone too.

    2. I hear ya sister! Now you know how to help your girlfriends. Thank you for reading. My update might be of help like Ali mentioned. ❤️

  4. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I suffered from ppd after my second son was born prematurely and had to be transferred to another hospital. I did not get to see him for two days and then had to pump and dump for three months due to recurring staph infections where my c section incision was. The snowball effect analogy is exactly what happened to me. It’s so good to know others who went through it! He is now almost two and I can’t get him to stop nursing and is honestly the happiest laid back kid ever! Thank you for making such a welcoming community!

  5. Amy, thank you so much for taking the time to share your story! I also had to deliver my baby girl at 37 weeks and ended up having to have an emergency csection. I truly had such a hard time accepting the fact that things didn’t go as I planned, and like you, I felt ripped off. Her delivery was also frightening.
    For too many minutes, I thought we lost her. Her birth was nothing like I had planned or dreamt of. I immediately fell so in love with her, but her birth and our story pained me for far too many months. It wasn’t until I delivered my son this past March that I felt healed. I had to have another csection, though my goal was a VBAC. But it was ok. His birth though scheduled, felt so magical. And like that, I am yet to look back on my daughter’s birth again. I hope you have found the same peace! What a beautiful boy you have! And he is so lucky to you have!

    1. Mallory, thank you for sharing this. Made me tear up. I’m so glad you have found peace! And you now have two wonderful children! xoxo

      1. Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.
        You are awesome in writing. but dear we always have to look for a cure..
        heres what i found. Fight depression and
        Get social.
        Leave the hell habit of self-talking and self-advise, for a while.
        Tell him to read motivational stories, watch inspiring videos,
        Adopt a healthy lifestyle,
        Meditate and calm his mind.
        Relax his neurons, go for a diet change.
        Eat the important superfoods and practice yoga regularly this will help him to concentrate and focus his energy to bring out positive results.
        if you find it beneficial you can know more at

    2. Wow. What a story. An emergency c-section sounds so scary. Thank god both babies were delivered healthy. I can’t imagine how unbearable those few minutes were. You are a strong mama. Thank you for sharing🙏🏻

    1. Oh my goodness Jamie. I truly cannot even begin to understand what you must be going through. Sending you so much love and a big hug. Hang in there love.

    2. Oh my goodness. I am so incredibly sorry. Please seek help if you are not feeling better by yourself. It was the hardest but best thing I’ve ever done. And therapy. So many tools may help you. I am so sorry. Sending love🙏🏻🙏🏻

  6. What I learned is that PPD can happen anytime within the first year! I was the happiest ever for the first 12 weeks… It wasn’t until I went back to work full time, trying to lose weight (so much pressure to bounce back), eating healthy which is a lot of planning, breastfeeding/pumping at work (OMG), while paying for daycare $, and training for a marathon that I had PPD surface. I couldn’t do it all. Don’t take on too much at once.

  7. Thank you so much for sharing,
    Amy and to you, Ali, for providing her with a sounding board. My little one is two months and it took me some time to realize I needed help and to be open about what I was feeling and thinking. I didn’t want to admit that this precious gift that I fought so hard for was throwing my emotions into a tailspin. But I am so thankful that I sought help and had the support of my family and friends. Amy is right…we need to be open about these issues plaguing women and support each other! Thank you so much again for sharing!

    1. It’s amazing how many stories sound similar. I completely understand what you’re saying and am happy to hear you sought help… We all need to keep speaking out about PPD. Supporting each other does wonders🙏🏻

  8. Love her honesty! I dealt with severe PPD with my first child and it’s definitely not talked about. After taking medication and getting counseling, I dealt with it and overcame it. There’s hope if you have PPD!

  9. Thanks for sharing Ali and Amy. Ali I love your blog. 💗 I can very much relate. My husband and I took a long time to get pregnant and suffered miscarriages. We then got pregnant with boy/girl twins. And it was one worrisome thing after another. Ended up having to deliver at 33 weeks via csection because they were worried our son would be stillborn. I always had this image in my head of instantly holding our baby/ies when they are born. And both of them were whisked away to NICU and it was 2 days till we finally got to hold them. I was happy they were healthy but struggled afterwards. Could hear mommies in their rooms at night with their babies in the hospital and all I wanted to do was hold mine and couldn’t while they were in NICU for a whole month. I would just cry. Couldn’t understand why it took us so long to get pregnant and then all the worry after as well. The part where Amy said she loved being pregnant and felt so grateful hit home, I as well just didn’t feel ready to deliver yet. And yes my husband and I struggled at first when we got home as well. Just trying to figure out how to keep 2 tiny humans alive and a schedule of some sort. Big hugs to Amy and all those that struggle. It does get easier and helps when you have very supportive friends and family. Don’t be afraid to tell someone and ask for help. We are so in love with our little sweet peas and everyday feel so blessed. 💗

    1. Oh my goodness. What a story. I can’t imagine what you must have been doing thru. Thank god the babies are healthy and happy! In the end, when we look back, that’s the most important factor 🙏🏻❤️❤️ Thank you for sharing. Amy

  10. So happy to see this.. of course not happy that anyone has to go through this but happy that people are sharing! I had no idea, after my first baby that it would hit like a ton of bricks. Crying all the time.. my poor, wonderful husband. I am pregnant with our second son currently and feel so much more ready to take the steps necessary should that wave crash again. Love to all the mamas out there struggling and those supporting!

  11. Another very common perinatal mood disorder that goes unnoticed is PPA. It’s just as common as PPD. So it’s racing thoughts, worry, inability to sleep. It’s so very common! These mood disorders should definitely be talked about more bc they are so much more common in mothers than we think. There is help out there and a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope all mamas know that. ❤️

  12. Thank you so much for bringing light to this subject, Ali, and thank you Amy for being so open about it. I had heard about PPD, but never in a million years thought it would happen to me. I also can relate to the snowball effect… I experienced such trouble nursing my son and I always envisioned myself having that experience. When I knew it wasn’t going to work out for us it really broke my heart and the PPD almost fed off of that sadnness, guilt, and shame. It was really just the perfect storm and I felt that no one, including my husband, understood what I was going through. The anxiety and depression was so real all the while I had this beautiful baby boy right in front of me. It really is baffling when you are in it and I wish I knew someone I could’ve talked to other than my doctor. Hoping this becomes a more prominent conversation between pregnant women and new moms. Xoxo

  13. Thank you for sharing! I had PPD after my second baby and it’s such an awful experience. I felt so much guilt during mine. I had everything. I great husband, two amazing children but I couldn’t shake the depression and other symptoms that come with it. I finally had a rock bottom moment and went to the doctor the next day to start treatment. I kept mine to just family while I was going through it. I finally had the courage to share a Facebook post about it around a year later with a brief description. I had so many moms reach out to me privately to share their story or ask for help. It was amazing what a little post did. I think awareness like this is amazing. It lets us know we are not alone and that it will eventually get better!

  14. I just watched a Netflix movie called “when the bough breaks”. I highly recommend this movie to anyone and everyone. It’s a real tear jerker, but raises a lot of awareness of postpartum depression.

  15. I can relate! Although I also had anxiety/OCD coupled with PPD. I went in to labor after being a week overdue. My delivery was a nightmare. I was passing kidney stones (didn’t find out until after delivery after suffering agony for over 24 hours) my babies heartrate was 210, we both had fevers and I had an infection in my euterus due to him pooping in my womb. I pushed for 3 hours when they told me I had a half hour to get him out or it would result in a c section. Somehow I made it happen. When D was born he swallowed the meconium in my womb, he was immediately taken from us and sent to the nicu. It was absolutely heart wrenching to see my husband crying on the hospital floor after being in total and complete shock. D was so sick that I didn’t get to hold him for two days resulting in a terrible time breastfeeding. I ended up pumping for a year due to this, exclusively. We spent a week in the hospital and thank god he’s healthy. However I believe the snow ball effect happened to me too. I began worrying constantly about him getting hurt which lead to intrusive thoughts and i was scared to be alone with him, scared to tell anyone. I didn’t feel right abou meds since I have dealt with a great deal of grief in my life (losing my dad at 21) so I know for me personally meds are a babdaid and I didn’t want a bandaid. I ended up ordering an all natural supplement hormone master and pumping and dumping for a month to do this. I had two full weeks of intrusive thoughts, i was scared to walk down the road for fear we weren’t safe, even afraid to sit in our living room alone when my husband went to bed early. It got really bad. I did go to the doctor and was relieved that they had heard it all before but I was scared to admit it. My husband was overwhelmed with the new baby, his crazy wife, and pressure from going from 2 incomes to one. I thought I would be ready for another baby by now and I am NOT. I am terrified to go through this again. It get better. It’s so hard when u are inside the depression. The stigma is ridiculous. It was really hard to think these crazy thoughts and KNOW it wasn’t me and the more I tried to calm down the worse it got. I was scared of knives in my kitchen, my baby drowning in the bath tub. To this day I dress him warm and I’m afraid to let him sleep with a blanket. The hormone master helped tremendously but once i completed the 30 monthly pills it came back stronger than before. I just decided I was stronger than the ppd. It’s scary. With prayer, positivity, self care, and patience we can come out the other side. We need to get rid of the stigma. Thank u for being brace and sharing ur story. Love is the only house big enough for all the pain in the world. Xoxo

  16. Thank you so much, Amy and Ali! I was a first time mom and had PPD also. I didn’t know, or even want to think, that I was going through PPD but I knew I wasn’t myself. That’s all I could tell me husband, I didn’t feel like myself. I’ve never had depressive feelings, so this was all new territory for me. I wish that more people would talk about the side effects, like struggling with your spouse or not wanting to eat, but I also think people are afraid to scare new moms. I came out of it and felt such a relief to just have to be a mommy and love my little baby, without crying all the time or feeling like a failure. Thank you for sharing and hopefully telling our stories will help other moms get help faster.

  17. Hi there! I am from Estonia so I’m far away reader :). I never was diagnosed, but I had very hard time after the birth of my beautiful gorgeous son. I am a midwife myself and I had c-section because he had bottoms first. After we got home all I did was crying. I loved my son, but I felt like I failed about everythind: c-section, breastfeeding was difficult and problems with my husband. And how did it end like this? I’m a midwife and had my first child with c-section?? It was so unbelievable for me. Everybody was talking that all it matters is your healthy child – yes, I agreed. But they didn’t understand. Now when he is almost three is old I can talk about without crying. So I totally agree to spread the word to your pregnant or among just had baby friends. I do the same 😉 Thank u Ali and Amy!

  18. What a great post! I gave birth on June 28, 2017. I was lucky enough to have a wonderful pregnancy and fortunate to not suffer from PPD. However, my birth was another story. It was a long 21 hour ordeal and I had complications. Amy is right in what she said about marriage being effected. I found that, along with many other things should have been talked about more! That’s the one thing I find I am still struggling with. Having a 3 month baby is tough and a lot of work. Finding that balance between being a mother, a good wife and finding yourself as a person again is a tough mix. My husband and i are still trying to figure it out now but communication and patience are key! I have an enormous respect for any woman who has brought a life into this world. It is truly amazing what we women can do!! Stay strong!

  19. I’m so thankful for mommas that will open up about PPD. So often pinterest and instagram paints these beautiful images of motherhood, don’t get me wrong motherhood is a beautiful thing, but sometimes, for many, it’s a rocky road. I never thought I’d be able to have children so imagine after my sons birth my emotions did not match the joy in my heart, I suffered for a year before a sweet sweet women mentioned PPD. I didn’t know. I didn’t know because no one was talking about it. My ‘babies’ are 21 and 17 now and I am so thankful for this dialog. Thank you Ali for starting the conversation and thank you Amy for being brave and sharing your story.

  20. Thank you for speaking up and help bring this to light. I love reading these blogs and the awareness they bring. I too suffered from severe post partum anxiety and depression after my 4th child was born. It was hard caring for now FOUR children and 2 were under 2. When my baby was about 2 months old I started experiencing lots of abdominal muscle spasms and other body pains that my docs said was nothing. From there my anxiety arose and it came on so intense, it was something I had never experienced. I was terrified at all times. I felt that my body pains were something worse and I would die soon. Who would care for my children like their momma? I couldnt sleep and eat (dropped so much weight). My mind and thoughts were going 100 mph and never ending. I felt I had shocked my nervous system. I was now terrified to be left alone with kids. It was the most terrifying and lonliest thing I have ever experienced. No one understood it. But I did lots of self care, cognitive behavior therapy, acupuncture and lots of prayer. My little one is now almost 2 years old and I am so thankful that I have overcame this monster. I also feel it leaves you with some form of PTSD. Because the experience is so intense and terrifying that any time i feel anxious it terrifies me that it might come on strong and never leave. We as woman need to talk about it, help each other out and lift each other up. Help that struggling momma, be a listening ear. It does get better.

  21. Thank you so much for sharing. I too suffered from PPD and found just sharing my experiences helped me through it. I hope that more people start to have an open dialogue about it as I feel so many women are ashamed or embarrassed about what they are feeling. But it’s none of those things. There is no shame is saying you need help, it was the best thing I did for me and my son. Thanks for also mentioning about your marriage, went through the same thing.

  22. I so understand what Aimy was going through! It took me 10 years to conceive. Even though I was sick when pregnant, I didn’t take one moment for granted. The baby boy came, via emergency c-section! I had to be induced early due to high blood pressure and after many hours of hard labor we had a c section:( I connected with my son right away! Nursing was hard and didn’t want to work, on top of it he was cranky and screamed most of the time! I also had to reach out for help as I noticed some feelings and thoughts that I knew were not right. I loved my son, why was I sad and crying all the time! My son deserved a better mom! At 2 months old things started to look brighter:) baby was also starting to get more content, and I started to get some more sleep. I had a friend I could turn too and also a mom’s group on FB that helped me through many dark days. Babylues and postpartum depression needs to be talked about!!! im so glad Aimy got the help she deserved! As a mom, I knew I had to reach out for help so that I could be a better mom. I wanted to be a great and happy mom, not a sad mom. Every Child deserves that!

  23. I’m so grateful that you shared this! I also had PPD, as well as anxiety. It was hard for me to understand since I had no actual “issues” with my baby. I had a strong bond with him, and he was such a sweet, calm, baby, so I felt even worse for not feeling okay. Sadly, no doctors actually asked me how I was, so I had to basically help myself and get counseling and ask for medication. It’s been 15 months and I’ve just gone off medication, and it’s all a work in progress, but things are much better. 💜

    Thank you again for opening up the conversation on this health crisis that women deal with, and for having the courage to share your story . ❤️

  24. I think this is great that she is sharing this! I did not struggle with post part. depression, but i did have VERY severe post part. OCD and ANXIETY… which did not hit me until my son was 7 months old. There are so many ways hormones and new life as a mom can be overwhelming and scary and i too want to pass on, it does pass. it does get better. But it also sucks, and I completely understand!

  25. Thank you for the amazing information about depression blog .all the steps are important when we suffer from depression. I get motivated by the post and alert from mistakes.thanks for sharing this. In normal life people daily suffers from this problem.
    our PARIJATAK AYURVEDA Also provides the treatment for depression. Due to competitive lifestyle, many peoples in the world were suffering from this Depression. Near about !0% of the population suffered from this problem. In Ayurveda, it is called as Vishaad or Manoavasad. Depression not only affects the mind but also it affects the body of the person.

  26. Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.
    You are awesome in writing. but dear we always have to look for a cure..
    heres what i found. Fight depression and
    Get social.
    Leave the hell habit of self-talking and self-advise, for a while.
    Tell him to read motivational stories, watch inspiring videos,
    Adopt a healthy lifestyle,
    Meditate and calm his mind.
    Relax his neurons, go for a diet change.
    Eat the important superfoods and practice yoga regularly this will help him to concentrate and focus his energy to bring out positive results.
    if you find it beneficial you can know more at

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