Bachelor in Paradise – Why Dean Why?

I apologize in advance for typos. I wrote this SOOOO quick before work this morning and had to post it without proof reading. It was that, or not posting at all. So bare with me.

Before I talk about last nights episode of Bachelor in Paradise, I want to talk a little bit about my blog yesterday. There were a lot of strong opinions on my blog yesterday and I don’t blame you guys! My opinions were very strong too. I don’t condone bullying in any way. But I also realize that people are human and laughing at a funny story is very different than flat out being mean over and over and over.  Or giggling when someone does something like walk over with the shrimp in their hand after the Scallop Fingers story and not being able to stop giggling. Was the giggling mean girl mentality? Maybe. But I happened to personally know both Amanda and Sarah and I can tell you this, there’s not a mean bone in their body. Do I know 100% for certain that they ended up telling Christen what they were giggling about? I absolutely don’t. But I do know the show is heavily edited and I do know them both personally and I really feel like they would’ve told her. That said, if they didn’t tell her, that wasn’t cool what they did. But I still don’t think it was mean spirited. They were giggling because something was funny.

Jasmine on the other hand was mean spirited. But that certainly does not mean that I don’t like Jasmine or think we should all gang up on Jasmine. I think Jasmine is a good person just like everyone else on the show. Like I said in my blog yesterday, hurt people, hurt people. And I think Jasmine has been hurt in the past and because of that she’s lashing out a little bit. But I have nothing but love for her and know that she’s better than what we’re seeing on the show. I just wanted to call it bullying so the young girls who read my blog and the woman who read my blog know that I don’t think it’s OK.

1. EARRINGS | 2. CROP TOP | 3. HIGH WAIST PANTS | 4. PURSE | 5. HEELS

So moving forward, I really don’t want any of us to gang up on Jasmine or Amanda or Sara or anyone! And keep in mind all the people were talking about our women. Some of you mentioned on my blog yesterday that Wells was being a bully with his puppets. I really don’t think so since it was all obviously comedy. Gossiping is completely different then a comedy act. And any of my comedic friends would say that Wells comedy act was pretty damn good. But that said, let’s have a lot of love for all the guys on the show and all the girls on the show but at the same time let’s call them out when their behavior isn’t the best. I think it’s important to have these discussions but also important to remember that these people we are talking about are in fact people and have feelings.

Let’s chat about Dean for a little bit here. To me, it’s quite obvious what’s going on with Dean. He feels like he should be with Kristina because let’s face it, she’s absolutely awesome! He knows she’s the PC choice and he knows she’s the safe choice. However, his attraction to D-Lo is too strong for him to use his actual head right now. He’s letting his, how can I say this, “other” head to do the talking. Like I said above about the other contestants, I don’t think Dean is a bad person just like I don’t think anybody else on the show is a bad person. But he is making some really shitty decisions right now. My heart just breaks for Kristina because I’ve been in her exact shoes before. Where you love a guy and will cuddle up next to him just hoping with every inch of your heart that he’ll love you back. And savoring those moments that he’s holding you in his arms. But deep down inside you know that he doesn’t feel the same way about you and probably never will. There’s no doubt in my mind that Kristina has fallen in love with Dean and I hate that she’s going through this. I just don’t think there is any way they’re going to end up together in the end. So with that, I really hope another guy comes along to paradise for Kristina.

The only other thing I have time to talk about from last night’s episode is my favorite person on the show, Daniel! I was so upset when Alexis got sent home because I absolutely adore her and think she is so funny but the addition of Daniel definitely helped soften the blow. I absolutely loved him last season and this season he is not disappointing so far! I could watch a show entirely about Daniel.

Ok that’s all I’ve got for now because I have to go to work!

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Thoughts

65 thoughts on “Bachelor in Paradise – Why Dean Why?

  1. Just wondering what you thought about Daniel’s comments when he first arrived and referred to the remaining girls as leftovers/sloppy seconds, especially to Lacey’s face. Is this just his brand of humor or did he cross a line? I know watching it, it rubbed me the wrong way, even though I know Daniel isn’t one to censor himself and he likes to make bold(sometimes inappropriate) statements.

    1. I agree with you 100%! I don’t find Daniel funny at all and I think he is down right disrespectful towards the women. I wouldn’t have accepted a date from him after comments like that.

      1. He also went on Million Dollar Matchmaker and was very disrespectful of the women, only caring about physical assets. He’s only after one thing, and I think we all know what that is!

    2. I thought that was very disrespectful too, Lauren. I couldn’t believe he said that… and more than once! However, after that he seemed to be into Lacey and they seemed to be getting along great together until Hurricane Jasmine showed up. Poor Lacey! Anyway, I do have to agree that Daniel is funny and adds some more excitement to this season. I can’t wait to see what happens!

    3. I am right there with you on this. To hear him talk about women the way he is is just disrespectful. Listening to how Lacey was there for him and then to hear him say the things he is to her just makes me cringe. On another note though, I have no idea why no one is going after Ben Z. He seems like such a good guy and it’s just kind of surprising.

      1. agreed! What is going on?? How are these women just ignoring Ben Z? He seems like one of the best guys of the franchise. Can’t believe he is single through all of this?!

        1. Oh my gosh I say the same thing every week! Ben Z was one of my favorites from Kaitlyn’s season. So handsome and sweet!

          1. I agree! Why doesn’t he seem to have a connection with anyone?
            And I’m so unimpressed with daniel and his comments to the ladies when he first arrived! I felt so bad for him calling them “leftovers” etc.

          2. I feel the same. The women should all want to have a date with him. It is really strange that he is always in the background. I think Daniel is annoying and do not understand why any woman would choose him

    4. AGREE!! I actually think Daniel is the worst person to ever be on ever bachelor show! Such a idiot with his sex comments!

    5. Yeah, I don’t think Daniel is funny. He uses his “comedy” as an excuse to be a crude jerk and say whatever he wants. I want to throw up a little every time he makes a sexual comment!!

      1. Totally agree. His comments were so inappropriate. Even my husband overheard the things he was saying, and said he sounded like a jerk!

    6. I disagree. As a fellow Canadian with a dry sense of humor I can see that Daniel is just super sarcastic with a dry and candid sense of humour. its refreshing to see, especially because his jokes seem to go over the heads of all the other contestants most of the time. I love it!

      1. I was literally just going to say as a Canadian I love his humour! He kills me! It might come off rude but I honestly don’t believe he means harm on anyone!!!

        1. It’s frustrating that the cast seem to take his humour at face value, Christen is the only one who seems to get his humour and be mega sarcastic back to him. I spotted shots of after their chats of them both laughing showing that can bounce off each other. Probably just as friends though. I wish Lacey had said something back to Daniel like “Weren’t you always last choice?” but when you like someone it’s hard to banter.

  2. I love your blog Ali! I usually agree with everything you say 100%! I however cannot stand Daniel! I don’t find him funny at all and think his comments towards the women are down right rude. He basically called all of the “single” women on the show leftovers. And poor Lacy just looks desperate! Really hope Kristina and Danielle both leave Dean! Kristina should go after Ben Z, I think he’s the real catch of Paradise! I don’t understand why the women aren’t fighting over him! Just my thoughts 🙂
    Have a great day!

  3. I am curious to know why Ben Z gave D-Lo his rise?! Was it to keep the drama of the threesome going?! Because he didn’t seem to talk much to D-Lo afterwards (or maybe it was editing), Would have much rather seen it go to Alexis.

    Kristina deserves so much more. It was so sad to hear her say the orphanage was better than paradise.

  4. I would LOVE to know what you thought about ABC and the Bachelor/Bachelorette using the Corinne and Demario situation as almost what seemed a publicity stunt. NEITHER one of these poor people felt uncomfortable with what happened between them, yet a producer, from ABC got offended and likely spoke to someone about it, that got to the media. I feel like ABC involvement or causation of this huge blow to both of their lives was not acknowledged. They made it seem like one of them was was complaining when neither one did, and neither one had hard or negative feelings towards each other. I mean, this is kinda a huge blow for a woman to be slut shamed (you can always google that) and a man to be accused of sexual misconduct(you can always google that). I really feel for both of them, and rather than ABC vehemently apologizing to them both and protecting them, basically they threw them to the wolves. Maybe I am crazy or the only one, but I just feel like they both deserve a huge apology for being drug through the mud as a result of ABC’s actions. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Not made a “BIP special”

    1. I completely agree with you! I cried listening to Demario, especially when he talked about his mom. And Corinne owning up to her actions of mixing alcohol and prescription meds was very adult of her, but I hate that she was used in this. I don’t think this should have ever gotten out to the media or been part of the season. Terrible!

    2. This whole story really has me confused now that we’ve heard from both of them. Obviously the perp in this is someone from the ABC crew. This to me seems like a publicity stunt at a cost to Corinne and Demario. There should definitely be an apology from ABC.

    3. I completely agree with you! I want to know what happened with the member of the crew that started this whole mess. Probably because I’m nosy, but they created a whole lot of drama over nothing.

    4. Completely agree! I was outraged by how Chris was asking questions like this whole event was Corinne’s fault, and “what would she say to demario now” rather than the fact she was basically told “Btw while you were unconscious yesterday, you were assualted”. If there was nothing dodgy, why didn’t they instantly show Corrine the footage. If “a mountain was made out of a molehill”, it was ABC producers doing that, not Corinne. I would have expected the show to say something like “in making the show, we put people in extreme unnatural situations and film the consequences. This event has made the whole crew take a step back in what is acceptable to capitalize on for the public’s viewing pleasure, and we are taking extra precautions to make sure we don’t cross any moral lines. We thought a moral line had been crossed, but on further investigation found no issues so hugely apologize for dragging demarios name through the mud and terrifying Corinne into thinking she had been assaulted”. Take some responsibility ABC!!

      1. I agree that neither party was offended, just a producer was. Maybe someone should have intervened, if it was that bad, instead of waiting until the next day to blow it up!

    5. I do not reply to blogs ever, but I feel so strongly about the fact that ABC is the one to blame in this situation! And the fact that they potentially ruined DeMario’s life and slut shamed Corinne has honestly caused me to rethink watching the show because I don’t want to support them or give them viewership. It’s really disheartening that they would stoop to this level for ratings.

  5. Daniel and his comments last night. He gives us Canadians a bad name. I am shocked Lindsay still wanted to go on a date with him after he referred to her and the others as leftover scraps. I mean really? Also what the hell with Jasmine again? Interrupting them after their date for what reason? The girls are the ones giving out roses this week so what was the point of that? I do like that Daniel commented to her, “so what I am just supposed to leave her high and dry?”

  6. I used to think Daniel was funny but he was pretty cruel to Lacey on this episode. It’s like borderline emotional abuse telling Lacey repeatedly that she is trash and leftovers. I think people are giving Daniel a pass because he’s so goofy and weird. He always says crazy things, but that crossed a line.
    Dean is like every guy in their early 20’s. He wants to hook up with DLo badly and instead of just owning that, he decides to keep Kristina on the sidelines so he can see how much he can get away with. I’m pretty sure all of us have been in Kristina’s situation. It was truly awful watching him fool around with DLo in the pool after sleeping with Kristina the night before. I hope Kristina finds someone who *actually* values her and sees her for the beautiful woman she is. And since he seems only into DLo’s looks (he’s said on numerous occasions he thinks Kristina is smarter and more interesting), I hope DLo finds someone that will appreciate her for all of who she is. Dean needs to grow up a bit before he’s ready for a relationship.

    1. Completely agree with you on every comment you made. Since we first met Daniel on Kaitlyn’sseason, I have not been impressed by him. He has made me laugh, but not when he uses crude, sexual humor. His comments are often degrading and disrespectful of women. He doesn’t seem very intelligent or educated, either. I hope Kristina either chooses to go home or finds someone else. Dean is behaving like a high school or early college aged boy, and that may be where he is emotionally.

  7. I think Daniel is hilarious! The comment to Lacey about leftovers, I think, was edited in a way to make him come across as a dick. I think Daniel has a very dry (and crude) sense of humor that is not for everyone. Again, I think he is hilarious and love that he is back in Paradise.

    As for Dean, he is very very very immature. He acts like a horny little teenager. Poor Kristina. She should’ve ditched him a long time ago and moved on to someone else. Like Ben Z.

    And Jasmine rubs me the wrong way – ever since her bullying of Christine. I don’t like it.

  8. I know this is not a popular opinion but I think Daniel is playing a role he was brought in for. Does he mean the comments he said, probably not, I am thinking that the BIP powers that be, brought him in for that very reason. Do I know this for a fact, absolutely not, but just my opinion. He has been portrayed as the goofy Canuck with no filter and that is his schtick. Thats why he will never be the Bachelor but will be brought in as the “comic relief”. Was it offensive to women…absolutely. But that’s why he’s there. Stir the pot. Bring the drama.

  9. I almost turned it off.. It felt like I was watching middle schoolers bullying. I really think they need to grow up. I miss the way this show used to be 😕

    1. I agree with you, Erica & miss the way the show used to be.

      Praying for the people/animals affected by hurricane Harvey

  10. I don’t know about Wells… I know he is trying to be funny, but its crossing a line. My husband, who never watches, happened to be in the room for some of the show last night. He saw Wells and his puppets. His comment was, “who is this guy? He’s acting like a complete d@$k.” And although I really want to like him, I have to agree with my husband. And “Scallop Fingers” was still under Christen’s name last night.
    I also felt terrible for Demario and now Corinne. I agree with a previous poster that this all seems like a stunt by ABC that neither of them want to be involved with.

  11. I love your pants Ali!!! As for the show Daniel is definitely brought in for effect. He is not at all a typical Canadian in fact I’ve never heard him say pardon me or sorry for anything yet LOL …. I wouldn’t go on a date with a dude that let me know he had to survey the prospects first. He is funny, weird, and I’m a fan of quirk but his sense of confidence seems tainted. Ben Z is awesome but plain and simple I think the ladies want to hear him talk about them or his future wife/partner the way he talks about his dog. Poor Kristina ….. make Dean eat his heart out girl while watching you fall in love with someone who chooses you and only you from DAY 1. I don’t know why but I can’t get down with the girl who comes on the scene flirts her heart out knowing she’s tempting someone away from another and then says … ” make your decision”. Like set the man straight, “Handle your biz over there before you come around here thank you!”. Is it that hard ?!? Maybe I feel this way because of my own past but .. D-LO you are very pretty and that’s all we ever see when you’re on screen … I know you got feelings boo but I just can’t hang.

  12. I agree and don’t think Sarah and Amanda were trying to be mean although the comment Amanda made about not trusting anyone who eats scallops with their fingers made it look worse for her.
    It looks like Dean does love Kristina and cares about her but is infatuated with DLO. I think he totally wants to hook up with DLO and that’s it, and wants Kristina to basically wait for him to do that. He loves Kristina but lusts DLO. Either way, not cool and I feel really bad for Kristina because she is so vulnerable right now.
    Daniel is funny but so annoying lol. I can only take him in small doses.
    As for Wells, I love him.

  13. Ha! Ali saying she has to go to “work” cracks me up. What exactly do you do besides hawk stupid shit on social media like Hello Fresh and post pictures of yourself wearing clothes you got for free and expect everyone else to buy to line your pocketbook?

    At least she admits that she’s friends with Amanda and Sara. So of course she is going to defend them.

    1. Well that’s not being a peacebuilder. She no where near hawks half the crap the other bachelor/bachelorette contestants promote. Very other picture of their’s is an ad for something random.

    1. More fool you for reading and commenting on a blog of a person you obviously don’t like- its your choice to read this- don’t you have better things to do than trolling?
      Don’t follow ali or read her blog if this is your opinion… find a hobby.. maybe one that makes yoi a kinder person.

  14. I do not like Daniel at all- he is super disrespectful to women. Even if he was brought in for “comic relief”- it doesnt have to be at the expense of women. The sexual jokes, calling Lacey and others leftovers, how he shut her down about the date before he had checked out other women.
    I just dont find that funny and makes me want to stop watching.
    Just my opinion though

  15. I completely disagree about Daniel. Everything that comes out of his mouth objectifies the women and it’s disgusting. I hope he’s gone next week.

  16. I truly think you’re wrong about editing in the instance of Sarah and amanda letting Christen in on the joke. The previews for next week showed Christen learning that everyone calls her scallop fingers and it was clearly news to her. Amanda and Sarah were definitely mean and in the wrong in that situation.

    1. THIS exactly. She says it’s not bullying when people are just laughing at what’s funny, but it IS mean when you’re laughing AT someone, at their expense! And honestly what’s so funny about eating shrimp with your hand when you’re beachside? Did they expect a bib and all that?

  17. I was SO excited to see Daniel! I wish that Daniel would be the next Bachelor, but I think there’s too many sensitive people in the world for that to happen unfortunately. The only time my husband will watch the show with me is when he sees Daniel onscreen. He thinks he’s hilarious as well. I love his sense of humor.

  18. I loved your comments today (except the one about Daniel) – and I really loved that you reminded us to have empathy with the people on the show when they exhibit bad behavior – to call them out on it, not bully them, and understand that when people come come from a place of being hurt, having a wound, they often act out in anger: Re. Daniel – he is a breath of fresh air in once sense, but I don’t like his continual sort of objectification of women, or base treatment of them. He is rather base himself , so maybe that is how he really is, but I don’t really like it. I did think when he asked Christen if she liked Canadian bacon was hilarious because she didn’t get it and took him literally. Also when he said he didn’t want to put all his chickens into one egg. Lol. Gotta love him for comments like that.

  19. I love that you speak about countering hate with empathy, it is a huge belief of mine and I think the world would be a better place if more people did this. However, I still can’t stand behind or defend anyone’s actions on this show Monday. Amanda said on Instagram that she didn’t tell Christin what they were laughing at. In the teaser for the rest of the season they showed someone telling Christin about the story, so only time will tell how she reacts to it. I know I would be hurt. And hear my heart, Ali, even if something isn’t necessarily “mean spirited,” it can still be mean, and in my opinion, a form of bullying. I think the only thing they could do to fix this in my mind is just own up to their behavior and apologize. I haven’t seen Jasmine, Alexis, Wells, Amanda, or Sarah do this. And that’s what I have an issue with.

    1. I agree with you!

      I am all for giving people the benefit of the doubt and everyone makes mistakes- Lord knows I have! Thankfully mine were never aired on national television. I cant even imagine having to answer to America. Really at the end of the day it’s between them and Jesus.

      There needs to be some accountability and I hope they address bullying at some point on this show. Men and women can both be bullies, mean spirited, etc.

  20. I think Daniel is so rude, annoying, sexist and NOT funny. I don’t even find him attractive probably due to not liking him. I hope he gets booted real soon.

  21. I agree that we shouldn’t be ganging up on anyone, however, totally should call people out when neccesary. Standing up for what is right. There is a difference for sure…

    Even if Amanda, Sarah, and Alexis were laughing all in good fun and with good intentions Christine wasn’t “laughing” in the end. If the person you are joking around with isn’t laughing with you, then as a friend it shouldn’t be funny anymore. NO one wants to be the butt of a joke. I used to get made of by friends that I was a dumb blonde and it hurt deep down inside. They were laughing and I pretended to laugh with them.

    In the past I’ve been hurt and I have in fact become a recovering mean girl. At some point you have to take responsibility for your actions. A person can’t blame it all on how they have been treated. In some cases yes but in other cases you have to be accountable. It’s a choice at the end of the day how we treat people regardless of how we have been treated. I have had to learn this and I am still learning this. I do agree that hurt people, hurt people but then there is choosing to treat others the way we want to be treated…

  22. I did like Dean a lot on Rachel’s season. However, I am not a fan of his behavior on Paradise. I wish that Kristina would tell him that she’s a high value woman and she doesn’t have the time to waste on someone who doesn’t appreciate her. It makes me angry to see her be so disrespected. I think Dean is a good person but the decisions he’s making in this situation are very upsetting. I hope next season isn’t like this, I won’t watch if it is.

  23. Speaking of Dean…. I had a friend tell me once, “If you want to know what a man is thinking, just LISTEN to what he tells you.” This sounds simple, but as women, I think often we hear what we want to hear and disregard the rest. So, with Dean. I think Dean clearly told Kristina that, “He was not on the same wavelength with her, but, that he thought she was an awesome girl.” Kristina heard, “He thinks I am awesome.” But failed to hear the part about different wavelengths. We have to listen as women, even when we don’t want to hear what is being said. It can be our saving grace.

    1. I agree!! He was giving her “mixed signals,” but honestly if a man is not giving you full on good signals, he is just not that into you!! I dated guys who played games in college and the first half of my 20s but when I met my husband I realized that when it’s right, it’s easy! No games, no mixed signals, just all in on both sides with no reservations.

  24. I would like to say, what is up with Raven? I feel like she has done a 365° turn from his she acted on Nick’s season. I’m not liking how mean she is. For instance, her interaction with Kristina at the end of Monday night’s episode. She is the one who left the conversation, not Kristina. I watched it! And, of course Kristina didn’t want to hear the truth, she is hurting. Why not be a good friend and listen, instead of just defending J-Lo. I’d be ticked too, if some chick came along and was hitting on my man. Dean should have been off limits for her. He’s a jerk for what he did, but so is J-Lo. You just don’t do that to another woman, if you want to be respected. That’s all. Vent over…. Lol. Does anyone feel the same way? Or is it just me?

  25. I’ve been following your reaction to the bullying on BIP pretty closely. I was just wondering what your thoughts are about Amanda innocence after her conversation with the twins last night. Do you still believe that it is editing to make her look bad?

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