Shawn Vs. Nick. The Other Guy = Ben H

And then there were 3. Shawn, Nick, and The Other Guy. I like Ben H a lot, so no disrespect to him, but it’s just been so obvious for so long that this is all about Nick and Shawn – AND I LIKE IT!

I can’t get over how good this season is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know a bunch of you are going to say it’s the worst season ever but I wholeheartedly disagreed. Yes, it tends to lean more on the Bachelor in Paradise side drama-wise, and the romantic stuff hasn’t fully shown up yet. But come on, you have to admit that you are hanging on every second of this season! Why else would you be reading this blog? It’s SO GOOD!

At first I hated that the rose ceremonies were in the middle of the episodes, but now I love it! They were never cliff hangers for me before. It was always pretty obvious toward the end of the season who is going home and who is getting roses, so why end each episode on that? It doesn’t necessarily leave me dying to know what happens the following week. This season is so juicy that the editors end each episode on a scene where we can’t WAIT to find out what happens. It’s genius that they switched up the format. I’m into it.

And how perfect to leave on the Nick and Shawn fight! I’m counting the days until next Monday to see what happens. But with that said, let’s talk about Shawn’s pure hatred for Nick. I get that Shawn really doesn’t like him, and that’s okay. He doesn’t have to. I’m sure Nick doesn’t like him much either. But it’s extremely disrespectful that he won’t say Nick’s name. He keeps calling him “the other guy” and I just really find that childish and unnecessary. It’s like he is going out of his way to be hurtful. I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t an angel on the season of the Bachelor that I was on. But I was young and dumb and regret the way I acted at times. But that was almost 6 years ago so please don’t suggest I don’t have the right, as an adult, to call someone out for going out of their way to be mean. I hope Shawn admits he was wrong at the ATFR because I DO like him. I just think he made a few mistakes throughout the show so far.

I’ve said for a while now that this season is all about Kaitlyn’s relationship with Nick and Shawn. This becomes even more clear when he is the only person she feels the need to tell about having sex with Nick. Ben goes home next week. He must. Unless Kaitlyn sends Nick home because Shawn hates him. But I don’t think Kaitlyn would let Shawn dictate who she sends home unless she was positive he’ll be the guy in the end. And I don’t think she is sure who she wants between the two yet.

That said, I felt so bad for Shawn when Kaitlyn told him about Nick. She obviously didn’t cheat on him since they aren’t exclusive, but I can’t help but think it would be as painful as hearing your significant other cheated. Can you imagine how much pain you would feel if the person you loved, slept with someone else after telling you that you were the one? So painful. I’m not saying Kaitlyn did anything wrong, because I don’t think she did. I’m just acknowledging Shawn’s feelings and saying that I feel for him.

In the end, Kaitlyn is definitely still torn between Nick and Shawn. It’s anyone’s game at this point. If she was certain she would be with Shawn in the end, then she would make the decision to send Nick home tonight just to end all the drama between the guys.

Oh and I hear the ending this season is going to be SOOOOO GOOD! I have no idea what goes down, but I can’t wait to write about it!

Who do you want to see Kaitlyn with? Do you approve of Shawn’s behavior? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

Until next week…

xoxo Ali

115 Thoughts

115 thoughts on “Shawn Vs. Nick. The Other Guy = Ben H

  1. Shawn is a big baby and a drama queen. I think Nick has been nothing but nice. Even all the other guys came around and liked him in the end. I hope she picks Nick but she might like all of Shawn’s angst/drama.

  2. I started out loving Shawn, but after the last couple weeks I think he has become a douche canoe. He’s petty and whiny and I am frankly annoyed. While I think Nick is not being totally honest about his original intentions, I think you can’t deny they certainly have a connection and it’s kinda cute.

    1. I wholeheartedly agree with your post, and admittedly laughed out loud in my office at "douche canoe." HA!

  3. I love Nick and I will stand by that. But, really, I kind of hope she picks Shawn and Nick ends up as the next bachelor. Lots of people would disagree, BUT come on….that would be SUCH GOOD TV!!!

  4. I agree that Shawn is acting a little childish by just dwelling on Nick! If he was confident in his relationship with Kaitlyn, he wouldn’t worry about Nick. Obviously what she told him gives him reason to not be as confident as maybe he once was, but I still think it’s getting a little old to hear him complain about "the other guy." Personally I like Nick, and I have since Andi’s season! #TeamNick

  5. When Kaitlyn offered the fantasy suite to Nick, he looked creepy to me. Like a horn dog. I can’t put my finger on it but Nick seems immature and not in this for the right reasons. Shawn is clearly in love with Kaitlyn, and is being a true gentleman which is fighting for the one he loves. I can see the pain in his eyes when Kaitlyn is with Nick. And when she told him about what happened with Nick the look on his face. It crushed him. I really think she will choose Shawn.

  6. Have been a "teamnick" fan since Andi’s season and have never understood any of the hatred displayed to him. The only thing that he’s guilty of is falling in love with Andi and now Kaitlyn. In normal circumstances he wouldn’t, shouldn’t and I imagine couldn’t sit back and wait while someone else persues the same girl. But, the process, being what it is he played along. I feel for him. It’s hard to let your guard down and admit that you love someone in normal circumstances, I can’t imagine what it would be like when it magnified in national television. I admire him for being courageous enough to put himself back in this situation in order to peruse someone that he likes with the hopes of falling in love. I’m hoping that everything works out for the best for him, however the show concludes.
    My only comment to Kaitlyn is that I hope when she is on the ATFR episode when she is asked "did you love the guy (whomever it might be)" she can find a compassionate way to respond. Instead of providing a cold and heartless rejection.
    As for Shawn’s behavior. I actually find it quit scary. Anyone who gets that insanely jealous and possessive at this stage in a relationship, is only bound to get worse (he knew the situation and circumstances he signed up for. He’s not the only one pusueing Kaitlyn.) if he wasn’t a little bit jealous I wouldn’t trust that his feelings were genuine, but, he’s taking it to extremes. Should Kaitlyn end up with him that jealousy will destroy them.

  7. I love Shawn, but his behavior is a little concerning. I wonder how he would be in a long term relationship? Not even engaged, but just a serious, dating couple? I think Kaitlyn hit the nail on the head with the "I don’t think you trust me" line. I hope they get past that because in the end, I want Kaitlyn and Shawn together.
    I didn’t watch the Andi season so I don’t have that to go on, but I find Nick creepy and wonder why he is only attracted to women on television?

  8. I like both Nick and Ben. Nick is intelligent- just listen to his vocabulary and how articulate he is. Shawn sounds like a boxer with a protective mouthpiece in his teeth. To me, Shawn is just a big lug, don’t understand Kaitlyn’s attraction to him- but it’s very strong.

  9. I 100% agree with your post!

    I am big fan of the show and do believe it can produce successful couples however this is the first time I do not think the couple will make it if she picks Shawn. His behavior on the show is immature, calling Nick "the other guy" , going to his room to confront him, showing jealousy since early on in the season. That type of behavior on the show I can’t imagine what he is like off of TV. It is obvious he does not trust Kaitlyn’s choices and questions her time and time again. I can’t imagine how he’s been watching this if he is the one especially with how real her connection is with Nick. I do agree she is torn right now because if she wasn’t and knew she was picking Shawn she would send Nick home.

    Can’t wait for next week!

  10. shawn is so immature. Calling him "the other guy" is just one example. The fact that he verbally attacked Nick & assumed he wasn’t there for Kaitlyn w/out any valid reasons to support him, show’s his hatred is purely from from insecurities & jealousy. I hope Kaitlyn will see that watching back that Shawn’s concerns over Nick weren’t valid, yet Nick complaining to her that he has zero respect for Shawn for projecting insecurities & not giving people a chance was the reality. Kaitlyn is into Shawn more than Nick. Had she had sex w/ Shawn I don’t think she would feel as much guilt or feel the need to tell Nick. Her & Nick have the same values and they look too cute together. I love that they have the most ordinary dates & seem to always have fun. A life w/ Shawn seems like one where she’s going to have to constantly be worried about his jealousy & insecurities. Also thank you Ali for acknowledging your own immaturity on Jakes season. To be honest, I didn’t like you back in the day because of how you treated Vienna, but people change & grow up. 🙂 It seems like you willing to stand up for Nick who is clearly the unpopular opinion seems to show your true character.

  11. I have to agree with all the other commentators here that Shawn is just coming across as an immature jerk. He is just so demanding, and wanting to control every situation. Why did he think he has the right to go to Nick’s room, and just verbally attack him? Very strange. What was he hoping to accomplish by that? He was just trying to intimidate Nick. Really Nick has done nothing to him, and you have to commend him for not totally losing it and going off on Shawn, which I am sure Shawn would love, and would use against him.
    He never even gave Nick a chance the whole show. Nick does not seem anywhere near as controlling as Shawn.
    Nick on the other hand comes across as so intelligent, and a sweet guy. Not to mention, drop dead gorgeous. I think he is actually very shy, and that’s why people might misunderstand him at times.
    Word on the street is that she picks Shawn. What a mistake. I hope she is noticing all the red flags when she is now watching the show, and how Shawn treats other people. He is so disrespectful to others. Maybe if she is lucky, Nick will take her back, similar to Jason and Molly.
    I actually would love to see Nick as the Bachelor. He is really growing on me.

  12. I totally agree with the new format of the Rose ceremonies appearing whenever. On one hand I hate it because it is confusing to keep track of what happened when & it leaves me on edge; I’m dying to find out what happens next, but I can’t deny that it does make for great suspense & tv. If it weren’t for snapchat spoiler Kaitlyn gave out, this season would have been riveting w/ suspense, but unfortunately I know who it is. Plus the way she talks about Shawn & Nick (or the lack of talking about Nick) in her recaps really gives it away & makes it obvious.

  13. I’m tired of people defending Shawn. Let’s get real, if people didn’t find him attractive no one would be defending his actions. Everyone is trying to say, well he’s in love. Well look at Jared & Ben. They’re falling in love & have so much more to be insecure about, but they’re not spewing hatred & jealousy every chance they get. They’ve been handling the situation w/ grace. & lets not forget the many other contestants from previous seasons who have been in the exact situation, in love & vulnerable (Ben Flajnik, JP Rossenbaum, Arie, Jef Holms, Nick Viall, Josh Murray, Roberto, Kiptyn, Ed S., Chris from Des’s season ect). I mean the list goes on ! did anyone show this degree of immaturity & focus on another contestant before? If I was Kaitlyn, I would HATE to end up with a man like Shawn. Yes, he’s shown that he loves her, which is sweet, but he’s also shown that in situations like this he’s willing to compromise integritiy, character, and resort to childish immature ways.

  14. Shawn is annoying. And he’s actually kind of ugly. He has so much hate in him. What is his problem. It’s like he has a stick up his ass. I feel bad for Nick.

    I also don’t think Nick is "sleezy" at all. He may seem slightly arrogant at times but he’s not a bad guy and I’ve never seen him be manipulative. He seems like a sensitive guy to me and he’s mostly a positive person and he’s funny. His feelings for Andi and Kaitlyn seemed genuine.

    Shawn on the other hand is a boring stiff and just overall paranoid and negative. ICK!!!

    And to me it looked like the whole video leak was Shawn’s doing. He was looking straight into the camera.

  15. the difference between Frank from your season & Shawn is that Frank didn’t allow his insecurities to treat others like crap & wrongfully attack their character.

  16. Ali, I totally agree with you about this season. So many people are complaining about it and I just don’t get it. The drama keeps me interested and the cliffhangers every week are awesome. It’s sad to me that people are so judgemental!!! I’m pretty sure that these judgey people are not perfect either. As a long time viewer of the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise, the way they’ve been changing it up has been refreshing. Personally I hope she picks Shawn in the end, I was never a fan of Nick. We shall see! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!

  17. Great blog! Nick is much more intelligent, witty, mature and likable than Shawn. I’m not sure if Kaitlyn likes the stalker/obsessive personality in a boyfriend and that is why Shawn appeals to her? I’d think being questioned by Shawn constantly and all of his brooding and anger would get old very fast, and I think it sends some serious red flags. I’m sure Shawn is a good guy overall, but he is jealous and angry, no way this is all editing. I am trying to catch him smiling, and I never see it! Nick is a wonderful person, unfairly maligned on social media. I hope Kaitlyn is happy with who she chose.

  18. I’m seriously baffled that anyone could possibly like Nick. Shawn made such a great point saying that Nick is only there to fix his reputation. Sure he may like Kaitlyn but it’s also apparent he is a typical guy with only sex on his mind. He’s a charmer and is playing mind games with Kaitlyn by telling her exactly what she wants to hear. I definitely think Shawn could’ve been the bigger man and not say anything, but he made a good point that he is the ONLY one to actually tell Nick how he feels instead of talking behind his back. Also I respect him so much on his he handled Kaitlyn telling him about sleeping with Nick. I’m sure there are very few people that would’ve been that mature about it. Anyways #teamshawn and I just hope this is the last time the show lets Nick back on!

  19. I also agree with you about this season’s dynamics. I enjoy the cliff hangers and though we haven’t seen most of the romanticism. Kaitlyn surely does know how to fight for her feelings though she might not be so sure of them. I can tell by her tears and eyes. Poor girl. Though I want the last two to be Shawn and Ben H. I hate Nick! Ever since Andy’s season. Just something about him I don’t like…nope never have and I was so upset that she brought him in the season. I didn’t like how it was handled. Either way I am team Shawn and Ben H. Who cares about all the critics it’s Kaitlyn’s love story anyways…though let’s hope she picks the Prince charming right for her…

  20. i love how all the Nick haters always say theres just something about him they don’t like, something about him you cant put a finger on. Well that sounds totally reasonable. Dislike someone w/out knowing exactly what it is you don’t dislike about them.

  21. Honestly, after that episode they are BOTH annoying and I wish they’d both go away. And I was definitely Team Shawn in the beginning. Ben H. on the other hand – poor guy. It’s a shame he isn’t getting more air time because he’s adorable and sweet and would probably make an awesome husband. And for the record – if anyone actually watching this show cared about her finding real love and a person who is husband quality material, they would see that she’s actually the best match for Jared. The only time she truly seemed comfortable and herself is when she was with him. I get the sexual chemistry may be stronger with other guys and while that’s super important, it can also fizzle out, and at the end of the day, you can’t spend your life with someone who you can’t be yourself around.

    1. Yes! I felt like Jared and Kaitlyn would be an awesome couple in the real world! Knew he wasn’t gonna win though. Funny because I’ve thought about myself in that situation and I doubt I wouldve pick the guy I’m happily married to out of a group like that either. Most "husband material" guys wouldn’t shine in a setting like that… At least not mine… He’s not all in your face about how awesome he is. He just is. I think Jared is like that too.

  22. Agreed – it’s great they changed this season up and the cliff hangers keep us coming back! However – how childish and unnecessary was it for Nick to call Shawn out for the whole Eskimo brother comment. Nick is starting to show his Andi season true colors.

    1. Hellooooo????? has Shawn not been calling out Nick for unneccessary & unvalidated reason ?? Why the double standard?

  23. I was a fan of Shawn’s but he whines way too much. So now I’m a fan of Ben’s who goes home next week. Jarred’s goodbye was really sad too, what a sweetie pie. And did Kaitlyn just jump in the sack with Nick again after stabbing a knife into Shawn heart with her earlier confession? Kaitlyn’s Snapchat opps gave away that she picked Shawn in the end. Can’t say this is my favorite season. Not even the top five.

  24. Does anyone really expect it to last between her & Shawn? He’s way too much of a player, arrogant, immature, jealous, petty guy for any mature meaningful relationship to come from it. He seems like he wants to WIN kaitlyn just for the sake of beating "the Other Guy" . What has Nick done that’s so bad? Really? He’s seemed to avoid drama at all cost, yet Joshua & Shawn kept attacking him and assuming he’s not there for the right reasons, when they should be doing like Jared & Ben H & just focus on their own relationships.

  25. I want to feel bad for Shawn I just can’t. He knows the show and knows he is not the only one she is creating a relationship with! I mean yeah it would suck that someone you like slept with someone else. But lets be for real he just wines way to much for me.

  26. After Nick threw Shawn under the bus, it makes me not like him even more. What business is it of his to tell Kaitlyn Shawn’s past and how does that help their relationship? If anything, it should be coming from Shawn himself.

    I too, am also Shawn calling Nick "the other guy". I wonder if someone has told him to keep referring to Nick as that?

    We only see what they show, and I think they’re just just showing all of Shawn’s insecurities and the drama to portray him that way. If all their interactions are like what we see on TV 100% of the time, I don’t see how they could have built such a strong connection and fall in love coz the drama is just so tiring!

    P.S. Loving Ben H!! Definitely my fave.

    1. Nick threw Shawn under the bus? And what has Shawn been doing? He’s done nothing but talk shit about Nick to Kaitlyn. Seriously, I just don’t get #teamShawn’s logic & reasoning.

  27. I totally disagree about the rose ceremonies, it leaves each episode so unbalanced and disjointed. Like Nick’s overnight date should have been shown next week so we could do a good side by side comparison of each one, but they had to tack it on to this ep to fill in the time after the rose ceremony. Annoying. I don’t need to be ~hooked for next week, I’m going to watch anyway (as are most people), so REALLY, enough with that. Also, cliffhangers lose their value if you use them every single week.

    I agree with all of your other points though. I’ve found Shawn kind of whiny lately, but I get where he’s coming from, and I would probably be feeling similarly if I were in his shoes. It’s a tough spot to be in for sure.

  28. I really have loved all the bachelorette seasons but so many people are hating on her right now when I feel like she has the most real bachelorette. We all know what goes down on some real f those dates, it was just never talked about. So what, now we have Kaitlyn. A strong, open, determined lady that is really putting it all out there for all of us to see. Bravo to her!!
    I do love the rose ceremonies in the middle. I feel like it really pulls you in.
    The whole Shawn vs Nick thing, it’s great for television and it’s obvious that her and Nick have a very strong physical connection but I really think that that is all it is. I know we don’t know how much her and Nick text or chatted before but she actually really got to know Shawn. Yes she was premature to tell him he’s the one but I don’t think she would have if she was so smitten about Nick at home.
    The finally will be a good one and can’t wait to pop our champagne bottles and watch!! No matter how it’s ends I’m still happy it was Kaitlyn that we got to share this journey with!!

  29. How Nick is maintaining his sanity after seeing people reaction is beyond me. I would go crazy if everyone twisted around my sincere & kindhearted actions & intentions to be something malicious, petty, and "creepy". Especially if everyone was defending someone like Shawn who was a jerk & treated me like crap. I don’t get it. But I love that he said "Its nice to be liked, but its more important to be who I am & if I do that then I’m okay with people saying whatever". I wish I had his strength & humility cause honestly I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

  30. I think saying you weren’t an angel on your season of the Bachelor is an understatement. More like you were a raging bitch. And weren’t you like 25 then? That’s old enough to be over the petty mean girl junior high drama. Sorry….just calling it like it is. I’m glad you seemed to have grown up since then.

  31. You of all people should know how Shawn was feeling. As for me, he handled it very well. He might be sensitive at times but that’s what love can do to people.

  32. Wow. Team Nick found a place to rant #sorrybutno

    PS. Everyone makes mistake not only Shawn (he is emotional but reasonable (!!) considering the situation and how he’s feeling for Kaitlyn)

  33. HI Ali!

    As a bachelor(ette) fan since the beginning I have to agree that I like the cliffhangers. It gives the show a new life that was starting to fizzle out.

    I think I just have one concern with this whole situation and I’d love to hear your opinion on it.

    On Andi’s season we all witnessed Nick expose his personal time with Andi on national television. I personally felt for the guy. Was it uncalled for? Yes. But his reasoning was valid. He made it clear that sex was important to him and that Andi shouldn’t have went down that path if she wasn’t sure.

    However. Fast forward to this season he sleeps with Kaitlyn when there are multiple guys remaining. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I feel like he humiliated Andi on national television, played the victim, and now he’s completely changing his morals.

    Also, I feel that Shawn has good intentions, and Kaitlyns best interest at heart. Do you feel you can compare his intentions to yours when you were warning Jake about Vienna?

    Once again huge fan, and I really do look forward to your blog every week.

    Xoxoxo Cher

  34. I don’t doubt that Shawn’s feelings for Kaitlyn are genuine, but it does not excuse him from his egotistical and immature attitude. His tantrum when Jared got the group date rose was incredibly unattractive. I think he said something along the lines of "why would she choose Jared over me?" I think Shawn has a sense of entitlement because Kaitlyn told him he was "the one," but, I also think that his entitlement stems from his elevated self-concept. I’m sure Shawn is well aware that he is physically attractive and likely has little trouble attracting women. This situation is tough on him because he, like many of the guys on the show, rarely face rejection.

    I don’t particularly like Nick, but find his interactions with Kaitlyn more enjoyable. Nick treats Kaitlyn as an equal; she never has to prove herself to him. In contrast, Kaitlyn constantly has to validate and reassure Shawn. I think she likes "the chase," which is understandable, but I almost feel like she is scared of Shawn. It’s likely producer manipulation, but also Shawn’s emotional manipulation that make Kaitlyn feel guilt over something she shouldn’t feel guilty about. I think in some ways, she’s been manipulated into thinking that she is morally inferior to Shawn. I admire Kaitlyn and know that she is a strong woman, but those are foundations for a volatile relationship.

  35. What did you think about Jared? Am I the only one thinks kaitlyn and Jarred’s relationship was the most real and genuine (besides nick maybe). I can definitely see nick and Kaitlin’s connection but at this point all Shawn and kaitlyns relationship has been them talking about nick. I just can’t imagine if they end up together they’re relationship lasting because they don’t seem to have a good foundation. I think think he Shawn is way to concerned about Nick he losing his chance to build on his own relationship. I just loved Jared and his relationship with her I was just wondering what you thought about it? Btw I loved you on both your seasons and I love how you blog and interact so much with the show! You’re definitely one of my favorites Ali!

    1. I totally felt the same way about her and Jared, when they were together it actually felt real. I think Kaitlyn seemed to act like herself (not that I know what that is lol, but I think you know what I mean) when she was with him & was clearly upset when she had to send him home. #TeamJared 🙂

    2. I agree with you on Jared. He was my favorite and I’d be happy if he was the next bachelor. Ben??? Boring.

  36. I think Nick is not affected because he doesn’t feel anything for Kaitlyn. It’s all BS and he obviously wants attention. Unlike Ben H, who obviously is very genuine and cool about all of it because he knows that he doesn’t have the strongest connection but still trying.

  37. I think the producers are just making us all think that Shawn and Kaitlyn’s relationship is all about insecurities and uncertainty to make it more "dramatic". We obviously don’t know and see everything that is happening during their conversations.

    What do you think, Ali?

  38. I think Kaitlyn will end up with Shawn which I think is the best for both of them. I don’t think Nick and her will last as long once it goes back to "real life" just because it seems more of a high school romance. Shawn pushes her and she pushes him for their relationship to work. I see them as a couple. I agree with you though about him calling Nick the "other guy". It’s not cute anymore. Just say the name!! I don’t think he should necessarily apologize for that but just own up in ATFR and say I was doing this for love. Also, I love Ben H!! Can I see him end up with Kaitlyn, no. But maybe that’s just because we’re more focused on the Shawn and Nick show?! He’ll definitely end up with a great woman!

  39. I have a gut feeling as does everyone who watches the Bachelorette that Shawn wins. Maybe it’s just the way the producer’s edit the show, but I really don’t feel like Shawn and Kaitlyn have a solid connection. Shawn is way too contemplative and possessive, and frankly I find him a little boring. He seems to be more focused on winning her over than actually building a real relationship with her. However, I think the anxieties and uncertainties are mutual, which is probably why they find each other exciting, and maybe it causes Kaitlyn to believe that all of that drama must equate a foundation to a valid relationship.

    But everything I’ve seen between Nick and Kaitlyn, despite him being the occasional snake, seems so much more fun and genuine. They have the foundation and chemistry, especially after tonight. They don’t seem to focus on any negatives, except for Nick’s childish comment about Shawn. Their connection just seems more sustainable, and frankly I hope she chooses him! Shawn is a flashy choice, but something about Nick just seems right. #teamNick

  40. I find it curious that if a woman had been acting the way Shawn is, would we be defending it as an act of love or calling it out for what it really is. Jealous, petty, immature behavior. Imagine if Whitney or Becca had acted the way Shawn has acted. We would call it "catty" wouldn’t we. So why are people defending Shawn? His behavior is unacceptable, no ifs, ands or buts about it!

  41. I think she chooses Shawn, but I’m so bummed by that decision. I love her with Nick. I’ve been Team Nick from day one though, even on Andi’s season. I hate that Shawn actively chooses to refer to Nick repeatedly as "the other guy"… I get that that’s how he’s feeling and I’m all for honesty and embracing your feelings, but I’m not impressed by the malicious way it comes across. If I’m Kaitlyn right now watching this back I would be incredibly disappointed.

    1. omg that’s what i thought too! I was thinking if I was Kaitlyn watching I would be dissappointed

  42. insecurities are normal, going a little emotionally crazy is understandable, but it doesn’t ever give you a right to repeatedly treat another person like garbage. I mean if it happened once, okay, but Shawn is like obssessively out for Nick.

  43. what are your thoughts on her ONLY telling Shawn? And do you think she waited too long to tell? Wasn’t that very disrespectful to Ben and Jared who were both very much into her too?

    1. it was weird she felt the need to tell Shawn that she & Nick had sex, yet not the need to tell Nick that she prematurely told Shawn he was the one.

  44. I agree with you in ways. I definitely think people give Nick a bad rap for no good reason. Sure what he said to Andi was shitty but she was so cold towards him in that moment and he was just heartbroken confused and trying to make sense of what happened. Let’s not forget he tried to talk to her off camera many times before and she would not do it. And this season as he’s clearly stated he only went because him and Kaitlyn started talking before she was picked to be The Bachelorette. He’s been nothing but genuine with her. I loved their breakfast seen this week. It showed how comfortable and cute they are together, their witty banter, and what their real life relationship would look like. Unfortunately we all know she picks Shawn. I don’t get why though. Why would you want someone who is jealous, judge mental, cruel to others, constantly questioning you, and just so much drama. I like Kaitlyn a lot so I’m sad for her because it’s obvious her and Shawn will never last.

    1. well said. For a second I thought I wrote this!! Completely agree with seriously everything you wrote!!

  45. I’m hoping we see Ben as our next bachelor! Who wouldn’t want to watch a season of him!?! So sweet and so, so cute!! Who would your pic for next bachelor be?

    1. Ben is so sweet & I like him, but definitely not for Bachelor. For one, he seems like he has a really hard tiime opening up emotionally, relaxing, and just being himself. Someone who is more dynamic & emotionally open should be bachelor.

  46. I feel like the show is making Shawn look like he is super needy and insecure. I don’t think this is true but it seems to be the only clips we get to see on the show. I think she needs to just call the season quits and choose Nick already! She is SO different with him then any of the other guys I think she just needs to pick him already! She clearly really likes him and lights up whenever she is with him. I am so over the show playing Nick as a bad guy. Let the poor guy have a chance! Clearly he is kicking butt (not really the right saying for a show about love but…) on this show! Kaitlyn and Nick for the win 😉

  47. I honestly don’t think Shaun will let Kaitlyn forget that she slept with Nick which could lead to severe problems for them down the line. I feel that Nick is sincere and I really like Ben. It would really be something if she surprised us all and picked Ben. I hope Nick is as genuine as I feel he is. I would be very disappointed to find out it was just a game for him.

  48. Ben H. is the nicest and most stable man left. Nick is egotistical and over-confident plus it is so annoying that he talks with his hand over his mouth or his fingers in his mouth. He also rarely makes direct eye contact….his gaze wanders all over the place…makes him look shifty. Shawn is too insecure and whiney. I can’t see either of them as a husband much less a father at this point. Ben H. might be too serious and sweet for Kaitlyn. If he’s rejected, I would love to see him as a future bachelor…..he is such a nice, normal (that we know of) guy. Reminds me of Shawn (Catherine’s husband) who was one of my favorite guys ever.

  49. I agree it’s such a good season! Who do you want as the next bachelor? As much as I like Ben H. He’s kinda boring and I don’t want another Chris season…

  50. I really feel like Shawn is going to sabotage their relationship at this point but I hope i’m wrong because he really does seem genuine! Poor Kaitlyn! ?

  51. So many thoughts about this episode!!
    I don’t like the way Shawn refers to Nick as "the other guy". It’s extremely immature, and makes him seem like he holds himself so much higher than Nick. To me that is SO unattractive! And that’s sad because Shawn is very attractive (physically). Sure, he might not like Nick, but why can’t he be respectful? If I were Kaitlyn and I chose Shawn, and then watched how he speaks of and to Nick, I would be disappointed.
    I still don’t understand why people are always out for Nick. Sure, he seems to over-think a lot of things, and speculate what’s happened/ what’s going to happen/what could happen… but to me, that does not make him unlikeable. Shawn’s egotistical behavior is MUCH more unlikeable.
    That being said, I still don’t dislike Shawn. I’m just a little more #teamnick. 🙂
    Nick and Kaitlyn’s overnight date made me smile. I love how natural they seem together. But, I have been reading Kaitlyn’s blog, and she really hasn’t gone into much detail about Nick. She seems to discuss parts of their date, but never how Nick has made her feel. BUT she constantly defends Shawn on her blog. Makes me a little sad because I think Nick seems good for her. However, hopefully she is now in a happy, healthy relationship!

  52. Absolutely, not a fan of Nick, feel that Kaitlyn made a BIG mistake sleeping with him… Not sure I would stick around to the end if I was Shawn.

  53. I agree that where each episode leaves off I am left wanting more! I really do like Shawn. I 100% would be feeling the same way if the person I love slept with someone else. You have to have a lot of self control and understanding to get passed that. I think what her family has to say will have a lot of influence on who she chooses because she is so torn.

    My question for Ali is a more behind the scenes question. Where do the guys go after they aren’t given a rose? In the beginning do they go home and then after a certain point, they are put in a hotel somewhere? I would think if they went home, it would get leaked somehow.

    • Janelle
  54. My vote=BEN! Actually, I think he is too good for Kaitlin, so I’m hoping he will be the next Bachelor. Not a fan of either Shawn or Nick.

  55. Normally at this point in the season we typically have a "fan favorite" or someone in mind that should be the next Bachelor. Any thoughts on who it could be or who you’d like to see next season?

  56. I cant say I blame Shawn for his behavior. Maybe this kind of a show just isn’t for him because it is too much for him to handle which is ok, but now he is obviously in love. For some reason I still don’t think Nick is genuine. Although I have always been a fan of Kaitlyns there is a part of me that wishes Shawn would leave the show. It’s one thing to date and kiss a bunch of guys but sleeping with one that early in the show to me is very disrespectful to the other guys, many of which I really like.

  57. I’m convinced Jared is a real life Angel. How sweet could he be. True Class ACT! Ben is so sweet as well & i think he just might be a virgin, but wasn’t about to admit that on camera! & heres a SHOCKER… I like Nick !!! I can see past the stupid villain editing. The things people attack him for are based on nothing & he always has solid counter points to refute their inane accusations. His so called "shady" / "creepy" mannerisms like covering his mouth when he speaks seem to be just nervous habits! I’d be nervous too if this was my second go after a rough first round! Being vulnerable & saying I love you on National TV in this process takes courage! Come on people give him a break! Not even going to discuss Shawn, because I hate to use the word hate when describing someone. 🙂 P.S. Thank you Ali for sharing your thoughts! Love your fashion posts too!

  58. I like nick best for Kaitlin. They seem most into eachother and most in harmony. Shawn and Kaitlin could be good together but I think they would be constantly on different pages that it wouldn’t work out. Kaitlin and nick might not even work out in the end either due to aftermath of the show, a lot of couples can’t handle it. I think Ben is great but I don’t think Kaitlin is that into him. You can have a long paper of "needs" and "wants" in a partner and have each checkbox checked off for a certain person but… Without attraction and chemistry, he’s not the one for you. I’m glad Jared is gone – I couldn’t stand him, he reminded me of a high school boy – looks wise.

    As for Shawn’s behavior, I think it’s childish and immature as well. It’s pure jealousy and he can’t handle it. That’s not good and it’s insight into what kind of partner he will be in the long run.

  59. It’s clear who the two finalists are, but Ben H is the best man standing. He’s cute and seems to be a great guy. There’s nothing about Shawn that even compares. Nick is growing on me, but I agree there’s something not right that I can’t put my finger on yet. Kaitlin has a fun personality and speaks her mind very easily. However, I personally prefer a woman to be a little more reserved. This season hasn’t been a favorite of mine. I don’t see a happy ending based on the direction it’s going now.

  60. I’m REALLY hoping she picks Nick. It’s not supposed to be this hard this soon! Shawn has given her nothing but trouble. He’s way to immature to keep Kaitlyn happy for any length of time.

  61. I can’t see Kaitlyn with either Nick or Shawn. Sure, she and Nick have crazy intense chemistry, but I don’t feel like they really know each other enough to build a life together. He seems like a player to me. Shawn does seem to have genuine feelings for Kaitlyn, but I don’t know that they can overcome the insecurities and jealousy. I see her choosing him, but don’t see it surviving them watching the season and him seeing all that went on. I hope Ben is the next bachelor. He seems sweet even though we really haven’t gotten to know too much about him.

  62. Ali are you answering questions if so I was wondering :
    1. Are you friends with Shawn or Nick?
    2. How hard do you think it must be for Nick to be villified by the audience while dealing w/ heartbreak?

  63. Ive been trying to avoid spoilers but I follow Kaitlyn on Twitter & read her People Blog & it seems like she picked Shawn. Kaitlyn nominated Ben H as next bachelor so it spoiled it that hes eliminated . I was rooting for him. So its between Shawn & Nick. Kaitlyn is constantly tweeting positive things about Shawn & defending him & going into extensive detail about her relationship w/ him in her blog and with Nick she doesn’t ever mention him in tweets and just glosses over their dates in her People blog explaining it in the simplest terms without going into any detail about her feelings. its kind of obvious who she chooses. Do you know why Kaitlyn is acting so cold towards him like Andi did?

  64. SERIOUS QUESTION- Why is it that people who dislike Nick can never articulate the reasons why? & when they do give a reason, its something illogical or completely hypocritical For example I’ve heard from #teamShawn they can’t believe Nick would throw Shawn under the bus. Hello???? Hasn’t Shawn been bad mouthing Nick the entire time he’s been there. I just keep reading all the Nick Hate going like this " theres just something about him I don’t like, can’t put my finger on it. Something about him is just creepy". Yet there’s no definitive thing they can pinpoint. Its like people are just waiting for Nick to mess up on any little thing just to be able to point the finger and say "AH HAH! Thats what I don’t like! Its the way he covers his mouth when he talks, the way he mumbles, the way he sits, the way he shares his thoughts, yada yada.." Really people? And what has me even more perplexed is how Shawn can throw a big temper tantrum fueled by jealous rage & everyone is quick to sympathize w/ him like " oh he’s just in love. Love does crazy things to you. You have to understand its the environment and process. I want a man to act like that for me cause it proves he loves me. I would do the same if i was in his shoes". Why???? Why are we so quick to judge & hate on Nick yet defend & empathize with Shawn?

    1. well for one thing….disrespecting Andi last season by "telling all" was immature. How could anyone do that on tv…unless it was to embarrass and get even with Andi for not choosing him. Who would want anyone that has to get even with you when he doesn’t get his way. Being a life partner is about forgiveness and loving.
      I should know this August 1st my husband and I will be celebrating our 45 anniversary.

  65. Have to disagree with you on this one, Ali. It WAS wrong of her to sleep with Nick. In real life – no, I guess not although it’s would still be questionable to me. But this show is NOT real life and you have other guys to – hopefully – RESPECT.

  66. Aside from all the drama. I don’t care for the new format. I think the continuity is broken without the rose ceremony at the end. It also seems like the editors are having more interviews and less one-on-one interactions. The romance seems missing from this season. I don’t know why exactly. Re: Next Bachelor. I find Ben boring. I thought Jarod was interesting….and cute, so he’s got my vote.

  67. I fell that Kaitlin is lacking romance or genuine feelings. I can’t out my finger on it but there is a disconnect. Even with Sean and Nick. And there is so much drama for the guys it seems so different than any other season. I’m not sure why a girl would want to be with a guy that put Andy on blast last season. He seems so dishonest and not trust worthy makes me question her decisions. I like Sean and I think she ends up with him but it won’t last… I’m on to the next season ….

  68. I completely agree with you. I don’t understand what Shawn thinks he is going to accomplish by confronting nick and not calling him by his name. Nick had a point when he said "you can say what you want, but you don’t know me and you haven’t tried to get to know me." Still a fan of Shawn, but he is is own enemy right now ?

  69. Love your take on this, the change to format is fabulous, so much so I don’t even want to watch the teasers for next week. I think Kaitlyn is beautiful, smart, and compassionate. Being transparent and trustworthy is everything in a relationship. Team Shawn for weeks! Love the editing but Nick can go home now 🙂

  70. Shawn, I think Nick us just attraction And no substance. She gets bith with Shawn, and I think he thinks nicks out to hurt her and he’s just being protective of his girl

  71. Did you tell any of your guys that they we’re "the one"? I think she is all over the place. It’s like she doesn’t want to like Nick, but she can’t help herself. Honestly, everyone except Nick and Shawn could have departed weeks ago. I think Shawn is looking at this like an exclusive relationship. I can’t fault him for that. He seems genuine, and if someone uses words like "you’re the one", you would assume that person wouldn’t then go out and immediately sleep with someone else! She’s created this whole mess for herself. If Shawn was "the one" Nick wouldn’t still be there! If she leaves Nick around for the final rose ceremony, my money’s on Nick! I also must agree with you; I like this format a lot! I can’t wait for next week!

  72. I think if she picks Shawn she will regret it. He knows what he is getting into and he is focusing on nick instead of his time with Kaitlyn. If I was Kaitlyn and watched this season after picking Shawn it would be a turn off to me. I like confident guys. I am sure it is so hard to watch someone you love fall in love for someone else AND sleep with them but come on. His actions are one of a high school boy in love instead of a man. Going to Nicks room to call him out??? The only thing he is doing "wrong" is having the same feelings shawn 8s having. What right does he have over who falls for Kaitlyn? It’s a shame bc I truly feel like she picks Shawn and with l the attendion she is about to get post show I’m not sure his jealousy or their love will last.

    1. She told Shawn he was the one! In my opinion that warrants and justifies the way he is acting. It was wrong of her to tell him that so early on and then literally just a week later sleep with Nick. That is hard to take for any man and I guarantee you were it any man he would behave the same way especially since he came in later than the rest and had contact with Kaitlyn prior to the show, that is scary for anyone. People are human, no one is wrong here, emotions are flying high, hearts are on the line, it is not an ideal situation.

  73. I didn’t watch last season with Andie b’cuz I just didn’t like her on the Bachelor, so I have No opinion of Nick – I’m with Ali "It’s either ones game". All though I think Shawn is trying to protect Kaitlyn … he’s going about it in the wrong manner, and in saying that – Hats off to him for manning up to tell Nick "I want to tell you to your face" I personally like both of them and I don’t think it really matters because it is rare that any relationships last from the shows any way. Just good entertainment at the end of the day and I think Kaitlyn said it best on the talk show interview "there is literally a week of filming and all the audience sees is 1.5 hours", so a lot takes place that we don’t ever see!!! Just sayin’

  74. I liked Jared. Although it was pretty obvious it was going to ultimately come down between Shawn and Nick.

  75. Why tell Shawn he is the "one" and then sleep with Nick. Must have forgotten that little conversation. I find her very immature, just a silly little girl. Needs to sow some more wild oats I think before considering a life long partnership. I don’t think she is a one man woman right now.

    1. No, I love Nick too! He’s misunderstood by so many people, its really unfortunate all his great qualities are somehow misconstrued & overlooked. As a fan of his, it bothered me greatly that the majority of viewers didn’t see what I saw, but on his first date w/ Kailtyn he said something that really stuck out to me, "I like to be liked, but its more important to me to be who I am and as long as I do that I’m okay with people thinking whatever". It takes a person with real maturity & emotional strength to have that kind of mindset & I find that kind of attitude of not putting too much stock in popularity or other’s opinions to be so inspiring.

      I was really rooting for him, especially since this is his second go & I can’t imagine watching him be so close to only leave with heart break yet again. I’m not looking forward to that episode! I think the connection he has w/ Kaitlyn is so strong, natural and so much fun to watch, but I ultimately I see Kaitlyn and Shawn being a better fit and I’m not a Shawn fan by any means. But Kaitlyn seems to light up in a way when she’s w/ Shawn that she doesn’t w/ anyone else. I hope Nick will find someone special because he truly deserves someone equally great.

  76. I think Nick is only there to stir up trouble and looking for another 15 mins of fame. He was awful on Andy’s season why would he be any better now. Cocky, arrogant and rude are just not qualities you look for in a husband. I cannot understand how Kaitlyn is okay and hasn’t even questioned him (for us to see) his actions on ATFR. If you want us to like him give us a reason. No part of him is trying to make friends with any of the guys, he’s just trying to not get beat up by keeping things cool with as many of them as possible. I understand your heart wants what it wants but I’m just not seeing Kaitlyn’s heart in that relationship. Ali you have said you know very early on who the one is and I think if Nick hadn’t come to stir up drama then it would have been Shawn 100% and maybe they would have lived happily ever after. Shawn seems like an amazing guy, he wants to be upfront with her and show as well as tell her how he feels. Every season there is a bad guy and every one takes turns hating on them and it’s up to the Bachelorette or Bachelor to take that advice. I’d mention that none of the ones that chose the "bad guy/girl" are still together. You sent your bad guy packing way before final 3!!

  77. I think Shawn is too good for Kaitlyn! He needs to walk away from her and become the next bachelor.

  78. Definitely #teamnick
    He’s hot and they have the best chemistry. Go home Shawn, you’re annoying.

  79. I have been watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons faithfully from the beginning. I love Ben H. and would love to see him as the next bachelor.
    I also like Nick and think he and Kaitlyn are good together. Shawn seems very immature and unsure of his feelings for her.

  80. Whether she chooses Shawn or Nick, I don’t think either will last. I wish her the best though! As for the next season of the bachelor, BEN H ALL THE WAY!

  81. Based on the history of the show we should be aware that a good majority of the relationships do not last. Does it make for good TV? I don’t think so. I will be honest. The only reason I watch the show is so that my Mother and I have something to talk about on Tuesday or Wednesday mornings. It provides us with a good bit of banter. Personally I was a "Cupcake" fan, and I liked Josh the welder. Nick does nothing for me, but he obviously gets Kaitlyn’s motor running if she slept with him. Shawn is a nice guy and Ben H reminds me of the Brady Bunch with his wholesome good looks. Jared was a sweetheart. Will Kaitlyn find love? She’s taking a stab at it so here’s hoping.

  82. I love Nick, I hated him all throughout Andi’s season up until hometowns when I saw a very human side to him. Nick is a go-getter, when he’s sure of something, he goes after it, he gave 100% when with Andi and she gave him no reason to think he wasn’t the one. Eric’s analogy on her poker face was spot on, but I get that you have to be that way as the bachelorette. Were his comments on the ATFR distateful? absolutely but Andi pushed him there, to dismiss the relationship she had with Nick was childish on her part and that set him off. Had she just told him she had extremely strong feelings for him but her feelings for Josh were stronger at the point of breaking up with him, she would have saved herself the embarrassment. Now onto Nick and Kaitlyn, I do not get why people are giving Nick so much flack for coming back this season. He started something with Kaitlyn prior to her being named the bachelorette and felt that he had to pursue that further because feelings had developed. I get that people can see coming to two seasons in a row is seeking fame but what good does it do him? nothing? He knew the kind of BS he would have to deal with from the guys and the viewers in general so he went there for Kaitlyn and Kaitlyn alone, again refer to my comment about him being a go-getter. I admire that in a man. Plus those eyes, those lips, those abs…yuuuum, but I digress… Am a woman who wants a man to move heaven and earth to have a chance with me because he believes am worth it. I love that he moves to his own beat and not anyone else’s because at the end of the day we live one life and the things we regret are the chances we did not take. Even if him and Kaitlyn do not end up together, guess what, he will know he put his best foot forward taking a chance on love again. I love that he has heart broken a number of times and he still believes in love. Amazing. Besides, he and Kaitlyn not only have AMAZING chemistry, they have a really easy and natural relationship.

    Moving on to Shawn. I LOVED Shawn from the second he stepped out of the limo and I love how honest he was with her about his intentions right from the jump! What woman does not want to here "you’re the reason am here and am glad everything came together to bring us both here in this moment" excuse me while I faint!! plus how INSANELY good-looking is that man??? anyway, Shawn and Kaitlyn’s relationship progressed rather fast and amazingly. They are such an amazing couple and I will be honest, this is who I want to see her with. I feel like he is such a calming force for her, she seems to just want to be a better person around him and his opinions and feelings mean a great deal to her. I would not have been conflicted about her final pick had Nick not showed up but seeing her dynamic with Nick excited me too however thinking about it long and hard I still want her to end up with Shawn. I know he has received backlash over calling Nick "The other guy" and basically showing his distaste for him every chance he gets but guess what? He is a human being. Shawn and Kaitlyn were on a very smooth path up until Nick showed up so to him, Nick is the other guy and to make matters worse, Kaitlyn told him he was the one midway through the process. That was a BIG mistake because all it did was make him scrutinize her relationships with the other guys particularly the new one on the block who seems to have really an advantage over everyone else because he interacted with Kaitlyn prior to the filming of the show. Add to that Nick is a guy who exudes confidence to the point of cockiness 24/7 so it makes Shawn question his relationship with Kaitlyn.
    My point is, no one is wrong, people have their hearts on the line and that makes them act in ways that may not paint them in the best light sometimes but the hate is not necessary, they are all human beings and guess what they both love our girl Kaitlyn and you know how territorial men can get. I love them both I just think Shawn is a better fit for Kaitlyn. I really don’t want to see Nick get his heart broken again because it will break my heart but I have every faith his queen is right around the corner:-)) PS. Remember this is a TV show, a lot is done to give you the opinions you have and that is what has kept the on the air for as long as they have been. Just watch UnREAL and it will sink in real quick. Peace!! #TeamShawn #TeamNick

    1. i loved Nick from the begining of Andi’s season. I noticed all the sweet little things he did. For example the first week he wasn’t on any dates so he made a cute little date card for her at the cocktail party to make a mini date. Then he bought her flowers w/ a note expressing the wonderful time he had on the first date & explained to her that he wanted to make the abnormal process seem somewhat normal. I thought that was the cutest & I just saw what a genuine romantic person. I do think the long story book on the fantasy suite date he wrote to Andi was a bit much though and needed to tone it down, but yeah other than that I like him. & yes on the hometown when he had the conversation w/ his mom, that was so touching

  83. Nick is clearly not the fan favorite at this point, but I would really love to see him as the next bachelor. He’s intelligent, articulate, emotionally open, charming with the females & seems to genuinely want love not fame. At this point it seems like him being named bachelor is far fetched, but the good thing is viewers seem to be easily manipulated & their opinions can change at the drop of a dime. I hope producers will see the potential of Nick as the bachelor and start giving him a better edit

    1. Nick as the bachelor? While you’re entitled to your opinion, I feel that nearly everyone would hate to have Nick as the next bachelor. Not only has he had more than enough stage time, he is unlikable, and while I do think he improved this season, he’s still no Ben H. or even close to the awesomeness of some of the guys sent home this season.

      1. Yeah he’s not a fan favorite, but I honestly think hes the most dynamic & interesting to watch. Expecially because he’s so transparent & owns who he is. I think females can pick up on it & he has a certain charisma and confidence that is appealing. Like Andi & Kaitlyn were both super attracted to him from the get go & i remember seeing Ali interview Nick & she seemed to be attracted to him (that’s the vibe I got watching it). So I think that would make for a very interesting season. He’s not the conventional hunk like Ben Z or Chris Soules, but he made a stronger connection w/ both Andi & Kaitlyn so maybe female contestants might as well. The producers would have to portray him in a better light though.

  84. Shawn is kinda acting like a baby about the whole Nick thing, but Kaitlyn keeps bringing it up. "Why don’t you like him?…" It’s pretty simple, he’s a guy fighting for 1 woman. They purposefully brought Nick in when they did because they KNEW it would create a competition. I mean, would anyone still be watching if it was just Shawn and everyone else? Probably not much entertainment in that. I liked Shawn from the get-go but jealousy can be a real bitch if you let it. Shawn needs go be more confident in what he has with Kaitlyn rather than spend all his time worrying about what Nick is doing. Anyway, I can’t wait for next week! I hope Kaitlyn kicks Ian’s ass!

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