Bullying is NOT Cool – Bachelor in Paradise

SPOILER ALERT! Don’t read this unless you have watched Monday night’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise. I’m posting this before it airs on the west coast so want to give the warning first.

Man. So much drama on Bachelor in Paradise! Wasn’t this show supposed to be fun and lighthearted? Don’t get me wrong the “drama” can be entertaining to watch sometimes, but this episode just left me feeling sad for some of the contestants. And I want to start this blog by saying bullying is NOT COOL. It doesn’t make the person doing it look god and it doesn’t make the person receiving it feel good. Let’s break it all down…

First, I really felt bad for Christen (I really wish she spelled is Kristen) when she was breaking down in tears after Jasmine confronted her but really she should’ve known better. She sat down with not only Jasmine but also with Jack Stone who told her that Jasmine and Matt were a couple. They were plenty of other guys for her to choose to go out on a date with and she really broke girl code by asking Matt in my opinion. Especially after just talking to Jasmine a few moments earlier about how her and Matt were a thing.

1. TASSEL EARRINGS | 2. GINGHAM DRESS | 3. HEELS | 4. GOLD RING

But all that said, I was also super disappointed with Jasmine because of all her name calling. The whole scallop fingers story was honestly just disgusting to me. I think Alexis told it in good fun because really Alexis doesn’t have a mean bone in her body (and I dot blame Amanda and Sarah for laughing at the shrimp thing – that was pretty funny) but Jasmine took it to a whole other level by making Christen seem like a “dirty” person and just plain old being mean. And I don’t know,Β Christen just seems like the type of person that is really sensitive to what other people say. My heart just broke for her watching this all go down and thinking that she is probably devastated seeing what people are saying about her. And Jasmine threatening physical violence “if she wasn’t on camera” is not OK.

I am not trying to get all of us to gang up on Jasmine either. I have liked her a lot all season. And I sure there is good reason for why she is lashing out like this. Maybe she was hurt by a friend in the past who took her man. Maybe she’s hurt inside. In the end, I feel for her too. Hurt people, hurt people.

And here the thing, I feel like I can’t watch the show the same way now that I’m a parent. I just keep thinking about my daughter being put in that situation one day. I don’t mean literally being on Bachelor in Paradise. I just mean being a young adult in real life and dealing with real life’s drama and the hurt that comes along from what other people can say and do to you. I just wish everyone would treat each other a little better.

In the end Matt decided to leave and I think that was probably a good idea. I’m sure he talked to the producers and ask them if he should just give his rose away to somebody and then leave. And I’m sure the producers let him know that they were going to bring another guy in. So I think he made the right decision by not giving either Christen or Jasmine his rose. He didn’t want to pick between the two of them and that’s his decision. He seems like a really good guy and I wish him all the best!

Now let’s talk about Taylor and Derek. Should Derek have used that language when talking to Taylor? Absolutely not! You should never talk like that to your partner. That said, I truly do believe he felt terrible about it afterwards and did everything he could to talk to Taylor about it. I kind of feel like Taylor was playing the game of “I need time” but then was upset when he walked away and gave her time. For instance, when she was talking about it the next morning with Dom she said that Derek wasn’t there for her emotionally. Well, she told him to go away and he listened. I’m not hating on her though. I actually like her a lot. I just think she is still young. I used to do the how “leave me alone” thing when I really wanted my boyfriend it console me. I get it.

But someone did totally bring a smile to my face in this episode. Who you ask? Well…

1. TASSEL EARRINGS | 2. GINGHAM DRESS | 3. HEELS | 4. GOLD RING

WELLS! With all the drama going on in Paradise I want to end on a good note! Wells with his puppets are just cracking me up! And the fact that we’re getting to see so much of Wells is making me think that there is a very good chance he could be our next Bachelor. What do you guys think?! Tell me in the comments below!

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284 thoughts on “Bullying is NOT Cool – Bachelor in Paradise

  1. Hi,
    Thanks for posting this, however, I really wish you did not defend Sarah and Amanda for laughing at Christen. That was just straight up mean not letting her in on the joke. Imagine your little girl being laughed at by two other girls and not knowing the joke…I’ve been there and it hurts (no Matter what age you are). I was just really disappointed to see that. The scallop story was funny but it was taken too far in
    my opinion. I do appreciate this
    Post though, thank you for bringing it to light for a healthy discussion.

    1. Agree! And watching Cristen asking what awas going on as they excluded her with their laughter and body language, my stomach hurt. I remember that feeling around mean girls in high school. It’s hurts.

    2. I agree with this. I felt so sick when Amanda and Sarah were making fun of her and laughing at her when she came to the bar, then not telling her why. And when Alexis originally told the story, Amanda was making rude comments about “not trusting people who eat scallops with their hands”. We’re obviously all entitled to our own opinion and I agree with everything else you said, just don’t think she should’ve been defended because she was being very catty and rude to Christen too

      1. Agreed. Amanda’s of all people (A MOTHER) behavior was disgusting. That was just soo immature and cruel. I think she comes off as not having much of a personality but those were her true colors. She felt too comfortable making fun of people. Shame on that girl. If you have nothing nice to say… keep saying nothing.

      1. Ali, I think you must have missed that Wells was the most active bullier on last nights show. Wells was relentless with his “scallop fingers ” comments. Totally making blatant. Fun of her on national TV. The next “bachelor”? If anti bulling groups get wind of this episode…..

        1. Agree 100%. Making fun of Christen’s new boobs, scallop fingers, and even Jasmine’s temper. Missed Jorge in that situation

          1. I def agree that Amanda and Sarah were being mean girls. Totally catty! And Amanda’s is a mom of girls! Jasmine was ridiculous bullying is not right and she was being a mean girl brat! This whole group needs to step back and look at themselves. As a mom I’m disappointed in them. These kids need to grow up no one is mature enough to be married in this group.

        2. I took away what wells was doing was that he was almost making fun of the bullies for beating the dead horse about the scallops. They wouldn’t shut up about them and I felt like he was making fun of them with those stupid puppets lol. Jaz needs to go. She looked so stupid last night. Kept saying christen was dead to her and she’s nobody to her and so on but could never stop talking about it. I don’t ever see what matt saw in someone so aggressive from the get go. I LOVED dean on Rachel’s season but now on BIP I’m not sure now.

          1. Just because you can’t see what attracts others to strength doesn’t mean you have to bash the quality and call it aggressiveness. Kind of racist. Having said that I do agree that bullying of any form including being a bystander is wrong.

        3. 100% agree. Well was a major bully. I was the most disappointed in Amanda. She is a mother of two young girls. I can only imagine she would not want her daughters to treat other little girls this way.

        4. I agree Kristi, Wells was one of the worse ones to humiliate Christen with his scallop and shrimp tirade. Wish he would just listen to the cast and not voice his opinions in such a degrading way.

        5. I agree completely. Laughing at Wells making fun was just as bad as Amanda, making fun. Yes, I love Wells, but how is his jokes any better?

      1. I agree. I’m definitely not an Amanda fan this season. My opinion is she thinks she’s better then anyone else there. I did not like how she was acting towards Robby. Everyone warned her last season about Josh and did not listen. I believe Robby is one of the sweetest guys there. I thought it was so rude of Amanda to say that about christen

    3. Agreed. Jasmine was clearly mean and insecure the whole time, and she has obviously been one to be kind of intense with emotions, but the Mean Girls in my mind were Sarah and Amanda. I was shocked neither of them told Christen what was going down and why they were laughing. Jasmine didn’t really make me see her in a different light this episode, but those two certainly did.

      1. Agreed I honestly saw Jasmine’s actions as insecurity and not being truly comfortable with herself … they were all being mean and not forward with Christen at all. I was annoyed by all their actions including Christen who was well aware she was putting a target on her own back and was more upset about not getting the same measure of sympathy then losing an opportunity with a Guy she really liked because he left.

      1. How can you be sure about that and speculate? And how can you judge the actions of jasmine as being mean(which they were and she was clearly acting out Bc of her feelings for matt) and yet you can make excuses for Amanda and Sarah? Granted Alexis’ intentions may have been innocent in sharing the story, but how could she not see that story isn’t flattering, especially in the context of this show?? So how did you decide what jasmine did wasn’t ok but the girls could be pardoned?

        1. Yes, Thank you for this comment. She defends Sarah and Amanda (most likely because she’s friends with them) but calls out Jasmine?

        2. Ali is just giving Sarah and Amanda the benefit of the doubt because she personally knows them, or at least Sarah (she interviewed Sarah in another blog and has always written very highly of her). I know she’s your friend Ali, but Sarah and Amanda both got in on the bullying. I think you want to assume their cruelty is just a case of editing, but even with a critical eye, it *really* doesn’t appear that way.

      2. Hey Ali, I respectfully disagree! I kept hoping Amanda or one of the other girls would stand up to Jasmine….and not only did they not tell her to stop, they also went on to participate in the bullying. How cool would it have been if Jasmine was shut down by the others? My husband and I watched in disbelief and disgust. I think you need to seriously reconsider…

      3. Actually, I think you’re wrong and they did not let her in on the joke. After Tuesday nights episode, they showed in the previews for next week Christen finding out everyone calls her scallop fingers. Hence she did not find out from Amanda and Sarah. Mean girls.

      4. i agree with you… we don’t know what all went down in that moment and theres alot of editing! i can get worked up about all of this drama but i have to remember that they edit it how they want to but its most likely not the whole story.

        P.S. i know im late posting this

    4. Totally agree. It’s one thing to laugh and then include her in the joke, but they didn’t. They laughed at her, hard. And then let her sit there and continuously ask what was so funny, and then laughed at her asking. Ali, I love you, but maybe you’ve just never been on the receiving end of this kind of bullying. It’s arguably worse than someone saying mean things to your face. At least with that you know what they are thinking and what you are dealing with. Here, she clearly knew they were laughing at her and she’s just left to wonder why. What is it about me (especially being that she literally just met Amanda and Amanda knows nothing about her at all) that’s making them laugh this hard. At me. It’s an awful feeling.

    5. Let me start off with the positive: I just LOVE Wells! He’s got an adorable personality and those puppets! I really hoped for he and Danielle to get together off camera but I would also love for him to be the next Bachelor too! I didn’t watch the whole show because I was flipping back and forth between BIP & SYTYCD and also because the behavior was getting to me, primarily Jasmine’s. I think before the arrival of Christen, she was just too domineering for Alex and between the drama of both girls he was too overwhelmed and felt the only way out was to escape! I felt Christen had every right to ask Alex out because he told her he would like to! After all, Dean and Kristina were more of a couple in my opinion and DLo still asked him out. I do not like in anyway the bullying behavior – it is unacceptable even if it is part of a drama. It only promotes what’s is an epidemic in our society. Ali – parenting changes everything for life and yes imagining this happen to your own child or anyone’s child as it’s actually happened to mine is the worst and we must all do what we can to combat this huge social ill. To end on a positive note, I, again, just love Wells and his puppets! Thank goodness for him being a breath of fresh air . PS: I still do not get what Dean is doing in relation to Kristina at all.

    6. I agree as well. I think it was the definition of high school bullying.

      On a side note, Ali, I love your blog, but I really wish you would proofread before posting, there are about seven mistakes in your text. 😳

          1. That’s not being a bully. It’s called constructive criticism. There are a lot of grammatical errors in most of her blog posts and it drives me crazy too. Not calling her any names or being rude, just pointing it out. She’s obviously very busy and wants to get it posted quickly but a quick spellcheck would work.

      1. Give Ali a break, she was probably feeding Molly or putting her down when typing this! You rock, Ali….I can figure out your typos!

    7. Thank you Sarah, I was going to say the same about Sarah and Amanda. Very junior high mean girls ! Also, I don’t think Christen did the wrong thing asking Matt on the date. Regardless of what Jasmine said, Matt came to Christen and said he was available and interested .
      When it comes to Taylor and Derek, I can’t help but think that Taylor is “emotionally immature “. Granted he shouldn’t have said what he did, but she had no problem dropping the F bomb. She was acting like a spoiled brat. Get over yourself Taylor. Stop analyzing everyone .
      Clearly this episode was not fun to watch. I do still like Wells though. He was being silly not mean.

      1. Thank you! YES!!! Why is everyone blaming Christen and saying she broke “girl code” by asking Matt out!
        This is Paradise- all bets are off!
        HE sought her out to tell her he was available and would enjoy going on the date with her.
        Jasmine made her self look like a desperate fool. Matt was clear in his disinterest and discomfort with her aggressive advances. I mean the guy kept going to take naps just to avoid her!

        1. yes THIS!! Like, noone got mad at D.Lo when she did the same to Kristina, or Sarah to Raven.. why are we giving Christen such a hard time? ESPECIALLY when Matt reached out first. It was getting to the point where she was being quite hostile. Like WE GET IT. YOU HATE HER. Loved Raven in this episode for checking up on Christen πŸ™‚

          Yes, Ali does voice over text, she has mentioned that before, and she also spoke up about being Dyslexic. And I can appreciate how often she posts, but the typos do kind of take away from the otherwise entertaining content. It is quite clear as well that zero proofreading goes in to it which as a reader makes me feel a little bit underappreciated :/ Obviously I keep coming back, and obviously this isn’t your full time job or anything, but for what it’s worth…

    8. Agreed-I really like Sarah, but she and Amanda just looked like mean girls by laughing at Christen and then not letting her in on the joke. I really didn’t like this episode because of all this mean girl bullying.

      I agree with Ali though, Wells was the best part of the night-he’s one of my favorites!! Although…what about him and Danielle?? I’m pulling for them!

    9. I TOTALLY agree! I wanted to cry just watching Amanda and Sarah laugh at her without saying anything!! I got a pit in my stomach just putting myself in christens position. It never feels good to feel like someone is talking about you.

    10. Totally agree! When Amanda and Sarah were laughing, my heart just sank. It took me back to some of my most hurtful grade school memories: when you realize that people you thought were your friends have been talking behind your back and laughing at your expense. I guess that part was just more relatable for me–that’s when my heart really broke for Christen. A more subtle form of bullying, but just as nasty in my opinion!

    11. Completely agree! I felt so bad when Christen had no idea what Amanda and Sarah were laughing at, when it was her. And Amanda is a mom to 2 girls. You would think she would have used better judgement.

      1. ^^Agreed. I thought there was A LOT of mean girl things going on. So my thought on this girl code thing is also that in this setting it doesn’t totally apply. A) Matt was clearly not really as into Jasmine as she was. He is the one that went to find Christen to tell her he was NOT in a couple with Jasmine. He was just too passive to say that directly. B) The whole point is to date around and see if there is a connection. You don’t get to claim anyone on the first round and then be that upset when the new person 3 weeks in asks someone on a date. Not that it wouldn’t sting, but it’s a really juvenile response.

        In saying all of that, ALL of those girls minus Raven were horrific toward her. All of them. People rally around the bully and it seemed pretty clear that Jasmine was bullying her. She was rallying the troops and they were all openly talking about her, making fun of her, name calling, threatening…..

        I appreciate you attempting to have empathy for Jasmine. You are right. Hurt people, hurt people. However, I feel like you really minimized what those girls were doing.

        You are one of my favorite Bachelorette’s. But mean is mean.

    12. Honestly I discounted majority of what Ali says here after she says: “First, I really felt bad for Christen (I really wish she spelled is Kristen)”

      Why do you wish she spelled her name differently? Why did you think that was important or relevant to include? I’m almost positive Christen had zero say in what she was named or how it was spelled, so why do you wish she spelled “is” Kristen?

      Not only was that offputting, but it contained the first of many grammatical errors. If you’re going to be a self-important blogger, at least give your writing a good ol’ spell check.

      So yeah sorry Ali your entire opinion has been discounted to me.

      And on the discussion of bullying, ANYONE participating in a negative conversation about someone else without that person being there to defend themselves is a co-bullying-conspirator. If Christen had been there, different story, she could have had the opportunity to either laugh along or ask that they stop.

      But since she wasn’t, it should have been up to her “friends” or at least the good samaritans, to say something.

      That’s all!!!

    13. Thank you for taking a stand on bullying…I am surprised the shows producers are not discouraging it. It sends a message that it’s ok by airing the nasty and cruel remarks. The scallop finger jokes are horrible and NOT funny and I’m not impressed with the women who seem to think it is so hilarious!
      I truly think some of the women are jealous of Christin…no other reason to ridicule her.
      Anyway, I think you are a good influence on young women. You seem to be fun but able to remain kind, so keep up the stand against ANY form of bullying.

      1. I totally agree. She has something they cannot get back so they are jealous.Bringing up “scallops” was their way to make fun of her without taking heat for attacking her V-card !

    14. I thought they were awful to Christen,most particularly, Jasmine Raven and the twins.Jasmine broke “girl code” going after the guy Canada and no one said a thing.I think I know what this was about. They wanted to “shame” her for her virginity but thought they would take alot of heat for it. They just wanted to dislike Christen so they grasped on to anything to diss her for. People go all crazy if someone is”slut shamed” but virgins are put down too . Boys are less bad about virgin shaming than girls. I think these mean girls just wanted a reason, any reason to do this.

        1. Agreed! Definitely something true between Wells and Danielle. Sad they aren’t together? Or are they? Isn’t Danielle in Africa now?

    1. Ali, I hope is really with Danielle. They really do have a great connection both friends and emotionally. That is what makes love work long term. I hope he isn’t the bachelor for that reason.

      1. Hope not most of the men on BIP are do not know how to treat a woman and just play games. They are not the best of the best of bachelor nation. As an older woman I wouldn’t want my daughter with any of those men. Most of them are players.

        1. Agreed Lyn. Dean playing Kristina and D-Lo. Telling them both what they want to hear and not making a decision. If he wants to date them both, fine but to basically make them each think they would get his rose is mean. Adam playing Raven and Sarah. Basically telling them both they will get his rose. Diggy was the only man who told it to the other girl straight. And I am glad that Matt got out of Paradise. He will do far better in real life than with the young girls. Good luck!

  2. First, I just want to say that I love your blog and your insight into the show! I also thought the scallop story was funny when Alexis was telling it and I was dying laughing at Wells imitating Alexis telling it. However, I think it was taken way too far after that point. Jasmine was out of control and I was pretty disappointed that none of the other girls called her out on her behavior or defended Christen. Isn’t dating what the show is all about? I do think Matt should have been more up front with Jasmine about the fact that he told Christen that he was available.

    I was also disappointed in Amanda and Sarah for laughing right in front of Christen about the shrimp. I didn’t think it was funny and it was pretty immature of them, to be honest. It’s a horrible feeling to know that people are laughing at you and you don’t know why.

    1. Agreed 100%! Amanda and Sarah were very immature. And Amanda’s comment about christen not even having a plate? How rude! Who does Amanda think she is? She makes a living off these cheesy reality shows. She shouldn’t be so judgy. Plus she’s a mom. Super disappointing.

      1. Ali as a mother I think you are one of the best role models that bachelor nation has produced but I will say that Amanda and Sarah are not what I would say are role models I would want any of my children to immolate. They are catty and a bit mean spirited when it comes to others on the show. I was super disappointed in the choice of women they chose. As for Jasmine she should have gone because she was down right rude. Girl code or not she only knew Matt what a couple of days and expected Christen to move over and not get to know him when Matt told her that is was ok. It wasn’t like they knew each other and were a thing for a long period of time. I would think girl code would apply in this case. Showing respect is one thing but going to dinner and getting to know someone especially Christen who has kept herself pure is another. Not like she was going to jump into to bed with him. Jasmine on the other had showed what type of young girl she was by her behavior when they returned by jumping on him and throwing herself at him. That was so disrespectful to not only to Matt but to herself. Just think it could have gone down better and maybe Matt would have stayed and maybe have picked her is she had showed some grace and self respect. Instead she showed herself a fool. Not good.

        1. I too think Jasmine acted ridiculous climbing on Matt like she did after his date with Christen! She made such a fool of herself. I liked her before all this drama and have second thoughts now! She was clingy and so sure of herself after such a short time with Matt!

      2. So many things bothered me about this episode. The bullying, the “mean girls”, ostracizing the new girl… so many things. It also bothers me that Amanda keeps leaving her children to be on these stupid dating shows. She’s not even into anyone but staying there anyway, therefore, not spending time with her young girls…

        1. Yes! I’ve been thinking the same thing about Amanda. She’s condescending and acts like she’s doing everyone a favor by being there, when in fact she should be home with her girls. One time is one thing. Stop bullying and go home Amanda.

    2. Everybody blames Christen for asking Matt out. But i think that if Matt was in love with Jasmine he would not go. So why getting so mad when he did not got strong feelings for Jasmine. The same with Dean. He does not have strong feelings for Kristen.

      1. I think they want to not like her because of her virginity. They do not get why a guy would date her so they want to diss her. This makes them feel superior.

    3. Agreed! Eating shrimp on a beach in Mexico is not that far fetched. Heck when I’m at the beach I eat seafood constantly. I realize they had just heard the scallop story but good grief they all walk around with food in their hands on this show so the fact that she was carrying literally ONE shrimp in her had isn’t that funny either even given the story they’d been told.

    4. And also what is the big deal about eating a shrimp with your hand lol, you all are at a beach! I actualyl think it’s weirder if she was going around with a plate and cutlery and all…

  3. This show is a joke and everyone knows it! You can over think this until you are blue in the face but it is still a shit show. I realize that you need this franchise to keep you credible but surely you have more to offer than this.

    1. Why read her blog if you feel this way? Very rude comment. If you follow for the fashion then fine, but then don’t comment on things you don’t care about. Keep rude comments to yourself!

    2. Why in the heck are you reading it in the first place? And what the heck does credibility have to do with anything? Just wondering, not hating, especially on a post that SPECIFICALLY talks about bullying. GOOD VIBES.

  4. Aly,

    In my opinion I dont think Christen did wrong by asking Matt. Let me explain why. If Matt was truly into Jazz he would not have gone out with Christen. In my opinion if a guy is talking to me but then meets some other girl who he might be more interested in, then by all means try it out. Because the last thing I want to do it make a guy like me who does not like me as much as I want him to. And it is so obvious that Matt was not 100% into Jazz, so he tried going out with Christen. Matt waited and wanted to even speak to Christen and explained to her that he was not exclusive with Jazz, and that he wanted to go on the date with her. So HE told HER he wanted to go out with her. If anything Jazz should be mad at Matt, because he didnt come clean with her and tell her BEFORE talking to Christen that he might be interested in Christen. I never wanted a guy to not be 100% into me, if he was not..then he can leave. I would want to be more worth it to him than that.

    1. Yeah, sorry Ali, but how much of a couple could Matt and Jasmine be if Matt himself told Christen he would like to go out with her?

      And none of the scallop/shrimp thing was funny. None of it. As soon as it became clear that this girl was being made fun of by pretty much everyone, for something so petty, it was disgusting.

      Also, if a male contestant had made threats like Jasmine did, it would be a totally different story. But Jasmine is “good TV” and that’s all it’s about, right? Sickening double standard.

      1. AMEN! Last night was the most immature, disgusting episode. Nothing was funny beyond Wells imitating Alexis, and only because my husband imitates me in the same way.

      1. I get that. But isn’t it the nature of the show? I don’t know what Jasmine and Christen’s relationship was like before Paradise, but the exact scenario just happened with Danielle asking out Dean and Sarah asking out Adam. They had both been on dates with other girls (especially Dean going back with Kristina during the break) and a new girl came in and they accepted dates. Jasmine was way over the line and I think everyone knew it, but were too scared to cross her.

        1. I agree completely! So it’s ok for the other new girls to take out guys who were “kind of involved” with other girls, but because jasmine is the ultimate mean girl, Christen should have been afraid of her? No, I’m glad she took him. Jasmine has a lot of growing up to do and that all was made evident last night. Along with Amanda and Sarah. Also, how gross was that when Alexis tried to feed jack that dead crab?? Omg… These girls on this show are too much this season. None of this was funny. Just mean and gross.

          I feel like the during crew should’ve done a better job for last night’s episode. They made all these girls look really mean.

        2. I think she should have spoken to Jasmine, however, when she first came in they were talking about her and making fun of her. She wasn’t in on their mean girl jokes. The whole premise of Paradise is to find love and Jasmine couldn’t have been that surprised that he may go out with another girl. She was over the top threatening and bullish, actually pretty scary, to the point where I would be reluctant if I were a guy to go out with her. She is obsessive and has anger issues. I didn’t find it good t.v., I found it to be disturbing t.v. T.V that proves how mean girls are to each other, and unkindness is rampant right now on Paradise. I have Never even watched Paradise before, I always thought, I love the bachelor and believe in True Love, but Paradise seemed very scandalous. I started watching because there is a person there who was on the Bachelorette and I see him every now and then and my husband and I hope he finds love. Funny thing is I told him, I saw you on the Bacchelor and he laughed! Haha

        3. I agree, game over girl/person code in the scenario. Albeit this is a very unusual circumstance given the very nature of the structure of BIP. Most of the time being a decent human being and not snatching up other people’s romantic interests is ideal.

      2. I feel like it was the same scenario with D-lo and Kristina. But no one went out of their way to bully and threatened D-lo?? So really christen did nothing wrong or different then D-Lo. I felt so bad for her, EVERYONE was acting so immature and gossiping non stop. I felt like I was watching a click of high school kids gang up her her. So pathetic. I still like the show but seriously loosing interest in the people and relationships (or lack thereof) forming.

        1. I don’t get how he played them both. He was obviously not into Jasmine as much as she was into him. His actions alone were a sign. She threw herself at him time and again and he didn’t reciprocate her advances. He not only told Christen he wanted to go on the date but he told Jasmine he was going to go. When Jasmine confronted Christen she told Jasmine then that Matt had come to her saying he wanted to go on the date. He didn’t play anyone IMO

      3. I agree that she should have talked to Jasmine first and told her that Matt approached her and said he would like to be invited on the date. Then it is fair game. Isn’t that the point of the show? And why they bring new people on each week?

      4. You shouldn’t be on a reality tv dating show like Paradise and then claim girl code though. Girl code applies in the real world. And only between friends.

      5. Girl code, really?! It’s Bachelor in Paradise! Everyone dates everyone. What about D-lo and Christina? Nobody was mad about that. And they were all mean to Christin about the scallops. It wasn’t acceptable from anyone whether you thought it was funny or not. They were all laughing at her behind her back.

    2. FINALLY someone has mentioned it! It was so dissapointing to see jasmine and christine get pitted againist eachother when infact MATT was the one who went upto her (not the other way around) to basically say he doesnt feel the same way as jazz and wants to explore his option. Jaz didnt get upset at matt for anything she just blatantly attacked christen and at the end matt looked normal on tv while jazz and christen were either the villan or the butt of a joke. Which was actually really uncomfortable to watch, even the wells puppeteering was really lame and just made it much worse.

  5. I get it that Jasmen’s actions were pretty deplorable and she does owe a few apologies, however with that being said, bullying is one thing, but bullying a bully is just no better. Jasmen’s wall is chalk full and bullying remarks toward her. Let’s build each other up. Women are strong and powerful. Let’s forgive and move on to bigger and better issues. United we stand. ❀️

    1. I’d love to agree with you, but no. Nothing changes if people who actually badly don’t feel the consequences of their behavior. Jasmine deserves some push-back for what she gave back. But no one deserves threats of violence, which is something Jasmine also gave, btw, and something the other girls joked about. Since when is getting choked a funny thing??? In other circles we’d call that abuse, harassment, and, if taken too far, manslaughter or murder. Why do the show and people on it make light of choking? How come that psycho guy from last year got booted for making threats but Jasmine and her crew treat it like a joke? Can we talk about THAT?

      1. Jasmine should be removed from the show! Her behavior and chocking tendencies don’t need to be aired. She needs therapy

  6. I was pretty disappointed in the episode tonight. A lot of the behavior exhibited by the girls about the whole scallop thing was inappropriate and it should have been stopped. And the guys were being very immature by not just being honest and telling the girls that they weren’t feeling it. It hurts to have the truth told to you by a guy that you like but it’s so much better in the long run. That’s why I applaud Diggy, he was honest even when it was tough. He’s the only one I admired tonight. Thank you, Ali, for pointing out the flaws and being very gracious to the people. You’re a class act.

  7. I totally agree with everything you said! Jasmine – and the others – took it too far and it was very immature. Wells is the best!
    And it doesn’t hurt that he’s so dang cute! Wells for the next Bachelor!!

  8. I am disappointed with BIP this season. I don’t like the format, for goodness sake it is taking 3 weeks to get to a rose ceremony. Social media said there are people there that have boyfriends at home. Not sure if true or not but social media said both Corinne and Alexis have a boyfriend at home. I have not heard of any guys having a girlfriend. I think Wells would make a great bachelor and depending on how BIP plays out for Raven would love to see her as the next Bachelorette. I have been a devoted fan of this franchise but am wondering if time to bring to a close. There has not been a couple get married since Shawn and Katherine which has been almost 4 years. I was sad when Ben and Lauren split up because I really that they were going to make it. Not as surprised Nick and Vanessa called of their engagement but still sorry for them.

    1. What about Tanner and Jade and Carly and Evan and Desiree and Chris ??? There have been more than Sean’s season to get wed and have babies even…
      Bullying is not cool!!! Bad children but editing is key on these shows so only they who were there know exactly what happened πŸ™‚

  9. I love that you spoke out against this so quickly. The other girls need to learn to be their own indivisible and not just go along with whatever the group is doing. Amanda looked pathetic when she dragged the joke out in a later scene, when it seemed like they had finally buried it.

    Jasmine. Why does everyone’s feel like they are under her reign? Her behavior was ridiculous. One thing to add about the violence you mentioned – we’ve already seen that this is her. Do you remember when she pushed Corrine over during that beach volleyball game? At the time, the girls weren’t Corrine’s biggest fans, but it was so uncalled for. She needs to check herself.

    1. Agreed that Amanda took it too far. She wasn’t even there, she was just making fun of someone she never met, based on another girl’s terrible and I am sure embellished story.

  10. I don’t think Alexis is a mean girl, but she definitely fuels the fire and instigates stuff which is just as bad as being a mean girl. I think Alexis and Jasmine just think they’re too cool for school are better than everyone and they need to just stop. Yeah, Christen probably shouldn’t have taken Matt, but I don’t think Christen and Jasmine were even friends at all before this (clearly – they all think she’s gross because of the scallop incident which is just silly), so I don’t think she necessarily broke girl code – Jasmine isn’t one of her girls at all. She went out with someone who expressed interest in her and who told her he was available. Poor Christen.

  11. It’s amazing each season the contestants get older and less mature. They should all be embarrassed! Seriously they are all adults not even young adults. No wonder they’re all single.

    1. YES! Thank you. These are ADULTS who are single for a reason. Last night’s episode was just sad and embarrassing to watch.

  12. I would love to see Wells as the next bachelor. Right now, I can’t think of anyone else I would want as the bachelor besides Wells. I love your dress.I have a gingham shirt I wear all the time……………Chery

  13. I’m not sure why Christen was getting so much hate from the women on BIP for asking Matt on her date when D-Lo did the same thing with Dean and Sarah did the same thing with Adam. It’s exactley the same. Why didn’t D-Lo or Sarah suffer any repercussions for their similar actions? Also, Sarah and Amanda looked like immature, mean girls. They were blatantly laughing at Christen in her face and not letting her in on the joke. That’s just rude and hurtful. I really liked Amanda up until this point. I just hope her daughters never experience the treatment she gave Christen. It was a pretty disappointing episode with women tearing each other down. Also, Wells is adorable, but he was kind of being mean too.

  14. Hi Ali! First, I see you have not hesitated to take an ethical stance on several prior occasions, including this one and I commend you. There’s a distinct difference between making mistakes and just being mean-spirited. This is now the SECOND time during BIP4 that different forms of bullying have failed to be addressed on-air by the producers &/or any members of the cast. I hope everyone finds their forever love and enjoys forever happiness, I truly do. However, with great power comes great responsibilty (always wanted to say that). It is my opinion that the show has begun to immorally slide down the ‘ole slippery slope by choosing to address some, but NOT ALL, very serious, societal issues that arise in a timely manner. It was heartbreaking to see multiple cast members disgracefully mocking/body shaming Alex. Now the scallop “jokes” went undebateably far beyond clean humor and quickly turned into blatant bullying. It doesn’t matter what Alex & Christen heard or didn’t hear at the time the nauseating comments were spewed. The very moment the comments were televised, they became victims. We know one thing for certain. Both Alex & Christen were emotionally affected because they both made references to it on their twitter accounts shortly after their respective incidents aired. I will give everyone involved the benefit of the doubt that behind the scenes, all appropriate apologies were made. Unfortunately, the viewers only see and hear what they see and hear, thus it is up to the show to publicly clean up the mess they CHOSE to air for those all important ratings. Will they? I hope so, but I have my doubts. Just because the bullying didn’t come from a Chad-like villain, doesn’t mean there still aren’t 1000s of victims of bullying out there who suffered personal experiences similar to that of Alex or Christen. I believe it’s highly likely the aforementioned 1000s of victims had horrific personal flashbacks as they listened to the prolonged, mean-spirited laughing & watched NOBODY address it nor stand-up against it. Finally, I will not mention any names here, but PLEASE tell me I misheard one of the cast members say he/she considered pushing/punching another cast member who was guilty only of following the show’s rules of asking another cast member out on a date? Again, this too went shamefully unaddressed during the remainder of the aired episode. I understand emotions can run high for a host of reasons, but isn’t this all a microcosm of society’s main problem these days? Too many people claiming they are “100% correct about everything” while simultaneously being indifferent to the suffering of those they disagree with? We can ALL be more civilized. We have to be. Future generations are relying on all of us to do better and be better. Best wishes to you, your family, and ALL peace-loving people everywhere.

  15. Not a fan of Jasmine anymore!! Don’t know if her actions were suggested by producers, if she was playing it up for the camera or if she is just mean spirited but it made her look come across as a bully!!! Very unattractive!!

  16. Wow. Reading all the comments, which i 1000000: agree with, i hope BIP producers, chris harrison and jasmine reads this blog and/or have been brought to attention, the meanness, bullying, and outright disgustingness that this episode brought.

  17. I lost respect for Jasmine after last night’s episode. Her behaviour was not cool at all.
    That being said, I don’t think Christen did anything wrong.
    Matt SOUGHT HER OUT…told her he would be interested in going on a date with her, and that was that. Sorry…that’s the name of the game.
    Remember when Sarah came in and Raven said to her (about Adam) go and have a good time and don’t worry about me?? That is what a kind and classy person does.
    Jasmine was way out of line. And Amanda and Sarah should also be ashamed of themselves. Amanda has two daughters…she needs to consider that more often. I’m not a fan of her at all these days…

    1. Yes!! I don’t understand how nobody cared about that part and Jasmine just got to be psycho on christen?? She’s too much and I hate how aggressive she is. I would’ve never asked Matt simply because I would think she’d do something crazy in retaliation

    2. I think being on these shows and all that comes with it has totally gone to Amanda’s head and it’s changing who she is. Not cool.

  18. I have to disagree about Wells and the puppets. I found it gross that he used the puppets twice to bring up Christen’s breast implants.

    Also, Matt should’ve told Christen no or admitted to Jasmine that he told Christen he was open to going. That said, Christen should’ve given Ben Z a chance. It would’ve worked out way better for her!

  19. I was so appalled by Jasmine’s behavior last night. I will agree with everyone about Sarah and Amanda joining in all the bullying. I say that because when I was in high school I was bullied and laughed at by people who had a cruel inside joke about me. They gave me a rude nickname and they, and their friends, would laugh about it in front of me. And even now, as a young adult, it still hurts. So, I have been in Christen’s shoes and it is NOT fun. I can’t imagine what it was like to bullied on national television!

  20. On this episode of “Mean Girls”… I too was disgusted by the ladies’ behavior. It would have been one thing if they had told the scallops story with Christen, and laughed with her, but to laugh behind her back is unacceptable. The award for beating a dead horse is a tie between Taylor and Jasmine. Taylor and Derek are just learning each other, and he made a mistake, so she should have been more forgiving after his apology. Jasmine reminded me of the obsessed woman who boiled the pet rabbit. She got scary, even though it was pretty clear that Matt wasn’t as in to her as she was into him. I also felt sorry for Alex when people made fun of his height. Cruelty is not acceptable.

  21. I never in my life have been so annoyed and frustrated watching a BIP episode. I can’t believe ABC aired that much of Jasmine being so rude and fueling her fire. I’m so hurt for Kristen. How unfair. I think Jasmine deserves to be sent home. That is such an unattractive trait to have, and now it’s been shown on national television.

    1. I totally agree. The Jasmine story line got very old, very quickly. I know a lot of editing is done on these shows, but honestly, I saw no reason why Matt should not have gone on the date with Christen. The “feelings” thing seemed to be one sided – with Jasmine having them all and she was acting so immature. It appears at times that Matt just doesn’t know how to handle her personality. I did not enjoy the show last night. My favorite part was looking at the guys faces in the background wondering what they were thinking being surrounded by a group of mean girls. What about Ben Z? Does no one recognize a nice guy when they see one? Getting very frustrated with this season of BIP. This cast seems to be very divided between the matured and immature. Just my honest opinion.

      1. This is exactly how I feel about last night’s episode. It could be simple editing, but any time Jasmine was shown around Matt it was Jasmine throwing herself at him without realizing his lack of reciprocation. She was crawling on him, planting kisses on him, etc., and he looked like he didn’t know how to react most times so he awkwardly smiled and walked away. Christen had every right to ask him on the date, that’s the premise of the show AND he sought her out for the date. All of the Christen hate seems to come from instances off camera, before BIP, so her taking Matt on the date was the excuse for bullying her. As for Ben Z., why do they have to keep editing to show him talking about his dog? We all know he talks about more than just his dog with people… this is Josh and the pizza all over again.

  22. No, I don’t think Wells would want to be the next Bachelor! He loves his life the way it is & I think he genuinely wants to find out if there is anything between him and Danielle : ))

    1. Agree with you.I don’t think he wants to do it . Maybe I’m in the minority but I wouldn’t watch his season if it’s him. I think he’s great and funny but I thought he was immature with the puppets. I would rather see Eric or someone else as the next bachelor.

  23. Yes I absolutely agree with you last night was just sad to watch with that mean girl behavior! Poor Christen seemed to be on the outs from the moment she came in and it was a dumb idea for her to ask Matt but I feel like Jasmine totally skipped over the part where he sought her out on the beach and said he was open to a date and wanted to go?? How is it just on Christen? I always hate when a guy does something shady and the girl is the only one blamed?? Sarah and Amanda took it too far too of course it was funny with the shrimp but sitting there laughing hard at her face when she knew and was asking what she was missing was just over the top! I don’t care for those girls anymore. Taylor always bugs me with her “emotional intelligence” talks but last night she didn’t show any! Ok so him saying that wasn’t nice but you ask for space don’t be mean when someone listens. I think she just wanted some drama and for people to feel bad for her yet again.

  24. I put some of the blame on Matt for the way the Jasmine-Christen date went down. While talking to Jack, Matt sought out Christen. He went out of his way to explain what his situation was because he was interested in going on a date with her. He obviously wasn’t in the same place that Jasmine was but is too nice to be able to be completely honest with her because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Matt should have told Jasmine that he told Christen he was open to a date. Christen wanted to go on a date with someone who wanted to date her. He made her feel wanted, like he was choosing her instead of the other way around (with Jack or Ben). It’s a weird situation so I understand Jasmine being upset but it is what you signed up for. Also, love Wells but a part of me what’s him with Danielle instead of being the bachelor 😬

  25. I, too, have never been so saddened and frustrated by an episode of BIP. It was appalling to me. Cliques galore. As others have mentioned, Christen’s actions were absolutely consistent with Sarah and Danielle’s actions. Yet she received battery unlike I’ve ever seen before. I agree that Matt seems like a stand up man, however, he should have stood up for his own actions and feelings and nipped the situation in the bud. My heart broke for Christen as I pictured how I would have felt in her shoes. I, quite honestly, was more upset about this situation than I ever was with the whole Corrine/DeMario situation. Frustrates and disappoints me so much.

  26. It seems that nobody has really addressed the Taylor situation yet, so here goes…I completely understand why she was hurt by her conversation with Derek, especially if she has experiences some unhealthy relationships where that type of language was the norm. It has clearly had a big effect on her and he should have worked to understand why she was so upset. However….I have noticed that when she is doing the one-on-one’s with the camera, she uses that type of language all the time in normal conversation. They are always bleeping words out when she talks, even moreso during last night’s episode. I believe that when you use swear words in everyday conversation, other people think it is ok to use that type of language around you. Derek absolutely should not have said what he said in that situation, but it probably never crossed his mind that it would have that much of an effect on Taylor because of how she conducts herself.

  27. I thought they were all being bullies and am happy to see you post this the bullying is not ok. What I don’t understand though is why Matt’s not getting any heat. He flat out told Christen that there wasn’t anything there with him and Jasmine. Shame on him for letting Christen take the heat and not being upfront and honest with Jasmine from the get-go.

    1. Agree 100%. When Dean was being flaky last week with Kristina and D-Lo, everyone, including this blog, called him out. Now when Matt goes and tells Christen that he wants a date and he is not “spoken for” and she asks him out, somehow she is the villain in all this. Wrong! Jasmine acted inappropriately. This show is about finding someone you are compatible with – exploring different relationships. And the editing this season is horrible!

  28. I agree with all of the above! I can’t watch Jasmine. She drives me nuts. I understand why she was mad and I understand that Cristen broke girl code (that was wrong) but I also never felt like Matt really liked her so it was worse to watch jasmine blow up. It was just an annoyance to watch. As for scallop fingers…not cool. I felt so bad for her! Same thing about them making fun of Alex for being short.
    Oh and Wells! I have b en a fan since day 1!!!! Wells and that beanie he wears 😍! Wells definitely for bachelor!

  29. I would LOVE wells for the new bachelor and I hope Danielle is one of the girls on the show. I would love to see that blossom. I get where people can see where Christen was wrong but at the same time I feel like she should have the same opportunity everyone else had to get to know anyone. On the flip side of that was it not a red flag to her when Jasmine said he was mine, stone said he was hers and then Matt said no im open. That would have been a red flag to me from Matt that he was there to play games. He did the right thing by leaving because he really caused the storm. As far as Jasmine she was WAY out of line. The show needs to take threats of physical violence very serious. I think that was distasteful on their part.

  30. My friend and I watch together but chat on the phone during the show (she lives in Buffalo, NY and I live in North Jersey). We both ended with complete confusion on what happened last night. I couldn’t agree with you more that the bullying of Christen went too far…she is going to get so down on herself (I hope she stays strong) and feel sad. We were so sad to see how far it went…BIP you should know better!!! As far as girl code, while I agree, Matt is also to blame as he came to her telling her he wanted to be open. It was clear to me that he wasn’t as into Jas as she was with him, but he should have been honest and told her. That said I think he was scared of how she would react and in the end I think he just bailed out because he didn’t want to hurt anyone. As far as the Derek/Taylor thing, we didn’t even understand why he said that too her because it didn’t seem they were even fighting. He was wise to give her the space she needs, but he also needs to learn that when a girl says she is fine, we all know that is not true. I do feel that Taylor knows how to manipulate people and that just might be due to her youth. I am glad she gave him a chance to explain himself instead of just ending it on a bad note. Wells stole the show and was hilarious with his puppets and I hope this continues!!!!

  31. I agree with this, and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who was disappointed by the events! Mostly by the “scallop” comments. Did anyone else notice ABC actually joined in and put “scallop fingers” under Christens name as her description?! This show is ridiculous and this episode makes me want to tune out for the rest of the season!

  32. It’s a paradise show so people need to come there with open eyes and that trying different guys and girls would be the theme. Jasmine could have showed more class in her response as she went a notch down with her aggressive stance. I think some of it was also her feeling hurt and dismissed by both Mat and Christen, understandably so. Christen did arrive after Jasmine and Mat established some kind of a connection and that in itself should have been acknowledged by Christen. Heck there were so many other cute guys available. Christen knew exactly what she was doing so she does not get a pass from me. If roles were swap would she be okay with it! Mat does not get a pass either. He should have manned up and told Jasmine he wants to explore more options, instead he runs to Christen, the “new” arrival who is always “fresh” for a new York minute. He took the easy way out and ran. If he was into anyone of those girls he would have stayed and fought for her. I would suggest the girls who have connections, watch Christen closely because there is a girl code.

  33. I never thought the jokes were funny! I think it may have been haha in the moment but I feel should have been completely stopped. I do wonder if it wasn’t talked about as much as shown and edited to be like the only conversation they had. Wells however, SO FUNNY. Personally I want him and Danielle together so I don’t want him to be the next bachlor but I am game for it if there not feeling each other! As far as Amanda and Sarah as long as they let Christen in on the joke I don’t mind that that laughed but I didn’t love there body laungae torwards her. As far as Christen breaking girl code if her and Jazmine were never friends as Jazmine stated she never liked her, then all is fair in love and war. I think that is PART OF paradise, & I think it was clear Matt was just not that into Jazmine. Although I get her frustration because let’s face it, if ANYONE tried to take our men I think all of our claws would come out and in an environment where there’s no “getting away” from the situation all you can do is sit and fester! Anyway I LOVE reading your blogs and watching Molly grow as I was pregnant with you & had my baby a few weeks after so I check up with you to see what I’ll be going through next πŸ˜‰

  34. Well thank you for saying this! I was totally confused/disgusted last night when the whole scallop fingers thing was going on. I would really like BIP to know that something like that is not good TV, it is bullying. It makes me not want to watch the show. I’m fine with a little drama but that took it to the next level. I don’t excuse any of the girls that were in on the joke, any one of them could have stood up and been decent human being and they chose not to. I love Wells but even his puppets at the end were making fun of her, I know it was supposed to be all in fun but I wonder if she’ll see it that way. If I was Christen I would feel pretty labelled!!
    I would like to see Wells at the Bachelor though!

  35. I absolutely love wells!! I think him and Danielle are perfect for each other but he would also be a great bachelor! I think they are going to keep him as the bar tender for BIP for a few seasons. I agree with you and Taylor, if you tell someone to leave do not get mad if you do! However if that is the one thing she needs to work on I will take it! I love them together!

  36. I love Wells but I really do hope he is NOT the bachelor. I want him and Danielle to get together!
    Now, that BS bullying was horrifying. Even the girls laughing was NOT OK! Amanda should know better, they all should, but Amanda has to small girls. Does she really want them to get treated that way! She needs to be setting the example. She really pissed me off last night, of all people.
    I really like Taylor. She is not someone a lot of people like, but I do. And you are correct, she is young and that I think played into the whole “leave me alone” thing. And maybe she has been hurt from past experiences, that could be part of the issue as well.
    But that eps was horrible! Those girls were just plain mean!

  37. I agree with so much of this, but I also fundamentally disagree on a lot of it. It’s not surprising to me that Christen is getting blamed for “breaking girl code,” but it does make me sad. Instead of blaming her, let’s look at Matt’s actions. He made it abundantly clear that he wanted to go on a date with her. Also, why aren’t we shaming D.Lo for going on a date with Dean? Why aren’t we talking about Dominique going on a date with Diggy? Because it’s Paradise, this is how it works, and most importantly it’s a two way street. It’s unfair to blame one more than the other.

    I also disagree that Amanda and Sarah were blameless. Their actions were insensitive and just plain mean. I’ve been Christen in this scenario, and to watch it play out in front of me broke my heart. The moral of the story is that bullying definitely isn’t cool, and I appreciate you speaking out on it!

    Also, I love Wells, but he was on Ashley I and Ben’s podcast and said he wasn’t interested in being the Bachelor! But we’ll see πŸ™‚

  38. Agree with basically everything said. My biggest disappointment was that producers of the show put “Scallop Fingers” on the screen as Christen’s name. I’m sure they thought it was funny but for PRODUCERS of the show to stoop to the bullying level is not cool at all.

    1. Agree!!! Even my husband who was half watching it had me rewind it so he could point it out and was in awe that they would put that up there.

  39. Hi Ali,
    This is actually the first episode that I felt sooo uncomfortable with watching. I was sooo sad that they allowed so much bullying to be portrayed on TV. I am so disappointed. My heart breaks for Christen and how she must feel after watching all this back.

  40. I’ve never commented on anyone’s blog before but something you wrote rubbed me the wrong way…you say you don’t blame Amanda and Sarah for laughing at Christen but they were literally laughing UNCONTROLLABLY in her face. To me, that too is bullying. Anyways, I enjoy your insta stories and blog. You have an adorable little family. πŸ˜€

  41. Last night episode there were a lot of not cool moments πŸ™ At the end of the day reality TV or not , these ppl all have feelings and will go back and watch themselves . Let’s hope there are some eye openers when that happens . With that being said I’m sure they would do it differently if given the chance . I would hope anyways !! But there are still a lot of great things that have come from this show , the happy couples that are still together and now growing a family πŸ™‚ πŸ’•

    But I have to ask , Why Dean Why ??? It’s so obvious that one really wants him for right reason and other one doesn’t !!! I wish I could jump through the TV lol

  42. I think the saddest part about this episode was when Christin first walked up to Amanda and Sarah and you could hear Christin tell Amanda how much she had looked forward to meeting her and then immediately, Amanda and Sarah started laughing at her. My heart broke for her in that moment. I was really disappointed in Amanda. You would think as a mother, she would know better!!

  43. I love Wells! I just don’t think he would make a good bachelor. I think he is funny and I love watching him on tv… but I just don’t think he is ready at this moment in his life to get serious and actually look for a wife. He seems to just want to have fun and take things light (just basing off what I see… obviously don’t know him lol) and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    I also don’t think Alexis is harmless and as nice as everyone else thinks. I feel like she really instigates other people and absolute knows what she is doing. Whenever someone is talking trash about someone else… I feel like Alexis is a part of it somehow every single time.

    Last nights episode really just broke my heart. I didn’t find any of the scallops comments or story funny… even with Wells doing it. And I think the producers took it WAY too far when they put “scallop fingers” under her name for the rest of the episode. Seriously? The whole thing was just mean.

    And can I just say good for Taylor for sticking up for herself. Talking to each other with that type of language isn’t healthy in any sort of relationship! But I also want to give kuddos to Derek for the way he handled it afterwards. I like what I see between the two of them!

  44. I completed agree with you Ali…Jasmine was way out of line. I think her jealousy got the best of her and she went all ghetto on poor Christen. They both only knew Matt for such a short period of time and he was not worth all that drama & chao. They both should of been strong independent woman and say “bye boy” as soon as he was pursing both of them. And on another note Kristina needs to gain self worth too because she is letting sweet talking Dean walk all over her. No man is worth that much desperation. It’s kinda of sad to watch. Taylor needs to drop all the emotional this, emotional that talk…it’s annoying because it’s all she talks about. This season isn’t good at all and I already know no one ends up getting engaged at the end.

  45. I agree that the girls were taking it too far, with the joke. But let’s be honest … am I the only the only one that noticed the Matt had NO INTEREST in Jasmine!!!! Watching them together was painful πŸ˜– and she was attacking him and showed no interest in returning that affection. And if she wants to find love ❀️ she needs to calm down and stop being a MAN EATER .

  46. I think Jasmine made a complete Ass out of herself last night. She was so aggressive needy.
    She needs to go home.

    Wells is a cutie!!

  47. If you want people to stop bullying than you probably shouldn’t broadcast your feelings that you’d rather Christen spell her name Kristen….

  48. I really didn’t like the bullying either, but felt that Wells was just as much in on it, going on and on with his puppets and the scallops. I usually like him, but not cool.

    1. I am so disappointed with Jasmine, Wells, Amanda and Sarah…Alex is just being her goofy self. .. Dean, I loved Dean during Racheal season but now I’m not sure he is portraying anything to like. Of all the guys in BIP Matt stayed true to himself and he did right by existing

  49. Hi Ali,

    First, I absolutely love you and everything that you share! You are able to find the positive in every situation and really inspire others to do the same.

    As a teacher, bullying hits home with me. I have witnessed kids bully others and don’t even realize that what they are doing is bullying. Most don’t realize that their actions have lasting impacts on their peers.

    As I was watching the show, I was horrified with how much negative focus was on Christen. She probably shouldn’t have asked Matt on her date. However, she did. The wrath of everyone else was uncalled for. Alexis’s story was unnecessary and ruins Christen’s reputation amongst those that don’t know her. Amanda and Sarah may have had a nice conversation with her when they met her that evening if they hadn’t been so focused on what she was eating.

    I know that you said that Wells was a highlight for you. I was appalled at his continued commentary. He just kept going and going, only contributing to this poor girl’s reputation. In my classroom, Wells would have been in just as much trouble as Alexis was for starting the negative story. There is no reason to speak negatively about somebody else.

    Don’t get me wrong. Christen didn’t come off as an innocent bystander. She definitely stirred the pot (and it looks like she will continue to do so). However, that does not give anyone a green light to be a bully. Ever. You can disagree with people or not like them, but lashing out at their expense is never ok.

    1. Britta, I agree with you on all points. I’m a retired teacher and during my years of teaching, bullying was not tolerated.
      I was very disappointed in Amanda, Sarah and Wells behavior. They showed immaturity and mean-spirited behavior.
      Amanda should not be there, still. She has not been into Robby and finally gave in to his persistent, syrupy-sweet talk which he used on JoJo, too. I think Amanda is just enjoying a vacation with good food and drink and no responsibilities. She is sweet, but we have never heard her say much to Nick, Josh Murray or Robby except that their comments are “so sweet.”
      I liked Alexis’ humor and fun-loving spirit during Nick’s season, but I have not cared for her band-wagon gossiping and mean-girl comments this season of BIP. I am not surprised to hear she has a boyfriend at home. She has not shown any true interest in any of the men there, so far.
      I liked Sarah on Nick’s season and Ali’s podcast, but she is acting so desperate for a relationship and I think trying way too hard to convince Adam he should want her.
      I really don’t see any relationships, so far in the show that appear to be healthy and sustainable. Taylor and Derek are fragile and she bullies him, I think. He adores her and I think he’d be miserable with her in the long run. She is far too controlling, I think. Taylor’s way or you’re wrong!
      Kristina really wants to be loved by someone exclusively and Dean is not capable or wanting that right now. He has far too much growing up and sorting out of his past to deal with, in my opinion.
      Diggy is my favorite and he and Dom seem like they may continue to pursue their relationship outside of BIP. So far, neither of them has been rude, disrespectful or acting out of control.
      Lacey is desperate for a relationship, too. I am not at all a fan of Daniel’s, and I think I saw Lacey leap into his arms. I would not be into them developing a relationship because I think he would just use her to stay on the show. He says and does lots of things that disgust me.

      1. I agree with both of you, Liz and Britta!

        I’m very disappointed with this season of BIP. I agree that Diggy and Dom are the best couple so far.

  50. Thank you for posting this! I was so disappointed in last night’s show to the point I didn’t want to watch it because I felt guilty. I don’t want to give ratings to a show that allows such bullying. Here are my thoughts…
    1. I do understand there are parts we do not get to see, so we may have not seen the whole story(Amanda & Sarah for example). This episode was done in poor taste and that’s on ABC. ABC dropped the ball. Using Scallop Fingers under her name was not okay. That whole thing was taken way too far.
    2. Jasmine’s behavior is unacceptable. PERIOD. There needs to be repercussions for her actions. I love what you said about hurt people hurt people. I totally agree.
    3. I don’t think that Christen asking Matt out was wrong considering D-Lo and Dom just did the same thing. And the show is about dating and seeing if there is a connection. I don’t think it was wrong because she didn’t seem to have any intention of asking him until HE came up to her and told her he wanted to go on the date. HE initiated it. The situation could’ve been handled better BUT I don’t think she should get the grunt of it.
    4. Last night was the first time I had doubts about Amanda’s character. She is someone I have rooted for since the beginning and I hope that what we saw on the episode isn’t the whole truth and is just how the show was edited.
    5. I would love to see Wells as the next Bachelor! Goodness, I would love to be one of the women on that show! But I love the idea that he and Danielle are a couple so I’m a bit torn on that one.

    Thank you again for this! It was on my mind and I’m glad to see that there are others who felt the same way!

    1. I agree with everything you said. Jasmine’s behavior was awful last night. She is a mean-girl, although I think she really does want to be loved. She needs to completely undergo a serious attitude/behavior revamping. Her aggressive and mean comments and behavior are not in the least bit attractive.
      I think that Wells is a sweetheart and often very perceptive but he appears to be fairly immature and inexperienced with women for his age. I was soooo disappointed in his puppet acts/comments regarding Christen’s breast enhancement and scallop and shrimp eating. Poor taste and bullying, in my opinion.

  51. I agree both Amanda and Sarah were also being bullies. They were laughing at her and excluding her while she straight up asked them what was so funny. I didn’t get it and I was really upset with both of those girls for being bullies. Bullying is never okay. I love Wells he’s seems like a really nice guy. Much love to you Ali!

  52. Hi Ali,
    I wondered what your opinion is on the “girl code” situation between Raven and Sara. Didn’t Raven say she had seen Adam and Sara cuddling together before the show and knew Sara was into him? I know Sara and Raven are great friends, and maybe a lot is edited out, but I wonder why a conversation never took place between them. It seems like Raven going on a date with Adam, knowing Sara liked him and would eventually be there, is against girl code too. I feel like something had to take place offscreen for then to be good friends and still go after the same guy with not real drama involved. I would have like to know more about this that see Jasmine melt down for and hour. I just can decide which one I like more for Adam, or if both girls could do better.

  53. I agree a lot of MEAN GIRLS going on and I don’t like it . It’s not flaturing to any of them. And I don’t think Christen had a clear understanding they were a couple and if Jasmine and Matt were then he should not have accepted the date. In Christen’s defense coming in later than everyone they are not given enough time to choose who to ask. The way Jasmine presented herself even before hand I fine a bit disgusting sorry but I do and who could understand her in her hyper way of talking to begin with . I LOVE Wells and hope that he is the next Bachelor!!!

  54. Is it just me or did you guys feel that Matt played Christen? I think he did the right thing by exiting, but I was disappointed in him as well. I think Amanda and Sarah probably did share with Christen. I felt that was most likely edited.

  55. Wells did the whole scallop finger routine w the puppet at the end during outtakes. The entire episode was disturbing and immature.

  56. You hit the nail on the head with the Jasmine situation. My name is Jasmine too and she is making the Jasmine’s of the world look bad. I hope she can redeem herself because she’s acting like a bully and it’s not cute!

    I also am annoyed that Matt has not been held responsible for going on the date with Christen. He wanted to go out with her and I think Jasmine should’ve been honest with him about not wanting him to go and left it at that. This is making Jaz look petty!

  57. I think the editors of BIP were encouraging the bullying of Christen by playing up the scallop fingers story including the puppet show about her that Wells did at the end. They did not have to emphasize it like they did. NOT ok on any level. If I was her, I would be humiliated. I was bullied as a child and it is horrible. Shame on production for their edit.

  58. I really was very tired of the whole Jasmine show by the end of this episode. I was very disappointed in her and how she took it to a whole new level. Matt came and talked with her before going on the date, she was hesitantly ok…and you can tell Matt is not super into her or reciprocating to her…just saying.

  59. Also he whole point is to bring on new people who are attracted to the people who are already hooked up to create drama. If Christen should not have asked Matt, then Dean should not have asked JLo and Adam should not have asked Sarah. Is it ok for the men and to the women?

  60. I was finishing up the last bit of Paradise this morning ( I didn’t make it all the way through last night because I’m old πŸ™‚ ) and my 7 month old started laughing out loud at Wells and the puppets… I had no idea she was watching, she was in her playpen playing. So definitely the best part of the episode! πŸ™‚

  61. Hi Ali,

    I just wanted to bring two moments to light not to dispute, but simply to nuance, some of the points raised in your original blog above:

    1) As to the point that Christen should have respected the current couples–what about Matt’s role in all of this? Matt essentially interrupted Jack’s sit down with Christen (during, which he laid out the “couple map” of Paradise) to tell Christen that she was being fed false information, READ: he was no longer interested in coupling with Jasmine. We have to add this little piece of info to the information she was being fed by others. I read Sharleen Joynt’s blog for Flare (Bachelor news is my brain break for the day) and her only, mild critique of Christen was that she should have told Jasmine she was asking Matt on a date. If Matt and Jasmine were solid, then what did Jasmine care? I think all of this speaks to the fact that Jasmine did not wish to focus her ire on the true target (or to recognize her own insecurity over their connection–which is understandable): Matt. It was much, much easier for her to call Christen “home-wrecker,” than to see the writing on the wall. Matt should have been candid with her and told her he was not interested in anything exclusive. Leaving was taking the easy way out, quite frankly, as was his private little tete-a-tete with Christen. Had he been up front with Jasmine, perhaps much of the drama that ensued would have been avoided completely.

    2) You may have missed it, but during an ITM, Derek alludes to the fact that Taylor had been in a verbally abusive relationship, and that one of her trigger words (or phrases) was seemingly his use of “F*%& you.” Thus, perhaps Taylor was laying on the histrionics, or perhaps, she was genuinely brought back to that feeling of lowness and needed to cope with the feelings she had with some time to herself. I think Derek did an absolutely beautiful job of hearing her, taking in why those words hurt her so much, and clearing a path forward. I loved this moment of raw emotion between two people figuring each other out.

    Anyway, I just wanted to add these thoughts to the mix!

  62. I have to agree with you on the Jasmine situation. She just took it way too far with the way she treated Christen. In no way should she have ever threatened Christen and honestly I wish Christen would have grew a backbone and gave her a piece of her mind. Although I really did like Jasmine in the beginning, I just felt like she was forcing herself on Matt and he should have been honest with her and told her that he doesn’t feel strong about their relationship and he wants to test the waters with other people. I do like Alexis but I just feel like she may stir the pot a little too much and the “scallop fingers” comment, why did she have to bring that up? Seriously your just sticking your nose in to where it doesn’t belong and being very mean to Christen. Very immature adults on last nights episode. Just my opinion about last night and eager to see where all of this leads on tonight’s episode.

  63. First off I love your blog and I love how you allow people to reply to what you have to say! I want to start off talking about the Jasmine & Christen situation. Yes Christen sat with Jasmine and knew they were a pair from Jasmine side. Matt did not make that clear so Christen took a chance and I would’ve to. Jasmine I felt handled it very wrong and immature. It is bachelor in Paradise raven did not act like that when Sara took Adam on a date. That is the situation of the show and I feel Jasmine handled it all wrong.
    Amanda is not one of my favorites this season. I feel she has a bad attitude about everything. Robby is one of the sweetest guys there and I feel she is just using him. She keeps referring to last season. Well everyone warned her about Josh she didn’t listen that was her fault. I hope a new girl comes in and Robby finds his happily ever after

    Wells would be an awesome bachelor. But I had heard on Ashlie I and bens almost famout podcast him say he would not take the gig if asked. I hope him and Danielle M end up together!!!!

  64. I stopped watching last night. And will not watch again. I felt sick and almost cried… there was no reason for anyone to speak to or about anyone that way. And the way that Jasmine tried to make out with him when he returned was appalling- and I hope she is SUPER embarrassed about that. Uhggg.. yup completely done with the trash reality TV has become!

  65. What is it about Matt that made him such a hot commodity?
    He seems blah… Sorry
    Also I am NOT interested in hearing Corrine portray herself as a victim. I don’t trust her motives. Is Chris going to tell us what really DID happen and who made the show shut down? If it wasn’t Corrine talking to an attorney, was it a producer?

  66. I agree with everything you said.
    yesterday’s episode was so hard to watch, with that being said I love WELLS and will be soooo happy if he ends up being the next bachelor. ABC should do us all a favor and make him the bachelor. Fingers crossed.

  67. I lost respect for Jasmine on last nights episode. She should have been mad at Matt.. NOT Christen… Her relationship was with Matt not anyone else. And I find it hard to believe nobody else saw Matt in the wrong here. He approached Christen and wanted to date her. He left because of the drama, and I would too. Everyone is too immature to be on that show wanting marriage the way they act like immature people bullying. and last nights episode was flat out BULLYING. so glad you pointed it out ALI. I thought I was the only one who thought that considering nobody stood up for Christen.

  68. I honestly am having a really hard time getting into this season. I actually haven’t even watched last night’s episode yet but based on the past couple of weeks, I feel like a lot of the cast members are really only there to be on vacation/ on TV. And I’ve watched almost every season of the Bachelor/ Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad and Bachelor in Paradise so it pains me a bit to say that and it’s not coming from a place of not really understanding how the show works. Not sure if it’s just a mismatched groups of people or what but I sorta can’t wait for it to just be done so DWTS can start.

    Wells would be a fantastic choice for the next Bachelor though. Or Peter.. yummy.

  69. In my opionion, MATT was very much to blame in this situation. He sought out Christen, basically asked her to ask him on the date, and started this whole thing. Then when Jasmine asked him about it he didn’t tell her that he did that. He was too afraid to be honest and therefore the blame for the situation was on Christen in Jasmine’s eyes. He was playing both of them, I think, and I really don’t respect him for what he did. Then he bolted out of there when he was getting caught in his games.

  70. I feel like the entire show last night went too far. It was apparent when Christen came in that Matt was really interested in her and he even came to find her and tell her “No, I’m not tied down to one person, I would love to go on this date with you.” I think that Matt and Jasmine should have had a conversation about where they stood at that point and if there were a conversation they should have shown it. While Matt and Jasmine were “together” from week one, I don’t think Jasmine’s feelings were 100% reciprocated. I think Matt made the right choice in leaving instead of pulling both ladies along.

    The fact that Alexis brought up the scallops story and then allowed everyone to continue to make jokes about it says to me that she had every intent of making fun of Christen, which isn’t fair. If they told Christen the joke and it wasn’t shown in the show it is a different story but as it stands they did not tell her the joke. Instead they continued to laugh and whisper “scallop fingers” whenever she walked by.

    I really hope that Wells isn’t the next Bachelor because he and Danielle would make a great couple. I’m hoping they are together now. Danielle seems like a really cool person and it seemed like she and Wells do have a connection.

  71. I have been in on the receiving end of this kind of bullying and it is absolutely awful. I’ve heard these ‘ladies’ on social media and in interviews say how awful all of the negative comments are. They even turn off commenting on Instagram. This is exactly what they were doing to Christen. Laughing in her face, name calling and then who said “did you taste Jasmin?” after she said she kissed Matt. Ugh. Amanda has daughters for goodness sake. They were awful. Period. They should be ashamed!

  72. Wells is amazing!!!!!! He definitely keeps the show funny. The only reason why I wouldn’t want him as the next Bachelor is because I would love for him to date Danielle M! What do you think of Matt for next Bachelor? I love your blog btw! You never talk bad about anyone and always give your opinion in such a respectful way!!! We shouldn’t be bringing people down, but rather lift each other up. We need more Alis in the world

  73. I agree 100% about Wells! He cracked me up! I will be so excited if he is the bachelor!

    I do think the bullying was ridiculous. I don’t agree that there must be a girl/man code for this show. This show is a ball of hot mess. I think it would be a different story if Matt was into Jasmine. He obviously was not. It seems like he felt bad for both of them.

  74. Totally off topic, but I would LOVE to know where that sign that was gifted to you that you posted about yesterday is from… I’m not big on monogramed or named things but that sign is just too perfect!

  75. Enjoyed reading your post. First time on your blog. I follow you on IG and listen to your hubby in the morning on the radio. Although I agree with the content, I wanted to go through your post with a grammar red pen. So many typos/spelling errors. If you are going to be a professional blogger, you really need a professional proofreader.

  76. 1. I’m so glad you posted this because bullying definitely seemed to be a glaring theme in last night’s episode and that’s not okay. I have worked with special needs children and I have zero tolerance for bullying — at all levels, across all ages. We spend so much time teaching our children not to bully others, when unfortunately there are a lot of adults that continue to do so… and on TV for that matter, making the behavior seem glorified in some way. ABC definitely sent the wrong message last night by allowing so much of the episode to showcase that immature behavior. Jasmine, Sarah & Amanda looked like straight up mean girls last night!!
    2. The point of the show is for individuals to find love! Christen deserves just as much of a shot as anyone else. Matt made it pretty clear that he was interested in going on the date. I don’t think she did anything wrong.
    3. I think Taylor & Derek are cute, but I think she is extremely young. I’ll be curious to see where they end up.
    4. WELLS IS ADORABLE! I would love if he were the next Bachelor, but I also hope that he and Danielle get together!

  77. First of all, your dress is super cute! I don’t think I could pull it off but it looks great on you! Second of all, Jasmine may have told Christen not to ask Matt out, however, as you have stated before this is Paradise and the same rules in real life don’t always apply to Paradise. Especially when Matt went to Christen and said he was open to dating more people. Jasmine worked herself up over it and got meaner and meaner and definitely took things too far. I felt bad for Christen.
    Speaking of bullying… I thought you were going to talk about Alexis attempting to feed the dead crab to Jack Stone and you didn’t even mention that. You also said she wouldn’t hurt anyone. Well trying to get someone to eat a dead crab is just terrible and mean. I hope Jack Stone sticks to his guns and gives someone else his rose. It was just childish of her and the others for laughing and not saying that’s enough.
    Paradise is tough to watch this year. Its really not about love at all and feels more like a clubhouse.

    1. The dead crab scene was disgusting. Everyone sitting around telling him to trust the process… gross! I hope he sticks to what he said and doesn’t reward her with a rose!

  78. Ali- I love you and your blog but PLEASE spell and grammar check before posting. This post had about 10 errors. You’re better than that.

  79. How those women acted last night towards Christen was something you would see from young girls. Absolutely pathetic behavior. If it wasn’t for Daniel joining Paradise last night I would not continue watching.

  80. I am glad someone as influential as you is addressing the utterly common scenario of bullying in the adult world.
    We tend to think it only happens to kids in high schools but it’s time for us to start thinking that kids might just be emulating how we adults behave on daily basis.
    Even moms, as it has been mentioned, sadly contribute to this catty behaviour: laughing at people, calling them names, enjoying to exclude others from a social group, you name it, bullying is found everywhere in our society.
    Whithout being an expert in the subject, perhaps looking into our own behaviour would help to alleviate bullying tendencies in our little ones.
    I hope that this exercise of calling out “cool girls” sparkles more discussioms regarding bullying among “adults”.
    As per Jasmine, she honestly made a fool of herself, and Matt was pretty coward letting Christen take all the hate. I think he left because of that: being too coward to address the mess he contributed to create.
    On the other hand, did not really buy Christen’s tears and heartbreak. I don’t judge her on inviting Matt but having some sort (not Jasmine’s craziness) of backlash is one of the possibilities when you go for what you want both in real life and in paradise.

  81. I remember in my 20’s being a mean girl. It’s something I’ve had to look hard in the mirror at and grow in as an individual. I just want to be a better woman/person. Now that I am in my 30’s and have had some more life experiences to go with it, I’ve personally chose to change as well as incidentally changed because of life experience. I still have my whole life to be better, grow, etc…but I like who I am now better than who I was.
    I think the contestants just need to come to a point of seeing their behavior from an outside perspective. Maybe watching the still show back will help…

  82. I don’t think it was ok for Jasmine to do what she did!! Ok Christen did talk to her and Jack Stone but Matt also told her he would go on the date with her if she picked him. Also, by his actions when Jasmine was hanging all over him should have given her a clue that he just wasn’t as interested in her as she was him. I think it was wise for him to leave when he did because he isn’t the type of person to hurt anyone’s feelings and you could clearly see he was more into Christen than he was Jasmine!! I wasn’t a fan of Jasmine before and with her actions I’m clearly not a fan now.

  83. I think that Christen had every right to ask Matt out on a date. Isn’t that what BIP is all about? DLo asked Dean knowing he was ‘talking’ to Christina, Sarah asked Adam knowing he was ‘talking’ to Raven, and Dom asked Diggy knowing he was ‘talking’ to Lacey. If you want to be on the show than you need to know what to expect, others are going to ask others on a date even if they’re talking to someone else. I did not like the bullying on Christen at all. It was very mean and ugly, how can Amanda make fun of someone knowing she has two little girls at home? I am sure she would not want her daughters thinking that is ok. Also, Jazz was completely out of control last night, I loved the first few episodes with her, but the crossed the line last night. I am so hoping Wells is not the next bachelor, because I LOVED Danielle and I really hope they are dating right now!!

  84. Jasmine looked like such a fool, blantally throwing herself on Matt who clearly is not into her! Does she have any self respect? I don’ think ” girl code” was broken here. It is the premise of the show! Amanda was really disappointing to watch. I saw a whole new side of her….she portrays herself as this sweet and innocent mommy of two girls them gets right in on all the action! It was disgusting to watch! I don’t think anyone is there to find love…its all about drama and good television. I personally don’t want to watch BIP anymore! OH…lets talk about Taylor….yes no one should be talked to like that but he did apologize so move on! So sick of her always talking about “emotional intelligence”! Ok..we get it! She’s a counselor but clearly lacks maturity! She just needs to grow up already and stop overanalyzing every aspect of her relationship. She is her own worse enemy. The counselor needs counseling! She carries her past relationships into her present. Never a good thing!!!

  85. aly, u stated that it wasn’t cool for Christen to go out on a date with matt because she knew jasmine liked matt, and u stated that’s not cool, but what about dean going out with d-lo, after he just went out with Kristina? Anyway, I think this is the worst show on TV, this is not a fun , bunch of 20 somethings, having fun in paradises. This sighs worste season ever. I’m done watching it, its such bad TV.

  86. Let’s just say – thank you Daniel for finally making an appearance!!
    Can’t wait to see his antics
    Will finally make this season bearable!

  87. I wholeheartedly agree! I was so disgusted with the way everyone took part in that! Including Wells!! I LOOOVEEE Wells and thought that was out of character for him. At least I had hoped.

  88. I agrew that Jasmine, Alexis, Amanda, etc. were out of line and hurtful. Jasmine is annoying and not enjoyable to watch in any form and would love to see her gone. Same goes for Alexis. Amanda is too full of herself and tries to be too perfect every time she is on camera. Wells, to me, was obnoxious and he has gone down a few notches in my book; is he trying to get some second career going in comedy? He is definitely not Bachelor material and not good looking enough in my opinion πŸ™‚

  89. From a mom in her 60’s….the men on the show need to grow “a few pairs” and be honest with the ladies. Their unspoken, “I’ll date around if something better than you comes down those stairs,” is very unattractive and totally disrespectful, although if you’re not into her, please don’t be liplocking with her. Or TELL HER! These men have ZERO communication skills. Adam and Matt are in triangles of their own doing, as is Dean. Thank God Taylor and Derek actually sat down and had a conversation about their fight. I appreciated both sides to that talk.

    Jasmine is a mean girl. I thought so on Nick’s season, and I think the real truth might just be that she was jealous that Rachel was chosen for the Bachelorette instead of herself. However, she thinks she’s Paradise’s Queen, and that just makes me gag. If Matt were REALLY into you, Jasmine, he would not have gone to find Christen and tell her he’d like to go on a date with her. You are a bully, as are a few other girls in paradise. This whole show last night reminded me of junior high, of the “in-crowd” sitting together in the cafeteria and pointing and making fun of a lonely girl who just wants to have one friend. I realize Christen broke “woman code” and asked Matt out, but I don’t think I remember Matt telling Jasmine they were exclusive. (He didn’t.) Go home, Jasmine, you aren’t all that, in my opinion.

    Give me Wells as Bachelor if Danielle isn’t interested….he is a breath of fresh air on the show, and Lord knows we needed it last night. Hope we see a better show tonight. Oh heck yes, Daniel is coming…if nothing else, he’s great for laughs!!!

    1. Christen may have broke girl code… but she did it because Matt sought her out and told her he wanted to go. She did nothing wrong! She’s not there to protect Jasmine’s want to be relationship. She’s there to try and find her own. Last nights show was definitely a disappointment.

  90. Jasmine needs to go home – hopefully tonight. Tired of listening to see from Rachels season and BIP.
    I thought it was disgusting that Alexis tried to put the old crab into Jacks Stone mouth – really – what is wrong with her.
    My hubby and I really found Monday nights show disgusting with all the bullying between the ‘girls’. Didn’t expect that from this show.

  91. Matt was NOT into Jaz (well maybe at first); she was too forward, AND she wasn’t picking up on his signals that he wasn’t that into her. She was mean for calling Christen names and i think she needs to go home! Glad Matt chose to leave without giving out a rose.

  92. This whole episode made me sick to my stomach. Matt is clearly not into Jasmine as she is into him. There was one episode where she wanted some private time with Matt and he wasn’t having it and he left. Matt was the one who approached Christen to let her know that he was available which goes to show he’s not into Jasmine. There were signs but she’s too blind to see that he’s just not into her.

    The story of the scallop fingers definitely was taken too far. Sarah and Amanda laughing was not right at all.

    Dean is such a coward for not saying what he really wants.

    I find this season of BIP to be quite disappointing of people showing their true colours.

    1. I agree that the Matt and Jasmine were not reading from the same book. She was desperate for him and he was uninterested and just being nice, till she drove him off the show.

  93. The disappointment for me was when the Producers choose to put “Scallop Fingers” under Christens name. To me last night was NOT good TV, it showed how as a society we can be so cruel. The bullying was out of hand and many of the cast played a part. Jasmine was 100% the Queen of Mean last night with many showing the worst of themselves. I do hope each of them reflect on how they acted and address it to the public since it really was not ok.

  94. Wells as the bachelor… YES! I love Wells. What a sweetie.

    Jasmine… is just plain nasty. She’s at Paradise for a few days and she thinks she OWNS a man. Really? I think not. She is demeaning and mean spirited and the kind of girl who gives all girls a bad name for stirring up trouble. Not a nice person.

  95. First time posting on your blog. So disappointed in much of yesterday’s episode. Question: does any one remember when Jasmine went to confront Christen about asking Matt on the date, didn’t Christen (while she was brushing her teeth) tell Jas that Matt came to her about wanting to go on the date? Am I remembering it wrong? I don’t want to torture myself and go back and watch. My main reason for asking is, shouldn’t Jas have been more upset by Matt than Christen if that was indeed the case? Either way, Jasmine was a bit excessive in her behavior about the whole thing.

    1. Yes! I’m not sure why Jasmine was hating on Christen so much, shouldn’t she have been pissed at Matt? He’s the one who she was having the “relationship” with. Christen may have asked Matt on the date but he was the one who said yes πŸ˜•

  96. Like Wells a lot! Amanda and Sarah were ridiculous last night, they should be ashamed. Jasmine, well probably enough said about her! The whole episode was not good, I could hardly watch! ABC get smart.

  97. I felt bad for Christen. She was in a tough spot coming in late and having to ask out a guy. If Matt didn’t want to go on a date with her he didn’t have to… but he sought her out to let her know that he was available and would go on a date with her. He even mentioned that she was being told wrong that he was in a committed relationship. He was not committed to one person (Jasmine). She tried to claim him and he wasn’t having it. She blew up saying things that should never have been said. This is why these people go on here, to find someone. She had every right to ask him to go with her. Jasmine does not own Matt. She threw herself at him when he came back and it was just sad. It made her look desperate. I Matt wanted to give his rose to Christen but was worried about the fallout from it… so instead, he left. I wish him all the best. Sarah and Amanda should be ashamed of their behavior. I pray that Amanda’s girls never face the kind of situation that she put Christen through in this episode. Maybe someday these ‘ladies’ will grow up. She definitely showed her true colors last night and it doesn’t look like she is as sweet as she was once thought to be. Let’s not excuse the behavior of bullying, teasing and just being down right mean girls from these grown woman. I have a 10 year old daughter who would not behave as immaturely as they did last night on BIP.

  98. Agree with all of what you said, Ali. Jasmine was really being a pill last night. The fact that Cristen made a mistake asking Matt on a date, does not excuse Jasmine for being a bully and all that name calling was hard to stomach. If I was Matt, I would have left too. He looked decidedly uncomfortable more than once was Jasmine as climbing all over him.

    Derek made a big mistake using that language towards Taylor. She is immature, but no woman should put up with that…period!

    Dean is Dean…immature. Kristina should quit wasting her time on him. He doesn’t know what he wants.

    Daniel…hmmm, isn’t that the guy Lacey was hoping to meet at Paradise! We shall see…

  99. Hi ali! I totally called it here on your blog when we first flound out Wells was going to be the bartender that they were buttering him up as the bachelor! He was so liked. I am still convinced he will be it and even see danielle maybe coming in at some point. Although I do think she probably is over the bachelor thing since she also left paradise in such a mature way. Let see!!

  100. I totally agree that the bullying in this episode is horrible. Also it’s very true that hurt people, hurt people.

    I too love Wells!!!! It think he is hilarious and love what he brings to the show. I would be very intrigued if he was the next Bachelor, but also that kiss and connection with Danielle M!

    Ali, What do you think of them?!

  101. This post in itself is bullying and is extremely disappointing. You have chosen to use your platform to pit your readers against Jasmine while making excuses for her other friends. Couldn’t the excuse for Jasmine easily be that she was hurt? You’ve most likely acted terribly to someone who hurt you but it hasn’t been televised. The difference is; Jasmine did not handle her emotions well, and her friends didn’t help her by simply talking to her about how to deal with her jealously but rather egged her on. Wells, Alexis, Amanda and Jasmine are all good people, we all make mistakes. You singling Jasmine out because she rubs you the wrong way is the same thing Jasmine did to Christine. Pot, kettle. I’m super disappointed to read this post. I hope you read this and I really hope you’re brave enough to say: they all bullied her, or that they all they all acted immaturely. Singling Jasmine out because she has a larger character than the rest, or because she’s different from you is not cool. Not surprisingly, you formed a similar opinion about Taylor and gave everyone a pass.
    Super upset and disappointed to have read this post.

  102. So yes, Jasmine told Christen that she had a thing going on with Matt. BUT then Matt ran down to make sure Christen had the “whole story” and told her that yes they were talking but they he would be interested in going on a date. That’s where I really believe it all started. I think if Matt never would’ve said those things Christen probably wouldn’t haven’t asked him on the date. And she said as much when she was talking to Jasmine up in the room… but I also agree with everyone else, Jasmine exceeded her welcome last night and needs to go. Nobody deserves to be treated that way

  103. Love your bKog and follow you everyday. I have a little boy who is Molly’s age and you have been such a light and someone I can relate to the past year! However, this bothered me and felt ingenious and hypocritical “I really felt bad for Christen (I really wish she spelled is Kristen) “…
    It’s slight and funny but still same old crap another day. Doesn’t change my love for your blog, insta etc, but so
    You know,..

  104. Ali,

    I love your blog posts but your comments here seem a little all over the map and hypocritical. Examples: Blaming Christen for “breaking girl code” but not D-Lo for the same behavior, blaming Jasmine for bullying but excusing Sarah, Amanda, Alexis and Wells. Also, what’s up with “Christen (I really wish she spelled is Kristen)”?? Her parents named her…like someone saying they wished you named your daughter “Mollie”…doesn’t seem like it makes sense to start off an anti-bullying article by criticizing her on how her name is spelled. I understand and appreciate the topic, but I think if you’re going to call people out, you have to be fair on all sides and also raise yourself to a higher standard, so you’re not making negative comments yourself.

  105. I have to be 100% honest and just come out and say I honestly didn’t really care for any of the girls on Nick’s season. Except for Raven, Kristina, and Danille M. All the other girls really just come off sooooo immature to me and only seem like they are there for a good time instead of finding love, well maybe I should rephrase that…. I didn’t care for MOST of the them, Taylor seems genuine in her relationship, I found it a smidge hypocritical though that she got upset with Derek for using profanity, and then she goes and vents to her friend, and every other word out of her mouth is *bleeped* amiright!?

    Jasmine just looks like an idiot, chill out girl! She drug the situation on the wholllllllle episode and it just got really annoying, so annoying that I almost turned it off. Cmon this is BIP not the bad girls club! I personally think she got her karma with matt leaving. She was incredibly, incredibly immature about the situation, you don’t have dibs on him, and clearly he wasn’t that into her cause he left! She probably turned him off with her vulgar attitude and neediness.

    This episode just annoyed me. Hope they can get a little more serious, I mean I’m with you Ali a little drama is okay, but it’s gone a little to far in this case. As for wells, Amanda, and Sarah. I don’t think Wells was persay, “bullying” I think he was just teasing, and I did think Amanda and Sarah were a little mean, they should have told Christen what Alexis said, she kinda deserved to get thrown under the bus for that one cause she’s the one that started the whole fiasco in the first place! I think she kind of over aggregated the story a little bit, with the crab bit at the beginning of the episode and Jack stone, It made me think she kinda provoking this bullying, but sitting in the back just laughing a little…..

    Oh and just one more thing…. sorry, sorry I love your blog and leaving comments…. I don’t feel like christen broke girl code, cause Matt straight up told her (even though jasmine did prior) that he was interested in dating other women on the show.. I think jasmine put a sour taste in his mouth with her aggressiveness, and he just wanted to leave cause he didn’t like the drama!

    Sorry I feel like I wrote a lot! But I love being able to come to your blog to read the options and voice my thoughts too! I’m a huge fan, I love the show(s)!

  106. I am glad you called it what it was: bullying. I feel so bad for Christen. Can you imagine her watching that episode and realizing that everyone was making fun of her. Even the producers put “scallop fingers” as her occupation. Jasmine took it overboard, per usual. Disappointed in ABC.

  107. In regards to Matt, Jasmine, and Christen:
    Can we just be honest and say that this is what they signed up for? You don’t go on Bachelor in Paradise OR The Bachelor/ette to make friends and abide by girl/guy code. You go there to try to find love. Matt clearly expressed interest, and Christen was into him. Love triangles are just the name of the game. No one would watch any 3 of the shows if everyone was respectful.

    1. I agree! Plus, D Lo didn’t get the same treatment as Christen did when D Lo took Dean on the date and Dean and Kristina were in way more of a serious relationship IMO at that point!

  108. First off, I love your blog. LOVE. I tell everyone about it. πŸ˜‰ I wanted to comment on your “hurt people, hurt people”. While I think this is often accurate, I think sometimes we forget an even more relevant point. I often see in my work (social worker who works with mentally ill, suicidal etc) that people hurt other people or bully other people because they can and they often actually think they are better than the person. Call it generational, call it current society standards or just plain narcissism but we are living in a place now where people are being made to think that they are entitled to feel however they want and hurting people along the way is their right. Hurt people often do hurt people but sometimes people simply hurt people because they think they have something to say that needs to be heard. And in the process we give them an out for their behavior or justify their behavior when label them a victim and not a perpetrator. Just something to ponder. πŸ™‚

    Again, love your blog and as an impending first time mom I have come hear throughout my pregnancy for Ali pearls of wisdom XO

  109. Im just thinking the show is lackluster. It really hasnt been interesting at all.

    Im disappointed in christina sleeping with dean. She knew he was being wishy washy. Dean has been rude and inconsiderate in her feelings. She can do much better than him.

  110. Frankly I’m disappointed in all the girls that were st the bar when the scallop fingers story was being told because instead of standing up for Christen, they just stood there. I also think Sarah and Amanda lack couth. To add insult to injury; of course unbenounced to Christen, they continued making fun of her by laughing at her in her presence. We’ve all made a faux pas or two so I’d like to know what makes them so special. Jasmine….well that girl is just a nut job. Her behavior is atrocious. I never liked her even when she was on the Bachelor. Clearly there’s some mental health issues that need to be addressed. She’s overly aggressive, loud, threatening and overall should not be seeking out a relationship right now when she really should be concentrating on being the best version of herself first. I was actually hoping that she was going home but leave it to Mat to be a standup guy and come back to offer her his rose. Dean…..he’s just a dog! I mean he really irked me with his statement during the rose ceremony. He’s “not sure he’s ready for that level of commitment”. Really???!!! Wasn’t he just on the Bachelorette and ready to get engaged?? He’s just stringing Kristina along. He needs to be sent home so that he can reassess things and how he treats people. His immaturity is showing. I think Ben could have a real chance if he just stops talking soooooooo much about his dog! It’s a little unnerving. I love my dogs to the moon and back but they don’t consume my every thought and conversation. Of course they brought Daniel back for the drama. He’s such a rude jerk. I am Canadian and he’s an embarrassment. The rest of us don’t act like that. He isnt representing Canada well. He really thinks he’s the total package. He really needs to reassess things. They also brought in the “tickle monster”. Really??!! Why? Why refer to yourself that way? I don’t find it cute or endearing in any way. Let’s hope he sheds that persona and shows his true personality. I was not sorry to see Alexis go. That girl is a bit of a wacko. Not sure what she’s all about. All in all I hope BIP changes to something less trashy or this girl won’t be watching any longer.

  111. I am glad that you pointed out the bullying last night! It was hard for me to watch because it went WAY too far! And honestly, I thought the most horrifying moment was that ABC jumped in on it too and put “Scallop Fingers” in the caption under Christen’s name during one of her confessional recordings. It was horrifying! I also thought that Amanda and Sarah were mean for laughing and not telling her about the joke! The whole thing turned my stomach… especially since it seemed like no one gave Christen a chance AT ALL!

    And can we talk about the fact that all of the anger and meanness from everyone was directed toward Christen, when Matt, the one who was allegedly “in the relationship” with Jasmine, is the one who APPROACHED Christen and basically asked her to ask him on the date!!! Why was no one mad at Matt?!!? He is the one who should have known best whether he was off-limits or not and he basically told Christen that he wanted to go on the date with her! Why is NO ONE, including Jasmine, calling him out on it?!?! I don’t blame Christen for having the impression after her initial conversation with Matt that he was available!

  112. I’m currently catching up and watching this episode and I agree, I feel Jasmine was mean spirited. Even just with how she was talking about Christen while she was on her date and shaming her for being a virgin and her “probably doesn’t know what’s going on down there anyways” comment. It makes me sad that a person is shamed for deciding to save themselves for the right person.

  113. I honestly don’t know if can continue watching this. Seeing all the bullying lastnight made me sick. To me when you are like that, it makes you ugly. It’s an ugly personality and I can’t deal with people like that. So she ate scallops and shrimp with her fingers. Get over it. She didn’t ask you to do it. Poor girl πŸ™ these girls would have looked a whole lot better if they would have stood up for her or just not said a word… or laughed. I hope when they watch themselves they feel terrible and learn from it.

    I know she probably shouldn’t have asked Matt but at the same time he took her aside and said he would like to go on a date with her. So I can’t blame the girl.

    I do think Taylor needs to mature a bit. She’s a nice girl, but you can’t tell someone you need space and then be upset when they walk away. I’ve been there before… hopefully she will see that it doesn’t work that way.

    & LOVE Wells!

  114. I don’t think that anyone who goes on BIP or any of the Bachelor shows can really say anything about “girl code” in regards to dating. The entire premise of all of these shows is that multiple people are going on dates with one other person. BIP in particular seems to encourage new arrivals to break up couples that are already there. I’d be willing to bet that producers were encouraging Christen to ask Matt on the date because they knew it would make for more interesting TV.

    I also agree with everyone who pointed out that if Jasmine is going to be mad at anyone, it should be Matt. After all, he didn’t have to agree to go on the date. No one can break up a solid relationship. Clearly he wasn’t that in to Jasmine.

    Even the producers/show got in on the bullying. They put “Scallop Fingers” in the tagline under Christen’s name during interviews, as if “Scallop Fingers” is her profession or defining trait. I’m sure the producers encouraged the mean girl behavior too. Ali, I get it that you can’t say anything too bad about Bachelor Nation without breaking your contract, but to partially call out some bullying without addressing all of it, even defending some of the worst bullying, gives the impression that you’re giving lip service to anti-bullying but you’re also contributing to escalating the bullying.

  115. Great recap, Ali. It definitely felt more like Mean Girls than BIP. I was truly disgusted by Jasmine’s behavior, but also by the other girls that joined in. I also think since everyone didn’t see what we saw – Matt going to Christen and telling her he was open to dating & that he wasn’t tied down to anyone – that it was fair play. The bad part is that he didn’t stand up for saying that, so everything got taken out on Christen. I don’t know when everything got so cut throat on the show, but it’s really disappointing. It’s one thing to have drama for the episodes, but it was really over the top and nasty on this episode. Sad.

  116. Let’s be real, this show is lame, majority of the contestants on it act like children, most birches are insecure jealousy and catty, you should have better shit to talk about and spend your time on, and you are endorsing terrible behavior from mean girls because you are one yourself. Don’t call me a bully either because SOMEONE needs to put you in your place.

  117. I find it odd that you didn’t like the bullying, but thought Wells and the puppet were funny. Wells was bullying Christin as much as the others!

  118. I agree with almost everything you said. 😜 There are 2 things though that I disagree on:

    1. The way Christen spells her name is AWESOME!! But I guess I’m a little biased! (See my name)

    2. I want to see Wells end up with Danielle M. They are adorable together!

  119. Christen was so sweet when she introduced herself to Amanda. She told her how much she’s always loved her and that she was excited to finally meet her. (I don’t remember the exact words.) I find Amanda and Sarah’s actions mean and disgusting. I have always liked Amanda but now I’m totally tured off. That was not a good look on her. I’m so disappointed. MEAN GIRL written all over it.

    1. I really liked Amanda until this. The level of bullying was disgusting! She has children. If this was happening to her children she would be devastated. I was bullied for many years, and moved many times. I almost didn’t survive it. Now I don’t even leave my house. How can they be so cruel?

  120. I really liked Amanda until this. The level of bullying was disgusting! She has children. If this was happening to her children she would be devastated. I was bullied for many years, and moved many times. I almost didn’t survive it. Now I don’t even leave my house. How can they be so cruel?

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