Jubilee – My relationship with her is…well…complicated.

Lauren B and Ben are obviously the cutest. At one point he says, “This is what I would want my first date with my wife to be like.” By saying that, he is certainly dropping us a huge hint that she is a frontrunner in his mind, maybe even the one he thinks he’ll end up with.

We see Calia break down while Ben is on his date with  Lauren B and I totally understand where she is coming from. I know that many of you probably think, “well, she knew what she was signing herself up for” and I couldn’t disagree more. In fact, I would argue that she had NO IDEA what she signed herself up for. The majority of people who go on the show don’t go on actually thinking they will find love. The contestants usually go on thinking it will be an really fun experience. But then what happens is people are shocked when they do actually start falling in love, and the reality that you are falling for a guy that multiple other women are falling for really starts to set in. And this realization is especially hard when you get the first 1-on-1 date. I got the first date on my season of The Bachelor and I remember feeling special and feeling like I was the only girl that The Bachelor had really connected with. But then as I saw other girls come home giddy from their dates, it crushed me. It’s hard to explain but really something you can’t understand unless you’ve been through it.

I have a love/hate relationship with Jubilee this week. Let’s start with her dinner convo with Ben where she opened up about her loss. It was heartbreaking, honest and real. Normally, dinner convo’s on this show are all “What are you looking for in a husband? Do you want kids?” Weird stuff that you would normally never talk about on a first or second date. Not that you would normally talk about heavy emotional stuff either on a normal first date, but at least it was real and not just a topic the show wants you to awkwardly discuss. That said, come of her behavior was disturbing. There is nothing I hate more than when a girl says “I don’t get along with girls.” WHAT?!?! So you don’t get like or get along with yourself? I am sick of women acting like it’s such a chore to get along with other women. Like we are so complicated that we can’t even understand each other. It’s one thing to say, I tend to hang with the boys more. But to say that you don’t get along with girls at all, I’m just not cool with that. When do we ever hear guys say “I just don’t get along with other dudes.” The answer – we don’t hear them say that. 

Ok, now I’m back to defending Jubilee (I told you – love/hate relationship. Ha!). It really upset me how worked up the girls were getting about her giving Ben a back massage. On any other rose ceremony night, I would get it, but not at this rose ceremony. That night was BIGGER than the show to Ben and everyone should have put their feelings to the side and focused on his feelings. Something somewhat similar happened during my season of the Bachelor. Not similar in the way you think, but similar in the fact that big real life issues became more important than what was happening on the show. One of the girls my season (Rozalyn Pappa) hooked up with on of the producers, and that producer lost his job. Many of the girls that night (not my cool friends obvi) were crying for Jake and saying how unfair it was for Jake. I remember thinking “WTF – what about the man who just lost his job?!?” What about the REAL LIFE pain he is now going through.” Jake didn’t even know Rozalyn so it just wasn’t the real issues that night in my mind. That’s kind of how I feel about what Ben’s going through. His REAL LIFE, heartbreaking situation should be all that matters. Not stupid one-on-one time during a rose ceremony. And news flash – the few minutes you get at the rose ceremony are not going to be the difference between staying and leaving. Trust me.

Ben didn’t seem too upset about Lace leaving. But her decision and reasoning to leave was the most sane and mature thing she said all season.

Overall, I felt so stressed last night after watching the show. Between Ben’s loss and all the drama with the girls, it was just a lot to take in. I can’t imagine what it must be like for Ben to handle, but he seems to be doing a great job of taking it all  in stride. Good luck Ben! No really, I feel like you’re going to need it.

That’s all from me! Until next time…

xoxo Ali

Thoughts

29 thoughts on “Jubilee – My relationship with her is…well…complicated.

  1. There are certain aspects of Jubilee’s personality that I really related to last night. Jubilee is strong and independent as am I. From experience I have learned that girls don’t respond positively to personality like ours because they often find them intimidating or rude like you saw the girls react last night. Personally it has always been a struggle of mine to make friends that are girls and it doesn’t come naturally. I really have to work at it and find ways not to scare people off. When Jubilee said she doesn’t get along with girls I took that as she has had a lifetime of people reacting negatively to her strong personality. As a result it is hard for her to open up to girls and form friendships. She seemed to be getting along with everybody until she got a date and came home with a rose. Then everyone had a problem with her. That’s just my two cents 🙂

  2. Love your thoughts Ali! <3 Totally agree with you on everything!! I think Lauren B is going to win his heart. 🙂

  3. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t have strong female friendships…but I didn’t really see Jubilee in that way. Looking at her IG, it’s obvious she does have close girl friends. I think she’s probably had issues with "mean girls" in the past and that makes it hard to open up or be trusting. And, she did try to open up to Jojo, while she just rolled her eyes and showed zero sympathy. Look at how awful the girls were to Jubilee here simply for using sarcasm/humor! I don’t blame Jubilee at all here.

  4. Amen, Ali! Ha ha! All of the same things were going through my head last night — although, I do think Jubilee’s sarcasm was a little blown out of proportion, especially at the start of her date with Ben. It did seem like she tried to make an effort with the girls, but, they’re a tough bunch — I mean, we’re criticizing people’s toes at this point! Ha ha! That was too much. One of the things that really made my stomach turn was when Olivia immediately pulled Ben aside the night of the rose ceremony and started talking about HER insecurities instead of being there for him after he had suffered a tragic loss. Pretty awful. This group of girls seems pretty tough — I think I’d stash a bottle of wine in my room and never leave! Ha!

  5. I thought Amber and the girl that looks like her that went home (I don’t even know her name)… were being such drama queens. Amber with the talking about Olivia’s toes and then the other girl tattling. Then later the other girl did something else I cant even remember now, but she did something else super annoying and pot stirring. Then Amber trying to talk to Jubilee and when she didn’t want to discuss anything she went back to the girls and acted like she wanted them to go to her…what a shitty thing to do. Unnecessary drama that Ben did not need. Amber should know better. Not to mention the pity party about kankles! These girls! Gah!

    1. I don’t agree that Jami was being a drama queen by tattling on the women who were talking about Olivia’s toes. I think it’s kind of odd to criticize both the gossip and the tattling. Is the gossip right or wrong? If it’s wrong, then I think it’s ok to tattle on it. For all we know, Jami’s motivation for tattling was to let Olivia know that her rude behavior is getting to the girls so much that they’re now criticizing her toes.

  6. Thought I’d comment on something that was written below about Olivia’s behavior after hearing of Ben’s loss. On another former Bachelorette Blog, Jillian Harris, made the point that could explain, Olivia’s faux pas. Jillian mentioned that often times what we see in an episode is edited by the producers. It means that it is possible that Olivia did offer up her condolences to Ben, before going into her whine about her Cankles. She is not a favorite of mine, but it could explain her self-absorbed comments.

    Go Lauren B. 🙂

  7. I definitely respect Jubilee and her experiences so I definitely don’t mind her as a person. Personally, I don’t think that her and Ben will end up together but he obviously finds her interesting. Maybe the other girls are jealous because she isn’t a lot like them and that makes them insecure?
    Either way, there was a TON of unnecessary drama last night. I thought it was nice that Jubilee gave him the massage. She didn’t do it in spite to "steal time with him" I truly think she did it because he needed that time to relax.
    Not a fan of Olivia either, yes, she might have offered condolences, but even Ben said that her topic of conversation was not something that was needed in the moment.

  8. I feel like she was playing hard to get… to a fault. It was hard to watch, but I feel like she’s a good person. Though I didn’t like how she cut herself off from the other girls. Hopefully it was just a one episode thing and she gets it figured out.

  9. I was so angry when Olivia pulled him aside to talk about her body! Jubilee is not my favorite girl, but I thought her massage was such a sweet and selfless idea that it made me like her more.

  10. Hi Ali, Love love to read your blog!! you are great, anyway I felt the same way with what you said, but I also didn’t like how Olivia barely let Ben speak about the tragic news of losing family friends and she needed to talk to him about what the other girls were saying about her cankles or actually her toes! Who gives a sh*t about her damn toes, focus on what Ben was dealing with, the tragic loss of family friends and he not being able to be there.

  11. Ali you are the bomb, I don’t watch the bachelor/bachelorette anymore maybe because I’m happily in love or that I’m just that much older than the girls but it’s disheartening to see such desperation and stupidity! You are my favorite, your are and were just so normal right up until the very end- must be a Massachusetts thing. Please tell me that something happens to these girls when they get on camera or that much of it is staged. Do they offer therapy on set ??
    Keep up the great blogging esp the fashion.

  12. I totally get why Jubilee doesn’t get along with girls. It happens to me very frequently. I have a crazy similar personality to Jubilee. I have had a tough childhood, I build a tough exterior, I make sometimes inappropriate jokes when I’m nervous or uncomfortable, nobody (especially girls) ever understand my "jokes". It’s SO hard to connect with people especially girls! I get her and I feel for her! My fiancé even said last night, "you act just like that girl" haha. She’s raw and 8 like it, with that being said I’m not sure she’s the girl for Ben. Although, Ben reminds me SO much of my fiancé and we seem to balance each other out! We will see!!!!

    I will say this, Ben is a real stand up guy! I have watched every season of the bachelor, yes every single one and I’m 29! Ahhhh. He truly seems to be giving each of these girls a chance! You can tell he desperately wNts to get to know each of them. He’s so kind and caring! I really hope he finds love. He deserves it!

  13. When Jubilee mentioned not getting along with women very well, I don’t think she meant all women (if you look at her IG, she has female friends!). But if I walked up to some girls and asked what’s up, and they IMMEDIATELY leave mumbling about lipgloss, or if I walked straight into an ambush where a bunch of girls wanted to confront me because a guy liked me more than them, I wouldn’t be too keen on those women. Jubilee has a right to not get along with the other girls, since none of them have been nice to her and in fact many of them have been outright cruel.

  14. I don’t blame Jubilee one bit for excluding herself from the group a bit, especially with how the majority of them were acting towards her. She seems to speak her mind, have a unique personality and she actually has some depth to her which I feel like a lot of the contestants are lacking.

  15. It’s obvious Jubilee is a nice woman. No one has perfect encounters with people in their lives but that doesn’t make us bad people. Just because Jubilee has had instances in her life where she doesn’t get along with other women, shouldn’t reflect on who she is as a woman. In the part where she stated she doesn’t get along with women, it wasn’t sassy or snobby. Jubilee was actually very thoughtful and eloquent when she was talking about it…

    Honestly I connect and relate to Jubilee. I think she is one of the "misfit toys" in life who is misunderstood and disregarded before people get to know her. I feel like a misfit toy. She can sit with me 🙂

  16. I am not sure about this season of The Bachelor. I love Ben, but this group of girls leaves a lot to be desired. The focus really seems to be on the more outrageous girls and their antics. I have not been able to select a favorite at this point. Hope Ben is having a better time of it, I feel for him.

    I have the Bachelor Live segment after the show. Chris Harrison is struggling to make conversation and come up with things to say. It is awkward and just plain awful. Who are these Bachelor fans. The women on last night was screaming every time she spoke, who was the man sitting next to her and the men with the gray hair UGH! They need to stop this nonsense. Do they have to try that hard for ratings? Bad idea!!!!

  17. What really got to me was that Olivia actually whined to Ben about her legs and her toes immediately after he revealed the heartbreak that he was experiencing for people back home. How absolutely shallow and vain can one person be? I really hoped he would have booted her after that, but he’s a much better person than I thought. Though it seems she is slowly but surely digging her own grave…

  18. I don’t blame Jubilee one bit for withdrawing from the women. They were horrible to her and there was no reason for it. They bullied her then got mad when she pulled away.

    That said I cringed at some of her comments early on but I figured she was nervous and excited and who doesn’t say cringe worthy things sometimes? I identify a lot with her because of her layers and feeling like people don’t really know her.

    I took her comment about not getting along with women like she’s choosy about who she lets in because she’s been hurt before and misunderstood. Not that she can’t get along with women.

  19. Hey Ali!
    Awesome post this week and every week! 🙂 Can you go back to answering some questions in every blog/week? ! I know we all miss those! It’s nice to get to know more about the bachelor behind the scenes. 🙂

    My first comment/question is about the whole toe incident with Olivia. Im totally not on her side, but was the whole talk about her "lower half" good editing on the producers side to make us hate Olivia more? I know Ben made a comment about how he wished she would of consoled him instead of talk about herself but I know editing plays a huge part in this show as well. So, just curious if she is really as evil as they make her look(highly likely) or if their making us think that.

  20. I totally agree with what you said. I wish there wasn’t so much drama. I feel Olivia needs to leave. She just thinks to highly of her self and she is not perfect. I really hate it when the girls that get roses continue to want time with him that night. Really! Give the other girls a chance to get to know Ben. Ben seems like a great guy!

  21. I think an explanation to ‘not getting along with other women’ could be translated to, I’m insecure. Nothing wrong with being bad at social situations. I tend to weird people out when I first meet them or get all of their attention. It’s to much to process and so I push them away. Maybe that’s what’s going on? She’s pushing away the girls cause she doesn’t know how to act around them…? I guess because I’ve been pushed out of social groups, teased, made fun of, and treated badly by groups of women I feel sorry for her

  22. Like someone else said, many girls who say they don’t get along with girls have been bullied and mistreated by women in the past. Jubilee seems a bit introverted and shy. Most women are extroverted and demonstrative, so a girl with her personality comes across as awkward in a group like that.

  23. Ali, I don’t have any issue with Jubilee attitude with the girls in the house. You should know lots of scenes are edited out and the viewers don’t see it. Amber and the girls involve are awful human beings. Amber had no right to confront Jubilee like that. First, they gossip about her and got mad because she came back with a rose. They were expecting Ben to send her home. She is a war veteran and some of the girls like the bartenders are jealous plus Ben finds her very intriguing. She is beautiful and have a drop dead Amazing body.

  24. Hi Ali! I usually agree with you on what you think about most Bachelor/ette episodes and I’m usually more of a quiet lurker. This Monday’s episode really got to me, however and I had to speak out!

    I related so much to Jubilee last night, as a woman of colour, with a complicated history that isn’t necessarily the same as Jubilee’s but socially crippling in the same way as her. It isn’t about getting along with women. I didn’t see Jubilee go out of her way to be rude to the other women. She was just quieter, more reflecting, and just didn’t necessarily share the happy vibe and she was crucified for it.

    I read something that Rowan Blanchard said on criticism of Squad Goals recently that I feel applies to this weird female bonding situation that the Bachelor creates and can perhaps articulate what I’m thinking (and maybe what Jubilee was feeling) better: "Sisterhood is something so valid and important when you are growing up that I literally think the essence of it should be taught in schools," she said. "But, the ‘squads’ we see in the media are very polarizing. Feminism and friendship are supposed to be inclusive, and most of these ‘squads’ are strictly exclusive. ‘Squad goals’ can polarize anyone who is not white, thin, tall and always happy."

  25. I agree about most of it but in terms of Jubilee not "getting along with the girls" I kinda saw it the other way around. She didn’t specifically say "I don’t like women" or "I don’t get along with women" she said she had trouble relating to more bubbly extroverted women and in general to the situation in the house. Trust, I hate when women paint themselves as above the other girls but acknowledging that she’s maybe not up to faking being bubbly and the fact that her past might have an influence on that particular part of her personality isn’t being mean to the girls. If anything there were a few shots where the girls visibly moved away from HER… they othered/bullied her quite a lot I feel, and like you said failed to focus on trying to comfort Ben which was more important.

  26. I’m not on Jubilee’s side about having time with Ben at the cocktail party. Anyone can sympathize with her selfless intentions, but the reality is the competition was still going: it was still a pre-rose ceremony cocktail party. Ali says time at a cocktail party doesn’t make any difference as to whether you stay or go home, but she can’t make that generalization because she’s not Ben. If it were true that time wouldn’t have mattered, he would have cancelled the cocktail party. He may have not been in the mood to have one. If his only interest that night was hanging out with the women to get cheered up, he would have not had a rose ceremony that night.

    Regarding the comment about Jami’s tattling on the women who talked about Olivia’s toes, I don’t agree that Jami was being a drama queen. I think it’s kind of odd to criticize both the gossip and the tattling. Is the gossip right or wrong? If it’s wrong, then I think it’s ok to tattle on it. For all we know, Jami’s motivation for tattling was to let Olivia know that her rude behavior is getting to the girls so much that they’re now criticizing her toes.

  27. Hey Ali…I’m new to your blog and really ❤️❤️ all you’re sharing! Quick question for a Bachelor insider…does it seem to you like the producers cast more quirky, gimmicky, or "not gonna make its" than usual? From all representations, Ben is a down to earth, between-the-lines kind of guy. It just seems to me like the producers put in the woman with a horse, twins, a self-promoting former news anchor, and more than a few emotionally-fragile women to either spice up the promos, or make the front runners emerge more quickly. (I’m sorry I don’t remember the womens’ names…meant no disrespect by that).

    Anyhoo, it just seems sorta mean to cast women who, unbeknownst to them, are clearly not going to be a match. Also, it seems unfair to Ben and the other women to have been presented with and distracted by so much unnecessary drama.

    All that said, I love the show and wish nothing but the best for all involved. Congratulations to you on all the great things happening in your life! Eager to hear your thoughts.

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