This past weekend we needed a chance to unwind. So we decided to do a family day at the park with our dear friends Stef and Moses and their little ones. Stef is my closest friend and will be a bridesmaid at our wedding! So it’s always nice to spend time with them. Especially now that we both have kiddos! I can’t wait until they are old enough to play together. All that said, our friendship has certainly changed now that we are both moms.
It’s so weird to me that we are both moms. I mean Stef has been a mom for over 3 years now so it shouldn’t seem to weird to me that she’s a mommy, but I guess it does now that I am too. I look at that group shot of all of us below and think – when did that happen? We used to day drink by the beach in San Diego and spend all day working on our tans. Now we try our hardest to have a normal conversation even though one eye and one ear are always on our kiddos. Do you other parents ever notice that? That it’s almost impossible to have a focused conversation with another parent because they are never fully paying attention to you and you can’t fully focus on them because you have to be hyper aware of what’s going on with your child?
I know I personally have a hard time being present in conversations and in my friends lives in general. It’s been months since I’m seen some of my close friends. And most of those friends who I haven’t seen don’t have children. And it’s not because we haven’t tried to get together. We have! In ways it’s hard to relate to each other when life is so different for parents and non parents. I still love them just the same. It just hard to explain to them why I can’t be there for them in the ways I used to now that I have this little human to care for. I dunno. It makes me sad sometimes. I guess part of growing up and becoming a parent is growing apart in some ways. Your time isn’t your own anymore. And you only have minimal time to give to your friendships now that most of your time goes to your newest BFF – your child.
But some friendships get stronger after becoming a parent (both with friends who have kids and those who don’t) because of your limited time. You only have time for the people who you really care about and who really care about you. My friendship with Stef is one of those friendships that has grown stronger. We are closer than ever. We can relate on the shared experience of motherhood now and it’s really nice, but also because we MAKE time for each other regardless of the kiddos.
And our day in the park was just perfect. I mentioned in a previous blog post that little Miss Molly just loves to be out and about. When we are inside most of the day she tends to get really fussy. This girl needs some outside stimulation! So days at the park (in a nursing friendly outfit of course!) are becoming a regular thing for us and it was so great to be joined by my bestie and her family!
Have your friendships changed after becoming a parent?