Coffee Talk: Leaving Baby Overnight for the First Time

Monday calls for coffee!!! This is going to be such a long week for me so I’ve really been dreading this Monday for a while now. Mostly because tomorrow is going to be one of my hardest days as a mother yet! I have to fly to New York and leave Molly overnight for the very first time. I’ve never spent a night away from her. In fact, I’ve never not been here in the morning when she wakes up. Every single morning since she was born over one year ago, I’ve greeted that tiny little human when she starts her day and it makes MY day to see the huge smile on her face! And look, I know she’s going to be fine. If anything, I’m way more worried about how I’m going to be than how she’s going to be.


I will say this however, she definitely needs her comforting from her mama. Her daddy is the one she loves to play with and laugh with. But when she feels unsure or scared or falls down she always wants her mama. Especially at nighttime. I put her to bed every single night because she just cries and cries when Kevin tries to do it (Poor thing. Keivn, not Molly. It breaks his heart. He WANTS to put her to bed each night). So he definitely is going to have his hands full when I’m gone. Kevin’s mother has graciously offered to fly out here from Indiana to help out. Just because Kevin has to go to work at 4:30am and we didn’t really feel comfortable asking a friend or nanny to come over at 4 AM to watch her. So yes, you might think we’re totally crazy for having Kevin’s mother fly out but hey, it makes us feel comfortable! And it’s what works for us. And I’m sure this won’t happen every time I have to leave or Kevin has to leave overnight but this first time is a big deal and quite frankly, I’m a little bit crazy. Ha!

Anyway, like I was saying above, I’m way more worried about how I’m gonna feel than I am about how Molly is going to feel. Any advice from other mamas out there? Should I just drink a ton of wine the whole time I’m gone? Ha! Don’t get me wrong, I will definitely be trying my best to enjoy my me time while away. I basically leave for NYC first thing tomorrow morning and get into the city around 8 PM or so. ThenΒ  I wake up bright and early the next day for a project I’m working on. And then after a full day of work, fly out that night. It’s going to be a crazy trip but I just couldn’t bear the thought of being away from her more than one night. But even though I’m only away for one night, she’ll be going to bed without me for two nights. Obviously tomorrow night because I’ll be sleeping in New York City. But the following night as well because I won’t get back into Los Angeles until around midnight. So I totally hate that I’m missing two bed times! But at least she’ll only have to wake up without me one morning. And I’ll be here Thursday morning to snuggle her up as soon as she opens her eyes!

So anyway, my point in writing this blog post is two reasons. One – I really want to get advice from all of you! What did you do when you had to leave your little one for the first time? Did you just have to suck it up and do it? Any special things you did that maybe I’m not thinking about?

And then of course I’m also going to share my outfit details because my pics in this blog post show me wearing one of my favorite tops! I mean, how beautiful is this floral top I’m wearing? I bought it when I was shopping the Nordstrom Sale the other day. But don’t worry if you’re not a Nordstrom card holder and can’t access the sale yet! This top isn’t even part of the sale, but it’s still super affordable so it might as well be a sale price. The top is only $39! It’s so pretty and perfect for summer.

I paired it with my favorite high waisted jeans that are super flattering and right now they’re on sale for buy one get the second pair for $20. So it’s definitely a good time to stock up on jeans for fall.

And oh my gosh! I’ve been meaning to write about these sunglasses forever! Every time I’m wearing them in one of my Instagram Story videos, multiple people ask me where I got them. And I’m sure many of them assume they’re expensive because I think they look expensive! But they’re totally not. They’re only $12!

Ok I just realized this blog post is getting kind of long so I’ll end it here but the rest of the details on my look are below the pictures.

And please help me out and share any advice you have in the comments below about the first time you left your little one. Thank you loves and wish me luck! I’m going to need it.


301 Thoughts

301 thoughts on “Coffee Talk: Leaving Baby Overnight for the First Time

  1. No advice because I haven’t left my 4.5 month old every night (nor do I ever want to), I think she will be 18 years old still sleeping in her rock n’ play next to my bed πŸ˜‰ Totally not crazy right? My heart is definitely sad for you, but Molly will be so loved by her daddy and her grammy! You have nothing to worry about!

    Now, tell us, what’s Ali Fedotowsky-Manno go-to drink at Starbucks? Have a safe and fun trip!! <3

      1. It will become easier I promise. I’m on my 3rd and it doesn’t get any easier worrying but I know now that it will pass and all will be just fine! ☺️. I nursed my daughter till she was 2 and I wish I had the opportunity to get away for 1 night when she was mollys age so I could’ve been “free” and have my boobs back lol!!! Anyway good luck!

    1. My two sons are 26 and 18 now. The time has flown by! You do YOU! Your baby, your family, your life. You’re doing a wonderful job. πŸ‘Œ

    2. I just left my babe for the first time in June. She is 13 months. I was in the same situation as you, I put her to bed every night and always comforted her when she was upset. I was a nervous wreck for about 6 months leading up to my trip where I left her for two nights. She stayed with my sister since my husband had to work. I about cried leaving her and was super nervous most of the time I was gone but she did so well! She actually started sleeping better after the trip and I felt recharged having a bit of a break from being a mom 24/7. I began to realize that my baby doesn’t need me all the time and it can be good for both of us to have time away from one another. I hope your trip goes well. Just try not to worry! She is in good hands and your kisses and cuddles will be that much sweeter when you get home!

  2. Hi Ali! I am in the same boat as you. I have never been away from my daughter and she turned one on July 1st. We are taking a vacation without her in September just to have some momma and daddy time and my sister is flying out to watch her because we have no relatives in CA. So…you are absolutely not crazy! You can’t put a price tag on having extra help…especially when it’s family. I think it’s great you are just doing a quick trip to begin with to get her used to not having you there gradually. I think the best advice I can give is to have Kevin and your mom in law do something different and fun with her bedtime routine. Sing some songs she likes or introduce her to a new one. Maybe give her a new lovey that she can take to bed with her…even if it just sits in her crib. I don’t have experience yet but these are just a few ideas I thought of. Good luck and be strong! Smile knowing you are doing something that will benefit you and your family and that she will have the biggest smile when you return. πŸ™‚

    1. Ok good. I’m glad it doesn’t seem crazy that I asked Kevin’s mom to come out. And you are so right that this is best for all of us!

      1. I think you are completely justified asking Kevin’s mom to come out to help out. I would give anything to have my mom and mother in law alive to help out with my kids. It is the hardest thing in the world to leave your kids overnight. I get nervous leaving them for a date night!!!! And I have the best babysitter and I still get nervous to leave. Please do not listen to anyone who makes you feel upset or unsure of yourself. You are an amazing mother and I truly believe if we lived near each other we would get along so well LOL

        I hope your first real time away from Molly turns out to be a great time!!!!


      2. Ali it’s not crazy at all! I live in North Carolina and we flew my mom here for a weekend (from Wisconsin) just to baby sit when we had a concert Saturday and a wedding on Sunday… we even care home both nights! It was my first time leaving Brantley at 4 mo and there is nothing wrong what you did! It’s all for peace of mind!!!! Love love love reading your blogs!

  3. We left our now 10 month old over night for the first time when she was 5 months with my wonderful sister-in-law (who has 3 kids of her own, whom she spends every Friday with at Grandma’s so she knows well) so that my husband and I could have a ‘grown up’ night out (complete with many a glass of whiskey and a swanky hotel downtown).
    My advice: don’t get constant updates. I love getting updates and pics and videos at work from her care-taker but on a night out (especially if it’s for fun) just trust that she’s doing well and get your head into a non-Mom headspace – for us that meant after we dropped her off we listened to hip-hop, and had a cheers! whiskey immediately upon arriving at the hotel. It helped. Trust that this is good for her and good for you. I’m totally that Mom who co-sleeps with my baby and is way too attached but I also know that it’s good for us to separate. We’re doing it again for my Birthday this weekend (same set up) and i’m pretty excited about it this time. Reuniting is so sweet too! Good luck Mama you got this!

    1. Not checking in all the time is going to be sooo hard! But I think you are right that I have to try to enjoy this me time!!! Even if I’m working.

  4. I totally understand how you feel, when I left my 8 month old for the first time I actually had it in my head the he will forget about me!! But good news-he didn’t haha, when he woke up the next morning and I was there he gave me the biggest smile and that made me feel better.

    Now I don’t really have much advice but I just kept checking in. I didn’t FaceTime because I was worried that he would get upset, but I texted and called probably 4 times during the day πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ I felt so bad that I was driving everyone crazy but it made me feel better. I’m sure once you actually get into New York your going to be so busy it will fly by.

    Good luck!!! And just keep remembering the smile your going to get the moment she sees you!!

    1. Hehehe.I also thought my boy will forget me. How weird are we πŸ˜‚
      But nothing beats the face in the morning when they see mommas face again..
      Ali she will be great!!!

  5. The first time I left my little one overnight I was so concerned that his routine stay exactly the same. Same songs sung to him, same books, etc. However, when I left my husband said he didn’t want any of those things! I guess to him, that was “our routine” and my husband did something completely different… which worked! The same thing happened when my husband and I both left and he stayed with my mom. I gave her his specific routine, and he didn’t want any part of it. She made up her own special bedtime routine with him and he did just fine. So, my advice is not to stress too much. Have Kevin and your MIL do what works for them… (obviously keeping bedtime at the same scheduled time) but just a different routine on how to get there.

    As far as you – I was a total mess the first time I left my son. Things have gotten easier each time I have done it since, but the first time I just tried to stay super busy but I definitely missed him like crazy.

  6. It is going to be way harder on you than it is on her. If you’re not there, then Kevin will be the next best thing and that will be great for Kevin and Molly. Try not to over think everything and just enjoy your two days of freedom. I’m sure you want to raise an independent child who can roll with the punches a little bit. It is good for her to know that when you go, you will come back, that way separation is not so tramatic. You are doing her a favor by loosening the umbilical cord a little.

  7. Being away will be good for all of you! I think the anticipation of being gone is much worse than actually being gone. Try to enjoy yourself!

  8. Hey Ali,
    It’ll absolutely be harder on you than Molly! You’re lucky you and Kevin have help, even if you do have to fly her in from Indiana, but the good news is, a month or year from now, Molly won’t remember a thing and it’ll be a distant memory for you. The first time is the hardest, so yes, wine will help. πŸ˜‰ But it’s a good thing to let Kevin try to get into his own routine with her so it won’t be as hard on any of you next time. Hang in there, girl, you got this!

  9. Hi Ali! I JUST went through this exact feeling when I left my 13 month old son overnight to attend an out of town wedding. You will get through it…it will be super weird…it will make you feel tons of mommy guilt…but you know that little Molly loves you to the ends of the earth, and when you return to her you will be greeted with the most enormous smile and warmest hug ever. If you are feeling extra heartsick, a little wine never hurts! 😜

  10. Hey girl! You’ll be completely fine. It was out of sight out of mind for our little. Every kiddo is different (of course), but I think it is harder on the parent than the babe. We just went on our first long trip in Jan and then again this past month and it was difficult. But don’t FaceTime! FaceTiming made it worse for both parties concerned. Toddlers can only focus on so much at once and if they’re distracted and not thinking about you, chances are they are content. Bed time may be difficult, but my son who is used to his schedule (and is a schedule nazi and loves his bedtime with daddy), does fine when others put him down when we are gone. So, I hope this encourages you! And remember: it’s only one night away and two nights where you don’t put her down. Kids are resilient! Parents? Well, ask me that once mine is grown. πŸ˜‚

    1. I agree do not FaceTime it will make her upset that she can’t be in your arms and seeing her cry will make it harder on you….coming from mom of 3 boys under 4……

  11. My daughter is turning 2 in a couple weeks and I’ve only left her overnight once! We have attended a few other events or gone on date nights where her grandparents put her to bed- that counts a little I think.. Needless to say, I understand your worry completely. My advice is to keep yourself busy, take advantage of the time to recharge your own battery (soak in the hotel tub, have a glass of wine, read a good book), and use FaceTime to see her sweet face to say goodnight and good morning. She will be fine, you will be fine and you will both be over the moon with joy when you’re back home with her. It’s okay to feel anxious or worried though… your feelings are always valid! Have a happy trip! You’ll be home before you know it!

  12. It will be much more difficult for you so just stay super busy…and it sounds like you will be.
    Take a framed photo of Molly with you for your trip so you see her in the morning when you wake up. Record a “good morning” video from you to Molly for your mother-in-law to play in the morning. And record a “good night” video for Kevin to play for her both nights. Hallmark sells those books that you can record your voice reading and the children can play it over and over again.

  13. My son was born a few weeks after your daughter and the first time I spent the night away was a month ago for a bachelorette party in Nantucket (I live in central mass., not a plane ride away but a ferry and car ride) so need less to say, being on an island for the first time away was very scary for me. I too put the baby to bed every night so I was worried he’d cry for me but according to my husband, he did great. In fact he slept through the night all 3 nights which was shocking since he was still waking multiple times a night the week leading up to it. My advice is to try to relax, enjoy yourself, definitely enjoy that wine and try not to think about it as much as you can. I know it’s cliche but it’s true. She’s in good hands with your husband and mother in law. (Don’t feel crazy for flying your mother in law out, I’d do the same!!) The good thing is, she won’t remember it πŸ˜‰ And a little time away is a good thing, for both of you. Maybe after the trip, Molly will feel more comfortable with her Dad putting her to bed once in a while and that equals a mom break πŸ™‚ Have a great trip and enjoy yourself! Molly will be just fine.

  14. You are not alone momma! I didn’t leave my daughter overnight until she was 2 months shy of 3 years old. I was out of my mind pulling out of the driveway, but everyone involved survived 😊

    I could only handle one night away, too. You can always FaceTime her in the morning- that way you are still greeting her.

    A word of caution- I bought my daughter a special treat for when we were away that contained an ingredient we didn’t know she was allergic to 😩 My poor mother. We thought she was just having a hard time with us being gone, but she was actually being hurt by the thing I got to make the time away better for her. So my advice would be just stick to the food and routine you know works for her.

    Oh- and kids have no concept of time. So don’t worry about how many hours you’re away from her. You both will be just fine! Safe travels!

  15. I think the best thing to do is focus on things you would love to do when you have some alone time. You’re going to miss her like crazy! But you’ll get lots of pics/videos from family so soak up your time as much as possible. My son is almost one and he’s stayed overnight with grandma before. He loves it!!! I miss him so muchhhhh but try hard to always refocus on things I’d like to do without little man. You can do it!

  16. Hi Ali! I have a son, that’s just a couple weeks older than Molly. My mother-in-law will occasionally ask if she can take him over night. I trust her with all my heart, but I’m not ready to do that yet, even though she only lives two minutes away! So I don’t think you’re crazy. πŸ˜‰

    It sounds like you’ll be pretty busy the next couple of days, so you might be pleasantly surprised at how fast the time will go. And seriously, I’m sure Kevin will be amazing! Maybe it’ll give Molly a chance to realize that daddy snuggles before bed aren’t so bad. πŸ™‚ Please keep us posted and let us know how it goes! Xoxo

  17. Ali, first of all I love reading your blog and watching your Instastory every day! You are a great mama to have these feelings, you love your daughter and hating being away is totally normal and ok! My boys are 7 and 5 and I still don’t love being away from them. One piece of advice would be to FaceTime when you can but just in case you can’t step out if Molly (or Kevin!) is having a tough time – record a video of yourself on Kevin’s phone so he’ll have it to show Molly. If you sing a certain song to Molly at night, do that – or even just a “goodnight Molly, mommy loves you and will see you soon!” message. With your MIL and Kevin there I’m sure they’ll keep her plenty busy and you try to keep busy too and the time will fly by. You’ll all get through it, first time is def the hardest though! Just think of the happiness you’ll share when she wakes up and you’re back home!!!! 😍 Safe travels!

  18. I travel for work quite a bit and started when my now 8 month old was 4 months old…try to get a great nights sleep in the hotel since you won’t hear her at all or need to wake up with her! I am still nursing/pumping so I have a ton of advice there (I am a pro now!!) but I think you weaned??? (But now can’t remember!)…FaceTime a lot! We FaceTime during her bedtime ritual so I can be a part. And normally we FaceTime when my husband walks into her room in the morning because that’s when she is happiest. You can do it!! I will say the first trip was not nearly as bad as I expected and now it’s a piece of cake! (I’m usually away from her for a few nights every other week or so). Good luck!

    1. I am still nursing but I think this trip is going to be the end πŸ™ I didn’t think I would be so sad about it but I am!!!!

      1. I was thinking about the pumping too! My boobs hurt so much when I was away from my little guy for a few days and I had to pump more than I thought I would. I also kept waking up even though he wasn’t there to wake me up! My son went to bed later without his mommy there and there were some tears but he and daddy figured it out! We also love the song grown ups come back from Daniel tiger and the book the kissing hand. I face timed a little but it was kind of confusing for him so we didn’t do it too much. Overall I would just say be gentle with yourself and know that you will both get through it. Obviously parenting teaches us that we cannot plan or control everything but we can handle a lot!! Best of luck!! Hope you enjoy some mama time, things you can’t normally do, but don’t stress if that’s hard to do!!

      2. Hi Ali!,
        My kids are now 18 and 23 but I still remember so vividly when I stopped nursing and it’s such a hard break. I was only 23 when I had my daughter and had to back to work full time 13 days after I had her because my husband and I couldn’t afford for me to stay home. I pumped at work and nursed her myself at home and when my milk wouldn’t keep up at about 5 1/2 months nobody really understood why I was so upset. It was the one thing I knew I could only give her. It was a special bonding time for us. It literally hurt my heart. I don’t think you’re crazy at all. I will tell you it all works out. Both my kids are mama’s kids. You’re such a fantastic loving mother and the bond you and Molly have could never be lessened or broken. Rest assured it’s just another step in hers and your development. Sending you so much love and prayers that you’ll have some peace from the anxiety your feeling about it. πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

      3. I went to NYC on a girls trip in May after when my baby girl turned 1 years old. I was away for 2 nights and brought a hand pump due to painful engorgement πŸ˜” I only pumped once a day for 15minutes and left 4 bags of milk in the ice bucket lol. I tried to stop but clearly my body wasn’t ready and when I returned home my baby still wanted to nurse and comfort nurse. She only nurses twice a day … morning and night. It’s so hard to stop and she’s 14 months old now. I think it will happen when my baby girl says enough mommy! She will soon.. she’s miss independent. So will Molly and everything will work itself out! 😊

      4. I felt like a lunatic emotionally when I was ending breastfeeding! Not even just worrying about my baby’s nourishment and the process of weaning, but because those hormones can really do a number on you. And then my period kicked in shortly after and I was like OMG I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE A MOM AND HAVE A PERIOD! Ha! It all gets better and fortunately we’re not alone in our mania. Also, thinking about being away is sometimes way worse than actually doing it. You’ll feel stronger after all this. Hope you’re having fun in New York!

  19. I’ve only been away from my daughter one night and she’s 14 months. She was left with my husband and although I knew they would be fine, I admit it was hard for me to enjoy my time away. I nurse her to sleep every night so it was a new thing being given a bottle and like Molly, sometimes she just needs her momma! I counted down the hours until I was home with her again. They survived, although it was a rough night (she was only 5 months and still waking every couple hours and expected nursing instead of a bottle) I would feel much more comfortable leaving her now that she’s sleeping through the night, but it’s never easy on a momma leaving her baby, especially for the first time!

  20. Don’t stress about it. Don’t feel guilty about leaving Molly (you aren’t doing anything wrong by being gone overnight). Have fun! Try hard to not text or call all the time, so that you can actually enjoy being in New York. Molly will be just fine with her daddy and grandma. Look at it like you are giving Molly a special gift of extra time with those who love her! It’s a win-win situation.

  21. Are you still pumping? That’s the worst part of traveling to me!! I know you started weening. Molly will be fine, enjoy your trip!! It’s important to do these things for yourself and your career. When Molly is older she will appreciate your hard work!

    1. I think tomorrow morning will be my last time nursing πŸ™ I just swelled up with tears typing that!!!

      1. My little guy turns 1 next week 😒 so I haven’t weaned yet. From what a few friends told me, depending on how often you nurse now you may need your pump for a bit of relief as your body stops milk production. I got mastitis twice and it is NO fun!

      2. Awww I’m sorry if my comment made you sad to think about it! Nursing is such a love/hate relationship. I know it’s sad when I t’s over but WOW is it so much more freedom once your done!! I just finished about two Weeks ago (my son turned 1 in June). I’m so glad I was able to do it for a year for him but am also so glad it’s over! Good luck girl!

      3. It is a sad thing but the freedom of having your body back and not being tied to this all the time is going to feel amazing. Yes, there was guilt that my milk was good for my baby and I felt selfish enjoying the freedom, but it’s ok for moms to get some of their identity back to be their best selves for their kids. Good luck!

  22. To me this is one of the hardest things about being a mom. You get into such a routine that your child has come to expect it’s so hard to change things up even though you know everything will be alright it still sucks! I cried like a baby! As a mother we struggle with the guilt ALWAYS!!

    One good thing is that you are keeping her in her environment rather then having her stay elsewhere while your away. That will help. Also, I’m a sucker for routine but someone once told me too much can make life difficult from time to time (which I found out). I would say whatever Kevin can do to keep her happy for the night just do it! Lol. It can be a night of breaking all the rules. Sleep in your bed, sleep on the couch together snuggling, etc. if she stays up later then usual, oh well!!

    I am the bedtime person for my babies as well, something about a mother I guess. I’m certainly no expert, all I can say is do the best you can while you are away. You know yourself, no matter what anyone says you will still worry 😩. But like everything else in parenthood, the first time is always the hardest and each time there after will be easier and easier. Soon you will look forward to it!!

    I agree, with others. Check in obviously but not too much as that will make you crazy also. You got this!! And from what I observed Kevin is like the best dad ever!!! So you have that on your side!! Good luck!!

  23. I left my first child overnight for the first time when she was just about Molly’s age. I get the anxiety. But we left her with friends at their house so she wasn’t in her own environment like Moly will be. My advice for YOU is this: know that Molly will be fine. Even if she cries and cries at bedtime she will be fine. It will not scar her. She will not remember it. She will wake up happy and she will be fine. And chances are, once she realizes having you is NOT an option, she will probably do better than in the past. I am a trained child therapist so believe me when I say that you leaving overnight will affect her long term zero percent. So focus on that and know that even if things don’t go super smoothly, even if she wakes up crying 5 times that night, she will be ok. So you have fun in NYC because worrying about Molly will not change the situation at home one teeny tiny bit. Trust Kevin & your MIL and know Molly is in good hands. In the grand scheme of life, it’s a minuscule amount of time you ate away from her. (These are all things I remind myself of when I leave my kids). And! This will be such a great bonding experience for Kevin and Molly. As well as a great confidence booster for Kevin to know that he can take care of her without out you. Whenever I leave my kids with my husband, i always come him to happy kids and a husband who feels more confident as a father.

  24. I left my son overnight for the first time with my parents when he was 6 months old. It was FAB! She will be just fine and I would encourage you to go out to dinners with friends, etc..and have Kevin put her down to sleep more. She won’t die from crying, I promise. And, it makes for a well adjusted child to be able to go to sleep from more than one person. That’s also very stressful on you, being the only one to always put her down. You may not realize it, but it is. She’s going to be just fine and so are you! She’s got very capable family and her DAD watching her! YAY for you!! Have lots of wine, and don’t ask for many updates. Have fun!!

  25. I think you’ll find with you literally not an option, this will help Kevin being able to put her to bed. I had an emergency appendectomy when my third was 5montbs old – we were full time bf, pretty much co-sleeping…it was all on me. Morphine, surgery and not being able to hold her meant she took to the next best thing, my husband.

    Don’t feel guilty, don’t get non-stop updates, and HAVE FUN. It’s normal to worry but in the grand scheme of things she will never remember this.

    And I totally get you calling in Kevin’s mom. Why wouldn’t you when he has to work at 4:30am?! When I come to LA each year my in-laws stay because my husband is gone 6am-7pm – someone had to be there!!

  26. Hi!!
    Best advice for Molly is to talk to her and tell her where you are going and that you will be gone just one night and daddy and grandma will be there to keep her safe…etc A lot of people don’t realize because babies can’t talk it doesn’t mean they can’t understand and they also deserve the respect of being told what’s going on in there world! Also, It with strengthen her trust and bond with you by being told beforehand!! Good luck! You both will be stronger for it πŸ™‚

  27. My son is 21 months and to date I have been away from him once over night (he was 3.5 months at the time)… however I don’t fully count that time because it was to stay with my husband in the hospital after surgery due to a severe broken ankle. And my son was maybe 10 miles away. In December of this year, I will be heading to Las Vegas for 6 nights- in which my Mom will be coming to help my husband- as we have an 8, almost 9 year old as well. I’m nervous but he will be totally fine- me i’m worried about haha. My general intention is to check in/facetime each evening and just request any major updates but otherwise try to enjoy myself and let them enjoy their time as well. Some kiddos struggle more than others but as long as she knows she can see your face or “talk” to you and have lots of love/snuggles/attention from Kevin and his mom then she’ll be just fine. As for you, be around other people as much as possible, might be harder if you are alone much and let your mind wander too much. πŸ™‚

  28. Well, like everyone is saying, it will be so much harder on you than on her, but you will both make it through for sure. Most of your replies are young mom’s like you and I am here to tell you that it never gets easier – you just suck it up. My only child is now 21 and I never ever got used to him spending the night away from us or vice versa. Going off to college was a real biggie but here I am sane and all is well with our family. Each step of growing up (for both parent and child) is emotional and scary. My only suggestion would be to let Kevin and his Mom do what they have to do as far as routines, and bedtime schedules so that Molly can find a way to go to sleep without you. You can always go back to your schedule when you return. I wish you luck and hopefully after the first time it will get much easier.

  29. I just left my 13 mo old with my mom for the first time! It’s so hard so I feel for you! Stay present with what you’re doing in NYC and focus on other things. Kevin and Grandma will handle it and it gives Kevin practice to be the comforter (funny, that dynamic is the exact same with my hubby!)

    Much love to you!

  30. I left my son home with daddy for the first time when he was six months old, for three nights. I will say, I am one of the most relaxed moms (more than I ever thought I would be) and that really served me well. I was completely fine leaving him. To the point that I had guilt about not having guilt about leaving him. My favorite pieces of advice that I was ever given while I was pregnant was to leave my son for a couple nights with daddy within the first year of his life and for my husband to do the same (easy for him, he travels for work). The point of that advice was two fold, it gives mom the opportunity to build confidence and trust knowing that dad can handle it and everything will be totally fine, AND, the dad can then understand and appreciate just how much mom does to keep things afloat both with the baby and the house. That’s not to say that that love, appreciate, trust, and confidence can’t be built while everyone is in town and going about their daily lives, but it really gets heightened when someone is out of town. I hope I am making sense. All that to say, it’s hard to leave your baby behind! One piece of advice I will give you is to express to Kevin (and who ever else will be caring for her) what is really important to you. Get all of the reminders and “instructions” out of the way BEFORE you leave. That way, when you call to check in, you aren’t reminding and asking if he did this or that for Molly? You totally got this, girl!!! xo

  31. Oh gosh, girl you’ve got this! I’ve been away from my baby, who is just about 2 months older than Molly, just a few times. But I JUST got back from an away trip yesterday. You’re so right – Molly will be fine. It’s mommy who will suffer πŸ˜‰ I think others have said it but go, do your thing, and check in when you feel like you need it. But don’t feel like you have to! You know this, but Daddy and Grandma know what to do.

    You’re totally not crazy for having Kevin’s mom fly in…. my hubs and I would totally do the same thing!! When my mom watches our baby, I ask her to come a day or 2 early so that they can acclimate to each other.

    My other advice is really for Kevin – keep her basic schedule the same as much as she wants. However, like others have said, she may create a new routine with him since you won’t be there. I think their bond will be 10x stronger after this adventure you’re embarking on! I also think she’ll fall asleep more easily with him since you won’t be there as a “back-up” option. That’s how my daughter was for us, but after mommy’s first missed bedtime, she lets us both put her to sleep but often prefers daddy!

    Lots of hugs because it will be tough, but you can do it! I hope you’ll have only a few tears and moments of anxiety.

  32. Ali you will be just fine. I left my son when he was 9 months old and was gone for 5 days!!! I couldn’t sleep for weeks leading up to it and I cried the whole way to the airport but miraculously it wasn’t as hard as I expected. I left him with daddy( he is the best dad EVER) so I knew he was in good hands. I was so busy those 5 days that I just didn’t have much time to worry or be sad. My advise is stay busy!!! I worried so much but I realized that worrying would not fix anything. I was across the country and I just had to let go of my control. And yes alcohol will help as long as it doesn’t make you emotionalπŸ˜€

  33. I am going through your exact emotions and preparing for my first night away from my 10.5 month old daughter. I have my best friends bachelorette this weekend, so I have a packed schedule (with breaks to pump 😊) so that I don’t have too much time to think about how much I miss her.

    I’ve enjoyed reading the comments with advice – thank you for posting! And good luck in NYC!

  34. Wow. So glad you posted this today. I am leaving Thursday for an out of town bachelorette party for my best friend of 15+ years. I am so dreading leaving my 6 month old for the first time. She is the same way as Molly, only wants me to put her to sleep and still wakes up some nights. I know my husband can handle it but it’s just one of those mom things and I want to be in 2 places at once, lol. I am hoping to be occupied and enjoying some much needed girl time but I know it’s going to be hard. I have also asked for help from my mother in law and my mother( she also lives in Indiana and we live in Alabama) so if your crazy, I am also crazy! I hope you can enjoy your trip and just plan lots of FaceTime dates. I am hoping that will help calm my nerves but it may just make it worse. 😳


  35. Because you talk about the fact that you’re the one who Molly needs to be comforted, I think it’s really important to let Kevin have that time with her. Try not to check in too much to allow more bonding between dad and daughter. I know it will be SO hard but I think it would be amazing if Molly learned that dad snuggles are totally great too! πŸ™‚ I know what it’s like to have your kids favor one parent over the a mom of 4, I’m usually the go-to hugger and boo boo kisser. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE that feeling…but seeing my hubby get those cuddles too makes my heart happy.

    Also…DONT drink too much wine! If you’re anything like me, it’ll just send you into a I-miss-my-baby-so-much meltdown! Haha.

    Good luck! Everything will be great – promise! {and please…TRY to enjoy your “me time”…you deserve and need it!}

  36. We left our baby girl for the first time for our anniversary and while it was hard, it was SO NEEDED! She had SO much fun, got to enjoy time with Gramma and Gramps and when we got home she was SO excited to see us! Just remember that yes, she will notice that you’re gone, BUT she will be in the best of hands. And with you not there, she will probably go down easy peasy with daddy (or grandma) because she knows that mama isn’t there to “save” her! πŸ™‚ It will undoubtedly be harder for you, but try to enjoy your own time. Enjoy the moments that we used to take for granted… like going to the bathroom without an audience! πŸ™‚ And just think of the precious daddy/daughter time she’ll have with daddy. They’ll get to make their own special memories, which will be PRICELESS for daddy! Best of luck to you. And remember, there’s always wine! πŸ™‚

  37. Hi Ali! It will be much harder on you than her (just as everyone above has said). I’ve only left my daughter 3 times in 3 years and my son once in the last 15 months overnight and they never seem to have any problems at all with me gone. My MIL drove from a few hours away to help my husband the first time I left my daughter and he ended up being fine on his own. He liked having the backup though in case he needed it. One thing I always do is FaceTime with them right around dinner time (if you do bedtime it can cause them to get upset) and that helped me relax and feel better about not being there. We also have a NestCam, so I was able to check in on them from my phone and see how they were doing when they went down. Otherwise, try to enjoy your time away. It felt so good to get away and hit the reset button. I swear it makes me a better mama when I get to do that every so often. πŸ™‚

  38. Leaving your baby for the first time is so gm hard! The first time we left our little guy he was 1.5 years old. He spent the night at grandpas house and even though I knew he was going to be fine I was so nervous! They sent us picture updates and pictures of when he went to sleep. It was so hard staying in a hotel but my husband and I had a great time! Sometimes you need to let the daddy take over. I work now at night and my husband is with my 1 & 4 year old…cooking dinner, bath time and bed! They love it!!! Have a fun trip!!!!! πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

  39. Ali (Kevin too)

    As a mom of 3 daughter’s, who now have kids of their own my best advice is to go with your first instinct. Call as often as your want, and facetime etc. As you said YOU have been there each morning/evening of Molly’s life. Do what feels right for you, and MOST importantly try not to feel guilty.

    Remember as simple as it sounds you know what is best for your family! And from me as a NaNa I’m sure Kevin’s mom is excited to spend one on one time with Molly!

    And if all else fails, Wine is definitely mommy’s juice….safe travels!

  40. Good luck Mama!!
    We just left my little miss (13 mo) for the first time on Friday night. I shed a few tears and then was fine and drank a few margs which helped! 😬
    And she did great! Slept 12 hours straight for my MIL. It’s def much harder on the Mama. Although bedtime may be hard for Kevin, the rest of the time she’ll be fine. Out of sight, out of mind.
    And I saw you’re doing your last bf session tomorrow. I just stopped too and I’m so sad. I wasn’t ready but she was. She just wouldn’t latch anymore. I think because my supply was low anyway and she was getting frustrated. I’m so proud I was able to nurse her for 13 months but I thought we’d have one more special nursing session and then be done, but that’s not how it went. So enjoy your last time tomorrow morning and take a picture! You did so good Mama! And enjoy your trip! FaceTime as much as you need and have Kevin send you lots of pics! xo

    PS- and now that you’re done bf, you’ll most likely be super fertile! 😬😬
    So take advantage of that!πŸ˜‰

  41. My two girls are grown now, but I know from experience once you are gone, you will be okay. You will know in your heart she is fine, and this will help you feel at ease. I think having Kevin’s mom there is a great idea. I always felt better having a mom there! There isn’t a thing that can be considered too much in the care of your child. If it feels right to you….it is right! Every moment you spend with Molly stays with you forever. So if you are away sometimes, those moments carry you through your time away. The bond you feel with your child always keeps you right there with her. And, Molly will feel this too! Enjoy your time in NYC!

  42. Hello! I’m a momma of 3, 5 and under and my baby is almost 1. I didn’t leave my little boy alone until I had my daughter (he was 18 months) and then I didn’t leave my oldest daughter until she was 2-and that was for a weekend getaway with my husband-which I LOVED and wish we had done sooner. Pulling out of the driveway was the hardest thing, but I just kept reminding myself that the more strong bonds my kids form with others, like their dad or grandmas, it really is for their betterment. Also, you are a momma, but you are also a woman, and you deserve some joy and fun that exists outside of motherhood. It’s normal to miss your baby, but find solace in the fact that she will bond more with dad and grandma; and that you can have some time for just you. Having some “you” time will ultimately make you a better momma:). Cheers!

  43. I had such a hard time leaving my now 22 month old when she was 10 months but I read something that said it is actually healthy for the baby to know that other people are here for her and love her and are able to take care of her and that made me feel a lot better. You of course know Kevin fills all of the above for her so she will be just fine.

    As far as you go, if you want to check in to see how things are doing than do that!!! I always just text for updates so that I don’t sit around worrying and thinking the worst. You both will rock it!!

  44. I have left my now 14 month old a couple times since she has been born. Like you said, it is going to be harder on yourself than it is on her. What helps me is face timing. I try to before bed and in the morning when she wakes up. Just keep reminding yourself that she is in good hands! We are in the same boat, my daughter wants her Mommy so much and I am the one that always puts her to bed. Bed time may be a little rough without you but she will eventually go to sleep. At least it is only 2 nights! You got this! Try to enjoy your time and not stress!

  45. Make a detailed list of her normal daily routine, even though I am sure Kevin knows it down pat I always found it good to look back on for the caregivers there such as his Mom when neither of you are there. I also wear my hubby’s large oversized t-shirts all the time for bed, and I would actually purposely wear one for one or two nights and not wash it so it has the mama scent for the babes – just a thought! It can help calm them.
    I left my first when she was 8 months and would say that the longer you put off leaving them the worse it would be (on you and them!) So go and enjoy your night away… even though it is for work, it will get easier and I believe it is good for the babes and dad to have their time. Kevin will do great and find his groove with bedtime. She will be ok! You too!
    Enjoy reading your blog, keep up the good work!

  46. How about Skype or Facetime with Molly and Kevin and Owen. She can then see you and hear your voice. I know that even tho my sons are grown men, I still want to “see” their faces as often as we can when we talk on the phone.

    Always remember, you are a wonderful mom and being away from your baby every once in a while is a good thing. It keeps us all sane and grounded. And Kevin will do just fine – trial by fire lol!

  47. Don’t feel bad for missing her! These babies have a crazy hold on our mama hearts, and though they can be difficult, we wouldn’t want to go back to life without them. You’re totally right to assume that you will have a more difficult time than she will πŸ™‚ It’s just how these things go. I always feel guilty when I’m away from my daughter even for a few hours, but I’m trying to remind myself that it doesn’t make me a bad mom. I have a life apart from her, even though it’s gotten less significant since her birth. Hope you have a great trip!

  48. I just left my little guy for 2 weeks (like flew in late Saturday night!) and before that have left him for a few days at a time. FaceTime saves lives haha! My son was a little over 1 the first time I left him (he’s almost 2 1/2 now) and I bawled the whole way to the airport. I slept with a blanket that he used while I was away so it smelled like me and my husband said that helped. What helped me was getting pictures of him being fine. My husband was constantly sending me pictures of the mundane and that helped me realize he was ok. Also, I really learned to be ok with letting go when I’m on trips. After all, he is half my husband! Instead of leaving a long list and freaking out over the bedtime routine, what he was eating etc., I let the two of them figure out their own special routine. This really has helped trips since the first time and made me feel pretty comfortable leaving for as long as I just did. Yes, the first night was rough on both but they did just fine. You’ll do great mama and one of my favorite moments is when they see you after you get back! I videod my son seeing me when he woke up yesterday morning and it was the best!

  49. Oh how tough it is & I cried!! Alcohol will probably make you more emotional but it is always worse for mom than baby!! My advice is to take a blanket or shirt of her with you to remind you of her & smell (not being weird!) I’m sure FaceTime /Skype will be awesome as well… didn’t have that option 12 years ago when I left my first born for a work trip! You will rock it though & look forward to hearing about it when you return. Safe travels, relax & breathe!!

  50. Coming from a Mama of three all under 5…when my Husband was “forced” to do bedtime etc…even though it was out of routine for both baby and mama…it built up a confidence in my husband that was incredible. He needed it and it was important for my baby to trust him as much as mama. Yes…we mamas sometimes have the special touch and it KILLS us to let go sometimes…but it is SO important for baby and daddy to build trust. This is especially hard for breastfed babies (and their mamas)…so after I forced the opportunity on my husband with our first…to do bedtime and morning (i left town for 2 days…and cried a lot) I came back to a new developed relationship between my husband and baby and also a husband that had new respect for me! HA! With each baby following…I made sure to force the opportunity for me to let go sometimes so that Daddy could learn and build trust between him and baby. It’s hard but so important for everyone involved…

    You can do this!

  51. Hi Ali,

    First off, you look great in that outfit!! Love it!

    You have to trust Kevin will be fine! It’s his daughter and he knows her just as well as you do. If you can’t do it, he’s the next best person for Molly. She will eventually go to bed, it will happen and she will be okay. Try to have fun away because either way you’re gone, and Molly and Kevin need to figure it out together!

  52. The first time I left my daughter overnight was at 1 year old. I had a really hard time leaving her. However, my husband took us to Cancun for 5 nights. Our daughter was left with Grandma and the Aunties and they were all exhausted by the time we returned home.
    I have to admit by night 3…I was feeling guilt free that I was away but gosh I missed those morning smiles and hugs.

  53. Hi Ali,

    I have been following your blog for a while now, and thought I should finally comment, since I am a new mommy too!
    My baby girl is 14 weeks (3 months) and I have not left her overnight either. I don’t really have much advice yet, but I am sure it will help to just keep yourself busy with work, and co-workers to socialize with while on your trip! Check in here and there! HA! Easier said than done! I am actually leaving my baby girl for an out of town wedding in CT (Yup, I am a Massachusetts mama too πŸ˜‰) in early August and she will be in great hands with my mom (who raised both my sister and I) and I am dreading this wedding…LOL!!! BUT, she will be at home, with her Grammy who loves her so much and her big sister pup, Heidi to guard her 🐢 I plan to just enjoy my time with my hubby and friends for some me time !!! I am also a nursing momma, so I hear ya on that!!
    You will do GREAT!!! I would love your advice after your trip πŸ˜‰ Good luck mama and have fun, I’m sure Molly would be so happy to know you enjoyed your self too ❀️

  54. Just wanted to let everyone know; Sanctuary is having a big sale. Ali’s bomber jacket came from there. It is now half price!

  55. Hey Ali!
    Molly will do so great with Kevin and his mom. Sometimes it takes us moms out there being away from our babies to get to that comfort level being in the care of someone else! I left my little one for the first time (he’s now 5 mos old) for two nights recently to go to a really good friends wedding in Colorado. I dreaded leaving and definitely cried at the airport (seeing another baby triggered the tears) but I will say this, he was left in good hands with his grandparents and it only made us all that much stronger! You may have some tears too, but getting this first night away out of the away will be a good thing! You can do it. πŸ’ͺ🏼


  56. You will be fine. I probably sound tough because I am not a stay at home mom..but Right now your home and you have time to over think it…I left my son when I traveled for work when he was 5 months, and it was Day 2 of sleep training ha that was killer, but it’s amazing how work forces you to move on and focus on something else!

  57. Hey Ali,

    Leaving your little girl over night is definitely nervousness! I totally understand where your coming from! I left my daughter at 8 weeks with my mom!
    My daughter slept through the night since 7 weeks, my husband and I decided to have a date night and get some extra sleep while my mom offered to take her! At first I thought it was a great idea more sleep but then when we were out for dinner all we did was talk about her and wanted to see her! I did miss her more I feel but was nice to have some time away too!
    She goes every Wednesday for sleepovers at her nonna’s and she loves it so much and that’s our little time away too!
    Hope this helps and try not to be so hard on yourself!! I hope it goes well for you! XO

  58. Just curious,
    Are you stopping nursing because you think your supply will drop while away, or because you think it might be a good time since you’ll be away and she won’t be able to nurse. I will say, if you’re not ready to be done, then don’t do it! I pumped when I was away from my daughter and she’s 14 months and we’re still going strong. I always thought I would wean at a year but it’s still beneficial and we’re still going! Good luck momma!

  59. Such a cute outfit! I saw your Instastory and I can totally relate. Our breastfeeding journey wasn’t the most enjoyable and often I thought about stopping altogether, but when it came time to wean her I found myself getting super emotional too! It will be one of the first steps Molly takes towards independence and figuring out how to soothe herself without the boob πŸ™‚ I know it’s hard, I’m sending comforting vibes your way during this trip!

  60. I commented up above earlier, but I just saw your insta story and my heart breaks for you!! I want you to know I totally understand where your coming from, I’m nursing my 10 month old and about a month ago I developed shingles and wasn’t able to nurse for about a week, even though I pumped it still slowed my production down, im still nursing him about twice a day but it’s hard. I cried and cried when I thought (still think) that the nursing is coming to an end.

    Anyway this wasn’t about me, just wanted you to know I know how you feel. You don’t realize till you can’t do it anymore how important it was for you as a mom to be able to give that to your child. Hang in there, if you want you can still pump if you want to.

  61. I’ve nursed both my kids until 18 months and went away for a night here and there, going away for one night doesn’t mean you have to be done nursing her if you aren’t ready to be done! One day away from you most likely won’t be enough to make her refuse to nurse when she sees you again!

  62. We adopted our daughter from foster care when she was 6 months old. EVERY time I leave her I worry I’m going to give her an abandonment complex. (Dramatic much?!) In March (when she was 16 months) I flew to Canada for a week by myself; she stayed home with daddy. LONGEST 5 DAYS OF MY LIFE!! I wanted to be home with her so badly.

    We FaceTimed and I texted my hubby constantly. He sent me pics of their adventures each day. It helped. When I was out for the planned activities (I was there for a wedding) I just tried to fully engage with the people/environment, which also helped. It was my downtime that was hard.

    But they did great without me and I think it helped my hubby get a better sense of my day-to-day at home with her. 😊

  63. Just remember a few things – 1) you are a strong mama! 2) she will never remember this. 3) your boobs will thank you. 4) flying in additional help is NOT crazy. I travel for work and I do it all the time – my MIL comes to help my husband because he’s a nurse and leaves for work at 6a. So having grandma there is definitely a comfort for you AND baby. She will be so good! Hang in there. It gets better, I promise. My hubby and I are planning our 4th trip alone, and our kid is 2. It’s sad when we leave but we are refreshed once we’re back. And the more she gets time w/grandma, the easier it’ll be on you as time passes. Because kids LOVE their grandparents!

  64. Ali,

    I have left my 9 month old a few times. The first time my mom came and took her because we both were not sleeping and I was basically on the verge of a breakdown when she was only a few months old. But my mom only lives 25 minutes away from me so I was totally comfortable with it because I could always go scoop her up. She had only stayed with my mom up until last month when my husband and I went to Mexico for a close friends wedding. Talk about crazy we flew cross the country to drop her with my mother- in-law because my mom was at the wedding with us. We were gone 4 days and it was so hard I checked in multiple times daily. But truth is my daughter seemed very unfazed by it and it was more traumatic for me. Good luck but keep in mind babies are very adaptable and it really is harder for us. She will be in great hands with daddy and grandma.

  65. Hi Ali,
    You are just the sweetest thing. I totally remember leaving my son overnight for the first time when he was about 18 months. Actually, once you get the goodbye over with and you are out and about and busy, you’ll be surprised that it’s not as bad as the anticipation before hand. But I do remember coming home the next morning and seeing him outside playing with my mom and I totally started to cry, realizing how much I missed him. I’m a Mama of four now, and I still get anxious before leaving any of them, even for a short time. But again, once you’re out, you’re going to be great. And it’s so wonderful for them to have special time with Daddy or Grandma. And they learn trust—that Mommy leaves but Mommy always comes home. Love to you Mama. XOXO

  66. Hey Ali!
    You got this! Coming from the mom of a now 16 year old, I can put myself right back there & remember driving away crying the first time I left him. It is waay harder for us than for them so just keep reminding yourself of that! My parents knew I’d be calling A LOT, the tough thing was that it was a weekend camping trip so there was only like one place standing on a rock like a statue (slight dramatization) that my phone would work!! Seriously though, do what makes you feel comfortable, I sound so old saying this, but it’ll seem like a blink & you’ll be watching her pull out of your driveway πŸ˜‰ I just turned 35 & while having my son at 19 was hard for sure, now I look at it & think about how much fun we’ve always had together πŸ’œ

  67. How has Molly been weaning off breastfeeding?! I have a 10 1/2 month old that I am still nursing but want to start weaning once she turns 1. Any tips/tricks that are working for you guys? I don’t even know where to start with it!

    1. I am also curious if you have any suggestions or advice for weaning at age 1. I have no idea where to start (my daughter is almost 10 months). It already makes me sad thinking about ending nursing! Thinking about you and hope your first night away going well! (I still haven’t left my daughter either). So thankful for your posts which are so honest and relatable! Enjoy your trip!

  68. Hello Ali!
    I totally relate to this post! My husband and I just had our first night without our now 7 month old last weekend and I was a nervous wreck! Our daughter stayed at his parents and I knew she was in wonderful hands – but just the thought of not being around if she were to wake up in the middle of the night or not to be there when she wakes up and see her sleepy smile. AHHH…makes my heart ache just thinking about it!
    Advice??? FaceTime! Frequently! HA! πŸ˜‰ I love having “me” time during the day every once and awhile but nighttime is a whole other ballgame.
    I look forward to hearing how it went! Good luck and safe travels!

  69. I have a 10.5 month old daughter & I had to stop nursing pretty early on. Just remember that fed is best, Molly will still love you just the same, and you two will still be able to bond just as much without nursing. If you aren’t ready, you can pump, but just know that everything will be fine even if you do stop nursing. When I stopped nursing, I was so worried about our “bonding” time being gone, but I was still able to bond with her. I also felt some relief, too, since I didn’t always have to worry about keeping supply up, pumping, etc. It was so nice for me to just be able to enjoy all the extra time with her that I used to spend worrying about breastfeeding and keeping supply up. I totally support you in whatever you choose!! You’re her mama and you know her best, so follow your instinct. YOU’VE GOT THIS–YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MAMA!! ❀️❀️❀️

  70. Hi Ali!

    Babies are so resilient and she will probably be just fine. Since she has no concept of time she will probably just adapt to you not being there. That’s why it’s so much harder for you! You made me cry watching your Instagram story…so loving and genuine. You deserve me time and it will give Molly a chance to bond with daddy in all aspects! Hang in there sweetheart…❀

  71. Hello Ali…. my son was 4 years old before he was away from me for one night and he was just at my Aunts house that lived like 10 miles from me and I cried myself to sleep that night, can’t imagine how your feeling πŸ™

  72. Enjoy the night by yourself to care for you! It is actually good for her to have some bonding time with her dad! When my son (now 14 months) was small like a few months old I had to go back to work and it was hard to know that he cried more with his dad than me when he needed to be comforted, but I learned that their dads soothe differently and they have to learn to be comfortable with that different way. He did adapt and now does great and I dont worry about him at all when I am away! He has even gone overnight with his dad to his grandparents house and does fine every time! He actually slept better with him than me! It’s a great bonding time for them and empowering for dad! ❀️

  73. Will you be doing a blog on weaning? I’m in the same boat with weaning my just turned 1 year old and hoping to be done by my first overnight away at the beginning of a August and would love to hear how you did it!

  74. Hi Ali,

    First off I think you’re an amazing mom! When I saw your Instagram story about breastfeeding I almost cried along with you. Just because you’re leaving Molly for one night doesn’t mean you have to stop nursing altogether. My daughter is 16 months and she still nurses at night before she goes to bed. I plan on nursing her for as long as she still wants to. I know this is ultimately your decision but don’t think a decision has to be made right this second. If you do decide this is the last time, then hugs to you because it will be sad for you. Whatever you decide your love for Molly will still remain the same and you’ll still be the best mommy to her!! Xo

  75. I know it can be super scary the first time! But I promise it will be okay! Just enjoy your time and know she’s with people who love her so much and daddy and grandma have it all under control!

    Also- you 110% DO NOT need to stop nursing. No way! Bring your pump and just pump maybe every like 6-8 hours and you’ll be fine! And Molly will be all about nursing when you get home! I have left my babies at even 8 months when I nursed and I was gone for 4 days! Actually it was to NYC for s girls weekend. I got myself a cute coach backpack and carried my pump with me all day. I pumped at the spa, in the restaurant, anywhere with a plug! Just dump it out (bummer) and then you’re good to go! I have left my babies 3 times while nursing. I was gone F-M just last month for a bachelorette trip and came home and picked right back up to nursing my 15 month old. I pumped 3x a day that trip. If you don’t want to stop nursing – don’t!

    1. Oh and I didn’t even have milk for her to drink while I was gone. She just gets breast milk when mommy is around and otherwise she has a healthy diet!

    2. stop telling her what to do. trust her as a human. your story is your own, hers and hers.

      If you’ve followed along at all, she’s said Molly has been the one leading the weaning for over a month now. Not that Ali should HAVE to explain that to you. If she said β€œits my last night nursing,” you should automatically assume she has a great reason for that and knows best. Not that she made some uneducated off the cuff decision.

  76. Hi Ali!

    Do you want to be done nursing her? If not, you don’t have to stop. I have been away from my boy multiple times (because life happens) and he always picks right back up where he left off nursing. He is 16 months and while the nursing has obviously decreased he is still nursing 3-4 times a day. Leaving for the first time is hard for sure. Try to enjoy yourself and get some good rest. Molly likely won’t know at this age you aren’t there. Knowing that always makes me feel better. AND the fact that she will be so excited to see you is just the best!

    1. If you’ve followed along at all, she’s said Molly has been the one weaning for over a month now. Not that Ali should HAVE to explain that to you. If she said β€œits my last night nursing,” you should automatically assume she has a great reason for that and knows best. Not that she made some uneducated off the cuff decision. IMHO, breast feeding moms are sometimes the literal worst ever.

      1. WOAH. Way to be a total bitch for absolutely no reason, Taylor. The lady whose post you commented on was just giving a friendly tip and was very supportive of Ali throughout her comment. There were actually a couple of similar comments above hers too.

        And the original person commenting never asked Ali to “explain” anything to her nor did she accuse her of making “some uneducated off the cuff decision.” She simply said that if Ali didn’t want to stop nursing, she didn’t have to stop and explained how to do so in a very kind way.

        Then you came along, super defensive and rude for no apparent reason, and attacked this lady! Someone sure woke up on the wrong side of the bed. And someone obviously hates all “breast feeding moms” (like they’re a clan or something? lol) because apparently they are “the literal worst ever.” Umm…excuse me?

        You are very clearly overreacting to this sweet lady’s comment because you have an aversion to either breast feeding or breast feeding mothers…or maybe both.

        Why don’t you grow up and stop being an antagonist bitch to innocent bystanders?

        (And before you accuse me of it, no, I’m not a “breast feeding mom.” I am simply calling you out on being obnoxious.)

  77. Ugh! Thank you for this post! I’ve never left my 2 year old overnight! (I’m nuts I know…) I’m due with my second baby in a couple months and have anxiety just being away from the 2 year old while I’m in the hospital. Issues… I have issues… πŸ˜‚ Love reading everyone’s comments though!

  78. Awww, I know just how you feel! I did not leave my first one overnight until he was 2. And that only happened because I was in labor unexpectedly early with his sister. So we had to leave him with my parents and I was a WRECK!! I worried about everything…. is he upset? Is he crying all night cause I’m not there, did he eat enough? Is my mom going to be able to get his bedtime routine done correctly? Is going to fall asleep without seeing us? Etc etc… I worried and worried and worried and everything was fine and no issues. That first time is the hardest. Once you get past it, you’ll be able to do it all the time with no problem. And the second will be even easier… hang in there and trust Kevin. She will be totally fine. She’s in the comfort of her own home and daddy is there. She has a hard time going to daddy when mommy is there…. but when daddy becomes the only option, she won’t even think twice about anything. Just try to relax, enjoy your trip, even know that I know that’s easier said than done. Just remember, kids do way better once the parents are out of sight. When my kids started preschool. They would cry like the world was ending when I would leave, and like 2 minutes later they’d forget all about it and play with their friends. ALso, this is sooo good for them. You want them to learn independence and be able to adjust to different and new situations. Trust me!

    Good luck mama!! Safe trip!

  79. OMG I totally get you
    All my thoughts will be with you in the next couple of days and I’m sure that you can do that. I have never get separated from my eight month old daughter but I’m sure that the first time that I do , it will be the hardest thing to do, not for her because as you have said She has her father and her granny to be with but for you because although you will be in another place your head Will be 1000% in LA with your family. but don’t worry, this is something that you had to do sooner or later I mean you’ve got your life and Molly has to learn to be independent as you are.
    So good luck and don’t forget to share all the details when you come back I will be looking forward to reading it as myself can face that same you are any time soon 😘😘

  80. I always like to look at the positives…. not to belittle your experience but it helps me a lot. So here you go :
    She will be with Kevin & her grandma …if not her mama then who better to be there. Also you might not realize it but maybe this will help her struggle with having her daddy put her to sleep. It could be a gift in disguise for them both.
    I feel your pain, I’ve been there 3 x over. Just keep telling yourself, that it’s only 1 morning, you are healthy, she is healthy & so is Kevin…. that’s what is most important. Good Luck … you will get through it. I’m saying a prayer for you now 😊

  81. Hi, Ali! First and foremost, I looooove following you! It’s easy to sense that you are just a wonderful human! I’ve never commented before, but I wanted to jump on here and leave you some encouragement and let you know that from experience, it will be okay, and you’ll find new and wonderful ways to bond with Molly! Breastfeeding is so special because it something that the two of you uniquely share, and I know the feeling of sadness that comes with weaning completely. Those emotions will eventually fade (if you’re like me, you’ll get to a point of actually enjoying your body to yourself again!), but definitely allow yourself to feel all of the feels! πŸ˜‰ It’s very common to experience sadness during this transition. Hugs!

  82. I just stopped breastfeeding last week (my daughter turned 1 yesterday) and my advice would be don’t pick a “last day.” I just randomly stopped in the middle of the week because I knew if I picked a “last day” I’d be crying during the whole nursing session and I didn’t want to end that way.

    I’m also leaving my daughter for the first time this weekend for 2 nights and of course I’m a little nervous but honestly, I’m SUPER excited! I feel like I’ve earned this “time off” and my husband has totally got it. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be checking in constantly and will leave him a schedule and meals and all of that 🀣 but I’m honestly really looking forward to the break. Granted I’m going away for my sisters bachelorette party not a work obligation but I’m seriously excited for all the little things, like not having a baby on my lap the whole flight. My advice would be even though u are going for work, do something really nice for yourself that one night in NYC. Meet up with a friend for a meal or drinks, or just order in room service and a movie off the tv. You’ve earned the night off!

    I’m also

  83. Nice to know that I’m not the only crazy momma over here lol I haven’t left my baby boy over night until recently and he will be 15 months tomorrow. I was dreading it as well but like you I wasn’t worried about him, I was worried about me lol He stayed with my sister (which honestly, is the next best thing 😊) My husband had to get up really early the next morning for work or else he would have just been with my husband.

    Nonetheless, he did perfect for my sister, which I knew he would. I did better than I thought except for when my sister sent me a pic that night after he fell asleep saying goodnight, mommy…I literally broke down in tears. I had been the one over the last year to rock him and kiss him goodnight. Ugh, I allowed myself to cry for just a moment and then told myself, he is fine and you will see him tomorrow.

    I feel your pain but you will probably do better than you think 😊

    Sorry I guess I didn’t have any real advice, just wanted to share my experience.

  84. We left my son with my parents for a week when he was nine months old, so that we could enjoy a trip to Mexico. It worked out well, because I was ready to wean, and the trip was a perfect opportunity, mostly because I didn’t want to bring my pump on the trip. Selfish? Maybe, but I was so over breast-feeding at that point. The point is, we left, and to be honest, baby just figured it out. He has always been very easy-going, and I really think times we have left him with our family have helped a lot. We did a lot of FaceTime, just because I missed him, but I really don’t think he even knew that I wasn’t there. Out of sight, out of mind I suppose. Just try to relax as much as you can, you will miss her like crazy that night. I find it hilarious that as parents we are always wishing we had time to ourselves, and then when we get it, all we do is miss our little ones. You got this, mama!

  85. Please let us know how it goes! I will be going through the same thing in October and my daughter will be about the same age as Molly is now! I am sad about ending breast feeding then, too. Thanks for being so honest, it’s nice to hear I’m not alone!

  86. The first time leaving your little snuggle bug is soooooo hard! You constantly worry about EVERYTHING!!! How did she eat? Will she be fine without me? What about the morning? What about when she’s crying and just wants mom? Etc etc etc! The truth is, I think it’s harder on us than it is on them! My advice is to text and video chat as much as possible!!! Ask all the mom detailed questions so you feel better! If you’re like me, there might be a good hour where you’re like…this is cool! I can pee alone/take a bath/call a friend uninterrupted…and then you’re sad because it’s so quiet without your little loud human! Have a glass of wine, a bubble bath, listen to happy music, rent a movie, and wine wine wine!!!!! And video chat as much as possible!!! You got this mama! It won’t be the last time, but you will never forget the first πŸ™

  87. It is totally normal to feel this way! My kids are teenagers and I still feel guilty! But guess what, it’s going to be alright. This is the age where separation anxiety starts (if not already) and it’s healthy for both the parent and child to have some time apart. It really is true–absence makes the heart grow fonder! Say a few prayers and it will be over before you know it. In addition, you trust who is taking care of her, so let them enjoy their time with her and put your faith in them that they can handle everything without you. They will have a better time if they know you aren’t so worried. I hope that makes sense! Good luck!

  88. I haven’t read all the comments but you definitely do not need to stop breastfeeding if you guys go one night. Make sure to bring a pump so you don’t get engorged. And I will strongly encourage you if you plan to stop nursing to do it gradually. That is a huge transition for you and Molly and it takes time to gradually wean. She will prob want to nurse the first thing when she sees you, so don’t add nursing stress onto your plate! Have a safe trip!

    1. And who made you the authority here? Why are you so concerned? Ali is a grown woman who strong and capable of knowing herself and her own daughter. If you’ve followed along at all, she’s said Molly has been the one weaning for over a month now. Not that Ali should HAVE to explain that to you people. If she said “its my last night nursing,” you should automatically assume she has a great reason for that and knows best. Not that she made some uneducated off the cuff decision. IMHO, breast feeding moms are sometimes the literal worst ever.

      1. Eh, so it looks like taylor has some unresolved issues…

        You’re really going on the attack with these women simply trying to be friendly and inform about nursing and weaning, aren’t you? You wrote the exact same comment to another well-intentioned person–do you honestly believe Ali needs someone to go around angrily defending her decisions for her?

        This person commenting clearly wrote she did not read all the comments, and perhaps she’s not an avid follower of Ali’s blog. What’s the big deal if this lady hasn’t been following every single blog post and happens to comment about breast feeding?

        Seriously. You seem so offended that people are not reading every damn blog post, like Ali is your BFF or something. And since you claim that Ali is so “strong and capable,” why don’t you let the woman speak for herself in her own comments? I’m sure if she was really that offended, she would say so.

  89. I know it’s hard, but it doesn’t get much easier (at least not yet for me). I still miss my little guy like crazy and worry the whole time I’m away from him, and he’s almost 2 and a half! Just try to focus on having some me-time and refreshing. Getting pictures texted to you will help, so you can see how she is doing throughout the day. I would recommend against FaceTime because at this age, it’s out of sight out of mind and she might get upset seeing you but not having you there. I’m sure she will have a great time with her daddy and grandma! Hugs momma!

  90. Hi Ali!
    I’m totally in the same boat. My husband and I decided to drop my 14 month old’s morning nursing session about a month ago, and he’s been doing great. So then just this past weekend we decided to try to put him to bed without nursing just to see if he could (trying to get to the point where he could have a babysitter), and he did fine…but now I feel like, wait, what just happened? I don’t nurse him at all anymore then? I didn’t even realize it until it just happened. I guess I didn’t expect him to be so easy going. I didn’t expect it to work. Your insta story brought tears to my eyes because that’s exactly how I feel. I didn’t even know my last time nursing him was the last time. Just wanted you to know you aren’t alone, and you definitely aren’t crazy regarding your first night away from her. And of course I have to say Molly is the cutest and I love her “twerking” in Kevin’s recent story. So sweet. Stay strong mama. You got this.

  91. I just watched your snaps of you getting emotional about your last time nursing Molly and I totally know exactly how you feel. I felt that way the last time I nursed my little girl. She was 14 months old and she pretty much weened herself and I remember the last night nursing her, before I put her down, and just started crying because I knew it was my last time. It’s an amazing thing to do and there comes a point where you’re ready, she’s ready, or a trip comes up and it kind of gives you that extra push to just stop. Either way, I feel like you need to cry, you deserve it. What an anazing journey, it’s ok to be sad. It’s such an emotional adventure. It was a journey you and Molly did together. No one can take that experience away from you. Plus you’ll have more babies and breast feed them too so you’ll have that to look forward to again. I’ll tell you one thing, it was nice having my body back. All the watching what I could eat or drink. It was nice knowing I could have 3 glasses of wine if I wanted to.

  92. Ali last summer I took my 3 daughters to the beach for a couole of days & my oldest daughter was still nursing her 18 month old . She didn’t pump but was definitely full by the time she got home & he just continued to nurse . She also asked her mother in law to come help her son because he owns his own deli’s & they knew he would have to go at any given moment . He is such a mamas bit but actually did very well . Molly will get that you aren’t there & she will do great too !!!

  93. I have a 15 month old daughter and have to travel for work often. It is difficult, but I always try to focus on the unique opportunity it gives her to bond with someone else who loves her. It gives dad or grandma (or whoever) the chance to do those things that they might not have the chance to do when mama is around. I find that if I am not there, my daughter lets other people put her to bed, or give her love. Might be nice for both of them to have that opportunity. Good luck and all the love!

  94. Good luck Ali! I hope your trip goes well. That must be so hard to leave her, but you all will do great πŸ™‚

    I don’t have any advice, as I’m not a mom yet, so won’t pretend to know what it’s like! Just wanted to comment to send some support and positivity!

    If you ever have time to share advice on how you handle living in a different state than your parents, I would totally appreciate that. I live in and grew up in Boston, but am moving to Chicago at the end of August and am nervous to leave my family! My husband and I just got married in May and are thinking of starting a family in the next year or two, but am scared to without having my family there!

    Thank you in advance.

    Hope all goes well this week! Good luck!


  95. Hi Ali,
    I just wanted to say that I just love watching all your videos and reading your blogs about Molly! My baby girl will be one on July 19 and I will also be leaving her for a night for the first time in September to go to Nashville. I’m still very attached to her to the point we still co-sleep! I’m still nursing her as well! This whole mommy thing is hard and I think your doing an amazing job!

  96. Hi there! You have already gotten so many responses i habe read them all. BUT our babys are only a few days apart. My son is turning 1 tomorrow. I left him maybe twice. And of course as a mom we will worry alittle. But they end up being perfectly fine! They are still little enough that they can get easily distracted and not miss us too much. Its also important that she knows when you leave you always come back so its ok for you to leave and that its ok for dad to put her to bed too. Huggs. Also you dont have to stop breastfeeding if you really dont want to! It seems like its going well for the two of you so why stop? Well…im sure you have your reasons πŸ™‚ best of luck

  97. I can totally relate to the emotions of being done with nursing and leaving your baby for the 1st time. My husband and I just got away for a night for the 1st time in a year and a half and even though it is our 3rd baby it was still tough. I stopped nursing a week before his 1st birthday and cried like a baby. I would say allow yourself grace for the feelings. They are totally normal. It is hard to watch our babies grow and know they won’t need us in the same ways, but it really does continue to get better as they get older. Good luck!!

  98. I have to start by saying that I never comment on things…but I feel you deserve as much advice and encouragement as possible. My little, and only, one will be one at the end of the month and I have traveled for work since he was 3.5 months old. I remember the first trip – I cried for three days leading up to leaving; but the morning I left I was able to hold it together and say goodbye because I knew I was leaving for my job which is ultimately to give my little man the world ☺️ FaceTime will be your best friend. I try to carve out time in my schedule to make sure I at least get to see him in the evening after his dad picks him up from daycare – and bonus if it’s more than once that day. And I ask his daycare to send me pictures to keep me updated with what he’s up to – even though when I’m home I never ask for updates. Our in home daycare is wonderful and it makes it so much easier to leave him knowing he just loves her and the rest of the kids, and knowing she keeps me in the loop. It’s not easy…I have taken 11 trips and it always breaks my heart but I know he doesn’t forget me and look forward to his smile and cuddle every time I come home. BTW…I am a breastfeeding mama, so I have not only been traveling but also navigating it all while pumping. It’s possible. So if you planned to quit nursing now then that’s excellent; but if the idea of traveling and pumping is daunting, don’t hesitate – it is worth it and you can do it.

  99. Babies have a way of surprising us! I’ve never left my 16 month over night, but my husband has had to put her to sleep without me (she’s a mommy’s girl when it comes to that) and it surprisingly went so well! Maybe because she knew I wasn’t there?
    Also, one night away doesn’t mean you have to stop nursing. I’ve missed a few afternoon and night feedings and I’m still nursing. But if you plan on stopping, it’s a good way to do it (how I did it with my eldest).
    I think it’s ok to ask for updates, but I ask my husband not to tell me if she cries a lot (he tells me the next day though) ’cause I’d just spend the evening/night guilt tripping myself. Not fun.
    Oh motherhood. Enjoy your time away and honestly coming home to our baby after some time away is the best ❀️

  100. I do not have any advice as I have an almost one year old and haven’t left her overnight with anyone. Heck I balled like a baby when I had to drop her off at a babysitter for the first time when my maternity leave ended and didn’t even want to leave her with just my husband to go out with my friends for coffee. haha. But I did and I was ok. It’s probably more comforting that she is staying with family but you will be ok mama! And I am sure the wine will help πŸ™‚

    Love your outfit and your style, esp your haircut!

  101. Hi Ali, I’m not a parent yet but I’m a teacher in a daycare/preschool. I have experienced lot of parents leave their kid for the first time. It is so scary leaving a little one .My advice is to take a deep breath and think this is just temporary. It’s not forever. Your sweet molly will do just fine.Think positive thoughts instead of negative. You CAN do it girl!! Sending love ❀️

  102. Same boat, mama! I will be leaving our little guy on Thursday – overnight. Overall, I’ll only be away from him less than 24 hours, but I’m still struggling! I saw your Instagram story & I’m still breastfeeding, too – so it’s all bittersweet. He has definitely started to self-wean within the last few weeks. We are down to nighttime nursing, then first thing in the morning; so, I totally understand the whole “comfort” thing! I’m going to try my best to enjoy myself & you should totally do the same! Babies are super adaptable. And with Kevin & your MIL there, she will be in heaven with all of the attention. Good luck! <3

    1. She started to self wean too! She refused to nurse anytime other than the morning (when I’m most full) We are down to one nursing a day so I feel like this is naturally the best time to stop.

      1. Our little one (turned 1 in June) pretty much weaned herself too. She nursed twice a day, then only in the mornings, and for about a week and a half she nursed once every other day Til we just stopped almost unknowingly. I too felt very emotional that it was coming to an end, but letting her self wean brought about a natural stopping place. And made it a lot less emotional/sad for me. I thought for sure my milk would just dry up, but it’s been several weeks and there is still milk there. My advice would be to continue nursing if you both desire upon your return. If you’re both ready, then don’t pick it back up. Momma knows best! Best of luck as you leave her overnight and finish nursing!

  103. It’s really hard the first time but after you get back you will realize that it was good for everyone! You will feel great getting me time and it will be so special seeing your husband and molly bonding more. I had my husband send pictures and videos while I was gone. And it was so special seeing them have the best time! He insisted that I go (on a girls trip) because he wanted to have special alone time with our daughter! So sweet! I really don’t like leaving her but I love when I get alone time with my husband or with friends. And really my daughter has no problem with other people at all ha! You got this mama!

    As far as breast feeding. It is sad but also it’s so nice to get your boobs back ha! I had an issue with oversupply so I always had to wear breast pads… for a year! I hated it!! I was really sad about not nursing but I just did it gradually. I’m sure you will have some milk when you get back. So just give her some bottle for other feedings. She will still snuggle when she drinks from a bottle. That’s what I love! And just think you will have another baby so it’s not over forever yet!

    1. We are already down to one nursing a day so I fear that I will dry up when I’m away. But I don’t want to pump! I promised myself I was done with that. And I think I am ready to stop. But I don’t feel 100% so it’s freaking me out a little bit!

      1. You won’t dry up in one day I promise. I had to pump a week after my final pumping session because I had pain and a slight buildup….i pumped a couple ounces. You’ll be fine after one day!

        1. let her make her own decision. she said twice what SHE wants for HER and HER child, yet youre STILL inserting your own opinion? Im so sorry for this for you, Ali.

          I support you!

          1. Wow, I now feel sorry for YOU, taylor. Are you some kind of crazy, obsessed Ali fan who simultaneously hates all mothers who breast feed?

            Ali herself said above that she is afraid she will “dry up when [she’s] away.” She added that she “thinks” she’s ready to stop breastfeeding but doesn’t feeling “100%” sure about the decision. Then when someone else responded in a supportive way, you come down again, attacking her for no reason.

            Moreover, you tell Ali that you feel “so sorry” for her and that you support her. Let me be honest with you here, you sound desperate and batshit crazy. Ali is a celebrity with a popular blog, etc. and what appears to be a very happy life with her husband and daughter. She doesn’t need you feeling sorry for her. And based on the hundreds of highly supportive comments on this single post, I don’t think she cares about your support, which is bordering on insanity.

  104. Ugh such a tough first this one! I’m a nurse and work a lot of nights so for us it was just that, our reality! I’ve been back to work for almost a month now and most evenings when I leave for work I still cry. I think my biggest piece of advice is to allow yourself to cry and feel what you need to feel. I had some loved ones try to give me tough love and that’s just not the mamma I am! My wee guy also takes comfort from me rather than Dad but I will say with this transition it has allowed Dad and babe to develop that bond too. Also FaceTime is our lifesaver! If I get a chance when I’m at work I get to call and see blow kisses and say goodnight and it gives me reassurance that he knows I’m here and also I get to see that he is smiling and happy with Daddy!
    Best of luck, enjoy your trip….but you will be eager and racing to get home I’m sure!

  105. Good practice for you. Our whole lives are spent letting go bit by bit. My last child moving out this month. I’ve been through a lot of letting go to get to this. The goal: for your children to always want you but never need you. And if they do you’re there in a heartbeat.

  106. I left my 11 month old daughter for the first time a few weeks ago. I was gone for 5 days and 4 nights. We also had my mother in law come to help out. I think the anticipation was worse than anything. I cried when I left and the entire way to my destination. After that I had some wine and was mostly fine. We had just bought the nest camera for her nursery so I could log into the app any time and see her if she was sleeping or playing in the nursery. I really loved that! I also was worried about losing my milk supply because I’m not ready to be done breastfeeding so I just made sure to pump every few hours and all was good!

  107. Just remember, it’s much harder on you than Molly. It is very healthy for both of you to be apart. The more you do this, the easier it gets. It’s good to leave the kids with others – they might not do things the exact way you do them, but that IS OKAY! I also think you should let Kevin put Molly to sleep more often – she needs to know that it is okay. It’s also okay if she cries. If you don’t let her do this, she will learn that if she cries, she will get her way. Have a fun trip and trust that Kevin and his mom will do a great job! I’m sure you and Molly will have a very happy reunion in a couple of days!

  108. Oh Ali, I just started to ball my eyes out watching your insta story- my daughter is almost 1.. which means I go back to work soon.. I’m a nurse and work shift work, days and nights and am still nursing 3x a day. And I’m sooo upset about starting to wean. It’s the only thing that JUST I can give to her. But now she’s starting to bite and be less interested but ugh!

  109. Ali,
    I know exactly how you fell! I had to leave my 11 month old to go to Paris because I was in a wedding in May. It was 4 whole days of not seeing her and it was so incredibly stressful leading up to it. Everything went better than I thought and I was even able to enjoy myself. I found that right before leaving was the absolute worst, I almost didn’t get on the plane.

    In terms of nursing, how often are you still nursing/pumping? If you are able to pump at least to close to that number of times per day, you should be able to continue nursing when you get back. I was so afraid my daughter wouldn’t nurse again after Paris, but she did! In fact it was the first thing she did was a dream feed when I got home around 11pm. I just pumped 4 days a day while I was away.

    I always planned to wean at a year but have decided that neither of us were ready so now I nurse morning and night and do cows milk all day. We are weaning slowly on our own terms instead of abruptly, and I’m really happy with my decision.

    Wishing you the best of luck!!

  110. In regards to the breastfeeding, if you are ready to quit, this would be an ideal time to do it. When I was trying to quit, my pediatrician told me to go out town for a few days. It was a bit painful but it worked. I did bring a larger size bra which I ended up using when I became engorged but I didn’t allow myself to pump.

  111. Rip the bandaid off! This way she won’t be 5 years old, and you’ve never spent a night away. Maybe I’m a horrible mother, but I have an 11 month old, and I’ve left her 4-5 times. They’ve all been one night except for one was 3 nights. I promise it’s more of the anticipation and build up making you worry than the actual being away part. Yes, you will of course worry and want pictures….because duh! Enjoy the time. It will be good for you and her. It makes it lots of fun to see her after you’ve been gone a day.

  112. My girl just turned 1 on Friday and I haven’t left her yet, so I can’t relate to that… but as for ending the nursing relationship I can say with certainty that I LOVE snuggles so much more now because she wants me for ME not for the boob. After her birthday party this weekend she could not settle down to sleep so I sat and rocked her like a baby (she never lets me hold her like that) for 30 minutes. She was awake the whole time. She was quiet, peaceful and snuggly. Just her and me, no agenda. I will treasure that forever. That truly made me feel like a mommy. She just needed her mommy.

    The point is that she will always need you! She will always need your comfort. You’ll always be her best mama. In my opinion it’s better than being needed as a pacifier.

    I know you’ll do great!

  113. I’ve only ever left out almost two year old with my parents or parents in law! She has a sleepover with them about once every two months so much husband and I can have some ‘us’ time or go out and have a good time with friends! I’m dying to get her as soon as we wake up, even if we had one too many cocktails on our ‘parents night out’ lol!
    Also I breastfed until she was 15 months old, and for about a month I only did it before bed, I found it helped to slowly stop and give her and myself time to adjust. I cried about it too, it’s very emotional! Good luck, and enjoy your time πŸ™‚

  114. You are Mama strong and will get through the next 2 days. I have a 15 month old that I exclusively nursed until 14 months (and then immediately got pregnant with #2 lol which we are thrilled about). The next 2 days will fly by with your work and your mama-in-law and hubby will be an amazing team to care for Molly while you’re gone. Lots of FaceTime, scroll through the millions of photos in your camera roll, and just think about how extra sweet that reunion will be later this week. You got this Mama!

  115. Hi Ali,
    First I want to say you are a gorgeous, Loving Momma. The bond that breatsfeeding creates is like no other. That is what is making it harder for the separation. Physiologically your body and mind think no one can do what you are supposed to. It’s a tough one, I’ve been there.
    Why do you have to stop nursing? Are you forced to bc of the travel, or do you want to be done?

  116. Hey Ali,

    I am not a momma but I dunno if this would make it worse or better… you could FaceTime or Skype on your iPad and phones. Just s thought so at least you could tell Molly good night and good morning. And she could see you and you could see her smiles in the morning. Good luck. Try to enjoy NY. I love it that Kevin’s mom is flying out. I’ll do the same when I have kids. πŸ™‚ thoughts are with you, Kevin and Molly. She’s adorable!

  117. Oh my goodness! I totally feel your pain! I’ve cried many tears over every time I thought was going to be my last nursing session. Since my daughter was just over 10 months old and decided she didn’t want to nurse anymore. Thankfully she would still nurse at night after about a week of a strike. Eventually she allowed nursing before nap as well. I was terrified my supply would deplete. It has adjusted and I take domperidon to keep it up! My daughter is now 13.5 months and still nursing. Just because you’re leaving her for the first time doesn’t mean you need to be done nursing. You can be done when you’re ready! Obviously short notice to get to a dr. For a prescription but try blessed thistle and fenugreek supplements while you’re away from her to keep up your supple (3 each 3x per day) and pump! I can totally relate and you have the power to do whatever you’re comfortable with. If it’s be done nursing you will get through it! If it’s continue nursing, you and Molly will get through it! Good luck with whatever you do! From a mama who knows she’ll be weaning for good in the next month!

  118. Remember that her concept of time is much different than yours right now! For all she knows you just ran to the store. I’ve had many mamas give me advice to take advantage of this time in their life when they don’t fully understand the concept of you being gone. Enjoy your time away! The first night away from my daughter was hard, but then it gets a little easier each time. Look at it as a time for you to reset your mommy battery and come back even better for little Molly. You’ve got this!

  119. Leaving your little one for the first time is sooooo hard but can also be very empowering. She will be in wonderful hands as you already know.

    I left my little girl for 4 nights for the first time and cried my eyes out when I left but then did well. I personally did best keeping in touch with her and her older sister. FaceTime was very helpful for me as soon as I got to the airport m, it just helped me to relax. And about the nursing, if your not ready to give it up then don’t. More then likely she will be very excited for you to come back home and snuggle and nurse. I was actually trying to ween my daughter and we were only nursing once a day at the time I left and I thought for sure it would be all done when I got back. That was soooooo not the case. She wanted her “mama milk” soon as I got home. So just do whatever is best for you!! Safe travels!!!

  120. I know how you feel. I had to leave my little girl for the first time when she wasn’t quite 3 months old. I had to go out of town for 3 nights to take the bar exam. I had to keep reminding myself I was doing it for her and for our family. The best advice I can think of is just to keep busy. I’ve taken 2 other overnight trips without her since then and she’s 14 months old now. They’ve both been fun trips and not work trips, but I would give the same advice – just try your best to keep busy. I actually just got back from 2 nights away and she stayed home with daddy.
    As for Molly and Kevin time – the best bonding time ever is when moms not around.

    Also saw over on IG that you’re having a rough time with the end of nursing. I’ve been there too. I had set myself a goal to nurse until my daughter was a year, but my career changed directions when she was about 8 months and I slowed down and there was zero chance to pump and even when there was I wasn’t making enough anymore and I just kinda dried up. I missed that special time with her especially because it had been how we started and ended every day. Since she wasn’t a year yet we had to switch to formula and I could tell that was giving her what I couldn’t anymore and honestly it made things a little easier cause my daughter was not always a peaceful eater. It was a lot easier to throw some formula in the diaper bag than plan my whole wardrobe and try to wrestle her when she was hungry. I’m sad that I didn’t meet my goal of a year (I was about 2 months shy) and I’m sad I don’t get that special bond long time with her anymore bit now we have other things and playtime and I see how much she’s growing. It’s hard at first but it does get easier.

  121. I nursed my baby girl for 13 months and left her for 3 nights when she was 7 months to go to Nashville and one overnight before that and another one after. I was able to pump while away from her and had enough stored for her to take from a bottle while I was gone. If you are not ready to stop nursing then you don’t have to! I hated leaving her and not being there for bed time. I now have an 8 month old and have yet to leave him overnight. It’s def harder on us than them though . Good luck!

  122. Love your blog! We left our son overnight a few times and it has always been Grandma or grandpa putting him to bed. The first night was THE hardest because I thought I was the only one that could comfort him and do bedtime routine just perfect. I am a little crazy! Turns out he did great with every different person putting him to bed and now it is easier and easier to do dinner out and other events without me.
    You will do great! Drink wine. Get an update or two and enjoy your time away!

  123. It’s so hard to leave your little ones!! I travel quite a bit for work and thankfully it’s gotten easier over the last year or two (I have two little ones…ages 4 and 2 currently).

    My advice for you would be to think of this as bonding time for Molly and Kevin. My kids are ALL about me and not my husband (same situation, makes me feel so bad for my husband!) – so I view my time away as really good time for them to bond. And, my kids do NOT act that way for my husband when I’m gone. I think sometimes kids give up the “act” when mommy is not there. I think shifting to that mentality will help you – Kevin and Molly bonding time :).

    And – definitely try to spin this as a fun night away from you. If you have a chance to go out for a drink with friends/colleagues – do it!!!!!! Or, just order room service and relax and enjoy your time in the hotel by yourself, getting a good nights sleep! And of course, FaceTime first thing in the morning with cute little Molly :).

    In my experience – the anticipation is WAY WORSE than the actual trip. So just get out the door (shed a few tears, of course) – and then it will be better and done before you know it πŸ™‚

    Good luck!!

  124. Awww, your intastory almost made me tear up when you were almost tearing up! I feel ya! I definitely had a day or two of ‘mourning’ (best word to describe it) when my last baby was done. It is very sad and full of emotions. I had to call a co-worker who has older kids who I knew breastfed to talk to. My hubby couldn’t relate and neither my mom or mil breastfed very long and none of my friends were done having babies/breastfeeding! I didn’t realize I would get so emotional about it. So you’re not alone!

    BUT- maybe you don’t have to be done? My husband and I went away for over 30 hours one weekend and when I came back my 13 month old still nursed for 2 more months. But maybe you know that won’t work bc of supply, etc etc but just wanted to throw that out there!!

    1. Oh and I also cried my eyes out when I left my first for the first time, but he was totally fine without me! I was worse off than him! And he is a mama’s boy! The second kid, I was like, see ya! Lol.

      Kids are always better when they don’t know you’re nearby. She’ll know you’re gone and not an option, and she will accept it! Believe me!

  125. The first time I left my daughter overnight was when I had my son! I had to spend 2 nights in the hospital and away from my 2.5 year old…. it was terrible (for me) but she was fine. I wish we had done some trial runs before though because I was so emotional after having baby 2! My hubby and I are going to Vegas for 3 nights in August and leaving my now 4 year old daughter and 20 month old son with grandparents and I’m anxious about it too… but I think change can be good for them and it gives them some special bonding time with their grandparents. I think the actual leaving part will be the hardest but I’m sure they will have fun.

  126. Would love to hear how weaning works out! Good luck! I left my daughter for 1 night at 9months and again just under a year. It’s rough but you and she will survive! My daughter will be 1 next week and I’m planning to wean soon so I would love any/all advice.

  127. Hello Ali!! My heart definitely there with you the first day I had leave our little Lydia (she is 13 months old now πŸ˜€) when I first returned back to work from maternity leave and the first time we left her with a babysitter (other than grandma’s πŸ˜‰) was one of the hardest days! I think it was more for me than our little one since she just loves people!! Something I did that helped was warn who was taking care of her I might text them alot since this is a first for me as well! Ask for as many pictures and videos as you need throughout the day!! When I see how happy and peaceful she was helped me so much in knowing she was ok!

    I hope this helps you a little bit!! πŸ’œ

    PS I love your blog as a mommy who has a little girl around the same age! You have encouraged me so much! I hope this encourages you as well!! πŸ’œπŸ’œ

  128. Don’t stop nursing her! Okay here is why. She might associate you leaving with big negative changes. If you want to wean I wouldn’t did it so suddenly. Especially with it being your first night away.

    Nursing also doesn’t have to be all or nothing. If you haven’t already I would slowly cut out nursing sessions. I like to keep the bed time one until last. During the day you can distract them more with food and toys. Maybe for you guys, the morning one is your special time just the two of you so I would probably keep that one the longest of I was you. Just a thought from one nursing mom to another.

    My daughter turns one on the 28th and my husband and I are leaving her for two nights a month from now. I plan to pump at the times I am still nursing her and continue with nursing when I get home. So I totally understand what you are gong through! They only nurse for so long so I don’t want to scare her by abruptly ending that relationship.

  129. Thank you for posting those sunglasses! I’ve been dying to buy them:) Did you get the gold/silver ones?

  130. I left my baby girl for the first time overnight when she was just shy of 14 months. I also decided it was as good of a time as ever to wean was VERY hard. I cried in anticipation of it, and I cried a lot that night, BUT I am so glad I did it that way. I knew that she had no choice but to take a bottle the entire time I was gone, so it was probably the most ideal situation to start weaning too. Otherwise, I would have come home, gone right back to nursing, and then I wouldn’t have been able to do it on just a random day .. I felt that she maybe would have an easier time with weaning if the first 36 hours were away from me. And who knows how she would have done otherwise, but she did GREAT. I came home from my trip and went right to bottles with her, no more nursing, and she never missed a beat. She was happy to have me home, and that was all that mattered.
    It’s very tough on mama, but I think getting it over with – killing two birds with one stone by leaving her and weaning her at the same time – was for sure the way to do it for me.
    You’ll do great, and so will she. Great job, mama!

  131. the first time I left my son was when he was 18 months old. I thought we would be done nursing when I came back home, but he continued nursing as if nothing happened. So, if she’s ready to stop she won’t ask again…but she may ask when you get home! Have a good overnight!

  132. Hi Ali!

    I’m from Holland, and my parents live 30 minutes away from us. Because my mother mist her alone time with my father when we were little, they babysit our children regularly. Our children sleep there to. So we have date nights and sleep like angelsπŸ˜„ The first time is a little hard, but it gives also a lot of energy! And it is fantastic to see and cuddle Your children when you get back. It is al About letting go. But when you know she is in good hands, try to enjoy itπŸ’ƒ

  133. Hi Ali!! You are going to miss her and she’s going to miss you, but it makes coming home so much better! Wait until you see her face when you come home!!
    I just had my third little one a month ago, so I’m at the point where I need moments away πŸ™ˆ, but coming home each time is so amazing when they scream “mommy” and run into my arms!! Good luck! You got this!! ❀️

  134. i left my 4 month old for two bedtimes and i was not ready, but it was all ok!! the hardest moment was definitely waking up in the morning, not seeing him, and having to pump (downer). So my suggestion would be prep for the moment you think will the toughest!! I wish I’d planned a great breakfast or something to look forward to in the morning so I didn’t just sit and miss him and be sad. biggest advice is just try to enjoy yourself .. hope the project you’re working on is one you and enjoy and excites you! Just take the opportunity to immerse yourself in that and be ‘non-mom-ali’ for a few hours πŸ™‚ you’ll all be great!

  135. It’s nice to have a little bit of “me” time every once and awhile. And don’t feel guilty for feeling guilty! My baby is almost 19 mos. old. She’s such a good baby, but if I’m needing to go out for the evening, I just trust the person I put my trust in to put my baby girl to sleep and that all will be well. If anything goes wrong, I know I’m just a phone call away. And in your case, just a flight away.
    No one said being a mother is easy, (I think it’s the hardest job on the planet), but that’s what makes it so wonderful and beautiful. You have a little human who thinks the world of you. You know Molly is going to miss you like crazy (which, doesn’t that make you feel all good and warm inside?) You won’t be gone too long. FaceTime with her as much as possible! You’ll do just fine πŸ™‚

  136. I just wanted to let you know that I don’t think it’s weird at all that your having Kevin’s mom come out to help with Molly! My husband is in the military and we live on the opposite coast of our families. Next week is his military ball and I planned my parents trip out here to fall during that date πŸ™ˆ. I mean they have been meaning to come out anyways and I’m still in the “I’m most comfortable with having my kids watched my grandparents” phase too. 😁

    Also, I know it’s a scary thing leaving your little for the first time. It’s definitely harder on us mommas than the kiddos. She will do just fine and I’m sure you’ll be busy with work which helps defer your thoughts! πŸ™‚

  137. Hi Ali!,

    We had to leave our daughter with my husbands parents over a weekend when my daughter was only 3 months old (she is nearly 11 months now).

    There is no way to stop your heart from being worried sick, but the best piece of advice I can give is to honestly just set your expectations a little lower and know it will all be okay. She may not go to sleep on time or in the same way, they may give her an extra milk (or two) to get her down, they may use methods or do things you’re not normally used to. And you have to let it go!

    She will be okay in the end. And think, it’s only for 1 and a bit days. Even if it’s the worst 36 hours ever, everyone will manage. And get through it one way or another. She is in good hands with your husband and mum in law.

    Try to enjoy the extra sleep and time to get ready. And call when you land to check in and ask for a photo will help! All the best with the trip! ❀️❀️

  138. I left my daughter overnight for the first time when she was 14 months old. For me, the hardest part was just missing her. If it works with your schedule and the time difference, FaceTime Molly sometime during the day. My other piece of advice is to tell Kevin and your MIL to only reach out to you in the event of an emergency. If they are sending updates all day, it will just make being away harder. Without the constant updates, you can focus on what you are doing and know that no news is good news!

    Regarding stopping nursing, you will love the freedom! I had a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding but was sad when I stopped. Molly will still want to cuddle just as much, I promise! It’s a mama thing, not just a nursing thing πŸ™‚

  139. Hi!! This comment is in regards to you stopping nursing…….be so thankful she is self weaning. We are still nursing at 16 months with no end in sight according to my daughter. She’ll probably want to comfort nurse when I drop her off to college!! Remember to take care of your body to avoid clog ducts or anything worse.

    Also, and I’m not sure if anyone else made this suggestion, maybe invest in a piece of breastmilk jewelry. There are a lot of companies on line that will make a piece of jewelry with your breastmilk. I used the company Lait de la vie. I do not work for them or even know the woman. She does beautiful work and her customer service is SO GOOD! It takes a while about 6 or more weeks. I have two pieces: one for me and one for her when she is older. Whenever I have to go to work and I’m having s low day, I wear my piece to feel closer to her. Because I am wicked sentimental, when I pumped the milk to send in, I had my daughter laying in front of me, I took a picture, and I set that outfit aside after we were done. When I have that piece on, I am instantly brought back to that time, and it makes the low day not so low.

    Best of Luck!!

  140. Molly will have the time of her life with her Grandmama & Daddy.
    Can’t wait to hear about your trip and your Mother/Daughter reunion when you come home.
    Enjoy & safe travels πŸ’›

  141. The first time I left my little I cried and felt a tsunami of mom guilt. To be honest at 2.5 it still happens.. but I find myself recovering faster as each time passes. I remind myself that I am still me and that I deserve the time to do me like things. Balance is hard but so important. I have friends drive me to the airport as good byes are easier at home but then I always have them pick me up. There’s no better feeling especially after owning a work trip then coming home to my family.

    At 7 months my little would roll from the boob and could honestly care less. We had a difficult nursing relationship so I knew it was time. I cried for weeks as I ended the process but once I did it was as if a new door opened and one gently shut. The best advice I’ve gotten is they won’t remember these times, so while it’s hard on us if we are doing what is best for us then it’s ok!

    You’re doing the best you can and that’s more then enough!

  142. I can’t believe you haven’t been away from her yet!! You need a break girl! We had to go to Mexico for three nights when baby was 4 months old and it was AWFUL. My husband was a groomsmen in a wedding… but I think I face timed too much with in laws. I also had to go on week long work trips at age 6 mos and 9 mos and those were easier due to being busy with work! You will be fine! Maybe FaceTime in the evening? My parents have also put baby to bed twice when we went to a concert / date night and our baby did well! I think they can sense momma isn’t there so they go to bed more easily for the other person/people. You’ll be ok!!!! Hang in there! Have you thought about doing daycare one day a week or anything? I think it helps them a lot!

  143. I have a 5 month old and I’ve been away from her for 3 nights (not in a row). What worked for me was to keep myself busy! And the excitement I felt seeing her the next day made the time away worth it! You’ll get through itπŸ™‚

  144. Hi Ali,

    I can totally relate to this! It isn’t easy. I spent a lot of time texting to see how my daughter was and asking for pics and videos when I was away for 1 night. My daughters name is Harper and she is now 3! She is going to be just fine, she is so blessed to have you and Kevin! Try and enjoy your quick trip, and just be looking forward to all the hugs and kisses when you return!

    Myrtle Beach, SC

  145. Hey ali, leaving your babe over night is the hardest! I had to leave my daughter (who is now 16 months) for a few days when my dad got sick and she was 6 months old and I was still breastfeeding at the time. Me leaving her didn’t affect my supply I just pumped every time she would normally eat. And I FaceTime her quite a bit. I was so fortunate as my husband knew all of her routines and I wasn’t worried about her at all. Just know you both will be ok! Try and breathe

  146. Hi Ali,

    In a few short years you will be like me and you will be leaving your 9 year old at sleep away camp for the first time and will be hugging and kissing her and you will get the straight arm and your daughter will look at you with eyes that clearly say ..bye mom!!! Enjoy your time and you both will be just fine! πŸ˜‚

  147. Ali,
    No worries at all! The first I Leo my little one he was 3 months! We left out of town for a wedding in Texas! It broke my heart so much to leave him, I cried each of the 3 days we were gone. My husband’s parents watched him and I called every chance I got and asked for photos and FaceTime as well. I felt bad because I wasn’t going to be there for bath time or sleepy stories but the photos and calls helped ease the worry just a bit. I survived the trip and he was just fine when we came home. I am leaving for a business trip in September for a week and I will be doing the same while I am gone… so my advice is just take time to face time / snap chat and call to help reassure you that she is fine. It’s one night and Kevin will be great at putting lil Molly to sleep. No need to over worry. πŸ’š (P.S a glass of wine will also help the worry)

  148. I still haven’t had the courage to leave my 2 1/2 year old overnight! He also just stopped nursing so that’s been a big factor. I think it’s because I feel guilty leaving him while I work part-time. With weaning I think it helps if she has another comfort object besides your boobs πŸ™‚ Knowing that she’ll be sleeping most of the night can be comforting! Good luck! And New York seems like a great place to get away for a night!

  149. I know how you feel!! I’m going out to dinner with a friend this week and Daddy is going to do bedtime for the first time! I’m not even going to be leaving for overnight but I still feel a little sad/anxious about it. Especially because my son is not very cuddly and so I love bedtime because it’s the only time he wants to snuggle! Overnight is going to be ok though, I’m with ya – just drink all the wine πŸ˜‰

    Also – we are flying with our son next month and I’m super nervous. Any tricks you have learned traveling with Molly?

  150. I left my son(now 3) overnight the first time when he was 4 months old cause I had a hysterectomy, and even though he was with my husband, it was still hard on me.. in a few ways! Lol! And my hubby and I left him overnight with my parents when he was a year old. Right now, my hubby has the kids (our son and my 14 yr old step daughter) on a camping trip, and it’s STILL hard not being with them! My son is totally a mommy’s boy, and loves his momma snuggle time before bed! And I miss it too, even though I have managed to get a ton of house projects done without little hands “helping”!

  151. Hi, Ali! I have 3 little ones, ages 7-1.5, and I remember leaving my oldest for the first time. It was hard up until I left, and then I was ok! Like many things, the anticipation is the hardest party. Little miss Molly is in good hands, and you’ll be ok as soon as your day is started. As for weaning, I nursed for about a year with each. It IS emotional to stop, but if you feel like it’s time and this is a good opportunity to do it, then it’s time. trust your instincts, mama! I know you’re dreading your time away, but enjoy it.

  152. Good luck and safe travels! My only advice (from a mom of three including twins) is to relax, let go of any guilt or anxiety as best you can, leave a snuggle tee shirt that smells like you to comfort her (one you might sleep in is great) and use this time to show her that parents come back and that Daddy can comfort too. He’ll do great even if he’s not always her first choice for comfort when you’re around. It’s always tough, but you’ll all do great. Also, I would suggest NOT facetiming with her while you’re away. It might just upset her. Lastly, if and when you do decide to leave her together, meaning both you and Kevin are away at the same time, do t forget to leave a notarized medical emergency form. Will allow your in-laws or whomever to support medical care decisions on your behalf if you are away.
    Ok, I think that’s enough advice from me! Good luck and enjoy.

  153. The first time I left my daughter overnight was for a girl’s weekend when she was 8 months. It seemed so soon but it was much needed! I was still nursing, so I just stocked the freezer with my milk and pumped the whole time on the trip (super cute while laying by the pool in Palm Springs!) Another girlfriend was nursing at the time too, so we were constantly doing the pump-and-dump, LOL! But I totally get the weaning thing, I nursed my daughter until she was 15 months- I never wanted to stop and still miss it to this day (she’s 4 now). It’s such a beautiful, bonding experience and it’s hard to let it go! Sending you love and strength for the next 24 hours!! ☺️

  154. Like previous posts, try not to over think, and check in. You KNOW Molly is in GREAT hands, so you have nothing to worry about. But when you do, make sure it’s to remind everyone how much you love and miss them, rather than to ask a million questions!

  155. You are strong for being able to leave her for the first over night. I think this post is great bc you will enjoy looking back on it after you have 2, 3…how ever many kids and see how different the tough firsts are with the firstborn. By the time y’all have #2 and #3 you’ll be pros and asking the mailman to watch the kids haha-not really the mailman but you get it πŸ˜‰ My out of town advise is make time to FaceTime with her. I’m sure y’all do this all the time but it’s what I did when I felt I was missing my baby. If timing and your schedule work out maybe you could even do it at her bedtime. She will hear your voice and see you and feel you there with her. Good luck! And enjoy your diaper free time! πŸ˜‰

  156. Hey, Ali! I felt so sad for you today when you had those huge tears in your eyes. I’ve been there! I have an 8 month old son who has spent one night away from home with grandparents. His mommies needed a night away and went to an out of town concert.
    In the end, it was way harder on us than it was for him. They’re so resilient and they get extra special treatment from grandparents when we’re away. 😊 We ended up having a great time at the concert and he did great without us. And it was a great bonding time with his grandparents. All I asked for was a few texts and pics to let me know he went to sleep and was happy. They happily obliged!
    As far as breastfeeding, I had to stop when he was 5 months old because he had a milk protein allergy that required formula. But you know what? He didn’t care. He was just happy to be fed and he was fine with whatever form it came in. You’ve breastfed Molly for over a year and she is weaning herself and telling you she’s ready to move on! Good for you, Mama! You’re winning at the parenting game.
    I hope you can enjoy your time to yourself. You deserve it. Safe travels!

  157. Hi Ali!
    As moms, it’s so hard not to think about every little thing regarding our babies. It’s what we are wired to do. We often get a little hard on ourselves thinking all of the things that could potentially go wrong or what’ll happen if we aren’t there for our baby. It’s good you’re going to experience going away because you’ll see that it isn’t so bad. Sure, you’ll still miss Molly. Our babies are literally apart of us, we carried them. I’m a teacher and going back to work wasn’t easy and I felt so much guilt before I dropped my Lilah girl off at her nanny’s house. I also had so much peace at the end of the day when everything went just fine. The first time I left her overnight, she was 5 months old and I felt the same way, my husband and I went on a 3 day trip to Chicago. But that turned out to be just fine too! (I had my mom send me way too many pics and Face Timed.) That was a long comment but try not to worry and overthink. Someone once told me, you’ll remember this way more than your baby ever will and it’s so true. Good luck mama! You will all do great. πŸ™‚

  158. I have two little girls and one on the way- it was so hard to leave for the first time, but it ends up being such a great and healthy thing for everyone. Great for Mom and Dad to get an overnight, great for little ones to be a little more flexible, great bonding time for the grandparents. Someone once told me that being a parent is about learning to let go a little bit more each day, and it’s so true. I’ll be putting one on the bus next year 😭 and it’s all part of the process of teaching them to fly, then letting go. Safe travels! πŸ’•

  159. Hi Ali! My husband took me on an overnight trip for our 1 year wedding anniversary and our baby boy was only 2 months old! It was so hard but his grandparents kept sending me pictures, updates and we even face timed before he went to bed so I could say goodnight! Yes it’s hard but just remember tomorrow will always come and you’ll be back home with that beautiful baby girl! Have a safe trip!

  160. Yes, it is so hard the first time, but it gets a little better! I had to go away 4 days for a work trip when my son (now 20 months) was only 5 months old! I was so sick about it that I got a huge migraine and ended up being in bed for a whole day in the hotel. I had to go again this year (just last month) and this time was much easier! Of course I miss him and hate being away, but mama got some alone time and enjoyed some much needed R&R and room service! You can do it πŸ™‚

  161. I left my daughter for the first time for a trip when she was 7.5 months old. I’m a stay at home/work from home mom. I didn’t get to interact with her the morning we went on our trip and it was hard. I’m not going to sugar coat it. I was used to nursing her in the morning and seeing her beautiful face and it was just part of my every day routine. The best way I can describe it is, it felt like I left for a trip and forgot my luggage and passport and got to the airport realizing I left the most important things. — because I HAD left THE most important thing at home. But — SHE was great. And once I got to my destination, I was able to relax and realize that she was in great, capable hands, and that she (like all babies) is a beautifully resilient little thing. I say have some wine and embrace some you time – because that’s so good for you, and also so good for her! (And request as many pics and updates as would make you feel comfortable) πŸ™‚
    And congratulations for nursing so long!!! That’s a huge accomplishment. Be proud the last time you nurse her and smile and celebrate all you’ve done for her 😘❀️

  162. This is crazy timing bc I’m leaving my 15 month old for the first time overnight (for THREE nights 😳) this weekend! I’m mostly just excited and while I have thought that he may be weaned when I get back, I haven’t thought about how I would feel about that. So thanks for helping me appreciate nursing this week. I will be so sad if he doesn’t want me when I get back! But also proud of him 😭

  163. Hey Ali!! Wow so many comments! Tons of support for you <3

    I had to leave my little dude for 48 hours when he was only 5months, it was super hard but I was also swamped with work so that made it go by super quick! And yes I tried to enjoy me time as much as possible. I also kept on pumping so I could continue nursing when I returned.
    I know you're sad about ending nursing BUT you're amazing for even doing it this long!! You have already created such an amazing bond with Molly and given her (literally) all that you have as a mama and so many women can't do that. You should tried to revel in that and be so proud! And then also be super excited to have your body back!
    I nursed my son as long as I felt was healthy for us both and I love that us time but man I was so thrilled when I could put the pump away!!! As a working mom, pumping sucks!!
    So congrats on an amazing job, and try to enjoy your trip as much as you can, and when you get home take ALL THE SNUGGLES πŸ™‚

    1. I’m seriously balling my eyes out reading all of these comments and seeing all the the support! I just love you all!!!!!!

  164. Ali, I have been reading your blog for a long time but have never commented before. I just really wanted to tell you that I think you are SUCH a good mom. I love seeing how you parent Molly- you are amazing!! I first left my daughter for a night (she just turned 2 last week) when she was 15 mos, and I cried for 45 min after I left (lol). I was emotional, and felt so dumb, but I think its actually really normal (according to other mom friends!), especially when you mostly stay home and are with them so much! My daughter was totally fine, and so was I, but it was just a little tough the first time. I also know when I quit nursing it was super emotional, so I think the two together are the perfect storm! Hang in there and be gentle w/ yourself. You will make it and so will she! Thankfully she is w/ your hubby and MIL and will be so well taken care of. That may help to focus on that! And also, think of how she will grow up to see you- such a great mom, but one who is doing awesome things, and providing such a wonderful example- working hard and putting her family first! By going on a little work trip, you are showing her the kind of woman she can become, and that is awesome! Thinking of you- you will do so well! xo

    1. Thank you for reading my blog and I am SO glad you commented! It makes me feel so happy to connect with people like you! All of you are why I work so hard on this blog every day! Thank you love!!!!

  165. I’m sitting here in tears rocking my 6 month old right now after reading your post and seeing your stories. I’ve had a rough couple nights with my little one waking every couple hours. But hearing about you leaving Molly and nursing her for the last time has reminded me that this is not going to last forever. I can’t bear the thought of the last time I nurse her, so for now I’m going to hold her tight and cherish every moment! I know you asked for advice, so I will say that stopping nursing right before you’re first time apart seems like too much all at once. If she wants to nurse when you get home, do it! But you know what’s best for you and her, so good luck either way. Praying for you while you go through the transition! And great job on doing it for as long as she needed!

    1. Your comment just made me cry!!! I am SOOOOO emotional! It definitely doesn’t last forever! You’ve got this mama!

  166. Ali, you might leave a message on Kevin’s and his mom’s phone for them to play for. Kevin can play it for her when putting her to bed and his mom when she gets up in the morning. The next best thing to momma is grandma. You are fortunate to have such a loving family to help you. Don’t worry to much, they will take good care of her while you are gone and you and she can have hugs and kisses when you get home.

  167. I promise it is harder on you. I recently left my almost one year old for a girls trip and let me tell you it was wonderful. As moms we need some time away and if anything distance makes the heart grow fonder. I think it’s hard because we feel guilt, just know your feelings aren’t always the truth. Your a great mom and molly is lucky to have you. Take a deep breath and have a couple of glasses of wine and enjoy yourself. ❀️

  168. The first and only I left my twins was when they were 18 months old and I kinda had to cuz I was in labour with my other baby lol. They did fine they didn’t even notice until they saw me and my husband. I don’t feel comfortable leaving my kids at all. I wish I did. Whenever I leave them to do something the mommy guilt kills me. It’s worse for us than it is them so try not to think about it even though it’s so hard.

  169. Hey Ali! I just wanted to say good luck. My daughter is almost the exact same age as Molly and I know it will be any day now that she nurses for the last time. It is so encouraging to read these comments- even though they aren’t really for me. Wish you all the best! Breastfeeding really is so incredible and it’s great to see how far we come from the first time to the last time.

  170. Ali, I don’t really have any advice but I teared up today seeing your insta story and reading this post. I was pumping at work this morning (sorry for tmi) and thought about how some days I just feel so exhausted from the nursing and pumping but how I’m going to actually be so incredibly sad when my daughter reaches the 12 month mark and we too will end our nursing journey. Hang in there mama it’ll be okay 😊 PS I love seeing yours and Kevin’s Insta stories. You can tell how much you really care about your readers and are share real life stuff and not the glamorous stuff. I’m so glad I found your blog!!

    1. Oh lord, reread that and was embarrassed about the typos I did. I was trying to say thank you for share the real life stuff and not just the glamorous parts. This tired mama is going to bed. Haha!

  171. I don’t have advice on leaving your baby for the first time but I had a tough experience transitioning my daughter to formula. I first tried including small amounts of formula in her milk but she would vomit exorcist style. Nothing worked until I tried including small portions of Nestle Good Start formula. It wasn’t my first choice but once she adjusted to full formula bottles I was able to mix and transition to the formula of my choice. In all it took a few months for her to not go crazy.

  172. Hi Ali! I have two daughters and I have a couple of things to share that I learned. Tell her that you are coming back. Explain to her that you are leaving but emphasize the words “coming back.” Then when you see her again, say “mommy came back!” She will learn that when you leave you always come back.
    Also, enjoy sleeping through the night with no interruptions. That is the best part!

    1. This is really good advice! My daughter is 2 and in the past had a hard time when I left her at the gym child care or at a friend’s house if I had a doctors appointment or something. I started emphasizing where mommy was going and that mommy was coming back to pick her up and now she always says “mommy come back” before I leave and after I return. So she definitely understands and knows what to expect.

  173. The first time I left my first born overnight was two months ago when I went to the hospital to give birth to my 2nd! He is 2 1/2. It was awful for me! I’ve always been overly attached to him so I never wanted to leave him for anything, but this time I finally had to and it was hard. He stayed with his grandma and everything was fine of course. He did have a little bit of a hard time bc I always put him down to bed and I’ve always been there in the morning as well. Obviously you know that everything will be just fine I just wanted to share that those feelings are totally valid!

  174. Hi Ali,
    I totally empathize with you. I didn’t leave my son (now 5) until he was 15 months and I had to go to a work conference for one day (was away from him for two nights). My husband had a really hard time putting my son to bed the second night and I was listening on the phone from the airport (don’t do that!!). Everyone survived and it was actually a bit liberating to be away for a day. I think I brought my full on regular pump which was ridiculous, but made me feel better/more in control.

    I left my daughter (now 2.5) for a night when she was 9 mos…also brought my pump with me. My husband and kids survived again 😊. I think it’s actually a great experience for the dads and the kids won’t remember anything. I think it’s great Kevin’s mom will be there to help.

    Try to enjoy being away as much as you can!! Molly has no real sense of the passage of time yet, so that’s good to remember.

    I thought after I left my daughter for two nights when she was 1.5 that would be the last time I nursed also. She was totally fine with my in-laws while my husband and I were away (a very much needed kid-free weekend), but as soon as she saw me again she started crying and asking to nurse. I couldn’t say no, I started crying!!! Eventually I got her off the sauce. Good luck and have a great trip.

    Ps – I’ve been following you since your days on the Bachelor. Thanks for sharing your life with us 😊

  175. Hi Ali, I love watching your Insta stories and following your blog! I have a 2 year old daughter and 4 year old son. When I bf my 2 for the last time at 14 mo. it was really emotional for me. She will most likely be our last child so it was the last time I would ever be breastfeeding. (Omg I’m about to tear up right now…what is wrong with me.) Anyway, I just remember really being present with her so I could enjoy the experience with her and so I could remember it forever. I think as moms we can become so busy that we aren’t always “present” even when we are right there. Does that make sense? I know for me there were so many times during breastfeeding that my mind was somewhere else or I was on my phone or trying to keep my older child occupied or quiet. But during those last few times when it really hit me that this was it, I made sure to make it count and it was really special.
    As far as you leaving over night… it will be ok! It sounds like you have a great plan worked out and Molly will be in great hands. She will be so excited to see you when you get home!

  176. Awe you poor mama I feel you it’s hard I left my second baby for the first time in March at 15 months for a work trip . I cried when I left and cried that night away. I drank wine cause well I was “free” and didn’t sleep cause I thought about him all bight. We are still nursing at 18 months.

    Stoping nursing is so hard but it really is about when you and molly are ready. Your story made me cry for you!! This may be a time that shows you it’s ok to stop or you may come home and think heck no what was I thinking. But always reminded yourself you gave her your very best for over a year. That mama is amazing ❀️ You’ve got this

  177. Think of the great gift you’re giving your mother-in-law. She gets to spend quality time with her baby and his baby. That doesn’t happen often. She will cherish that time for years to come.

  178. Hi Ali!
    My son is around the same age as Molly, he turned 1 on June 28th. It’s been so cool to follow along on your journey through motherhood as we are usually experiencing the same sort of things at the same time! I left Carter for the first 9 when he was 9 months old for my friend’s 30th birthday and I felt the exact same way as you (I was gone for less than 24 hours but overnight) It was tough and strange. I missed him sooooo much but we both survived. And the one-time was definitely very nice. The weirdest thing was waking up at 6am and not knowing what to do with myself! Haha. I have since been away from him a couple more times and honestly it gets easier!!! The first time is definitely the hardest. You will do fine and Molly will do fine. My guy is the same with my hubby, he’s definitely a mama’s boy haha… but I find that when I’m not around he is okay without me. It’s when he knows I’m near that he doesn’t want anyone but me. It will be nice for Kevin to have some quality time with Molly! Just try and look at it that way.
    Good luck! And have fun! xx

  179. Been through it too! Was harder for me than my son! But I suggest not to FaceTime. It failed everytime for us. Our son can’t handle seeing me or my hubby on the phone. He gets upset that he can’t reach us and it makes us sad 😭

  180. I am leaving my two month old for two nights to go to my best friends bachelorette party in Palm Springs this weekend and am super anxious about it. My husband will be with our babe so I know he will be just fine but I am also exclusively breastfeeding so that is going to be hard as well. The mom guilt is crazy and he is only two months old lol. I keep going back and forth with whether or not I should go for the two nights or even at all. My husband didn’t really get why I was making a big deal out of being away from him but he is so little and since I am breastfeeding he won’t have that comfort while I’m away. Have a great trip and try to enjoy your time away. That is my plan πŸ™‚

  181. Oh mama I feel for you! I’m a destination wedding photographer so when my little one was 4 mo I had to go to London for a photo shoot-I only made my trip for 48 hrs total so I wouldn’t be gone too long! Then when she was 8 mo I had to shoot a wedding in the Bahamas. It’s definitely hard, but honestly, it’ll go by so fast–especially when you’re working! It’s good for the both of you to spend a little time apart. And she’ll be so so happy to see you when you get back! Enjoy the time to yourself and know that you can do it!!!

  182. I just left my little boy for the first time for a whole weekend. I’m a single mom raising him on my own and had to go back to work earlier than I wanted. Thankfully it’s only part time for right now but this past weekend I had to work every night, so my parents took him camping. I missed him so much. Mom guilt came out hard because he would cry every time I face timed him and I knew he missed me but I had to work. It’s hard. I got him back yesterday and couldn’t leave his sight. But he woke up this morning so happy when he realized he was home.

  183. Check in often! Talk to Molly on the phone. She will learn when you are gone that you are still thinking about her. Your voice will sooth her and Molly’s voice with sooth you. She will get anticipate your phone calls and get excited! Stay connected. I call my grandkids overseas several times a day and the when they come back to the US, it feels like we have been together the whole time!

  184. Check in often! Talk to Molly on the phone. She will learn when you are gone that you are still thinking about her. Your voice will sooth her and Molly’s voice with sooth you. She will anticipate your phone calls and get excited! Stay connected. I call my grandkids overseas several times a day and the when they come back to the US, instant connection… Bonding

  185. Ali –
    I hope your trip is going well. My daughter Larkin is just a few months older than Molly and I left her for the first time when she was about Molly’s age and it was hard for me too (and she is my 2nd child)! Like you I knew I didn’t need to but I felt I was ready to be done nursing and although it was my choice it was super hard. In fact I ended up pumping on that trip because I just couldn’t quite do it and then two weeks later knew that it was time for both of us. One thing that I did that might seem a little crazy but is something I cherish is I had a piece of jewelry made out of my breast milk! It is just such a special time and for me probably my last so I wanted something to hold on to from it. I used mamas liquid love and was really happy with it but I think there are a few I other reputable places you can find on etsy and such. Also if you are still thinking of letting her watch tv, I highly recommend The Wiggles. It’s 15 minutes of singing and dancing and she loves it and I can chop some veggies, out in a loaf of laundry, or perhaps use the bathroom alone! Anyway I hope it helps to know you are in good company and lots of us feel the same way, I know it helps me!

  186. You’ve got this, Mama! It will be hard but everyone will be just fine. I didn’t leave my little one until he was 2.5 years old. Seeing how well he did, I regret not doing it sooner. As for Kevin, you will be amazed at how well he’s able to put Molly down. It’ll be different for him because you are not there. That’s what I find with my son. If I’m there, he wants me, but when I’m not there, Daddy is on it.


  187. Hi I am right there with you girl!!!! I’m weaning my second but last baby as we speak and I’m so emotional about it! Being a mom is hard and I haven’t left him either overnight yet. I thought I would be ready and willing to stop breastfeeding but it is something you commit to and work so hard to keep that supply and it means they are not a baby anymore and won’t need you as much! Thanks for always being so honest about your motherhood journey. If we can’t be there for each other than why is it called a community! Good luck and I hope at least you get some sleep. Thank god for FaceTime!

  188. Ali– you’ve got this girl!! As a Mom of 2 and I nursed for a year with both, I so get the sadness. I was so so sad when I stopped with my last because I knew I would never nurse again. But focus on all of the amazing things you’ve done– a whole year!!! If you google you’ll see the percentage of moms who breastfeed to even six months is super low, so a year is amazing!!! She’ll be just great!! Pat yourself on the back for being such an amazing Mama!! You rock girl!!

  189. Its very hard to leave our kids behind for work, but eventually you get use to it, and they too. Sometimes is healthy to get the chance to miss each other for a while, and Molly is going to love spend some time alone with grandma. Also sheΒ΄s a very smart kid and sheΒ΄ll understand that her mom is a succesful working woman and sheΒ΄s going to be very proud of you.
    As an advice i can tell you that all is in your head. Molly is going to be fine, she has her own world now, she needs space too sometimes, enjoy your time in NYC take a glass of wine, walk around and enjoy a big peace of cake in central park and enjoy the weather, meanwhile Molly will be having a blast with her grandma. πŸ˜€

  190. Leaving Molly overnight (or for a couple of days) is good for her and for your husband. Bonding time with Daddy is special and a necessity so as to not have a over-clingy baby or toddler. You also the time away to be YOU, not Mommy. Don’t think twice or feel guilt. Enjoy and have fun….and wine !

  191. Ali I was in the same boat with my daughter. I felt like I was letting her down when I decided to stop.

    I wrote her a letter ( I have a notebook full of letters from me to her that I want to give her when she grows up). I told her how hard it was on me and how I tried my best and how I felt like this was the right decision even though it felt so hard.

    Making this transition while being away from her for the first time must be SO EMOTIONAL. Hang in there!!! You are SUCH a wonderful Mommy !!! Your baby will be fine and so will you – but it is absolutely OK to cry!! (I did a lot!)


  192. I am sure others have said this but as a mom who has to leave her boys with their dad often for work travel – it is honestly good for them. I have 2 very clingy boys and the relationship with their father thrived during those days and fathers feel proud / useful when they get the chance to fill this role (even though they are exhausted). You are building resiliency in Molly that will help you and her ahead.
    I will say expect a change in her when you return – I either get the cold shoulder or even more clinging depending on the stage they are in. But do not feel bad! It is good for everyone and it will get easier.

  193. I’m a little late to this blog post but I saw your one from this morning about how the comments you got hurt quite a bit. Wanted to share my story.

    GIRL – my daughter is going to be 3 this Friday. I only JUST left her for the first time overnight, (I was gone from a Friday Night through Sunday Night, a red eye out of San Diego on that Friday and the latest flight coming back in Sunday at 11PM) two weeks ago. TWO WEEKS AGO. I hadn’t left my sweet little angels face for more than a couple hours in almost 3 FULL years. It is only natural that you had all kinds of feels. Plus, hey, you were nursing her. There is such a different bond and attachment between momma’s and babes when you nurse. I nursed for 13 months, and I remember that alone when I stopped that felt like the biggest blast of separation anxiety I’d ever felt.

    My point is, don’t worry about how everyone else deals with leaving their kids, how soon they can do it, how often they do it. Who comes and helps when you do. Just do what feels right to you. You’re doing amazing. Enjoy your time away. She’ll be waiting with big smiles for you as soon as you’re back.

  194. I saw your FB post about mamas judging you for being sad about leaving Molly overnight and being sad to stop breastfeeding–DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. It is SO hard to leave your little ones over night, and it doesn’t get any easier! The first time is torture, but each time is so hard. They are part of you and when you don’t have them with you, it’s so unbelievably difficult. You are so normal for feeling this way. I’ve seen how you interact with Molly via insta stories and you are such a good mama and she clearly adores you. That said, she’s in great hands with daddy and grandma while you’re gone. And when you see her, she’ll have the biggest smile on her face!

    And as for breastfeeding–I did it for 14 months with my son, and I cried during the last nursing session! It becomes part of you and it’s weird not having that bonding anymore. But it gets easier and she’ll be ok!

    You’re a great mom and you’re doing a great job. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

  195. I have a 7 and 10 year old girls and it IS hard to leave them. When my little one was born it was easier bc the little one was less clingy and wouldn’t cry when I left her. So for a few years I had no issue leaving them for a night if they were at grandma’s house. For some reason when they were 5 and 8 it all of a sudden was hard to leave them again. I don’t know what changed in me but if my hubby wanted to go on a weekend getaway I freaked out. I need them by my side. Every woman is different and you are allowed your opinion and feelings. Don’t let anyone judge you. Your feelings are your own. Good luck.

  196. I have a 5 month old little boy. I still cry when his dad comes to pick him up so I can go to work. I stand in my drive and wave till they pull out of sight and I cry. I’m a mom, I’m his mommy. He’s my world. Yes the break is so nice, but it’s still hard to see him go. Once I get to work I’m fine, by the time work is over I’m more than ready to get my little man.
    I’m taking my son to an out of state bachelorette party, for my cousin, I’m paying my moms way to come help me, cause I’m so not ready to leave my baby for 4 days and I’m not ready to stop nursing, that’s our bonding time. I have no shame in that.

  197. As a Grandparent of two grandchildren who live out of state I am thrilled when asked to watch the babies. I guess this is advice for all the new mamas reading this who don’t have parents living nearby. Ask us to help! We want to make memories too!

  198. Haters gonna hate:) Sorry to hear you are getting some negative feedback. Spending time away from Molly will never get easy but it is part of life. It is good for both of you. And maybe she will let Kevin put her to bed without tears because you aren’t there. I just dropped my 2 boys and husband at the airport. I won’t see them until Saturday morning. My 5 year old told me to look at photos so that I won’t forget him. Let me tell you…water works! But I have worked to do and they have family bonding and fun to have!

    Also – I said spending time away… leaving sounds so negative.

    Be kind to yourself. You are a good mom. And everyone else… Be kind too!

  199. Leaving your baby is so hard at any age, they say it’s good for you but it doesn’t feel good. I get it! I weaned my son at 17 months (only nursed at night) 3 months ago and I still miss it. It’s ok to feel sad, you put so much energy and thought into nursing then bam it’s over! It gets easier. We still rock before bed even tho he doesn’t nurse, he still cuddles with me and needs me just as much as before but he does have a sense of independence too. Hang in there momma, you did and are doing great!!

  200. I can totally sympathize and relate…I have two young kiddos both of which we rarely leave and both tend to prefer mommy when I am around. But in my experience, it is good for both baby and daddy to have that (forced) time together and they just act different vs. when they know I am in the other room. So fingers and toes crossed Molly does well and gives Kevin the snuggles and #1 parent status he so craves…and simultaneously you are able to enjoy your quick time away. No doubt it is hard and you feel constantly that your heart is in another place and worry/think about them often.

  201. I am so glad I am not the only one! My son is 14 months old and I have never left him either! But there definitely will come a time soon when I have to. I hope your trip goes well! By the way, I’m sure it is much harder on us mommas than the babes πŸ˜‰

  202. I remember leaving my son the first time overnight with my mother in law – he was a similar age and I cried to my mom! She said “this is the start of his relationship with his Nana! It’s so important” – couldn’t agree more!! That eased my mind!

  203. I totally feel for you, Ali! I went back to work when my daughter was three months old and had my first night away from her when she was five months. It was SO tough. It’s the feeling that no one can relate to unless they’ve been there. My advice is to take advantage of technology if you can. The time difference from West Coast to East Coast is tough. But if you can steal away to FaceTime for five minutes, it will be so worth it. Also, ask Kevin to send pictures throughout the day. Those pics meant the WORLD to me when I was traveling for work. Last, try to enjoy the solitude and time for you. Get a great book or just relax on the plane and have a glass of wine. Those moments are few-and-far between as a Mom. 😊

  204. I totally feel for you, Ali! I went back to work when my daughter was three months old and had my first night away from her when she was five months. It was SO tough. It’s the feeling that no one can relate to unless they’ve been there. My advice is to take advantage of technology if you can. The time difference from West Coast to East Coast is tough. But if you can steal away to FaceTime for five minutes, it will be so worth it. Also, ask Kevin to send pictures throughout the day. Those pics meant the WORLD to me when I was traveling for work. Last, try to enjoy the solitude and time for you. Get a great book or just relax on the plane and have a glass of wine. Those moments are few-and-far between as a Mom. 😊

  205. Hey Ali! Molly is in the best hands!! She will find comfort with Kevin in your absence! We left our twins for the first time when they were 15 months old!! It’s weird… your new normal is Molly, so to go away like you have so many times in your life seems strange now because your instinct is that you NEED to be with her. Spending some time away is necessary!! And the whole breastfeeding thing, you’ve given her the nutrients she needs! I read so many articles that said after the first year, your child gets most of their nutrients from food, breastmilk at that point is just a choice the mother makes. Don’t feel guilty about that, you’ve done your job πŸ™‚

  206. How did you go about weaning Molly? My daughter is almost 14 months and is boob obsessed!! She is also a firecracker so I’m just at a loss. She will take milk out of a sippy. She is also terrible at sleeping. Wakes up 2-3 times a night 😭

  207. You are not being dramatic. My husband and I flew to Texas when our kids were almost 3 and almost 1. I was a mess. Flying without your children is the most insane experience ever! It is different then just going out to dinner or being 3 hours away. It is intense. I almost could not have fun while I was there because I was so stressed that I was so far away. I definitely cried more than once while I was away! You will make it. Haters are going to hate. Just do you and let the haters do them!!!

  208. I am not a mom but I have you on Instagram and love every single post…. Do not Give into any negative post … there will always be that… negative self serving bleep… don’t waiste one min .
    Keep being amazing!!!

  209. I am not a mom but I have you on Instagram and love every single post…. Do not Give into any negative post … there will always be that… negative self serving bleep… don’t waiste one min .
    Keep being amazing!!!

  210. Hey Ali! I have an 18 month old and I still haven’t been away from her overnight! My first night away from her will be for my honeymoon 😩😩 I told my fiancΓ© I will 100% be crying the first night of our honeymoon hahaha! And also awesome for you for breastfeeding for so long!! I did it for 14 months and stopping was so hard and emotional. Good luck mama!!!

  211. Hey Ali! I didn’t read all the comments but saw your post on FB about negative ones. I think that’s awful! I completely understand feeling anxious about being away from your baby for the first time. It’s so hard!!! Do what you think is best and whatever will make it easiest on you! One suggestion, leave a shirt or blanket or something with your scent on it for her to cuddle πŸ™‚ I left my son for the first time overnight with my mom when he was about 11 months. He’s 4 now and I’m ok leaving him but I still miss him! My daughter is 4.5 months now but still can’t imagine leaving her because she is only nursing. One day!! Enjoy your time and remember how amazing it will be when you see her when you get back πŸ™‚

  212. Don’t listen to what any of the haters say. You’re an incredible mother – extremely loving, caring & dedicated! You’re such a role model for me as a new mom and I look upto you so much. I couldn’t even imagine what I wreck I would be if I left my little girl for the first time. What you’re feeling is normal, valid and not anything you should be ashamed of. Both you and Molly will do so great and will be reuinted before you even know. Keep being the amazing woman that you are! Molly (& Kevin) are so lucky to have you in their lives❀️❀️

  213. You are not being dramatic. It’s hard to leave a little one, and more importantly as a general rule- it’s rude to tell people how they should feel- particularly behind the safety of the internet (ahem, trolls)! Have a wonderful trip and know she’s in wonderful hands, but if you feel sad, know that many moms have felt that same thing and understand that it’s a tough “first” to get through. You got this!

  214. I had to leave my baby for the first time for 3 nights for a work trip last week. I completely understand what you are going through. I work from home + keep her home with me. I’ve only left her for a few hours at most prior to that. I think the worst part is the anticipation leading up to the trip. I was so stressed out! It sounds like you will be very busy so I promise it will go by quicker than you think. You’ve got this. My husband watched her most of the time (like you with kevin) but I had to have family help out due to flight troubles and she did just fine with them too. It really made me more confident in others watching her! Try to stay busy, have fun, and I promise it will fly by!

  215. Ali,
    I’m not a mom but I follow you and read your blog. I just think you have the best things to say and are so genuine and have such a sweet little family. I think you are brave to also ask for advice as we know how this can come in both negative and positive responses. You are being the best mom and doing the best job with Molly!!! You keep being the sweet,strong loving mom and wife that you are….your choices just like the rest of us on this big spinning globe are yours alone to make. Keep up the good work!!!!

  216. I Soon have to leave my baby for four nights for my husband’s work trip… and it is completely breaking my heart and making me a huge anxious mess !!! He will be in good hands with his grandparents …but girl, I know the feeling!! 😩😩😩

  217. I’m so glad I read this today. In 2 weeks im leaving my 9 month for the first time. I just finished breastfeeding as well so I’m a mess lol. Please let us know how it goes. Good luck!!!

  218. Sending all positive vibes your way! Being a good mom is the hardest thing to do. You’re doing a great job as a mom and Mollie is beyond thriving! As a mom, I live by the philosophy of doing what works best for both of you. Enjoy NYC- go get a margarita or a bottle of tequila. It’s well deserved!!

  219. Ali,
    I totally understand how you’re feeling. I didn’t leave my daughter overnight until she was 2 and a half. My baby boy is almost one now and I haven’t been away from him overnight either. I work full-time so the weekends are when I get to see my kids the most. That time is precious to me and I don’t want to leave them.

    And the breastfeeding, you do what is right for you and Molly and don’t worry what other people have to say about it. And it’s definitely okay (and normal) to be emotional about it. I know for me stopping breastfeeding was super emotional because, among other things, I felt like I was going to lose that bonding time with my baby. But the connection never goes away and you find other ways to be close and bond. Stopping breastfeeding is also somewhat liberating. You won’t feel like you have a body clock to always pay attention to and you can go super hard at the gym without worrying about losing your supply.

    Anyway, I hope you have a good trip and can manage being away from her. You got this mama!

  220. Hey Ali!

    I never comment but I just become a mom 2 months ago and my little one is exclusively breastfeed. Since you nursed Molly and have the cutest style, I was wondering if you can recommend come nursing friendly clothing? Sadly, I feel like I can’t wear any of my clothes anymore. Thanks!

  221. Hi Ali,

    I read your blog sometimes, I admit mostly about The Bachelor series, but I’ve always been a big fan of you since you were on the show. I’ve never commented before. Here’s why I am:

    I felt really upset for you after reading your post on Facebook today. This is what you wrote:

    “Feeling pretty bummed out today after reading some of the comments on my blog post today. If someone doesn’t understand why it’s hard for me to leave my daughter overnight for the very first time AND at the same time stop breast-feeding her, then they really should keep those thoughts to themselves.”

    I clicked the link to read your most recent blog post, and I was ready to jump to your defense in the comments section. However, I started reading the comments and all I saw was one supportive comment after another supportive comment. I honestly sat at my laptop for over an hour scrolling down your comments in an attempt to find the naysayers, but I only saw support. I swear, I did not see a single negative comment on your post. In fact, I noticed even more of an outpour of support after your Facebook post went live.

    So, I really want to believe you, Ali, but I am just confused here. Am I missing something? Is my eyesight that poor that I skipped over a ton of negativity? Or did you seriously just write that Facebook post for more attention and publicity? As I mentioned, I have always been a fan of you, Ali, but if you did that, it would be misleading and deceitful.

    Please explain how I’m wrong on this so I can continue being a fan of yours.

      1. No, she doesn’t delete anything. I found the comments she was referring to. They’re not on this post here. They’re on the next blog post after this one. It’s really not that many comments though, maybe three.

  222. I have two boys, 4 and 1. The first time I left my older one I was so very sad and nervous, but it actually made me more sad that everyone survived without me :). After that trip I started having my husband put my son to bed and then eventually took some more time for myself, and it started to feel really good. There is nobody like mom and both my sons need me when they fall, are sad or sick, but it gets easier to leave them when you know they still need you but will survive a night without you. The first time is so so sad and nerve wracking though. I don’t think it was until the 3rd time I left for a short trip that I actually got a good nights sleep bc I wasn’t up worrying about my guys all night. Hang in there!

  223. If you have time, treat yourself during your trip! Get a massage or your nails done, enjoy more than one glass of wine. You’re a great mom and you deserve to relax a bit on your own. You may be a million different things, but you’ll always be a mom first. Enjoy yourself and know that soon, you’ll get to enjoy that little girls BIG smile when she gets to see her mama!!

  224. Don’t sweat the small stuff! I have almost one year old twin girls and I have yet to leave them overnight, so I have no clue what you just be feeling right now, but enjoy your time away because we new mamas deserve it. Know that your sweet baby girl is in good hands and that you will see her ina couple of days. I only got to breastfeed for about four months and it was hard knowing that my milk supply was drying up when I went back to work. But at the end of the day, I had to remind myself that my girls are beautiful and healthy while being formula fed. Keep doing YOU and don’t let anyone bring you down for the decisions that you make ❀️

  225. I’m a traveling working mom and I completely hear you! The first time I left my now 19 month old son I was devastated! But just try and enjoy the glimmer of alone time that you probably haven’t had since you started growing that adorable human! You’re a great mother and you’ll be back with Molly before you know it’

  226. Ah man !! Feel for you but she is in good hands ! I have never left my 10 month old yet and have to in 9 months for a week to go to a wedding in Mexico ! My hubby and I were talking about it yesterday and I was tearing up at the thought of leaving her ! Honestly I don’t know how I’ll be when the time comes ! I’m going to be a mess on the plane and we will be with a bunch of friends. I have heard its best not to face time because they get upset after seeing you and you probably will feel sad too. I’m thinking of leaving her for a night sooner than later ; like a band aid ; the sooner I do this the easier it will get !

  227. I know exactly how you are feeling! My daughter turned one on June 25th. Close in age to Molly. I’ve had time away from her but recently went to Vegas for 4 days and the thought about being so far away for that long gave me panic attacks. But I’m guessing at this point you are a lot more relaxed and enjoying yourself. It’s good for you to get away and for molly and Kevin to have their bonding time. Hope you enjoy the rest of your trip and know that your feelings are completely normal πŸ™‚

  228. I feel so horrible that people have left negative comments. It’s so hard to leave your baby for the first time especially when you are finishing breast feeding. I’m sure it feels like a piece of you is missing. That’s how it always felt for me but it is so good to get away and have some time for yourself. All moms deserve that! Some time to recharge! So give yourself some grace and know how excited and refreshed you’ll feel when you see your sweet girl!

  229. Hey Ali, I wanted to just say that you whatsoever absolutely didn’t over react leaving Molly. She a piece of who you are now and it’s very very normal to feel the way you did. Remember in life everything new takes time to get use to. The next time around you will be completely fine. A mother’s love is not replaceable and Molly is missing you as much as you missing her. Good luck with business meeting. Go blow them away x

  230. Hi Ali!
    First off, I want to say Molly is adorable and you are one incredible mama!
    Have you thought about making a picture book for you & Molly for when you are away? You could read it to her over the phone/FaceTime and have the book be filled with pictures of you and her. Incorporate the things you love about her and what you are excited to do with her when you get home. I suggested this to a friend who was away from her son for an extended time and it seemed to work really well!
    Just an idea!

  231. I saw how emotional you were today and my heart hurt for you. I recognize what you are going through. From a mom with two grown young men out of the house and off to college. Cherish every second you spend with your family. You completed a milestone today, be proud of yourself! Hug and kiss that gorgeous little girl when you get home. And the dishes and laundry can always wait. It’s the moments we carry in our heart πŸ’œ I wish I had cherished more time of my little ones because I miss them terribly everyday. Chin up beautiful lady you are doing an amazing job juggling the responsibilities of living πŸ’•πŸ˜˜

  232. Hi Ali! I was just in your shoes this past April. My daughter is almost 2 now and was 20 months old when I left her for the first time and had to go to China for work for 7 dreadful nights. I cried when I played with her the day before I left. I cried when I put her to bed before leaving for my redeye flight. I cried when I said goodbye to my husband at the airport. I cried during takeoff. And I cried the first two times I saw her beautiful smile while skyping. I constantly bugged my husband to send me photos and videos. The extra hard part was the time difference. She was sleeping when I was awake. But we managed to get in a few Skype dates before I left my hotel room for the day as it was 4pm at home. I was also lucky enough to use my cell phone and watch her on the her baby camera throughout my day when she was sleeping. That was really comforting to see her in real time.
    I think your trip is almost over now. But to help myself look on the brightside in the days leading up to my trip, I thought about the “me time” I was going to have. I was looking forward to leisurely getting ready and doing my makeup in the morning and doing my nails while watching tv at bedtime. It didn’t make leaving her any easier but it did give me something to look forward to and take my mind off my misery haha.
    The breastfeeding issue sadly makes this a double whammy for you πŸ™ My daughter had self weaned a few months before my trip. All I can say is as her mama you have every right to feel any emotion you feel about being done with nursing her. And one of those emotions should be pride, for knowing you provided nourishment for her growing body this past year πŸ’ž

  233. Hi Ali,

    I love your blog and instagram – Molly is such a sweet little girl. I hope you do a blog post on how everything went for your trip away.

    I have a daughter who is a few days younger than Molly and I have never been away from her for more than a few hrs at a time. You are not being overdramatic, everybody parents differently and feels differently. Some people can handle it fine leaving their kids other people find it more difficult. Their is no right or wrong way!
    In just over a week I am returning to work and absolutely dreading it. Having to be away from her for 3 and a half hrs every morning (I know that’s not long) is going to be really tough. It’s only ever been myself or husband who looks after her and a handful of times my mother has watched her but she lives in a different city. My mother-in-law is going to be watching her whilst i’m at work but for some reason my daughter cries everytime i leave her alone with her. Even just going to the kitchen she cries and comes looking for me. I don’t know how she is going to get on when I go back to work, it’s causing a lot of stress and anxiety. She will also need to put her down for a nap which i don’t think will go well as again only ever my husband or I that has done that. My daughter goes through phases where she is fine for my husband to put her to bed and other nights she just cries for me. You could try just every night getting Kevin to try put her down, if it doesn’t work try again the next night, that might work.
    I know my MIL will look after her well but it doesn’t help that we don’t have a close relationship. She also has her own opinion on how things should be done so i worry she’ll get out of her routine.
    I hope your trip went well and like others have said do what makes you happy. Any advice/help on getting your child to settle with inlaws/someone else would be much appreciated x

  234. Hi Ali! I just watched your Instagram clip and honey your not being dramatic. Your a new mommy and it’s hard leaving Molly for the first time. You can feel however you want to. There will be many milestones ahead that will make you more than emotional. Each milestone is one more step for Molly to be little Miss Independent. That’s a great thing! Your doing a fantastic job and watching you interact with her melts my heart. I’ve been with you on your journey from day one. Look how far you’ve come! Way to go!! Hugs from Texas! ❀️

  235. My son is almost 3.5 and I’ve never left him overnight or for more than 6-7 hours. So I completely understand your nervousness. I’m now ready to get away (3’s are much worse than 2’s ugh) but I just haven’t done anything about it. He also has some life threatening allergies that make me very nervous. My advice to you is do what is best for your family. Nobody bows your family like you do. I would totally call my mom and have her fly from SoCal to D.C. To watch my son as crazy as it sounds. Lol.

  236. Ali,
    Sorry to hear you’ve been receiving negative comments. Now that you’re a Mom, it gives you a whole new perspective on the Mommy Wars doesn’t it?! I wish we could just support each other and stop judging. We’re all just doing what’s best for us and for our babes.
    On a side note, I had to stop breast feeding my daughter a couple of months ago and it was earlier than I’d planned. I was an emotional wreck! Whether it was your choice or circumstantial, it’s a tough transition. Glad you’re having fun on your trip! As hard as it is to leave your baby, having “me time” is so important. Enjoy!


  237. I follow you on Instagram and as soon as I heard you say you were leaving Molly for the first time, my heart dropped. Only because I just went through the exact same scenario with my little guy last week. (He is also just over a year old.) I had to go away for a work trip and was only gone for 1 night, but missed 2 bedtimes because of a late flight in. I was freaking out. The night before I left, I cried and cried and cried. I hated putting him to bed that night because I knew that was my “goodbye”. The next morning I cried all the way to the airport, but once I landed, I felt just fine and I have to say, I kind of enjoyed not having to change a diaper for 48 hours! Haha. Don’t let people make you feel bad for being so sad over leaving her. Every mom is different and everyone will feel differently. I thought my coworkers were going to think I was crazy for how nuts I was acting before I left but I didn’t care. Just like you, I have been there every single morning since the day he was born and not being there just about killed me. You’re such a good mom and Molly is so lucky to have you. I hope your trip went well!

  238. My children are 9,6 and 4. I have never left my kids over night (other then when I was in the hospital). They don’t do sleepovers at anyone house. I don’t go out of town without them. I also don’t have a job that requires me too.
    I wouldn’t worry about what negative comments are being said. I hear them all the time. I just let them go in one ear and out the other. My kids. My rules.

  239. Ali, I read your blogs all the time, and you are the best mom ever! I worked with my firstborn, but stayed home after my second born as he was born with special needs. I nursed both our children, and absolutely loved cradling my babies and providing them with natural nourishment! What a lovely bonding time! I know how difficult it is to stop nursing. I nursed our 2nd child past one year. I knew he’d be my last child. So when I asked him if he wanted to nurse, he came by and took a couple of swigs and I knew it was over! Which was bittersweet. Difficult on mom, but he was a mover and a shaker and was done with nursing. So it made me laugh too. Haha!

    Every family is different. Every child is different. You are an incredible mom and to have nursed an entire year is a blessing! I wasn’t able to nurse my firstborn as I was working full time. We made it for 6 months. But I don’t have any regrets. Our children have turned out to be independent and productive adults. In spite of their busy lives, they find time for each other and our family.

    I realized it was as important for me as my children to have some time away from them. My husband and I would go on dates and spend a couple of nights away here and there from our children. We were blessed to have my husband’s parents close by and they enjoyed watching their grandchildren. I’m so thankful that our children got to bond so closely with their grandparents. To me a grandparent’s role in their grandchildren’s lives is special in its own way.

    Ali, enjoy your time away. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a mom who works or has a night away with her husband. It’s good for Molly to see you and Kevin have a different relationship apart from her.

    You are loved!!! Hugs!!!

  240. Hi Ali! I have a 10 month old who I have not left for more than a few hours so I cannot give any solid advice, at least not from experience, but I really hope you were able to enjoy yourself. I could relate so much to when you said you had a small meltdown when Molly was 8 months. I have been feeling very tired lately and I’m trying to make more time for myself and be just a little selfish, because as full time mommies we deserve our time. Breastfeeding was very hard for me the first couple weeks, but once we got it, it was so great. My daughter is still breastfeeding 4 times a day, but still I look forward to weaning my daughter around 12 months as long as I see that she’s ready like Molly has shown. Your insta stories really hit me when you were breaking down about it because it reminded me how much it truly affects us moms too. You DO NOT have to explain yourself or give a reason why the other day was your last day nursing. You know what’s best for Molly and your family. I am so excited for you to see Molly this morning, I’m sure her face is going to be as lit up as yours and you’ll enjoy all the stories Kevin and your mother in law have to tell you about little miss Molly! Thank you for your blog!


  241. Hey Ali! I have been searching your blog for a post about wiening Molly off of breast feeding! I could have sworn that I read one, but now I am thinking it may have been a comment reply. I really want to share your post (of it exists) with a friend to show her how NOT alone she is in her anxieties about wiening her newly-1-year-old son from the boob. Specifically her fears of not providing him the source of comfort he yearns for when he’s upset. I’m not a mom and, therefore, I can’t share true advice, but I was hoping to share your post with her because you are always so honest and upfront with the hard parts of motherhood. She could probably use the reminder that she’s not crazy and this is how most moms feel about the situation! And maybe some tips on how to get through it? Why do I feel like I read this somewhere here?? Also, I wanted to let you know that as a 30 year old woman who wants kids but is terrified by the thought of it, I really love reading your motherhood posts because it makes it feel like less of an “unknown”. So thank you!! And if you can point me to your mystical wiening/breast feeding post (if it exists), I would love to link it for my friend! Thanks πŸ™‚ <3

  242. Ali you are a great Mommy! I know the feeling of your little one always wanting Mommy. We have the same scenario, Daddy plays with our little girl and I am there for comforting and such. I have not left my little one yet (almost 2) so I cannot imagine the anxiety you felt having to do this. The fact that your mother in law was able to come in is great! You guys do what makes your comfortable and what is best for Molly! I hope it all went well!!

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