Sleep Training – What Worked for Us

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Today’s blog is all about sleep training! If you’ve been following my blog for a little while now, you know I’ve been one tired mama the past 9 months! Honestly, it got to a point where I just started believing that Molly was a bad sleeper. I even thought that we had a high maintenance baby! Let me explain. Of course I love my daughter. I always have and I always will! But the past few months she was so fussy all day long, it was making me very frustrated! We couldn’t leave her for even 10 seconds without her crying. She even hated playtime sometimes. She would just fuss and wine. Then we would try to put her down for a nap with so much protest from Molly and maybe we’d get 30 minutes out of her twice a day. So we came to the following two conclusions – she was a terrible sleeper and she was a high maintenance baby. I feel so bad even admitting that I thought that about my child! But don’t get me wrong, Molly was all smiles (and the cutest ever!) when she got 110% of our attention, but that just wasn’t possible 24 hours a day! Nor did it foster a good environment for her to learn and develop.

Looking back now, I honestly feel like I was a terrible mother. It’s funny because when I’ve posted about sleep training in the past some people have commented that sleep training is “mean” to do to a baby. I couldn’t disagree more! Not only has sleep training changed our lives because we are more rested and therefore better parents, but it has completely changed Molly! She is so much happier than she used to be! She loves to play now and she’s rarely fussy. It’s like she’s a completely different baby. If anything, I feel like I was doing her a huge disservice in the past before sleeping training. I thought that by going in to nurse her all night long, every 2 to 3 hours, I was being a “great mom”- tending to her every need and sacrificing my sleep to care for her. But, what I was really doing was giving her what she needed in the moment, instead of teaching her how to take care of herself. Obviously she’s a baby and I need to take care of her the majority of the time. But that said, I think the most important thing we can do for our children is teach them how to take care of themselves. Starting when they’re babies! OK, I realize I’m kind of talking in circles so let me start from the beginning…

1. WHITE TOP | 2. NECKLACE | 3.  STRIPE SHORTS | 4. PURSE | 5. BRACELET | 6. MOLLY’S BOW

*** Molly’s pants are by Vermont Craft mom shop on etsy, but they are taking a short break right now.

Molly is an exclusively breastfed baby. Of course she eats solids at 9 months, but what I mean by that is that she only gets breast milk and does not get formula. Because of this, I was under the impression that she just wasn’t able to sleep through the night for a long time. That’s because formula is much more filling than breast milk and takes longer for the baby to digest. So ever since Molly was born, I’ve been going in to nurse her every 1.5 to 3 hours all night long. There was one week when she was around six months old that we tried sleep training and we actually thought it worked because she slept eight hours for a couple nights in a row! So we thought we had sleep trained her on our own and THOUGHT (thought being the key word here) we didn’t need to get a sleep coach. Boy were we wrong! The next week I believe Molly started getting teeth and so we stopped training and I went in to nurse her every few hours. I would learn later from our amazing sleep coach Janey (I’ll get to her in a minute) that I was taking huge steps backwards by reversing all the hard work I did to get her to sleep 8 hours.

Breaking Point

Anyway after 8.5 months of no sleep this mama had a mental breakdown! I’m not even exaggerating. One day in particular was especially rough. She was extremely fussy, barely napped, and was crying for no reason that I could identify. I tried everything to calm her down and nothing would work. I was so stressed out and overtired by this point that I started crying. And not a little soft whimper. A full blown sobbing and even screaming. So here I am completely disheveled in the middle of my kitchen holding my daughter while she’s screaming and crying and I’m screaming and crying. I called Kevin because he was at work at that time and just balled to him on the phone saying “I can’t do this anymore!”  This wasn’t just because of the lack of sleep, we also hadn’t had anyone babysit Molly, except for the night of our wedding, since she was born. So not only was I not sleeping, but I had no breaks. We also don’t have family local besides Kevin’s brother and his fiancé Jill. Of course they had offered to watch Molly but I think I just wasn’t ready to let go yet. And neither of our moms are nearby so it’s not like we could just drop Molly off while we went out for a date night. So finally at 8.5 months we got a part-time nanny to come help us out at least one day a week. I learned two things from that experience. One, it’s OK to ask for help. We as parents can’t do it all ourselves. So whether that person is a nanny or a family member or a friend, you need to speak up and ask for help when you need it. The second thing I learned was that we needed to sleep train Molly. Not having any good sleep for almost 9 months was really wearing me down. That’s when we decided to hire a sleep coach.

Sleep Training

That’s where Janey from WeeSleep comes in. We decided to wait until Molly was nine months to sleep train. Not because we thought she needed to be older, you can actually sleep train way earlier (and we tried to do it ourselves at 6 months). But we were so busy from 8.5 to 9.5 months that we couldn’t dedicate the time to stay home to do the training properly. So once we could find a 10 day span where we could mostly be home to work on Molly’s sleep training (or she could be home with a nanny) we decided to start!

Honestly, I was a bit skeptical at first. Only because I had read every article I could possibly find online about sleep training. I thought I knew everything there was to know! But then (former Bachelorette) Jillian Harris told me a little bit about her experience with Weesleep and I was totally intrigued! Jillian had worked with Janey at Weesleep and she got Leo sleeping 12 hours a night! I believe around five months old!

Janey offered us a 15 minute consultation (her team does free 15-minute consultations btw) so we jumped on the phone to discuss a possible plan for Molly. During that phone conversation I knew Weesleep was the right fit for us! We decided to move forward with her for sleep training right away. She sent over a customized plan for Molly after explaining what was going on with Molly’s schedule. She identified the problems in our sleep routine and sent us over a schedule. The changes she made were so small but they made such a difference! I’m going to share some of what Janey shared with us to help all you other sleepy mamas and dadas out there! However, I will say this. I emailed Janey MULTIPLE times a day asking for guidance on different scenarios. I think that’s why we weren’t able to properly do sleep training on our own. There were so many little one-off things that would happen in her schedule that we needed an answer to and Janey always had that answer! And her suggestions always worked perfectly! Not even kidding. So even though I’m going to lay out some of the things we did for Molly that worked for us, I really can’t recommend a sleep coach more! It is the best money you’ve ever spent! Because really, can you put a price on your sleep and emotional health? Every person I’ve ever talked to that used a sleep coach says it was worth every penny! I couldn’t agree more!

Having said that, I realize not everyone can put aside the money for a sleep coach. So I hope some of what I share below helps my fellow sleep deprived parents out!

Nap/Bedtime Routine

I had read so many things out there about different nap and bedtime routines so I thought our bedtime routine with Molly was solid. It wasn’t! What we used to do with her is this:

  • Feed her dinner/solids
  • Give her a bath
  • Turn the white noise on in her room to signal that it was time to go to bed
  • Turn lights off with just a touch light on so I could see
  • Turn on our humidifier
  • Put a diaper on her
  • Put her in PJs
  • Nurse her (I had always read that you could nurse your baby until they’re drowsy, but not until they’re asleep. So I thought I was doing the right thing by nursing Molly in the dark to get her nice and drowsy and then putting her down in her crib drowsy but awake)

This routine was completely wrong btw! I think the changes Janey made to our routine are the biggest things that helped us! So I’ll get right to it. This is what our routine is now:

  • We feed Molly dinner almost 2 hours before bath time (an hour after her 2nd to last nursing session of the day)
  • Give her a bath
    • She officially graduated from her sink bath to the big girl bath. Well not really. An inflatable ducky bath INSIDE of the big girl bath 😉
  • Bring her into her nursery with the lights ON
  • Diaper
  • Comfy PJs – I LOVE these comfy PJ’s with magnets for easy fastening!
  • Put her into a sleep suit
    • Janey told me that adults like blankets when we sleep and so do babies! We use THIS ONE. It’s great for warmer summer months. We used this one in the winter.
  • Nurse her with the lights on
    • I don’t let her get drowsy while nursing at all! Because we don’t want her to associate nursing with sleeping in any way. So many things that I read in the past told me I could nurse her to get her drowsy but still awake. This is not the case! She needs  to be fully awake while nursing!
  • After nursing her, we then read her a story or two with the lights on
  • Kiss her good night
  • Put her in her crib with a lovey
    • This was Janey’s rec and it helped so much because it helps Molly self soothe at night. We use this one.
  • THEN turn on the white noise
  • Lights off and I leave the room.
    • What Janey told me is that by only turning on the white noise and turning the lights off when I leave the room it lets Molly know that when the lights are off and the white noise is on, it’s time to sleep! Whereas before I was turning the lights down low and putting the white noise on when I was in the room with her nursing. So when she would wake up in the middle the night and hear the white noise with the lights off she would think she could nurse. This was such a small change in her routine and it made all the difference!

That first night Molly woke up probably 4 times. And don’t worry WeeSleep’s method isn’t that you leave her in there to scream her head off until she goes back to sleep. Janey allows check-ins throughout the night at different times if the baby doesn’t stop crying. But that all depends on your baby – we were lucky and Molly never needed a check-in because she didn’t cry longer than 10 mins without stopping for at least 10 seconds. That said, sometimes she would cry for over an hour during the night but she would stop and try to self sooth in between so we didn’t go in the comfort her. Sher was comforting herself! And the check-ins are very brief if you do need them (15 seconds) and you never pick the baby up!

Oh and I should mention that daddy stepped up big time and took over the first two nights because he knew it would be really hard on me to listen to her cry (not that it’s not hard on him too). So I slept in the other room the first two nights. We also started on a Friday night so we could be zombies and not have to work the first two days. Because you will be up A LOT throughout the night the first two nights. But it’s worth it!

1. WHITE TOP | 2. NECKLACE | 3.  STRIPE SHORTS | 4. PURSE | 5. BRACELET | 6. MOLLY’S BOW

Immediate Improvement

That first night I didn’t go in once to nurse her! It was such a weird feeling. I was so worried that she was hungry but Janey assured me she wasn’t. And she was right. How do I know this? Molly was totally content for 10 mins after she got up and wasn’t DYING to nurse. Oh and I have to say that we saw an improvement after the first night! The day after the first night of sleep training, Molly took two 2 hour naps! You have no idea how crazy that was to us. She had always been a two 30 minute naps per day baby. That very first day Molly had already completely changed! Kevin and I kept looking at each other and saying “this is magic! How is this possible!?”

The second night I believe she woke up 3 times. But the next day was the same great 2 hour long naps. And a very happy Molly! The third night I believe she woke twice. Same with the fourth night. And by the fifth night she was sleeping through the night!

Another huge myth that Janey walked us through was that keeping your baby up later doesn’t mean your baby will sleep longer! We would sometimes try to push Molly’s bedtime to 7 PM thinking she would sleep later. But that’s not the case at all! We never put Molly to bed earlier than 6 PM but we never try to push her to stay up till 7 if she’s exhausted by 6:15 PM. We always put her to bed 3 hours after she woke up from her 2nd nap. Which brings me to another rule of thumb, your 9 month old should never be up for more than 3 hours at a time (I think it’s 2 hours at a time if your baby is a newborn). And your nap routine should be very similar to your bedtime routine – minus the bath.

Just an FYI everything I’m saying is what works for a baby around Molly’s age – 9 months. All of this guidance is different except for maybe the bedtime and nap routine, depending on the age of your baby. Also, I’m not a doctor. So always consult your doctor before starting any sort of sleep training program.

Anyway, this is by no means a detailed plan of exactly what you need to do because ever baby is different, but I hope I offered some tips to the moms out there reading this that will get them some much-needed sleep! And of course, I can’t recommend Weesleep enough! And she told me that she’s actually expanding to the US (she and her team of 23 consultants are based in Canada but did all this on the phone with me – though they offers in-home sleep training too) and she’s recruiting consultants for Weesleep this fall! So definitely reach out to her if you’re a stay at home mommy looking to start a new career! Or maybe you have a job and just want a new career path! You’d be changing peoples lives and I think that’s a pretty cool job to have!

And no, Janey didn’t ask me to write this blog. I’m writing it because I want to share my experience with other moms out there and I truly just had the most incredible experience with her and wanted to share her with the world!

Sleep Well!

I hope this sleep training blog post serves as a place for moms (and dads!) to read my experience and hopefully get some tips. Also, please share your experiences in the comments below! I want us all to come together to help each other! I hope all you mommies and daddies out there get some good sleep tonight! I know Molly and I will 😉

Before you guys go, check out MY MOTHER’S DAY GIFT GUIDE with some of my favorite gift ideas for Mother’s Day. Kevin read it and totally got me some of the stuff for an EARLY Mother’s Day surprise! What a sweetheart!

Also, ready the UPDATE to my sleeping training blog to find out how Molly is sleeping 2 weeks after we finished the training.

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Thoughts

356 thoughts on “Sleep Training – What Worked for Us

  1. I’m a sleep consultant as well, and this is so on point! When my husband and I sleep trained our twins around 4 months, EVERYTHING got better for us. I felt so strongly about sleep training that I decided to make a career of it, and I just love sharing this information with moms. Some of it is so NOT intuitive (who knew a later bed time could lead to night wakings and early rising?!)…but once someone explains the science behind it…it’s just amazing (and totally works). Thanks for sharing your experience! I hope your fans and followers realize exactly what you said…sleep training is the opposite of mean. Parents who sleep train are making a well-education, totally selfless decision to do what’s best for their baby! And it’s hard work (contrary to the belief that it’s just letting your baby cry) – totally a lifestyle change that requires a lot of consistency…but the payoff is priceless :). Nice job!

    1. That’s so great that your experience inspired you to help others!!! Sleeping training to truly what’s best for the baby and parents. I truly believe that

      1. Thank you so much for posting this! When did you have molly start sleeping in her own room? Our little girl is 7 months old. She sleeps in her room for naps and in a pac n play in our room at night. She is up anywhere between 2-4 times a night. She has never slept through the night. For the past 3 weeks she has started flipping over and sleeping on her stomach but can’t roll back over onto her back and I think she gets frustrated and cries for me to flip her. Sometimes I can just flip her, put the paci and and she’ll go back down. Others she cries until I nurse her

        1. Hi Lauren, I had the same problem with my daughter and ended up putting a rolled up towel either side of her under her fitted sheet. This meant that she couldn’t roll onto her stomach and get stuck. Hope this helps ?

      2. What is considered sleeping through the night? My 8 month old goes down at 8 and sleeps till 6 am, nurses and goes back down till 8 or later. Should I wean him from that feeding??

      3. Thank you for posting this. I have a 9 month old baby girl too. It was the perfect timing and I was making the same nighttime routine mistakes you were. Your routine changed everything! Thanks again!!

    2. My twins still wake up in the middle of the night. Do you think it’s possible to sleep train 2 1/2 year old twins ? ??

          1. Janey–who would you recommend working with at Wee for a 2.5 year old co-sleeper? Was wondering if there was a certain rep in mind for toddlers. Thanks

    3. Ali thank you so much for sharing this information with a fellow tired momma!! Colleen my ped recommended waiting till 6 months at least to sleep train but I see you did it with your twins at 4 months. How many naps a day or should I start with night time sleep training and then naps will fall into place? Thank you thank you!

    4. Collen what is your company? I am in need of sleep training for my 5 month old and I think the Weesleep website is backed up because of the interest

    5. This is awesome! I have 9 month old twins and I feel like I need to take the plunge. I pump for them and the both wake 1-2 times a night and I’m ready for some SLEEP!!! Colleen…can you contact me?

        1. Is sleep training an almost 10 month old who has been co sleeping and never slept in the crib a totally different process or similar steps to Ali’s?

    6. Hi Colleen,
      I am a new mom to g/g twins. They will be 5 months on Friday. Would you be interested in giving me some pointers? I am really having trouble with naps during the day. The girls nap at totally different times so I am “on” all day long, any input you have would be appreciated!

    7. My youngest son still wakes up… he’s in the middle of teething and when I go in there mainly so he’s not screaming to wake the oldest up since he’s in school and needs his sleep.. the youngest has peed out of his diaper and I have to change him… I feel to guilty to not keep checking if he’s got pee all over him… any suggestions?

    8. how soon is too soon to sleep train? my son is just 2 months old so I’m in no rush, but when we are ready I’d love to reach out for help

      1. We sleep trained when our daughter was three months. They usually say it’s safe after they double their birth weight

    9. Hey Ali! Was Milly ever standing up in her crib crying? As soon as I lay my little one down she stands up and screams at the top of her lungs until I come in. Help?!

    10. What’s the routine like for a 4 month old? The same? I do just about the same with my 4 month old and he’s sleeps 10-12 hours a night but the naps are still difficult for him. He also has been using a pacifier to fall a sleep in the past so I just started taking it away. Any suggestions?

    11. My son is 22 months and doesn’t do his nights! I’m exhausted! Could you help? Like you where saying , hearing him cry, I can’t! But I’m at a point I cannot go any longer!

  2. Hey Ali! During the sleep training you guys would just stay in bed when she would wake up? Obviously her crying woke you up, too – we are dealing with the same thing (not quite as bad, 2 times per night for the past 2 months from a previous sleep-thru-the-nighter) – I’ve tried to stay in bed but I always give in and go in to nurse her and put her back down. Any tips for how to talk myself down? Haha.

    1. We stayed in bed and watched monitor. Wake you husband/partner up if you need the support! And you just have to KNOW that going into nurse her isn’t what she needs! I think I also convinced myself to go into her room in the past because 1) I told myself it’s what she needed and 2) I didn’t have anyone there to tell me it was OK NOT to go nurse her. So I am hear telling you it’s OK and GOOD for her when you don’t go in to nurse her.

      1. I’m exclusively breastfeeding and have thoroughly enjoyed it. I’m back to work now and pumping but nurse when I’m home. I feel it’s the one thing that my baby and I can do and it’s such a bonding experience. Not that I don’t want help, because I do and need it at times from my husband but BF allows that one on one time without anyone else. My worry is…if she is slee all night, will that mess up my milk production?

        1. What we did for my then 9 month old who was still waking was have dad give her a bottle (until then I would pull her in to bed with me to nurse) and every few days we had planned to decrease the amount she was getting. We figured out that she wasn’t waking from hunger, she was waking from habit, it literally took 2 days before she was sleeping through the night

        2. Hi Ashton – I had the same worry. My baby is 5 months and she’s been sleeping in longer stretches since she was 2 months. My doctor recommended that I pump in the middle of the night so I’ve been pumping at 2am for 3 months now…I’m starting to wean that off since I’m back at work and I can’t do it anymore. I’m still worried about the milk supply but I was told that my body will adjust. I plan to continue to nurse in the morning and at night (pumping twice at work during the day).

      2. Im a mother of a 3.5 yr old & 18 month old. I still breastfeed both & cosleep. We do have off days but I follow my instincts. How did you get over NOT following your instincts?? Like you said Molly wants to feed when she’s sick…she gets antibodies from your milk. Its mother nature’s way of getting better and baby knows this. I just can’t seem to get passed being the mom that comforts her baby whenever they need me to and we’re nursing all night again! Any advice on turning off mom mode? We haven’t been on a date since the 1st one was born! Thanks

    2. You could put your husband in charge! Dads just don’t have the same anxiety moms do when it comes to crying. Like Ali mentioned, there are methods that include brief checks if your baby is crying…personally, we kept the monitor on the lowest setting and I put it on my husband’s side of the bed. I’ve known families to have a parent sleep in a different room and have the other one take over, if it’s really hard to resist nursing. But just remind yourself, your baby likely isn’t crying because she’s hungry – she’s fed, dry, loved, etc…she just doesn’t know how to return to sleep without nursing! It’s like waking up and having your blankets and pillows gone (“I need this to fall back to sleep!”). It’s a learned skill :).

      1. Good advice! Kevin actually took over the sleep training the first two nights because it was too hard on me. So I slept in the other room! I am going to update my blog to include this info cause I think it’s important!

        1. Great! Thanks ladies! Why do you think after (mostly) sleeping thru the night from months 2 to 7 she suddenly stopped being able to do it (she’s 9 months now which is why I love reading your blogs Ali!)?

          1. It could be a million different things! Naps aren’t at the “correct” times of day that are restorative for her, bed time could be a tad too late (if a baby becomes overtired before bed time, they’ll 100% wake at night), or a developmental milestone (Wonder Weeks is great to check for that). Feel free to find me on Facebook (Colleen Kordana) if you want more specific advice. I don’t want to hijack Ali’s comment section, or step on her sleep coach’s toes!

    3. I’m having the same issue ! She seems to fall asleep on her own but wakes up twice throughout the night and I’m not sure if I should just let my 6 month old cry and try to self soothe or go in there to feed her or rock her.

    4. Amanda,
      This same thing is happing with us right now!! My daughter has slept through the night for so long, I can’t even remember the first few weeks when she didn’t. The past 2 months she has been waking up at least 2 times through the night crying and thrashing. My husband won’t listen to me that she doesn’t need to eat. ? His easy fix is just to feed her both times and she goes back to slee so he doesn’t mind it. Unfortunately, I work out of town and am gone 2 nights out of the week so he sticks to his plan when I’m not there and gets mad that I don’t want to feed her when I am!! Uggghh.

  3. Thank you so much for this Ali!! I think it’s so important for moms to know that sleep training is not harmful. The internet and other moms made me feel like I was damaging my child. Not taking into consideration that he was a cranky sleep deprived mess. It was such a dark time for me before I sleep trained and then I felt like I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it. My hubby and I didn’t have much help either and I am a SAHM so I was consumed by it. But thank you for talking about it and letting moms know it’s ok to help your child sleep and it’s ok for us as moms to say we are important too and need our rest.

    1. It’s seriously mind blowing how different Molly is now. She’s almost ALWAYS happy now! I really feel that it was the best thing we ever did for her.

  4. Thank you so much Ali for posting this blog! I am the mama of an almost 9 month old and am so appreciative of these tips. I can’t wait to try them with my little one. Thanks again and I love reading all of your blogs xx

  5. Hey Ali!
    This is so helpful- thanks for sharing 🙂 My little Benjamin is just a few weeks older than Molly. We had sleep trained him around 6-7 months which worked wonders, but he’s lately been so sick lately (with pneumonia + other colds) on and off for the last 2 months (daycare!), so he’s regressed a bit. We’re going to get him back on track after he’s out of the woods and feeling 100%. Just a quick question about naps- did you have to use any particular method for putting her down for those? We too have a very minimalist-napper 😉
    Thank you! <3

  6. Such great info! Our baby is 2 weeks younger than Molly and we will start sleep training once we are back from vacation. Thank you for sharing!!!

  7. This is amazing! My son is so similar. Did she give you any sort of nap time routine? Our bedtime is identical to what yours was and I know we need to change it! Naps are even harder bc I don’t know how to get my son to he calm!

  8. Love this. Thank you so much. What exactly do you do in the check ins? I’ll go in rub her back and she will just start screaming louder. Than I feel bad, but I feel bad just letting her cry too and not going in.

    1. If you feel like going in is making it worse then don’t. At least that’s what I’ve read. But then again everything I read before our sleep coach was kind of wrong ha! Sometimes we just have to let them cry. It’s so hard but if you stick to it, it pays off within DAYS!

        1. Carol, I have read a lot about the checks making it worse for their baby so they just didn’t go in! It is so hard but they saw results very quickly!

  9. Thank you for posting about this. My guy is 4 months and luckily he has been a pretty good sleeper from day one. He has only been waking up once every night since 2 months and sleeps well during the day but I feel the need for more structure and now that he is getting older I want to sleep train him and get him on a napping schedule and transition him to his crib. With our first baby it took us over a year to sleep through the night. I dont want to do that again. I’m going to take your advice and give it a try.

  10. Did any mommas over here now how all of this would work for your second child if they both sleep in the same bedroom?? Whatever I do with my baby I always freak out when I think my 5 year old will wake up from the crying!! He has school tomorrow and it’s not fair to him to have to have a bad night because I can’t keep his brother quiet! They are both spirited children and ANY sudden noise will wake them up. I feel if anyone in this 2 bedroom house has to have a bad night it has to be me! But not any of them! … any mommas out there have this issue??

    1. My rec would be to have your 5 year old sleep in the living room or even in your bedroom for the 10 days you do sleep training. Or even just the first 5 days. Because the crying in the night is SOOO temporary. Once you get done with sleep training they will both sleep soundly in the same room 🙂

  11. I couldn’t agree more. We sleep trained our daughter in a very similar way at 4 months and her sleep improved drastically. She went from sleeping 4-6 hour stretches to 10-12 hours after 2 days. She 2 years old now and still sleeps at least 11 hours a night. Everything you said about teaching them to do things on their own, including sleep, is exactly right!

    1. we worked out our own sleep training with the help of different websites and I can relate to all those stories above in so many ways. Started training our Sara when she was 12 weeks old. Still remember her face looking at me: “I’m in charge in this house”. That look changed me in so many ways. Still so happy we trained her. She is almost 2 and still a good sleeper (+11 hours) and very happy. When she’s fussy I know we need to stick to the routines again. Even on holidays she sleeps so good. I can be so proud of her when she does that. You can be proud of yourself for sticking to it??

  12. Our little started off as a great little sleeper. Once she hit 18 months she stopped and to make it easier on us we started to bed share. It allowed us to sleep better so whatever works right? My husband and I agree that it’s time for her to go into her own room and I’m a little heart broken over it. I love having her so close especially with being gone all day at work. Next week I’ll be in San Fran for work so my husband is going to try to transition her then because I don’t have the heart too. It helps to read that the first couple of nights will most likely be hard but it’s worth it in the end! So thank you for that!

  13. Ugh. I know I need to do this for my 9 month old but it’s so difficult. All of a sudden she started waking up 1-2 times a night and will. It settle down without a bottle. I started giving her water in the middle of the night hoping she would be hungrier during the day, eat more and get all her calories during the day. Do you give her a pacifier at all now or no? That’s going to be the hard part. Thanks for the info.

    1. She wont take a pacifier. Never really has. But we give her a small lovey to have in bed with her (a small little blanket with a head on it) She uses that a lot to self soothe when going to sleep.

      1. Great. Thank you so much. I’ve been meaning to put her baby in with her but keep forgetting. Thanks for the info! She goes to sleep super easy she just won’t stay asleep all night. I thought it was just because she’s getting so many teeth all at once. I’ll keep trying!

      2. This was one of my concerns/questions. We have a no paci girl so I wasn’t sure what you meant by lovey in the post, perfect! Thank you!

  14. This is all wonderful information! My little one is just now nine months. She’s a consistent 2 wakes per night. Did Molly ever tak a paci? Seems to be that my little one just needs that most nights to go back to sleep. Also, we’ve tried the sleep training slightly, but it seems that each time she is put down she poops within the first ten minutes. I was reaching out seeing if anyone else experiences this, because it forces me to pick her up and change her, laying her back down, which seems to throw the whole thing off again. Any one with advice?

      1. Mine does this, I’m convinced because she’s mad I’m making her soothe herself (now I know that’s not true) but it feels that way!

  15. Wow. I don’t have kids (yet), but this has been one of my biggest fears! It’s not like you’re working on a little sleep, often times it’s no sleep at all! I truly appreciate you sharing an inside look and giving tips and suggestions that helped you. That makes so much sense about waiting to turn the light off, something I naver would have realized! Awesome. Again, thanks for your honesty!

    1. The Wee company has an option for parents to be or new parents so you can get started on healthy habits right away! I’m in the same place as you so this info is so helpful to have BEFORE!!

  16. That is so amazing that sleep training worked for you! It was the best decision we ever made with our almost 11 month old. It was really hard the first few days but it got so much easier. She is so much happier when she’s well rested and when baby is happy, mama is happy (and also no longer exhausted!)

    The only thing that has seemed to knock our LO off the rails is teething. I really struggle with letting her cry in the night when I know she’s cutting a tooth. Did they offer any advice to you on that?

  17. Hi Ali! Thank you so much for sharing! I wanted to ask you, is the 15 minute free consultation beneficial? This is not something we’d be able to afford, but your tips helped a lot and I wanted to know if the consultation is helpful. Thank you and I’m so glad you have a happier baby and are getting sleep!

    1. You should
      Def try the free consult! While I did my
      Coaching with a different company I can say that the consult gave me a good tip that I was too scared to try at the time because I thought no way would my daughter respond. Turns out when I started with the full coaching it was the one tip that really would’ve made the difference had I started earlier. I was just too chicken to try it! I know people who have solved their entire issue with just consults that were free! You should give it a try and don’t be scared to make
      The change they suggest is my two
      Cents!

  18. So much great information. Thank you Ali. I was doing almost the same bedtime routine as you. I will make those changes you described and hopefully it works. My son is 8 months and wakes 2-3 times a night. I nurse and he goes back to sleep but I feel like a zombie, especially when I have work the next day. What did you or your hubby do at the check ins? I feel like this will be the tough part. I will have my hubby do the check ins but it will definitely be hard for me to not go in.

  19. This was so helpful! I have an eight month old that we are having issues of him waking up multiple times in the night and his pediatrician said he doesn’t need to eat in the night anymore. May I ask what times Molly takes her naps at usually?

  20. So after you do your routine and turn the lights out and leave does she just…go to sleep? Was there crying and if so how did you handle it? My second sounds very similar to molly. I haven’t slept in 7 months and had many a break down. She doesn’t take s bottle or paci so I feel like I’ve been ON since she’s been born and I’m about to snap!!

  21. Thanks so much for these tips and your experience with a sleep trainer, Ali! I love your blog and following along with your mom adventures. My 7.5 month old was a perfect sleeper until a couple of months ago when she started to occasionally wake multiple times through the night, which I chalked up to “so many developmental changes going on! She must need a little more nourishment!” Fast forward to when I suddenly realized the occasional had flipped- she was only occasionally sleeping through the night, and as a full time working mom, I’ve been seriously dying. You’ve convinced me I need to seek some help. Thank you so much!

  22. Ali! I am so so happy to see you posting this! Just like you I am a new mommy to my 3.5 month old daughter. I’ve worked so hard from day 1 to get her to be a good sleeper and thought I knew everything just like you felt! A few weeks ago she started waking a ton at night and naps just went down the drain. I was exhausted and emotional. It was then I too reached out to a sleep coach. We are on day four and the reassurance I get from talking (daily!) to our coach has given me such peace as a new momma! I don’t have to problem solve anymore because not only is she teaching my daughter how to sleep she’s teaching me how to respond to things such as short naps and early wakings! I cannot recommend a sleep coach enough! Though the nights when I’ve had to listen to my sweet girl cry for 10 minutes is tough on a momma-she ALWAYS greets me with a huge smile. I’ve heard someone say that sleep training is the first time a parent has to do something good for the child that the child does. It want-so true! Thanks for sharing your experience! I’ve been looking forward to hearing how Molly is doing since you first posted!

    1. Lilly, who do you use as a sleep consult? I have a little one the same age and in the same situation! I would love to reach out to someone!!

      Thank you for your help in advance!

    2. My baby is the same age as yours. What are the time intervals for check ins? I keep reading so many different things. Did you ever go in to help calm?

  23. How have you found your milk supply w/ cutting out all night feeds? Are you pumping at all during her evening sleep or allowing body to adjust to 12hr feed schedule?

    1. I did sleep training w my son at 9 months. We actually wanted to get pregnant again and nursing every 2-3 hrs prevented us from being able to, also I wanted sleep :-). The month after my son started sleeping through the night I was able to conceive. As far as my milk- It was hard at first bc I’d wake up engorged but after a week my milk supply decreased at nt and everything was fine. I still produced enough for all the day time feeding. The body is an amazing thing!!!

  24. Hi Ali! We have two little ones and I believe in sleep training as well and so glad you guys reached out for help!! I wanted to thank you for such a true, raw description of your frustration. I have felt that way, when I really was losing my mind. I’m not happy you went through it, but I’m happy when moms are honest!!! I was just sitting here reading it and saying YAAASSSSSS!

  25. Hi Ali, I’m a big fan of yours and Miss Mollys. She’s too cute. I got in touch with Weesleep due to your blog/suggestions and I’m getting ramped up to start. They are fantastic. But I’m so nervous to get started.

    What lovey do you use?
    And did Molly ever get into a position in her crib (i.e. Against the rail or in the corner) that you needed to go in and move her? August is a squirmer and finds himself in really uncomfortable positions and it causes him to wake up.
    Did Kevin do the nighttime routine on the nights he trained on his own?

    Thank you for sharing your walk through this. It’s been so helpful and insightful.

  26. Ali, I could have written this blog exactly word for word! Same thing with our son, he was exclusively breast fed, I was nursing very 2-3 hrs every night, and by 8 months I had the same mental break down and same hysterical phone call to my husband! I’m laughing now at it because it’s just so funny how all moms go through this. We hired a sleep coach and was the best money spent. My son is now 2.5 and still takes a 2 hr nap every day, and sleeps 7-7. I hear stories about how other parents kids are just “bad sleepers” and I feel so thankful and lucky we did this. You’re right, you’re doing your child a disservice if you don’t help them and my child is seriously the best sleeper, I’m so grateful!

    Also I felt that same way about leaving him with someone at that age too and eventually we hired a sitter who was a nurse right around the same age. It helps SO much with not only your mental health, but when my son started preschool a few months ago, he did so good because he had trusted that someone else could take care of him.

    So happy for you guys!!

  27. Hi Ali,

    I’m currently doing the sleep training through weesleep as well. Our consultant is fantastic. My daughter is 3 months (4 months May 3rd). Do you think that’s too young to start? Or the earlier the better? I’ve also had a hard time with giving in to nursing multiple times at night. How long did you let Molly cry for until you went in? Did you ever have to pick her up to calm her down?

    1. Hi Lindsey,

      Most sleep Consultants recommend waiting until 4 months to begin sleep coaching. As far as I know WeeSleep recommends cutting feeds at 3 months and that is dangerous advice. Lots of little ones keep at least 1-2 feeds until 8-9 months and that is A-Ok!
      As well, as I understand it, WeeSleep Consultants have only completed a day training course versus other Consultants trained through FSI or impi, which are well recognized sleep consultating education programs.

      I recommend you have a chat with your WeeSleep consultant to ensure the advice you at work being given is sound. As well, ask to know more about his/her credentials and how long he/she has been working as a sleep consultant.

      Good luck

      1. That’s sound advice, not just for WeeSleep but any sleep Consultant you plan to hire.

        As I understand it, sleep sense Consultants have only completed a 3 day training program as well.
        I hired a sleep consultant trained through FSI after having free 15 minute consults from multiple other coaches (WeeSleep included) and was not comfortable with their lack of training.

        Glad it worked for you Ali! Lucky to have the head of WeeSleep be your cosch!

        1. Hi Nicole,

          I worked with someone from WeeSleep and the Consultant was wonderful, knew her stuff, and we kept a feed in for my 6 month old.

          Maybe you had a bad call of the lemon Consultant?

          1. That’s wonderful Rebecca.
            I have no doubt that WeeSleep knows their stuff, as little Molly seems to be sleeping now. The fit just wasn’t right for my family though, and I wanted someone who had more training and experience.

            So happy it worked for Ali & yourself. As long as our little ones are sleeping, that’s all that matters.

      2. WeeSleep consultants not only have a full 3 day training, they have full ongoing mentoring and coaching ongoing. Trainings, courses and one one- one sessions – their coaching and training is endless where as others are say 1 hour a week for 3 months and all they correspondence. It’s a personal choice for all but WeeSleep is in fact Highly trained and the Founder is the Director of Canada for the Association Of Professional Sleep consultants. At the end of the day, the program, methods and who you mesh with will let you know what feels right. So many great options for everyone!

        1. FSI graduates undergo 80+ hours of training, in addition to required assignment, projects, readings, and they too receive ongoing mentorship.
          Classes are taught by experts in the sleep consulting field, in addition to peadrictians, child psychologists, etc. etc.
          I hardly think 3 days of training is comparable.

          As for the association of professional sleep Consulants. The only association people should be interested in is the IACSC, and as far as I can see, the founder of WeeSleep isn’t on that board.

          1. I agree I am surprised that the founder of Weesleep would suggest IMPI is not a satisfactory training when the founder of the Association is the founder of IMPI! Mar.

      3. Eek! We certainly do not recommend cutting feeds at 3 months. You have been misinformed! WeeSleep training is much different and ongoing and very intense. Everyone has their own preferences and there is room for all! ?

        1. I was at a seminar a few weeks ago with a WeeSleep consultant and was told 12 pounds and 3-4 months was safe to eliminate night feeds. I started sleep training my little one who is 3 months and 2 weeks, is this bad now? Should I be concerned about my supply?

          1. I would check with your doctor.
            3-4 months and 12 pounds seems so young.

            Check out http://www.weebeedreaming.com
            Pam is a Certified Sleep Consultant, trained through FSI. Her blog is fantastic and she discusses nights feeds and how it is normal for children to keep in even 1 feed until a child is much much older.

            I worked with a good nite sleep tight consultant and she was fantastic, just an FYI.

          2. I would not only be concerned about your supply, but about your little one who is too young to sleep train, let alone too young to eliminate night feeds. I don’t intend to make you feel bad, or worry you, however I just think perhaps you received inaccurate advice.
            I know my pediatrian told me night feeds are common and just 1 is perfectly acceptable until 8-9 months of age.
            I worked with a good nite sleep tight consultant (I think they are all trained through Family Sleep Institute) and I was told 1-2 night feeds and my little one was 6 months. If she didn’t wake it was fine, but if she did, it was okay for me to feed her.
            According to healthy sleep habits, healthy child (by Marc Weissbluth) before 4 months a child’s biological clock and circadian rhythm is not even regulated. Furthermore, children under 4 months of age do not even produce melatonin, so it is unfair to expect them to sleep all night, when they are not physically capable.

            Someone else on here recommended this read.
            Amanda it’s a wonderful book, I second the recommendation and would definitely read it.

        2. I worked with a WeeSleep coach and was told to eliminate night feeds at just after 3 months. I was shocked after receiving my “personalized” sleep plan, and I never reached out to the Consultant again. Biggest waste of 300$ my husband and I ever spent.

          I would not recommend WeeSleep.

      4. Hi all.

        I thought I would chime in. I’m a certified infant & child sleep consultant from IMPI, a member of the IASCS & APSC. I am also an early childhood educator, happiest baby on the block educator, infant & child mental health through sick kids hospital, breast feeding management through INFACT Canada…..and 18 years of in home post partum night/day support with twins/triplets.

        I am going to speak for IMPI. It takes 1-1.5 years approx to become a certified infant and child sleep consultant with IMPI. I finished a little sooner than others since I had been a sleep consultant for close to 10 years prior to my certification. The course is extremely involved and the support from the founder – Mar – is exceptional. We study birth psychology, emotional well being, sleep practises around the world, breast feeding relationships, personal sleep philosophies(why sleep work should never be cookie cutter), comfort levels and goals of individual clients, ppa/ppd, sleep science, methodology(ALL methodologies), client’s readiness to make changes……the list goes on and on. The IMPI course impressed me to no end. The continuing education goes and on. It is endless learning and support through the community. You are certified for life. And can choose to be your own style of sleep consultant. You can attract a specific type of clientele – example you may work with more attachment parenting type clients – or a middle of the road supportive approach(leaving feeds in for older babies) – or a more no nonsense approach. Each consultant creates their own style and approach – and each client receives a very tailored plan.

        Let’s not get unprofessional here to knock anyone else’s sleep school background or which sleep association is better.

        There are enough tired parents out there for all types of sleep consultants.

        Parents do your research well to find a match for your parenting style and comfort level.

        Warmly, Maxine
        http://www.minisleepschool.com

          1. …and for the record, I do not wean night feeds out at a certain weight.
            Night weaning and sleep training are 2 separate things!

            Many of my clients keep a feed or 2 in depending on comfort level, supply, emotional well-being, temperament of baby, neurological sleep organization etc..

        1. Very well said Maxinie,

          I honestly have heard nothing but amazing things about both of the IMPI and FSI programs, as well as the graduates from both programs.

          I am honestly saddened to see that the Canadian board of directors for APSC is in fact Janey Reilly, as her comments on this board seem very inappropriate, and her overzealous attitude and defense of her sleep Consulting training program seems uncalled for, and unprofessional. Especially since she built herself up, by tearing other fellow sleep Consultants down.
          Maybe somebody should pass this information along to Mar…letting the ASPC know this is who is representing them.
          Having you comment here today is a breathe of fresh air.

          I hope Janey Reilly doesn’t have your comment removed. A few others have said other sleep Consultants who commented on here had their posts deleted, as well a few other people who commented with bad WeeSleep experiences had their comments deleted.

          Thank you kindly.

          1. I am saddened to see this on here. The IMPI and FI programs are incredibly amazing. I have not said anything inappropriate and have not, and would not ever, out anyone down. I am, and always have been a massive supporter of all programs out there. I am not sure what you mean by some of your comments but not only are they hurtful, they are very disrespectful and uncalled for. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you. But what I do know is everyone can learn from eachother and we are all a team- or at least I think we should be. I am a professional and have the utmost respect for Mar and l professionals in the industry. Our trainings are all different, its a personal choice. I have not and did not put any training down- never have, never will. Infact I have referred people to others courses on any occasions. I really do not feel this is fair nor. This is actually quite distasteful and hurtful.

      1. Before 4 months of age children’s circadian rhythms have not developed, therefore they cannot be sleep coached. Little changes can be made here and there, but in regards to full on sleep coaching, it is not fair, nor is it safe to do so when our little ones systems are still immature and not fully developed. At 16 weeks a child’s sleeping patterns change, to become more like us adults, hence why it is then a great age to start sleep coaching ?
        I am a sleep consultant, and this is common knowledge. Anyone recommending any differently is questionable.
        Check out healthy habits, healthy child by Marc Weissbluth for more information. He is a pediatrician, been in the field for 25+ years, focuses on sleep issues and offers sound advice and support.

        Good luck!

        1. My 4 month old is 13.5 pounds so she still needs one or two night feedings to meet her daily intake (she’s on formula)
          Is it still ok to follow these steps to help baby learn to self soothe?
          We started the 4 month ‘sleep regression’ a couple weeks ago and since then, she tries really hard (and is usually successful) soothing herself unless of course she wakes up out of hunger.

  28. Hey Ali!

    Thank you so much for this! I also have a baby girl that is quite sick with cold and has not been sleeping well at all. But after seeing your instagram story I know it is still possible for her to sleep through the night. I do have a question regarding naps. Is there a certain schedule you have Molly for naps?

    1. I’m also interested in the nap regiment! Two naps, did you Have to do the “cry it out” method for those also? With a different routine? Same crib? Pack and play? Need help here!

  29. Hi Ali
    Reading your experience made my heart melt for you…especially when you said you were in your kitchen crying & screaming with Molly about being so frustrated & stressed about the lack of sleep.
    I’m so happy you found a solution with Janey and Weesleep.

    You are a great Mother!
    From what I’ve read you write about Kevin’s sharing/helping….he is a great Father/husband.

    Wishing you, Kevin & Molly many peaceful, sweet dreams. ?

  30. I have been waiting for your sleeping update! I am so glad you feel good about it. I bought “the sleep easy solution” book and it is basically this tactic! It has helped me a ton! My girl is 4 months now and she’s waking up once a night. I have to wean her off that but I just have the right time when we have nothing else going on. I know she’s ready because she isn’t starving in the am either!

    The crying is hard but knowing that it is helping them in the long run is the best way to get through it. It’s easy to fix the problems in the moment but it will come back to hit you later! Thank you for admitting your hard times along with the good. It helps mom’s to recognize that it isn’t always cake.

    Being a mom is the hardest job I’ve ever had but also the most rewarding. Your blog always reminds me that I’m not alone though!

  31. Okay, this is going to be long! Ali, you have no idea how much I appreciate you and writing about this! We are in such similar situations, it’s scary! Except you look great in all your Instagram stories and I look like I’ve been hit by a freight train! My daughter Lily is also 9 months, born 7/11. We recently moved back to our home town because we also had zero help. We both had full time jobs and my husband would work at night then watch her all day while I worked so Lily’s lack of sleep was so hard on us. We tried a little sleep training at 6 months and it worked for a few weeks. But then we thought she was teething (she wasn’t) and the wheels just fell off. Our crutch was that we brought her into bed with us. At first it was nice and we loved cuddling with her and waking up as a family. Now she’s more mobile and my husband still works in the early morning, I just don’t trust that she won’t fall out of bed! Lily would wake up 4-5 times a night plus take those 30 minute naps just like Molly! Now that we’ve moved back (I don’t have a job so we are actually living with my parents.. now we have TOO much help, lol) I think we need to try training again. We gave Lily a few weeks to adjust to the new surroundings but I’m back to being at wits end! I literally broke down crying this morning at 4 am so you have NO idea how grateful I am for this post. Money is so tight right now so hiring a sleep coach is out of the question. You are a saint Ali and we are going to try your routine starting tonight! I can’t say enough how much I appreciate you.

  32. Thank you SO much Ali! My little guy is almost a year old and I’m so sleep-deprived as I’m still nursing him 2-3 times a night (exclusively breastfed as well). This is SUCH an eye-opener! I can’t wait to try it, and yes, I think I’ll have hubby help out in another room for the first couple of nights! You rock and are doing such an amazing job with adorable Molly! Thank you for your post and restoring sanity to so many mommies out there! 🙂 xo
    p.s. Next can you please blog about going back to work part-time??? I’ve been home for several years now, as my older son is 3 1/2 years old, and I’ve been thinking more and more about getting back into the workforce in some capacity….what has your experience been like? Thank youuu!! 🙂

  33. Sounds like a must-try for moms with little ones who aren’t sleeping! Can you share more about Janey’s rates? Were your services comped?

      1. I still don’t see clarification on if the services were provided for free. As an online influencer, Ali must disclose if there is any sort of relationship with the brand.

        The FTC’s Endorsement Guides state that if there is a “material connection” between an endorser and an advertiser (aka: a connection that might affect the weight or credibility that consumers give the endorsement) that connection must be “clearly and conspicuously” disclosed, unless it is already clear from the context of the communication. A material connection could be a business or family relationship, monetary payment, or the gift of a free product.

  34. Thank you for the tips!!! I will be for sure trying this with our 8.5 month old who has never sleep straight through the night yet! I am one tired momma with a 2.5 year old toddler running around as well…

  35. So she goes to bed around 6:30, and sleeps all night? What time is she up? Did I miss that in the article? My baby is only a few days younger than yours. I am sleep training but needed some of your tips!!!! I will nurse before the lights go off and wait for the white noise!

    1. She is in bed between 6pm and 7pm (no earlier than 6 but no later than 7) depending on when she wakes from 2nd nap. She’s always in bed 2:45 to 3 hours after she wakes up from 2nd nap. And she will sleep 11 to 12 hours through the night!

  36. Because of your post, I hired Erin @weesleep and we start ST on Friday. Thank you for letting us FTM’s know that there is help out there and not every baby will just start sleeping through the night on their own. I cannot wait to get started with ST.

      1. I used Erin too, but the Erin Junker I used is no longer with WeeSleep. This must be a new Erin.
        Erin Junker has her own company The Happy Sleep Company and she is seriously awesome. She is on CTV too.

  37. Than you so much for posting. Ever since you said you were getting a coach I was so anxious to hear how it went. My husband is an ER Resident so his schedule is absolutely crazy so I’m all on my own every single night with our little guy and the lack of sleep is REALLY starting to get to me (my son will be 6 months tomorrow). I think I might start to try some of these changes tonight!!

    Also, thank you for posting your struggles. That might sound weird, but its so reassuring to know I’m not the only one who sometimes feels like she’s failing at this motherhood thing.

  38. At what age do people recommend sleep training? I currently have a routine with my two month old (I’ll make some changes based on the information above) but have not eliminated the middle of the night feeding due to age. When would it be okay to eliminate it? He currently sleeps 6 – 8 hours, feed, them 3-4 hours. Also, he does great putting himself to sleep for bed, naps we haven’t figured out yet.

    1. The usual recommendation is you can start at 4 months and at least 14 pounds. It’s absolutely great to start the routine now but you can pretty much eliminate night feedings at 4 months/14 lbs.

        1. I’m in the same situation Amie! My LO is 4 months, 13.5 pounds, 26 inches
          She wakes up once or twice for feedings but self soothes pretty well otherwise. Occasionally we have to give her, her Soother. We also haven’t figured out naps. She has 3 good naps a day, when I hold her ? looking for suggestions on how to ‘train’ for naps

  39. So proud of you!! We did the same thing — almost the exact routine at 4 months and we’ve had a great sleeper ever since (our babe is 10 months now). GREAT JOB!!!

  40. Hi Ali!
    We also started working with Janey since last week and My baby girl who is almost 9 months has had so much improvement in her sleep. She even slept through the night for 12 hours once!! We are so thankful to WeeSleep! It is like having a whole new child!?

  41. We started sleep training my 8 month old and I agree, she’s a different baby during the day now! She’s so happy, which makes me so happy! I don’t get out of work until 7pm, so unfortunately her bedtime has to be a lot later than what is usual for little babies, but she is still able to sleep 10-12 hours at night. Thank you for sharing your tips, I will definitely be using them as I continue to sleep train my daughter 🙂

  42. Thank you so much for sharing this blog post. I really enjoyed reading it. I have an almost 6 month old and he is sleeping pretty good, he always has except he is currently teething so this might help us out right now. We definitely need to have him learn to self soothe. But us mamas hate hearing our babies cry!

    quick question: did you ever worry about the soothie being in the crib with her? Like my son likes blankets up by his face and to snuggle things which is why i use all breathable blankets. but at night i use nothing but a sleep sack. I would love to give him a small blanket or stuffed animal to comfort him but i am worried he will put it on his face and not be able to breath (I know paranoid right?!) Let me know your thoughts!!

    thanks again for sharing!! Molly is so cute! <3

    1. I don’t think you’re paranoid, I wondered the same. I just found out Aden and Anais makes “breatheable” loveys for this reason. They’re on Amazon.

  43. Hi! Thanks for sharing this great information! Do you put Molly on a structured nap schedule, or base it on when she wakes up for the day? For example is she always napping at 10 am and 3pm, or does she take her nap 3 hours after she wakes up in the morning so it’s at different times based on her am wake up time? I hope this makes sense. I didn’t sleep much last night 😉

  44. Wonderful post! We sleep trained using the Ferber method when my son was about 6 months old ( it’s similar to what you did where you do set check in’s while they’re falling asleep and if they wake up). I was overwhelmed with how many different methods there are for sleep training and the Ferber method worked for us but I appreciate the more detailed plan you outlined that WeeSleep uses. I will definitely use those pointers for when there’s a baby #2. I totally agree I felt so guilty sleep training at first (we were also doing breast milk every couple hours over night) but after just 2 nights of sleep training my son also totally changed into a way more content baby. Even naps became SO much easier for him. Thank you for sharing your sleep training journey!

  45. Hi Ali,

    Thanks so much for this post. I’ve been making the exact same mistakes that you were prior to sleep training. One question about the BF. How many feeds does Molly get during the day? I’m always worried my little guy isn’t eating enough during the day so I BF twice at night. He’s almost 8 months old and also eats solids throughout the day.

  46. ALi I am sooo happy to hear that you decided to hire a sleep consultant and that Molly is now a pro at sleeping! Hiring a sleep consultant was one of the best decisions my husband and I made. You have given Molly such a gift, teaching her that she can put herself to sleep. As my husband said in our review to our sleep consultant ‘you can’t put a price on a good nights sleep’.

  47. Thank you, Ali! I was hoping you would share this with us.
    My little miss is 10 months. She was the best sleeper the first 8 months and then something changed (vacation, teething, etc.) and everything was thrown off. We’re just now getting back on track. I will definitely be using some of your plan though! And thank you for sharing Molly with us. Ella and I watch your insta stories with her and it makes her smile every time! xo

  48. Thanks for sharing Ali!!! I have been watching your posts and my little man is doing the exact same thing! He’s my second, and he cries basically all the time, is not happy to play, and if I put him down and walk away for a sec, he has a complete breakdown!!! I’m definitely going to try this out, bc this momma of 2 is so exhausted!!! Thanks for sharing ?

  49. My son is a year old and I have thought about sleep training. He hasn’t slept through a night since he was 4 months old. He also has never been a great napper BUT he is very rarely fussy and is content most of the time. I have noticed that he has been taking naps later in the afternoons and sometimes isn’t waking up from them until 6:30-6:45 PM. Unfortunately I do not get home from work until at least 6:00 so it just isn’t feasible for him to go to bed any earlier than 7:30-8:30 most nights.

  50. Great article! I love that you shared this, we sleep trained our 9 month old boy, it was so similar to what Molly was doing, waking several times a night and me nursing him. Many people said sleep training was mean to let them cry. It was not until I spoke to his Pediatrician and she said you are exhausted and he is exhausted- sleep training is the best thing you can do for the both of you. I also had a breakdown too and couldn’t take it much more. I am so glad you shared your story and I hope others understand how beneficial sleep training is for everyone!

  51. Ali, how is Molly doing with someone else watching her? I went to workout this morning and the baby cried her head off for my mother in law basically the whole time :-(. She is in a little stranger danger phase.

  52. Ali! Thanks SO much for posting this. This sounds like my 7 month old too! Terrible napper (two 30 minute naps a day if we’re lucky). She does sleep well first half of night then she may wake up every 2 hours or so and sometimes she can put herself back to sleep, other times I have to rock her with her paci. We formula feed but we use the paci and she needs the rocking at times (or so I thought!). Our schedule looks basically the same as yours pre- sleep training! I’m definitely going to try some of these suggestions, thank you!!!!

  53. Good work mamma!!! Sleep training was a life saver for us too! Don’t ever question yourself or feel terrible for what you were doing prior to sleep training. As moms (and first time moms) we are figuring all these things out as we go. It’s obvious how much you love your little girl and you are e doing what you think is best for her. It’s a learning process for everyone. Thank you for being so candid and sharing your experience with us!

  54. This post is gold right now as we plan to sleep train our 6 month old in May. I’ve been back at work for 2 months now with very little sleep and I just can’t handle it any more! Can you elaborate on how the checks work? You only do a check if they cry for more than 10 minutes straight without taking a little break to try to self-soothe?? What is the longest stretch that Molly did cry for that first night? An hour? Thank you so much for this information, it’s so helpful and also so encouraging to hear as we start our sleep training journey soon!

  55. First off – you and Jillian are my favorite bachelorettes! I follow both you and Jillian on instagram and have been debating seeking out a sleep consultant. This blog gives me hope. I have a 10 month old and struggling with sleep. I also have the added pressure that my 10 month old and almost 3 year old share a room.

    When you first started sleep training and first put Molly down for the night how long did you let her cry for? I’ve tried this with my daughter and she cries so hard she ends up making herself throw up 🙁

  56. Loved reading this blog Ali! My son is now 10 months old and I always find I can totally relate to what you’re blogging about with reference to Molly. We have tried sleep training but because he is now able to stand he instantly stands in his crib and starts wailing (snotty face and everything), I always feel terrible listening to him cry (after an hour of this) so give in and end up rocking him. I know I need to get away from rocking him but feel like he’s never going to lay down when we let him cry. He still wakes every night to feed and at this point will not go back into his crib without again standing and sobbing… tired Momma me will then usually bring him into our bed. Totally get co-sleeping and support those that love it but I feel like it’s necessary to get him sleep trained before going back to work. We’ve tried the routine in the evening, don’t know where to go from here! Do you just decide you’re going to start tonight then do the same for nap the following day? Naps aren’t our problem, so long as we rock him he will sleep for 1.5 hrs twice a day. He is a wildly happy child but definitely loves his Mom and being held. He is 25 pounds at 10 months old so definitely doesn’t need the night feed anymore 🙂 Would love to get away from rocking him to sleep and co-sleeping. Do you have any suggestions?

    1. Honestly, I think you just have to stay out of his room and let him cry. It’s going to be SOOOO hard but he will learn quickly! Babies are so smart! But I’m not a professional, so if you can save up the money, I would highly recommend a sleep coach!

      1. Thanks ladies! Going to have to wear some ear plugs haha, starting fresh tonight and crossing my fingers! Thank you!! Loving all this insight and how supportive all the moms are with one another xo

      2. We are on night 4 and I just want to say THANK YOU! So much. He officially went to bed tonight with no tears and has been sleeping through the night! What an amazing difference. So thankful you posted this blog or I honestly don’t know if we would have tried sleep training, I was so skeptical. I am now so excited that we are able to put him to sleep in his own room with ease!!!! Amazing. Thanks again xo

        1. Hi Tara- I am in the exact same boat!! (My daughter is 10mo old too, and does the same thing.) Did your little one finally lay himself down and stop screaming? I have tried to let my little one “soothe herself” but after 30min of standing and screaming I couldn’t take it anymore. Help!

  57. Hi Ali! Huge fan and follower. My DS is also EBF and just turned 8 months and also on solids. I’m curious if the sleep training has affected your milk supply? Do you pump before you go to bed or just nurse on demand still when with Molly? When you are away and pumping, how much milk to you leave for the feeding? Just curious how 12 hours of sleep has affected her nursing/ eating schedule during the day. TIA!!!

    1. She nurses 4 times a day now. When she wakes up. After her first nap. After her 2nd nap. And right before bed. My supply is pretty low by the end of the day (normal for women) so I also give her 3 oz extra milk in a bottle after nursing right before bed. I’m lucky that we have a good stash from all the pumping I’ve done over the past 9 months. I pump a lot less now. Only when I miss feedings. She will take 5-6oz from a bottle when I miss a feeding. But I don’t worry about it if I only give her 4oz (if that’s the size of the frozen bag I have) because we just give her more solids. At this point, I try not to worry about how much milk she gets throughout the day because she gets so many solids. In general, you just want to make sure your baby gets enough calories. Its the milk right before bed that I’m most concerned about which is why I give extra in a bottle. Or sometimes we will just give a 5.5oz bottle before bed and I will pump after she’s asleep to use up older milk and store newer milk.

      1. I left a comment below about my nap time struggles..sorry to piggyback on this comment! My husband gives my son a bottle of breast milk before bed each night, puts him down awake and he sleeps 12 hours in his crib like a champ. I can’t seem to figure out a nap time routine that works…I’ve tried nursing, not nursing, putting down awake, drowsy, asleep, etc…but no matter what, he refuses to nap in his crib!! Curious how you put molly down for naps without nursing??

  58. SO SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! I cannot imagine going that long with so little sleep. You are a rock star and a wonderful mother. Enjoy that sweet girl! Mine are 5 and 10 months and it just keeps getting better and better 🙂

  59. Ali!
    Loved this blog and it is SO true. We are in the middle of sleep training our 5.5 month old now and it’s a night and day difference. I committed to taking the monitor out in the living room when she would wake up and I would listen to podcasts/read my bible until she would fall asleep. It was SO good for me (and her) — I’m able to be a much better mama and a wife when we have sleep!

  60. Omg! We used WeeSleep after I saw Jillian’s post about it!!! It is seriously the best money we’ve ever spent!!! My husband and I looked at each other on night 3 and were in shock!! I HIGHLY recommend sleep training for everyone!!

  61. Did Molly cry when you left her in her crib for the night? That is my biggest thing. My son will cry for an hour and I just can’t deal with it. Putting him to sleep without nursing is the hardest part for me.

  62. Thanks for sharing Ali! I have an 8.5 month old who also is exclusively breastfed and wakes every 2-3 hours. My husband and I have tossed around the idea of sleep training so many times, but we live such a busy ‘on-the-go’ lifestyle that we just don’t know if that amount of structure would fit for us. How do you plan for naps on the go – such as in the car or on an airplane? Do you feel you have to be home by 6pm every night in order to maintain this sleep schedule?!
    Thanks 🙂

  63. I’m so happy for you! We sleep trained my 2 year old when he was 5-6 months old and he’s been a great sleeper ever since. I read a book that gave me specific instructions. I’m currently 7 months pregnant with our second and I definitely plan to sleep train again if necessary! I couldn’t agree with you more – it’s definitely for the best of the babies, the parents and the house! Even our dog looked at us like ‘is that kid really up again?!’ LOL! Congratulations to all of you! XO

    1. Hi Lindsey!
      Do you mind sharing the name of the book you followed? My daughter self-soothes going down for the night but wakes several times during the night and does not self-soothe during those times.
      Thanks!
      Courtney

  64. Thanks so much for sharing Ali! Did they give you a timeframe for how long the total sleep time should be? 10 hrs? 12 hrs? My first baby slept like a champ from the very beginning and so even though baby #2 isn’t too bad in the sleep department (he usually wakes once in a 12 hr period) I’m not used to getting up in the middle of the night. I’ve always just fed him because it was the easy thing to do to get him to go back to sleep but I think its time I worked on this. P.S. Molly is so adorable! Love your daily videos 🙂

  65. ALI!!! Thank you so much for this advice – I have read this twice now and I’m printing it out and bringing home to my husband to read as well – we have a 10 month old son – its been rough – but honestly when I see your blogs about not sleeping I’m like “hey at least I’m not the only one sleep deprived” I thought it was a normal thing like you – my son is just needy – I exclusively breast feed as well – and I’m up 2-3 times a night to feed him – I’ve tried keeping him up later to get REALLY tired – that doesn’t help obviously – and I’m so tired half the time that I just leave him in my arms while he breast feeds and we both fall back asleep –

    Let me start by saying my struggle started from the moment he was born – we have two daughters 13 and 11 (13 year old I delivered naturally and from previous marriage – 11 year old is my husbands from previous marriage – we are a blended family ) my daughter slept in her crib from day one – no issues slept amazing – with my son however I had an emergency C-Section – so being able to get up to get him out of the crib wasn’t an option for the first week or so – and being at home alone I would worry if I put him down and something happened I wouldn’t be able to get to him fast enough – and just in that one/two week period it became a habit to have him in my arms to sleep – it was a security blanket for not only him but me – which was my first problem – not a mistake because it made me feel comfortable – and for a new mom that’s the main purpose – but it caused the challenges we have now –

    We have moved his crib into our room in the last month – thinking he would be scared in his room alone – and I tried feeding him then laying him in his crib – he would sleep for about an hour then back up and crying – and after about a week I stopped even doing that – but as a mother we trick ourselves into thinking we HAVE to tend to their every need – this blog post is a reminder to me that I need to get myself back on track and sleeping more then 3 hours at a time – I work as well, and so I’m sleeping 2 rounds of about 3 hours a night total – then going to work for 9 -10 hours – then in 1-1/2 traffic every day – I’m definitely not the best
    I can be with that kind of sleep – not the best for my son – not the best for my two other children – not the best for work – and I believe the one I am neglecting the most is my husband – which you don’t mention in the blog – but it took a toll on him and I – not in the making for a divorce or anything – but just that when it came to bed time it was SHHHH the baby is asleep kinda atmosphere – not only am I a zombie at the end of the day and not even fun to be around – my husband an I haven’t had much time to ourselves to reconnect in any aspect – its been 10 months since we have been in a room alone lol – looking back – he is such a trooper and doesn’t complain much – 🙂

    Now that I have gone off and written way to much – I will reiterate that the blog has reassured me that I can sleep train – I’m not an evil mom for doing so – I need it to be the best mom/wife/friend/employee/person I can be and sleeping will definitely enable me to do so – I truly appreciate you being so honest all the time about motherhood – someone like me really loves reading and comparing notes – taking the advice – seeing I’m not alone in all the steps/milestones –
    You are doing a great thing – if not for anyone else – for me as a new mother (again) just knowing that I’m not alone in any struggles – THANK YOU

  66. Thanks so much for posting Ali! I have a three-year-old that was easily trained and, honestly, I don’t even remember how we did it. I think we were just very consistent about a routine even though it killed me…

    I now have a 10-day old 🙂 and I am wondering when the ideal time is to start training him. I know he is too young now, but we want to start as soon as he is ready and able!

    Thanks again! Love your blog!!

  67. Hi Ali,

    We have a daughter one month younger than you and we did sleep training and it has been such a blessing. My question for you is what did your coach suggest when your child is teething? Normally our daughter will go down at night no problem, but lately she requires more cuddles till she is asleep (she does go down by herself for naps). She still sleeps throughout the night, except for last night when she woke up at 5:30 crying. Just curious if she gave you any suggestions.

    Love your blogs!

    Danielle

  68. Nice, everything looks like it turned out great. we did it around 4 months and have had 12 hour nights for the past 2 years, it’s glorious. She’s happy all the time – a well rested/good sleeping child is a noticeably different thing. You do have to develop thick skin for a few days, and the intervals go up for the checkins like you said. the bath is a key point in the night time wind down and noise machine = life saver. we were doing the humidifier too for a while, but those things are so hard to maintain unless you clean it daily (who has that time, we’re sleep training), careful because it can build up mold quick and you can get “humidifier fever” that last for about a day and completely unnecessary :).

  69. Have always been such a big fan, Ali! Love reading your mommy posts ? ! Hoping you have a bit of advice for me. My baby boy is 8 months old and is a great sleeper at night…sleeps 12 hours in his crib. We put him down awake and he goes right to sleep. Naps, however are a different story. He loves to nap…but only in my lap. I have tried having the same routine as bedtime minus the bath, I have tried sleep training for nap time, and nothing has worked. As much as I love him napping on me, I need to be able to do stuff around the house and am worried that if I don’t break the habit now, he will never nap in the crib. Would be so grateful for any advice you could offer ??

  70. Hi Ali,

    When Molly was crying did she ever pull herself up to standing in her crib? The last 2 nights my 8.5 month old has been standing up when I go in to get her.

  71. Thanks for sharing, Ali! We follow a schedule with my 8 month old and have loved the results as well! The only thing I hadn’t heard of was not letting your little one be awake more than 3 hours before bedtime. We usually are at 3.5-4 hours of awake time before bed based on his last nap of the day :/ Would you mind sharing your schedule or what time you do naps? Thanks!

  72. Hi Ali! 🙂

    I’ve been following your blog for a while now and your transparent posts about the difficulty you had with Molly’s sleep – I mentioned using Moms On Call (not sure if you remember haha).

    I am BEYOND thrilled to hear that your whole household is healthier, happier, well rested and thriving! *Feel me giving you a tight warm hug, rejoicing with you!* I’m a huge advocate for sleep training. I did it when my son was little, so it was very modified. My son loves sleep to this day and he’s 5! My MOC sleep consultant truly made us confident in our parenting and we are so grateful we did sleep training. It was the healthiest thing we could do for our son.

  73. This blog could not have come at a more perfect time!

    My daughter is 6 months old and just had her check up. Her doctor asked how she is sleeping and I told her “Well she still wakes up every 2.5-3 hours to nurse.” And she told me that she is old enough to be sleeping through the night. (You mean I could be getting more sleep!) Especially because she is in the 90th percentile for weight I don’t need to be nursing her throughout the night. So I’ve been trying to decide if I should sleep train her. But it is so hard! She is still so little and this part of their lives goes by so quickly that I tell myself I can keep waking up all night long, but that is just not realistic. I am so tired!!

    Our bedtime routine was exactly what yours used to be! And I thought it was perfect. But after reading your blog it makes so much more sense to be leaving the lights on, not nursing her to sleep, etc.

    Thank you so much for your down to earth mentality and advice!

  74. Hello Ali!
    Thank you for sharing your your experience! My Avery is just a couple weeks older than Molly, weve got our nighttime routine down, 12 hours consistently. But she is a 20 minute napper 3x a day. You mentioned that Molly is now napping up to two hours 2x a day. What are you doing if she wakes up prior to 2 hours? Do you apply the same cry it out & check in method that you do for nighttime?

  75. I follow both you and Jillian and now have added weesleep !! I truly believe routine is the key ! It’s amazing how fast babies adapt! I’m on my second baby now and Lawson is 4 months and I’ve started sleep training very similar to what you do and 5 whole nights I’ve gotten now ! I also picked him up what’s called a peppa bunny and after my shower when I bought it I put it in my shirt and it will hold my scent ! He has slept with it every nap and every night 🙂 Thanks for sharing the part about blankets cause I did not think of babies liking blankets like adults ! Putting on his sleep sack tonight ! Here’s to happy sleeping ?

  76. Hi Ali
    My baby boy will be 10 months in 5 days he has slept great through the night since her was 2month but we can not get him.to sleep during the day…he will take one sometimes two 20 min naps a day he’s done this same thing since he was 2 months old. I can’t get anything done during the day…so my night’s are spent doing most of mu.daytime stuff

  77. Our daughter is 9 months old as well and went from STTN since birth to waking 1-3 times a night starting at 8 months. She also has 5 teeth and working on her molars so I am reluctant to sleep train when she is in teething pain. I believe this because I have given her a full dose of motrin twice now in the past 5 days. Those two nights of a full dose of motrin, she has STTN, the other nights, she is waking 4-6 hours after being put to bed and crying hard! She won’t even take the bink because I believe her mouth hurts. We have an almost exact bedtime routine that Janey suggested, crazy how similar it is. So our daughter is capable of going to sleep on her own, she has STTN up until 8 months. So much is going on at 8 months-a sleep regression, a developmental leap, teething…..So do we let her cry only checking on her periodically? I still have to feed her (formula fed) once anywhere between 2-5am. She goes back to sleep but her pediatrician said even at her age and up until 1yr, the majority of babies still need a feeding, especially since our daughter is not drinking much during the day. So you need to make sure they are getting the recommended 24-30 oz of formula if formula fed, not sure how much breast milk they need, in order for a baby to sttn. Right now our daughter is only taking in 18oz total for the day plus her 3 meals and two snacks. I tried throwing in a bedtime snack, thinking it would hold her over but nope! This all started when her teeth starting coming in like crazy:(

  78. Have you traveled at all with her since completing sleep training? Do you follow he same routine or something different? My 8 month old nurses like 3 times a night and we travel to see family a lot and spend a lot of time in the car taking my other kids to school and picking them up during naptime. So I was just wondering if you were given a travel plan or if it is the same? Thanks!

  79. Molly and my Livvy are a day apart in age. However, I’m pretty sure sleep training will not work for my girl. She, like Molly, is always so whiny. She crawled at 6 months and has been walking for a couple weeks… this has helped with her attitude, but she still freaks if I step away from her for 10 seconds. I started the most awful habit of having her sleep with us just so I could get some sleep. I recently started trying to put her down in her crib, and that was a TOTAL NIGHTMARE!!! She stood up, started SCREAMING at the top of her lungs, crying, jumping up and down, and BITING THE CRIB SO HARD that she made her mouth bleed. I seriously left her in there for less than 30 seconds. When I went back in, all I saw was her bloody mouth and teeth marks on the side of her crib. WORST. MOTHER. EVER!!! And possible devil baby… (mind you, she loves being in her crib as long as it’s not for sleeping, and as long as I don’t leave her in there.) I haven’t tried letting her sleep in her crib since. She will only fall asleep on the boob. She wakes after every 30 minute sleep cycle. I mean. Things are pretty much hopeless over here. With all that said, I’m so happy for you and your Molly. 🙂 🙁

  80. This post makes me want to cry my eyes out. I can relate to LITERALLY everything you’ve been struggling with. My sweet, sweet son, Camden (7 mo), has been so fussy and it’s making this momma borderline insane. He’s so sweet and happy, most of the time, but when night time hits everything changes. I can’t wait to try this on him this weekend and hope to get more than 2 hours of sleep at one time without having to nurse him so often (the only way I’ve known for 7 months). Thank you for sharing!!!!

  81. My little boy now 8 months old wakes up 2 to 3 times a night and finishes a 150ml bottle of formula. If i dont feed him he continues to scream. He does take a dummy, when i give him the dummy he just spits it out and screams. Im also worried that he will wake up my daughter if i just let him scream thanks for your help

  82. I needed to read this! Thank you!
    Im cutrently strugglinh with 10 mon old. She use to sleep really well…only waking a couple times at night which I can handle and id go in check diaper (which she cries everytime I change her!!) and then feed bottle to get to sleep again…we also do the sound machine, lights off, bath…(not in that order, but the same order you said) and it has worked for the most part but some nights she just gets sooo thrown off and wakes up alot more or fights to go back to sleep when I know she is sooo tired…it really is sooo exhausting! Im a stay at home mom and hubby works all day, so im the one who gets up and the one she is use to so hubby can rest. But there have been nights where he gets woken up and it stresses me out knowing she woke him…not to mention we just temporarily moved into an apartment and im even more stressed about her crying at night and waking everyone up…I wish I could let her self sothe because I believe it works but being where we are I cant let her cry that long so I do everything I can to get her to stop…ive even ran a warm bath for her at 3 in the morning when she wouldnt calm down and go back to sleep. She also has no teeth yet and I know the teething nightmares are coming soon and im not looking forward to it! All I can do is pray! Thank you Ali for sharing your story and helping all us other mamas out there and reassuring us that we arnt alone in the game! : )

  83. We also used WeeSleep at around 5.5 months because I was in the same boat and thought my baby was high needs because she was never happy and didn’t want to play but turns out all she needed was sleep! Now she’s 8monyhs old and sleeps 12-14 hours at night and takes two naps and we couldn’t be happier!

    It’s the best money we spent as well and has improved our life with our little one! Sleep well, you deserve it!

  84. I can’t thank you enough for posting this! We have a 8 month old little boy (almost 9 months) and he wakes up every night just for his pacifier and will go back to sleep, but he does this every 2 hours throughout the night. We have been talking about sleep training, but everything we have heard to do was exactly what you wrote was considered the wrong method! I am excited to try this! Thank you so so much!

  85. Thank you SO much for this! I’m glad to hear you guys are getting that much needed rest!

    We just started “sleep training” our 8 month old daughter 2 days ago. I feel like this whole post I was just nodding my head in agreeance at feeling like we were doing all the things we thought we were supposed to do and the utter exhaustion and daily grind.

    We will definitely implement leaving the lights on for stories and feed, I didn’t realise! I too was trying to turn the lights down low in the lead up

    Also, is there any tips for dealing with early wakeups? It’s 5 AM in Sydney here and our baby slept thro but was ready to go this morning at 4:30 with no chance of going back to bed! Not sure how to push it out just that little bit

    ..But funny story about the exhaustion. Yesterday I think the lack of sleep caught up to me and I went to the gym and dropped my daughter in the crèche (they will watch your baby for 90 min while you work out). I was so tired and couldn’t stop yawning entering the gym that sat down on one of the couches and literally FELL asleep until my phone woke me up to pick up my daughter! Lol!!

    Thanks again and love seeing how big little Molly is getting! She is just darling!

  86. Hi Ali,
    How long would molly cry when you first put her down for bed? My little girl Paisley is 4 months and we started sleep training a couple nights ago and she will cry for 2+ hours. She will stop here and there during that time and try and sooth herself but always starts crying again. After 2 hours I’ve been going in and helping her fall a sleep because it just seems so long that she’s crying for.

  87. This is amazing! My Lo was born July 10, so we love following you and Molly! I feel like they’re friends from afar. We went through the exact fussy stage you described and I almost died. I also found out I was pregnant (total surprise). I am curious, what time does Molly usually go down for her 2 naps and what time does she wake in the morning? We can’t seem to get down to two naps a day!

  88. I am SO happy for y’all & sweet Molly!! My baby boy (6 months) is breastfeed too & I thought he was a bad sleeper too! I was so sleep deprived that I invested in sleep training asap. We used The Baby Sleep Site consultation process (USA company) Having an expert on your side & cheering you on really makes a difference! He was sleeping 11/12 hours a night & putting himself to sleep with no paci by one week! Now that he’s been able to practice for so long, we love bedtime ? We put him down around 7 & I don’t have to go back into his room until he wakes up between 7-8 the next morning. I’m so glad Molly has been a happier baby – she needed her sleep ? I really think sleep is so much more important when they are this young. Their brain needs that time to rest & recharge for all the things they’re learning. Our son is crawling already & I’m convinced it’s because his brain has gotten smart from all his sleep! ? Best wishes to the Manno family!

  89. Great job Ali!! Hard work pays off! We hired Holly (formerly from weesleep) to help with our daughter a couple years ago and JUST finished our program with Holly (under her new company tiny sleepers big dreamers) for our second child. He’s 4 months and I knew I could eliminate night feeds but we mutually decided to keep feeds in (we eliminated when my first was 9 months, like you). I’m so glad I started right away with him. I finally have time with my daughter. I bet you will start right away when you have a second! It’s so nice knowing there are sleep consultants out there to help us.

      1. This is amazing! We as well used Holly. She is now with Tiny Sleepers Big Dreamers. Working with her was one of the best investments we have ever made. She helped to get my son sleeping 12 hour nights and taking great naps. It is so wonderful to know that we have support that is out there for us. Sleep is so important!

      2. We used Holly too!! even though she’s not with WeeSleep anymore, I recommend her as a sleep coach, not so much WeeSleep ?

  90. Hi! Thanks so much for posting this! Do you nurse her at all over the course of the night or go 12 hours and then nurse her in the morning? We are sleep training our 9 month old as well but right now I’m dream feeding her around 10 pm because I wasn’t sure if she could go the full 12 hours without food. Thanks!!

    1. When we sleep trained at three and a half months our coach told us she didn’t need the feeding. The first night she slept 10 hours. After that 13 hours. She was exclusively breast fed so o thought for sure she would be hungry but she wasn’t.

  91. Hi Ally I tried to contact you by instagram but no luck. I am currently a nanny looking for a great family. I have 12 year of experience with newborns to 10 years. I was wondering did you use a specific sit when you hired a nanny?? And any chance you could put me in contact with any moms you know in need of a nanny?? Live in or just a couple hours. Thanks ?

  92. Ali, glad you figured it out! the book Babywise states all the same things the WeeSleep. We used Babywise the minute we brought our sons home from the hospital and they were both sleeping through the night by week 10. I am a working Mom and there was no way I could operate on zero sleep. Babies need routine. They love routine. Remember you are the parents and children should be blessed addition to your family, not have the children running you. Also remember this with potty training. It’s called ‘potty training’ for a reason – parent directed, not child directed. 2 boys, both potty trained by 2 years 2 months. (except nighttime) yes it can be done. My boys are now 20 and 17 and they still sleep thru the night. 🙂

    1. We have two girls and also used Babywise book and both girls slept thru the night from 10 weeks on! Best advice we ever got from other parents was to use Babywise! Babies and children thrive when on a routine! Best of luck to all the moms commenting on here. It can be done! ?

  93. Great post! We sleep trained our daughter at three and a half months. My husband works 48 shifts and I hit my breaking point by then as we also didn’t have any family close by to help so we hired a sleep coach (out of San Francisco). She is now 14 months. She sleeps 12 hours during the night and since the training everyone comments on what a happy baby she is. I truly believe it is the sleep she is getting. She was also an exclusively breast fed baby and she never had any sleep regressions yet that I had heard about. I agree that the best investment you can give your baby and yourselves is to hire a sleep coach! If you are in the Bay Area I highly recommend Vivian Sonnenberg. We are very happy and rested parents because of her!

  94. Ali!!!!!!!! its like I wrote that blog myself! haha Our daughters are the same age and the past month with her sleeping has been the biggest challenged I have faced so far! And I thought I was tired in the beginning?!?! haha! Our story is that we just transitioned her into her crib and room b/c we moved. She was sleeping in the rock n play next to us. I started off having her play in her room to get comfortable and then id just place her sitting up in the crib just so she can recognize it. I did that for a week or 2 and then I started to put her there for a nap and it just went down hill from there. She went from napping 2-3 times a day for 2 hours in her rock n play to no naps at all. This lead to a cranky, fussy baby and everything was affected by this. Her eating was off, her demeanor was off etc. When it was time for bed at night things escalated. Screaming crying, thrashing her body around, fighting her tiredness and just would not sleep in the crib. I tried everything in the book to help her but nothing worked. Finally she would fall asleep basically b/c she tuckered herself out from being hysterical. Shed fall asleep at 1 or 3 am. Every night was a battle and every night was different. The last week she has gotten better b/c I think she just got accustomed to the routine of bed time and being in the crib, but she still wakes up throughout the night. And when she wakes up its like shes possessed! Not even joking. Its like shes sleeping but awake. She screams and cries, throws her body around, clenches her fists and is hysterical. I have to pick her up at this point and I lay her on the floor to let her do her thing b/c she wont stay still in my arms. After she calms down me and my husband can begin to calm her and get her to sleep again. But this whole routine last hours some times! She may calm down and as soon as we lift her to put in crib she flips out! And I am feeing her formula still during the night. Her doctor said she doesnt need it but I read that if she drinks the bottle with gusto and falls asleep right after then that means she was actually hungry and NOT just associating waking up with feeding. Who knows if what you read online is true, but many sources said that. Plus, I felt like if she had an off day eating b/c she was cranky that maybe she was truly very hungry! Idk! Some nights when she wakes up I assess the cry and I will ignore it, but if she gets hysterical I go in. Once she sees me it gets worse so i pick her up. I heard you arent supposed to like you said, but shes going crazy. I cant just pat her back b/c she could care less! not sure what to do! I thought about letting her cry, but I dont know how long I should let that carry on… like how long is too long? Anyway, her nights have gotten better but they are by no means good. And there were many times I sat on her floor crying with her saying out loud that I am frustrated with this to my husband. When I read you had that same scenario I started crying b/c I felt your pain. There are some days where she is so cranky b/c shes not napping that its hard to deal with. And I love her so much so I feel bad saying that! She does have very happy times too during the day. I know its a stage and we will all get through it. Thank you for posting your story! I will try what you recommended!

    1. My heart goes out to you! I would encourage you to hire a certified sleep consultant that can support you and make a customized plan since this has been going on for a bit. You will be amazed how a sleep consultant can educate you on sleep to lay a good, kind and healthy sleep plan that works for your daughter.

  95. Hi Ali,
    My son is also the same age as your little one. I also got a sleep consultant at 5 months as he was the same as your daughter. It was the best money I’ve ever spent. He is a completly different baby now. I’m glad you are doing better now. Sleep deprivation is terrible on the body.

  96. What do I do with my 2 yr old??? He wakes once to nurse and is unfortunately stuck in our bedroom(in a crib) until we can change our living situation. Our bedtime routine looks like your “after” routine, so I don’t think that’s the problem. It’s just habit for him by now.

    1. Allison, I would encourage you to hire a sleep consultant. A sleep consultant will help your 2 year feel secure around sleep and be able to go back to sleep if he wakes at night without your help. As a sleep consultant myself, I have helped many parents in your same situation, and it time is the goal is making a 2 year feel safe and secure. Also his nap time and length will also influence the overall nighttime sleep. Hope this helps!

  97. Hi Ali – quick question..when you say you put Molly to bed 3 hours after she wakes from her last nap, do you mean she is asleep in her crib 3 hours later, or you begin her bedtime routine 3 hours later??

    Thanks!!

  98. Sleep training our daughter at 6.5 months was the best thing we’ve ever done. It only took us 3 nights to get her to sleep through the night. When we sleep trained we switched the last feeding to a bottle rather than a nursing session for my own peace of mind. I wanted to know exactly how much she ate so I would know she was not crying from hunger. Our biggest hurdle was keeping her awake to make sure she got a full meal and was awake when we put her down. Glad you’re finally getting some rest mama!

  99. Hey Ali,

    Thanks for tackling such a tough subject. Isn’t it crazy how much of our lives are consumed with thoughts of sleep when babies arrive? My son is just over 6 months old and in order to get any rest we’ve resorted to co-sleeping, but now he moves so much and I *know* he doesn’t need to eat to sleep, but feel so guilty and depleted when I’m tired that it’s so easy to give in and let him latch on.

    I was wondering if in your conversations with Janey the concept of tension increasers/decreasers came up? I tried to start sleep training but it resulted in 90+ minutes of crying ending in throwing up, and 2 additional hours to calm down. Perhaps he was just not ready for it yet…

  100. Hello Ali! Thank you for your post. Same here with my 10 month old son. We started before but there was always something and we paused it. We are back again. Talking to our sleep coach again and will be starting today. He sleeps way better now but wakes up so early (4-4:30am). We’re going to start some changes and hope this can change. One of the big changes we’ll make is the way I leave him now in bed. He’s drowsy but almost asleep. Hard to not to. My coach told me few things to do but what did you do? Any tips? I leave the light on but as soon as he starts nursing he’s already closing his eyes! Thank you!!

    1. Hopefully your sleep coach is helping with naps and feedings during the day. The biggest suggestion is to not nurse right before bed otherwise he will require it between sleep cycles. A feeding schedule is important because he needs enough calories during the day not to wake so early. The naps influence the early wake time as well. The correct bedtime makes it much easier for him to not fall asleep before you lay him down too. Good luck!

  101. Ah! This is amazing! I have two questions regarding your white noise machine 1) do you leave it on all night / during nap 2) what noise machine do you use?

    1. Hi. White noise is used to help a child’s active brain. It should be used for naps and throughout the night. It should never be too loud and only white noise. They can range from $20-$60. Make sure that it plugs in to the wall otherwise you will be replacing batteries all the time. As a pediatric sleep consultant for the last 6 years, I like the Conair for budget friendly reasons or the MacPac which is super easy to use! Hope this helps!

  102. Thank you for sharing! I just had my hubby read your blog too and he responded with “sign us up”. We have a 3 month old who has been sleeping with one 4 hour stretch followed by every two hours. The 4 hour stretch begins at 7ish so by the time I’m going to bed, she’s waking up for the 1st time before her 2 hour stretches begin. The last few nights she’s been doing only 1 hour stretches of sleep. So by 5 am, I’m bringing her into our room to sleep by me and nurse on and off just so I can sleep! So, I know we need to try something else. Right now, she fights nap time even though she needs it tremendously. She will only nap for maybe 30-40 min. maybe 2x per day and will only sleep longer if we are holding her. Obviously this is not condusive to everyday living. I’m wondering…how do you work in the naps when you have things to do throughout the day that involve being out of the house? Are you restricted to what you can get done based on the nap schedule?

    1. Hi. Yes hire a sleep consultant! From experience and research, make sure you hire someone that won’t “sleep train” at 3 months. Your baby isn’t developmentally or physical ready for a set schedule. As sleep consultant can guide you for the next month with laying a good foundation for sleep (feeding schedule and routine) to achieve less crying and short sleeep periods. Then after your babies 4 month check up, the consultant with get you on a more predictable nap, feeding and bedtime schedule. Look for a sleep consultant that fits your budget and works with anyone in the US. Also make sure that the sleep consultant is certified and uses many approaches that fits your parenting choices and goals.

      1. Thank you! I will start researching now to prep for the 4 month-ish mark. Will a baby be able to get his/her regular nap in outside the house once training is finished? Or will we need to be home for nap times every day?

        1. Its usually best to clear your schedule to be home for naps, just to not confuse your baby while learning to establish independent sleep skills and consistency. And afterwards,yes! You will be able to love, get out and not be tied to the house all the time. However, it really is a good idea to be home for the AM nap- it is an important one, usually the strongest, and can set the tone for how the rest of your day goes.

      2. Erin, can you send along your website information. I read somewhere here that WeeSleep recommends cutting feeds at 3 months or so.
        That’s seems so young to me.
        I am happy it worked for Ali, but seems like WeeSleep and it’s Consultants are making dangerous recommendations.
        It’s too bad there is no board that regulates sleep coaches and companies….

        1. Lauren,

          Apparently Janey Reilly, the owner of WeeSleep is a member of some sleep association, or board. Association of professional sleep Consultants, I think?

          I’m looking into it now and if these girls, describing themselves as certified sleep Consultants with no more than a few weeks training and no medical background are actually making dangerous recommendations to sleep deprived families who believe WeeSleep consists of a group of experts, then somebody should report this company for false advertising and report the Owner.
          Shameful.

          1. Somebody has been deleting the comments on this blog, suspiciously all the comments that didn’t give WeeSleep favourable review. I am assuming that is what’s happening, as I went back to look for a comment and it was gone. I’m glad I saw this comment before it was deleted too.
            I won’t be hiring WeeSleep.
            Glad Ali had success, but not for me, no thanks! Any company who deletes negative media attention versus tackling it head on is questionable, and shame on you.

  103. I am a sleep consultant based in LA and this is the exact method I use too 🙂 it works wonders and everyone involved is happier after its done! So glad you got her sleeping through the night 🙂

  104. Yay for Molly and you! You can’t sleep train without being totally ready and the support of a sleep consultant is worth every penny! I am a sleep consultant, Pickles & Ice Cream Sleep Consulting, and I am so happy you wrote about your experience! When your baby is sleeping and feed at the correct times, with the correct method you allow her to be be a happy baby with happy parents! You go girl!

  105. I have a 4 month old and Exclusively pump and bottle feed. She currently eats 6 times a day with her last feeding between 9-10pm… she does sleep through the night. So I haven’t been able to get her to go to bed any earlier. She usually takes a cat nap around 7:30 but wakes back up. Do you have any tips on dropping her last feeding so that she can go to bed a little earlier? We are also trying to transition her to her crib because she still sleeps in a rocking play. Any tips on a smoother transition?

    Thank you!!

  106. Thank you so much for sharing, Ali! I always love to read your blog. This has proved so helpful, as i have a 9 month old daughter who is also the 2 , 30 minute (on the dot) napper and wakes in the night and won’t go back to sleep until she nurses. The only difference is, my daughter pulls to stand up in her crib and will not lay back down until i go in, when i go in to place her laying back down, she screams and screams until i nurse her. Do you have any tips to get her to lay back down on her own without me going into the room at all? She will stand for 2 plus hours in the night until i go in ;( naps are the same. Thats why i always just nurse her to sleep. I did the same thing with the lights low and the sound machine, going to try to switch that up tomorrow!

  107. My daughter is 8.5 months old and it sounds exactly what we’ve been going through! After I was reading your blog I told my husband about it all and we already decided tonight is the first night we need to give this a try. We have renewed faith that she will sleep and be less fussy during the day now! Thank you so so much for giving us insight and for all the tips! We are so happy this worked for you and wish you all the best!! 🙂

  108. Hi Ali –
    Would you be willing to share Molly’s schedule throughout the day, eating and napping times? Thank you!

  109. Hi!! Thank you for this post! I have a 5 month old and she usually wakes about 2 times a night to nurse! She usually does pretty good falling asleep however when her pacifier falls out she can’t soothe herself without me putting it back in. Is that recommended by WeeSleep??

    Thanks!!

  110. Ali, this post really hit home for me. Thank you for sharing your experience! I have an almost ten month old and he also wakes up throughout the night to nurse and usually only takes two 30 minute naps a day (sometimes less!). I’ve been desperately wanting to try sleep training but always wind up chickening out for one reason or another. Reading your story motivates me to put a plan in place and go through with it.

  111. At what age is it likely, if they’re waking during the night, that they’re not actually hungry? My little one is only 5 weeks and wakes twice a night and I’m assuming I should be feeding him. Just curious at what age it becomes more of a soothing issue than a hunger issue.

  112. Weesleep is not even a listed training under the association of professional Sleep, so I am surprised that they can so boldly state they are better trained than the recognized trainers like FSI and IMPI. Isn’t Janey trained by Dana Oblemen which means its just a sleep sense program!

    1. WOW – I will be looking into this Kate!
      Thanks so much.
      I visited the website and admit I am curious about the services being offered, however will be doing much more research now.
      I have heard nothing but good things about FSI and didn’t realize this girls only had a wee at best of training.

      Also, one thing that struck me as odd is the sleep guarantee; 10 days or less, like is it s race?!

    2. I did not state I was better or say WS is better. We all have our own programs, methods and we all learn and grow from each other. I was simply stating what WS program is about and never once put anyone else down. And I never would. As per above I think IMPI and FSI and all other programs are amazing and I would never put another’s professional down. Not my style and those who know me, would agree. I am a passionate sleep professional and have the utmost respect for all other professionals in the industry so please be kind and fair.

      1. Yes you pointed a figure by saying other companies offer 1 hour a week for 3 months!!!!

        That is very unprofessional, we don’t know you and don’t need to. You are public company and if you can’t handle negative comments then man you shouldn’t be holding the position of Regional Director!

  113. We trained our kids (now 16 and 14) by following the BabyWise program- feed, wake, sleep. Both of my babies were sleeping through the night by 4 weeks. When they started to crawl and later walk, they would go to their bedroom doors and stand outside when it was time for bed which was anywhere from 6-7 pm and sleep 12 hours. Children need and thrive on structure and scheduling, not just as infants, but throughout adolescence.

  114. Thank you for posting ! I’ve. Even waiting to hear an update ! We just sleep trained my 5 mo old and I agree it was so worth it. I have a few questions maybe you could make a follow up post?: 1-what was nap training like for you? I am finding that has been harder than nights. 2- do you do a bath every night? We’ve. Even doing every other night but I’m not sure if this confuses my little guy . 3- can I ask what the time schedule is? (I.e. Bed at 6 and up at 6? Do you start the routine at 6 or have her asleep and in the crib by then? 4- do you pump at night now? How do prevent clogged ducts etc. 5- you mentioned the sleep consultant said you should have done something different at 6mo when molly started teething. Can you elaborate?

    Thanks so much again!

  115. This is so incredibly helpful, thank you! My little girl just turned 4 months and we are currently dealing with some sleep regression issues. I will definitely be following your advice on sleep training!!

  116. So wonderful that you had success with sleep training, Ali!

    I love you and your blog.
    Unfortunately, I wish I could say we had the same success with WeeSleep but that was not the case. Our child did nor meet the “sleeping in 10 days or less” guarantee.

  117. What a great feeling!! A sleep trained baby is definitely a happy baby. Both of my kids were sleep trained and sleeping 10-12 hours by 4 months. My 8 month old goes to bed at 7pm and my 3 year old at 7:30-8pm! I’m so thankful for my evenings with my husband and I feel like a great mom and wife when I’m fully rested. Sleep training can be very difficult and looked at negatively, but all the positives definitely outweigh the negatives. My advice is stay strong and stick with it… there will be many bumps in the road (teething, weaning, dropping the paci, etc), but Molly will learn to love sleep. My 3 year old runs to his room everynight for our nightly bedtime routine! 🙂

  118. Thanks for sharing Ali! This is my third baby, I never sleep trained the other two, but in hind sight, wish I had. My second one was a pretty good sleeper. Now, I have two toddlers and an 8 month old, so thinking I really need to sleep train. My question for you is, when you put her down for the night did you just let her cry until she went to sleep or did you (or Kevin) go in and check on her/soothe her at all?? Thanks again for sharing! Really great tips. I am doing the same routine that you were doing….no wonder it isn’t working! 😉

  119. This is great help, especially to know that I’m not alone on this lol My son is 11 months and still doesn’t sleep through the night. He only wakes up once but is putting him to sleep is the problem we have to walk around the house until he does. Most night it doesn’t take that long, but when you also have a 2 1/2 year who goes to sleep on her own it would make things a lot easier for us to have the baby do that too.
    Those were great tips that gave. But if you don’t mind me asking about how much did it cost? Thank you so much for you help.

    Xoxo

  120. Hi Ali,

    Thank you so much for this! In the process of training my 9 month old as well. One question, nightlight or no nightlight?

  121. Sleep coaching was the best thing I ever did! My little ones name is Molly too, and her sleep issues seemed similar to that of your Molly.

    I had a 15 minute call with WeeSleep and it felt very scripted and formal. Decided to go with a sleep tight Consultant, I’ve seen a few people comment about them on here as well.

    So excited you and Jillian had success with sleep Consulting. I wish the big wigs had of offered to help me! Maybe my call would have gone differently ?

    Nonetheless. YAY for sleeping babies

    1. Yes I have heard she trains a lot of people and they help people right after the so called 3 day training. You may have gotten a new consultant. How can anyone work with clients after just 3 days!! People should ask these consultants how many clients they have worked with and how indepth this training is. As I noted I don’t see them being recognized as a trainer so I seriously question this.

  122. We had trouble with our firstborn. I do believe we make it harder on ourselves than it has to be! My first was solely nursed and refused to take a bottle. I would nurse her and rock her to sleep…big NO, NO! As much as I loved it, it had to stop. My second, I breastfed and bottle w breast milk to get accustomed to both. I am also a HUGE proponent of a binkey! Babies want to suck to be soothed! My second, we would just put in the crib, fully awake and he would just lay down and go to sleep! Huge difference! Don’t let your first scare you off having a second…they are so much easier!

  123. How do you modify this stuff for babies that are in the same room as the parents? We don’t have a nursery due to havin two older children and may not have one at all until she’s well over a year old. I worry this is going to make it next to impossible to sleep train!

  124. Hey Ali! How long did molly cry the first night when u left her the first time vs second night, third etc? How often did u go in and check on her? We are really struggling, I’m so weak!!!

  125. Good job! It’s so hard for moms to do this and they think it’s so mean to the baby but it’s not! Their kids are still sleeping with them at age 8 because of it. Worked with both my kids. My son it worked much sooner for. My daughter was a diva and we started at 3 months for both of them. My son had been sleeping through the night every night since the night we started and he’s 5 now!

  126. Hi Ali! I am writing you from Colombia, South america.
    Please sorry for my english!! ?
    I have an 8 months old baby girl…. some nights she wakes up 2 times, some times 4 or 5 ?…. I literally dont sleep….
    I had try sleep trainning with her, but when I have to leave her in her crib and she starts to cry and cry…. omg i cant handle it….. please tell me how did you do that??? Hearing her crying didnt break your heart??…. I know teach her to sleep alone is a gift for her but that moment of leaving her crying… its very very difficult for me

  127. Great job, Ali and Kevin!! ??????Sleep Training is the BEST thing you can do for your baby! Every baby is different and every situation is different, but sleep is crucial for every…single…person…in…the…household!! My children each started sleeping through the night at 10 and 12 weeks with 2 hour naps during the day! It was amazing! My husband said I was a miracle worker, but consistency is the key. My children are now 10 and 6 and still sleep an average of 10-11 hours every night. Sleep truly is the best gift you can give your children….and yourself! 🙂

  128. Thank you so much for this post Ali! I just send it to my husband to read. My baby kd exactly the same age. And I don’t know what is a full night of sleep since she’s born. My baby Charlie is sleeping during the day. But not at night. I’m also breastfeeding so I understand your frustrations. I’m going to try it tomorrow.

  129. I also have a baby girl, 2 weeks younger than yours and mine is also named Molly (such a great name, by the way). We did a sleep training program called Babywise and I swear by it! Very similar concepts to what you described. We started our Molly when she was only a few weeks old and slept 11.5 hours by 12 weeks! We were extremely lucky, and I don’t take that for granted at all. But yes, yes, and yes to your whole post! Thanks for being so real! Mamahood is hard work! (Why didn’t people warn us?! Not that it would change anything.) 😉

  130. Great post! I thought our bedtime routine (similar to yours ) was correct. Time to modify! Also when dif you transition molly out of the merlin magic sleepsuit?
    Thanks!

  131. Hi there, so how many hours is Molly sleeping straight? 12 or less? And if less than 12, do you go in to feed? Our 7 month old was sleeping 10 hours and waking up around 5am. I’d give a quick feeding on one side and he’d fall asleep quick then woke up for the day around 7. I am not sure he’s waking up at 5 because he’s hungry or needs a quick comfort of mom and warm milk. But I don’t want to complain either about the 10 hour stretches, although he has regressed since having a tooth and a cold recently. Will do similar sleep training to get back to 10.

  132. This sleep “training” is a load of bullshit. No wonder so many people have insecure attachments. This is awful advice.

    “Janey allows check-ins throughout the night at different times if the baby doesn’t stop crying. But that all depends on your baby – we were lucky and Molly never needed a check-in because she didn’t cry longer than 10 mins without stopping for at least 10 seconds. That said, sometimes she would cry for over an hour during the night but she would stop and try to self sooth in between so we didn’t go in the comfort her. Sher was comforting herself! And the check-ins are very brief if you do need them (15 seconds) and you never pick the baby up!”.

    Don’t listen to this shit

    1. I think the comments made above by WeeSleep disregarding the design and curriculum of other well recognized sleep consultating programs is shameful. To classify your own training program as “better in quality”, when WeeSleep’s program is not even listed a recognized training program by the APSC or any other association is very insulting to other sleep Consultants who completed those programs.
      FYI @WeeSleep and for everyone else interested; the founder of family sleep Institute has a personal connection with Marc Weissbluth, M.D., he was her sons peds doctor 25+ years ago. She has an amazing base of knowledge and has been helping families for 20+ years. (This information is on the FSI website). On the other hand, Janey Reilly (owner of weesleep) has a background in marketing and her biggest claim to fame is working with Disney online for less tha on year (this information was easily obtained on the internet). She also completed a week long course with Dana Olbeman, from Sleep Sense…and then, by the looks of it, started her own business.
      If you google, you will find this information easily.

      Congrats on helping Al though, WeeSleep.

      1. I agree with the comment about weesleep’s shameful self-promotion.

        Do your research before relying on this poor advice. There is no evidence to back up the claims made in this blog on self-soothing. If you are interested in scientific/evidence-based knowledge, check out Gaber Maté and Gordon Neufield’s work here: https://drgabormate.com/book/hold-on-to-your-kids/

        I challenge the writer of this blog to share with us the real reasons for posting this non-sense.

        1. Likely a trade off for WeeSleep helping her for free.
          Just my option, but why do any celebrities promote things? It’s a no brainer.

  133. Hi!
    I am so thankful I read this post yesterday! My baby girl has been sleeping through the night by chance since she was 2.5 months old, she is now creeping up on 4 months and last night she woke up in the middle of night for the first time since then. I remembered to try and let her self soothe for up to 10 minutes so I stared at my clock and monitor and by 7 minutes she sucked her thumb to sleep. I felt a bit guilty but she then went on to sleep until 7:00 am as per usual and was very happy to see me in the morning. Two days ago I would have hopped out of bed in one second to give her her soother or snuggle! Sending my husband over to the blog as we speak!
    Thanks
    Kara

  134. Wow Catherine! I just looked Janey has only been doing this for less than 7 years and to state she offers better training than FSI and IMPI is VERY shameful! I can respect she helped Ali and she does have 7 years experience but to boldly state her new consultants are as equally trained is very false!
    She should be reported to the association. A Regional Director should have ethical standards and respect for fellow consultants.

    1. I never once said I offered a better training nor would I. I simply said there are so many different trainings and its a personal choice. This “attack” is actually very unfair and hurtful to say the least. Nor appropriate…

      1. Janey, you are a company and this is a public forum. You made a bold statement like this
        “WeeSleep consultants not only have a full 3 day training, they have full ongoing mentoring and coaching ongoing. Trainings, courses and one one- one sessions – their coaching and training is endless where as others are say 1 hour a week for 3 months and all they correspondence. It’s a personal choice for all but WeeSleep is in fact Highly trained and the Founder is the Director of Canada for the Association Of Professional Sleep consultants”

        You are VERY clearly stating “others” have 1 hour a week for 3 months. MAYBE as a Regional Director of a Prestigious Association you should be careful of what you say!

        You don’t point a figure a specific program instead you point a finger at all other programs other than your individual built program!

        If you are a professional learn to take criticism.

  135. Thank you for posting this! My daughter is 18 months old (yes, 18!) and still does not sleep through the night. I realize I should’ve done something a long time ago but I just thought it would get better. So I will definitely be trying this. Thank you thank you!

  136. Ali!!! I’ve been waiting and waiting to see how sleep training worked for u! My daughter is 8 months and is excusley breastfeed… has been waking up 2-3 times a night and just won’t le me out her down… I didn’t nurse her though when she’d wake up, I’d just rock her back to sleep and continued on… but I’m exhausted, had a meltdown myself and knew it was time we did somwthing!!! After reading your blog yesterday I took one small thing away ( I mean I took lots more from it but wanted to try this 1st) from it and it was to nurse with lights on… night one down and it has seemed to work!! She was put in crib at 8pm after being nursed and read 2 books to, it took her 49 long mins of crying (and mom too) but she fell asleep and I couldn’t beliege it!! She was up 3 times but put herself back. She woke up this morning at 730 and was soooooo happy!! Thank u for your post. I just put her in for her nap and in 10 mins she was OUT!! Is this magic???

  137. Hi Ali! Your post inspired me to start sleep training my five month old today. She sleeps 12 hours through the night, which is awesome… But, she is not a good daytime napper. I just tried putting her down in her crib and she screamed for 40 minutes, and then fell asleep for only 20 minutes . Did the sleep training coach say how long an adequate nap is? Is 20 minutes enough, or should I let her cry more until she falls asleep again and takes a longer nap? I need help!

  138. This is such insightful information to have! My boys is almost 6 months and only sleeps for 2 hour stretches at a time, if we’re lucky!
    Did Molly have a pacifier she needed to sleep with? I’d love to try your methods but I worry about how upset he gets when it falls out of his mouth – if we keep having to go into his room to replace it (he’s next to me in a bassinet now so it’s no big deal) would that set us back with all the work we’ve put in?

  139. Ali! I’m so glad you guys finally did this. I always felt so terrible when you would say how exhausted you were. My daughter was born July 3rd, 2016 (still not crawling-but can army crawl lightning fast!) and we sleep trained her at 6 months. She always did well overnight even without sleep training, but it completely changed her naps as you said. We did it all on our own since we couldn’t afford a coach-but with a lot of research! The only thing that I sometimes wish I could change is that since doing this, she’s not a good nap on the go kind of baby. She’ll only nap 45 min. at the most in the car or stroller. I think she just got so used to her crib and since she flips over on her tummy, everything else isn’t as comfortable. I know! I know! I should be so grateful for having a baby with an easy temperament that sleeps so well, but I always feel like I’m rushing to get home for her second nap now! And now since summer in Chicago is nearing, I’m so excited to be out and about with her, but she goes to bed between 6-6:30pm so I feel like we won’t get many chances to be outside of the house for an entire day. Of course, her needs are more important! Just something I’ve been thinking about lately!

    1. She’s also exclusively breastfed! Can’t believe we’ve almost made it to the year! And yes, fed is best, but breastfeeding is NOT easy. I feel like we deserve a little more credit for our sacrifices. You should be so proud!

    2. I’m having the same exact issue right now! My baby (born 6/27/16) can not sleep anywhere but his crib at home! Tried a spring break trip to my sisters house..nightmare! And I had researched tips etc and I know he just wanted his crib. But he cannot fall asleep in my arms, stroller or pack n play! Guess that’s the down side to sleep training nobody mentions…you definitely don’t have a go with the flow baby when they’re sleep trained..and I have an older daughter so my baby is stuck in the car at times cause that’s our reality, and he has literally screamed over an hour cause he wants his crib! 🙁 Tonight my daughter had an event so we missed 7pm bedtime and I’m paying for it hearing him scream. Just a constant battle!

      1. It must be so much more difficult when you have another child and like you said reality is they can’t always sleep in their crib! Yesterday my daughter took a nap in my happy wrap! I hadn’t tried it in a while, but we’re going on vacation next month and I figured I’d need to find a way to get her to used to sleeping elsewhere before then. It worked.. although I had to wake her after 45 minutes to put her back in the car :/ I plan to take her dockatot-we have the grand-with us to Cancun in hopes that she’ll sleep in it overnight since it’s something familiar and she has taken naps in there before. I hope it works!

  140. We tried a lot of the traditional sleep training methods but they just don’t work. I had like the worst sleeper in the history of babies so I was desperate and exhausted. When my son turned 4 months I’ve heard a lot about guide “How to teach a baby to fall asleep alone” by Susan Urban (I’ve found it here: http://www.parental-love.com ). What convinced me to get it was the fact that the guide presents a method without CIO and that it’s short. In an hour I knew how to deal with the problem.

    After a few days my son was able to fall sleep on his own (before only rocking), he stopped waking up every hour to eat at night and he started to nap longer (before he only slept for 15 minutes and that was it). So the method seems to works on anything related to sleeping. It made my life much easier and made me happy and well rested parent.

    I really do think that teaching babies to fall asleep on their own is life changing!

    1. I followed the same guide and it was like a miracle! Great method with clear and easy instructions on what to do and how to do, I highly recommend!

    2. Anna, you are my hero! <3 I think that the best is experience when we learn to read the sleep cues from our baby, but sometimes we need a little bit of help. I bought Susan's ebook 'How make a baby to fall asleep alone", also How create order in youre child's room" few months ago. After labor, I was alone all the time, because my husband is a sailor, and he works like 3 months on the ship, 2 break at home, again 3 months on the ship and that over and over again.. I was trying to put my little boy (13 Month) to sleep by going thru bedtime ritual which include bath, milk, book…then I was putting Matty in his cot awake and sit by the cot. He was getting up and stand in the cot, then I was putting him down and we were "wrestle" like that for 45 mins EVERY SINGLE DAY! And I was questioning myself am I doing the right thing? Will I make my baby be sleeping?

      But, I read here Anna's comment about Susn's guide and I thought what I have to lose? And I bought it on amazon 😀 The whole point is about HWL method (hold with love, more is on blog https://www.parental-love.com/tips/). All methods are easy, fast, and not harmful for babies. So, if you need some help, it's worth it 😉

      1. being not-harmful was what convinced me to this method at first place. I purchased the book at 3mo and it was the perfect timing. we were co-sleeping and I wanted to stop this at some point and this method was the great solution. we had some time for setting up the routine and bang – the big change happened almost harmlessly! just 3 night of moping (not even exactly crying I’d say) and done. I highly recommend this method but take your time to prepare and be consistent!

          1. I also used the one about breastfeeding – that was extremely helpful. But still this sleep straining is my favorite because it really changed my life!

          2. Is the one with potty training working? I remember being very satisfied with Susan’s method sleep training effects – easy, fast and harmless. Now I am thinking about buying next guides!

          3. Oh my God! I didnt know that I would help you like that! I never write comments, but this was an impulse. Im very happy that I have helped you, although Im surprised that there are mothers who dont know guides from Susan Urban.. All my friends and colleagues collect them 😀 We make small, cute books out of them 😉 But seriously, I have all the guides and I have learned a lot from each and I have done a lot of good for my children. Potty training is really good also. Remember to always watch your children because each of them is different and you have to adjust your knowledge accordingly! Regards!

          4. I can confirm that it lasted a little longer for me, 14 days, but I must admit that this guide works well. Before the time I bought it, my little son woke up at night every 3 hours. We also used the CIO, which left a nightmare remorse .. I read in the comments on one blog about Susan and her ebooks, a mother described exactly the situation in which I was. That was enough, I bought a guide about sleeping and started applying advice. it worked like a spell 🙂 Regards and good luck to other Mamom

          5. I also used this method to stop bed-sharing. It worked fine, I wish I had it sooner. First attempts failed hard. So what other guides do you have and use? What should I buy as well?

          6. @Ellie I have ‘how to make breastfeeding’,’how to create order in youre child’s room’ and about sleep training . Now I will buy ‘How to introduce solid foods to your baby’ for sure because I want to start healthy life style. You should definitely buy one ‘how teach a baby to fall asleep alone’. Share about guide with your friends, because it’s a pity that Moms are so tired sometimes. Regards!

          7. Yes, I can also recommend how to teach a baby to fall asleep alone. This ebook disproves the myth that it’s normal for children to wake up every few hours. NOT AT ALL. With my first son I went through the stage of waking up every 3 hours, but with the second son I began to train his sleep. My little son after 9 days of using only and the same routine and a few other tricks slept alone in his bed. I see a significant difference in their development and personality.

      2. Susan’s tutorials are the best in the world! Only HWL, not CIO or other harmful things for children! I have all guides from Susan 🙂 forewarned is forearmed: D

        1. Hi girls, I’m also a huge fan of Susan’ guides. And there is the news – no need printing out sleep training guide anymore – the is a paper version. I just got if as a gift for my little sister 🙂

          1. Paper version? That’s so cool! But only the sleep training guide or all? I also used the breastfeeding and we’re starting using the food one too. Susan is the best!

        2. I just purchased Susan’s book and cannot stop reading all those positive comments! Fingers crossed for me girls!

      3. Wrestling is a good name for that we were doing before sleep training. Thank God for Susan’s audiobook! HWL is the best!

  141. I’ve already bookmarked this post and the website has an option for before you have a baby which I’m gonna try, assuming we get pregnant next month with IVF

  142. This post totally spoke to me!! It was me!! I have 6 month old twin boys and was EXHAUSTED! I’d maybe get two 30 minute naps out of them during the day and constant wake ups in the night … I felt so guilty wanting to sleep train them because of all the negativity surrounding the topic but my babies were also extremely exhausted and I was at a loss of what to do for them. I also felt the exact same way as you and would think I must somehow have two super high maintence babies, but I didn’t. Just two very overtired babies! Sleep training is a must, and not just for us mamas…. four our babies too …. love this post Ali! And little Molly is gorgeous 🙂

  143. Our son turned 3 in January, and we have been sleep deprived since day 1 🙁 I think in total, we had a handful of ‘peaceful’ nights without him waking up screaming and having one of us go into his room. At this point, it isn’t even about him not falling asleep alone (b/c he does that fine), but rather about him not waking up in the middle of the night. If it wasn’t teething, then it was baby nightmares (per my doc)…always something. I feel like we’ve tried everything and nothing has helped and that is how I find myself sleep deprived and tired after 3 years. Friends and family ask when baby #2 is coming and I can’t make enough excuses w/o sounding like a terrible person for being scared of having another non-sleeper (b/c he has never slept good at night or day…). I’m glad to read that this sort of a thing worked for others- consider yourselves lucky! I think my son is too old (and smart) now to for this.

  144. What is considered sleeping through the night? My 6 month old sleeps from about 10:00pm-7:00am. I’m afraid to put her down any earlier because I assume she’ll be up earlier.

  145. Ok, I feel terrible writing this but I laughed out loud at the part where you wrote that both you and your baby were both crying loudly in the kitchen. WHY?? because I did the same thing so many years ago with my son when he was 4 months old, I was not sleeping, he wasn’t sleeping and he was my 2nd boy so I was also tending to my older son during the day. I was exhausted and that good long cry, ugly cry, felt so good. Then I was able to clear my head and get down to business. (after a good nap, though). My sons are now ages 26 and 18 years of age. My younger boy always got up with the roosters, (an expression–we don’t have roosters), until he was school age. One day, when she is a teenager and all she wants to do is sleep, you will remember the sleep struggles! Good luck!

  146. Hey Ali! Did Molly ever stand up in her crib and cry? As soon as I put my little one down she immediately stands up and screams for me. Help!

  147. Okay this might be a stupid question, but how do you know if your baby is waking because he needs his diaper changed?!
    My baby usually wakes 2 times a night. More usual than not, his diaper is super heavy.
    So I would just feel bad if he woke for that and I didn’t do anything to help him.
    Anyone have advice on that?

  148. Hi Ali!
    I am about to start sleep training with my daughter & I have read through your post about 100 times at this point! We have had a bedtime routine however I have definitely made some changes since reading your post,including the earlier bedtime, so thank you! Can I ask what worked for you when Molly woke up during the night? That’s become a struggle and I’m at a loss with what to do! I have chatted with a sleep consultant who has provided great info about naps.
    Thank you!!
    Courtney

  149. This is shockingly bad advice. Do people reading this blog actually buy this?

    Advising new parents not to pick up their baby to comfort him/her when crying during the night is ridiculously poor advice. A nine-month old is supposed to learn self-soothing? Do you realize how ridiculously unrealistic and harsh that is?

    This entire marketing gimmick lacks evidence-based practice, sounds like a money-making scheme and a bad excuse to justifying not getting up, ignoring an unmet need of your baby(whatever that is in the situation). This is not parenting, it is neglecting your child.

    1. Comments like this made myself hold off on sleep coaching, making my PPD worse and almost destroying who I was! Each person has a choice and needs to what’s best for them. NO ONE should try to make someone else feel that they are being a bad mom by neglecting their child because they don’t agree with their choice to sleep coach. PERSPECTIVE people. Words have power! When someone in in a hightened emotion state becarful what you say, it could have a very negative impact.

  150. Ali,

    I love your blogs. I am not a mom yet, but I have been a babysitter and part time nanny for several years now. I have always been great with babies! I would love to check out how to become a sleep consultant. I believe that would be a great path. How do I contact weesleep to let them know if they ever hire?

    1. You should look at FSI and IMPI they are great courses! WeeSleep is not a recognized training plus it’s a franchise. I spoke to janey regarding training and it’s 7k ridiculous plus a loyalty fee makes sense why they charge so much for their plans! I signed up with FSI love the course.

  151. Just a correction. As a formula mama since 6 months… we don’t like to see such absolute statements about our kiddos sleeping longer because they’re formula fed because it’s actually a myth 🙂 I actually feel the fat layer in breast milk fills their bellies, keeps them fuller longer, and they have a better potential to sleep longer. My SIL kids were both exclusively breastfed and both slept through the night. Her breastmilk next to mine in the fridge was night and day. Mine was completely white with no fatty layer, hers a yellow with a thick fat layer. She also had girls, and I had a boy and supposedly the milk content you make is different for boys vs girls (girls needing more fat, boys needing more protein). Here’s something from a better source.

    “Before you get your hopes up for a good night’s sleep, however, remember that every baby is different. Jatinder Bhatia, chief of neonatology at Georgia Health Sciences University and spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics, explains that each baby has his own unique caloric needs, personality, and sleep patterns. As a result, some formula-fed babies feed – and wake – just as often as breastfed babies.

    “My older son was exclusively formula-fed, and he woke up on the identical schedule that my exclusively breastfed baby did,” says one BabyCenter mom.

  152. Ali Thank you posting this! Our baby girl is also EBF and nearly 9 months old, was sleeping ok at night and horrible during the day … a no nap baby!! We previously sleep trained but over the last few days tweaked our routine a bit following what worked for you and molly. We had success!!! 11 hours over night of deep sleep and two 1.5 hr naps!!!! I can’t remember the last time she slept this well! So thankful!!!!

  153. We are in a bit of a pickle over here with our 6 mont old. We let him cry it out using a pretty similar method when he was 5 months. He started sleeping through the night and taking two hour naps during the day as well. Now at 6 months he has started to roll over onto his belly as soon as we put him down at night. It wakes him up and makes him mad, but for whatever reason he WILL NOT roll back over onto his back. The problem being, he’s so overtired from waking up every 20 minutes in the night doing this that he’s now back to napping 30 minutes. HE IS SO TIRED. Any guidance on whether we should stick to our guns during nap time too, or help him get some sleep during the day and let him self soothe at night? I feel like during both is torture to him, but I’m not sure what else is going to work!!

  154. Hey Ali! Thanks so much for posting this. After reading your blog, I reached out to Cara from WeeSleep and booked her in for May! So excited because my son seems to be the exact same way Molly was (fussy, clingy, etc.) and I just want him to be happy! I hope all works out for us.

  155. Thank you for sharing! I’m so glad to hear that another baby (Molly) who only took 30 minutes cat naps now is a good napper, it’s giving me hope as my daughter is currently a frequent cat napper. Took your vote of encouragement and after just one night my daughter went from feeding 2-3 times to just once! A great first step for us.
    Question: Does Molly fuss at all before falling asleep? My daughter doesn’t at bedtime but (again) naps are a challenge, she often cries for 15-25 minutes before falling asleep (for only 30 minutes).

  156. Thank you so much for posting this! It gave me the confidence boost I needed to get my 7 month old out of her rock and play! I made some of your routine changes and they really helped. I would have never thought to wait to turn on sound machine until I was ready to leave the room or to read her books AFTER she nursed! Wish I would have had this info with my first child!

  157. Thanks so much for this post! I have a soon to be 9monh old and his sleeping routine is going wacky. He wakes up 3-4 times at night and I’m at the point where I don’t know what to do to help him. This was sooo helpful! Not everyone shares there tips and tricks in depth. Thanks again 🙂

  158. I’m so happy that you all are sleeping! I am so blessed to have a MIL who has a lot of experience with sleep training and helped me sleep train my two kiddos. I almost feel guilty telling other parents how well my babies sleep, but it really makes having kids so much more enjoyable. Best of luck to you and your sweet family as you move forward with sleep training!

  159. Thanks so much for sharing your experience! This is exactly what I needed. My little lady is 9.5 months and I’m at the same breaking point you were. We may need to get in touch with Wee sleep. ?

  160. What is Molly’s nap schedule? How many hours does she sleep during the day? I just wished my 24 week old would sleep a little bit longer during the night. (on average 10.5 hours during the night). I’m wondering how long she should sleep during the day.

  161. Okay wow I might be the last person on earth to read this! But as with all the other posts- this is relieving for me. I typically don’t trust others suggestions because I feel the people aren’t parenting like I am- exclusive BF and full time caring for their own baby because I’m not ready for someone else to.. thank you for sharing and relating on that level. I am terrified but I think I will work on trying this, my baby girl just turned 9 mo this week. I just need help not running to her when I feel like she “needs” me, it’s heartbreaking for me!

  162. My daughter Olivia was actually born the same day as Molly – July 6th 🙂 We did sleep training with her at 6 months and saw a huge improvement in her nighttime sleeping right away. I was having the same issues as you were – frequent night wakings and often after 2 hours…I was exhausted!! I basically had a breakdown and decided to give it a try – halleluiah, it worked! However, we still don’t have a great nap schedule…some days none at all. After reading your blog post I am going to tweak some things and see if we can get some regular naps going. Our baby girl is so happy and sleeps like a champ at night, but she can get fussy by the time supper rolls around and she has had little sleep all day.

    I wouldn’t worry too much about your supply unless Molly seems frustrated that she’s not getting enough. I was pumping at 5am when Olivia started sleeping 11-12 hours. The engorgement was painful and I was worried about losing my supply. However, I realized I was going to continue telling my body there was a “demand” for milk at that time, and I would be creating a need to wake early to pump. Once I gave up the pumping, my body adjusted to being able to wait until she wakes at 7am, and I haven’t had any issues with supply. I get where you’re coming from – we’ve made it this far, and we don’t want to mess with things now! My goal is also to make it to at least a year. At that point, I hope we may be able to continue nursing before bedtime, but we will see how it goes.

    Great post, thanks for sharing!!

  163. Two weeks ago my daughter turned 7 months. After all these months of nursing her to sleep I just had enough! I purchased the Susan Urban’s guide ( How to teach a baby to fall asleep alone ) like Anna and Kim suggested and I am happy to say it has worked for us! Thank you girls!

  164. To all the ladies that were treated badly by WeeSleep, Janey Reilly is no longer the Regional Director of the Association of Sleep (APSC.)
    WeeSleep is overpriced, unprofessional and has no respect for the other sleep consultants in the industry.
    Ali’s blog is great but there are some amazing sleep consultants out there who have much better training than WeeSleep – They are not recognized by the Association!

  165. I never once used sleep training, breast fed on my glider until my son was almost asleep and put him in his crib. He was sleeping from 10-5 by 4 weeks old. No white noise, no lights either. The later I put him to sleep, the later he woke in the morning. I gave him a snack at 9 and his last feeding at 11. He would get up 11 the next morning by 6 months old. I also fed my son cereal at 10 days old, fruit at 4 weeks and vegetables by 12 weeks. I think it is crazy for kids to starve until they are 4 months old. By 5 months he was eating mashed potatoes, orzo, etc.

  166. Thanks for your post Ali! I heard Kevin mention it on the radio today. I can see some errors in my bedtime routine so I’m going to tweak it and I guess (after the holiday 😉 dive head first into sleep training. P.S. I get crazy and ball too sometimes, glad I’m not the only one.

  167. So so grateful for your post! I get up and nurse my 8 month old 3-4 times a night and I’m exhausted. I tried the new bedtime routine for the first time tonight and she put herself to sleep in 10 minutes!!

    What’s your routine for nap times? Up until this point I’ve been nursing to sleep every nap and I would love to break the habit.

  168. This is so encouraging! I have an 11 month old who is also exclusively breastfed and I’m trying to drop the early morning feed…she sleeps from about 8 pm-4/5am. At that time it’s cry cry cry until I nurse…then it’s back to bed for 2-3 hours. She eats lots of solids so I feel like she is just conditioned to wake to eat at that time rather than actually hungry. Any advice moms??!! The hard part is I’ve tried soothing her every other way but all of that only seems to make it worse!

  169. “How to teach a baby to fall asleep alone” ebook by Susan Urban ROCKS! I did not have time to read 100 pages about how to teach my daughter to sleep properly and tirned out that this guide is different! a few pages with only useful info! Leads you step by step since the day your baby is born! Great stuff!
    Thanks Anna for mentioning this guide and the website where to get it!

  170. I’m definitely going to try some of these tricks! Our baby is almost 10 months old and is also exclusively breastfed. She typically wakes once at night for a feeding (around 4 or 5 am) though lately she has been waking around 2ish and just wants to play! Usually a binky/tummy rub will get her back to sleep in a few minutes. I’m not QUITE at my breaking point but I’m getting close and want to implement something that works before I get there!

    One of my biggest questions for you is when did you move Molly into her nursery? We still room share (have her crib next to my side of our bed) and sometimes I will just snuggle with her/cosleep for a few hours after she eats and before she wakes around 7am.

    Last night for example, she woke around 2:30am. She pulled herself up in her crib and was trying to get my attention. I fed her and then it was playtime! I tried laying her next to me but nope, she just wanted to talk and talk before finally falling asleep a bit after 3:30am. She did sleep from that point until waking at 7am (no early morning feeding).

    I’m curious if because she knows we are there (and recently started crawling so she has a new found mobility) she is waking simply for comfort and for our attention. Versus if we transitioned her into her nursery she wouldn’t wake expecting that.

    Also, she does NOT go down easily at night. I had finally got her to soothe herself to sleep and once she figured out how to sit up on her own (and shortly thereafter, crawl) she just wants to move and play. It takes anywhere from 20-30 mins to 2 hours to get her down for a nap or bedtime. And on many days she only takes 3 30 minute catnaps! Some days she takes one longer, 90 minute nap, but I KNOW she needs more! We are averaging about 11 hours at night and less than 2 hours of naps during the day.

    Thoughts anyone? Any suggestions?

  171. Hey! I read this Blog and it was the same situation we were dealing with for our 9 Month old boy. We started the same bedtime and nap routine that you were doing. I was shocked on Day 3 how easy he went to sleep both for naps and bedtime 15 mins or less and would go to sleep on his own! I couldn’t believe it. Fast forward to week 2 and I have no idea what changed but he is refusing naps, he will just sit in there for an hour and occasionally whimper and then I try after another hour etc.. Bedtime he used to sleep through the night and now wakes up several times. I am just so confused of what changed! we are following the same routine but he refuses to go down for naps. I use to nurse him to sleep before sleep training and so now the only time he will be close to falling asleep is during feeds even though the lights are on and I’m trying to keep him awake. Any suggestions would be great!

  172. LORD give me strength finally starting sleep training my one year old tonight. Unfortunately, I don’t have the kid that will start to soothe within ten minutes. We have to just try extinction and not going in for longer periods. Strength mamas!

  173. We are starting sleep training with our 4 and 1/2 year old Ivy tomorrow night. I am so nervous but reading your blog post gives me hope! Ivy is also a 30 minute napped (usually 3 a day) so I can’t imagine a 2 hour nap! Fingers crossed it works and I don’t go absolutely crazy listening to her cry.

  174. Ali, thanks for sharing your story! I love your perspectives and always appreciate your honesty. We are in the process of researching different sleep training techniques to use with our 10 month old sweet baby girlc, and I hve a feeling I am going to need some serious help. Did you do the Virtual Speedy Sleep 911 package through Weesleep? Or was your program more involved?

    Thanks, Ali!

  175. http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/24/health/cry-it-out-sleep-training-ok/index.html

    We did something similar to Ali’s routine and it has helped with sleeping a lot. The first night trying this, our son only woke up twice in a 12 hour period instead of 4-5 times. For his nap he was out in less than 5 minutes and slept for an hour as oppose to his normal 15/20 minute catnap. Sleep is so important to development. It’s important for each parent to find a routine that works for them. They shouldn’t be judged on how they choose to sleep train their own child.

  176. Hi Ali, I remember reading this as I was 8 months pregnant, my baby boy was born exactly 1 month later 🙂
    I am in such desperate need of sleep right now that I thought I’d look this old post up to find some inspiration/hope. Let me start by saying that up to the 5 month mark Leo has been an amazing sleeper. Apart from the very beginning when he’d nurse ever couple of hours, he started very early to sleep almost all night long, waking up once to nurse, occasionally even sleeping through the night. Also, he was sleeping in his crib without a problem – at least at night, cause during the day he’d nap but only in someone’s arms.. as soon as you’d put him in bed he’d wake io (or sleep for a few more minutes for a total of 30ish mins between falling asleep being held and being placed in bed as opppsed to being held for the whole time, in which case he’d sleep for well over 1 hour, sometimes even 2) . Still, I was happy thinking ok, I have to hold him during the day but that’s ok, cos then he sleeps at night so I am fine with that.
    Then everything changed around the time he turned 5 months.. the pediatrician said he wasn’t getting enough calories from my milk anymore and that we should start on solids, which we did.. but that didn’t improve the situation and we are now waking up 4-5-6 Times a night, mainly just to nurse 😩 meaning that he starts nursing, falls asleep a few minutes later but then won’t let me put him back to bed as he keeps waking up. I need help! And sleep! Thank you for sharing your story, gives me hope 🙂

  177. 9 months?! Omg, you must have been exhausted! Glad I did it earlier! My friend advised me to start sleep training at 4th month and so I did. Got prepared even sooner. I knew I didn’t want to try anything Cry it out related. Fortunately found this amazing guide: https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=susan+urban+guide+in+a+nutshell and followed the steps. In 5 nights – problem solved! Later I applied the routine for the naps as well and since the month 5 I am much happier mum 😉 It’s not 12 hours yet but we will get there soon!

  178. I am sleep consultant as well as provide baby healthy sleep solutions. Sleep is one of the biggest causes of concern for parents and whilst in some cases the issues being experienced at night might just ‘go away’, in a lot of cases the issue doesn’t go away on its own so seeking help is necessary. Sometimes the issue can be fixed within a couple of nights with just a couple of very small changes to routine or even the sleep environment. In other cases, it can take 2-3 weeks to see changes…….it all comes down to the issue, the child and the parent sticking to the plan. so, it’s necessary to seek advice from someone you feel comfortable with.
    https://sleepystarz.com/

  179. I am sleep consultant as well as provide baby healthy sleep solutions. Sleep is one of the biggest causes of concern for parents and whilst in some cases the issues being experienced at night might just ‘go away’, in a lot of cases the issue doesn’t go away on its own so seeking help is necessary. Sometimes the issue can be fixed within a couple of nights with just a couple of very small changes to routine or even the sleep environment. In other cases, it can take 2-3 weeks to see changes…….it all comes down to the issue, the child and the parent sticking to the plan. so, it’s necessary to seek advice from someone you feel comfortable with. we have the best solution for your toddler.

  180. Ali, I’m soo glad you shared your experience. I’m a sleep consultant and there’s such a huge misconception about what sleep training is and how it will affect your baby. It’s a process and I’ve found although it may be rough initially for parents, in the end its’s totally worth it!

  181. When’she woke up first few night. Did she get fed? Or pacifier?

    Our bedtime routine is similar to yours and will do a tweak base on what weesleep suggested

    Thanks so much for sharing

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